Freedom from Domestic Violence and Abuse

Fear Is Not Love

- Kim Ruse

FearIsNotLove, formerly known as the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter, is a Calgary-based social agency dedicated to supporting people affected by domestic violence and abuse. The organization recently underwent a brand evolution while still keeping its emergency shelter program as a cornerstone of the agency. FearIsNotLove has been working towards a single goal of creating freedom from domestic violence and abuse for everyone for the past 50years.

Domestic violence and abuse is a serious issue that affects individuals regardless of gender or sexuality. It is defined as any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behavior, violence, or abuse between individuals who are or have been intimate partners or family members. The abuser deliberately chooses to dominate, control, or harm the victim, who never asks or chooses to be abused.

The types of abuse include physical abuse, stalking or harassment, sexual violence, emotional/psychological abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, reproductive coercion, coercive control, and technology-facilitated violence. Shockingly, more than 4 in 10 women in Canada have experienced some form of domestic violence or abuse in their lifetime. In Canada, a woman is killed by a partner or former partner every six days. In Alberta, 74% of people know someone in their close network who is impacted by domestic violence, and one in two women in Alberta will experience domestic or sexual violence in their lifetime.

Domestic violence and abuse impacts people of all genders, ages, socioeconomic, racial, ethnic, cultural, religious, and educational backgrounds. Women account for the vast majority of victims – rates vary given the lack of public disclosure and reporting for this very serious issue.

Domestic violence and abuse also impacts many children. Even if they do not directly experience the abuse, witnessing this abuse impacts them as if they were directly the target.

So – why should it matter to all of us? This issue is a PUBLIC CONCERN, and it IMPACTS US ALL!

Every mass casualty report in Canada for the past 15 years has named domestic violence as a contributing factor to those mass murders. Victims of these tragedies include first responders, community members, extended family as well as partners or former partners.

Effectively addressing domestic violence is essential to not only increasing safety in families but safety in the broader community as well.

One of the most impactful things we can do is become a great social responder. The greatest weapon we have against domestic violence and abuse is each other – our community. No agency or organization alone will stop this tide – it will take all of us. Most victims and people who use violence will disclose their concerns to a friend or family member first before they ever call an agency. It is critical that our community members learn how to be great listeners. There are three key steps you can use to build your capacity to support victims and those who use violence in your community.

Recognize Respond Refer

Recognize:

· Become familiar with the issue and educate yourselfonthesignsof violence. Take a course on understanding domestic violence.

· Ensure your workplace has domestic violence policies thatsupport victims. Respond:

· Leanintolistening.

· Providing encouraging and non-judgemental responses will encourage help seeking behaviour.

Refer:

· You don’t have to have all the answers. You can refer people to the 24 hour Connect Family Violence Crisis Line at 403-234-SAFE. This line can answer questions you may have or support people needing services.

It is time to take a stand against domestic violence and abuse. FearIsNotLove is committed to creating a safe and supportive community for everyone impacted by domestic violence and abuse. Join us in our mission to create freedom from domestic violence and abuseforall.