Concrete issue 112 10 05 2000

Page 1

UEAto host naturist swimming 'OlymP-ics' By CAROLINE J EATER, Deputy Editor.

UEA has let slip its naked ambition to make the new Sportspark a success - by revealing plans to play host to naturist athletes from around the world. Skinny-dipping swimmers are keen to use the University' s new venue for theii annual European Naturist Swimming Championships when the competition returns to Britain. The campus was revealed as a pools in the country, and UEA is a popping out and flashing at people," possible setting for the competition very convenient choice for European joked Roger. when the bare essentials of the teams," explained British Naturism's ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• event were flashed out by British Sports Officer, Roger Johnson. Other news: Naturism - the UK arm of the naturist "lt is such a fantastic pool, and - Lord Sainsbury dies 3 we've been made $0 very welcome. - History exodus furore 5 UEA has bent over backwards to Enhanced - New semester system 7 accomodate us." And the chances of the Olympics The design of the new pool should of the naturist world coming to also help swing it for the University But if the contest does come to Norwich were enhanced alter and prevent students and locals Norwich, students will have to 'skin organisers stripped away rival pools getting an eyeful of the competitors. and bare' the fact they won't get the with less admirable assets - leaving "There were other sites but two of opportunity to take the plunge and them with a stark choice of venues them are surrounded by three sides participate. for the prestigious contest. "lt is not an all corners thing," he of glass, which we wouldn't even "There are only eight 50 metre consider. We wouldn 't want to be lamented , "You have to be a

member of British Naturists and qualify in the lead-up competitions." Despite not being able to join in, students seem to admire the bare cheek of the event.

Distraction "lt will be a good distraction. I don't think people will take offence, although some of the older lecturers may get a bit of a shock," giggled Laura Bumpus (BIO 1) But University Press Officer, Katy Jones, is confident that the competition will be free from any lewd behaviour that could offend. "We understand that naturist swimming is one of the few events where streakers will not be able to disrupt proceedings," she smiled.


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Concrete

WEDNESDAY, MAY

10, 200t

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Got a story? Let us know at the Concrete office•.. tel: 250558 email: su.concrete@uea.ac.uk .

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UEA cleans up Continued from page 1 " We are looking to be a milestone university for other institutions considering such things," said Finance Officer, Andy Marrio~.

" The University isn't jumping in unprepared. lt's not putting . e,veryone 's money into this because it would be foolhardy to do so," said Marriot. ' But the NION activists rare determined to lobby and take things further. " lt's a really good start for UEA's investment policy , but we 'll need staff and students to be actively · involved for years to come," warned Or Read. " Anyone who feels burningly about this issue should lobby the committee to try and · make sure that this policy works."

Police appeal POLICE ARE appealing for witnesses to a campus robbery over the Easter holidays. orwich C ID arc invc>t igati ng the incident, wh ich took place on Saturday. April 22. at arou nd 9.30pm. A 2 1 :ear old ;tudent wa!> wa lking from Waq:ncy Terrace towa rds Th e Street, usin g th e passage b~tween Nelson Cou rt and the Studio. She wa> approac hed by a man who a'kcd for the time. befo re snatc hing her walle t and mobi le phone. He ran ofT in the directi on of ebon Court. but threw back the item' when the \ ictim !>houtcd. everthcle'>s. police are st ill anxiou> to track him down. and ha\e arpcalcd for an) wi tncs>cs to come forwa rd. The attacker is desc ribed as he ing aged early to mid-20s. s· 10". and med ium build. \\ ith a >haved head and pale comp lc\ion. l ie wa, wearing a hlack jacket

O\'Cr

a '' hi tc

t-shirt . and dark trou,er'>. An) one with information 'hou ld telephone PC Weatherington on Norwich 768769. or Crilnc,toppcn. on 0800 55511 I .

Uni car P-ark P-lans hit logjam at Assembly By CLARE HAMILTON-EDDY, Assistant News Editor. STUDENTS AND staff have rejected University bosses' blueprint for the future of transport on campus, dismissing it as " unacceptable" . And in a major snub, UEA kingpins have been accused of being more interested in raising cash through parking charges than in dealing with the real issues. The dressing down comes includes delegates from more acceptable." in a report by members of every part of UEA. The new set of proposals the University's Assembly - a Proposals rejects previous plans to hit high level committee that car park users with big fees, "The University ·agreed a and calls on UEA to working party should be set encourage people to use alternative transport instead. up because it was felt by Assembly that the plans put " The basic idea of the report is that you can 't forward by the Executive charge for car parking unless Team of the University 1 were not really you have got some acceptable," explained alternatives," insisted Jean Boase-Bier, who headed up the inquiry into the original plans. "The working party's job was to produce a report wh ich was felt

Professor Boase-Bier. Measures in the new report include dishing out free bike hire or bus passes to students living off campus who choose not to drive in, building showers and secure storage for cyclists. And it calls for restrictions · on car parking to be made on the basis of geography rather than ability to pay.

Suspicion "There was a slight suspicion that car parking charges were going to be a way of making money and that

people would feel unhappy about that," explained Prof .. Boase-Bier. 1

Alternative Union representative, Andy Marriot, agreed that staff and students would be driven round the bend unless the University considered other viable options. " Something has got to be done as there are far too many cars on campus, but the working party's suggestions are far more realistic. lt is proposing a positive alternative," he said.


:oncrete

WEDNESDAY, MAY

NEWS 3

www.concrete-online.co.uk

10, 2000

Students foun uilty, in alarms case · but Montford still P-rotests innocence TWO UEA students have been prosecuted for maliciously setting off campus fire alarms. In two separate cases, Ritchie Bennett (HIS 1) and Jullan Montford (MGT 3) were charged and found guilty by Norwich magistrates of deliberately setting off false alarms. The prank alarms triggered off automatic call outs to firefighters, tieing up three fire tenders while brigade officers searched residences in vain for an emergency, and cost the University over £300 each. Bennett appeared before Norwich Magistrates on March 22, when he was found guilty and fined £100, and ordered to pay up £55 court costs. was dealt with

EA benefaCt 0 r dies aged 93

the following day, found guilty, and sentenced to 90 hours community service. The court also awarded £70 costs against him. Both students have been banned from campus residences. But according to Montford, he only set off the alarm after he smelt burning, fearing a fire.

Burning

"I'd smelt fire and my friend had smelt fire, which was why I set it off," he claimed "The University said I didn't take the

steps to make sure there was a fire, and not just something burning, but that's ridiculous." "If in doubt, press the alarm. I didn't know if I had time to check, I just panicked and hit the alarm," he insisted. "I still say I'm innocent. At the time I admitted setting it off, and I still admit I set it off. But I set it off because I thought there was a fire, and if it happened again I'd do it again." UEA bosses, though, maintain that they have to take a hard line on false call outs. "There are still stupid calls, where people think if they want to smoke in their rooms

they can unscrew the detector heads without realising that triggers the alarm," explained Security Co-ordinator, Ron Elliot.

Stupid "They are a concern because you get the same to that as response everything else, but the thing we are most concerned about is the deliberate pressing of break glass buttons. They put everyone at risk." "When people start to let their hair down after exams, that's when they start to feel less inhibited. They need to be aware what can happen," warned Mr Elliot. • Ritchie Bennett was unavailable for comment.

UNIVERSITY entered the Easter break in mourning, following the death of Sir Sainsbury. After a short illness. the 93-year old grocery magnate - who gave his name and his ecletic art collection to campus' Sainsbury Centre for Visual Arts- died on April 2. with his wife. Lady Lisa The generous couple were added Dr Hooper. Sir Robert donatt:d his honoured for their commllment to Vice·Chanccllor Vincent Watts of 400 objects to UEA in the arts last year. when orwich also paid tribute to the couple's City Council awarded them the generosuy. be housed in a landmark freedom of the city. paid for by h1s son, Sainshury. Stephen Hooper, Director of the "We are greatly saddened by the Sainsbury Research Unit. says Sir death of Sir Robcrt Sainsbury, Robert will be sorely m1ssed. whose energy and enthusia.'m have "They were a remarkable couple. the been a dri\ ing force behind some of the They would only buy things they the reg10n s most important personally liked and they set up the de,elopmcnts m the study and institutions because they were display of art," personall) interested." . - and in rc,oun.:cs, adding the "The centres he funded rcnect his Wing extension in 1993 per. onal interests and will continue establishmg the Sainsbury as lasting and popular mcmoriab to ''The) rejected a lot of works Unit undmo t recently the the memory of this kind and because they didn't like them. ll is Institute for the Study of generous man." said Mr Watts. 'cry mm:h a personal collection," Arts and Culture.

Enthusiasm

Donations

Personal

ICH


4 NEWS

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Hard Cheese 800 milking cows are set to be slaughtered If no buyer can be found for the Islay Cheese Company. The cows on the island of Hebridean, who are noted for producing cheese with aphrodisiac qualities, look like they may be heading for a sticky end.

Bull A former Russian MiG pilot is nervously anticipating his first bull fight, set to take place in Barcelona today. Roman Karpouhine who has spent the past two years practising in Spain, explained, " Flying a MiG fighter and facing a bull have similarities," he continues. "I have the greatest respect for the bull, just as I did for the MiG:'

Animal Magic The latest attempt to save Chinese pandas has raised a few eyebrows, if nothing else. The males have been dosed up with Viagra , 'the wonder drug', in order to save the species from extinction. According to an article in the Beijing Youth Daily: " Mating could now last for up to 20 minutes, whereas before the male ran out of steam after just 10 seconds.

Mighty High Trebor Bassett, the Birmingham based sweet company is launching a new version of its Mighty Mints due to complaints from anti-drug campaigners that the sweets closely resembled ecstasy tablets.

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USA Expanding The growth of America is having an expensive effect on the nation's sports arenas, subways, offices and opera houses they are being refurbished with larger seats, in order to accommodate the American bottom, as one in five Americans now qualify as obese.

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Two down, two to go LISA ELDRET, Union Academic Officer, has quit her job with only two months left to run . The shock move- announced on the eve of the Easter break- leaves the Union with just two of the four sabbatical officers in place, with only Welfare Officer, Claire Kober, and Finance Officer, Andy Marriot, left to run the organisation. Lisa has packed in the job to work for the Trade Union Congress on placement at USDAW, the shop workers ' un ion - a post she says couldn't wait.

Opportunity " it's an excellent job and an excellent opportunity. lt's the kind of work that I want to go into, but it has to start on April 25, and if I hadn't have taken it, it wouldn 't have come U!> again." "I' m going to be training with the TUC for a year, and so I couldn't start later. " But the decision to jump ship has been criticised by Students' Forum member lan Mackie, who ran against Lisa for Academic Officer last

year. " Lisa has let students down ," he thundered. " We're coming up to the busiest time of year for the Academic Officer, with final examinations and coursework." Despite the row, remain ing Union sabbs Claire Kober and Andy Marriot are confident that they can cope. "Lisa leaving has undoubtedly increased our workload, but at this stage in the year there's not as much proactive campaigning work to do," explained Claire.

Criticised " lt's week 11 , so things do tend to wind down in terms of going out and working with

students, but in terms of committee work and case work there will be more to do."


CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MAY

NEWS 5

www.concrete-online.co.uk

10, 2000

Off to the library...

Lack of funds forces HIS to scraR units By SARAH TAFT ANGRY HISTORY students are accusing school bosses of leaving their degrees in tatters after they scrapped crucial third year units. But History Dean, Edward Acton, claims that he simply doesn't have the cash to offer students the range of courses they deserve. international relations, An admin blunder means that medieval history special because for this generation it's eight lecturers are taking subject, but has admitted that now or never." sabbaticals next year, a replacement for Prof John jeopardising two third-year Charmley's international In the red special subject courses, which relations unit isn't up to are billed as the pinnacle of the scratch. " What we could do in the school's degree courses. " Students are quite right to long term is at least have someone else with the relevant Although academics had been reproach us. I'm very sorry we aware of the problem for some didn't make it abundantly expertise, but at the moment we're in the red so we just can 't time, students were informed clear that John Charmley just weeks before their third would be away, but we have do it," lamented Prof Acton. put in place a system to make In place of the dropped unit, year choices were due to be handed in. sure that this never happens students are being offered a again," assured Dean of new special subject on peace No options History, Prof Acton. and war in the twentieth

The history lecturers going on sabbaucal next academic year arc:

International Relations • Prof John Charmley (on leave all year)

British Politics • Dr S teven Cherry (on leave all year)

Ea rly Modern History • Dr John Biggan (on leave for one semester) • Dr Tom Williamson (on leave for one semester)

Medieval History • Dr John Amold (on leave for one semester) • Dr Mark Knights (on leave for one semester) • Dr Carol Rawcliffc (on leave for one semester) • Dr Andrew Wood (on leave all year)

o~~gryst~e~s~~ ~~r~~·~w~e~d~~~p~l~y~r~e~g~re~t~t~h~at~t~h~e~re~~~~n~~~ry~,~oir~a~n~E~A~S~u~n~~io~n~~~~~il~iiiiiiiii=~~

fine for lecturers to take .. sabbatical years, but students should be given at least two years notice." " People like me have chosen second year subjects thinking we could take international relations subjects next year and now we have no options," they railed. " Now we're having to make choices which are second rate." The School claims that two temporary appointments will enable them to offer the

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rights.

Cut & Blow Dry just

imely honour By KATIE HIND ONE OF Britain 's best-known authors and a key player in UEA's medical school b id are among the top dogs getting gongs in this year 's batch of honorary degrees. Oxford author Martin Ami'>, who~e books include London Fields and Bookcr Pritc shortlbted lime's

with this ad!

Arrow. will get be made a Doctor of Letters during graduation this July. UEA graduate and Whi tbread Award nominated au thor Rose Trcmain is also in line for a LittD to mark her literary nair, an honour that also goes to local biographer Richard Holmes. Malcolm Stamp, Chief Executive

of the Norfo lk and Norwich Heal th Care Trust will be rewarded for over~eeing the building of Norwich's new hospital with an honorary DCL. He has also been a long-term supponer of the Schools of Health,

and a leading figure in UEA's bid for a new medical 'chool.

Thrilled Mr Stamp. who didn't go to uni,ersity. b thrilled with hi' degree. He \aid : .. , feel very privileged and honoured to be granted the award. it was a big surprise for me ." .. , only heard that I would be getting the degree \cry recently - it didn't even enter 111} head that I might get one," he added.

Privileged Others set to receive honorar} degrees include the ex-director of the John lnncs centre, Professor Dick Flavall, and UEA's former Honorary Professor of Statistics, Professor Toby Lewis. All 13 of the graduates will pick up their prizes alongside graduating students at Congregation ceremonies on July 12. 13 and 1-t .

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6 NEWS

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Loans late STUDENT LOAN payments have been put at risk yet again after another hitch with the system 's computers. Cheques were late last year aft er the Student Loans Company failed to gel their databases ready in time to swop in fo rmati on with local education authorities. This year. the troubled company were more than a fo rtni ght late issu ing th e crucial data to cou nci ls. after they underestimated the time needed to tes t th eir revamped soft ware. Bu t a spokeswoman for th e SLC insisted th at students would not be affected by the glitch. ·The data hel d in the data base does not affec t the capabil ity of LEAs to process applica tions at thi s stage:· she claimed.

Techno bills THE RISE of the internet is having a disastrous effect on universities, because students are chalking up massive bills downloading email, music and computer games. Most universities are connected to the net via Janet - the Joint Academic Network - but although students are not charged to access the information s uperhi gh way, their colleges are. The total bill for Internet access across the UK is a whopping £3m, and experts estimate that £450,000 of that is paying for students using the network for fun. According to Janet figures , Oxford and Cambridge are the worst hit un is, forking o ut £20,000 a year each just for leisure.

School of Chemical Sciences

N~A~;~n=b~l~e~e~~""' yot~~"" '"~' ;~, write off

elected - but the Union is still without a Communications

Officer after students rejected sole candidate Colin Moore for the third time in an end of term ballot. 7:i2 stud..:nt-, lllrnl.'d nut to cast their \Ote in th..: eb:tions on Thursda). March 30. just ,ix per cent or the electorate. But ~\ ~n thusc \\ hn did take pan in the \ otc siH>\\ cd the ir dissatisfaction \\' ilh th~ candidates on oll!.!r. '' ith at

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to Re -Open Nominations for each post. That

polling a pallt) J)g \ otcs - k" c:\ c:n than the I ~C spoil t papcrs.

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for RON 111 th~ latest rnund in the Cotnnts l·iasco. "ith (\>lin f\ loote

Of the posts. Publici!) Orticer \\'" the most hot!~ ullll~steJ. \\ ith P~tc l .arge taking Sa~eth 1-l"dclatli to a sec·onJ round. but linall~ lost oul h~ a m cl\'

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" 11 h :2(1(1 \ otc:-.

Cotnrnunit) and International Oflicer we nt to Toh) Mall hews \\' ith 3~7 votes. wit h Claire Saunders beaten into second place on 269

offer. \\ ith the highest ever nutnhc:r of RO/S: votes and spoi lt papers in a Union election.

Spoilt

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Casey R) an easil) fended off ri\ 'tls Lucy 1-larrigan and I an t--lackie to take the Ell\ ironmenl Oflicer portfolio \\'ith a I ~:l vote rnajorit~ .

The _10h of O\ersceing Union sport \\ cnl to Mad, Atkinson. after he muted Richard Clark b) _1-+2 \PlC\ \l) ~62.

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)Car"s team\\ ill be: Clubs and Societies. lbi Gnwan: Commun ity & lmcrnat ional. Tob) Mat thews: en\ irontnenl. Casey R}an: Internal \!"fairs. ~cd Glasier: NL"S. \kli"a ,\brehan: \tl~line \oki: 0\crsea'. Pnhlicil~. Sarah Hatldatlt: Sports. Mark ,\tkinsun: \\om~n·s. Lee Wchslcr. :"-le~ I

By ELIN JONES

COFFEE AND creativity went hand in hand last month c; a 24-hour writing session run by UEA students an' staff. The caffeine-fuelled literary marathon - with a vat c hyper-strong espresso from Starbucks - aimed to show day in the life of a writer, with the hacks' equipment o display as much as the scribes themselves. Three MA students made up the core of a 12-strong team of writers battling against the clock.

Project Creative Writing students Andrew Proctor, Jane Monson and Kate North were roped into undertaking the project by part-time Creative writing lecturer David Lambert, who dreamt up the event. " lt was more successful t han we possibly imagined, over 500 people came through the doors and about 100 of them sat down to write," grinned David. In fact, the event proved so popular that he is hoping to

take the project up a gear. " lt would be great to mak this an annual event. I've als been looking into th possibility of taking the ide to other cities such a Sheffield, which also has high ly respected creat iv writing course at th University."

Competing

Th e original idea cam from a similar event held i London's Groucho club, bl Instead of isolate, professionals competing fc money, Norwich's take on th event is more of a " day in th life of writing " and a chanc for the people of Norwich t pick up a pen for themselvel


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Uni bosses scraPautumn exams By JAMES GOFFIN, News Editor STUDENTS WILL be forced to do more exam cramming after UEA academics decided to press ahead with plans to ditch autumn semester exams. The new timetable is supposed to ensure that teaclling in the spring semester is finished before the Easter break, but was condemned by students as a return to finals when it wa\ put forward last year. Under the scheme, Mudcnh will either have to take all coursework units in the autumn. or face exams for a whole year's work in June. There will also be more year-long units.

Paper work But according to University chiefs, the move is essential to stop staff getting tied up with paperwork when they should be teaching. "llowcver it is for the students. for faculty you are marking work for the first two weeks of the teaching period in January, and it is an impossible situation trying to start up new courses and mark exams and project work from the previous semester." clatmed UEA's Director of Undergraduate Studies.

Surgery at risk A POLICE surgery on campus could be lost unless students and staff take up the service. University Liasion Officer PC Richard Bell set up the fortnightly session last term to help build relations between UEA and the police, but has been disappointed by the poor response. The informal sessions take place on Wednesday lunchtimes in the Dean of Students Office, with PC Bell available to take reports on crimes, give crime prevention advice or help students . interested in a career in the force. "These are informal sessions to . make it easier for people to contact the police," explained PC Bell. "Even if people don't want to report things officially, they can just pop in and make me aware of any problems they might . have." "I've got resources until the end of this term, but after that the sessions will be reviewed." The next session is pencilled in for Wednesday, May 17.

Richard Crockau. "Also a lot of people don't like the broken back second semester. Under the new system, most years we will be ahle to get 12 weeks in between Christmas and Easter." The move wa' agreed h} outgoing Union Academic Officer. Lisa Eldrct, who rcchms the change will benefit students. "ll will be good to get away from exams after Christmas, because I don't think students perform as well as in the summer," suggested Lisa. ''Moving over to year long units also allows people to go into things in more depth." But that flies in the face of the views of students at the sharp end, with many worried that testing autumn semester courses in the

summer will prove too 'lressful. "I think Lhat it's a really bad idea. It\ not getting the hest from Mudents as there is !>O much of a gap in between the beginning of the autumn semester and the end of the spring:· complained Ailsa Hemming ( B 10 I). "It's a terrible idea. There's no way that you're going to remember all the information from the autumn.'' agreed Sarah Blow (CHE 3).

Control And Kclly Phillips (MGT I) is anxious that students will have less control over their degree. "Courses available to students will become less varied if there arc more full year courses," she said.

Winning ways A FORMER Concrete journalist has won a presitigious press award at a glittering London ceremony. Caroline Jenkinson, a reporter on Norwich's Evening News took top honours in the BT London and Home Counties Daily News Journalist of The Year awards, at a ceremony in the capital last week. As well as a £250 cheque national final, to be held in and trophy, Caroline will also Kensington in June. now be entered for the She was awarded the gong - - - - , jointly with fellow UEA alumni Sarah Holmes, for the p a i r · s investigation into Norwich City Councillor Julian Swainston's property affairs, discovering he owed £2,500 of rent arrears to the local authority. "I worked up through listings editor to film and theatre on Concrete, and it really helped me get into journalism college," said Caroline.

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ENV wins funds for new centre By CLARE HAMILTON-EDDY, Assistant News Editor. UEA HAS been confirmed as the country's lead ing research centre in environmental sciences after beating off f ierce competition to secure two separate funding bids. The nive rsit y wi ll host the new Tyndall C lim ate Ce ntre, lau nchi ng c li mate change research int o another di me nsio n. And he stressed the va lubl e Scienti sts at the centre wi ll study the effec t of clim ate chan ge on knock-on effe cts to stu dent s of hav ing the nat ion·s cli mate change society and the environment , research base on their door step. expl oring th e new tec hno logies "it means th at th ere will be a pool needed to manage th is change. of knowledge that is avail able in Th ree U K Research Counci Is the atural Environment. the E V and a lot of th is wi ll fi lter th rough to stude nts:· Eco nomi c and Soc ial and th e The announcement came as UEA Engineering and Phys ical Sciences - have awa rd ed a £ I 0 mi ll ion sc ient ists ce lebrated another contract for the new cen tre which wind fa ll - thi s ti me to bu ild th e new will be led by UEA. in pa rtnership Institute for Conn ec tive Environment al Research (I CE R). with nine other top uni s. The multi -m illi on pound fundi ng Expertise will provide ex tra space for the "The Tyndall Ce ntre i'> bringing School of Environme ntal Studi es as together some of the bc>t expert ise we ll as housing the Tynda ll Centre. in th e UK,'' boasted Dr Mi ke " We are res pond ing to the need 10 deve lop partne rshi ps with ll ulme, who will run the centre. " lt adds an C\ tra dimension to in dustry. businc". and govern ment our ex pertise. and makes UEA an age ncies at all level>.. to dea l with even more att rac ti \'c place for the threats. cha ll enges and in terested in th e opportunit ies we all face:· people env ironment,'' he added. explained Professor Tre\ or D3\ ics.

A model of the new Tynda/1

Dean of EN V. Out go ing Uni on Academi c Offi cer. Lisa Eldret, welcomed th e extra cash. hut ca uti oned aga in st forge ttin g the pi oneerin g work being done elsewhere on campus.

Profile "Sc ience re>earch mo ney is always high profi le, because a lot of it co mes from business. hut when it comes to be in g researc h led. Engl ish and Ame rica n Studies is one of the bes t ce nt res in th e cou ntry. and Economic and Social St udies has exce ll ent researc h too." " it's not ncce>Sarily that there is less be ing do ne. it's just not as hi gh prolile as on the '>cicnce -,idc."

Dropping in By CLARE HAMILTON-EDDY, Assistant News Editor UEA FUNDRAISERS are looking to reach new heights when the campus plays host to the Norfolk's b iggest charity event of t he year, Abseil 2000. The event could smash a world record and mark t he millennium by abseiling 1,000 people down the 75ft wall of the Arts Building, nearly twice the number of wall -walkers notched u p at last year's event. High flyers Mike Stamford, David Federl and Mary White, aim to raise as much dosh as possible for Great Ormond Street Hospital and

the Big C Cancer Appeal. " We hope to raise over £25,000 to be split between the two charities,'' enthused Stamford, UEA 's Mike Campus Services Manager.

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" The very fi rst record attempts were made here at UEA in 1997. The annual event has gone from strength to stren gth every year since then." " Students have been tremendous supporters of the event through thick and thin," he added. St reet Great Orm ond organiser, David Federl added his voice to calls for students to take part, insisting that it is a date not to be missed. " Students shou ld give themselves a day's break from exam revision, enjoy themselves and have a cheap beer,'' he joked.

And it seems like there are quite a few daredevils already keen to test the ropes. " We have got quite a few students registering everyday now, but we are hoping that more will turn up and register on_the day."

Record For those keen to relieve t he exam stress and smash the record, there will also be craft stands, a fun fair, entertainers, hog roast, and a giant widescreen TV so that football enthusiasts will not have to miss the FA Cup Final, followed by live bands and fi reworks in the evening. Abseil 2000 will take place on May 20 from Barn to midnight. For furth er informati on call : 01603 619900 or 01508 571277.


- -- ---- - - - - CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MAY

LETTERS/ LEADERS 9

www.concrete-online.co.uk

10, 2000

(<~l~.~,l~.ii~

Leaders

Leaders

Issue 112

A good start

Editor . James Tapsfield Deputy Editors Mark Edwards Caroline Jeater

The power of student pressure has been shown by UEA's bosses decision to change their investment plans. The decision to rule out companies that profit from arms dealing is a one fit for an organisation that is supposed to be interested in educating and informing, rather than the suppression of = = = = = ~~~ minorities by repressive regimes. But the small print reveals that despite -the best intentions of many Assembly members, the University bureaucracy has by no means undergone a complete conversion to the benefits of . ethical investment, wit~ only a tiny proportion of the institution's £16m investments being trialled in ethical funds. lt's a good start, but only that.

News Editor James Goffin Assistant News Editor Clare Hamilton-Eddy Assistant Features Editor Will Halsey Sports Editor Nick Henegan Creative Writing Editor Kris Siefken Web Editor Pete Chapman Ad manager Jane Kirby Distribution Manager James Graham Editorial Contributors Sarah Taft, Elin Jones, Katie Hind, Alex McGregor, Geraint Edwards, Tim Oliphant, Katharine Everitt, George Walker, Simon Cave, Neil Ferris, Laura Singleton, Christine Davias, Alex Kenning, Martin Rosenstock, Catherine Jones Illustrations Pete Large Ph.otographers Russell Burton, Nick Henegan, Caroline Jeater, Mark Edwards, James Tapsfield, Jane Kirby Copy Editing WendyTse

History exodus UEA's motto boasts of excellence in teaching and research, but the timetabling balls up by the School of History has led to one cancelling out the other. Lecturers need to take time off to study, and remain at the forefront of their subject. lt helps their teaching and it helps their students. · The school has protested that many of the staff involved have not taken leave for several years, but that is no consolation for final year students who need skilled, dependable tutors, not temporary appointments with little knowledge of the University's courses nor any rapport with current students.

And finally... Although the weather's certainly hotting up, and students are shedding clothes faster than cash , no one's gone so far as to strip off completely - let alone go for a dip in The Square's pond. But the news that a naturist swimming competition could be headed for UEA means all that could be about to change although we should bear in mind that as the event will be closed to the public, and is pencilled in for a chilly October date, there might not be an awful lot to see anyway. Apart from a few embarrassed red cheeks, the naturist gala will bring some welcome cash to UEA, and if the University can keep room rents down with the help of people stripping off, let's have more of it.

Letters to the Editor PO Box 410, UEA, NR4 7TB Tel 01603 250558 Fax 01603 506822 e-mail su.concrete@ uea.ac.uk

Ethical overload? don't normally feel compelled to write to papers but it seems that a minority, or maybe a majority of UEA students only interest is to campaign against inethical investment. How many normal students actually care where entry funds come from, surely the idea of buying shares is to make a profit and GEC seem to be wise on investment as any. But it seems no matter what the university does there will always be some tree loving hippy art student with too much time on their hands moaning about it. So please do us all a favour and get on with your degree and leave the university to run itself in the most profitable way and you never know you might get a life.

I

We are looking for a new Advertising Manager for next year.

A bored Chemistry student.

DTP James Tapsfield, Caroline Jeater, Mark Edwards, Nick Henegan Page 22 story© Mike Wilson 2000. Thanks this issue to: Andy Tyler & Aston Villa

Thanks to: UH Stewards, everyone ECN Concrete is published by the Union of UEA Students. Opinions expressed are those' of the Contributor and not necessarily those of the Publisher or Editor. Use of the name 'The Event' appears by arrangement with the copyright holders, Planet Zog Ltd. No part of this newspaper may be reproduced or transmitted through any means including James' jumper, end of term essays or injured deputy eds without the express permission of the Editor. Printed by Eastern Counties Newspapers Ltd , Norwich, Norfolk NR1 1RE. © Concrete 2000.

Reading up am writing to express my disagreement with the opinion,expressed several times in the Weds. March 15 edition (Issue 111 ), including by Professors from HIS and SOC ,that Concrete made no serious mistakes in its now infamous article on the BNP in Norwich (or at least, no mistakes which could have warranted the Student Union to act as it did in attempting to suppress the edition). I think one such serious mistake was made: tbe reprinting of the BNP leaflet such that it was clearly visible, Including the BNP phone number and web address. This in effect constituted the provision of free advertising to the BNP. This isn't an issue of free speech: I just don't think a university newspaper should be providing the BNP with free advertising! Thus, while I agree absolutely wholeheartedly that Concrete must retain editorial independence, and I don't think that the content of the piece on the BNP was seriously morally problematic, I do hope that whatever prudent steps are being taken as a result of this dispute will lead to no such mistake occuring again. Sincerely yours,

I

Dr. Rupert Read.

soc Please mark your letters for the attention of the Editor, James Tapsfleld

To do the job you will need to be enthusiastic, committed, persuasive, personable, and able to work to tight deadlines. If you fit the bill, and think that you could sell £30,000 worth of advertising next year, then send your CV with a covering letter to: James Tapsfield, Editor Concrete PO Box 410

UEA NR4 7TB

Pay will be commission-based.


10 13 14 15

Sexual misadventures London bound Death penalty debate Flying lesson

'

c/s Featured words 18 Photostor" 20 C-wo

For the women involved Captain Fantasy's success co uld be seen as the result of bad luck, or, more likely, astonishing gullibility. Another frightful case of gullibility occurred in Austral ia, where a woman known only as Miss B was conned by a rich man using a plastic secret agent badge. Bernie Wagner assumed the identity of a government agent and set about recruitin g the woman to for his agency. He then taxed

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David Wylie was found in the grounds of a convent with some lubricant and a copy of filthy Habits, featuring nuns.

And it hurts some people far more than others. Will Halsey looks through some of the more outlandish sexual misadventures and how they went wrong ... ormal. A difficult word to define, and when it comes to sex, 'normal' is even harder to fathom . According to our, recent UEA sex survey, 'normal ' is in public for about half an hour, three times a week. But for others in this world , Earlham Road's pavement is frankly tame in terms of getting their kicks. Vito Bustone and Kiki Rodriguez's brush with arson is certain ly unlikely to be repeated on most University campuses. The two gentlemen were involved in love-play with their gerbil Faggot and a well placed cardboard tube. As usual , when Kiki had had enough, he shouted "Armageddon'"· but on this occasion the gerbil refused to exit. The real problems began when Vito lit a match to help him locate the animal , igniting some intestinal gas which burned his moustache and face .

N

Ulicsny's lawyer put it down to his client's butterfly-collecting fetish, but psychiatric help followed regardless. Unfortunately, it also set fire to the gerbil, which in turn lit up more gas and propelled Faggot out like a small hairy cannonball , breaking Bustone's nose. As he later conceded, "Lighting the match was my big mistake." lt is unlikely that Geri Halliwell had anything like this 1n mind recently when she spoke to teenagers from around the world abou t safe sex . She also failed to mention the hazards of over-exertion, although even if the ginger popster had delivered a stern warning on this precise topic, it would have come too late for Felix Faure. The French exPresident had a special 'sex chair' designed to help him make particularly hard foreign policy decisions. Unfortunately, his heart gave way while he was using the special seat, and he perished. lt remains unconfirmed if his partner said afterwards, "I didn't know if he was coming or going". Although there is clearly some danger in

fornicati ng with a partner, it seems much more can go wrong if you are left to your own devices with urges to quell. John Ulicsny of Salisbury achieved his sexual satisfaction by hiding naked in bushes and spying on women 's legs and feet as th ey walked past. His fun was ended by the law after he stumbled into some brambles and was forced to jump out, badly scratched, in front of a woman who was walking her dog. Ulicsny's lawyer put it down to his client's butterfly co llecting fetish , but psychiatric help followed regardless. More fatally , in Thailand , a bicycle pump craze among men ended in tragedy when one young man's lust got out of control. Finding that your ordinary, common or garden pump no longer put 'air in his tyres', so to speak, Mr Charnchai moved on to a two cylinder foot pump. Still not satisfied with the degree of stimulation he was achieving, he decided to visit a :ocal petrol station. Unfortunately, Charnchai did not realise how powerful the machine was, and died as soon as he placed th e coin in th e slot. Passers by were shocked by the incident, except one woman who thought it was a firework display and starting applauding. The pump craze was blamed on Satan in Thailand, and closer to home the devil was also held responsible for the actions of David Wylie , found in the grounds of a convent with a bicycle, some lubricant and a pornographic magazine, Filthy Habits, featuring nuns. The quote from the convent spokeswoman - "it's not the kind of thing you expect to see outside a convent window first thing in the morning" - displayed an exceptional talent for understatement. The UEA sex survey, while highlighting a surprising tendency for threesomes and other such debauchery, contained nothing so vulgar, although some did admit to Churchyard canoodling. Happily, most also stated they had not been forced into sex, a problem that police in the USA had to deal with in searching for Raymond Mitchell. The 45 year old became known as Captain Fantasy after phoning women late at night and pretending to be their boyfriend. He used the excuse of a cold to explain his voice, then

instructed the woman to unlock the door, and lie in bed blindfolded and naked with jelly adorning her nipples. Mitchell would subsequently enter both house and woman, before leaving. This happened to one woman twice a week for two months before she found out it wasn't her boyfriend at all. Unfortunately for the police, the sex was consenting, presenting a problem when it came to criminal charges. However, Police Officer Morgan Fletcher was confident. ''We're bound to be able to get him on something," was the official line.

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instructions from 'a senior officer' telling her to sexually stimulate the con man in order to cure his 'termin al illness'. This began with phone sex, but she was soon flown out to service him in person. Miss B was paid $1 ,200 a month for this work, and also received a $200 sexy underwear allowance. One year later, she was sent a lax stating that Wagner had died despite her best efforts . Th e affair only came to light when she visited government offices to offer her condolences . it just goes to show that with the strange sexual misadventures going on around the world , there really is no 'normal'. But it's probably best to avoid gerbils , Jello, and secret agents. 'Whatever floats your boat' can only go so far.

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1




CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MAY

FEATURED 13

www.concrete-online.co.uk

10, 2000

on ea 1n Jobs, money, where to live - these are the joys of life Iter graduation. Emma Newbery discusses the ups and downs of surviving the post university life ... t's almost exactly a year ago that I came back from the Easter break and got so scared by the letter in my pigeon hole that I made an appointment with those gurus of labour, the careers centre. I'm certainly no guru, but the past nine months have taught me a thing or two. If you know what you want to do, the careers centr& is great. You'll find a veritable Aladdin's cave of information about your chosen path. They'll tell you the works - the qualifications you need, the skills that would be useful and the courses you can do to get them. But for someone who was still trying to figure out what she wanted to do and where she wanted to do it, the how didn't even get a look in. But it was probably a bit na"ive to expect someone who. had never met me before to tell me what I wanted to do. Whatever else you use them for, they do have tips about interview technique and professional eyes to look over your CV which are useful no matter what you want to do. A note on your CV: it's worth asking one of your tutors before you leave whether they mind if you use them as a reference. For me, when I got tired of juggling notions of

I

Employers are more impressed by someone who applied ror some different jobs and gave a few things a try. travelling, teaching, writing and charity work, I decided to move to London and temp. That way I could get experience in different working environments and be paid for it at the same time. And it got everybody off my back for a while. lt didn't work out that way at all as the temporary position at the Electricity Pool soon became permanent and I stayed there for three months before moving on to the dot corn world. I missed a lot of the problems that tamping can bring - you can't depend on having work every day of the week and you're never in one place long enough to get to know people. You also don't get sick days or holidays (although that

is changing now, Kelly offer holiday pay to people who have worked for them for a certain amount of time). All that said, it is a great fall back- brush up your techie skills, make sure you can print labels from word and you're bound to find work of some sort somewhere. As a plan, I have to admit it wasn't the best. Short term, it helped me move to London , and gave me a great base. But if I had got round to getting in some applications before I graduated, I'd have had a much better picture of what was in store - and a lot more choice over where I ended up. If you don't know what you want to do, ultimately it doesn't matter what jobs you apply for, they're all good experience. If you apply for a position in waste disposal and hate it, you can leave. In the meantime you will have learnt a few more skills, and when you go to the next interview you'll have a clearer picture about where you want to be going. From what I have seen, employers are more impressed by someone who applied for some different jobs and gave a few things a try, than someone who drifted in and out of temping work. The other thing, which may sound strange, is that it's easier to look for work when you're working. No matter how determined you are, without the input.from other people and

a reason to get up in the morning, it is very easy to let things slide into a very long weekend. And while it may sound fun, you won't be able to go out, or do half the things you want to do, because a lot of the things on offer in London (or elsewhere) cost money. Having cash coming in is pretty important, 'cos you're sure gonna pay a lot out. I stayed with my parents for the summer, and worked to save up a bit before I came. Most places pay a month in arrears, and most rents have to be paid a month in advance - which means you have to build up some reserves pretty quickly. it's worth visiting your bank before you leave Norwich, to see what will happen to your overdraft when you graduate. HSBC, though not the most ethical of banks, are very understanding when it comes to graduates. You get to pay off your overdraft over a three-year period, and they even told me that I could give them a ring if I needed to extend it to put a deposit down or anything. Moving to London is an interesting option. There

I decided to go to London and temp, get experience of working in different environments and get everybody off my back for a while. are jobs and people galore in this city. But, as you may have gathered, unless you are lucky enough to have parents who live nearby, you're gonna need a pretty hefty wad of cash. For a flat you will need a month's rent in advance, a months rent deposit and a minor handling fee. When you think that £85 a week is a good rate, you're looking at about £700 before you've even started. 11 may sound obvious, but don't forget all the questions about gas, fire proofing and damp that you asked in Norwich. And don't forget to take a good look at the transport around the area. lt's also worth narrowing your search down to the areas where you want to live. If the rent's cheap and the flat's in the nether regions of zone five, you're going to spend a fortune getting in and out of work, and you'll probably end up having to take taxis home late at night. Places go like hot cakes. We found the best way to look was to take a day off, buy the morning papers and the latest copy of Loot and get on the phone to arrange as many viewings as possible. Then make up your mind quickly, because if you want any of them, you'll need to put a deposit down within the next few days. Once you've got your flat, and you've found a job, there's not so much different from Norwich. More strangers to talk to on the tube, more places to go maybe. But it's not half as scary as it seemed to me·a year ago, just a new beginning and a different place. As I said to begin with, I'm no guru, but I do know this. There doesn't have to be this rush to get on and find that ideal job, there are hundreds of jobs, and you're not going to find the perfect one first time. Be prepared to work at it to a point, and then leave. In the end, you'll only be unhappy if you settle for something you don't want to do.

Edward Moses (UEA EAS Graduate 1999) 1) Don't take the first thing you are offered, and take a lot of time to consider where the company is going and what it can offer you. You are in a powerful position: two thirds of companies are currently looking for people at the moment in the UK, so take your time. 2) If you are going to use agencies, use a maximum of two and make sure they run through all the roles with you before sending your CV off. You don't want your CV being sent to companies you are not interested in working for - it looks bad on you and companies hate it. 3) If you know of a company you want to work for or are interested in, call them, speak to their Human Resources mangager, tell them you want to work there an sell yourself in - companies like to take on people who do this. Emma·Shotton (UEA SaC Graduate 1999) If you have a car and you're moving to London, don't bother bringing it with you. lt is actually easier and quicker to travel by public transport most bf the time, or even by bike. You're also unlikely to get a parking space at work, so the car will mostly sit redundant unless your job actually requires the use of one. Bridget Newbery (Southampton ENV Graduate 1996) 1) Have a very clear idea about what you're trying to get. 2) If you need more training then get it now, otherwise you'll end up pissing around for a couple of years and still be in exactly the same place when you stop and look around again. 3) Get the experience by doing voluntary work if necessary. 4) Tamping is good for administrative and computer experieace, but don't stay just for the money if it's not what you want to be doing. 5) Be open minded. Don't dismiss opportunities. Remember transferrable skills. 6) Send off for application forms and job specs even if you're not ready to apply for the jobs yet, just to see what you need to be able to offer. 7) Network, use your contacts. 8) Get a good CV together. I got a couple of interviews/ potential jobs just because people liked the layout! Anneke van Eljkern (Southampton ENV Graduate 1996) If you don't know what you want to do yet go travelling, inspiration came to me in a blinding flash! If you do know what you want to do go travelling anyway, it'll put an entirely different perspective on things, and if you still want to stick to your original plan after you come back then you'll know you're super committed! Also borrow clothes for graduation (if you're unlikely to wear them ever again) and then take them back to the shop and get your money back! James Curtis (UEA SaC Graduate 1998) Be prepared to try different jobs - and if you can help it, don't leave one without knowing where you-'re moving on to.


14 FEATURED

www.concrete-online.co.uk

C ONCRETE

WEDNESDAY, MAY 10, 2000

Capital punishment has been illegal in Britain since 1968, and soon European legislation may make its reintroduction impossible. Here, Geraint Edwards argues for the death penalty, while Tim 0/iphant says we are better off without it. apital Punishment is not as much of an issue in Great Britain as it is in America, and yet many leading British politicians support it's reinstatement. Over the last decade the spate of highly publicised violent murders in Britain has led to a growing unease about the effectiveness of our prison system and our me thods of dealing with cri me effectively. There are many reasons why we might want to reintrodu ce capital punishment into this country. Some would say that cost is certainly an issue. Indeed, executing our most dangerous prisoners could reduce some of the burden placed upon the tax payer for keeping them fed in prison . But I will not advocate this argument, simply because we are dealing with peoples lives and we should not equate them with cost-cutting. Neither wi ll I say th at deterrence is a part icularly strong argumen t for capita l punishment. Crime rates do not accurately reflect people being dissuaded. Yet there are still many supporters for capital punishment. So why should we advocate such a system? Firstly, the classic argument put forward against capital punishment is misconceived. Many people are against the death penalty because th ey feel that innocent people will be wrongfully execu ted. But th ere are many safeguards that cou ld protect the righ ts of those faci ng the death penalty in America. For example , capital punishment should be imposed only for a crime for which the death penalty is proscribed; persons below 18 years of a age, pregnant women, new mothers and persons who have become insane should not be sentenced to death. Capital punishment should be imposed only when guilt is determined by clear and convincing evidence

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magine waking up every morning and remembering that you have nothing left to look forward to but a terrifyin9!y painful and humiliating death . Th is is reality for hundreds of thousands of people awaiting execution in 87 countries around the world . These countries, mostly in the Third World, but including that supposed bastion of human rights , the USA, don't just kill their own citizens. They subject them to an agonising wait, in which what life th ey have left is co mpletely drained of meaning. To live in the present is to be suffocated by fear. And as for the future - it no longer exists . To murder is not only to take away one person 's life ; it is also to cheapen the value of life itself. it is a terrible crime . But the state has no more right to commit it than anyone else. The argument th at anti-abolitionists trot out over and over again is that "justice" must be seen to be done . "An eye for

leaving no room for an alternative explanati on of the facts . Capital punishment should be carried out only after a final judgement rendered by a competent court, allowing all possible safeguards to the defendant, including adequate legal assistan ce. Anyone sentenced to death should receive the rig ht to appeal to a court of higher jurisdiction. Anyone sentenced to death should have the right to seek pardon or co mmutation of the sentence. In Ameri ca , only 35 people a year are executed and according to research in 1987, only 23 wrongful executions were carried out in the twentieth Century. Interestingly, in 1992, one out of

every 11 convicts on Death Row had a previous conviction for murder. I would argue for capital punishment for three reasons: retribution , protection and mercy. When we hear of a particularly brutal murder and hear of how the murderer will be sentenced to life imprisonment, we know that they will come out eventually on parole. Society feels the need for justice to be seen to be done. Not only does this give us more fa ith in our own justice system , but it also teaches us to respect it. Retribu tion is criticised for being inhumane and barbaric, yet murder itself is barbaric. How would you feel if your best friend was murdered or a member of

for li

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To murder is not only to take away one person's life; it is also to cheapen the value of life itself. lt is a terrible crime. But the state has no more right to commit it than anybody else. an eye, a tooth for a tooth", they say. Thi s is primitive th inking to say the least. Ideas of this kind are put about by those who are too excited by the thought of "evil people" being burned alive to examine their own consciences. As a well established US lawyer somewhat chillingly wrote:

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.-.~-~.:;:.Chester Gil/ette in the electric chair, March 30, 1908

ainst "There are people on talk shows who argue that there should be an electric chair installed in the courtroom during a capital trial , so as soon as the verdict is rendered they could strap the guy in and fry him ." The truth is that the death penalty helps no one. it makes vengefulness a supreme virtue, and perpetrates a culture of bloodlust and savagery (the very thing s it is supposed to be deterring) . it implies contempt for the humanist and Christian values of love, forgiveness and compassion. And it has no effect on the murder rate at all . After abolition in Canada in 1975, the homicide rate per 100,000 actually fell from 3.09 in that year to 2.41

in 1980. it was still falling in 1993 (2 .19). Th e other point about executi ng someone is that you can only do it once. So if you later find out that they were innocent, you can 't really apologise and let them go. They are dead , and you have destroyed another family . A 1987 study conc luded that 350 people convicted of capital crimes in the US between 1900 and 1985 were innocent. 23 of these people were actually put to death . The real figures, though , were probably far higher. How can even death penalty supporters advocate the continuation of a system that murders so blindly? Or maybe it isn 't that blind. Over 50 per cent of

your family taken from you? Would you feel better that the murderer might be out on parole years later when they might re-offend? The punishment should fit the crime. People should be more conscious of the penalties they will face and the death penalty makes th at plainly clear. Capital punishment also offers us protection. We would feel safer knowing that a killer would no longer trouble us. Execution ultimately prevents re-

We should look at our prison system. Are conditions good? If so, why should a murderer deserve them? If not, isn't the death penalty a mercy? offending and thus prevents others having to suffer the same crimes . Only the fina lity of the death penalty can guarantee that for us. Finally, we should look at our prison system. Are the conditions good? If so, why should a murderer deserve them ? If not, isn't the death penalty a mercy? Should they be sent to a harsh environment where they may kill fellow inmates or even wardens? I'm sure there are murderers who learn from their mistakes and seek to do no further wrong but they are , sadly, a minority . I think about these arguments and find capital punishment to be a convincing remedy for serious crime . And yet in October it will no longer be possible to think about introducing it. As individuals, murderers will have statutory protection against the death penalty - a 'right to life' their victims were denied.

Death Row inmates in the USA are poor nonwhites. And studies have conclusively and repeated ly proved that race and status has a huge influ ence not only on th e decision to seek the death penalty, but also who ends up on trial in the first place. The death penalty is the ultimate reflection of inequality in society. it is there to make well off people with safe, comfortable lives feel protected from those who are marginalised , and from those who ask too many awkward questions. lv1umia Abu -Jamal's case is an obvious example. He is to die in Philadelphia on August 17 having been convicted in 1982 of shooting a policeman who was beating up his brother. Eyewitness accounts of another person fleeing the scene were ignored during his trial, and he was even denied the right to defend himself because the judge claimed that his dreadlocks would scare the jurors. Mumia was a high profile radio journalist and antiracist campaigner during the 1970s and was constan tly harassed by the police. The fate that awaits him if he is not saved is horrific . There are countless reports of prisoners taking up to 20 minutes to die from lethal injections, and those electrocuted routinely, according to witnesses , defecate, urinate, and vomit blood . Often after two or three jolts the doctors still find a heartbeat . Any society th at th inks it is right and fair to punish peopl e in this way is very, very sick, and very, very wrong.

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CoNCRETE WEDNESDAY,_MAY

10, 2000

www.concrete-online.co.uk

/

FEATURED 15

If you've ever wished you.could fly like a bird, a trip in a Microlight might be just what you've been looking for. Jane Kirby summoned her · courage, donned an attractive blue suit, and took to the skies ... aeroplane. This image is, unfortunately, quickly dismissed. Instead, in front of me is a Microlight and I realise that I am about to be exposed to the elerflents, protected only by a tasteful blue thermal suit. Andy explains everything to me before we take to the skies, pointing out the controls and the ignition switch (which I mustn't touch) and providing me with massive earphones and a mouthpiece so that I can communicate with him while we're up there. Mlt's like a motorbike in the skies and it's reaily good fun," he says, strapping me behind him, checking in with the air traffic controller and pointing the aircraft westward. Before I know it, we're heading for the runway. "lt gets a bit bumpy sometimes on take off," he says, as we experience a bit of jolting from side to side. I am surprised that I don't feel niore scared as the aircraft takes off, and it's more of an excited tummy chum than real fear setting in. We quickly leave the ground behind us, and soon we're cruising at 2500 feet doing a steady 60 mph. "lt will do about 90 miles per hour," says Andy, "but I have it fixed around 60mph for teaching purposes". lt's nice to take in the scenery, watching our shadow on the ground as we move in the bright sun across the fields of Norfolk. We fly to the coast and are hovering over the sea when Andy pipes up, "Holland is about an

others and other important people like grandmothers say that while you' re young you should try anything once. For some of us at UEA this might involve clambering on top of Debenhams after a night on the piss, and for others it might involve actually doing some studying. But with the summer nights extending endlessly ahead, there's no better time to try something really out of the ordinary. like flying. This is where Cloudscape Microlights comes in. The owner, Andy Tyler, eager to entice students to his range of light aircraft set out in remote Beccles (take the A146 to Lowestoft and head for Beccles Heliport). A graduate from UEA in 1997, Andy has been teaching people to fly small

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We fly to the coast and are hovering over the sea when Andy pipes up, 'Holland is about an hour over there, if you fancy it.' aircraft ever since, offering single trips and private pilot's license tuition. Now, I was somewhat misled by the Concrete editorial team as to what this feature would involve, so when I arrive at the airfield I have an image of me in an English Patient-type pose in the back of a sexy

hour over there, if you fancy ir. Actually, I do, but I don't tell him that, content instead to parade over the coastline just south of Lowestoft. "You hear all kinds of rubbish about Microlights falling aparr, says Andy, "In fact,

I have customers ranging from 16 to 78, and loads of men who are going through mid-life crises come here for release. they're indestructible." He also shows how the engine can be made to just tick over and the Microlight will happily hover in the air without losing any ground. "lt's 12 times safer than driving, you'Ve done the hard bit getting here today." A very reassuring thing to say, and in fact our only worry on the entire trip is a couple of blokes flying model aeroplanes near the airfield. We head back to the airfield for our landing, first doing a low pass to impress our friends on the ground. The descent involves the Microlight coming down in small circles, followed bY a smooth straight landing on the runway. With my feet firmly planted on Norfolk soil, I ask Andy what kind of people want to learn to fly a Microlight. "Oh all kinds of people," he says, "I have customers ranging from 16 to 78, and loads of men who are going through mid-life crises come here for release.• He admits that he offers a bit of a counselling service too, and he's eager to encourage more

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women to take an interest: ~here's just not enough of them." One of his regular customers, Marian Milton, 31 , agrees, "Yeah, I don't know any other women in Norfolk who are learning. I think I'm the only one.• So what persuaded her to fly? "I've been flying since October," she says. "I just went up once, persuaded by my father, and that was it. I sold all my horses and bought a Microlight. lt's the closest you can get to being a bird." Marian admits that it does help, however, that her other half is the air traffic controller, so naturally she spends a lot of time at the airfield. And what plans does Andy have for the future? "Well, I flew to Hungary for the Microllght World Championships a few years ago, and I have plans to go to the Canary Islands," he says, adding that you don't need permission to land anywhere in Europe, but that it is wise to leave flight plans with someone in the know back home. I smile - I don't think I'll be getting that far, but it's been well worth the trip, and a lesson might be in order for me in the future. Thirty quid for a half-hour trial flight, and £68 for a lesson may sound a bit pricey, but when you think about what you are getting it's really not. As we leave, Andy sums up his passion for his job. "I used to run a chicken factory," he says, "but I've always loved doing this and I wanted to teach." An admirable career change. Cloudscape Microlights- Trial Flights, Gt1t Vouchers and Flying Lessons. Call Andy Tyler on 0498 521579.


...

• by Martin Rosenstock ach year when I was a boy my parents and I spent our summer . holidays on my aunt's farm. Weeks before we left town I'd be counting the days to our • • • departure. For me the • countryside was one enormous playground, where you could go off on all the adventures impossible in the city: you could catch minnows in jam jars, climb the towering stacks of bailed h?y; or eat wild gooseberries till your belly ached. lt was paradise. One of my favourite pastimes during those weeks - if I was not trooping through the village with other boys - was to cut thistles. One afternoon - I can hardly have been older than five - my uncle Jim had laid his huge hand on my shoulder. "He boyo, comin' out with me to cut those damned thistles?" he said. I looked up at him, not really knowing what he was talking about and then glanced at my mother. She nodded. "Go along." I followed Uncle Jim out the back door and into the barn. He took a gigantic scythe from the wall and tested the blade with his thumb. Muttering disapprovingly he began rummaging in a toolbox till he came up with a whetstone. For more than five minutes Uncle Jim passed the stone along the metal, ripping blue sparks from it with a grating sound, and every now and then testing the blade. At last he muttered again, this time with an air of satisfaction, and flung the stone back into the box. Hoisting the scythe onto his shoulder he looked down at me and squinted his bloodshot eyes. ""Now boyo, don't you be gettin' ideas. This could cut a hair in half. If I ever see your hands on it there'll be holy war. Is that clear?" I nodded - and that day I meant it; the scythe was almost twice as large as I was and its blade was longer than one of my arms. I was sure it could cut me in half. Some of my awe must have shown on my face because Uncle Jim laughed; though it sounded more like a cough. He stuck a cigarette in his mouth and stepped into the yard. Together we passed through the gate into the fields. Uncle Jim didn't utter a single syllable as we strode along; only puffed at his cigarette as if lost in thought. I wasn't put off by him not being in a talkative mood. lt was hard enough for me just to keep up with him as he pushed through the high grass. We stepped through gaps in a few hedges, and came into a new field in which I'd never been before. In the distance I could see the village, a path winding towards it. "There they are," growled my uncle, pointing. "The b**tards grow like weeds, and there's only one way·to treat weeds .. :" , I turned and looked in the direction indicated. There, not far off, swaying in the summer breeze, stood hundreds of thistles. They occupied about a third of the field - clotted together in a solid mass as if expecting trouble • each branch crowned with purple blossoms like tiny fires.

"We'll do them in for good tlis year," grumbled Uncle Jim and looked at me with what seemed an appraising half-smile. 'Won't we?" I nodded mutely. Uncle Jim dug a penknife out of his pocket and let his eyes wander over a hazelnut-bush beside us. He cut off a long straight branch and cleared it of twigs and leaves with two or three ripping movements of the knife. "There ye go. That'll do ye fi:1e," he said handing me the stick, wet wlti its own sap. He pointed to the far side of the thistle-patch. "Now you start over there ard 1'11 start here."

Then, unexpectedly, my cousin dropped his cigarette, took the girl's face in both his hands, and kissed her. Grasping the stick I felt like a young warrior receiving his first sword from his king's hand. I looked up at Uncle Jim. "We'll thrash them," I said. Uncle Jim laughed his rasping laugh, clapped me on the shoulder, and we set to. That afternoon we wrought havoc upon the thistlecommunity in my aunt's field. The grey-leaved stalks fell before us like slain enemies, their juice giving off a vinegar-like smell as we cut through their ranks. Of course, Uncle Jim did mcst of the work, swinging the scythe in regular, untiring, almost languid movements - the plants sinking to the ground a meter to the right and to the left at · each swing. I tried to keep up with him but I was drenched in sweat, bleroing out of countless scratches and gasping for breath. I paused. Looking back upon the narrow path that trailed behind me, I had to admit that my own share of our massacre was hardly worth mentioning. And yet I pressed on as soon as I had recovered somewhat, thrashing out singlemindedly at the plants, never having enjoyed a task more than this one. In fact, it was anything but work to me. lt was like a game of soccer in which I scored each time I touched the ball. Uncle Jim needed about half an hour to finish off the thistles and didn't so much as falter in his step before the last of the plants had sunk before his merciless scythe. Letting out a puff of breath he leaned the dripping instrument against a tree and wiped his forehead with his cap. I came up to him. He gave me a smile. "Good work, boy. A damned good job we done there. Now you go home ancl have tea. I'll go up to Farley's. Tell yer aunt, will ye?" I had never felt so proud in my life, and said I would. Before leaving the field I gla1ced over my shoulder. Uncle Jim was shambling along the path. The heavy scythe over his shoulder looked like a flag, the flattened thistles like a huge carpet. Not one was left standing.

But the following summer, as my family and .I returned, the thistles -as if nothing had happened - had also reappeared, swaying their proud velvet blossoms in the air. Uncle Jim didn't have to encourage me this time. I went out the first fine day and repeated the procedure all on my own though it took the entire afternoon. I did the same the following year. And the year after. And the year... ver the course of many summer holidays I came to be a connoisseur of thistle-cutting. I would slash away the minor plants, leaving the best for last. Those; I would not artlessly thrash to bits. No, I would take them down with style. I'd stand exactly in front of them, aim carefully and then deliver one swift stroke to the base of the stalks, just above the roots where sometimes they were as thick as my wrist. If I'd mustered up enough strength the thistle would give off a cracking sound of spurting. juice and would sink to the side - taking other plants with it like some huge jungletree. To gratify these artistic ambitions I manufactured a range of instruments, trying several wood-'types and experimenting with the weight and length of the branches. Finally I settled for a four foot long branch of chestnut hardened in fire, which I was so in love with that I even took it home at the end of the holidays. I brought it back whenever we returned : the ideal thistle-cutter, or at least as near as I could get to one. For - of course - I craved to use my uncle's scythe. But I never forgot his warning and never touched it. Not until one fateful day...

0

was crouched, that day, on my temporary bed - a mattress with. a cover over it in my cousin's room which I slept on during our stay · staring at the table beside his bed. On the table lay an open packet of cigarettes. (My cousin was a couple of years older than I was and worked on · the farm) . The night before I had been unable to get to sleep. During these first night's back in the countryside I was always restless. Suddenly, I'd heard my cousin's voice - with some other unfamiliar voice in between - and had crept to the window. Peering out I saw my cousin standing under a street-light by the house opposite, a cigarette in his hand. Beside him was the girt who lived in that house. They were

I

very close to each other and spoke alternately, but so quietly I couldn't understand a word. Then, unexpectedly, my cousin dropped his cigarette, took the girl's face in both his hands, and kissed her. I watched as their mouths clung together and was beset by so many

disturbing thoughts that I hardly noticed how they parted, or that the house door opened and closed. Luckily my cousin's steps on the stairs woke me out of my reverie and I'd scurried back to my mattress. When he opened the door I lay with my face to the wall breathing

deeply and regularly. The next morning, as my cousin sat up in bed, yawning endlessly without bothering to put his hand in front of his mouth, I had summoned up all my courage and asked the question that had kept me awake during the rest of the night: How old was he when he kissed a girl for the first time? My cousin had laughed and, shuffling into the bathroom, called back over his shoulder: "Twelve!" The following hours passed in troubled pondering over this piece of information. Twelve! God, I had to get a move on. ·what on earth had I done wrong so far? For hours I racked my brain, retracing every step of my eventful social life looking for the root of my failure. Finally the answer dawned on me the cigarettes! The smokey breath the breath of a man - that was bound to impress any girl. And there was my solution, lying on the table only a few steps away. The timing was perfect. Tonight would be the birthday-party of a friend of mine, and the entire village youth was invited. If I pinched a cigarette I could smoke it on the way to his house - or, even more daring, at the party - and, no doubt, only seconds later the girls would be clinging to my neck. But I just couldn't will myself to take one. Four times already I had stood up, taken a stride or two towards them, only to return to my bed and continue staring at.the packet. lt looked so deliberately placed, as if my cousin wanted to test me, and th~re were only three cigarettes. He could easily have counted them, and when he came back and found one missing... For more than two hours I had wrestled with my conscience, and now, finally, I came to a conclusion. 1t was worth it: more than that, it was necessary. Twelve, my god! I stood up and with three quick steps was stood beside the table. My hand reached out, and then, as it was only inches away from its goal, my mother called out from below. My hand flinched back. Damn, I'd nearly done it... I called back, hesitated a moment longer, then ran downstairs. My mother was waiting in the hall. 'We'll be having tea in an hour. Run up to the village and get.Uncle Jim, will you? He's probably at Farley's." Sure I'd go, I said, which earned me a "good

boy". went out the back door. In an hour, my mother had sac. I had more than enough time. Yesterday I'd left a small patch of this year's thistles standing upright, keeping the best for last. I would stop on the way and slash them. I was furious with myself for having lost my nerve over the cigarettes, and then a rebellious thought entered my b~ain. I would take the thistles down with my uncle's scythe. Yes, that's what I'd do. I could easily hide it in the bushes afterwards and bring it back tomorrow. He woLidn't miss it. I took the scythe off the barn wall. Although I'd grown considerably in the last few years its metal blade still reached my brow as I stood it upright on the floor. I tested its sllarpness with my thumb and couldn't suppress a gulp. My penknife - the pride of my life - was blunt in comparison. Carefully I lifted the scythe on to my shoulder and after glancing around that no one might see me, passed out into the fields. The cigarette-issue was soon forgotten as I pushed through the grass, carefully sinking my wellingtons into every cow-pat that met my eyes. I felt great with my scythe... positively 'grand'. it was much better than my chestnut stick. 1t exhilarated me· to feel the weight of the blade over my shoulder; the thought of its sharpness. I would slaughter those thistles - they didn't stand a chance. As I walked my thoughts turned to Uncle Jim, seemingly agains1 my wiil. I didn't like thinking of Uncle Jim, really. Over the years he'd changed. No-one got on with him any more.

I

Carefully I lifted the scythe on to my shoulder, and after glancing around that no one might see me, passed out into the fields. He was bad tempered most of the time, and now when he clapped me on the shoulder I flinched because I thought he was about to hit me. Farley's • my ultirnate destination - was owned by a man of the same name who was a great friend of my uncle's. Uncle Jim would go up to the village in the early evening and often enough he wouldn't return home, as had been the case yesterday. Farley would put him up for the night in the guest room. lt wasn't that surprising either that he hadn't come home today. Tomorrow was market day, with an auction for three-year-olds; there'd be a lot of deals to be done. I hoped I wouldn't find Uncle Jim at Farley's. I didn't want to come back the long way across t1e fields with him. I stepped through the hedge. To the right stood the thistles. lt wouldn't take me five minutes to level them to the ground. I took a few steps

""•' -

and froze. Uncle Jim was lying before me in the grass, turned on his side as if asleep. I called his name and - when he didn't answer walked up to him. The moment I saw his face, I

I knelt down beside him and the dead man's eyes looked at me. A faint wisp of alcohol rose from his half open mouth. knew that Uncle Jim was not asleep. His skin was the colour of chalk. He was quite dead. I knelt down beside him and the dead man's eyes looked at me. They were like stones. A faint wisp of alcohol rose from his half open mouth. I stretched out my hand and touched his cheek. lt was cold. I bit back a scream, and began to run, flinging the.scythe away from me. At the hedge I turned and looked back. Uncle Jim was invisible in the grass. The only thing I could see were the thistles, swaying their heads majestically - and perhaps with the slightest touch of mockery - in the evening sunlight. I ran all the way back to the house, scaled the gate and jumped into the yard. "Who are you running from?" laughed my mother, who was standing by the back door talking to a neighbour. I slowed down a bit, catching my breath and, without thinking, brought out: "No-one." "Well you're in a big hurry running from no-one. Where's Uncle Jim?" "He wasn't at Farley's. Fartey didn't know where he is." "Oh well," sighed my mother. "But why are you in such a hurry?" "I don't want to miss Star Trek," I said pushing by her into the house. I spent the rest of the evening in front of the TV. I even brought my meal from the table into the sitting room, and ate while watching the adyentures of Kirk, Scotty and Mr Spock. I didn't want to look anyone in the eye. They found Uncle Jim a few hours later and laid him out on the sofa in the sitting room. My aunt was crying, and so was my cousin. My mother took my hand in hers. After a while my aunt, between her sobs, said: "I wonder why he took the scythe.. ." My mother pressed my hand. I never went out to cut thistles again.

Submissions for this page should be made to Kris Siefken in the Concrete office, or emailed to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk. Please include a contact number or email address. All rights revert to the author upon publication, although subsequent publications should acknowledge prior appearance in Concrete.

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18 FEATURED

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The UEA photo .casebook

CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, M AY

10, 2000

I will smash ze alarm and see my leetle poppet once more!

Jean-Ciaude was in a deep and pleasant slumber when the fire alarm went off...

I have been le rumbled! Le bugger!

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We may laugh at hypochondria, but, as Elin JtJnes found out, it can be just as debilhitating as some physical illnesses... o you get annoyed if someone remarks on how well you are looking? Feel that no-one is taking your illnesses seriously enough? Is you doctor in the 'friends and family' directory on your phone? If so, you could be suffering from Hypochondria. Described as a " preoccupation with health and body", this is a disease that Is not taken seriously by society, the media and even sufferers' families. Jokes often focus on paranoia and make fun of the lengths to which sufferers will go to convince their families that they really are ill. Hypochondriacs are so often targeted because they are seen as sad self-obsessives sapping the funds of the NHS, but the disease can severely inhibit the lives of those who suffer from it and should be taken seriously. Regularly taking days off work to visit the doctor, family problems stemming from constant complaints of Illness, as well as real

D

health risks due to excessive worrying, can make hypochondria more serious than some physical illnesses. Heard the one about the hypochondriac's tombstone inscribed with the epitaph, "I told

Heard the one about the hypochondriac's tombstone inscribed with the epitaph, 'I told you I was sick'? you I was sick"? This Is the worst case scenario for a disease that is the modern day equivalent of 'the boy who cried wolf'. lt Is understandable that doctors become complacent about the supposed illnesses of hypochondriacs, as a symptom of the disease is that they will not believe doctors' reassurances that they are not physically

unwell. After countless consultations and tests on the patient, the doctor may become exasperated and feel that valuable NHS funding should be spent on something other than pandering to one person's paranoia. This could result In the doctor missing a vital sign of illness. A common problem is when the hypochondriac becomes convinced that their headache is the first sign of a brain tumour, even after a scan has proved that ~his Is not the case. With all the press publicity about cases of cancer being misdiagnosed, it is entirely understandable that people become worried that their doctor may have missed something, but a hypochondriac will take this one step further, reading vast amounts of literature and allowing the fear to take over their life. The rise of the intern et has extended the hypochondriac's range of resources. There is a vast array of health sites on the net, enabling hypochondriacs to read up on their Illnesses and to find new ones to worry about. The information is not vetted in any way, and could be entirely fictional. Some· may find the idea of a lone person sitting In front of their computer, paralysed with fear about an illness that doesn't ~xist, amusing, but to the hypochondriac it is far from funny. Selfdiagnosis tests are often used on the Internet and can lead to a condition labelled

1n •cyberchondria'. This Is ·intemet-fuelled hypochondria where the symptoms are exacerbated by the ready stream of healthrelated Information on the net. A lady in America (where else?) called Melissa Woyechowsky had such a severe case that she spent her time " in bed crying with my laptop

A lady in America (where else?) had such a severe case that she spent her time 'in bed crying with my laptop' computer". Melissa spent over $10,000 having medical tests that were totally unnecessary. As hypochondriacs can come from any walk of life, male or female and all ages, it Is a difficult condition to treat. As with many other mental illnesses, the first step is to admit that there is a problem, and because we all worry about health Issues it Is difficult to make people believe they are taking it too far. C\ses often end up getting referred to a hypnotherapist. who can try and convince the patient to be more reasonable about their symptoms. lt is Important, however, not to put them off visiting a doctor altogether as this could lead to a real Illness lying undiscovered and untreated.


CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MAY

FEATURED 19

www.concrete-online.co.uk

10, 2000 .

If yo bui d it ••• they will si • ou don't have to look far afield to find abundant evidence of Britain's millennia! enthusiasm for constructing shiny new Norman Foster type buildings. Consider Norwich, soon to be the proud home of a state of the art millennium library - although at the rate it is progressing there must be some doubt as to whether it will be ready before Y3K. So with all this building going on, it occurred to me that UEA's very own Students' Union might want to jump on the bandwagon. We live in an lkea culture where to waste space is indeed an atrocious sin, but everywhere you look this sin is being committed. Example: Union House. There's a hive bunny in all of us just bursting to get out .- so how about making its natural habitat bigger? Now, don't laugh , but what about extending Union House's

Y

upstairs floor space? it's remarkably simple when you think about it: bung a couple of sturdy pillars in the Hive and slap a ceiling on top. Behold, a two-tiered sitting around space stretching out from the Advice Unit towards the stewards' little cage. Now we have a substantial floor area to play With, and just imagine the benefits that would accrue. We would have a greater capacity in the LCR , meaning fewer disappointed people fighting over tickets to the last LCR. If you put another bar up there it would also help on those Friday nights when there's a bloody great queue to get inside Union House, let alone to the bar to get a drink. And then there are the other things we could squeeze into the surrounding walls. Alongside SASSAF you could put all manner of tasty food outlets, a video shop, and virtually anything else you can

think of that would benefit students. The possibilities are only curbed by the limitations of the artist's impression . While we're building millennium domes and giant big wheels in the

capital it makes perfect British sense to apply our twenty-first Century love of construction to the wasted space at the heart of Union House. Catherine Jones

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lt is an issue that you can't say yes or no about. 11 has been used by the Conservative Party because of that fact. William Hague has jumped on the band wagon because it is a never ending issue. Anna Lodge MUS 3

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Straw poll This fortnight we estimate how many final year students have sorted themselves out with job~ for when they leave.

"One fifth of the people are against everything all of the time. " Speech, 1964. I

Career fear: London Mayor What does a London Mayor do? The Mayor is the head honcho for all things London, deciding the fate of everyone who lives there. Or maybe not: in fact you will have virtually no direct powers, merely being able to appoint a few police officers here and there in between waffling on about London's cultural vitality. There are perks, though : you get to be the butt of humorous tabloid front pages, and become a

lt was right that he got sent down for murder. He could never have been charged with manslaughter in this case. William Hague should keep his mouth shut about the whole issue. Gary Terrington SOC 2

lt was a tragedy that it happened, but the law isn't three dimensional enough to deal with this situation . He shouldn't have got life, but it wasn't self defence. Whatever the outcome, it wouldn't have satisfied everyone. I would not have wanted to have made the decision. Antony Norton LLT 4

Wise words: Robert Kennedy 1925-1968 l

With Tony Martin getting sent down for shooting a 16 year old boy, we ask UEA students what they think of the Norfolk farmer's actions, and whether William Hague has used the issue to try and bolster his popularity and boost his chances in the local elections.

The farmer sounds like an extreme nutter and the ends don't justify the means at all. JC Allan EAS 2

What about extending the Hive? ...•c

Student speak

painful thorn in the side for the government. Does it pay well? 'Administrating' the capital will net you a tasty salary of £84,385 per year, which isn't bad for telling lots of people what to do - especially considering they won 't usually listen to you. However, the job security isn't so wonderful - you're only in the job for four years before the public has the chance to kick you out.

How do I get into it? Well, it seems to help if you 've held a similar post in the past and didn't perform particularly well. it's also a bit of a bonus to have been the victim of a blatant voterig within your party, and to have collaborated with Blur on a rather bad song. But apart from that, enthusiasm and the ability to work with the media is essential. How do I find out more? The Department of the

Environment, Transport and the Regions web site is probably the best place to start - there you can find out all about the job and how the Greater London Assembly works. Anything else I should know? Watch out for Prime Ministers. They don't like it when you disagree with them.

lt was not justifiable self defence, the boy wasn't armed, and it was an excessive use of force, so he should get punished. However if the jury was messed with it would be a different issue. Abi Kirk-Walker Soc 3 William Hague has completely jumped on the band wagon, Tony Martin clearly had to be sentenced. Martin Brown Soc 1 He is clearly mad, booby trapping his house was a bit bizarre. I know it is hard for rural communities, but this is not the way to improve the problem. William Hague is a tosser anyway. Michaei Harris HIS 1 So it seems that Tony Martin will be languishing in his prison cell for a fair while yet if UEA students have anything to do with it.

Katherine Everin

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20 fEATURED

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CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MAY 10, 2000

Horoscopes

Concrete Prize Crossword #05

Across

Down

I. Tailored to fit (-1.2,7)

2. Complymg with (7) :l. Vigourous spirit (4) -1. To offer resistance to argument

10. Skin/peel on a fruit (7) I I. Faster than (7) 12. Fall over (-I) I:l. In a state or exci tement (5) 1-1. Greenish-blue colour (-I) 17. Not heavier than ( 7) 18. Designer of fashionable women's clothi ng (7) 19. Unwilling to accept (7) 22. German friut bread (7) 2-1. To leave/depart (-1) 25. The brother of your mother/father (5) 26. General meaning (-I) 29. Rip apart (7) 30. A shared comm unit y, li vin g space (7) 31. Properly looked after (-1,9)

>

(7)

5. Extreme sense of self-importance (7)

6. Slender briqlc or part of animal/plant (-1) 7. Those appointed to teach at university (7) 8. Tormented. but not ph) sicall y (6.7)

9. Say it again (4.2.7) I 5. Horde goods (5) 16. Not the ABC or UCI (5) 20. Escort vessel for a warship (7) 21. Doomed (4.3) 22. Conso lati on (7) 23. Spa retime (7) 27. Upper laye r of earth (-I) 28. Ruler of a muslim state (4)

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This issue there's a £10 book voucher from Waterstones up for grabs - ideal for all those course book purchases. Fill in your name and a contact number/ e-mail address below, and put your completed grid in the competition box in the Hive before Wednesday, May 17.

~

Aries

March 21- Aprii20

This is the periect time for you to attain your goals - you need to work out what you want and then go for it. Friends will understand that thi s means you might be a bit anti-social - but then you really prefer having a quiet night in anyway, don't you?

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....................JC:1.l-:!.f.P~............................................~P~.i.1..?~ ..~.~.a.v..?.1. Someone you met recently could prove to be of great importance , although not in a romantic sense. But don't worry, you are enjoying life so much now you don't have time for relationship considerations just yet.

, . Gemini

May 22 - J une 21

'Out of sight, out of mind' might actually be a good thing at the moment - at least it will keep you out of trouble, foe the time being at least! Stay as secluded as possible and you will reap the rewards .

Cance r

June 22 - July 22

You 're the spark that gets everyone going , and you don't even realise your own power! Ah well, you wouldn 't want to get too big headed . But our little crabs are still proving to be as magnetic as ever -just watch that you aren't pulled in too many direction s.

Name: ..... .... ...... .... ....... ... ... .. .. .... .......... .... ...................... .... . Contact: .............................. ....... .. ... ....... ............... ... ... ... .. .... .

. . Leo ................................................................................................................... July 23 - August 22

Last issue's lucky book voucher winner was Noam Bergman

lt is time to take a stand over something that has bothering you recently. Those closest to you will help you decipher th e meaning of some strange occurrence , and it will help you to get your life in order .

.

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Spending too much ti me on other people's problems again, and neglecting spending any time looking at yourself. Don't let other people's issues distract you from working out what you want; swing that axe and cut out what's not important .

. ~

Libra

September 24 - October 23

Stop daydreaming about the holidays and the future - th ey wi ll all be here soon enough anyway. Book yourself a break away with fri ends or family and rest and relaxation will soon come your way.

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, _\.

Pub quiz: Criminal Trials

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1) Who was the last woman to be hanged in Britain? 2) In which country is the Lockerbie bombing trial being held in? 3) Whose murder was Tony Martin jailed for? 4) What does CPS stand for? 5) Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Cou rt? 6) Who was 0 J Simpson's attorney when he was acquitted of murder? 7) What was Derek Bentley alleged to have shouted before his accomplice shot a police man? 8) With how many counts of murder was Harold Shipman charged? 9) Name the street where Fred and Rosemary West lived. 10) From which country was Kenneth Noye extradited after being charged with Stephen Cameron 's murder? ureds (0 ~ )88JlS 118MWOJ:) (6 S)Uno:J S ~ (8 ,ll 8Ae4 Wllj l<ll,. (L aueJt.j:JO:) AUULjor (9 lS!nbU48CJ We!II!M (S 8:J!IIJ8S UOI)n:JaSOJd 1eu!W!J8 (v sseJeg paJ:J (£ spuepa4l8N (z; S!ll3 41nCJ ( ~ sJaMsuv

.Keep ~~~~:on.......movin' ?..s:.9r..P.~.9. ....................<>.~!~~~.~ -~-~-~--~·~~~.~ ~.~~..~~- that's your motto for the fortnight. Health , fitness and keeping one step ahead of the game is all important to you -just don't let it rule you r life. Make sure you give your ' friends some space. They might not be quite as kee n!

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Hassles from your past disappear and it's time to let go of them for good. Look for new opportunities. Fortunately for you , your luck and love charts are looking pretty healthy at the moment, and you will find yourself feeling happier than you have in ages.

.

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You are called upon to keep a very juicy secret th is week, but the key here is in your knowing all and telling nothing . The fact that this person has confided in you could lead to an interesting complication in the next few weeks. Watch out!

........~1~ ......A9.L:J.?.r.l.l:l.?...................J.~!l.l ~r.Y. ?1..~..~~.b.r.~.~~-Y.. ~~.. •

Life for Aquarians is always a bit fast paced and chaotic so why should this fortnight be any different? Things begin to turn on to the upside though, and good times begin to roll. Slow down from the fast paced lifestyle to enjoy these new developments.

Pisces

February 20 - March 20

Work and study, work and study. I know it doesn't sound very interesting but maybe you should spend a bit more time thinking about them- you know it makes sense. You are aiming to change other people's opinions of you anyway at the moment, so a bit of dedication could be just what you need ...


travel

•

I

If you fancy an ascetic summer filled with screaming kids, group games and overflowing toilets, then Camp America might just be for you. Laura Singleton tells all ...

•

I

underneath my clothes so as to avoid flashing my very un-sexy underwear, but I couldn't help wondering what would happen is some poor unfortunate was taking a shower when the siren went! All the American staff were excellent at swimming, so even if you could only do doggy paddle you were still expected to join in! The first two weeks passed by in a bit of a blur. I was bombarded with more paperwork than I'd ever seen before, and there were so many rules to remember that I was worried how I'd cope once

ast summer I decided to abandon the monotonous world of temping for the challenge of a lifetime - working at an American summer camp! I was desperate to travel and since I'd had previous experience working with children, I just decided to go for it. Before I knew it I was at the interview, where my application form was dissected in detail. Strangely enough the only negative point the interviewer picked up on was not my GCSE results, but the passport pholo stuck to the front cover. Such a photo, he warned me, would stop the camp directors from looking at the rest of my application I Feeling rather offended(who looks good in that kind of photo anyway?) I was sent away to pose in their photo booth wearing a stupid cheesy grin that showed all my teeth, rather like on a toothpaste advert. This was the first hint that I was going to have to change my behaviour: any feelings of self doubt or fear had to be firmly swept under the carpet. If I was to go to camp, I would have to be relaxed and confident, however panic stricken I may be inside! However, to my surprise the interviewer was very encouraging and I came away with positive vibes. He told me you can never boast too much to a camp director, and gave me extra paper on which to write my personal statement. I filled them up with an in depth discussion of why I thought I'd be a good counsellor. Drama was what I ticked on the skills list, along with fine art, and I requested to be placed at a camp that would specialise in these areas. Soon the spring term finished, and I was in a chaotic state, having been inundated with handbooks covering every single aspect of summer camp life - including a long list of do's and don'ts where the don'ts far outnumbered the do's. There was to be no smoking, alcohol, or drugs and most importantly no sexual abuse. What really scared me, though, was having to get a criminal record check from the local police station! But despite all my fears I was actually really excited - it would certainly be a challenge and I was curious to know what the American children would be like. The dreaded weekend of June 12 arrived, and

L

They made us sing group songs while standing on the dining room tables so as to get into the camp spirit. after 24 hours of jet lag, travel sickness and confusion, I found myself sitting at the bus stop in the small suburb of Great Barrington, Massachusetts, surrounded by a series of pretty white painted wooden houses with verandas and manicured gardens. After a momentary panic about being abandoned and forgotten , Mr McEihaney the camp director arrived and we drove out of the town, up through dense forests to the camp. I was surprised how far the camp was from the town, and soon soon realised that there would be no easy escape. As we arrived I saw a large group of counsellors having a meeting with a fierce sounding black

knew each other from previous years, many of them having been campers themselves. Despite having an average age of 17, knew exactly what they were doing and kept forgetting that I didn't! Consequently I had to learn quickly through observation and felt stupid for having to ask so many questions - every day the routine was different. However once the children arrived, a regular timetable was established which made things a lot easier. 'Versatile' is the word that best describes my role as a senior counsellor. The first trial was being charged with the supervision of the eldest girls aged between 13 and 15. I shared a cabin with H1 girls and an American junior counsellor, and my main tasks were to wake them up in the morning (7am!), make sure they went to their coaching periods, and provide pastoral care in between . Easier said than done! Unfortunately, the first group were complete brats who didn't even attempt to hide their resentment at havin~ been sent to camp when they were more interested in boys and smoking than group games. This lot did everything to ensure that my first fortnight of camp was hell I But just as my confidence had reached its lowest ebb, I was given a group of fantastic girls who were really enthusiastic, decorated the cabin, and dressed the American counsellor and I as

The less pleasant duties included unblocking the toilets (always overflowing!), serving food, and doing maintenance.

American man - Scott, the deputy camp director. He was shouting out instructions which suddenly brought to my mind images of the army and before I knew it everyone had jumped up and sprinted down the road out of sight. Had everyone gone mad? Later I discovered that this procedure, called tag call would become an experience I wouldn't forget. lt occured when a child was missing and supposed to be drowning, (when in reality they'd sneaked off to buy sweets from the candy store without telling their counsellor!). Nethertheless, when a siren sounded, everyone would stop what they were doing, run down to the lake, strip off their outer clothing and jump into the freezing, snake-infested lake in search of the missing child. lt was just like Baywatch - but colder. Since this torturous exercise occurred every day during staff training I wisely made sure I had my swimsuit

the children arrived. Because it was a Christian camp, the YMCA values of caring, honesty, respect and responsibility were heavily stressed during a series of workshops which aimed to prepare us for the kids' arrival. The sight of adults pretending to be eight year olds was a hilarious sight. They made us sing group songs, standing on the dining room tables so as to get into the camp spirit, and there was no avoiding playing tag or capture the flag. But once you'd thrown off your self-consciousness it was actually great fun! The American counsellors were intrigued by my accent and started calling me Princess Laura after one of them dreamt that I was a member of the Royal family. lt was a shock to find only four other British people who, to make matters worse, were all at Swansea University and had been to camp the previous year! Likewise the American staff all

Catwoman and Poison Ivy one day, and Britney Spears and Ginger Spice the next. We also had fun playing midnight tricks on the boys involving bras and water guns - and managed to wake up the entire camp in the process. The less pleasant duties included unblocking toilets (always overflowing!), serving food in the dining hall, and doing a spot of maintenance. In fact the first fortnight was spent doing horrible manual tasks because there were only a handful of children at the camp, so it was wonderfUl when I finally got to teach some lessons. However, to get what you wanted you really had to put yourself forward and prove that your skills were as good as. those of the American staff. For the first two or three weeks I was often put in charge of classes which I didn't know how to teach, such as canoeing, rock climbing and dance, but after much perseverance I got to teach drama and put on a couple of short plays, including an extract from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream for all the camp to watch. lt was so satisfying to see the kids enjoying themselves - a pleasant change from all the moaning I'd endured at the beginning. During staff training we'd been told to produce lesson plans in order to assess the child's progress from the beginning to the end of the week, although in reality myself and the other counsellors were just having a laugh and doing whatever the children requested, including going to the candy store before the session had ended and then getting told off by the camp director! The atmosphere at camp was really unique. lt was amazing to have so many different sorts of people all within one community, and at the end everyone felt sad to be leaving. Overall, summer camp definitely helped me discover a new side to my character, and I made a lot of really good friends. I may not see them every day anymore, but at the reunion in June I'm sure we'll still have plenty to ' talk about!

ftnd out more onllne... ......~~..,....... .-:.. .. ...... -:::..................................................................... ~¡:- ~

http://uk.campamerica.nef/


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·advertisement from the students union

Library ogen from 8.30am for book returns The Library building is open from 8.30 am for the return of books. Items may be posted into the book slot at the Reception Desk or handed to the General Assistant on duty at that Desk. From next academic year we hope to introduce a 24 hour per day returns box, accessible from outside the building.

No eed to queue for returns Books can be returned at ·any time via the book slot at the Library Reception Desk - there is no need to queue to return them at the Circulation Desk unless you want to renew books, pay a fine or undertake · some other transaction at the Desk.

Self senice iss es Library materials may be self-issued any time the Library building is open, using the self-service workstations situated at the Circulation Desk and in the Short Loans Room. The service is simple to use and instructions on the screen guide you on what you need to do; if you prefer a member of Circulation staff would be pleased to show you how the service works.

Telep o eRenewals Books may be renewed by telephone whenever the Library Circulation Desk is staffed. Telephone number: 01603 592993 .,...

250 UNDERGRADUATION HE PERS NEEDED Wednesday 20th September 2000 Helpers, Union van drivers and co-ordinators needed to assist with new student arrivals Rewards consist of: • UEA Helper T-shirts • UEA Film ticket • UEA Gig ticket Sign-up in the Student Advice Centre and attend the meeting where roles are allocated at~ 2.00pm Tuesday 19th September in The Hive - - ' . .. ., ._

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advertisement Anne Frank Educational Trust in conjunction with Union of UEA Students presents

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free entry - all welcome exhibition open ~

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Monday 15 May, Tuesday 16 May and Wednesday 17 May 10.00 am - 6.00 m


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news

advertisement NI\ 1 ION/\1 UNION Of '>I Ul>l N l S

ra ner Do you want to learn how to deliver training and then practise the skills you have developed in a real training environement? Do you want to develop skills to improv~ ~oth your academic " · work and your employab1hty? Do you want to get more involved with .campus life and meet _ new people? If 'yes', read on .... The Union wishes to recruit 6 hard-working students who will receive professional training and who will then help to train other students in skills including team work, communication and presentationmarking.

We will offer you: • 3 days free residential training • pre-prepared training materials • support - from Union staff and your student team • the opportunity to gain demonstrable skills and experience • the chance to receive NUS accreditation

For more information on the scheme and an application form call into the Student Advice Centre, upstairs in Union House. ~ Applications must be submitted by Friday 19th May 2000 _


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advertisement

TO UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS and FACILTY: CHANGE TO .STRUCTURE OF ACADEMIC YEAR WITH EFFECT FROM 2000/2001 Background In June 1998, following two years of discussion and debate, the University Senate approved a new structure for the academic year called 12-12-6, to be implemented in academic year 2000-2001. The change was proposed in order to deal with a number of dissatisfactions with the current system,''including the running together of the two semesters. lt was also felt that, where possible, we should aim for a continuous teaching period in the second semster.

12-12-6

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Under 12-12-6 the general pattern will be as follows: Autumn Semester: 12 weeks teaching before Christmas break Spring Semester: 12 weeks teaching before Easter break Assessment: 6 weeks following Easter break However, in those years where Easter falls early and 12 weeks cannot be fitted between Christmas and Easter, the spring semester will be split 9-3 around Easter.

Academic Year 2000/2001 The first year of implemenation will be a transitional year, to allow Schools to make the necessary adjustments. Accordingly, it will still include a one week examination period before the start of the Spring Semester for those schools which opt to use it

The main change next year will therefore be the removal of the Autumn semester examination period for most, but not all, Schools. Your School will infonn you which pattern it is adopting for this transitional year. Students taking units outside their own School should check with the School offering the unit Implications for Students -- Most degree courses will change little in overall shape, though this will vary from School to School. Students will generally be taking the same units in the same. order. Assessment patterns, particularly for the Autumn Semester, may be altered; in many Schools Autumn Semester units will be examined in the summer. However, the diversity of subjects and teaching patterns across the University means that there will be variations in the way Schools implement the changes. Your School will inform you about how these changes will affect you.

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CONCRETE

SPORT

www.concrete-onllne.co.uk

WEDNESDAY, MAY 10, 2000

21·

LOCA TENNIS

HOCKEY Martin & Acock Norfolk Women's League Division 1 p w d a Pts f Old Buckenham UEA Norwich City 2 Beccles Sprowston Evergreens Dereham 3 Watton 2 Pelicans 2 Broadland 2

18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18

14 12 11 10

9 7

7 5 2 1

2

2 3 2 3 3 6 1 2

55 38 35 30 40

3 5 5 6 5

44

10 11 15 16

26 32 19 10

8

44

9 19 14 28 24 38 41 71 76

39 35

33 30 27

22 17 7 4

Martin & Acock Norfolk Women's League Division 4 p w d a Pts f Evergreens 2 Pelicans Colts Loddon 2 Lowstoft Railway• Magpies 5 Broadland 3 UEA 3" Yarmouth 3 Breckland Diss Harriers *Points deducted

20 20 19 19 20 20 20 20 20 20 20

11

6

11 8 9 8 8 9 6 6 5 3

6 7 7 4

3 4 5 5 2 1

3 3

39 39

4

34

3 8 9 7 9

39 25 34 30 28 19

9 13 16

-21 15

19 19 15 13 18 39 20 31 35 46 68

19 39 31 31 28 27 25 23 23 17 10

Crowe Insurance Men's East Hockey League Division 4 North East p w d a Pts f Norwich Union 2 Lowestoft Town Thetford Town H'leston Magpies 4 Norwich City 3 UEA2 Waveney Dereham 3 Broadland 3 Norwich City 4 Pelicans 3 Dereham 4

15 15 15 16 15 15 15 16 15 15 16 0

13 11 11

9 8 8 7 4

2

0

3 0 1 1 1

1 4

1

0

0

3 2

33

6 6

34 38 36

6 8

0 1 3 1 1

76 71

12 19 18 32 30

34

12 14

30 21 24 16

26 63 52 53 73

0

0

0

33

11

9

41 36

33 28 25 25 21 13 12

7 4

0

Norwich Winter Tennis League Division 2 p w d f

Martin & Acock Norfolk Women's League Division 3 p w d a Pts f Denver Yarmouth 2 Old Buckenham 2 Dereham Fillies UEA2 Norwich Union 3 Magpies Colts B Magpies 4 Norwich City 4 North Walsham 2

14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

14 9 9 7

0 5 5

0 0

65 31 0 26 7 0 26 4 5 5 15 4 8 2 14 9 2 3 7 11 1 2 12 withdrawn from league, records deleted

43

42 27 27 21 19 10

27 43

7

9 18 15 20 21

17 17 17 17 16 17 17 17 16 16 17 16

11 10

9 10

9 8 7

6 6 3 2

1

2 4 2 2 4 4 6 3 4 2 2

5 6

60

4

34 54 36 56 37 37 28 25 28 20

44

5 5 5 6 5 7

9 12 13

29 33 32 32 25 43 34

33 27 40 74 57

34 32 31 30 29 28 25 24 21 13

16 17 17 15 16 17 17 17 17 16 16 17

14 11 11

1 3

1

3 3

3 3 6 5 8 8

4

8 8

2 5 2

7 7

4

5 5 3 3 2

85 53 38 40 30 40 36 17 21 27 13 14

11 10 11 15

1 3

2 0

9 15 17 16 20 34 26 35

55 47 83 57

Norwich Badminton League Mixed Division 3B p w f 8

7

10

6 6

8 8

3

10

1 4

42

2

43 30 32 32

a 30 35 29 42 58 40

55

5 8 6

2 2

8

Pts 7 6 6 3

2

Norwich Badminton League Ladies Division 3B p w f Cringleford 2 Castaways Valkyries Chasley UEA

1 1

5

4

4

2

6 6

2 1

3

55 58 37 37 29 24

a Pts 25

22 43 43 51 56

17 15 9

8 6

5

5

43 36 36 28 26 26 23 19 16 11 11

7 6 4 3 2 1

2

2 3 3 3 1

1 2 3

4 5

8

54 55 41 38 33 19

a Pts 26 25 39 42 47 61

16 14v 11 9 7 3

FOOTBALL Norfolk Christian Football League p w d 16 17 17 15 19 18 18 19 17 14 16

Mount Zion NYFC Stalham Wroxham Road East Dereham UEA Meadow Way Trinity Res St Elizabeths SC Broadland Dereham Road

14 13 12 12

9 8 8 5 3 2 1

2 1 0

0 2

2 2 0 0 1 2

f 0 3 5 3 8

8 8 14 14 11 13

80 64 106 54 41 54 54 48 20 15 30

a Pts 16 31 39 27 46 39 58 91 75 67 78

44 40 36 36 29 26 20"' 15 9 7 5

LOCAL FIXTURES

6

2

1

1

3 9

6 8 7 5 2

3 1 4 1 0 2 0

137 138 123 89

7

88

8 9

0

0

80 79 74 32 20

8

6 2 1 0

0 0 0 0

90 26 26 7

0

0

5

a

Pts

6

12

!~

27

UEA Rugby Sevens Tournament @ Colney Lane

i LOCAL RESULTS 0

SQUASH

0

16 16 12

6 4 3 3 2

RUGBY

2

Norwich and District Table Tennis League Division 5 p w d a Pts f 18 18 18 18 17 17 16 17 18 15

7

4 2

1 2

SATURDAY, MAY13

TABLE TENNIS

Telephones D STS Holburn UEA Foxwood D Old Canon B Briston F ConcreteWB Taverham H Nch Union F Scorpians B

10 10 10 10 10 10

Wortham North Walsham Cromer B UEAB Stanmore B Becles C

BADMINTON

Tasburgh 2 Teachers 2 Mid Norfolk UEA FBI2 Norwich Union

1

Norwich Winter Tennis League Division 6 p w d f

8

Crowe Insurance Men's East Hockey League Division 5 North East p w d a Pts f Holt Harlequins 2 Lowestoft Railway 2 B St Edmunds 4 Norwich Union 3 Thetford Town 2 North Walsham Norfolk Nomads Watton Gorleston 2 UEA 3 Broadland 4 Pelicans

8

9

Crowe Insurance Men's East Hockey League Division 3 North East p w d a Pts f Gorleston Pelicans 2 Norwich City 2 B St Edmunds 2 UEA Broadland Holt Harlequins H'leston Magpies 3 Lowestoft Railway Broadland 2 B SI Edmunds 3 Dereham 2

10 10 10 10 10 10

Gorleston A Diss B UEAA East Anglia C Cring A Norwich Union A

10 16 15

43 42 57 91 82 90 81 96 148 130

61 60 52 36

33 32 30 28

8 4

SATURDAY, MAY 6 Norfolk Squash League Division 2 p w f

Potters UEA Barnham Broom Watton North Walsham Broadland 2 Downham Market Norwich Union Hunstanton East Anglia 3

14 14 13 13 14 13 14 13

13 11

8 7

8 3 2 2 Team

1 233 3 212 5 177 6 166 6 178 10 121 12 105 11 72 withdrawn from the

RUGBY a Avge 103 119 125 146 166 188 229 208 league

16.64 15.14 13.62 12.77 12.71 9.31 7.50 5.54

Mens 1

21-10

Fakenham

(a)

SUNDAY, MAY 7

RUGBY Mens 1

withdrawn from International Sevens Tournament ~.

I


-路 .. 28 SPORT

www.concrete-online.co.uk

CONCRETE W EDNESDAY, M AY

10, 2000

11

I ; George Walker chats to toP. ITV broadcaster and Arsenal ,goalkeepjng coach, Bob Wilson about the thing he knows best... football. bove all , Bob Wilson is an original. it may ...;. be Gary Lineker who is stealing the limelight as footie legend turned TV star but it was Bob who set the standard, first appearing on the nation's screens 26 years ago. And remember the furore when Des Lynam decided to desert Auntie in favour of the bright lights of ITV? Well , Bob did that too. But if you think that the ex-Scotland international goalkeeper is just an amalgam of Gary and Des then

A

forget it. Having first been a school teacher and then a successful player, winning the double in 1971 and the European Fairs Cup the previous year, Bob set about engineering an equally successful career off the field . These days, as well as appearing regularly on ITV, he is also goal keeping coach at Prem ier League giants Arsenal , the club he played for during the majority of his career, and mentor to none other

So if there's one thing Bob the coach and Bob the presenter knows about it's football , and with Euro 2000 fast approaching, what chance is there of England fulfilling the nation's hopes. "Not very much on recent performances, but I would cover it by saying that football is the daftest game at times ,'' he phi losophises. "You need a bit of luck, a few right refereeing decisions and there's no way of knowing whether it's going to be your two or three weeks or not." But that's not to say that we should give up hope before a ball has even been kicked . As Bob says, "You see, I've got this

one potentially world class player. Beckham is certainly a world class player and Owen has th e potential to be world class. If you look at any team that usually wins a major tournament they usually have at least four class acts, so England are a couple of players short.

"I wouldn't put a lot of money on England but it wouldn't surprise me if they did really well because of Keegan" little funny thought in my mind that Kevin Keegan's motivational skills cou ld be brilliant." Interesting. Perhaps Kev, a regular ITV pundit, has been letting his tactics slip when they are off the air. How, then , could England improve their chances? "They 've got to decide what is their best team

together. "Apart from the goalie, who I'm going to support for obvious reasons, England only really have one world

1

"I wouldn 't put a lot of money on England, but it would not surprise me if they did really well because of Keegan ." Is it th e English game that is to blame for the nation's lack of quality? Bob seems to think so. ''The game's in a real weird state,'' he says. "I just wish there were a lot of better British players around. I come from a generation when I played against great players week in week out. Every team we played had a minimum of one or two British national heroes and international players." But for Bob the real problem lies in the fact that England has a superiority complex. "Even when Hungary came on the scene when I was a kid and I saw them trounce England 6-3 at Wembley there was still the feeling that we'll still ru le the world, we'll still do it our way. "Arsene Wenger recently said to me, 'Bob, when I talk to the French FA I tell them that when England have th e same technical ability as us no one in the wo rld will touch them.' 'What he meant by that was that in terms of spirit and the never say die attitude, never in all his career has he seen what you get in this country in the Premiersh ip. "But as regards technica l ability he has been very surprised at

how poor the standard of technical ability is. He believes even now if you look at the majority of young players coming through , what you can get abroad is vastly superior technically." Speaking of Wenger, how does he rate as a manager? "Amazing, truly amazing. Wenger is the best handler of the media in this country, I'm talking about handling the media so they still like you . You could ask him almost anything and he would at least discuss it with you . "One of the things I admire about him, though , is that he is an individual. I love it if when I meet original thinkers. When I first started coaching I watched Don Howe and I thought, 'I'll do it like this ', but the more I did it the more I thought no, this is wrong. I became an original thinker as a goal keeping coach , I was the first goal keeping coach in any club in England ,

knew them , and they turned out to be World Cup winning players. You can just go on the reputation, but then you get players who are past their prime, who are mercenaries who are only concerned with earning a lot of money." But back to England for a second. Who should succeed the great Alan Shearer after he retires as national captain after the European Championships? "I wo uld love to say Tony Adams but I know that he is a bit too old. So if you're looking at a realistic long term successor you 're probably looking at someone like Sol Campbell because he's been captain before, or, and I know this'll be really con troversial, but I would make Beckham captain because I really think that it would make him grow up even more and gain some sense of responsibility." Finally, having been involved in football for so long , how does it

"This'll be really controversial, but I would make Beckham captain because I think it would make him grow up" and now they've all got them.'' Arsenal was one of the first clubs to take advantage of the Bosman ruling , but in recent weeks there have been ca lls by many, including Kevin Keegan , to limit the number of foreign players in the English game. But is the influx of overseas players really damaging? "I thi nk the fore ign players in this cou ntry are fine if you are only getting reall y good foreign players. There are some very ordinary fo reigners here now, and that's the problem , knowing who is and who isn't a quality player. Wh en Petit and Vi eria ca me to England th ey only had potential and nobody really

still hold Bob's interest? "it's my life. Even as a school teacher, and from when I was a kid, I only ever wanted to be a footballer. it's been my life, I've been very lucky with my football career with finishing first or second for six seasons in a row, with the highlight being the European Fairs cup win in 1970 and the double in 1971. "But if people ask the question: what is the best side of Bob Wilson ? I'd have to say the best Bob Wilson - the most natural Bob Wilson - is a coac h, a teacher. I'm not being arrogant about it, I just know I'm a good teacher"


CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MAY

10, 2000

Kidding around Former England star Gary Lineker, may have the respect of the nation's footle fans but it seems that the same can't be said of his own kids. Gary says his son George mocks his footballing past by saying, "The trouble with you, Dad, is that you think you were good.'' He also revealed that none of his three sons support his beloved Leicester City.

Game, threat and match

CitY. trash Sheffield United in last home game after mixed Easter By SIMON CAVE CITY FAILED to escape another season of mid-table mediocrity after a miKed run-in left them floundering in no man's land. With six games in a month, a good run could have propelled the Canaries up the table and put a glowing end to a rather lack lustre season. At home to beaten Worthington Cup finalists Tranmere Rovers on Saturday April 1, Norwich could only manage a draw despite taking the lead from a thundering Lee Marshal! header in the fifteenth minute. The visitors applied heavy pressure in the second half, and their hard work was rewarded when Daryl Sutch was left with egg on his face after he bundled the ball into his own net.

Denied Against Portsmouth, second half strikes from Kevin Harper and Darren Moore denied Bryan Hamilton's side their second away win since the Irish man succeeded Bruce Rioch . Just a minute before half time Lee Marshal! again headed City into the lead But in the second half they were on the back foot and once Darren Kenton was sent off City could no longer resist Pompy's incessant pressure . A week later lwan Roberts scored his nineteenth goal of the campaign against his former club, Wolves. The glancing header in the fifty-fifth minute was the match's

only goal and secured a morale boosting home win against the promotion chasers. On Easter Saturday, relegation candidates Port Vale were the visitors to Carrow Road. In a dour match City failed to make it two home wins on the bounce after they played out a dour 0-0 stalemate.

Oakwell Three days later the Canaries visited Oakwell to take on a Barnsley side who desperately needed the points to maintain their push for the Premiership. The Yorkshire team won 2-1 thanks to first half strikes from Stave Chettle and Neil Shipperly, but on a brighter note for City, long term injury victim Craig Bellamy reminded fans what they had been missing when he poked home Des Hamilton's flick on after 67 minutes to pull a goal back. But Barnsley held on to secure the points that guaranteed them a play off spot.

Convincing City showed their potential with a convincing 2-1 victory against an out of sorts Sheffield United side.

In the first 30 minutes City were rampant with Craig Bellamy and Phil Mulryne returning to action in triumphant fashion and within 14 minutes they were two up thanks to some wonderful attacking play but also some woeful defending from the visitors. The first came after only fou r minutes when Craig Fleming powerfully headed home a penetrating Mulryne cross after a short corner.

CITY STATS DIVISION ONE

P W D L GSPt

10.QPR 4515 18 12 59 63 11 .Bik'bn 45 15 1613 54 62 12.Norwlch 45 14 1516 35 57 13.Tran'mre 45 15 1218 56 57 14.Stockp't 45 12 15 17 53 54 NORWICH CITY TOP SCORERS lwan Roberts 19 Lee Marshal! 5

A championship tennis match was marred by claims that one player threatened to kill his opponent. Anthony Dupuis of France narrowly defeated Australian Andrew lllie In the first round of the US Clay Court Championships, but lllle Insisted that the match turned when Dupuis approached him and threatened him between games. Said lllle, "He said he was going to kill me after the match.''

Go easy on us! A translation blunder meant that an team of veteran players were forced to take on one of Romania's top rugby sides. While Steaua Bucharest boasts a total of nine internationals, Dorchester Gladiators consists of entirely over-40s, with their oldest player being 50. The Dorset team thought they would be playing a veterans XV, but instead found themselves in a match that was broadcast live on Romanian TV.

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Badge blunder Soccer nut Carl Longson is kicking himself after he had the badge of his favourite football team tattooed on his leg, only for it to be changed two days later. The Huddesfield fanatic paid £30 to have the shield shaped crest scrawled on to his leg, but soon the design was obsolete after the club changed its crest into a circle. Said earl, " Talk about bad timing. 1thought it must be a wind up when I heard.''

Committed Norwich's second goal was not long in coming. On 12 minutes Bellamy collected a trough ball before rounding the keeper and masterfully slotting the ball home from the tightest of angles. The second half failed to reach the heights of the first chiefly because united were much more committed in both defence and attack. Paul Devlin pulled a goal back for the Blades in the seventy-fifth minute when he cooly dispatched a penalty after Stuart Wilson was brought down by Fernando Derveld. But Norwich hung on well to claim a deserved three points.

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CONCRETE WEDNESDAY , MAY

10, 2000

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UEA claim double honours at Heathrow tournament By NEIL FERRIS

UEA'S TEN-PIN Bowling Club secured their first single title just before the Easter break as Dave North won the Student Men 's Handicap Series Title. A confident team travelled to Heathrow for the Brunei 2000 Doubles Tournament and were eager to continue enhancing their growing reputation . Some superb early 200 plu s scores saw th e team of S tu art Gibson and Brian Jepson troun ce the ir oppo sition and progress through to the final stages of the scratc h tournament.

Qualified This was the first time that a team from UEA had qualified for the final stages of a scratch tournament since the club 's inception on ly two years ago. Gibson and Jepson continued to play we ll in the later stages where they faced a host of top quality opposi ti on. They eventually fini shed eighth whi le Sheffield A claimed the title with a sustained series of excell ent scores. The nex t UEA pairing, of Mark Philpott and Neil Ferris, also put in good scores early on, with Ferris posting a 20 1 and Mark Philpott a 174.

Disappointing But it was just not qui te eno ugh to see them through to the latter stages, and due to the immensely close competition they could o nl y

finish a dis a ppointing thirty -first despite being only 50 pin s behind the leaders. The true stars for UEA, though,

Sanderson . H aving scraped into the fina l stages of the han djcap compet iti on, the UEA second pair put together so me sc intillating scores, including a first ever 600

the tournament Dave North . This , together wit h some so lid support from his team - mate Dom Sanderson ,

team climb from eighth to fourth overa ll in the hand icap competition th at was eventually won by Kent A.

Scintillating However, th ere was more to

come for UEA. Taking hi s handicap into account. that 600 scratch seri es from Dave North . translated into a 700 plus hand icap series and gave him the Student Men 's Hand icap Seri es Title, substantially ahead of hi s rivals.


CoNCRETE W EDNESDAY, M AY

www.concrete-online.co.uk

10, 2000

.. SPORT 31

Capital effort By ALEX KENNING

THANKS TO the grit and determination of one UEA student Spinal Research are over £1,000 better off. earl Mitchell (MTH 3) joined thousands of athletes and fun runners from around the world who braved the 26.2 mile London Marathon course In aid of

THE MEN'S cricket first team bagged third spot in the BUSA national finals but were robbed of a final spot in the cruellest of circumstances. Having travelled to Guilford of Saturday, March 11, UEA lost to Aberystwyth in the first of their group matches they put in a commandi ng display to beat Leeds University only to lose out a place in the final after a bowl out. Against Aberystwyth UEA were put into bat and made the worst possible start, losing both openers Phi! Dorsett and Matt Coles with the score on just 5. But James Stevens and James Cook kept UEA in with a shot with cores 42 not out and 27 not out respectively helping UEA finish with a competitive total of 102 for 4.

Explosive In reply Aberystwyth took 16 runs off

Coles' first over, but he recovered to take two wickets in his next, reducing Aberystwyth to 16 for 2. Cole worked well in tandem with the miserly Cook who conceded just 12 runs off his three overs.

Momentum Captain James Stevens came in for some brutal treatment from the Aberystwyth batsmen, who took 38 runs from his 3 overs, and despite tight bowling at the death the Welsh side got the I03 runs they needed with 3 balls ro go. Results, however, had gone UEA's way in the other group game, meaning that UEA could progress to the fina l if they beat Leeds and won a bowl out. UEA Again lost the toss, and found themselves fielding first, a

decision which Leeds must have regretted when Cook truck twice in two overs to reduce Leeds to 20 for 2. But Leeds came back, and oon appeared to be racing away. The game turned again at 44 for 2, thanks to some tight bowling from Stevens and Prince, and some explosive fielding. Leeds found themselves all out in the tenth over for 94 runs. This allowed UEA to pile on the pressure with Dorsett and Coles putting on 42 for the first wicket. And UEA never let the momentum of the innings slow down, losing just one more wicket before passing Leeds' total with two overs to pare.

Achievement Their win meant that everyone in the group had won one and lost one, so UEA were forced to take part in a nail biting bowl out. Sadly the pressure told. and the UEA bowlers only managed one direct hit. Said club president Mark Prince, "To finish third in a competition against more than 40 institution entered is an achievement which we should be extremely proud of, and hopefully we can use this as a platform for a successful BUSA campaign this summer."

After training for six months, cart took to the capital's streets on Sunday, April 16 and completed the course In a respectable 4 hours 38 minutes. Not only was this the plucky student's first marathon, b\lt due to Injuries he was unable to take part In any warm up races and the longest distance he had run before the big day was a mere 18 miles. Said Cart, " lt was an amazing experience. I wanted to break four hours, but I started at the back so it took ages for me to get to the start. But the atmosphere was fantastic, I started off running with people dressed as a London bus and a herd of rhinos:• " I was knackered by 18 miles but for the last four miles the crowd was really getting behind us and I just ran like the wind," he added. Meanwhile, the main race was won by Antonio Pinto In a record time of 2 hours 6 minutes and 36 seconds. But will earl ever brave the marathon again? " At first I said that I would never do it again • I was off my feet for three days. But it's great to get money for a good charity so I'm going to apply again next year and hopefully beat four hours." And most Importantly, has he collected the money? " I got loads of student sponsorship but I think I'm going to wait until the people get their loans before I ask for the cash."


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Boat club bag three bronze medals at regatta By NICK HENEGAN

THE BOAT Club continued their successful season with a medal haul at the BUSA regatta in Nottingham.

The club tnnelled to the midlands on the weekend of April 29-10 and and. as a team. sixth place overall. L b\'s lirst medals of the regatta medal. came courtesy of the \1en's Not to he outdone. the Women's Championshtp Coxed !·our. ~m tee l.tght were keen to sho'' !"he crC\\ consl\tmg ol James how much the) had de\ eloped in the Orme. John Ftty. Robcrt Page and year. Oomokic l'i\l>ttk.t. ,tnd c·osed Determination espcrtl) h) I.m:) \ladge. powered throughout the l'osed b) Sarah -Loutsc i\lbreLI. course to bc·at ,, host ol the CI"L'W show cd strength and slrong to can·e through a snatch

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finished with three hron1c mcdab

m the single sculb. Although h~ was unable to repeat last year's stunning win he increased the wed.cnd's pomts total and added to hiS own BUS.\ medal collection with a determined f()\\

third place. It was far from cas). though. as the l 'I \ boat was pht) mg cat-:h up from the outset alter they were beaten oil the Iine l. EAs medal haul \\as completed by boat Richard

Commanding The Women's ChampiOnship Four also added the final touches to a commanding performance \\hen they blew all of their competttton out of the water in the heats.

competnton trammg meant that the fina l oppostt ion was just too strong. pre,-cnting the crew from repeating the pcrfom1ance that secured them glory at Henle) last year. The Men's Junior Four also made the trip to 1\otttngham and were unlucky not to make the final. missing out on qualifica tion by just half a length. cwrthelc" it was a good dispht) conSJdenng that they were drawn into a heat with a profusion of top quality boats.

uni\ersit) in the count!") ts some achievement. especially when we were competing against the likes of Imperial College. Oxford Brooks and Loughborough Cni,·eNty .. said ecstatiC men's captam Rob Page.

Final ""I(J have live cn:ws compete and four make the linal is a renection of the hard work that has been put in by the crews." he· enthused. And Rob belie'e' there ts more to


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