FROM BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN to world changer

Rosa Strubbe has turned her daughter’s survival story into a movement for change. The #IstandwithNatalee movement began in response to a video Strubbe shared on Facebook telling her daughter Natalee’s story and calling for change in the justice system.

Two years ago, Rosa and Ryan Strubbe found out that four-year-old Natalee had been raped three times by their friends’ 13-year-old son.

“I was devastated and I was angry. I felt like I was a complete failure because I should have been able to protect her from this,” says Strubbe.

As soon as Natalee told her what happened, Strubbe reported the incident to the police, and Natalee went through a forensic interview at the Red River

WORDS : MEGAN ELGIN

PHOTOGRAPHY : ALICIA MARIE PHOTOGRAPHY

Children’s Advocacy Center. Four months later, the offender was sentenced to one year of probation and outpatient therapy. Strubbe felt the justice system had let them down.

“I realized I couldn’t be the only parent who experienced this, who went through these emotions,” Strubbe says. “Anger fueled me. It gave me a backbone so I could push for change.”

She used that backbone to push for Natalee’s Law, a bill advocating for change in the North Dakota juvenile court system, which includes allowing parents of the victim access to court information as long as they do not share it, and stiffer sentencing for offenders. With the support of Representative Ben Koppelman, the bill passed unanimously in both the House and Senate, was signed by Governor Burgum and became active in August 2019. Strubbe recalls, “The day we found out Natalee’s Law passed unanimously I cried uncontrollably, because another family wasn’t going to have to jump the hurdles we did.”

Strubbe hasn’t stopped there. She believes North Dakota still needs a treatment program for juvenile sex offenders. “Research shows how successful treatment can be if they are treated before they become adults. They can actually rewire their brains. We are doing a disservice to our juvenile offenders by not offering them a program that has been proven to work, not just in the short term but the long term as well.”

She continues to work for change as an instructor with Stand to Protect, a nonprofit organization that aims to educate the community to prevent child sexual abuse. One in ten children are estimated to experience sexual abuse before the age of 18, but less than half of those children come forward. They are scared or ashamed, the abuser has told them to keep it a secret, or they don’t think an adult will believe them.

“Our goal is to teach caregivers and other adults not just to recognize signs, but to actually report it. Even if it’s just a bad feeling, report it,” insists Strubbe. “These kids are never going to heal if you don’t believe them.”

Strubbe urges parents to build an open relationship with their children. Make sure children feel comfortable talking with their parents about difficult subjects and know they can come forward if something does happen. “We’re talking to our children more about this and other subjects that are hard to talk about. Our family has changed and we’re stronger than ever because of this.”

Above all, Strubbe reminds parents to try not to react if their children do come forward. “Children Natalee’s age don’t typically come forward. Like an adult victim, they blame themselves. If the parents react negatively, they turn those emotions onto themselves.” Strubbe reassures, “No matter what mountain you’ve gotten through, you’re going to come out on the other side. You’re going to be OK and your little one is going to come out stronger than you ever gave them credit for.”

Today, six-year-old Natalee sees herself as a world changer. “She’s not a victim, she's a survivor. She’s beautifully broken and mended.” And when asked who is brave and strong, Natalee proudly replies, “I am, Mom!”

If you, your child or someone you know might be a victim of abuse, call 2-1-1 or contact the Rape & Abuse Crisis Center at 701-293-7273 or raccfm.com.