care for the caregiver

When caregivers begin to experience compassion fatigue, it creates a sense of guilt for not being able to do everything for their loved one.

Wendy Tabor-Buth, a volunteer coordinator and licensed social worker with Ethos Home Care and Hospice in Fargo, says for caregivers, admitting they have needs while caring for someone who has a much greater need often causes additional stress and strain.

“Many caregivers feel a tug of war with the heart,” she says. “There may be an element of guilt on the part of the caregiver as they maintain their health while watching their loved one’s quality of health decline. They may also experience grief over the loss of the life they planned together which may not come to fruition, while also becoming aware that as a caregiver, they have needs too.”

By definition, compassion fatigue, or caregiver burnout, is the emotional and physical strain of caring for a loved one — but in reality, it is so much more.

While the person who is ill is dealing with many emotions over their loss of health, their loved ones are dealing with similar feelings as they come to grips with a different future than they had planned. Caregivers often feel isolated, as their normal social activities outside the home become limited and they begin to focus solely on the person for whom they are caring.

Along with the feelings of isolation, learning to manage a new routine and details related to the medical appointments, medication management, making meals, household tasks and financial concerns while dealing with interrupted sleep and physical strain can create the tendency for personal neglect. The myriad of changes that occur during health crisis can cause undue strain and fatigue, shrinking the world of the caregiver even further.

“Caregivers often think, ‘I’m the only one who can do this for my husband, wife or other loved one,’” Tabor-Buth says. “The truth is that there are often many other people and options to provide support for both the patient and the caregiver.”

Health care staff recognize the importance of managing stress and take care to check the caregiver for:

• High levels of anxiety or panic attacks

• Loss of sleep and appetite

• Extreme fatigue

• Feelings of depression

• Mood changes or irritability

• Headaches

• Upset stomach

• General discomfort with no obvious cause

While these are all signs of caregiver fatigue and burnout, there are many resources available to provide care for patients while providing a better balance for caregivers.

As with anything, communication is key — especially letting people know how they can help. Often there are other family members, neighbors and church or community members outside of the situation who are wondering what they can do to help. The team at Ethos Home Care and Hospice works with caregivers to connect with those individuals as well as offering respite care both inside and outside of the home.

“Just as grief shared is grief divided, we know that stress shared is stress divided,” Tabor-Buth says. "The smallest change can help and the difference we see is incredible. We see the caregiver become more empowered, brighter and more hopeful when they realize they're not alone."

Things like personal tasks, meal preparation and light housework can be performed by a home care agency or homemaker services. Physical and personal care can also be taken on by nursing care from a home care agency — giving the caregiver time to socialize with friends, get a good night's sleep and rejuvenate.

There are many local resources that can provide caregiver support and assistance and caregivers are encouraged to ask their healthcare provider for options.

When those providing care receive the support they need, they are better able to support their loved one and protect their own health and well-being.

“The worst scenario is when the caregiver’s health is compromised and they are unable to care for their loved one,” Tabor-Buth says. “Reaching out for and accepting help is a sign of strength — not a sign of weakness.”

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT how Ethos Home Care and Hospice can assist you and/or your loved one, please visit ethoscare.org or call 701-356-3803.

Home Care & Hospice