See Them Safely Home

Photo from economist.com

By Rev. Dr. Renee P. Wormack-Keels

I cannot remember a time, after Michael, Patrick and Corey, reached their teenage years, when I was not concerned about them coming safely home.

What a black mother tells her son/or sons is something like this….if you have an encounter with the police - you are stopped either walking or driving, “always be respectful.” That essentially means saying “yes Sir, please, thank you…” not as terms of endearment as we were taught as children to respect our elders, but because the police have guns.

Many of them (and this is my perspective) is that they do not respect or value black life. There is an implicit assumption that because they are police officers they have the “right” to stop you or detain you without probable cause. There is no assumption of “innocence” if you are a black male in the United States.

In a more reflective moment, I think it is not even about innocence as it is about place. Being black or brown can often mean “being out of place.” For example, if you happen to be in a neighborhood or section of town where it seems you “don’t fit” then you can be deemed as “out of place or not belonging in that part of town.” I’ve often wondered just why that is. Truth be told…I know why that is. Black folk in general are seen as untrustworthy and dishonest…with no foundation of fact. Being Black or Brown is a liability in America and not an asset. Does it mean, because you happen to be in a majority white community that one couldn’t possibly live there (unless you were working in the kitchen or doing yard work.). Or that you must be “up to no good” – planning to break in someone’s home.

It reminds me of a time when I served as pastor to a predominately “black” church in Boston. I always arrived early – time to be quiet and get ready to worship and think about the service and the sermon…. I heard someone enter the building and then enter the sanctuary. I went out and found a young white male seated. I walked over and said, “good morning, welcome to….” He then proceeded to ask me if I was the pastor. My response was “yes.” The next words I heard “almost caught be off guard….when he said, “I thought the pastor here was a man.” Immediately, my antenna went up. I began to sense a feeling of being “out of place” in my own sanctuary.

Next, he quoted a passage from Timothy about women NOT having “authority” in the church. I excused myself. Told him he was welcome to stay for service. Returned to my office and LOCKED the door. Before I could call the police, one of the parishioners (who was male and a deacon) came to the side door of the church.

I felt some relief as I opened my locked door and beckoned him into my office).

So …who was out of place. Neither of us “should have been out of place” yet my emotions of being not only a woman, but also being black and the pastor, caused me to feel a sense of danger. It felt awkward asking each of my male church members to “keep an eye on him.” There is another story here but for another time.

Why is this re-telling of this experience important? And why is it still so vivid in my memories? What continues to creep into my mind and spirit is the lack of feeling “safe” even in the sanctuary. Even in my “own” place of being. These are disturbing thoughts. Where can an African American

feel safe in America?

Back to my sons….who each have had encounters with the police. Fortunately, nothing other than being detained resulted in those encounters. One was arrested for not having his license but later released. When we reflected on the encounter, we both believed it could have turned out much worse.

Today – at 46 and 48 respectively, I still have this sense of “please bring them safely home….again.” I shared those thoughts with a friend this morning who asked me “how do you manage that. How do you live with the angst that must produce?”

Well, if there is anything to drive a praying mother to her knees, its having black and brown male children. And if we are all truthful, our girls are not all that safe either. What’s a mother to do?

Rev. Dr. Renee P. Wormack-Keels is the Executive Director of The Spirituality Network of Central Ohio.