SHIFT HAPPENS

SHIFT HAPPENS Are You Experiencing Imposter Syndrome?

ANDREA WAGEMAKER

FIRST OF ALL, what is Imposter Syndrome? Impostor syndrome is a deep seeded belief that refers to an internal experience of the feelings that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.

Simply put it is the experience of feeling like phony or fake, you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud like you don't belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck or a fluke. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise.

Impostor syndrome and social anxiety can overlap. A person with social anxiety disorder (SAD) may feel as though they don't belong in social or high achievement situations

To get past impostor syndrome, you need to start working inside and start asking yourself some honest questions. To move past these feelings, you need to become comfortable confronting some of those deeply ingrained beliefs you hold about yourself. This exercise can be hard because you might not even realize that you hold them, but ask yourself: • What core beliefs do I hold about myself? • What do I see when I look in the mirror? • Am I worthy of love and happiness in my life? • Do I need to feel perfect for others to approve of me?

Characteristics of Imposter Syndrome

Some of the common signs or feelings of imposter syndrome include: • An inability to realistically assess your competence and skills • Attributing your success to external factors • Fear that you won't live up to expectations • Overachieving to make up for your belief of being a fraud

• Self-Sabotaging your success • Self-doubt • Setting very challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall short

Assess your abilities. You may have deep seeded beliefs about your inability in social and performance situations, make a realistic assessment of your abilities. Write down your accomplishments and what you are good at, and compare that with your self-assessment.

Question your thoughts. As you start to assess your abilities question whether your thoughts are rational. Does it make sense to believe that you are a fraud, given everything that you know?

Stop comparing or Judging. Every time you compare

yourself or judge yourself to others in a social situation, you will find some fault with yourself that fuels the feeling of not being good enough or not belonging. Instead, during conversations, focus on listening to what the other person is saying. Be genuinely interested in learning more.

Interactive communication between two or more people. The development of conversational skills and etiquette is an important part of socialization.

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Use social media moderately. We know that the overuse

of social media may be related to feelings of inferiority. If you try to portray an image on social media that doesn't match who you really are or that is impossible to achieve, it will only make your feelings of being a fraud worse.

Stop fighting your feelings. Don't fight the feelings of not belonging. Instead, try to lean into them and accept them. It's only when you acknowledge them that you can start to unravel those core beliefs. There are many factors that may play a part in imposter syndrome including new roles, family upbringing, personality traits, and social anxiety.

So how do you start changing your thoughts if you are you own worst enemy? It’s an inside job for sure. Working with a Clinical Hypnotherapist and the magic of Lucia Light begins your personal journey in just one visit. Taking a leap and moving forward is the beginning of change. Imagine changing negative thought patterns, taking control and feeling impowered about your future and finally putting the past behind you and moving forward into a life that truly serves you. A freelance writer and an editor devoted to thoughtful analysis of your work. I o er full range of editing services for fiction and non-fiction, from novels and short stories to feature articles. More at daveflawse.com

Andrea Wagemaker • Shift Happens & Lucia Light in Courtenay www.ShiftHypnotherapy.ca • 250-338-3401