September 2022 Volume 5 Issue 2

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” JFK

The Superpower Project Navigating the Negotiation

Blaise Hunter | Human Rights Consultant | Heroine

We are a culture that depends on negotiating. Whether we are conscious of it or not, our minds, bodies, and habits negotiate thousands of deals daily. Yet, when we are faced with confronting the compromise, many of us fill up with fear. I was one of these people. I had negative self-esteem for most of my life, so taking a hard stance on what I want or what I am worth has been particularly challenging for me. Over the years I have healed that part of me, but I still notice I get timid and nervous when I’m faced with presenting a counteroffer. I admire my husband and his ability to detach his identity from the process. He is a fantastic negotiator. When I examine how my husband and I approach this issue differently, I can’t help but wonder if being a woman has anything to do with it.

The Superpower Project is about highlighting various challenges or “kryptonites” facing people and helping us neutralize their effect on us. A deadly kyrptonite facing us these days is women are great at negotiating for others but not so much for themselves. There are empowered negotiators with all genders, but women face distinct challenges when it comes to this transaction. Mostly because we are often referred to as aggressive, disagreeable, or unladylike when we do it. Women are also more inclined to have imposter syndrome and undervalue their professional worth. We have been conditioned to avoid assertiveness, an essential skill for an effective negotiation. As I have unearthed my super identity, I have made a clear intention to get better at the art of negotiating. The only way to do this is through practice. So even in the last few weeks, I have pushed through my fears and tried to bargain better.

This has been a fascinating exercise for me. The flood of emotions fills my head with what ifs, and various scenarios of responses. I clearly recognize this is a skill I need way more conditioning but my willingness to learn, try, fall, and repeat again is prevalent. The first attempt I got exactly what I countered and the second one I got four out of the five things I wanted. So far, this experiment has been a success. The thing about negotiations is, you aren’t always going to get everything you ask for. That isn’t the point. It’s about finding a common ground where everyone walks away feeling empowered and a winner. Repetition helps disarm some of those anxieties and the fears of broaching uncomfortable conversations. This is where the practice becomes a superpower. The more we negotiate, the more confident we become. We learn even if we don’t get exactly what we wanted, we were brave with our bargaining. The win is in the attempt. We take steps to owning our identity, when we voice our needs, personal and professional worth, and our wants. This is a loud signal that the other side is dealing with someone who values themselves. I want to challenge people to be a courageous communicator with their worth and what they deserve. We cannot change the outcome if we don’t even try. Women can use their skills of poise, assertiveness, fluidness, empathy, intuition, collaboration, diplomacy, resourcefulness, and resilience to reach a successful transaction. Don’t deny the feminine to fit in the masculine exchange. Leverage these attributes.

Here are some key tips to help when negotiating:

1. Transform the Money Mindset -This is all about knowing our value.When we truly know our worth andexpress this, others will perceive it aswell.

2. Go High – Men ask for more thanwomen do. Ask for higher than yourideal outcome.

3. Practice – Get rid of anxiety throughthe discipline of repetition. Negotiateeven the small things in life toremove the awkwardness.

4. Prepare – Knowledge is empowerment.Arm yourself with tools ofinformation. Research and have supportingfacts to back the ask.

We need more voices that encourage women to take risks and declare their worth. We should be teaching this in schools, homes, churches, workplaces, and organizations. A confident and savvy woman negotiator empowers our world. Women and positive emotions belong at the table. We can drive mutual solutions and constructive outcomes for all parties. This isn’t about one-upping or overpowering anyone, negotiating is about walking away with mutual victors. We must shift the focus from one winner to winning together. Since women do better at championing others instead of themselves, we can use this to our advantage. Let’s try negotiating communally. Approaching negotiation as though we are petitioning on behalf of others or the betterment as a whole, we will be seen as collaborative and self-assured. This creates an impression of leadership and demonstrates that women who adopt a “shared” or “I-we” strategy, in which they show concern for the other person’s perspective and position can reduce the social cost of negotiation. We can only do this if we are willing to take a step past our fears. We can only create safety in the negotiation if we are bold, brave, and unbound. Let us rise and unshackle our voices for the common good of humanity. Dare to ask. For more information about the Heroine Movement visit www.blaisehunter.com