Gentle Voice May 2013
Subject: Gentle Voice May 2013 Date: 30/04/13 18:07
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May 2013 In This Issue
Editor's welcome
Dalai Lama This month at Jamyang Geshe Tashi's column The Director's Column Community Day Lama Zopa About FPMT Your Thoughts for Gentle Voice
Quick Links Jamyang Website Current Programme Talking Buddhism The Foundation Study Course The Lamrim Chenmo Study Course FPMT
Hello, John, our usual editor, is busy moving house so we have reverted to the default Gentle Voice Editor, aka Monsieur Typo. Many of our community were deeply inspired by His Holiness the Dalai Lama in Switzerland and Geshe Tashi was fortunate to be able, once again, to spend time with His Holinerss the Dalai Lama during his recent UK tour. We all need a little, well frankly rather a lot of, inspiration in our lives - especially when the news can seem so unrelentingly grim. So why not take some to think about all the kind and gentle and tolerant and compassionate people in the world and rejoice in their goods deeds and rejoice in them. And yes that means rejoicing in your goodness too. We were all nutured on the milk of human kindness and our capacity for benevolence and care seems hard wired into us needing only the right conditions to
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be released. May those 'right conditions' manifest right now in us and across the world. Default Mickey
His Holiness the Dalai Lama on Compassion and the Individual The Purpose of Life One great question underlies our experience, whether we think about it consciously or not: What is the purpose of life? I have considered this question and would like to share my thoughts in the hope that they may be of direct, practical benefit to those who read them. I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering. Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment. I don't know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves. Therefore, it is important to discover what will bring about the greatest degree of happiness. How to achieve happiness For a start, it is possible to divide every kind of happiness and suffering into two main categories: mental and physical. Of the two, it is the mind that exerts the greatest influence on most of us. Unless we are either gravely ill or deprived of basic necessities, our physical condition plays a secondary role in life. If the body is content, we virtually ignore it. The mind, however, registers every event, no matter how small. Hence we should devote our most serious efforts to bringing about mental peace. From my own limited experience I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own
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sense of well-being becomes. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. This helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source of success in life. As long as we live in this world we are bound to encounter problems. If, at such times, we lose hope and become discouraged, we diminish our ability to face difficulties. If, on the other hand, we remember that it is not just ourselves but everyone who has to undergo suffering, this more realistic perspective will increase our determination and capacity to overcome troubles. Indeed, with this attitude, each new obstacle can be seen as yet another valuable opportunity to improve our mind! Thus we can strive gradually to become more compassionate, that is we can develop both genuine sympathy for others' suffering and the will to help remove their pain. As a result, our own serenity and inner strength will increase. Our need for love Ultimately, the reason why love and compassion bring the greatest happiness is simply that our nature cherishes them above all else. The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. It results from the profound interdependence we all share with one another. However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent one may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when one is sick or very young or very old, one must depend on the support of others. Interdependence, of course, is a fundamental law of nature. Not only higher forms of life but also many of the smallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law or education, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innate recognition of their interconnectedness. The most subtle level of material phenomena is also governed by interdependence. All phenomena, from the planet we inhabit to the oceans, clouds, forests and flowers that surround us, arise in dependence upon subtle patterns of energy. Without their proper interaction, they dissolve and decay. It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our
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existence. Therefore we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others. We have to consider what we human beings really are. We are not like machine-made objects. If we were merely mechanical entities, then machines themselves could alleviate all of our sufferings and fulfill our needs. However, since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. Instead, we should consider our origins and nature to discover what we require. Leaving aside the complex question of the creation and evolution of our universe, we can at least agree that each of us is the product of our own parents. In general, our conception took place not just in the context of sexual desire but from our parents' decision to have a child. Such decisions are founded on responsibility and altruism-the parents' compassionate commitment to care for their child until it is able to take care of itself. Thus, from the very moment of our conception, our parents' love is directly involved in our creation. Moreover, we are completely dependent upon our mother's care from the earliest stages of our growth. According to some scientists, a pregnant woman's mental state, be it calm or agitated, has a direct physical effect on her unborn child. The expression of love is also very important at the time of birth. Since the very first thing we do is suck milk from our mother's breast, we naturally feel close to her, and she must feel love for us in order to feed us properly; if she feels anger or resentment her milk may not flow freely.
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Then there is the critical period of brain development from the time of birth up to at least the age of three or four, during which time loving physical contact is the single most important factor for the normal growth of the child. If the child is not held, hugged, cuddled or loved, its development will be impaired and its brain will not mature properly. Since a child cannot survive without the care of others, love is its most important nourishment. The happiness of childhood, the allaying of the child's many fears and the healthy development of its self- confidence all depend directly upon love. Nowadays, many children grow up in unhappy homes. If they do not receive proper affection, in later life they will rarely love their parents and, not infrequently, will find it hard to love others. This is very sad. As children grow older and enter school, their need for support must be met by their teachers. If a teacher not only imparts academic education but also assumes responsibility for preparing students for life, his or her pupils will feel trust and respect and what has been taught will leave an indelible impression on their minds. On the other hand, subjects taught by a teacher who does not show true concern for his or her students' overall well-being will be regarded as temporary and not retained for long. Similarly, if one is sick and being treated in hospital by a doctor who evinces a warm human feeling, one feels at ease and the doctor's desire to give the best possible care is itself curative, irrespective of the degree of his or her technical skill. On the other hand, if one's doctor lacks human feeling and displays an unfriendly expression, impatience or casual disregard, one will feel anxious, even if he or she is the most highly qualified doctor and the disease has been correctly diagnosed and the right medication prescribed. Inevitably, patients' feelings make a difference to the quality and completeness of their recovery. Even when we engage in ordinary conversation in everyday life, if someone speaks with human feeling we enjoy listening, and respond accordingly; the whole conversation becomes interesting, however unimportant the topic may be. On the other hand, if a person speaks
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coldly or harshly, we feel uneasy and wish for a quick end to the interaction. From the least to the most important event, the affection and respect of others are vital for our happiness. Recently I met a group of scientists in America who said that the rate of mental illness in their country was quite high around twelve percent of the population. it became clear during our discussion that the main cause of depression was not a lack of material necessities but a deprivation of the affection of others. So, as you can see from everything I have written so far, one thing seems clear to me: whether or not we are consciously aware of it, from the day we are born, the need for human affection is in our very blood. Even if the affection comes from an animal or someone we would normally consider an enemy, both children and adults will naturally gravitate towards it. I believe that no one is born free from the need for love. And this demonstrates that, although some modern schools of thought seek to do so, human beings cannot be defined as solely physical. No material object, however beautiful or valuable, can make us feel loved, because our deeper identity and true character lie in the subjective nature of the mind. Developing compassion Some of my friends have told me that, while love and compassion are marvelous and good, they are not really very relevant. Our world, they say, is not a place where such beliefs have much influence or power. They claim that anger and hatred are so much a part of human nature that humanity will always be dominated by them. I do not agree. We humans have existed in our present form for about a hundred thousand years. I believe that if during this time the human mind had been primarily controlled by anger and hatred, our overall population would have decreased. But today, despite all our wars, we find that the human population is greater than ever. This clearly indicates to me that love
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and compassion predominate in the world. And this is why unpleasant events are "news"; compassionate activities are so much a part of daily life that they are taken for granted and, therefore, largely ignored. So far I have been discussing mainly the mental benefits of compassion, but it contributes to good physical health as well. According to my personal experience, mental stability and physical well-being are directly related. Without question, anger and agitation make us more susceptible to illness. On the other hand, if the mind is tranquil and occupied with positive thoughts, the body will not easily fall prey to disease. But of course it is also true that we all have an innate self-centeredness that inhibits our love for others. So, since we desire the true happiness that is brought about by only a calm mind, and since such peace of mind is brought about by only a compassionate attitude, how can we develop this? Obviously, it is not enough for us simply to think about how nice compassion is! We need to make a concerted effort to develop it; we must use all the events of our daily life to transform our thoughts and behavior. First of all, we must be clear about what we mean by compassion. Many forms of compassionate feeling are mixed with desire and attachment. For instance, the love parents feel for their child is often strongly associated with their own emotional needs, so it is not fully compassionate. Again, in marriage, the love between husband and wife-particularly at the beginning, when each partner still may not know the other's deeper character very well-depends more on attachment than genuine love. Our desire can be so strong that the person to whom we are attached appears to be good, when in fact he or she is very negative. In addition, we have a tendency to exaggerate small positive qualities. Thus when one partner's attitude changes, the other partner is often disappointed and his or her attitude changes too. This is an indication that love has been motivated more by personal need than by genuine care for the other individual. True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively. The whole article can be found on the Lama Yeshe Wisdom archive site which carries quite a few articles by His Holiness the Dalai Lama as well as by Lama Yeshe and Kyabje Zopa Rinpoche. The site is well worth a visit. THIS MONTH AND NEXT AT JAMYANG
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CLASSES AND EVENTS IN APRIL AND MAY AT JAMYANG CLASSES and RETREATS with GESHE TASHI
Nagarjuna's Wisdom Tuesdays 21, 28 May onwards 7.30pm Enlightening Ways Wednesdays 22, 29 May onwards 7.30pm RETREATS, WEEKEND TEACHINGS and PRACTICE Buddhist Concept of Suffering Weekend 18 & 19 May with Geshe Graham Woodhouse
WEEK DAY EVENINGS Buddhist Meditation in Practice Thursdays 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 May with David Ford Medicine Buddha Puja Tuesdays weekly from 30 April 6:15pm Silent Meditation Thursdays weekly from 2 May 6.15 - 7.15pm Lama Choepa Puja 4, 20 May 6 - 7pm The Heart Sutra Tuesdays 16, 23, 30 April and 7, 8, 14, 15 May with John Bonell Divine Dharmas Wednesdays 1 May with Natascha Bolonkin and Erika Bansky
PRACTICE GROUPS Insight Meditation Practice Group 4 and 18 May 10.30-12.30pm open to all Kalachakra Group meets 18 May 2 -5:30pm for initiates only Guhyasamaja Group meets 19 May 10am for initiates only Vajrayogini group meets 19 May 2:30pm for initiates only Please book for all weekend classes other than practice groups by calling the office on 02078208787 or email admin@jamyang.co.uk You can drop in to all evening classes unless we state otherwise.
Introduction to Meditation Monday 13 May 7:30pm Buddhist Meditation: Wisdom Mondays weekly 20 May onwards 7:30pm WEEK DAY DAYTIME Tara Puja Tuesdays weekly from 30 April 4.30 5.45pm COMMUNITY MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) NEW COURSE Thursday 10:30am and evenings 6:30pm 23rd of May for 9 weeks. You must book for these courses. Contact jane@jamyang.co.uk or vinod@jamyang.co,uk Chi Kung and Tai Chi Monday evenings taught by William Walker. For more information and to book call William (follow the link above) Yoga Tuesday evenings taught by Judy Watchman
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For more information and to book call Judy (follow the link above) Hridaya (Heart Centre) Yoga Wednesday evenings taught by Naz For more information and to book call Naz (follow the link above) Self Love Yoga Class Friday evenings Taught by Nicolette For more information and to book call Nicolette (follow the link above) SPECIAL EVENTS Jamyang Community Day 11 May Come and share your thoughts about Jamyang and all of its activities Buddha Day 25 May 8 -9:45am Eight Mahayana Precepts with Shakyamuni Puja Community Dharma 26 May and 2nd June with Geshe Tashi 2-4pm. Finishing with shared tea party. Feel free to bring something to
Geshe Tashi's column Hello everyone, So I had the amazing good fortune to be asked to accompany His Holiness the Dalai Lama on his visit to Ireland and Great Britain. It is an honour to accompany him, but it is more than that. It is an inspiration. I find his life and his personality and his tireless work for world peace and the preservation of Tibetan culture so inspiring. Of course I find the life and work of the Shakyamuni Buddha inspiring, but it something about being in the presence of a living embodiment of loving kindness that has a special kind of impact. So the tour has just finished and this time what vimpressed me most was his boundless energy and enthusiastic engagement in every thing he did for others. Extraordinary, and hugely inspiring.
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Other than that I am looking forward to restarting my midweek classes in the last part of May. On Tuesday I will teach three chapters of Nagarjuna's famous Fundamental Stanzas on the Middle Way. This is the first time I have tried to teach this at Jamyang so while looking forward to it, at the same time I wonder whether it will work. What encourages me is the high number of people who came regularly every week to the Tuesday evening teachings in the Spring term. And then on Wednesdays I will again teach Lam Rim, the gradual path to Enlightenment. Please don't think that just because I teach on it every summmer and just because you have attended a few of the courses and some of the retreats, that you have 'done' Lam Rim. In my mind I can never get enough of Lam Rim, for me it is as fresh, inspiring (and challenging) today as it was all those years back when I first heard it.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama on Educating the Heart Follow this link to a video of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's recent talk on Educating the Heart at St John's College Cambridge. You may recognise one or two of the people.... The video can be found on His Holiness's website. Cambridge
Burmese Buddhist violence against Rohingya muslims on the Bangladesh Burma border and Bangladeshi violence against Buddhists in the Chittagong tracts The recent spate of violent attacks by Burmese Buddhists against members of the Rohingya muslim minority in Bangladesh, some of which were clearly incited and led by ordained sangha in the Theravada tradition, and where the local police quite clearly did nothing meaningful to intervene are not only horrendous personal disasters for the people involved but also unbelievably bad PR for Buddhism generally and for Theravada Buddhism and Burmese Buddhism in particular. While hoping that the Theravada monastic hierarchy in Burma steps in very quickly to discipline the monks who are playing an active role in inciting this cruelty and madness lets us not forget that on the Bangladeshi side of the border Chittagong Buddhists have been attacked and killed and their homes and places of worship destroyed by muslim jihadi fundamentalist mobs. Please pray that both groups rediscover the ancient virtues of tolerance of diversity and neighbourliness and of not obsessively clinging to one's own religious or ethnic group and despising others.
Director's Column 30/04/13 18:08
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Signs of spring are beginning to appear as the sun begins to emerge again; the winds ease and the temperatures slowly start to rise. As April is all but over and colourful buds and blossoms herald the coming of the merrier month of May, - April, as T. S. Eliot observed inThe Waste Land, can be "the cruellest month" - we are looking forward to our annual Community Day here at Jamyang, in just under two weeks time, on Saturday, 11 May. It is a day for everyone in the Jamyang community to meet, rejoice, enjoy, be present and look to the future. We very much hope to see as many people there as possible. This is very much your day, an intra-Community Day. A day for members of the Jamyang Community - the students, practitioners, volunteers, staff, Friends and Trustees - to get together to discuss and better understand our vision, purpose and strategy. We want to engage everyone in the Jamyang community in bringing their ideas and energy to shaping our future. It is also a wonderful opportunity for all of us to both welcome and greet old friends and meet and make new ones.There will be displays to show Jamyang's work and achievements. Most importantly, everyone will have the opportunity to contribute ideas and ask questions about the growth and development of the centre to better offer service to the community and make the Dharma available for the benefit of all sentient beings. There will be a question and answer session in the afternoon on initiatives for the future of Jamyang activities and the development of the building. This will be driven by a discussion of your ideas from a special suggestions box on the day. The displays will be in the reception area on your arrival and the box will be placed prominently there, together with some relevant materials to enable you to hone and submit your suggestions prior to engaging in some enthusiastic, constructive and enjoyable discussion inspired by them. Let's try and make this really useful. Start now! You will all hopefully have some time before the day to reflect and get your thinking caps on. You will then be able to refresh and inform your thoughts as you look at the displays on arrival before offering your suggestions for the development and improvement of Jamyang's strategy and capability for the better delivery of our Buddhist and Community programmes. Fresh from his attendance on His Holiness in the UK and Northern Ireland during
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April, Geshe-la will be re-commencing his teaching programme in May. The May programme is well worth taking a look at if you haven't done so already. On Tuesdays from 21 May, in Nargarjuna's Wisdom he will be teaching and exploring the influential writings of Nargarjuna, the founder of the 'Middle Way' school. On Wednesdays, from the 22nd he will be teaching on theEnlightening Ways of Lama Atisha's Graded Path to Enlightenment. Geshe Graham is here for the weekend of 18 & 19 May exploring suffering and impermanence via two of the famous and fundamental Four Seals of Buddhism. The Monday and Thursday Buddhist meditation classes return in May, the Insight Meditation Group continues on Saturdays and John Bonnell's Meditation on the Heart Sutra series continues on Tuesdays and Wednesdays finishing on Tuesday, 14 & Wednesday, 15 May. On Saturday, 25 May in the morning from 8 - 9.45am we have another opportunity to come together as a community with Geshe-la, take the eight Mahayana precepts and do Shakyamuni Buddha Puja and celebrateSaga Dawa or Enlightenment Day with practice and prayers. Roy
Dont forget Community Day 11th May 2013 JAMYANG COMMUNITY DAY Arrive 10.30am for refreshments and an 11 am start. Meet up with old friends, make new friends, meet the hard working members of the Jamyang Board. There will be lots of opportunity for you to offer comments and suggestions for how Jamyang and its sister charity, the Courthouse Community Centre, can improve the quality of what we offer and offer it more widely as well as offer comments on the five themes and targets of the 5 Year Strategic Plan. All that through informal discussions and a SUGGESTIONS BOX placed prominently in the building. In the afternoon the Board will open the box and discuss the suggestions. There will also be an opportunity to see the film Being your True Nature by Osel Hita and Matteo Passigatto. A very uiplifting and beautifully lit film. Looking forward to seeing you there!
Buddhist Education Programme Advisory Group (BEPAG)
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The Jamyang Five Year Plan contains ambitious plans for the expansion of the onsite and online Buddhist educationire are big plans for the
Venerable Lobsang Palmo Eve Hardman - an obituary Venerable Lobsang Palmo (Eve Hardman), one of Jamyang's Sangha, died peacefully at home, on 13 April 2013, at the age of 68, following a diagnosis of cancer last year. South-African-born Venerable Palmo, had an adventurous life before settling in the UK. Disabled from birth, she never let this hold her back, her mother having told her that she would grow up doing everything other children did. Perhaps this is why she was such a "strong" and "feisty " person (as some of her Jamyang friends have described her). After leaving South Africa, Venerable Palmo travelled widely, round Australia and New Zealand, as well as spending time on an Israeli kibbutz. Having trained as a speech therapist, Venerable Palmo spent her last working years as a senior administrator at BT, where she met Phil Henry, who was to be her partner for many years and who she supported and nursed before he died in 2011. Venerable Palmo became interested in Buddhism in the late 1960s and was a Buddhist practitioner from 1994. Jamyang subsequently became her "home" in 2002, where she was ordained by Geshe Tashi on Enlightenment Day in June 2008. As a mature Sangha member, her contributions to Jamyang were many and various and she enriched the small Sangha group at Jamyang, including Venerable Barbara, Venerable Kerry (Nalanda Monastery in France) and Venerable Shona.
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Volunteering in the (sometimes chaotic) Jamyang office, Venerable Palmo assisted the Spiritual Programme Coordinator, particularly with running the FBT course, but with a love of language and a fine eye for detail, she was also an invaluable proof-reader of Gentle Voice, avoiding the worst errors of The Grauniad (so apologies to her for any typos in this article). A regular at the Dying Well group, Venerable Palmo contributed warmly and personally at meetings, considerably enriched by her experience of nursing Phil, and she was a mainstay for the final meditation, reading or blessing. Her presence as ordained Sangha at a number of our community members' funerals when she gave readings was hugely appreciated. It is perhaps fitting that her last visit to Jamyang, a month before her death, was to attend the Dying Well group, despite her by then failing strength. Venerable Palmo was a keen gardener, building a new rockery in her Hackney garden, not long before she moved to South London in 2011, and despite having been diagnosed with chronic heart failure. Her garden was also home to many birds and animals - and an adopted cat. Her presence is now evoked in Jamyang's lovely courtyard garden, particularly with two plants she had donated. A white camellia was in blossom at the time of her death and it flowers below the beautiful Buddha Paranirvana statue. The other plant - Abendglut Bergenia - was in bud as Venerable Palmo was dying and now has red flowers; a strong plant, whose name translates as "evening glow" or "evening sunset" - this seems very
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appropriate for a strong woman. Venerable Palmo displayed amazing generosity and kindness to FPMT projects and to individuals. Jamyang's Repaying the Kindness project, which supports carers in Lambeth and Southwark with a range of activities, beneďŹ ted hugely from a very generous donation from Venerable Palmo in 2012 when it was badly in need of funds due to the ending of local government funding. Her donation has secured RTK's future for some years, enabling it to continue its invaluable role, oering carers an enjoyable and relaxing break from their tiring and sometimes stressful lives. From 2003, Venerable Palmo was a volunteer with the Liberation Prison Project set up by the Venerable Robina Courtin. From 2006, Venerable Palmo was a corresponding Dharma friend, regularly writing to prisoners. When she was too ill to continue, she arranged for another nun to continue to write to "her guys". Since her ordination in 2009 Venerable Palmo was a Dharma mentor to seven LPP students in the USA. Last July, she enthused a group of students at Jamyang to volunteer as Dharma friends for LPP students, subsequently coordinating the largest group of volunteers from any one centre. Finally a few months ago, she arranged for another nun to continue coordinating Jamyang's LPP volunteers. Venerable Palmo faced her death and prepared herself as best she could for the end of this life - an example to all of us. As she told someone recently - "I'm really rather excited about dying". The support she received from her family and from the Jamyang community following her earlier diagnosis of 30/04/13 18:08
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chronic heart failure and the subsequent news of her cancer, was invaluable. Venerable Barbara visited her weekly - and also supported Phil in his final illness. She accompanied Venerable Palmo to her many hospital appointments and offered much other support as well. Her role was taken over by Jamyang's Esther Garibay, when Venerable Barbara left for a long retreat abroad in January this year. Venerable Palmo's siblings, Patricia and Richard, and their families were an equally important support to her, particularly in the final weeks. Venerable Palmo had hoped to die in hospice care, but when this was not possible, she was cared for wonderfully in her own home. Her family spent much time with her. Her carers, Josephine and Ufoma - African women who she got on with very well came four times a day; and nursing back-up included an overnight sitting service from a Marie Curie nurse. Two days before she died, Geshe Tashi did a Medicine Buddha puja with her; her mind was clear and she was able to follow each stage of the puja. In the last few days she expressed the wish to be in silence and as peaceful as possible. And so it was. She died peacefully, with Patricia at her side and following Geshe Tashi's advice she was left undisturbed for an hour after which Patricia placed a blessed substance on the crown of Palmo's head. Venerable Palmo treasured Thich Nhat Hanh's biography of Shakyamuni Buddha, Old Path, White Clouds, and it was this book she chose to be read to her when she was dying and could no longer read it herself. A great believer in being in the
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present, we conclude this tribute to Venerable Palmo with a Thich Nhat Hanh poem which (though not in the biography) she often quoted: I have arrived I am home in the here, in the now. I am solid. I am free. In the ultimate I dwell. (Thich Nhat Hanh) There will be a memorial at Jamyang Buddhist Centre
on 6th July for Venerable Palmo's family and friends - a ďŹ tting date as this is the birthday of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, for whom Ven. Palmo had a particular connection and deep respect. Lama Zopa Rinpoche on disharmony in the family A student said there was some disharmony between her parents and her siblings. She asked Rinpoche's advice for improving relations, to bring about harmony between them. Her parents were upset, but her brothers and sisters were even more upset than the parents. The happiness that we think comes from outside actually comes from within us, from within our own mind. It is the same with our problems. Actually, nothing comes from just outside. Everything depends on how one thinks. Although it may seem to come from outside one's mind, those are only the conditions for problems to arise. One way of thinking brings problems in life, the other way, one doesn't see problems. You can read the book Transforming Problems and also 30/04/13 18:08
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His Holiness the Dalai Lama's books on the good heart and his teachings on patience. You can mention to your brothers and sisters that whatever harm they think their parents are doing to them, if they had not done negative actions toward the parents in the past, there would be no reason for them to receive harm or any unpleasant experiences from the parents now. So, remembering karma helps one to practice patience, not to get angry and return the harm. The parents of this life are very powerful objects in one's life. They gave birth to this body, and even a small disrespect shown to them generates negative karma so heavy that the results are experienced in this life and also continue into the next life. Even a small service or respect shown to this life's parents brings results so powerful that the experience of the results starts in this life and then goes on into future lives. This happens from karma created with powerful objects, starting from one's parents. This is one of the three types of karma. With the second type of karma, the results are experienced in the next life. The results of the third type of karma are experienced after many lifetimes. A more powerful object than the parents are ordained Sangha, including arhats, who have been liberated from and are free of the control of delusion and karma. More powerful than numberless arhats is one bodhisattva, just because he or she has generated bodhicitta. If you look at one bodhisattva with a disrespectful mind, glaring at them, this creates more negative karma than taking an eye from all the three realms' sentient beings. If one looks at a bodhisattva with a respectful, devotional look, this creates much more merit than offering jewels to all the beings in the three realms. This is how powerful one bodhisattva is. More powerful than numberless bodhisattvas is one buddha. Still more powerful than all the buddhas is one's own virtuous friend. These are the powerful objects in one's life, so a small act of disrespect to them brings very negative results. The more powerful the object, the more negative those results. Therefore, it's very good that you want to try to help your brothers and sisters be in harmony with your parents,
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so that they don't create negative karma with their parents. If you get angry, it doesn't help. It leaves an imprint in the mind, planting a seed that will cause anger to arise again continuously in the future. When you think someone is bad-that is, you label them "bad"- if you retaliate, instead of making others harm you less, you create the cause to receive more harm from others in the future. Therefore, in order to help oneself and also to protect and give peace and happiness to others and to oneself, now and in the future, the wisest thing is not to get angry or harm them back. The best thing is to practice compassion toward them and toward others. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------More advice from Rinpoche can be found in the Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive, a treasure trove of jewels of compassion and wisdom from our kind teachers. Please see FPMT Jamyang is affiliated with FPMT (Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition) and is one of more than 150 centers and projects worldwide. FPMT is based on the Gelugpa tradition of Lama Tsongkhapa of Tibet as taught by our founder, Lama Thubten Yeshe and spiritual director, Lama Zopa Rinpoche. If you would like to receive FPMT's monthly newsletters please subscribe here.
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