I HAD TWO SMALL CHILDREN. I WANTED TO LIVE & SEE THEM GROW UP

By 2009, the Zielinski's wanted to live closer to family and moved back to St. Paul. When their son was ready to go into kindergarten, they decided to move back to Moorhead. "The week before we moved," Zielinski said, "I felt a lump in my breast. That same week, I learned that my aunt was dying from breast cancer. She passed away a few months later. I was in denial about the possibility that I might have breast cancer. I didn't go see anyone in the medical field. But then in July, I decided, for peace of mind, to go see a doctor. I dreaded they would find something, and sure enough, the doctor found two distinct masses. I was scheduled for my first mammogram and ultrasound tests and was referred to the breast clinic at Sanford. They did more tests and I was told to expect the results by Monday."

Zielinski was out at the lake when she got the call. "It was on Monday July 30, around noon," Zielinski said. "We were walking up the steps when the phone rang. I couldn't believe it. Invasive Carcinoma. It just didn't sink in." Zielinski decided that she wanted to treat her cancer aggressively. "I had two small children. I wanted to live and see them grow up. So, I had four treatments of chemo, three surgeries, twelve more weeks of chemo, and finally thirty-three days of radiation."

Zielinski said, "I thought I could still work while I had treatments, so I went to a job interview. I had lost my hair, but I put on my wig and tried to put on my best face. I was a little foggy and not confident in my own skin. I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered who that was looking back at me. I had nine months of treatment still to go and there were surgeries ahead. I wouldn't have hired me." Zielinski changed her mind about working and spent much of 2013 taking extra time for recovery and to be with family and friends.

Zielinski joined the Breast Friends support group that meets the first Wednesday of every month at the Moorhead Library. "I met these very strong, supportive women. Being faced with your own mortality doesn't go away. Some people just don't know how to talk to you or respond to you. The group was wonderful!"

Zielinski was astounded by her home town support –raising thousands of dollars to help her cover medical costs. "They hosted a silent auction during a winter storm in February. I can't thank the community and those who provided auction items enough. Throughout my cancer journey there were so many small random acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that kept me going: gifts, cards, packages, and texts."

On May 24, 2013, Zielinski finished her treatments and was ready to find a place in the FM area to contribute and go back to work. She was told there was a job opening at Make-A-Wish. "I just loved the idea and applied and was selected. There is the reason why I had to experience my own life-threatening illness. It created greater empathy in me for children and their families going through illness. I want to give them hope, strength and joy. I'm so thankful that I get to do what I do."

As President and CEO of Make-A-Wish North Dakota, Zielinski overseas programming, operations and fundraising. A child with a life-threatening medical condition, between the ages of two-and-ahalf and eighteen, is potentially eligible for a wish. Most wish requests fall into five major categories: I wish to go, to be, to meet, to have, or to give.

Make-A-Wish began in 1980 when a boy named Chris, sick with leukemia, yearned to be a police officer. Through the kindness of friends and local police officers, Chris's dreams came true and he was given a tour, badge, uniform and hat, and became Arizona's first and only honorary DPS Officer. Chris was presented with his motorcycle officer's wings, and the next day, he passed away. Chris was seven years old. As Chris's story spread, interest in a wish-granting organization grew. In November of

CHILDREN ARE MORE APT TO ADHERE TO TREATMENT PROTOCOLS WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO WORK TOWARDS.

1980, Make-A-Wish became an official non-profit nationwide organization.

"It's been more than 30 years since my son Chris received his wish, and I am still amazed and inspired how one little boy's dream to be a policeman has touched the lives of so many thousands of people." — Linda Pauling, mother of Chris, the boy whose wish inspired the founding of Make-A-Wish.

Make-A-Wish North Dakota was founded in 1985 and is celebrating its 30th anniversary. Donors come from all walks of life. Some are people who know and love children dealing with various illnesses. Others say they've had healthy children and can't imagine what families dealing with heartbreaking illnesses are going though and they want to lend a helping hand.

During the fiscal year 2014, the North Dakota chapter granted thirty-nine wishes to kids across the state. "The biggest misconception about Make-A-Wish," Zielinski said, "is that people think it is only for children who are terminally ill. This is not true. A lot of wish children go on to live healthy, happy lives."

The referral process can be initiated by potential wish kids themselves, medical professionals, parents, legal guardians and family members with detailed knowledge of the child's current medical condition.

About half of all referrals come from parents. "We've had parents tell us that when someone comes and talks to them about Make-A-Wish they equated it with thinking their child is not going to live. I want people to understand that a child does not need to be terminally ill to be considered for a wish. An illness can be degenerative or malignant and may place the child’s life in jeopardy."

Make-A-Wish can actually be a part of the child's recovery. The statistics and data point to the fact that a wish can be a real turning point in a child's illness recovery. "Children are more apt to adhere to treatment protocols when they have something to work towards," Zielinski said. "They often need to become stronger or healthier to experience their wish. It gives them something to hope for and to work toward. Optimism is a powerful tool. Everyone wants something to look forward to. We believe that a wish experience can be a gamechanger. This one belief guides us. It inspires us to grant wishes that change the lives of the kids we serve."

"One of the things I learned having breast cancer, is that it's not just me that got cancer. It's hard on my kids and my husband, too," Zielinski said. "Being in this job, able to grant wishes to children, I know that it is not just the children that benefit. It helps the whole family. It builds good memories for the parents and the siblings, too."

Zielinski said she's also learned how resilient kids can be. "My kids wear the pink ribbons and know what it stands for. We didn't say, 'Mommy's sick.' We talked about me having breast cancer. I didn't want them to think that cancer was something they could catch."

"My husband and I have been married 18 years. When you're married, you go through phases. Cancer is another part of our journey," Zielinski said. "I couldn't have done this without Marc. In some ways it's an individual journey that your partner isn't able to understand. In other ways, it's a journey that you need to walk through together. It can test one’s resolve. My body changed and so did my mind. I see my scars every day. I tell women to check themselves for lumps. It's something they can do themselves. I am a survivor. Every three months I go for routine appointments. I will be on medication for at least five years."

"My cancerversary was on July 30," Zielinski said. "I was diagnosed two years ago. I have been both challenged and strengthened by my cancer. I am generally positive. But there are low points, and you don't know why, you can't explain it. You want to live. I have so much living to do. The fear that you might not be able to see your child graduate is very real. Mortality makes you look back, look at what your life has been. You start to live in your past. I've been there."

But Zielinski also knows the power of hope, both for herself and for the children she works with at Make-A-Wish. "And now, after two years," she adds with a deep smile, "I'm finally allowing myself to dream again. I'm allowing myself to look forward."

[AWM]