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fter all the years of using my cancer condition and other things to “encourage” our children to procreate and with all our friends saying pretty much the same thing, “Once those grandchildren start to come, they’ll be coming from every direction.” Well, here they come! Milo Venable was born in on April 15, 2020 in Atlanta to Adam and Brittany and they continue to live in East Point, which is likely the most accessible Atlanta suburb to the Columbus area, so that’s good for us. Finn Venable was born on May 26, 2022 in Atlanta to Michael and Janice and they also live in East Point, less than a mile from BAM (Brittany, Adam, Milo), and that is very good for us and for them. Want to hear some more good news? Grandchild number three is coming in November. In fact, he or she (none of us, including Kathryn and Christopher Riddle), knows which. This wonderful news with be helped along by their status as homeowners in Columbus. They are close and we’re hoping we can get our hands on him/her early and often. For all my readers with children on which you’re waiting to deliver you a grandchild, I’m hopeful that you’ll get the good news soon that a precious bundle is on the way. Who knew how incredibly much you could love another human being? When I’m holding one of these beautiful grandchildren, I can either laugh or cry, and both emotions come from a happy place. I wish artificial intelligence (AI) wasn’t on the table as something children need to be aware of as they head into their lives. If you have children and grandchildren, please read Kimberly Blaker’s terrific story on why and how to prepare children for a life that will be dominated by AI. It is a riveting narrative and will likely scare you into doing whatever you have to do to help keep their experiences with AI from being scary, negative ones. We live on a farm in Seale, Alabama. There is a tractor, a side-by-side, a barn, a lake, plenty of trails in the woods, bon fires, muscadines, tools, blueberries, cats and places to walk with bare feet. We’ve stopped just shy of having larger animals on the property, but getting a pony might just be on the table if one of these or future grands want one. We just might have to do what we have to do to lure them down here for some Jilly and G-Pop time. Besides the AI story, there is so much good stuff in this issue to help you be a great parent. I hope you’ll dive as you leave me here and that you’ll find that perfect nugget of information that will deliver you directly into the All-Star Parent category. Here’s to being a great parent! Now, read on.
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A F F I R M AT I V E PA R E N T I N G
Living with Children Q: The school our 10-year-old daughter attends believes parents should micromanage homework sessions. They call it “being a homework buddy.” As a consequence, our daughter believes we should help her with her assignments. Mind you, we’re willing to help when help is truly needed, but we don’t want to be our daughter’s “buddies” under any circumstances. What are your thoughts on this? A: It is possible to get a child to do his/her own homework, even in the face of teachers who want parents to be “homework buddies.” My three-point plan: First, do not allow a child to do homework at the kitchen table or in any other family area. Make it clear that homework, being the child’s responsibility, is to be done in the child’s room. Parents should make sure the child has a suitable work area stocked with appropriate homework supplies. Rule of Thumb: When homework is done in a family area, homework will become a family affair, thus diminishing its benefit to the child in question. Second, limit the number of times per evening you will render assistance to the child, and limit the length of any such rendering. For example, when our children were of school age, my wife and I made a rule that we would not provide help with more than three homework problems per evening, nor would any one such “helpful occasion” exceed five minutes. Within these draconian (by today’s standards) limits, our children managed to make grades decent enough to get into good colleges. I am convinced that one of the unintended messages the “homework buddy” system sends to children is that they are not independently competent. Along those lines, veteran teachers tell me today’s kids are liberal users of the phrase, “I can’t.” Also, I think many a child has figured out that paying attention in class isn’t that important because his/her parents are going to re-teach everything anyway. Third, hold children responsible for their school performance. Just as negative consequences befall irresponsible adults, so should negative consequences befall children who do not accept their responsibilities. Lessons in real life should begin early, lest they come too late. When all is said and done, the “I am NOT your homework buddy” system described above amounts to nothing more than proper discipline, which has forever been and will always be the key to a child’s success in school. Q: Ever since toddlerhood, we have had significant behavior problems with our 6-year-old son—defiance and general disrespect, mostly. We have tried various disciplinary approaches with little to no positive results. The latest problem involves the fact that I homeschool him. Although he was not a problem in private school kindergarten last year—obedient, responsible, achieving—he is not the least bit motivated to work under my direction. The curriculum is on his level and the materials come highly recommended by other homeschooling moms. Nonetheless, he seems uninterested and complains constantly that the work is too hard, which it definitely isn’t. Today, for example, because of complaining, purposefully not following directions, and generally goofing off, he ended up in his room by 10 a.m. for the remainder of the day with no screen time for the rest of the week. As I write this, he’s in his room screaming that I’m unfair. I have completely run out of ideas. Help! A: First, if your little rebel was not a problem in kindergarten last school year, then I recommend that you put him back in “regular” school. Mind you, I applaud your attempt at homeschooling. I am an advocate, generally speaking, but I recommend against homeschooling when the teaching parent is experiencing significant discipline problems with the child in question. One can only homeschool effectively if major discipline problems have been resolved. Your authority as your son’s teacher depends on his acceptance of your authority as his parent, which is obviously not the case. Another way of saying the same thing: Discipline problems at home are going to carry over into homeschool. That’s an example of what I call “parenting physics.”
by John Rosemond, PhD
Under the circumstances, and especially given that your son had no problems in kindergarten (which means he recognizes and accepts the authority of other adults), I have to believe that a standard group setting is the best match for him. Let’s face it, homeschooling is not “one size fits all.” Nor is any other educational option, for that matter. If you decide that you’re going to push ahead with homeschooling, I make two suggestions: first, to get control of the discipline problems at home, read my book The Well-Behaved Child; second, that you find and join a local homeschool cooperative. The likelihood is—and his experience in kindergarten bolsters my view—your son is going to be far more cooperative with other mothers than he is with you. vp Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com. Copyright 2022, John K. Rosemond
NOVEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent
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Oct./Nov. 2022
VOLUME 17 NO. 5
D E PA R T M E N T S John Rosemond Lessons Learned
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Birthday Party Guide
9
Family Fun Calendar
12
Valley Smiles
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F E AT U R E S Artificial Intelligence
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Prepare your kids for careers in an AI-driven world.
Halloween with Toddlers
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Follow these safety tips.
Readers’ Choice Winner
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What To Do After the Thanksgiving Meal is Finished
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Seven Family Games for all the Turkeys at Your Thanksgiving
ON THE COVER
On th
e Go?
Read every Valley Pa rent wher mobi e on your le de vices . Dressed as a barista, Samantha Mathis, 10, is ready to serve up some coffee this Halloween. She is the daughter of Bobbie and Brooks Mathis of Waverly Hall. photos by Ritchie White Photography 2
Valley Parent | NOVEMBER 2022
by Kimberly Blaker
Prepare Your Kids for
CAREERS IN AN AI-DRIVEN WORLD M
any parents today never experienced a world where computers weren’t a standard household fixture, let alone a world without the Internet. When the World Wide Web first became available to the public in 1991, it was archaic compared to today. Yet at the time, it was quite the phenomenon. But the rapid speed of technological progress over the past couple of decades will resemble the crawl of a tortoise in another decade or two as technology continues to advance at an exponential rate. In fact, according to Ray Kurzweil, a world-renowned inventor, thinker and futurist, “We won’t experience 100 years of progress in the 21st century—it will be more like 20,000 years of progress (at today’s rate).” If you have any doubt, Kurzweil has a remarkable 30 year track record of making accurate predictions. This means the rapid change in recent years is nothing compared to what’s to come. The world in which tomorrow’s young adults will enter will be startlingly different from the one
in which we live today. That’s because our world is increasingly dependent on robotics, technology and now artificial intelligence (AI). But what is AI? It’s machines or programs with the capabilities of human intelligence. AI capabilities include learning, presenting knowledge, reasoning, problem solving, planning, perception, manipulation and motion. Right now, AI is in its infancy, and much of what’s purported to be AI is actually pseudo-AI. Whether imitation or the real thing, there are several current AI technologies: chatbots, Tesla, Siri and Alexa, Facebook and Instagram feeds and Pandora, to name a few—and AI is on the brink of changing the world as we know it. But with all good things come drawbacks. Within the next 20 years, AI will result in a loss of anywhere from nine to 47 percent of jobs, according to various studies by Oxford University and other institutions. So kids must be fully prepared for our vastly changing world and careers of the future.
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HOW TO PREPARE KIDS FOR THE FUTURE JOB MARKET Bolster interest and enthusiasm in STEM. Science, technology, engineering and math (STEM) skills are one of the gateways to job opportunities in a world dependent on AI. But to many kids, science and math spell boring with a capital “B.” This is in large part because kids can’t always see how these disciplines apply to life. So unless your child already expresses genuine interest in one or more of these disciplines, discussing STEM may be met with resistance. The trick is to provide kids with everyday experiences that put the fun in learning or provide kids experiences that are a natural part of life. Once you’ve gained their interest, explain its relationship to STEM. That way your child has a positive perspective on the discipline and recognizes its purpose and value.
Encourage free play and out-of-the-box thinking. Encourage free play and out-of-the-box thinking. Play fosters imagination, creativity and resilience to deal with challenges. These traits will be necessary to succeed in an ever-advancing world of AI. When kids play freely, they experiment, explore and
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dismantle (things, scenarios and concepts) to understand how the world works. So play is one of the best ways for kids to learn and develop skills.
RESEARCHERS FOUND SPATIAL ABILITY IS A PREDICTOR OF THE DEVELOPMENT OF KNOWLEDGE AND INNOVATION IN STEM FIELDS. Stimulate spatial awareness. This is an integral part of STEM learning and provides kids the ability to visualize their end product said David Lubinski, a psychology professor at Vanderbilt University. He is the lead author of a study published in Psychological Science journal, July 15, 2013. Researchers found spatial ability is a predictor of the development of knowledge and innovation in STEM fields.
Promote tech skills. Greg Satell says the tech skills of tomorrow will be vastly different from today in his article, “These Are the Skills That Your
Kids Will Need for the Future (Hint: It’s Not Coding).” By the time kids grow up, computer programming will no longer be based on current coding languages. It’ll be based “more on quantum laws and the human brain,” he explained. But because the future of computer programming is unknown, there’s no way to teach it to kids. So Satell recommends kids learn more about quantum dynamics, the logic of code and genetics, on which future systems will be based. Still, learning to code has its benefits. It’s true learning a coding language of today will unlikely be of any use in the future. But learning how to learn a code can make learning future codes easier. Coding also helps kids develop problemsolving skills. Finally, it’s an excellent way for kids to discover a career path and boost their self-confidence in a STEM discipline.
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Develop kids’ ability to deal with the real world. Develop kids’ ability to deal with the real world. Dave and Helen Edwards, co-founders of an AI research firm, point out there will still be careers in the future that are dependent on human capabilities. The Edwards explain humans will still be needed for jobs that require: interpersonal skills, applying math to business problems, management of our physical world (environmental science and engineering) as well as health care jobs. People will remain ahead of robots in these areas for some time.
Foster social skills and teamwork. These will be valuable assets in the future workforce. Collaboration requires a combination of skills and traits: emotional intelligence, humility, communication, listening, conflict resolution, goal setting, prioritizing, decision-making and framing problems. Emotional intelligence is particularly crucial to the development of excellent social skills and teamwork. Both interpersonal and intrapersonal skills are the framework for emotional intelligence. Interpersonal skills include social awareness and relationship
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Valley Parent | NOVEMBER 2022
WHEN KIDS PLAY FREELY, THEY EXPERIMENT, EXPLORE AND DISMANTLE (THINGS, SCENARIOS AND CONCEPTS) TO UNDERSTAND HOW THE WORLD WORKS.
management, while intrapersonal skills include self-awareness and self-regulation.
Cultivate entrepreneurial characteristics and skills. Even though automation and technology will reduce the need for laborers, people will always be needed to develop and manage companies. Add to this, the growing trend toward companies outsourcing and hiring independent professionals for a broad range of needs is likely to continue and become more common. Some essential entrepreneurial skills kids should develop are financial literacy, goal setting, problem solving, creativity and good work habits. vp
N E E W O rs
e L l d d L o T A r o H Tips f y t e f a S
P
umpkins, costumes and candy. Halloween is a fun time of year for kids of all ages, but as you gear up for your baby or toddler’s first Halloween, keep these safety tips in mind to keep everyone happy and ready for trick-or-treating.
Pumpkins When your family sits down to do the pumpkin carving, never allow kids to handle sharp objects. The carving should be done by adults only. Traditionally jack-o-lanterns were lit with candles. Consider using an LED light or glow stick to light your pumpkins on Halloween to keep both your own children and your visiting trick-or-treaters safe. If you do use a candle, keep the pumpkin out of reach of curious little ones.
by Sarah Lyons
Costumes When choosing a Halloween costume for your little one, pick something that is both comfortable and weather appropriate. Also choose bright colors for better visibility while out and about on Halloween evening. If you are a parent of a walker, pick a costume that is a comfortable length and will not cause the baby to trip and fall. Masks limit visibility and are uncomfortable for babies. Face paint may be a better option.
Trick-or-Treat When you venture out to do some trick-or-treating, have your child carry a flashlight or wear a glow stick. Always travel with an adult and stay together. Consider using a stroller, wagon or harness to contain your child or hold hands at all times as you walk. Use care to stay on sidewalks and only cross at street corners and crosswalks. It is best to visit homes where you know the residents, but if you do go to strangers’ homes, only approach if the porch light is on. Consider attending a fall festival or trunkNOVEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent
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or-treat instead of going door to door in a neighborhood. Typically these activities are well lit and offer a safer option for little ones and their families.
Candy Most Halloween candy will be a choking hazard for small kids. Hard candy, taffy, suckers, small toys and popcorn all present a choking hazard for babies. Carefully sort through the treat bag when you get home and remove anything unsafe. Discard any homemade items unless they were received from a trusted source. Soft chocolates and crackers are usually okay for older babies to try. Make sure to thoroughly clean their teeth after their treats. Some charities like Operation Gratitude or Ronald McDonald
House will accept donated Halloween candy and send to soldiers overseas in care packages.
More Halloween Tips Remember to be flexible when it comes to babies and holiday expectations. Many people enjoy putting up spooky decorations or wearing creepy costumes. These things can seem realistic to a small child and can be frightening. If they become scared, cut the night short and go home. Keep it simple on your first (or second) Halloween. Go out early and only visit a few houses of friends and family you know. There will be many more years to come as your child grows and matures when you will enjoy all the Halloween festivities. vp
Lessons Learned
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The Perfect
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E D G U I
Have your Birthday Party at
GOLDEN DONUT!
• 1 hour time slot • Up to 30 guests 625 Manchester Expy., Suite 100 706.660.8783 • GoldenDonut.com
Congratulations to our
READERS’ CHOICE
WINNER!
One-year-old Cohen is the son of Candler Brackin and Lane Clayton of Phenix City. Look for him on an upcoming cover!
Thanks to all who voted!
Cohen Clayton
NOVEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent
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Family Games
by Pam Molnar
for all the Turkeys at your Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends to gather—up until dinner is over, that is. When their bellies are full, the men retire to watch football, the kids scatter to empty rooms and the women are often left with kitchen duty. Avoid the after dinner segregation and keep them together with these seven Thanksgiving games and activities.
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Leaf Blower
Toss & Tell
Dress the Turkey
Split the group into two teams. Each team needs to blow a leaf from Point A to Point B using a straw in a relay race style. The next player will blow it back from Point B to Point A until everyone has had a turn. First team to finish wins.
All players sit in a circle. Start by tossing a small turkey stuffed animal or small football to a player and ask a question like, “Who do you think will make it to the Super Bowl this year?” or “What is your favorite memory from elementary school?” This multigenerational game will be a hit!
Select a volunteer from the family to be the turkey. Using brown crepe paper streamers, wrap up the turkey until he is covered. Decorate the turkey with a yellow beak, feet and colorful feathers made from construction paper or foam sheets. Don’t forget your camera!
Valley Parent | NOVEMBER 2022
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7 Pass the Cranberries
Stuffed Turkey
Fill your Plate
I Was So Hungry
Wrap a piece of candy in brown box tape. Continue to wrap the tape in a ball, adding additional pieces of candy as you go. The size of the ball will depend on how many players and candy you have. (This is a great way to use up the rest of your Halloween candy.) To play, place the ball in the center of the table. Using a pair of dice, each player takes a turn rolling for doubles. If you get doubles, you can start unwrapping the ball to get candy for as long as it takes the next player to get doubles. The ball is then passed to that player and so on until the ball is completely unwrapped.
This is a two-part game. Use free printables of Thanksgiving meal items— drumstick, cranberries, potatoes, stuffing, corn and pie. Have the kids color and cut out their dinner items. When everything is colored, pass out a paper plate to each player. The game is a spin off of the Cootie game, but instead of building a bug, we are filling our plate. Assign each meal item with a number and each time a player rolls the die, he gets to put that item on his plate. Whoever fills their plate first is the winner.
This memory game is a fun way to get the party laughing. The players sit at the table or in a circle. The first player starts, “I was so hungry that I ate a juicy drumstick for Thanksgiving.” The next person adds something like; “I was so hungry that I ate a juicy drumstick and a mound of mash potatoes for Thanksgiving.” Keep repeating and adding until the whole party is stuffed.
Using a turkey baster, pick up a cranberry and bring it to a bowl on the other side of the room. The first team to pass all their cranberries from one bowl to the other is the winner.
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Calendar OCTOBER 1-30 Pumpkins at Callaway Gardens
The gardens are aglow this fall during the bigger and brighter Pumpkins at Callaway. By day, explore 2,500 acres of family fun packed with pumpkins, sunflowers and festive fall topiaries. Explore a brand-new corn maze growing in the heart of the gardens that transforms after dark into a glowing labyrinth of lights for not-sospooky nighttime exploration! Stay after sundown to watch the grounds come alive with illuminating experiences, including a towering Pumpkin Tree and an Enchanted Pumpkin Forest. Info and tickets: CallawayGardens.com
3, 10, 17, 24 Tuning Into Kids: Emotionally Intelligent Parenting
Join Alabama Extension for a multi session parenting program. Tuning Into Kids helps children develop emotional intelligence. Research has shown that children with higher emotional intelligence have greater success with making and keeping friends and have better concentration at school. Cost: Free Registration required: Call 334-298-6845
8 Astronomy Nights at the Coca-Cola Space Science Museum
The program begins at 7 p.m. in the Omnisphere Planetarium where Dr. Rosa Williams will be giving a tour of interesting objects in the fall skies. Then (weather permitting), you’ll venture to the South Lawn at 8 p.m., where telescopes will be available to view the planet Saturn, a conjunction between Jupiter, the nearly-full moon, double stars in Cygnus and Cassiopeia, fainter objects such as the Wild Duck open cluster (M11) and similar objects like M29 and M39. Cost: Free Info: ccssc.org
16 Monster Cake Decorating with Becca at Piney Woods Farm, LaGrange
Get into the Halloween spirit by bring your little monsters for a fun day of decorating monster cakes. Learn different techniques to make the scariest, or adorable, monster cake. Royal icing can be a little messy so feel free to bring your own apron. Each participant will decorate mini cakes to take home. At the end of the class, you will receive a bakery box for transporting your finished cakes and leftover supplies. An adult must accompany a child. Cost: $50 Info and tickets: pineywoods.farm/wp-event/monstercake-decorating-with-becca/
NOVEMBER 5, 12, 13 On My Street at The Springer Opera House
Avery and Skyler are spending the afternoon creating the town of Awesomeopolis ... only the coolest town they could possibly live in. As they are imagining, they realize that something is missing—the people—the thing that makes a town a community and the world a little bit more colorful. Join them in making their community the best one yet. This production will introduce young audiences to community helpers who make our community complete and more vibrant. Info and tickets: SpringerOperaHouse.org
11 Veterans Day Mini Camp at the NIM
The National Infantry Museum’s mini-camp will teach children more about our nation’s history. Mini-camps are open to ages 5-11. Camp takes place from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Cost: $10 Info: NationalInfantryMuseum.org/nim-kids/
15 A Magical Cirque Christmas at the RiverCenter
The world’s greatest entertainers unite for this spellbinding and incredible holiday production. Experience the enchantment of Christmas as Magical Hostess Lucy Darling takes you through an evening of dazzling performers and breathtaking cirque artists, accompanied by your favorite holiday music performed live. Get into the spirit of the season with this show that’s perfect for the entire family. Info and tickets: RiverCenter.org
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Valley Smiles Send your photos and captions to ContactUs@ValleyParent.com.
Evelyn Sims, 3, loves petting her family’s chickens.
Camberlyn Shipp, 9, on the first day of third grade at Lakewood Elementary
Karsten Meeks, 5, of Salem enjoys cooking for his family.
Kassidi Evans celebrated her first birthday all month long.
Kidd Kayson Meeks, 1, is all smiles on his family’s camping trip in Aiken, South Carolina.
Five members of the Columbus Georgia Barracudas swim team competed at the 2022 GA Age Group Long Course State Championship at Georgia Tech. They are (L-R): Ciara White, 11; Evan Davis, 11, who qualified for State and the Junior Olympics; Caiden Granger, 11; Arjun Suryadevara, 8 and Rawlins Danielson, 9. NOVEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent
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