JOSEPHINE DOWSWELL Venue Deputy Editor I’m going to go for a bit of verbal visual humour here. A risky move I know, but I want you to bear with me. First off, I’d like you to turn to page 7. See the picture there? That’s a rabbit vibrator. They cost, like, 30 quid. Drink it in for a sec. Now, I’d like you to hold that picture in your mind, as you recall that well-known scene in the film Captain Phillips (2013), where the lead pirate, played by Barkhad Abdi, is threatening Tom Hanks. Still have the vibrator at the front of your mind? Ok. ‘Look at me. I am the editor now.’ Where was I? Welcome to Issue 361 of Venue! This fortnight’s paper is home to Concrete’s lovely annual sex survey, where all the ins and outs (tee hee!) of UEA’s sordid private lives are compiled into digestible data for us to voyeur over. Following this theme, Venue’s writers have brought together some real steamy content, from writing about the body well (page 27), and badly (page 4), to sex representation in video games (page 20). Enjoy, and here’s to UEA getting some brighter weather as term goes on, touch wood (tee hee)!
Johanne Elster Hanson
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Shelby Cooke
Gabriela Williams
Rabbit: Fay Austen Icons: Vecteezy
Nick Mason
Jordan Hunniset
Jodie Bailey
Rebecca McDonnell
The Bad Sex in Fiction Award Every year since 1993, Literary Review has presented the Bad Sex in Fiction Award for the worst depiction of sex in a novel in an effort to draw attention to needless and tasteless sex in novels and – hopefully – discourage it. This year’s shortlist included the usual mix of awful metaphors and horrifically inaccurate biology that followers of the award have come to expect. For anyone interested, shortlisted sections can be found online at nothingintherulebook.com, and they are a brilliant novelty read. While some recipients of the award are somewhat offended by their inclusion on the list, many take it as an incredible compliment, with Julian Gough (Connect) calling it a ‘huge honour’ to be included on the shortlist this year, especially when considering Nobel Prize contender Haruki Murakami (Killing Commendatore) was also on the list. Other shortlisted contenders were Luke Tredget (Kismet), William Wall (Grace’s Day), Gerard Woodward (The Paper Lovers), and ‘Major Victor Cornwall and Major Arthur St John Trevelyan’ who wrote the spoof autobiography Scoundrels: The Hunt for Hansclapp. But the winner of the award this year was James Frey for his novel Katerina which judges described as akin to ‘wish fulfilment’ in reference to its robotic description of a sexual encounter. Like Murakami’s Killing Commendatore, it also features frequent, overzealous references to ejaculation, mentioning it eight times in a single one-page passage. Following this male-centric theme, many have expressed a concern that the shortlist this year has comprised only of male writers, and indeed when you look back, only three women have won the award in its 25 year history. While Literary Review has not ‘officially’ stated that they feel that women write better sex scenes than men, they have pointed out that men are the ‘prime offenders’ of this year in particular, and that there were wom
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“…Overwhelming exploding white God I cum.” - James Frey, Katerina (WINNER)
“…Semen poured from me, overflowing her vagina…” - Haruki Murakami, Killing Commendatore
“…the specific local sensation of his penis sliding inside her…” - Julian Gough, Connect
en included in the longlist, which isn’t published. Perhaps women do generally write better sex scenes, or perhaps just ones that appeal more to a collective panel, but whatever the reason for the lack of female representation, it’s difficult not to appreciate the sheer atrocity of these quotations, which admittedly aren’t as awful out of context. Perhaps the more important concern regarding the awards is the privilege that lies behind the publication of a book which includes passages that are so painstakingly bad. While we are slowly seeing an increase in well-written, diverse literature, this award is still creating the space for writing like this to exist. It may have been created to discourage badly written sex, but that does not mean that the amount of bad writing has decreased, and we see time and time again that it is the same privileged men that are writing it. Maybe the Bad Sex Award has done its time as a warning to others and has become yet another commodity that publishers can use to sell books that we never needed or asked for. As much as I enjoy laughing at the absurdity, the status these men achieve through this writing is almost frightening and I do genuinely believe that it has to end.
“Her virginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves…” - “Majors Cornwall and Trevelyan”, Scoundrels
Abi Steer
Review: I Would Like to Get to Know You With just two performers, a guitar and a bit of multimedia thrown into the mix, this keenly observed show explores dating, relationships and love in the contemporary world. It’s apparent that the days of courting – at least in the traditional sense – are long gone. Setting the tone of the play rather aptly is a cabaret-style Tinder the musical scene. It’s a rendition of Gloria Gaynor’s I will survive, with ridiculous lyrics that range from unwanted dick pics, to the utterly unimaginative first line ‘Hey’, and the depressing realisation that you’ve been swiping for so long that you’ve actually managed to run out of new people in your area. And if you’re really lucky, you could even progress to an actual physical date. Or perhaps unlucky, as they re-enact the cringe-filled evenings spent downing drinks, no longer even able to make pitiful small-talk. The show is at its best when it uses its wit and satire to demonstrate some of the utterly painful repercussions in a world where so much of our interactions are virtual. A particular stand-out was the Dating PA scene, featuring a personal assistant who explains terms like ‘ghosting’ and ‘haunting’; words that have become all too prevalent in our day to day vocabulary. Yes, there is a whole new language and code for dating now, invented due to people’s total lack of ability to communicate their feelings. And as one of the verbatim recordings points out, dating feels like ‘life admin’ now, with
many of us talking to up to five potential partners at a time, desperately doing whatever we can to hold a conversation together which we know deep down won’t lead anywhere. It’s no wonder ghosting has become so popular. But it’s not all doom and gloom. You may be single and feel like you need to find ‘the one’ ASAP before the clock runs out of ticks, but despite the be-all and end-all that finding love in our society is made out to be this show is a reminder to try and forget those pressures. We may find love, and that’s fine. And we may not, and that’s also fine. And what does it matter whether you find conventional romance, or discover that you actually have intense feelings towards your vibrator? Yes, there is a brilliant piece of film footage that depicts how this is very much possible. From the humorous, to the heart-felt and the downright questionable, whatever your opinions are on modern dating, I would like to get to know you certainly doesn’t shy away from the realities of that world, making for an amusing, engaging and relatable performance.
Image: Flickr.com
Ella Dorman-Gajic
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Concrete book review:
Kissing the Witch by Emma Donoghue Kissing the Witch: Old Tales In New Skins used the premise of remade fairy-tales long before Kristen Stewart or Emma Watson had even dipped their toes into this trope on the big screen. Donoghue’s feminist retellings of fairy tales is now no longer as original as it would have been in 1993, but the power of her lyrical prose distinguishes the collection of short stories, remaining relevant over 20 years after publication, especially when bringing to the surface the theme of sexual violence. Kissing The Witch invites the reader to follow Donoghue’s Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb trail of stories, interconnecting each one by having the central character ask a secondary character for their tale; blurring the traditional lines of good and evil. The blurb promises ‘luminous’ voices from the heroines, and with haunting prose Donoghue establishes a magical journey it is difficult not to want to join - a world where Cinderella does not run away with the prince (but the Fairy Godmother!), princesses can be spoilt, and typical antagonists get a chance to be heard. Each heroine takes charge of her own narrative, for better or worse, and whilst Donoghue’s poetic narration and playful, almost tongue-in-cheek reimaginations are immediately appealing, the repetition of some of the stories can become somewhat frustrating. The concise first-person tales flow fluidly (sometimes better lyrically than logically) from one to the other, but at times 13 tales seems too many. Some characters get left behind in the more atmospheric and popular tales of Beauty and the Beast or the Little Mermaid. The collection does succeed in what it aims to do, which is to make fairy-tales more accessible to the LGBTQ+ community, finally give fairy-tale women some agency, and read both easily and beautifully. Donoghue attempts to make each female an individual but also understandable, and it is in this attempt to make every character amiable and likeable to the audience that means some may get forgotten. However, the tales that are memorable are both enchanting and haunting. The Tale of the Skin explores a princess whose father, the king, goes mad after his wife’s death and mistakes the princess for his dead wife. The staff then encourages the princess to continue the fake relationship at no thought for her state of mind, nor of her body. Donoghue’s writing is what makes the piece, enabling the reader to be swept along in the princess’ horror and guilt, rooting for her to be saved by the prince almost subconsciously until we realise that, of course, the prince is not so ‘charming’ as in a traditional tale. This brings up another gripe of Kissing the Witch: if we criticise fairy tales that are in need of updating because of old-fashioned stereotypes and gender inequality, then Donoghue’s approach is as flawed. The stories are entertaining reads that definitely empower women, but hardly any of the male characters are portrayed as decent human beings. Perhaps this is intentional by Donoghue, but it would make for a better read if there more diversity of characters in the stories overall. The Tale of the Kiss ends the collection, and thus will end this review, for it is the story that I believe will stay with readers the most. It gets the best of Donoghue’s haunting poeticism, as well as a wickedly enticing character, and ends asking the reader as to what they will do next as if they are the next character in the story. It is this clever self-awareness and the author’s writing skill, rather than the plot, which make this collection of short stories a glittering, poignant piece of literature. Easy to read, and easy to love.
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Image: Wikimedia.org
Chloe Johnson
A FINE SEX SHOP Norwich’s beautiful side streets and lanes are famous for their independent, interesting shops, but one of the more titillating and lesser known amongst them is ‘Sin Sins Boutique of Love’ on St Benedict’s street. Located between the Platform 12 bar and Norwich Art Supplies, it blends in perfectly as a steady part of the high street. It’s cosy interior almost does the same: wooden floorboards, fairy lights, and shabby-chic dressers and shelves. It’s like the way your primary school friend’s mum redecorated her living room to bring some class and style back into her child-riddled life - but instead of a ‘live laugh love’ poster, drink coasters and a TV remote, every surface is covered in sex toys. There are Kama Sutra books on the shelves, dildos elegantly lined up, and pretty bowls full of nipple clamps. ‘Boutique of Love’ indeed: Sin Sins is a purveyor of filth, a den of harlotry and decadence!
sex as something fun, normalised and open to experimentation, all without losing its verve and thrill.
But in keeping with Norwich’s charming, ‘fine city’ status, the couple that runs Sin Sins - the purveyors of filth in question - are frequently delightful, laid back and accommodating. They answer questions, show you around, and tell you anecdotes. Once I was told, clutching my pearls appropriately, that a couple that day had come in to buy a sex swing; upon being offered to have it wrapped, they declined, stating that they wanted to carry it down the street for everyone to see. By God! With the friendly, casual atmosphere, this is no dodgy sex shop on the corner. That’s a wonderful thing the good ol’ sexual revolution has given us: should you so wish, you can nip to Sin Sins and nab whatever sex toy’s on your mind. For yourself, your partner, your friend’s birthday. It’s
women to own a vibrator, and you can even buy them in Boots Pharmacy, never mind in Sin Sins or an Ann Summers. That being said, nothing can ever be perfect, especially where women’s sexuality is concerned. This year, Lora DiCarlo’s Ose robotic vibrator - having previously won an innovation award and having patents pending for ‘robotics, biomimicry, and engineering feats’ (BBC) - was disqualified from the 2019 CES, an international technology show, with claims that the organisers had the right to disqualify entries deemed ‘immoral, obscene, indecent, profane’. But then you learn that in 2018, the CES showcased Harmony, the infamous RealDoll sex robot. At CES 2017, there was a room dedicated to ‘Naughty America VR’, a virtual reality porn system. CES happily caters to the technological titillation of the cis heterosexual man, whilst denying a platform to a women’s sex toy, no matter how innovative it may be. Sin Sins, meanwhile, stands in stark contrast to this hypocrisy. Bursting with sex toys suited for whatever genitalia you may possess, Sin Sins says that pleasure is for everyone, no matter their gender, experience and inclination. A far cry from the phallocentrism of sexy-CES. So head on over with your partner. Head on over with your pals. A part of being an adult is having to buy your own sex toys. Although, many friends have shared with me that you can buy handcuffs for a fraction of a price from Beaujangles, a fancy dress shop three minutes away. Other than that, it’s worth it.
We all know vibrators have, to an extent, been having their bit of a moment in the sun - it’s common for
Josephine Dowswell Image: Love Honey, Pixabay.
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Hollywood’s ageless sex It is fair to say that at some point in their lives, 99 percent of people will struggle with their perception of themselves and their bodies, particularly during a time when it is changing, such as adolescence. Our media is obsessed with looks, there are constant lists being created with titles like ‘Hollywood’s Best Bums’ or ‘This Week’s Sexiest Red-Carpet Looks’. When people are presented to us as simple images, it is very easy to assign them with a surface
Take Taylor Lautner for example, in 2009 when he was only 17, he appeared on Rolling Stone magazine’s cover in a wet, skin-tight t-shirt. This wasn’t a magazine aimed at his peers; this was a magazine aimed at an older adult audience, encouraging them to gaze upon and judge a teenager’s body. While interviewed at only 16, Lautner explained how weird it was to find out women had underwear with his name on, and at 18 he had to stop studios
value according to how ‘appealing’ they look, and nowadays it is very easy to publicly share your opinions. Consequently, it is easy to forget that these people being judged are real, they have vulnerabilities, and they have the right not to have to hear Terry, 38 from Hertfordshire’s opinion on how bad they look on one given day. This is hard enough to stomach when the picture in question is of an adult, but there is another more harmful layer added when the person being judged is a child.
Think back to when you were 14 and trying to figure out how to feel confident. Now imagine that instead of being worried about being judged by classmates and relatives, you have to worry about the possibility that millions of people around the world will judge you based solely on your appearance. If someone on the street were to go up to teenagers and yell, ‘that outfit makes you look too old’ or ‘give me a call in five years,’ they would probably be arrested. But
for some reason, it is deemed almost acceptable to comment this on child star’s pictures. What makes it worse is that the media industry doesn’t seem to find the trend concerning.
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Image: Summit Entertainment
and the Olsen twins being two prime examples). As a culture, we seem to have become desensitised to the idea of sexualising underage teens. Children are already vulnerable, but allowing those who have high visibility to be seen as sexual objects creates a twisted kind of societal grooming in which it almost becomes expected for stars to have at least one obsessed adult fan. In an article for Elle magazine, Mara Wilson, of Mrs Doubtfire and
Matilda fame, discusses the fact that at the age of 15 and years after she stopped acting, she was still getting perverted letters from grown men. But now with the advent of social media there is an even higher level of accessibility to these famous children. It’s worrying enough to see crude comments and messages sent to adult actors online, but it becomes even more threatening when the recipient is still growing up.
from making him go bare-chested for no good reason other than to peddle his image as a sex symbol. Rather than the mature adults around him taking action to stop him being overly sexualised, he had to take things into his own hands.
Multiple times over the years there have been disturbing countdowns created online for when child actors came of legal age (Emma Watson
Messages focused solely on looks would be damaging to anyone, but with the detachment that being behind a screen creates, it is easy to forget the reality of a teenage actor sat on set looking through their Twitter feed and seeing thousands of messages about them being either ‘ugly’ or ‘sexy’. There is a responsibility on those around young celebrities to do all they can not to purvey a sexualised view of them, but there is also a responsibility on us as an audience to focus on their work and not their looks.
Emily Taithe
Sexism and the male gaze The male gaze, a theory introduced Laura Mulvey in her essay Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema, is the idea that women in the media are perceived solely through eyes of a heterosexual man and are there as passive objects of male desire. This theory applies to films from any genre: from Disney’s princess movies to the Transformer series, female characters are portrayed in a sexual manner to satisfy the male viewer. While one can observe the male gaze at work through the female character’s reductive role in the movie, filming techniques are often also catered to the heterosexual male audience. Examples include close-up shots of women from over the male character’s shoulder or the camera taken on the viewpoint of a man who is actively observing a passive woman. However, women are no longer accepting that the male gaze is the only way they can be represented in films. Women have had enough of being treated as sexual objects that are pleasing to the straight male eye; no more degrading scenes of Megan Fox bending sexily over a car engine in a deliberately low cut top or angles that focus in on body parts that please the heterosexual male. Since much of the male gaze is about sexualising women, one way in which directors are fighting back is to focus instead on the sexual desires of female characters, centring their experiences of sexuality and telling women’s story of sex and development.
15-year-old girl called Mia living on an East London council estate. The camera angle gives the audience the idea that they are seeing the world from her eyes through the use of point-of-view shots, intense closeups and moments of visceral realism. When her alcohol-loving mother’s latest sexual partner appears in the kitchen, the camera ogles at him, capturing Mia’s tentative glances; the camera focuses on his exposed body and almost ignores Mia’s relative nakedness. The film itself goes on to
explore female sexuality in an honest and unabashed way, making it part of a series of movies that allows women to retain their humanity and dignity even as they are portrayed in relation to sex. What’s even more interesting is when men are out of the picture altogether. In a recent film called The Feels, starring Constance Wu, the female orgasm is discussed at length through a series of interviews with its cast of female characters. The interviews are scattered throughout the film, which is actually about Lu (Angela Tr i m b u r ) a n d Andi’s
(Constance Wu) bachelorette party. The two women are about to get married, but Andi discovers that Lu has been faking her orgasms throughout their relationship. The two then talk about what went wrong and discuss Lu’s sexual needs. Lu and Andi’s relationship is not portrayed as inferior to a heterosexual one; in fact, despite them not solving the problem by the end of the film, the two women agree that sex is not an important enough aspect of their relationship to drive a wedge between them. They agree to find a solution later on and to enjoy the fact that they’re getting married. The film explores female sexuality without reducing women to just sexual beings. What is empowering about the movie is watching women discuss their sexuality in an articulate and intelligent manner, normalising female sexual desire through their answers in the interviews. The male gaze is still present in certain films today, but there are directors who are working to counter this. Portraying female sexuality is just one of the ways women are given a chance to escape from the toxic, conventional heterosexual male perspective in the media. Hopefully, as Hollywood wakes up to the rampant misogyny in its industry, the male gaze will no longer be around to oppress and reduce women to sexual objects.
Beverly Devakishen
One instance of this is Andrea Arnold’s Fish Tank, a movie about a
Image : Curzon Artifical Eye
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Porn: art or not? Pornography: it’s a presentation of sex most people will have come across at some point. The question is how this presentation differs from the wide array of sexual material found in popular culture – in particular, film. When films like Blue Is the Warmest Colour depict sex scenes that wouldn’t look out of place on a pornography site, the question is where do we draw the line between porn and art? But also how do we define art? Is there even a line between the two?
in terms of content and reaction – namely, arousal. For all its artistic qualities, out of context, the scene is just as arousing as porn, and therefore serves the same purpose so how does the context in which we view it make it more ‘respectable’ than pornographic material?
The use of porn is a private, indulgent experience that caters to desires very differently than the cultural taste that cinema creates. When we watch Blue Is the Warmest Colour, for example, we’re not supposed to see ‘hot lesbians.’ Instead, we are encouraged to see the contrast in connection - physically and emotionally - between this sexual encounter and Adèle’s previous heterosexual encounter with her boyfriend. The focus of the viewer, in the context of the cinematic medium through which we engage with it, is on what the actress’s facial expressions and intimate touches tell us about their character arcs and relationship.
easier to respond to the piece as art. However, most of the analysis I gave of Blue Is the Warmest Colour’s sex scene could still be elicited out of context; we can still see Lea Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos express the particular love and intimacy intended by the director, even if we don’t know the plot. So if the sex alone can be considered art because of the intimacy expressed, where does this leave porn? If we were to apply the same process to certain pornographic videos, the viewer could look past arousal to find a similar, if not quite as potent, response; porn often sets up intimacy and human connection between actors and actresses to enhance its sexual stimulation.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the scene is an overtly physical depiction of sex, with full nudity and a variety of positions. Even in the context of the film we’re watching and the way in which we’re engaging with it, there’s no avoiding the similarities with pornographic material, both
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The definition that I usually take of art is ‘work that expresses the human condition’. In cinema, this expression is at the front of the viewer’s mind as they watch the scene, making it
Where, then, is the line between porn and cinematic art? The main divider is that cinema intends to express human connection, whereas if we are to find this in porn, we have to look past the primary intention of
arousal. Some may define this as art, and personally, I wouldn’t rule that reading out if a piece additionally communicates a human connection. But, often, porn wants no response beyond stimulation. Additionally, there are unavoidable concerns about the abusive and patriarchal nature of the porn industry which, contrary to Leggett’s thoughts, I believe can’t be overlooked in considering the artistic merits of porn. Sex scenes taking place in film or
porn, therefore, can potentially elicit responses of arousal or connection. Film intends expression, porn intends arousal. But both mediums unavoidably elicit both responses. It is therefore up to the viewer if a depiction of sex is art. Art is a two-way process between artist and viewer: the viewer has to convert the artistic message into a response, and if the viewer looks for how it is portraying the human condition, it will inevitably be more ‘artistic’ than if they choose to simply be aroused. Whilst this leans things in favour of cinema, it is not to say that there is no art in porn; but it can only be found if the viewer looks beyond the sexual stimulation that defines the medium. This secondary importance, in my mind, leans porn away from art.
Ryan Norman
Image: Katie Salerno
Jameela Jamil shames Avon for dimples advert ‘Dimples are cute on your face (not on your thighs)’. This was the thoughtless and, frankly, unbelievable slogan used by beauty company Avon in their most recent marketing campaign. Unsurprisingly, it received instantaneous backlash, most notably from former UK television and radio presenter and current star of Netflix’s The Good Place, Jameela Jamil. As well as a talented actor, Jamil is also a passionate advocate for body positivity, gender and racial equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and mental
health awareness. Having struggled with an eating disorder herself, she regularly addresses the unrealistic and homogenous beauty standards that exist in today’s society, and in November 2018 she founded the Instagram page iWeigh: where people share unedited images of themselves, with a list of what makes them amazing. It was no surprise then when Jamil publically slated Avon online for ‘shaming women about age, gravity and cellulite’, contributing to women fearing what is perfectly
normal about their bodies. Avon responded by cancelling the ad and acknowledging that they ‘missed the mark with this messaging’. When it comes to tackling body shaming in the media Jamil means business. She openly criticises celebrities, including the Kardashians and Cardi B, who advertise fad weight-loss products like detox teas and appetite suppressing lollipops to their fans on their social media, the majority of whom are young and impressionable. Jamil is unapologetically direct in calling out these celebrities, once stating that she hoped celebrities endorsing detox teas ‘shit their pants in public, the way the poor women who buy up this nonsense upon their recommendation do’. Her concerns about damaging body ideals do not end here, and she often shares equally strong views regarding airbrushing and the use of Photoshop. Disturbed by the unobtainable visions of perfection that consumer industries have constructed and the impacts they
have on women’s mental health, Jamil believes that airbrushing should be illegal. Yet, although she has been heavily praised for her commitment to promoting body positivity - she refuses to pose for any airbrushed photos and recently became one of eight new Aerie Real Role Models - not everyone in the comments section agrees that it ought to be illegal. But would it be so bad if airbrushing was banned? Yes, celebrities have the right to edit their own photos freely, but what about the fact that, in the UK, eating disorders are one of the
leading mental health issues in young people and 90 percent of women experience body image related anxiety? We are continuously made to feel inadequate about our looks, be it our shape, size, age, or skin tone and if cellulite and thigh dimples are routinely airbrushed out of images, it is only natural that we see normal parts of our bodies such as these as flaws. There is so much pressure to fit within a confined standard of beauty and because most of us do not fit this bracket for one reason or another, it is easy to believe that we are not attractive or desirable. Following retouch free pages like iWeigh and Aerie has made me think that banning airbrushing would not be a bad thing. Being exposed to images of undistorted people with all kinds of bodies and realising that more people are relatable to me rather than a Kardashian or a Hadid has certainly made me more
confident about my body and happier in my own skin. We at least need to be more aware of how advertising and social media might be damaging our relationships with our bodies and we should make an effort to follow more influencers like Jamil who are trying to help us all be kinder to ourselves.
Daisy Brown
Images: Flickr MrTinDC
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Treat yourself! Three Budget-Friendly Tips To Treat Your Self Hot chocolate This Valentine’s Day A warm and cosy go-to, there’s nothing quite
As Valentine’s Day approaches, some of us may be feeling the need for some serious self love. However, it can sometimes be difficult to get that special ‘pampered’ feeling for ourselves without tightening the already-tight student budget. That said, there is hope! Here’s a few small-but-simple ideas to make your day (with or without a significant other) that extra bit special…
Face masks
Cheap and cheerful, face masks are a great way to treat your skin to some additional moisture and will leave you feeling fully refreshed. What’s more, there
are plenty to choose from – Wilko offer eleven different varieties at one pound each – so you can easily experiment to find the right one that suits your needs.
like snuggling yourself up on the couch with a good hot chocolate. The darker varieties have been linked to many benefits, including reduced memory loss, a healthier heart and improved cognitive performance. That and it makes you feel great! So why not have one, guilt-free?
A homemade foot spa
Your feet carry you everywhere. After a hard day of rushing about campus, they deserve a break. No need to worry about buying anything expensive here; all you need is a bucket, some hot, soapy water, and if you want a real treat, a bit of buttermilk with your favourite fragrance oil - perfect!
Jake Goddard
Spring cleaning our wardrobes Image: Wikipedia Commons
With graduation looming, I find myself looking at my room in my student house with dread; I’ve accumulated a lot more possessions – including clothes – over the past three years, and now I’m tasked with trimming that down so it will all fit back in one car at the end of the year.
If a full-scale Kondo-style revamp of your wardrobe sounds a bit too daunting however, here’s three tips to help with your wardrobe spring clean:
Cue new Netflix show Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. I’ve seen more jokes about throwing things that don’t ‘spark joy’ out – like your uni reading or your own children – than I’ve seen actual episodes of the show, but beyond the humour, Marie Kondo does actually give good advice.
tops work great on their own or layered with jumpers in colder weather. They can be dressed up or down and are good for work if your job doesn’t have a uniform.
Applying her rule of only keeping things that spark joy to my wardrobe, I managed to get rid of a good chunk of things that I’d only kept ‘just in case’ I might wear them, and things I’d only worn once I felt guilty about them sitting around for so long. A huge part of why we keep pointless things is the sentiment attached to them. By letting that sentiment go, it’s easier to get rid without feeling the guilt afterwards.
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Image: PX here
1. Neutral colours: plain t-shirts or long sleeve
2. Splash on important items:
pay good money for one high-quality piece that will last a long time rather than lots of cheaper ones, like shoes, jeans, and a good winter coat.
3. Your style is always changing:
if you haven’t worn it in six months, it can probably go. If you haven’t worn it in over a year, it can definitely go.
Isabelle Siddle
Image: Flickr Auxillary Images
mmons
To date or not to date? Valentine’s Day: an excited rush to buy a new outfit, the break out of the most special of makeup and accessories, but for most, the worry that you won’t look good enough on a day that society has claimed to be one of the most important day of the year. Valentine’s Day can cause a lot of people to panic because it’s so heavily romanticised as being a special day. If you are single and wanting to make an impression to
secure a date for Valentine’s Day, then why not go all out? If looking your best - whether that be by wearing spanks, wearing a full face of makeup or wearing your best outfit - makes you feel the most confident and empowered, then that’s the best decision. Valentine’s
Day only comes around once a year and you can use it as an excuse to treat yourself and feel special. Embrace the way you feel when you are dressed up and feeling your most confident and try and find a way to harness this surge of confidence all-year-round. However, Valentine’s Day expectations can cause a lot of pressure in terms of putting in the utmost effort for your appearance. Whilst some use the day to feel special, others feel pressured into wearing uncomfortable outfits or hiding their true natural selves. Valentine’s Day is not worth forcing yourself to go to uncomfortable extremes in order to look good and please a potential partner. Nice clothes can make
Image: Flickr Auxillary Images
you look and feel special, but if they don’t then it’s not worth it simply to please someone else. For those in a relationship for Valentine’s Day, it can be a lovely idea to dress up and do something special to celebrate the day together. Putting on a fancy outfit and putting in your best effort can be a great way to use fashion to reignite some excitement within the relationship and add some romanticism. You could use this as an excuse to
buy something new and rediscover or explore a new style to experiment with. Having said this, you deserve respect and attention all-year-round, regardless of Valentine’s Day or not. If you aren’t comfortable and don’t feel you should have to dress up, that should be respected. Valentine’s Day can be just as romantic if you are wearing a fancy dress or in slippers and a onesie.
Ultimately looking good on Valentine’s Day should be for you, not for anyone else. If looking your absolute best makes you feel good on Valentine’s Day, that’s something you should do to make yourself happy. If you are happier to maintain your usual comfortable appearance, then that’s perfectly acceptable too. After all, Valentine’s Day is about love, and self-love should always come first.
Leia Butler
Image: Wikipedia Commons
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MY BLOODY AWFUL VALENTINE There are only two types of dates worth telling: ones that go wonderfully, and ones that go awfully. Scratch that: whilst we all want our friends’ dates to go well, there’s nothing more thrilling and cringe inducing than hearing about a bad date. Here’s some of the worst our writers could give us. Having sat for coffee, he pulled out his phone and shoved towards me, saying, ‘Have a scroll through my Insta!’ This was shortly after he told me he had a love of fashion - he wanted me to see him in his cool clothes, as well as in his underwear. I wouldn’t have been too bothered if this was the extent of his narcissism, but as it turned out, our date very soon became what was pretty much his turn in the confessional booth from that point onward. Perhaps the most worrying things he admitted to me that he was a violent drunk, had been banned from Castle Mall, and had broken into a several bars throughout the city. Yet, he still managed to astound me when describing in full detail the time he snuck into his friend’s foster home, took her out clubbing, and then drew enough attention to himself that she got arrested by the police for being underage. Eventually, he pushed me over the edge when telling me, in a dazed voice, ‘Yeah, I had a date with this guy yesterday, but he didn’t like me. I think I put him off with talking about my bad mental health and drinking problem.’ After that, I messaged a friend to tell them to call me with a fake emergency - took the call - and left little after an hour of being on the date.
‘He told me he had been banned from Castle Mall, had broken into several bars throughout the city, and had a drinking problem...’
Jordan Hunnisett
So, I was dating a guy about a year ago - well I wasn’t too sure if we were really dating until one particular evening. This dude was playing the classic ghosting game which left me very confused and annoyed. Pretty late one night I was at home and I got a message from my Ghost. He tells me he is OUTSIDE my house! Not only was he outside my front door, but incredibly pissed. I let him in (he had wine) but I was even more shocked to be pounced on as soon as we were sat down on my couch. The Ghost confessed his feelings whilst trying to get off with me, only to return to his ghostly ways a few days later, leaving me, well, a bit weirded out.
Anonymous
On my worst date the guy wouldn’t let me buy us drinks so I drank six double gin and tonics in protest. I’m a small girl and it was in a short time, so it will come as no surprise that it was a slow and difficult walk home. Once I got inside, I sat on my kitchen floor as my wonderful housemate made me an omelette while lamenting the difficulties of modern dating. I woke up to a headache and an indecipherable poem I’d written in our fridge magnets. ‘He, the river, lozenges populate never.’ I was right about the never part - I didn’t see the guy again.
Sophie Bunce
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When I was in Sixth Form, I got taken out to a date. In Chelmsford. I took the train up to Chelmsford for a DATE. We went ice skating and he kept trying to hold my hand (in theory: cute) but also kept falling over (in practice: not cute), and then we went to a restaurant on the CHELMSFORD waterfront, where he didn’t say a word but still managed to show me all the contents of his mouth the whole time. In Chelmsford. I broke it off the next day when he texted and asked if I wanted to change my relationship status on Facebook after two dates.
Tamar Moshkovitz
I have always looked young and when I was about 17 I took a girl I like to the cinema for a first date. We were seeing the movie Sightseers (which despite the date was amazing). This was rated a 15 but unfortunately, this baby boy forgot his I.D. Prickled by this implication that I couldn’t see the movie without it, I righteously called my mother to prove my age in front of my date until the Odeon employee said ‘it’s fine(!) you can go in(!)’ Ignoring this, I still found it prudent to ask later on the date if she could rate it out of 10. We’re now firm friends but she does often remind me of what an insane dork I was that night.
Daniel McKeon
But wait! Where are the best places to take your dates? TURTLE BAY: If you like something a bit different, Turtle Bay offers some great Caribbean food, including a variety of sharing platters that are good for dates. I recommend going on a day other than Saturday or Friday it tends to be less lively, meaning you’ll actually be able to hear what your date is saying. What’s more - if you go between 5-7pm you can get 2for1 on cocktails. If the date goes well, Frank’s Bar is also only three metres away. If the date goes badly, the bus stop is close too.
Jake Goddard
BIDDY’S TEA ROOM: This is a fantastic romantic date location for many reasons: first off, if you don’t want to get boozy, you can share one of the 30 different teas they have on offer. Really, it’s an excitingly overwhelming selection. Secondly, if their tea menu wasn’t titillating enough for conversation, the finger sandwiches, cake, and salad that come presented to you on a three-tiered plate will certainly do it. It’s silly and fun, and your date will see you as one hell of a gent/lady/sophisticated go-getter.
Josephine Dowswell
THE TIPSY VEGAN:
Found on St. Benedicts Street near the city centre, The Tipsy Vegan is the perfect date location for those looking for a relaxing evening of social drinking and comforting vegan food. This is the place to go to get to know each other while trying out some of the finest animal-free cuisine that Norwich has to offer as well as getting a little bit drunk. The restaurant owners also have what was an amazing market stall: Bia Vegan Diner. They served some delicious vegan street food, in an authentic, American Diner-esque style. A walk round the city with their legendary ‘caulifire bites’ proved to be an exceptional - if not spicy - afternoon date. Sadly Bia no longer trade on the market, but keep an eye out on their social media for details about their new premises!
Jordan Hunnisett
THE RUMSEY WELLS:
The Rumsey Wells is the best pub around for a date - it’s always got such a laid back vibe. Their beer garden is perfect for a cheeky summer’s evening and in the winter you could always snuggle up on the sofas (if you’re that kind of person). And if you want something a little more energetic, the underbelly - the Rumsey’s downstairs venue - has hosted some truly memorable gigs and is sure to host some more. And obvs, beer galore.
Tamar Moshkovitz
THE PLAYHOUSE:
Oof, it’s one of the hipsteriest joints in town; you know you’ll both bloody love it. A fun selection of gins, an outside speckled with fairy lights, decorations and different coloured seats, NUA students everywhere, many of which you matched with on Tinder and they never replied or you never replied and now you know that you’ll never talk for as long as you both shall live but you still see them every time you go to the Playhouse because they’re just always there, all of them - uh, the ceiling of the main bar is also very cool. Go see it for yourself.
Josephine Dowswell
PLANTATION GARDENS:
Tucked away discreetly behind the Catholic Cathedral on Earlham Road, and only ten minutes from the city centre, the Plantation Gardens have to be one of the most picturesque spots in Norwich, and they’re perfect for either a meditative stroll on your own, or a romantic time with a partner. The gardens are open seven days a week, ran by volunteers, and are often most busy in the summer, where sometimes films are even projected. This time of year the gardens are quiet and romantic, and best of all, they operate on an honesty box system where visitors are expected to pay only £2, although no one will notice if you’re looking to save money this Valentine’s.
Matt Nixon
Images: Unsplash.
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The sound of love It seems that almost every song written is about love. Whether it is about heartbreak or the existence of soulmates, there is a song out there for you and your partner. There’s no escaping music and the emotional effect it can hold on you and your relationship. Music can help you build an emotional relationship with your partner and also help you to express your feelings to one another. Meaning is found within lyrics and the metaphors they utilise. It is no surprise that music has a large role within relationships. Many couples have a special song that resonates with them. Alongside every big event within a relationship is a song; the
song playing in the club when you first kissed, the song playing in the restaurant on your anniversary or the song playing during your first dance at your wedding. Whatever stage you are at in your relationship, music helps us to remember the milestones within our relationships in a special and meaningful way. Lots of good date ideas take place in where music is playing. Going to the LCR or The Waterfront for a gig can be a special event, particularly if the band you see has a song significant to you. Listening to music whilst cooking together, studying together and travelling together helps to create meaningful memories and cement your relationship. Even
going to karaoke is a fun date idea surrounding music (if your partner’s singing isn’t too terrible). Music is closely linked to emotions: most people sing when they are happy and singing together is a way to have fun and strengthen your relationship. We find ourselves placing music at the centre of love and relationships because it is another way of expressing our feelings. Being emotionally available and transparent is an important aspect of a relationship and music can help show your partner how you feel.
Jess Barrett
Valentine’s playlist 1. ADELE: MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE This song acts as a reminder of unconditional, eternal and passionate love. The repeated line throughout - make you feel my love - is tender and emotional, an attempt from Adele to communicate such a strong love. The song is not particularly complex and is quite minimal in terms of structure, however this reflects the message the song is trying to convey. When love is right, it is simple and easy.
2. LORD HURON: THE NIGHT WE MET
This is a very nostalgic piece about memories and the desire to return to the first moment the love began. The song describes a complicated type of love and wishes things could go back to before the hard parts of the relationship began. This song portrays a very real interpretation of love which is what I most love about it, describing the good and the bad. Leia Butler
3. DONNA SUMMER: HOT STUFF
Donna Summer has some great tracks but Hot Stuff is one of her most sexy and fun ones. The perfect song for Valentine’s Day, it’s still a banger to this day, even though it was released in 1979.
4. BILLY JOEL: SHE’S ALWAYS A WOMAN
One of my all-time favourite love songs. It’s heartfelt, playful and always gets people emotional. It’s a must-have on any Valentine’s playlist just because of its beautifully sung lyrics, let alone for all the other mentioned reasons.
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Gabriela Williams
Image: Pixabay
Bring Me the Horizon: Amo review Having just entered their 15th year of existence, Sheffield metal group Bring Me The Horizon have lived enough years and produced enough material to have caused my interest in them to rise and fall several times.
not disappoint. Taking on her avant garde electronic pop was a move of unexpected excellence, and ‘nihilist blues’ will undoubtedly sound phenomenal live. The band’s previous cracks at including intricate strings within their music has always been intriguing. This previous work has allowed them to go fully classical with ‘i don’t know what to say’, a song that wouldn’t sound out of place as a Bond theme.
The promotional campaign for the band’s sixth release amo has seen the band secure their first Grammy nomination, announce their first headline slot at London’s All Points East festival and receive their first UK number one. All feats of a band in total denial of their arena potential a few years ago, feats they are deserving of due to the simple fact that they never stop innovating, taking the characteristics of metal groups of their time and shaping them into something entirely different. The band’s 2015 release That’s The Spirit had me floored after a period of disinterest. Much of the press for amo have seen lead singer Oli Sykes concede this exact intention, stating that creating an album full of ‘bangers’ would pave the way for BMTH to experiment with future projects. That’s The Spirit struck the perfect balance between the ferocity of BMTH’s trademark metal sound with a heightened pop sensibility, something that had shown its face on highlights from previous projects but only in slithers. Many reviews of amo have dwelled in the presumption that this album will be an upset to their long time fans, a necessary but not central observation as to why the album fails to be as musically effective as its predecessor. However, I do not believe the album’s letdowns lie in its experimental nature. In fact, amo misses the mark in acting as the vehicle for
the band to deliver some of their most interesting musical ideas yet, serving up unconvincing and unoriginal lyrical content. Production duties have stayed with Sykes and keyboard player Jordan Fish for the second album in a row, and for the most part it has paid off. All of the album’s highlights lie within the moments that would’ve seemed impossible for a band like BMTH a mere two albums ago. Lead single ‘MANTRA’ deserves it’s Grammy nomination, laden in sirens and vocal samples acting as a powerful bridge for fans of the band’s previous work whilst bringing something new to the table. As a massive fan of Grimes, the band’s collaboration with her was by far my most anticipated moment of the album and it does
Much of amo’s disappointment stems from the number of big moments that feel uncomfortable, even lazy. Second single ‘medicine’ would not have stood out among the masses of poppier metal songs of it’s kind in 2011 and does not stand out now. ‘heavy metal’ is communicated with an unconvincing arrogance that carries no real weight dedicating an entire song to critics on ‘the gram’ at the age of 32. An album with promise, amo will attract listeners old and new for different reasons and further the band’s success. Bring Me The Horizon are going to reach the greatest heights of their career off the back of one of their weakest albums, and that is okay.
Shannon McDonagh
Image: Kerrang!
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The indie genre In the second of his three-part celebration of indie’s 40th year, Lewis Oxley discusses how it left its DIY roots and established itself as a popular genre. As the 1980s dragged on, the independent music scene was flourishing more than its founding fathers could ever have imagined. The success of Factory and Rough Trade’s lead acts, New Order and The Smiths, was no longer unnoticed. The Smiths’ debut album had led the band to huge critical acclaim, whereas New Order’s release of Blue Monday in 1983 had taken everything by storm, and became the biggest selling 12’’ single of all time. However, this success for both bands was a smokescreen for what was happening behind the scenes; all was not well in both camps. At Factory, attention was being driven towards Tony Wilson’s monument to Manchester: The Hacienda. Despite it being the centre of Manchester’s cultural universe, the financial impact became a sore wound. New Order found themselves playing and making records to keep the label afloat. Wilson had lavish ambitions for the club, but all at a price. Things for Rough Trade weren’t rosy either, with The Smiths constantly arguing over royalties. This would
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prove to be the impossible splinter to get out. Ultimately it was this that led to their downfall and break up in 1987. By the end of the 1980s and the start of the 1990s, independent music, now a full established force, needed a new, big name. The Smiths had been left in the 1980s; the Acid-House rave scene didn’t catch on with everyone, both Factory and Rough Trade were struggling, and the spotlight had turned to America and Grunge. It appeared that the new thing was shoegazing and melancholic alternative pop and that this very British genre would need to branch out to its followers in a new way and follow on in high spirit from the second summer of love. The next decade would see indie become less a philosophy revolving around small record labels, but a sound. The genre now meant a lot more than simply music not in the mainstream. The twangy guitars, the sweet and simple three chords done in only three minutes or more. The guitar itself now belonged in indie’s firm grip ready for action.
In London, with the new ambitions of an uncanny Scot, Alan McGee, there were plans to make the capital the new hub of the D.I.Y indie scene, culminating in the birth of a new label: Creation. Creation had already been on the indie movement scene since before the 1990s, but only as a low-key label. They started with Scottish bands who went on to have subsequent success, including The Jesus and the Mary Chain and Primal Scream, the latter of which would have a huge hit with their landmark 1991 album Screamadelica. However, this couldn’t last. The 1990s became the start of the buying-out period for these epic trends setters of D.I.Y.; both Primal Scream and Jesus and the Mary Chain went to majors (Columbia and Warner Bros respectively). They needed a new bunch a new face for indie; they found it in the form of two brothers from Manchester, who would take the next decade by storm, some might say, that this band Definitely Maybe did. They were a small act called Oasis.
Lewis Oxley
Image: Flickr
Representing sex in gaming: how do you Do It? It goes without saying that sex is something a lot of people experience in their lifetime, and as such it’s a common ground of understanding for humanity as a whole. Having such a huge reference point in the human experience like this means that the appearance of sex in art and media is plentiful. Whether video games are art or not is an ongoing debate - and a hill I don’t plan on dying on today - but they certainly are media and, oh boy, they definitely contain a lot of sex. As with any industry worth more than $140 billion there’s a whole lot of bad, but that doesn’t diminish the presence of the good and this is absolutely true of sex’s place in video games. But before that a quick piece of history: the first game to actively include sex was Night Life, released in April 1982. Published by Koei - known for the Dynasty Warriors series - this game was developed by husband and wife duo Yōichi and Keiko Erikawa as an aid for couple’s sex lives, and includes thrilling features such as a period schedule, a digital Kama Sutra, and black and white horny drawings. Fast forward to 2018 and video games have changed quite a bit, and the representation of sex within them as well. In October I visited the Victoria and Albert Museum, specifically the video games exhibition they were running at the time. It was at this exhibition I saw ‘how do you Do It?’, created by Nina Freeman and her team as part of Global Game Jam in 2014. The concept of the game is simple enough, you control an eleven year old girl trying to figure out what sex is, the player takes control of the girl’s arms as they flail a couple dolls reminiscent of a Barbie and Ken - next
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Image: dreamypixel, Pixabay
to each other trying to emulate what they think sex is. An autobiographical game by Freeman, it’s based on the memory of her attempting the same thing after watching Titanic for the first time, perplexed by what was going on between Rose and Jack inside that car. The game ends with the girl’s mother returning home having run some errands, and she may catch you performing these acts with the dolls depending on if you’re able to hide the dolls before she enters the room. This is then followed by a screen telling you how many times you ‘might have done sex’ (my record is 160). In my opinion, this is absolutely my favourite depiction of sex in video games; not because it has the best looking graphics, or has the hottest characters going at it, but because it so effectively puts forward that childlike curiosity on the topic. Many parents don’t want to talk to their child about sex, so it becomes this secret adult topic like death or, to a lesser extent, swearing. Children are aware it exists but don’t fully understand what it is and—due to the fact their parents don’t like talking about it—they know it’s a taboo topic, so they have to work out the rest themselves. This small and charming game is a nostalgia trip to various points of my youth, such as walking in on my sisters watching American Pie and seeing a pair of boobs on the TV screen for the first time, sitting with my friends in junior school as we read up on what a vagina is in the dictionary, seeing some lady suck Nicholas Cage’s tongue in Face/Off - were these examples of sex? Sex in all media can
be gratuitous and unnecessary, but children are innocent and inquisitive and this game demonstrates that perfectly. It’s joyful and wholesome in a form of media that for the most part is not, and because of this I recommend visiting Freeman’s website (ninasays.so) to try the game yourself for free. Whether you see it as a silly fun game, or something deeper than that, Nina Freeman is one of the most interesting and important creators currently in the field. Unfortunately, not all games follow suit. Whether it’s button mashing your way through the brothels in God of War or video game director David Cage being a disgusting pervert to Ellen Page during the development of Beyond Two Souls, as well as continuing to put all his female characters into gross exploitative positions since his directorial debut in 1999. It’s evident that not all games are thoughtful towards their sexual representation. This isn’t me attempting to be a prude and making sex to be something sacred and protected, but it cannot be denied that still to this day - despite gaming’s large and diverse audience - games are developed in the male gaze, where women get skimpy bikinis while men get the full suits of armour. But this isn’t destined to be the case forever; with inspiring developers like Nina Freeman continuing to explore themes of sex and relationships in a meaningful way, the future is certainly exciting.
Charley Wilkin
RECENTLY PLAYED: Mount Your Friends Mount Your Friends 3D: A Hard Man is Good to Climb was released almost exactly a year ago, yet I only got to play for the first time in the last few weeks. The game, developed by Stegersaurus Software Inc, is a follow up to the 2D side scroller QWOPesque classic originally released on Steam in 2013. The 3D update to the game, however, is infinitely more fun. The premise is simple, you take it turns playing as athletes who are climbing on top of a goat, reaching as high as possible within a time limit. If you can’t set a new record height within the set time limit you’re out, and the last athlete standing wins. Developers Stergesaurus call the game a great simulated sports-like experience of friend mounting, and added ‘Mount Your Friends 3D brings mounting to the third dimension, with the same classic innuendo that made
you slightly uncomfortable back in the day.’ Like its predecessor and games similar to QWOP, the controls are intentionally quite clunky, at least at first, with players controlling each of the athlete’s limbs individually. However, the more you play the game, the more efficiently you can climb to the top. The further you ascend the human tower of Babylon you create, the harder it becomes to reach the top, and often more competitive players will deliberately create overhangs or other obtrusions which can send you falling to the ground again. It only takes a few rounds of play for the tower to become quite an impressive, daft, and - I forgot to mention phallic. The athlete characters in the game are ridiculously stocky, hench men whose appearance can
be customised, though all wear the same tight speedos showing off an impressive member which, despite not being a limb players can control, can be the difference between setting a new height record or not. Mount Your Friends is hilariously stupid but very fun and addicting to play. Its mechanics are smooth, and there are a range of gamemodes I am still yet to play. The game is currently only available on PC through Steam, though its 2D predecessor is available on Xbox Live. If you’re looking for some casual and ludicrous fun to play, especially around Valentine’s, Mount Your Friends is a good choice and I recommend you check it out.
Matt Nixon
Image: zoosnow, Pixabay
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Skybound continue The Walking Dead: Final Season following Telltale bankruptcy After filing for bankruptcy in early November last year, gamers across the world were left disappointed and saddened by the end of Telltale Games’ 14-year success with their much-adored episodic adventure games. This happened in the midst of the development and release of the final season of their most favoured franchise The Walking Dead, which has been running for the last six years. With Telltale having to drop the project two episodes in due to their liquidation, fans feared another abrupt end on the horizon, this time to the tale of Clementine as she attempts to survive in the hit zombie-infested wastes of the original Walking Dead comics, created by Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore. This not only proved a shame considering the amount of work put into the previous four games (including DLC) and how much praise the franchise had received by the public and critics alike. But also because the first episode of the final season, ‘Done Running’ and the second, ‘Suffer the Children’, are some of the best storytelling and gameplay that Telltale ever managed.
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Image: Instacodez, Flickr
However, later that same month, Skybound Entertainment - Robert Kirkman’s production company announced after having taken on board many former Telltale developers that the series was to be started up again with the last two episodes to be completed in the early months of 2019 by the company. This means that whilst Telltale may be gone for good, The Walking Dead: Final Season remains in full-swing, run by some of the franchise’s original developers as well as developers under Kirkman, the writer who brought The Walking Dead into existence. It might be for this reason that the third episode, ‘Broken Toys’, has been one of the most intense and astounding interactive adventure games brought out this year. The game itself may have a few glitches here and there - particularly in relation to syncing player choices and navigating menu screens - but these are minor in comparison to the narrative, gameplay and visual elements of the episode. Players enter ‘Broken Toys’ in a quite precarious situation after the end events of ‘Suffer
the Children’, in which Clementine and her eight-year old protégé, AJ, found themselves in a seige-like battle during an attempt to defend themselves and their new allies found at Ericson’s Boarding School for Troubled Youth - from long-lost villain of the series Lilly. After the fight, in which some characters fall to the hands of Lilly’s raiders through either kidnapping or slaughter, Clementine must now work with the few remaining children at the school and her mysterious new friend, James (a lone survivor from a Whisperer colony), to rescue her lost allies and take down her enemies for good. During this struggle she must also take good care of AJ - who is worryingly becoming corrupted by his growing violence - and perhaps find love with either the charming Louis or gentle Violet. Oh, and don’t forget the walkers!
Jordan Hunnisett
Venue’s top picks for Sex Survey Season In honour of Concrete’s annual Sex Survey, it seems fitting to reccommend some of our favourite shows about love, sex, and relationships. Through these shows we can share in the awkwardness of first loves, explore different experiences and identities, push the boundaries of modern romance and relationships, and remind ourselves to always check that our social media settings are on private (I’m looking at You, Joe Goldberg!).
Juliette Rey’s pick - Sex Education (Netflix) So many things could go wrong with a teen comedy about sex. It could be an embarrassing and awkward thing to watch with bad representation. This show, however, surprisingly didn’t fall into the trap. It is a new, honest, refreshing portrayal of teen life and the questions that come along with entering the world of sex. With the help of Otis’ new job as a secret sex therapist at school, his mates get the help they need to navigate this relatively new territory. It highlights issues such as teen pregnancy and violence towards the LGBTQ+ community, cleverly mixes the funny with the deep and heart-warming, and puts inclusivity at the forefront of the show.
Jess Barrett’s pick - You (Netflix)
The type of relationship between Joe and Beck in You is different than most other Netflix TV series. Joe takes on an obsessive role, constantly questioning her actions and intervening in her relationships with her friends and her exboyfriend. The intense emotion displayed in You is not one of love, but of infatuation. Joe simply cannot get enough of Beck and her life and will stop at nothing to be a part of it. You has faced a lot of criticism surrounding the idea that Joe is simply acting out of love and his irrational behaviour is nothing to be concerned about. It is extremely important to emphasise that Joe’s obsession with Beck and his stalking of her is not normal behaviour in a romantic relationship, and we have to be careful not to romanticise the abusive and intrusive relationship that Beck and Joe have. The show makes you realise that the pair’s relationship is unhealthy, and therefore is quite crafty in making you aware of how problematic it is, almost serving as a warning to the audience. The fascination that Joe holds for Beck is shared with the audience; you question her actions alongside him, understanding his curiosity and frustration. The journey you undertake when watching creates a deep insight into the couple’s life and is clever in showing the highs and lows of their relationship. The show is gripping, entertaining and definitely binge-worthy.
Rosey Battle’s pick - Lovesick (Netflix)
Formerly named Scrotal Recall, it’s understandable why Netflix’s Lovesick may have remained a hidden gem for quite some time. To give an unjustly oversimplified synopsis of the show: a guy gets tested positive for chlamydia and, through the flashback structure of each episode, the stories of his past love interests are revealed as he contacts them with the news. A more apt analysis is that the show’s core revolves around the wholesome friendship between hopeless romantic Dylan (Johnny Fynn), Evie (Antonia Thomas) his will they/won’t they love interest, and Luke (Daniel Ings) the surface level lothario. For a gushy show about love and sex, Lovesick remains special with the ethnically diverse love interests which it doesn’t pimp out for good PR. The show not only conforms but unexpectedly subverts rom-com conventions and can convert even the biggest cynic to no longer be sick of love.
Jodie Bailey’s pick - Wanderlust (BBC)
Wanderlust made headlines when its lead actress, Toni Collette, said that she had been told that she was the first woman to have an orgasm on the BBC. Whether that’s true or not is besides the point; the great strength of Wanderlust is its ability to discuss sexual pleasure in a frank and honest way. Collette stars as Joy, a therapist whose sex life with her husband, Alan (Steven Mackintosh), has grown stale. In a bid to reinvigorate her sex life and save her otherwise happy marriage, Joy suggests that the pair venture into the world of polyamory. Wanderlust is packed full of the subtleties of marriage, sex, and relationships - focusing on Joy and Alan’s friends and children as well as their own relationship. It’s clever and evidently groundbreaking for the BBC, with a maturity that we rarely see even after the watershed. Images: Netflix, BBC
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Nightflyers - outdated and laughably clichéd The new Netflix series, Nightflyers, an adaption of George R.R. Martin’s novella by the same name, is not worth its cost in time. If the series offered some of the elements that we know Martin to be good at, such as world and character building, the story would have a certain credibility, however it is generally outdated.
for following writing trends. In its own time, some of the interactions we’d consider cliché today, might not have been interpreted quite the same way in 1980.
not very exciting. They are good, but without being worthy of notice. Maya Eshet and Sam Strike are the most excitement that the viewer is presented with.
The novella was originally written in 1980, and it is difficult to ignore that fact when watching the series. Its premise is laughably cliché: set in 2093, a team of scientists set out for outer space on a journey in search of
Yet, the series is also outdated in ways that it had no need to be, such as in the way that Jeff Buhler (responsible for adapting the novella for the screen) decided to fill the series with nods to different cult movies, such as The Exorcist, The Shining, or Alien. While references to works by other writers can be interesting at times, there does not seem to be any justification
The only redeeming grace is the exclusivity clause in Martin’s contract with HBO - he was not allowed to take an active role in the writing of the screenplay, as he is used to doing for Game of Thrones. One can only hope that it gives him more time to write the last book of the A Song of Ice and Fire series.
However, it is hard to blame Martin
Even those elements which are not outdated – the way it was filmed, or the actors’ performances - are
alien life. Some of its dialogue seems too familiar to be taken seriously: the daughter giving her father a bracelet as a token to remember her by, the veteran scientist reassuring the newbie about the trip they are embarking on, etc.
for referencing them in this case, beyond Buhler’s apparent admiration for them. Referencing other works for the sake of referencing them seems to distract from the focus of the series.
Overall, a caveat should be issued to prospective viewers: just because Game of Thrones was brilliant in most ways possible, that does not mean that a series by the same author is made of the same calibre. Nightflyers remains, at best, a series to watch when one is bored, or when the weather is particularly poor.
Elkyn Ernst
Russian Doll - an interesting concept 1 February saw the release of Netflix’s new eight-part series Russian Doll, starring Natasha Lyonne and created by Amy Poehler. Lyonne plays lead Nadia: a drug-addicted, software engineer on the cusp of celebrating her 36th birthday. Sometime after midnight has struck, Nadia is killed by a car whilst on the hunt for her missing cat, only to wake up in the bathroom we are greeted with in the opening scene of episode one. In a Happy Death Day-esque manner, Nadia becomes trapped in a cycle of death and rebirth into the midst of her birthday party, avoiding the death of the previous night only to be killed in another way. Russian Doll is a black comedy; almost all of the humour stems from the consideration of death, which
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is reflected in the dark, smoke-filled shots of the opening episodes. In a vicious cycle in which all decisions lead to demise, Nadia attempts to escape her situation by using the previous nights knowledge to advance her understanding of what may be happening to her. With her set of artistically employed friends, an ex-lover, and a therapist on the scene, there are lots of avenues for development in the following episodes. So far the show has received generous ratings online, but it is yet to grab and pull me any further than the first couple of episodes. Drug use and discussion of psychiatric wards are prominent from the outset in Russian Doll, and even with the ease with which I am able to see these topics
explored on-screen, I struggled to identify an initial message the show may be trying to project. I feel that the characters lack dimension, and therefore find it difficult to see where the story is heading. Whilst they aren’t personal favourites of mine in television, the use of black comedy, Nadia’s headstrong, brash character, and the edgy visual and musical choices that Russian Doll features will absolutely appeal to a wide range of viewers. Russian Doll presents an interesting concept in a very specific style, one that I think would be appreciated by the artistically inclined audience of UEA.
Ellie Robson
I dreamed a dream...
As ever, the BBC has successfully attempted to inject a bit more life into its evening dramas this year. One of its much anticipated offerings is the new adaptation of Victor Hugo’s classic, Les Misérables. With some all-star names including Dominic West and Olivia Coleman, the show boasts of being a much closer adaptation of the novel than the film/musical that people are most familiar with, meaning this six-part drama had a lot to live up to. Five out of six episodes down and so far, so good. It certainly is a much closer adaptation; Éponine and Gavroche are rightfully reunited as siblings, Javert’s unhealthy obsession with arresting the well-meaning Jean Valjean is far more effectively established, and the utter depravity of Fantine’s downfall into prostitution escapes the romanticised musical rendition. I hesitate to use the word ‘downfall’ here. There has been much discussion in recent years surrounding the empowerment of choosing to work in the sex industry. But the differing in opinions seems to hinge on that one word: choice. What are the implications for someone who is forced into sex work, whether due to financial pressures or otherwise? What can we learn here about changing power dynamics within sexual relationships? Is there a place for such discussions at nine o’clock in the evening on the BBC? I am ashamed to say that I have never tackled reading the brick that is Les Misérables, but I reckon I could easily give a one-man performance of the entire musical, so I’ve got that going for me. The BBC has successfully introduced facets of Fantine’s character that I have previously been unfamiliar with. We see her journey from a young and naïve adolescent wishing to see the world, to desperate and destitute young adult attempting to use her sexuality as power in order to provide for her child. It seems that power and sex go much more explicitly handin-hand in Les Misérables’ society than they do now – though that relationship certainly persists. In the opening
episode, we are introduced to the young man who sleeps a summer by Fantine’s side. Rich, white, and male, Felix has all the characteristics of a boy playing at being a man
and playing with the women he sees as existing for his own entertainment and desire. He does provide private rooms for Fantine and the baby Cosette, though along with his equally rich, white, male sidekicks, he promptly deserts Fantine and her peers at dinner with a telling note: ‘Lament us briefly and replace us rapidly.’ Sex with these young girls was an experience they knew would be fleeting, and though they are apparently giving women the choice to submit to the advances of these tortured poets, ultimately this is all an act. An act that remains a little too familiar. Hugo (and now the BBC) seem to be interested in interrogating the extent to which these women should be protected from sexual advances. There are certainly later parallels with Marius’ attempts to woo Cossette who does escape the fate of her mother. This is a fate that seems far more tragic than the musical would have us imagine. Without a roguish father figure to keep her tightly wrapped in cotton wool, Fantine is forced to accept less than helpful advice: ‘You should have gone on the game before you sold your pretty hair and your lovely white teeth. Who’s going to take you, looking like that?’ Toxic attitudes surrounding the expression of gender and sexuality certainly were alive and well in French Revolution-era Paris. There is much to be learned from the sexual politics embedded in Hugo’s fictional world, and much to be said for the very PG representation that the BBC opted for. Sexual relationships were fraught with power dynamics and the will to survive – Eponine introduces a whole new angle to that front. It is poignant to consider whether anything very much has changed in the underground and under-monitored sex industry of the 21st century.
Becca Allen Image:BBC
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Ice Cream Cone Ice cream. Soft serve with strawberry sauce on the side. A limited edition offer to spin down its swirly vanilla slide. Smooth surface, untouched and shiny new, My heart beats faster as I think of the magic bound within you. Sprinkle covered cone, I take a hesitant bite, I go deeper and deeper till I dissolve into your dairy delight. Lick after lick, I feel you melt against my tongue, Lick after lick until I’m almost unstrung. The sauce is thick and pooling down in drips, Sweet liquid trickles against my hungry lips. After we are done, you are gone without a trace, The only proof of your existence is a few crumbs left on my face. But your taste won’t be forgotten and I’ll soon be back for more, After all there’s so many flavours still left to explore…
Leia Butler
Period Sharp pangs Stab my stomach On my back, In pain. A hole inside of me, I am not complete. My vagina is a gateway for the other. I want to take a needle and pierce the eye with red thread, I want to sew together the lips that engulf my emptiness. Red. Flesh. Raw. My external skin is tough, But my insides are not. I am permeable. I am vulnerable.
Katherine Childs
For Me? I know things are meant to fade But promise - for me - just them you’ll save As we rack up new people new faces hours unslept Promise - for me - your eyes will be kept.
Sophie Bunce
Little Intimacies The body is fragile. Skin soft, a pillow for the weary to lay their heads. Cheek to cheek a warm cushion. Hair entangles lovers in its web, Bridging the space of dreams To thread itself with another. Somewhere, two tears roll silently together, In collision. Damp and Damaged by the hands of others. Twisted bodies Intertwined Between sheets of ice upon the mattress. A fresh awakening, Air tickles at the skin. Some bodies disappear With the morning’s breath. But friendly freckles await to greet me good morning. Stretched eyelids of tracing paper Reveal internal thoughts Written out in blue and red veins, popping over the surface, to say, ‘I will stay’.
Katherine Childs Image: public domain images
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Filling An Empty Room
She turned on the bedside lamp and wondered why she hadn’t fallen asleep yet. It was past midnight and she’d gone to bed hours ago. She looked around her room and thought about how strange it looked at night and how strange it was that her own personal space could suddenly feel so empty. It was her room, without doubt. But there was something wrong that she couldn’t find the words for, like the walls were calling out to her without speaking. She badly wanted to fill the room up to the ceiling so it wouldn’t seem so hollowed out and sad, but she didn’t have anything to take up the space. There was a time about a year ago, she remembered, where it was so much easier to fall asleep. But she was restless and irritated and tightly wound – and didn’t want to think about him and how much easier it was back then. She could feel his hands still, stroking her back. She had always seen how careless he was with those hands, but the moment they touched her he was delicate, like the secret of his gentle nature was reserved for her consideration. She thought about him more, how he played with her hair until she fell asleep and how his body pressed against hers when he held her. She didn’t necessarily want to remember the memories as vividly as she did, but the physical sensation of those interactions was imprinted on her mind, and they would return to her as she thought of them. What was it that she had felt with him? At the time she assumed it was a symptom of romantic love, but that’s not what she yearned for right now – what she wanted was something visceral. It was the touch that mattered. A light tickle of the spine, or the skin, or the tiny hairs on top of it. But she had largely forgotten what touch felt like from someone other than herself. She remembered recently when a friend had placed his hand on her shoulder and it felt like being electrocuted. How every millisecond it occurred shot through her as if it wasn’t just an inconsequential gesture, but something more instead. He could tell as well, she reckoned, because the stench of loneliness clings to the skin like wet clothes. At least it does on her. She looked around and thought again about how empty her room felt. Knowing inside that thinking served no other purpose than to torment the body. The bedroom was downstairs and on one side of it was a patio door and windows that connected the room to the garden, so long curtains covered it. She looked to them now. The light from the bedside lamp, though minimal, just about touched them, casting a shadow across the ripples of fabric so they looked like waves. The curtain folds reminded her of the stomach belonging to a woman she slept with months ago, on a rare occasion of being touched by another. The woman came and left, not keen on staying too long in just one place, and she could see her now getting ready to go, bending over to pull her trousers up, the various curves of her body making her look like a marble statue. She missed her, her soft body and the energy she could imbue with every touch of her knowing fingers. She thought about how easy it is to become fond of someone who you know so little about, since the imagination is free to invent something more alluring than reality. She was consumed by these thoughts and stared up towards the ceiling. To her the ugly pattern looked like miniature stalactites dripping water. She imagined them soaking the walls of her room as the idea ate away at her – the idea that she craved touch and nothing else. But she wanted to sleep. She stretched out her legs and released some of the tension she felt, rubbing her feet together and stretching the arches as much as she could. But it made her think of him again – and her – and everyone – when she had looked down at the bottom of the bed and seen two pairs of feet sticking out from under the covers, not just one. Where were all these people now? When she needed their bodies and they didn’t just need hers? She kept asking herself unanswerable questions in the hopes that it would tire her out, but if anything it just gave her more energy. She decided to turn away from the lamp, which seemed to grow brighter, and stare instead at the wall until her eyes got sore. Surely that would make her fall asleep, she thought. It seemed at first like this would work, that her mind would clear and she could finally go to sleep. But she was distracted by a noise outside that sounded like her cat meowing. She considered letting it in, but soon turned back to the wall, trying to focus on anything besides touch. She watched it intensely, like she was expecting it to run away from her. But it didn’t. It just stayed there, trapped under those wet stalactites that unrelentingly dripped. She heard the cat again, much louder this time so it couldn’t be ignored, and caved to its demands. She got out of bed and walked towards the curtains, gently placing her fingers towards the opening and letting them part as she went through. At the top of the patio door was a small lock sticking out that she struggled to reach, spending a long time fiddling with it until eventually, relieved, she could open the door. She let her cat come in and finally felt tired. She decided it was wise to go to the toilet before sleeping, and when she got back to her bed and got herself comfortable, she noticed that her room no longer seemed so empty and turned off the bedside lamp.
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Image: Flickr
S.J. O’Dell
Masculinity When he saw Charlotte seven months ago, Harry got caught up in her face, lost in her eyes because of the way they shone when she smiled, lost in her hair when the sun met and entwined with it, lost in the small words she had said to him and the silence after them. Now, under the sterile white lights of the train carriage, those same features which were before inaccessible to him were perhaps even more beautiful than that first day he saw her. Months of wondering what colour her eyes were, he found comfort in the orange suns of her irises, bordered by green forests. He was oblivious of the way Charlotte’s eyes danced between courteousness and trying not to lead him on. All day she had carried two letters in the inside pocket of her jacket – one written on lined paper in a plain envelope, the other on letter-writing paper with a matching coloured envelope. One broke up with him, the other didn’t. It was a comfort to her to know that a decision would be made based on which envelope she chose, even though it was the sort of thing characters did in books. She hadn’t ever been the sort of person to write letters, but seven months of receiving Harry’s poetry had seemed to demand a letter in response. Unlike his, it wasn’t full of professions of love – she detailed her life to him, as he had asked her to. She thought about how he had kissed her earlier that day for the first time, how he had just pulled her close to him as they were walking and went straight in. How his kisses were so flat that his nose stabbed her. How he smelled after walking around Norwich. How he had freaked out when he found out about Suzie, her ex. She didn’t think it was that uncommon for break-ups not to be clear-cut. And anyway, Suzie had gotten with a guy recently – not because she actually liked him or anything, but because he had bought her a £70 dildo. What chivalry. She flipped down the awkward little seat desk in front of her, saying, ‘sorry, just need to text my mum,’ as she felt her pocket for her phone. ‘No problem,’ Harry said. Her phone not being in her jeans, she began to dump all the stuff in her bag out in front of her. ‘Can’t find your phone?’ ‘It should be in here.’ Her hand reached up and checked her inside pocket, and then she saw it next to her on the seat. ‘Idiot,’ she said lifting it and rolling her eyes. She began to text to her mum that she was almost at the station while Harry stared at the reflection of a tired, stubbly man in the train window, trying not to act as if he’d just seen the letter in her jacket pocket – the same coloured envelope as the first she had sent him. ‘So,’ he said, ‘when are you planning on giving me your letter?’ ‘What?’ she said, her chest frozen, looking up at his smirk. ‘Oh, you saw.’ * Once Charlotte had stepped off the train, Harry clung to the unopened letter as if it was proof that he was loved, was capable of being loved, and he looked out the window for her as she squeezed through departing passengers, her eyes stinging – remembering the way she felt when she got with her first boyfriend, the feeling of being trapped, of being on a set of tracks with one destination. She didn’t turn to look for him as she ascended the stairs to the bridge that crossed the rails. Coming to rest on the edge of the bridge, she inhaled the nostalgic winter air – the smell of wood, of smoke. Taking the plain envelope out of her pocket, she felt her mouth tremble. She closed her eyes and tried to swallow, instead hearing herself sob as the train slid out from under her.
Conor Smith
Image: Flickr
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My girlfriend goes to a different school: my long distance experience.
When I first started seeing my girlfriend, the idea of long distance was very very scary. I had seen friends of mine try and stay with their sixth form girlfriends through university who, without fail, would crash and burn with a consistency that honestly warranted its own investigation. It seemed an impossible task. I always thought they only hung on because saying goodbye and properly meaning it was too hard to admit to themselves. I’ve now been seeing my partner for the past three years, my first and only actual relationship, all of which has been long distance. Probably seems like I’ve shat the bed on this one, but it’s truly become one of the most important and life-changing experiences of my life.
Bit of context because it is a slightly odd sitch, we actually met on the internet three years ago, liked each other, dated online for six months, before I flew out to her hometown (she lives in Chicago) to meet her for the very first time. She then moved to France for two years as part of her dual degree and we’d see each other every three to four weeks. She is now attending college at Berkeley. (Because she’s super smart and the best). Okay, we’re all caught up. We’re sort of living what Pitbull described as International Love. (Chris Brown also features on that song but I don’t care for him). When starting out, my early research brought me to a Buzzfeed video about long distance relationships (happy to report my research skills are still just as bad). In that video, a man said that taking part in a long distance relationship is a bit like having the promise of a future relationship, holding out hope for a future where you’ll be together forever. At the time, I found this very insightful. For example, it constantly had me looking forward to seeing her again, remembered how much
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Image: Pixabay.
we loved each other and how good our relationship had and continues to be. But a helpful amendment to remember in that, is that it is still a relationship even when you’re not together. As precious as the time you have together is, I think it’s important to not fall in love with the idea of a person when you’re in a relationship, and long distance can make it too easy to do just that. You’re constantly referring to the good times you had physically together, looking at selfies from places where you’re not, relying on an image essentially. It’s important to recognise the person they are now and to value them even when they’re apart from you. Moments over the phone can have the same level of profundity and importance to your relationship as a moment together, and it’s beneficial to recognise that. There are pitfalls to long distance; time difference, constantly missing each other etc. But there is something to be said in how it improves communication. Texts, calls, any kind of contact is so crucial that you have to make it count consistently and say everything you can when you can. It requires an openness that can only create healthier and more authentic connection between you. Least I think, I don’t know. I would never say long distance is easy, nor that it is for everyone. Going into it, you need to have absolute faith in the other person and belief in your relationship. It requires effort, commitment, trust, and understanding. But if you have that in your partner, at least in my experience, you’re pushed to make them a priority and communicate fully and vulnerably, which only helps you grow with them and learn both of your needs. I’ve found it to be enriching, fulfilling, and completing, and it has led to some of the happiest times of my life. So who knows, maybe give it a bash.
Daniel McKeon
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