HOW DO I BECOME A more confident woman?

when I was a little girl I wanted to grow up to be a confident woman.

Naturally, I looked to the women around me to find examples of what confidence meant. Before long I had some lofty goals.

First of all, I needed to wear fancy socks. My best friend’s mom always wore beautiful trouser socks. My socks came in a plastic bag. If I was going to be a confident woman, I needed to invest in fancy socks.

Second, I had to be quiet and calm like my mother. She didn’t raise her voice very often and was cool under pressure. I was the opposite of quiet. I was artistic and emotional. That would have to change if I wanted to be a confident woman.

Finally, I needed to be pretty. I saw beautiful women all around me, and they seemed like the most confident women I knew. I was sure I needed to be beautiful to be confident.

Oh, goodness! I was convinced confidence was within my grasp if I was pretty, calm, quiet and wore beautiful socks. Now at the ripe old age of 36, I know better. Here is what I’ve learned.

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RAYCHEL CHUMLEY is funny, wise and tells it like it is. She is a gifted teacher who helps women recognize and change unhealthy behaviors in unique ways. She is a speaker, author, certified life coach and president of Big Blue Couch Coaching. Raychel rocks the mom life in North Dakota with her three children and her fur baby, Bela.

A Confident Woman Is Authentic

It turns out you don’t need to wear fancy socks to prove you have your life together. A confident woman is genuine and sincere. She doesn't surrender to perfectionism, but works with excellence in everything she does. Authenticity speaks volumes.

A Confident Woman Speaks Her Mind

I’ve learned you can be assertive and calm at the same time. A confident woman tells the truth, embraces her creativity and speaks her mind. She learns how to speak up for herself and others when the time is right. Confidence can't be quiet in the face of injustice.

A Confident Woman Lets It Go

Audrey Hepburn said, “The happiest girls are the prettiest girls.” A confident woman learns to let things go. Bitterness makes for ugliness inside and out. Confident women forgive what needs to be forgiven and get over the things they cannot change. This is what makes them prettier.

I’ve learned so much about confidence in the past decade. I chuckle now when I look back at my childish ideals. Clearly, confidence and outward beauty went hand-in-hand back then. Thankfully, that is not the truth! What really makes you confident is what is on the inside, however cliché it sounds. Practice being authentic, speaking your mind, and letting things go. You will become a more confident woman.

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