selfless love MY ADOPTION STORY

Hello!

My name is Hannah Herzog. I am 23 years old, and I live in Osakis, Minnesota. I have been married to my wonderful husband for two years. I met my husband through an on-campus ministry called Chi Alpha on the campuses of NDSU and MSUM. I grew up in a small town on a dairy farm — I am convinced I had the best childhood.

I was adopted into a Christian family ten days after I was born. I have two older sisters who are also adopted. I was adopted through Christian Adoption Services (formally known as Christian Family Life Services) of Fargo. For me, being adopted was just another piece of who I am like how my hair is blond and my eyes are blue. It was a very known fact to all my friends and family that myself and my two sisters were all adopted. We are all adopted from different families. To me, being adopted was an exciting thing to tell others as they were always curious to know more.

I always knew I was adopted. I cannot tell you an exact time when my parents told me. I just have always known. This is one of the best gifts you can give your child. Total transparency on the fact that they are adopted. I have experienced when people have been told later in life that they are adopted, and this is the time that confusion can happen. Growing up, I did not know a lot about my birth family. I did not have a strong desire to ask a lot of questions. My parents were open with us asking questions if we did have them, but I really didn’t start wondering about them until I was quite a bit older (in high school). Every adoptee is different in wondering about their biological family. Myself and my two sisters are all different in the questioning we have about our biological family. Every adoption story has its own unique way and there is no “right” way that a story must go.

I think a typical stereotype of adoptees is that they think they are unwanted or unloved because they were placed for adoption. I believe the exact opposite. I am loved double by my biological family and the family that adopted me. To me, it brings tears to my eyes knowing a family prayed for me to join their family and another family prayed that I would be given the best life possible. I am loved by a family that opened their arms, hearts and home to call me their own child. I am also loved by a family that gave me the gift of life and was willing to put their own desires aside to give me the best life that they thought they could.

Recently, a few years back, I had the opportunity to meet my biological father. This does not happen for every adoptee. I have many friends and family members that are adopted that have not had this opportunity. Every story is unique and beautiful in how the Lord has designed it. I was able to meet my biological father with my dad and mom when I was 18 years old. It was a time filled with tears, peace, questions and answers. My birth father had felt guilt and fear towards my reaction and thoughts about him for the last 18 years. He thought I would be angry and “hate” him for letting me go. But the only feelings I have ever felt towards him was total love and gratitude. He was one of the reasons that I am here — alive and breathing! That is a gift that I will never take for granted.

He said the following about meeting me:

“The day I saw her walking towards me with a huge smile, I was prepared to bawl like a little child. Instead, we hugged and 18 years of the worst feelings I have been carrying about me disappeared. Having her say she never even had one thought of hate or anything negative towards me, only one word came to mind: forgiveness. That day saved me for the rest of my life. Hannah’s mother has given me countless pictures and stories of Hannah growing up. I cannot thank them enough for how they have welcomed me into their lives.”

Over the past few years, I have begun to develop a deep desire to tell my story on how beautiful adoption can be. Is it always easy? No. Is it worth it? 100%. My greatest wish for birthparents is to have them know and understand the beauty of giving their child life. I will forever be grateful that I was given the opportunity to live life and live it to the fullest. Birthparents are some of the greatest examples of the selfless love of another. They are willing to go through pain, heartbreak and carrying a child for nine months to place this beautiful child in the arms of another. Who knows how this child will impact the world?

My greatest wish for adoptive parents is for them to know that they are their child’s parents. These are some of my favorite people in the world because I have seen firsthand how they will do anything to bring a sweet babe into their family. They are willing to go through the waiting, financial strain, and anything else to bring a precious life into their family. Keep loving these beautiful children — this is how the world will be changed by your love.

I am going to give you a poem that I believe sums up beautifully the way that adoption is a gift to all involved: the birth family, parents and adoptee.

A Legacy of Two Mothers: UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Once there were two women who never knew each other. One, my darling, is your birth mom and the other is your mother. Two different lives, shaped to make yours one. One became your guiding star; the other became your sun. The first gave you life, and the second taught you to live it. The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it. One gave you a nationality; the other gave you a name. One gave you the seed of talent, the other gave you aim. One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears. One chose adoption. It was all she could do. The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you. And now you ask me through your tears, the age-old question through the years; heredity or environment, which are you the product of?

Neither, my darling, neither. Just two different kinds of love.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Adoption. What a beautiful gift. I have experienced selfless love throughout my entire life by two families. Two families that gave all they could to give me the best life that they possibly could give. One family who was praying countless prayers for a baby and the other who prayed countless prayers that I would be placed in another’s loving arms. I really believe adoptive and biological parents are some of the strongest, most loving people in the world. They love without limit and love through tears, pain and pure joy. What a blessing it is to be loved by so many people — those who get to watch me grow up and by those who may never know my name. There is no other love quite like it besides the love that Jesus shows us.

Love, Hannah Herzog

1 CORINTHIANS 16:14