------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Issue 122 路Wednesday, February 14, 2001
STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR
FREE
.
...
by NICK HENEGAN, Deputy Editor
ROGUE students have been blamed for wasting taxpaytfrs' money and putting lives at risk. New figures reveal that UEA was responsible for 34 of the 91 hoax calls to Norfolk Fire Service last year - a staggering 40%. "In total there were 34 incidents at UEA that we would class as hoax calls last year, that is cases when we get there and there is no explanation for the alarm going off," said Norfolk's Head of Fire Safety, Trevor Bacon.
Hoax "Of course that is a lot, but large educational establishments are more prone to this sort of thing, simply because of the number of people. Having said that things are improving which is positive, and us the University have helped immensely," he added. And UEA bosses remain eager to pursue their hard line approach towards hoaxers in an attempt to stamp out bogus calls altogether. "The University strongly disapproves of hoaxers. We treat it as a very serious offence and in fact we prosecuted a two students last year," said Director of Safety Services, Paul Donson.
Illegal "it's very disruptive to students' lives and I think everyone dislikes people who deliberately misuse the equipment, let alone it being an illegal act," he continued. And campus residents had no sympathy for malicious students either. "lt's stupid. it is very bad to set the alarms off, there could be a house burning down else where," said Village dweller Becky Corri (MTH1). And Stave Crook (SYS 1) had a message for the hoaxers. "If you play with fire then you are going to get burnt." he warned.
Protestors use rov.al OP.ening_ to attack SP.ortsP.ark boss' Nestle stance by KATIE HIND, News Editor
ANGRY protestors highjacked the royal opening of the Sportspark in an attempt to force centre boss Keith Nicholls to stop selling Nestle chocolate like Rolos and KltKats. The demo, which organised by Dev Soc, ambushed the Princess Royal 's appointment to officially open the sports facility. The furious students demanded the Union's boycott of Nestle products should also apply in the University's outlets - including the Sportspark cafe. "We used the opportunity to highlight Nestle at UEA. It's Union policy not to sell Nestle products, so it's the best opportunity we had to publicise the fact that the Sportspark sell Nestle products," said Union Environment Officer, Casey Ryan. And Union Communications Officer, Wayne Barnes supported last week's protest. ''I thought the protest raised awareness and that's very important. It might also make the University aware that if they keep ignoring Union policy, people are going to get annoyed," said Wayne. But Buckingham Palace Press Officer,
David Pogson insists the Princess would have been unperturbed by the irate demonstrators. "The Princess Royal has been undertakihg engagements for 30 years now so I would imagine there has been numerous demonstrations and various stages," said Mr Pogson.
Exploits Director of Sport, Keith Nicholls, defended his decision to keep selling products produced by Nestle, which protestors claim exploits third world countries. "If the government ban Nestle products then we will stop selling them, but until then, it's a free choice. I have offered the protestors the chance to put a poster up in the Sportspark explaining
why they think Nestle products are bad," he said. And despite the furore outside, Mr Nicholls insisted Princess Anne's visit to UEA was still successful. "It's great for the University as it puts
us on the map. No other university got facilities as good as these. "The Princess was marvellous, knows everything about sport, and was extremely friendly. I think the was wonderful," he added.
has she she day
2 NEWS
,
www.concrete-online.co.uk
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRU ARY
14, 2001
STUDENTS who are seeking help with their study need look no further than the web anks to UEA 's Learnin
rning which has information n all the worksh ops and iscussion topics available .
FIFERS Watts demands government cash injection ON FIRE By KATIE HIND News Editor
TWO fire crews were ca lled out to fo rmer UEA resi dences in Fifers Lane, Old Cation , after shocking reports that people may have been trapped in a blaze. The emergency services were called after 2pm on Sunday 4, following sightin gs of smoke coming from the building. Fire fighters searched the building but nobody was found , and the fire was brought under control in 20 minutes.
UEA Vice Chancellor, Vincent Watts has welcomed the Government's decision to ru le out top-up fees - but clai ms they need to boost fun ding dramatically to allow students from poorer backgrounds to study. T he governm e nt an nou nced last week that th ey wou ld prom ise not to introduce top-up fees if they win the next general e lectio n after pressure from the National Union of Students.
But now th e VC is cal li ng out to government chiefs to fi nd another way to inject more money into higher education - or universities
co uld face a fall in student applicati ons. "We need more money and we weren't very keen on top-up fees.
We 're g lad they have been stopped because they affect st udents.'' said Mr Watts . "We've found loans are stopping students from poor families coming to uni,cr,ity and I think a lot of potential Sllldents want to go wo rk to make a contribution by cam in g a wage rather than going to university and bui lding up debts ." he added. Mr Watt> now fears that the government won't pledge enough cash to universities to enable UEA - whose teacher to student ration of I to 33 he has branded "unacceptable" - to run properly.
other university teachers路 salaries throughout the cou ntry. "O ur staff are poor ly pa id. someth ing like 20-30% under the market rate for people with those sorb of ski 11;,, there have been done which show reports academics are underpaid for the job they do."
The VC is also concerned that poor pay will mean leave teaching vacanc ies unfill ed at UEA. " It 's difficu lt to get econom ics and maths staff. but next year we could be lack ing in science staff beacause many of them came in in the 60s and are about to retire." commen ted Mr Watts.
fJOrtspa
Persuade
ICH
" Now the government have ruled out top-up fee s. we have to go back and per,uadc them to give us some more money, but at present. I'm not hope ful." "First they put money into nurserie s. then primar} edu cation. anJ now into secondary schools." "It's about time they put so me into higher education ," added the VC. And Mr Watts is also fuming at the poor state of campus and the teachin g stalls路 meagre wage packets - which are in line wiLh
HOSPITAL LINK
Bus route extends to new N and N
PEOPLE CARRIER 拢6
UEA STUDENTS will have access to the new Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital all day and night - thanks to an extension of a busy existing bus service. The 25 bus route, which currently ope rates 24 hours each day between the train station and th e un ive rsity wi ll add extra stops to its route when the new hospital opens in September. The service, which is used mostly by UEA students will stop at both the Bupa Hospital at Colney and the new hospital where the untversity's new medical students will be based in 2002. Firs t Eastern Count tes Marketing Director, Mike Payne believes the new route is vital for students.
"We will extend the 25 because it will enable people to travel from the heart of the golden triangle through to the hospital ," said Mr Payne.
Logic "And with the plans for the hospital to become associated with the university, there is logic in having the UEA and the hospital
site linked," he added. to be Fares are yet announced , but services will be on par with the current timetable. And Shirley Pearce, who led the bid for the university's new medical school is delighted that the new bus link will make it easier for students to get to the new hospital site from both their homes in the Golden Triangle and campus. "it's good news. we have been looking at maktng it easter for students to get from the ma,n campus to the new hospttal stte:路 . said Pro-Vice Chancellor, Professor Pearce.
-
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
---~~ -- --
14, 2001
- --- -
~
--
~ ~-------~-------~---
· --- ·
~-
NEWS3
www.concrete-online.co.uk
rival political societies to come together for a - in an attempt to .."''"uun••ue students back to
$portspark awarded nudist swimming_ championship! By NICOLA MALLETI
SWIMMERS from all over the continent will be getting their kit off at UEA when the funny that it 's European Nudist Swimming Championships hit the Sportspark later this year.
STUDENT STRIPSHOW
being held The event, which start on November 3 and take place over two days, has been welcomed by Director of here. but I Sport, Keith Nicholls. don ' t think "It is quite a prestigious event, a I'll be give a whole new meaning to people do not object. It is a backstroke," she said. going to legitimate event - they just don ' t full international championship watch ," have any cos tum~ on ," he organised with the Amateur " If any group at UEA wants to Swimmers Association of Great s a i d explained. set up their own naked swimming Katherine Britain and held under proper rules club, then they should come and and regulations," he said. H a ro s see me, they just need 30 paid-up (BI03 ). However he admitted that he naked members," she added. And British Naturism Sports expected a lot of interest to arise Officer, Roger Johnson is looking from the eccentric event - which is forward to taking part in the event being held in Britain for the third at the Sportspark. But although students found the "When we first asked about news that naturists will soon be time. holding the championships at the invading UEA hilarious , they won ' t be queuing up to watch the Sportspark, the stafq there bent over backwards to help us." said " I suspect people will want to prestigious event. "In England people are come and watch the naturi sts, we Mr Johnson . probably more open -minded, so I have no problem with that." And Union Finance Officer, Becky Thorn , wa~ delighted by the "But we don 't want to create a don't think people will be upset by event ,' ' said Ama lia situation whereby people will be the news too. I Andri anopoulou (ART2 ) " People should be free to swim offended by them, so admission in any way they choose, but it does " It is a strange event, and it's will be controlled, although I hope
Championships
Hilarious
Naked ambition: How we exposed the story last year
Problem
MILLIONAIRES
Jyndall Centre to get £1.9 million grant By TOM HINES
UEA scientists have been awarded nearly £2 million to co-ordinate groundbreaking research that will help the government. The Tyndall Centre for climate change research is set to lead the way in environmental breakthroughs after officials announced future projects worth a whopping £1.9 million.
The aim of the projects, which will take place nationwide, is to help industry and government decision makers in their challenge of halting the change in world climate. The Department of Trade and Industry have joined forces with three environmental research
councils to fund 21 research projects that seek to find out more about climate change problems, including using hydrogen as an alternative energy source and why sea levels rise. Tyndall Centre Executive Director, Or Mike Hulme, claims everyone should be aware of the
weather changing issues- and act on them.
Challenge "The real challenge for climate change science is not simply to be able to predict future climate, it is to give society the options to choose its own climate future," said Or Hulme. And Tyndall Centre boss, Si man Torock believes these projects are just the beginning of the centre's innovative work.
Tackle
Climate challenge: Tynda/1 Centre
"We only launched in November, so this it's the start of our efforts to tackle climate change," he said. The government-backed Tyndall Centre, which is housed in the former sports centre, was officially opened by MP Micheal Meacher last November after UEA beat off nine other competitors to have the prestigious research umt on campus. The £10 million centre was designed especially for research to help understand how climate change affects society today.
Tory ISC>Cil!tiE!S will meet in Lectu 4 on February 28 to discuss pol both parties hope lots of students will come and ask questions. "With the general election .,.,r,m••nn up we want to bring mainstream politics back students, so hopefully we have a big audience and if is a success, we will do more," said Conservative Society President, Toby Matthews. A politics lecturer will act as the chairman.
A CHARITY production is calling out for wannabe chippendales to take part in a student strip show. The event will feature a Full Monty dance routine - and bold students are being urged to take part in the auditions, which will be judged by a professional choreographer. The show, which is in aid of the charity, Diabetes UK will feature live bands and other dance acts. If you're man enough to take part in the act, which will be on March in the Hive, email 7 J.Masters@ uea.ac.uk.
C(i;he G!Ja.s.satje to e}nrJia Try the best Indian cuisine in the City! + 10% discount with student ID + Parties for every occasion, with up to 50 seated in one room (166 seats total) + Hallal food available
Open: 12 noon - 2:30pm 6pm - midnight
+No smoking area +Newly refurbished restaurant +Fully licensed bar + Vegetarian food + Facilities for the disabled
Book now for Valentine's Special price for eat in and take away
45 Magdalen Street, Norwich Tel 762836 I 762845
4 NEWS
www .cone ret e-on Iine .c o.uk
Concrete
W EDN ESDAY, F EBRUARY
14, 2001
Bureaucratic booklet
BOSSES at the Beeb have spent t housands o n a brochure instructing their staff to " sit on the cheeks of your bottom." The 57-page boo klet, entitled Distressed? How To Avoid Problems also advises managers to dab thei r hands w ith lavender or sandalwood. Ori gami is suggested as a way of calming down and the re is a 21 -stage diagram of making a paper bird. If all else fails, employees are urged to stare at a p icture of the A lps and dream away.
McWorship
Libra[Y_Ju~ening.
A BAPTIST church in Houston Texas, is having a branch of McDonald's built next door to it. The fast-food chain is being erected so that hungry wors hippers will be able to eat before and after services . lt is also alleged that there are plans of introduc ing a new 'holy' burger.
times aRRal • • • I!P. un1vers1t1es
Every penny counts A WOMAN was threatened with court action because her dead mother owed a penny in counc il tax . Marlene Jenkin received the demand a yea r after her mum d ied, demanding she pay the arrears within seven days. Mrs Jenkin paid the fine outstanding money but described the situation as " insensitive" . Bristol council apologised , describing it as a system glitch.
A dead loss EMPLOYEES in t he French embassy in Morocco have stum bled upon fou r forgotten skeleto ns in a ra re ly-u sed room. Staff think t he re mai ns at the consulate in Casablanca could be French citizens w ho died during the ri ots therein t he 1950s. They were apparently b rought there , but then forgotten about, said report s last week.
A dead loss A MAN lost control of his paraglider and fell 1,500ft int o a tree in Bregenz, Austria . Miraculously he was unhurt, but then his luck ran out as he sl ipped on a pile of leaves and broke h is sho ulder.
By CHAR LOTIE RONALDS Ass istant News Editor
STUDENTS from universities across the country are stunned at t he openin g times of UEA's library - a Concrete survey has revealed. Libraries at top 4ua lit y uni ver, iti cs . includin g O x ford . Cambridge. Warwi ck and Durh am all keep their doors open for longer - with 75 9< or Cambridge 's librarie' being open around the cl od •. And ' tudcnt s arc not onl) appal led at the state of the Surprised L'EA lihrat') 's opening times hut they are also disappointed "Our lihral") closes at midnight on \\·cekdays and is open between "ith their O\\ 11. ··I' m surpri sed th at LIEA 9am and 5pm on Saturda) s. hut I stil l think that it should be 2-1 hour. closes so earl :. e'pecia JJ: at the weekend." said Durham I' m gc nutncl: surprised h) : our library \ cl osing hours." he saiu . student. John Smith . But Llnion Ac ademic Olliccr. o\mJ /\dam I kuman . "ho is studying at Wan1 ick c\pre "ed Emma Pri ce in sists the li 7hrary Dat:!llllt:::~!l!:::::!::=:sc:==:=c:=:::;, can·l -..tay open ror lon~cr - hcL·athl' it hasn't ~t>t till' luntls " In an ideal \\orltllihrarics \\'Ottld he llJ'L'n al l the tt tnc and nHlllL': would not he .t prohkm. hut \\ c U<>n't lt vc 111 an tdcal \\orld ... she said.
SELECTION OF FURNISHED HOUSES AVAILABLE FOR THE NEXT ACADEMIC YEAR INCLUDING: Adela ide Str eet, 3 bedroom fla t Trinity Street, 3 bedroom house Grant Street, 3 bedroom house Colman Road, 4 bedroom house Park Lane, 4 bedroom house York Street, 4 bedroom house Portland Street. 4 bedroo m fl at York Street, S bedroo m house Trinity Street, S bedroom house T horpe Road , 6 bedroom house
£34.61 £38.07 £38.07 £34.16 £41.53 £43.26 £46.15 £39.23 £48.46 £39.23
All properties have gas central heating and prices are per person per week For full avai labili ty of properties telephone:
01603 611145
NORWICH ACCOMMODATION AGENCY 62 Livingstone St · Norwich · NR2 4HE Email: officc @norwich-accommodation.co.uk Website: www.norwich-accommodation.co.uk
" I'd rather money he spent on books th an e\tend ing the opening
Frustrated hours." >he added. Bu t st udent s arc fnt-.trat ed h ) the early closing of the lihrar). " I' m only a first year. I hope that "hen m) degree doe, coun t. not on I) " ill the computer> be 2-1 hour. but access to the hook> \\ i 11 he a' we ll .'' said Dan Lecson (LLTI ).
. UEA library
CAMPAIGN VICTORY CONCRETE 'S Open All Hours campaign has already proved a massive success - with th e Union Food Outlet announcing plans to stay open for longer. Th e Union -ru n shop 1s changin g its cu rrent Saturday openi ng times to 8.30am to 5pm for a month 's trial from Februa ry 24. Un ion Communicat ions Offi cer, Wayne Barnes claims the extended times are thanks to staff agreeing to work for longer. "Th e staff have agreed to work for a trial period and if it works it's possible we will have to advertise for more staff," said
Wayne. But he warned that studen ts will have to use the shop to prove the extended openi ng times are worth while. "Al l the figures will be a nalysed at the en d of the month and we will see what happe ns from there," he cautioned.
SQUARE CINEMA REOPENS A CITY cinema has been given a new lease of life which months after closing its doors. T he Odeo n , at Anglia Square, was shu t dow n in O ctober but has now been re-opened as Hollywood Cinema - and promises to cater tor stud ents, writes Sarah Birch. Bosses at the ne\\ pic ture hou se. Angl ia Sq uare is too far all'ay. \\ hich still onl y has three scree ns. arc " I don't thin k it \\ill compete \\"ith L.:C l or Ster Cen tu ry. hecathe the offering a discount to students. location is too out of the \\'a):· said Manager of Anglia Square. Ro) Natalie 1\rm strong. (B IO .>). Ruggle> is ddtghtetl that th e bu ilding. \\ hich \\as dest ined to he tu rned into a Tempt concert ha ll. is being used for what it " Hol l) wood Cinema offering seats \\as origionall) built for. "it 's ve ry nice to feel that a cinema at £ I cheaper will not te mpt me all'a) from the UC I.'' said Daniel Ri chard is being used for \\ ha t it was original ly Bin (EAS }). designed for. We arc 1cry pleased that • A nd alcoho l lov ing students also are back with a cinema in Anglia have a new ve nue to try after the Cafe Sq uare .'' said Mr Rugg les. M aximo Bar opened yesterday. Bu t students arc not opt im is tic Th e bri ght. new drin ki ng spot. about th.: new cinema. cla im ing
si tu ated at the top of Tombland. hopes to reach out to student s. " llopefu ll y students wil l use it. b ery thing is reasonabl) pri ced. "i th cheap food and lots of drink offers. We arc going to be doing di, count cards in the futu re too:· enthused Max imo manager C lain.·
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
14, 2001
NEWS&
www .cone rete-on Ii ne.co.uk
Dr Adger is delighted the award - which has only been given to 35 others in the UK. "The award represents both a great recognition for but also for the type of interdisciplinary environmental research we do here in the School Environmental Science," he said.
James Platt Centre forced to refund illegal fees By CHARLOTTE RONALDS Assistant News Editor
A UEA resource centre has landed itself in hot water after operating illegally, it has been revealed The James Platt Centre, which i s based in LLT, has been breaking the law after charging students for compulsory materials needed for their courses. The JPC, has already proved to But now JPC members who be at the centre of controversy thi s have paid the fee, could be set to year, after insisting that students receive refu nds after it was pay a further £ 10 per to use the announced compulsory resources facilities, is now being forced to needed for a unit should not be eat humble pie. have to be paid for by students.
Yet this could prove to be an administrative nightmare as it is not clear what materials are essential for students' study and wh ich are not. And the refund process has also been slammed, as ripped off students will have to be checked against an enrolment list before being issued wi th a note to hand into the Finance Office. Non-JPC members wishing to use compulsory materials now have to hand their campus card in as a deposit and cannot remove materials from the cen tre.
Refused Dr. Janet Garton, Dean of LLT, refused to com ment, but claims the new procedure is straightforward and easy to understand. And Union Academic Officer, Emma Price welcomed the new policy. ''I' m pleased that th e JPC have responded relati vely swiftly and are giving retrospec ti ve refunds," said Emma. " I hope students using the JPC Illegal charges: James Platt Centre
TAKING A HIKE
Students to treck across Morocco for chariJv. BOLD UEA students will be thumbing their way to Morocco in an attempt to raise cash for charity this Easter. A 22-strong gang will travel across France and onto Afri ca for the Link Afri ca charity- which raises funds for educati on all across the continent, wrires Charlotte Ronalds. The group begin their 1,600 mile expedition at the end of March and they are set to arrive on North African turf just days later. Julie Silverlock (EAS 2), who is taking part in the hitch, defended worries that the trip is dangerous.
Emergency "We have to phone in to Link Africa every 48 hours and the other 48 hours we have to phone our emergency contact. We're ringing someone every 24 hours, so if we don't call, the police are alerted , so it really good and safe," she said.
And Paul Wilcox, who is UEA's univerisities. Link Africa rep, is confident that •Cheques can be sent directly the adventure will be a huge to the charity, whose patron is Sir success , explaining that the Ranulph Fiennes, but small university has been running the donations can be handed in at trip for three years. Concrete and will be passed on This year marks the tenth to Paul Wilcox. anniversary of this event, which other universities throughout the country also take part in. UEA students will be joined by hikers from Aberystwyth , Cambridge, Hull and Oxford On the road: Students walk for Link Africa
will give us feedback as to how it 's workin g," she added.
Entitled And for most LLT students the change cannot come soon enough. Said Bonita De Boer (LLT2) "This is fantast ic news, I paid £ I 0 and I'd defini tely like a refund if I' m enti tled to one·· But LLT student Hilary Wh itehead is still appalled by the
current situation. "Using the JPC is a tandard requirement of the course and is a vital resource centre that should be available to everyone. "The university is contravening standard procedures by not giving students access to faci lities." Added Hilary, " We're forced to pay every ; tep of the way and it's j ust a way of conning money out of people.''
TALENT 2001 ONE of UEA's most popular events will return next term - and it promises to be bigger and better than ever. Talent 2001 , run by Rag Society, is the follow up to last year's sell out show, which raised thousands for charity. And organiser Alex Mcgregor is calling out for talented students to take part. "If anyone is in a band, can do magic, or do impressions should come forward and apply because we have lots of cash and alcohol prizes;· he said. Email Rag on alexandermcgregor@hotmail.co
m.
r-----------·
~ ------------,
WE CUT THE PRICE YOU CUT OUT THE VOUCHER BRING THIS ADVERT WITH
X
YOU,ANDGET
£1
OFF OUR ONE HOUR DEVELOP AND PRINT SERVICE AND A FREE REPLACEMENT FILM!*
BONUS PRINT • 616831 3 White Lion Street (30 seconds from Virgin Megastore or 2 minutes from the market) • Offer nol ava1lable m cOnJUnCtiOn with any other offer. Offer only vahd w1th this voucher. Offer exp1rcs on February 28. 2001.
L------------~-------------~
& NEWS
www.concrete-onlin e. co .uk
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
14, 2001
Outcry as ublic allowed in uni car park By KATIE HIND News Editor
LIVID students are begging university bosses to put a stop to public users of the Sportspark from parking in the main car park whilst they continue to be charged. Curn:n tl y, Sportspark users have a separate p l ~ce to park- but if that overflo\\ s, they arc all owed to pa rk in the university one. which student'> hal't:: to pay an annual fee for. Caroline Gotscll (SWK 3) is angr~
that sh~ has to pay to park her car in the llr;,t place. "I don't agree 1\ith ha1 ing to pay for the car park and so it's wrong that the puhlic are taking our spaces so I think e1eryone should pa1. it's not fair on u, ...
Society giving the a lifetime
Student Drama Festival. They will be performing Shatter's epic play The Hunt of the Sun at Gregory's Arts Centre. play tells of the Spanish conquest of Peru and the tragic relationship that grew between the Spanish Commander Francis Pizarro and the Inca God King Atahuallpa. he play will run from ruary 28 until March 3. cost £6/£3.50 cone m St Gregory's Gift Shop r from UEA Drama Society.
said Caroline. And SOC student. Ryan McVcigh is disgusted with the steep price to park on campLh. "I think it's bad. especiall) as they ha\c just put the car parking ree up. "I ha\en·t been ahle to get a space sometimes 11 hich h really awkward:· said Ryan. But uni1crsity chich ha1·c dismissed the sllldents · outhursts claiming that student car parking is the least or their IHHTiCS. "The communi!) arc funding the Sportspark. ll•ll students or the uni11:rsit) so the public users ll'ho come in and pa) full price enahk us to con:r most ot the operating costs so that students can "I im in the best s11 imming pools and gyms in the countr) for [I:· said
Direc tor of Sport, Kei th N icholls. "Otherwise the extra costs would fall on the universit) and would cut into school budge ts. We arc not discriminating against students. hut agamst a ll university users," he added.
Claims And newly-appointed transport bo" Dawn Dc\1 ar c lai Ills that car parking is not high on the new
traffic :1gcnda. "I know that the car parking is in everyone's minds. hut for me that isn't the centre of what the tr;11 cl plans are about. so I want to stop focusing on hOI\ much it costs to rark." said 1\ls De11ar. And e1·en Director of Estates. Richard Goodall secs no reason why the ruhlic can 't take up spaces that studcrm ha1e alrcad) paid for. ''1'111 not sure it's unfair a' current!~ the Uni1ersity doesn't charge an) or ih visitors to park in the car park. so 11 hy should Sportspark users pay ''" said \1r Cioodall.
COMMUNICATIONS Officer Wayne Barnes has had his knuckles rapped after a Union committee upheld a complaint about the Rabbit newsletter. Complaints Committee issued th e rebuke after a complaint from Concrete about Rabbit's response to the paper's repo rting of allegation s about drug deali ng at th e Waterfront. The committee found that the was intended to attack Concrete editorial in the November 29 issue article contained a number of rather than state the Union's case. was potentially demoralising for factual errors, pre-empted th e But the committee also Union staff and that the Union had Union's own official inquiry, and com mented that the Concrete a right to respond .
Complaints Committee report 1) Factual errors (a) "The student initially accused door staff of planting th e pill in his trousers , a claim he later retracted ." We find that the statement constituted, in context, an error. At th e time of the Rabbit article, an inquiry into the allegation was taking place and th erefore the allegation was not at that time retracted . (b) "Concrete have been unable to prov ide any evidence to the inquiry..." We fin d that the statement was an erro r because Concrete were willi ng to suply the transcript of the interview with the student making the allegations as evidence to the inquiry. The first complaint is upheld. 2) Th e article was intended to besm irch the reputation of Concrete We refer to one particular sentence in the Rabbit article: "lt is also unusual for an allegedly reputable newspaper to print such allegations without ensuring that there is evidence to support them." Whilst we believe that this sentence challenges the integrity of Concrete, we recognise that the article in Rabbit was response to a potentially demoralising editorial in Concrete aimed at the repu tation of Union staff. We cannot deny that the article in Rabbit besmirches the repuation of Concrete but we feel that the series of articles in Concrete and Rabbit and the enusing complaint do not show either party in the best light. lt wou ld be
described most accurately as tit for tat journalism with each party gi•;ing a one-sided response to undermine comments made by th e other party. The students of UEA deserve better than this. Th e second complaint is upheld . 3) Procedure We recognise th at Rabbit should be able to respond to any comments in unj ustifi ed Concrete and we wouldn 't want to deny the editor of Rabbit thi s opportuni ty. However, we feel that in th e circu mstances, it was inappropriate to respond in such a tone under the title "Fact not fiction" whilst an official inquiry was being undertaken by the Ger.eral Manager. If the facts were clear there would have been no need for such an inquiry. We find that the Rabbit response was preemptive. The third complaint is upheld. Remedy As far as a remedy is concered, although we have upheld all three complain ts, we want to express once again that the behaviour of both parties was at ttmes lacking. Therefore we suggest that our full report is printed in the next copy of Rabbit along with a retraction as follows: "We now accept that there were factual errors in the article and we accept that it was inappropriate to print an article that tone under such a headline duri ng the official inquiry." At the same time, we invite Concrete to print our report in full.
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
14, 2001
NEWS7
www.concrete-online.co.uk
ELECTION SPECIAL • ELECTION SPECIAL • ELECTION SPECIAL • ELECTION SPECIAL
Sabb candidates state their case for v.our vote on Februarv. 22 ACADEMIC James Harrison
FINANCE Hamish Dublon
FINANCE Jason Wilby
Without us, the students, there would be no university. Do you feel powerful? You should. I want to empower YOU!! You should be in the driving seat of the Union. lt must be accessible to everyone. As Academic Officer I will be out and about getting YOUR opinions on how the Union should develop. Student reps are also a vital link between you and the Union; if you are not comfortable talking to a Union officer, there should be someone on your course who you can talk to. Vote James Harrison, and put yourself back in the driving seat.
Vote Hamish for Finance: Relevant and Realistic Issues for YOU! • Make more cash available for clubs and societies • Purchase more Union minibuses • Ensure that a new pub opens on campus, in place of Breakers 2 • Provide free student SportsPark entry and negotiate longer times for student access. I have the ideal background for the role of Union Finance Officer: • A former UEA undergraduate and current postgrad, I understand the issues that are relevant to you. • Active on three society committees, I have gained valuable experience how your Union works.Vote Hamish Dublon 1, and I will make your university life more fun!
The combination of working at the Union bar for the past 16 months and actually researching my policies has meant that my manifesto is realistic. The policies are based around the simple idea that the more people start using the Union again, the more money there will be to put back into it. Read my manifesto for more details. As a second year student I can offer you the guarantee that I will have your interests at heart, as at the end of my term in office I won't be able to run away from unfulfilled promises!
COMMUNICATIONS Emma Reynolds
FINANCE Paul Eldridge
WELFARE Lee Webster
When was the last time the Union did something that you benefited from?
My six commitments to you: • LCR happy hour every Thursday 10-
• I've worked in the bar for two years so I'm always aware of what the Union's up to. • I haven't made vague promises; all of my ideas have been directly discussed with those who would be involved in putting them into practice • If you elect me to office, besides improvjng your events programme, you'll know a damn sight more about what's going on in your Union and why • If I'm in office, you might be surprised at how much a sabb can change things when they want to.
• Conversion of Breakers into pool room • Bill Wilson Room to be converted to a small gig/club venue to allow cheaper and more diverse bands/DJ's to play • Money to improve the range of services offered by the Advice Centre • Carry out full environmental audit of Union's activities • Increase funding for clubs and socs as this is how most people interact with the Union Every penny cut on pints in the bars costs the Union £10,000 so for a full range of Union services ... Vote Paul Eldridge 1
As an LLT Students' Forum Representative and as Women's Officer I have consistently represented students within the Union. As Welfare Officer I pledge to: • Run extensive campaigns so students know where to get advice and support on all health matters. • Put safety at the top of the Union and University agendas and fight for better campus security. • Campaign to ensure that all students get adequate representation in the Union decision-making process. Vote Lee Webster 1 for a committed, experienced and capable Welfare Officer.
COMMUNICATIONS Casey Ryan
FINANCE Nick Philpott
WELFARE Polly Evans
For a powerful, effective Union, vote Casey Ryan 1
I am standing for this post as I have the ideal qualities, determination and motivation to make a good Finance Officer. What with being a Management student, an AT and having worked in the bars for two years, I am THE candidate who knows how to improve the Union for everyone. If elected I will provide the professional, non-political financial service which every Club and Soc can utilise. A vote for me will create a more competitive Union that values our custom and is more responsive to our needs. Vote for the candidate that will deliver, vote for me.
I have a dream ... .. .most nights! But what about welfare? I'm running for welfare officer because I want to see a union in which every student is aware of their rights, their rights to use union facilities, their rights to use union funds, their rights to support and advice, whatever the problem. Most importantly I want to see that everyone has the chance to have their voice heard. Approachable and enthusiastic I can help to make these changes happen. Not interested in high principles and politics, I just want to see this union working for everybody. Vote Polly Evans .... WELFARE.
FINANCE Jon Cox
FINANCE Andrew Turner
ALL POSTS Re-Open Nominations
11
Taking the Union out of Union House, bringing the Union to you. Nice words but how? A better, more informative Rabbit, Union notice boards in school common rooms, better signs around Union house, a weekly stall around university for you to air your views, an accreditation scheme for those involved in clubs and sacs, working with vocational students to meet their needs, powerful, effective campaigns to improve your time here.
Introducing me: I have had active involvement in a number of campaigns, societies and charities, and have tasted many Union entertainments! I am full of innovative ideas for charasmatic reform , and love people too. I am perfect for Finance Officer because I always keep a detailed record of what I spend in my diary! My priorities: ethical investment, getting Union money back to the students, and lending a listening and procactive ear to all student ideas and grievances. Please read my manifesto for a more comprehensive list of my plans! So if you want Cox, put 'one' in my box.
For the last two years I have done all the IT support for the Union, so I more or less know everyone and can easily communicate with anybody in the Union . Are you fed up with waiting for the old Breakers 2 and Lloyd's sites to be transformed into something useful? Do you writhe at the mention of an increase in tuition fees for (international) students? Do you want longer opening times for
RON is your last chance if you believe that none of the candidates standing for a particular post deserve to win. If RON wins, the Union will start the election process for that post again, giving new candidates the chance to put their name forward and run for the post. And because the Union uses the single transferable vote system, where you rank candidates in order of preference, rather than the traditional British system, where you vote for just one candidate, you can also vote for RON as a second or third choice when you want to vote for some candidates, but are particularly against the rest.
Mars Ice Cream Bars 4x62.Sml
--
JceCream
Ski Extra Fruit Light Yoghurts 4x 125g
Co-op Frozen Cheescakes 395g-400g
Chicken To-Night 500g-525g
Co-op Rais in & Lemo n Pancakes (6 Pack)
-~
Snickers Ice Cream Bars 4x56ml (not pictured)
Where to find us
Co-op Dishwasher Tablets SOOg (O riginal & Lemon) 25 's
.O pening ti:rnes Mon -Sat 8.00am to I O.OOpm Sundays I O.OOam to 4 .00pm
--+ CITY WATTON
CE NTRE
Cl:!
UEA
r
c:
rn Cl:! rn rr.____
__.
,1\\\ ! ~~ ~
'EATON
BHFOODSTORE Earlham Green Lane, Fiveways Ipswich & Norwich Co-operative Society Ltd. Offers subject to avai labity an d valid from 29/0 1/0 I until 18/02/0 I . Photographs are for illustration only.
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
LEADERS 9
www .cone rete-on Iine .co.uk
14, 2001
CONCRETE
LEADERS
LEADERS
Issue 122 Editor
Choc Horror
James Goffin
Watts the matter?
Keith Nicholls' insistence on allowing Nestle products to be sold in the Sportspark displays the Sportspark's indifference to student opinion. As well as insisting on charging money for water, the Sportspark also implicitly endorses the exploitation of third world countries. Hopefully Mr Nicholls will take note of the protest, and reassess his stance on products which contribute to the profits of a company criticsed by the United Nations for its attitude to welfare in third world countries.
GUILTY AS CHARGED
Deputy Editors
Adam Chapman Nick Henegan
The Vice-Chancellor has conceded that topup fees and loans only serve to put off talented students attending UEA. Why then has he apparently condoned one of UEA 's own schools charging its students for material vital to their courses? The University - just like the political parties- needs to decide where the money will come to pay for the continued expansion of higher education
News Editor
Katie Hind Assistant News Editor
Charlotte Ronalds Features Editor
Will Halsey
Revealing plans
Assistant Features Editor
BARE FACED
Jo Locke
CH[EK~
it's enough to give you goosebumps: only a few months from now, the European Nudist Sw imming Championships will descend upon UEA, with costumes thrown to one side for some strenuous skinny dipping. We know that the University said the Sportspark would change campus life; we didn't guess it would be like this.
Sports Editor
Alex Thorpe Editorial Contributors
Sarah Birch Laura Bullock Andreas Constandinos Elin Jones Amy Harris Tom Hines Bill Huddock Nicola Mallett Katherine Rowbotham Joanne Tebbutt Chris Webber
Letters to the Editor Tel 01603 250558 PO Box 410 · Norwich · NR4 7TB Fax 01603 506822 · E-mail su.concrete@uea.ac.uk
Full employment In response to the article "Shut up" (Concrete, Issue 121) I feel that one major element of it is quite ridiculously untrue. Quite frankly, I find it impossible to see how Union Communications Officer Wayne Barnes can say there is a problem with finding the staff to work late on weekday evenings, and more importantly, at the weekends in the UFO. There must be thousands of cash strapped students at UEA who are just crying out for a part time job which - if living on campus - would take minutes to get to, and would provide them with much needed ex1ra funds; and I'm one of them! I sincerely hope the Union get their act together regarding this matter - to the benefit of all concerned. Anthony Curtis MTH 1
Potty ideas I am writing in response to your article "On a high : UEA to play host to cannabis conference". While I was deeply dismayed at having read about UEA in such a light as "Top of the Pops: Union venues top city pills league table" (Concrete 119), I thought it was good journalism for Concrete to have ran the cover story, and elicited a response from Rabbit soon after. lt certainly brought much attention to a "problem" which requires concerted efforts, both from individuals and the Union. Jt sounds like a desperate attempt for student participation by the Union Welfare Officer, Pally Morgan to assert "any movement that involves students in political or sociological debates is a good thing." I disagree. As it had been reported, the LCA is after-all a "political party" for those who want to combat the cannabis law to stand for election, thus placing an emphasis in one direction. We need to ask ourselves if we want to be associated with Alan Buffry - the LCA candidate for Norwich South parliamentary seat. I can barely imagine UEA being known as THE "pro-cannabis" university in the country, and my friends e-mailing me to send them some by post! This is indeed a very important issue that ought to be debated, but outside the boundaries of any political affiliations. Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I really cannot see how one can juxtapose the Union policy of "zerotolerance" for drugs whilst at the same time arguing that hosting the annual conference of the LCA is a "good thing" for students? I am not surprised that the reply from Union Officers would at best be muddled or even take the form of "well, we'd never really get rid of this problem you know... and it's a pity we're in the spotlight for conducting searches. But wha-hey! The Union makes lots of money from
the gigs (and conferences) at its venues .. ." Personally, I would like to see the Union (a) enforcing a clear, concise, unambiguous policy and (b) tackling such important issues with the same determination, vigour and dedication with which they have successfully managed a multi-million pound business; as that would really be a "good thing" for UEA and its students. Garich Lim Shington HIS 3
Clean sweep I am writing to you re: 'Clean up your act' (Concrete, Issue 120). The article was concerned with drawing to our attention the lack of staff rooms within the university. I would just like to voice my support for this article. Living in residence, I know what a sterling job the cleaners do, and I think that they, at the very least, deserve a staff room or some other such area, out of the elements, for them to enjoy their breaks. lt seems rather odd that cleaners have to resort to sitting on bits of carpet on the steps of residences to have a cigarette. There are rooms situated at the entrances to the halls which are used for directing the cleaning operations every day. Why can't these, or the plethora of other free rooms that must be knocking around in the mornings be used by our cleaners? James Loffler LAW4
Start with a blank canvas Recently I have been wondering about the anachronistic nature of campus canvassers. Too often they are out of touch with the student of today,. and reflect outmoded beliefs about universities in general, and UEA in particular. Primarily, I am concerned with those individuals attempting to sell the Socialist Worker. Are you totally out of touch? Look at this university. lt is predominantly made up of WASPish, moderateconservative and, above all , bone idle people. We need to be sold a paper called Liberal-ish Layabout, or Apathetic Moderate. Although we'd prefer it if it was free and you brought it too us by hand , rather than selling it. Move with the times Socialist Worker. Most people, if they are truthful to themselves, are in favour of exploitative capitalism, providing they get to do the exploiting . Socialist Worker does not appear to cater for these people. This letter may provoke an angry storm (assuming
Photographers
Nick Henegan Katie Hind
that the two people who read socialist worker now constitute a storm). In pre-emptive answer to that tirade, my response is this: "If you really had a job, rather than being a lazy, surly, bandwagon jumping, pseudo-prole, then you wouldn't have time to protest or whinge about how unfair it is. You'd be too busy doing your job. You are not exploited workers, you are part of the burgeoning middle class, so act like it, and drop the phony social conscious." Rob Stevenson HIS 2 Head of the Aggressive Realism Society of England PS. No offence is meant to any exploited workers, living or dead who remain in this country. Although given the state of British industry, this is slim.
Caught short If you're short of a story you could look in to the fact that every condom machine in evert toilet on campus is empty! Me and my boyfriend found this out one Saturday evening. We then thought "Hmm, Nightline gives out free contraceptives," so we !reeked all the way to Norfolk Terrace only to find that it was shut. A less persistant pair may have given up but I dragged my boyfriend to the Health Centre where we rang for the nurse who finally gave us some condoms.
Advertising Manager
Clare Hamilton-Eddy Distribution Manager
Steve Quirke Concrete is published by UUEAS Concrete Soc1ety. © 2001 Concrete. ISSN 1351-2773. Opmions expressed are not necessanly those of the Publisher or Ed1tor. Use of the name The Event IS by arrangement w1th the copynght holders. Planet Z og Ltd. No part of th1s newspaper may be reproduced tl1rough any means w1thout the express permiSSIOn of the Editor. or a fantastiC team who each deserve a big Valentme·s smacker. Oh. and thanks for the knickers. g~rls. Pnnted by Eastern Count1es Newspapers. Thanks to UH Stewards and ECN.
The point is obviously not everyone would go to the measures we went to for such protection and I for one think it's terrible that every single condom machine is empty, which may be influencing people to participate in un-safe sex. Anna Wallwork DEV2 Please send letters to the address above, marked for the attention of the Editor, James Goffin. Letters must include contact details, but we will consider anonymous publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.
LOOKING FOR AN EVENING JOB TO SUBSIDISE STUDENT LIFE? ANGLIAN HOME IMPROVEMENTS COULD BE THE ANSWER. OUR FRIENDLY CITY-CENTRE OFFICE IS ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR EVENING TELEPHONE MARKETING STAFF. WITH FLEXIBLE SHIFTS AND FULL TRAINING, AN HOURLY RATE PLUS A TARGET-RELATED BONUS, THE BETIER YOU GET, THE MORE YOU CAN EARN. WORK AS FEW OR AS MANY SHIFTS PER WEEK AS YOU WOULD LIKE, AND START MAKING SOME BEER MONEY NOW! CALL NICK OR BECKY ON 01603 616391 DURING SHIFT TIME FOR FURTHER DETAILS AND AN INTERVIEW, OR LEAVE A MESSAGE ON THE ANSWERPHONE.
.
10 FEATURES
www .co·-,c rete c nline.co.uk
Concrete
WEDNESDAY , F EBRUARY
14. 2001
•
I
Are you are a perfect lady or gentleman between the sheets, or does your technique leave something to be desi red? Take the Concrete quiz to find out ... Yo u can 't pick up a glossy magazine these days without being forcefully informed just how well yo ur partner shou ld be doing between the sheets, or indeed in locations above and beyond the basic bedroom. Cosmo loves tel ling its readers just what th ei r blokes should or should not be doing , while FHM never fai ls in informing its male regulars of th e sexual escapades th eir girlfriends are capable of. So what really is the right and wrong of rogering? Wh at really is acceptable in th e heat of the momen t, and what are th e big no-nos? Are you a conscien tious lover, or would you treat a plastic replacement wi th just as much love and affection? Well , Concrete has pulled on its surgical gloves and delved deep into the world of sexual etiquette to let you find out if your loving is top of the class or very much in detention .
'
'
You are in no rush towards th e state of c m plete nakedness. but nevertheless fOU k. '"w what you 're aiming at. [l c) Immediately rip your lover's clothes off ·;i 1--t '3 savage intensi ty before taking chi ldt::;h p!n:::s· ""~ in th eir naked body. Ignore your own fully clothed state and dive straight in , forgetting ttlat clothes against bare skin can hurt. A lot u 2. Right, you 're naked, so wh at lighting arrangement suits your mood best? a) Strip lighting on full beam. You want to see th e pleasure rippling through your lover's face as you do absolutely everything they as:; Ar~ •f they don't ask, they'll just get everythtng. c b) Low lighting , and maybe candleli ght if the fire ri sk isn't too great You want to be able to look your lover in th e eye. but no harsh beams to highlight every bl emtsh . o c) Lights off. I mean. you don't want your lover to see th e crazed look of hunger blazing tn your eyes. 0
Like GCSE French, you have to do the oral at some point. But how do you head south?
1. You 've invited your lover in for 'coffee' and having not had a drop of the caffeine hit, you move swiftly on to the process of undressing . Do you: a) Rip off your own cloth es with superhuman speed and strength , then look expectan tly to your lover with your tongue hanging slightly out of your mouth . 0 b) Slowly remove your lover's cloth es while allowing him or her to return the comp liment.
3. Kissing. What approach do you take to these beginnings of foreplay? a) Mouth open, tongue out, eyes closed . 0 b) French kissing with a passion bu t not too much slobber. o c) Slobber, with a remarkable similarity to the big evil monster thing from Red Dwarf that
Graduate Students' Club Upcoming Events: Tuesday, February 13-- Pub Quiz Prizes ,include free dtink tokens for the winning team~ as well as one cash prize for the Accumulator. Other quizzes each fortnight.
Friday, February 23-- Live Music Map ofTazmania will be playing folk and Irish music. Other entertainment scheduled each fOJtni.ght on Friday.
Happy Hour Monday 8-9pm~ Friday 7~8pm Fosters, John Smiths, Strongbow £ l Real Ales £1 Shots £1
Guiness and Kronenbcrg £) .40
The Graduate Students' Association (GSA) is the rcpl'\...-scnl.ing body or all Postgraduate stttdcnts. I( you have any questions or cooccrns, please etnail:
GSA@t:EA.AC'.tJK
"I do like what you're ·doing under the table, but you 'll need both hands to eat your muffin ... "
removed people's brains with a straw.
o
4. Manual stimulation is desired. How do you approach this move? a) Wait for you r lover to make the first move, then get down th ere and start rubbing. Hard . That's how people like it, isn't it? 0 b) Gently move yo ur lover's hand down to where you wa nt it to be, taking th ings at a pace that suits you both . o c) Slam your lovers hand into th e endzone, almost wrenching their arm out of its socket. Well, a little guidance never hurt anyone, did it? Not much , anyway. o 5. Like GCSE French, you have to do the oral at some point. But how do you head south? a) Wait to be led. Then really get to work, and I mean really. We're talking lockjaw here. o b) Kiss down your lover's body giving them ample warning while also teasing them. If they don't want it, th en they have the chance to say ro o c) Simple technique. Pop down for about 90 seconds the n it's straight back up. Then , pressure on your lover's head should level up the 0 situation nicely. 6. OK, it looks like you 're getting to the point of no return. But who 's responsibility is contraception? a) Yours. In fact , you have a six month store. originally obtained due to millennium bug panic, but now carried around in boxes of 36. Well , you never know. 0 b) Shared , but you are prepared to take responsibility yourself, should the need arise. o c) Contraception? No problem. Isn't the morning after pill available in the shops now? There you go then . o 7. As any half decent Premiership football manager would tell you, penetration is the key to success. But who decides when the crucial moment should take place? a) Your lover. really, but you' ll be dropping hints. And opening legs. o b) This is a mutual decision, and both parties have to be ready. Or it could make for a sticky o situation . c) You do, of course. Since when did your lover have any say in anything whatsoever? o 8. You're now involved with the cut and thrust of the actual act, so is the rhythm you 're adopting more Barry White or Ricky Martin? a) You don't really have much say in this, you just lie th ere. o b) A little bit of Barry White, with possibilities of
Ri cky Martin as an encore. Th ere's no double meaning th ere, by th e way. D c) Less Ricky Mart in than Limp Bizkit. Rollin' rollin ' roll in' roll in' indeed .................................. .o 9. Like a good Hollywood film , a satisfying climax is crucial. But how crucial to you? a) You don't mind if you're coming or going as long as your lover is happy. 0 b) it's important for both people, and while not th e absolute be-all and end-all , it's certainly nice. 0 c) Crucial to you for sure. I mean , you need your sleep, don't you? Your partner, meanwhile, can do it themselves if th ey're that bothered. 0
10. Post orgasmic bliss sounds like a pretty nice place to be, but where does it take you? a) Happiness is relative, and you 're happy if your lover is. 0 b) Dozing in your lover's arms and possibly o murmuring a few words of affection. c) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. o
Mostly As : You 're keen, wh ich can be a really good thing . But you 're very keen. In fact , you're obsessed with doing everything your lover wants. And while this will keep him or her happy to some extent, most people like to give pleasure as well as receive it. What you need to work on is actually thinking less of your partner; your politeness is much appreciated, undoubtedly, but lying there like a faithful hound won 't have most people barking with delight. Mostly Bs: You are pretty balanced in your love life. In fact , Cosmo or FHM would be proud. You are aware of a lover's needs, which is important, but you're not obsessed and want some pleasure too. In te rms of etiquette, you won 't disappoint too many people if you stick to this middle ground , although you don't want to get stuck in a rut. Mostly Cs: You've got problems. And while criminal charges are not completely out of the question , you won 't be keeping your lovers for very long . it is likely, though , that the problem of lovers not sticking around won't bother you ; you have absolutely no regard for them at any stage If you want to improve this situation, then the first thing to do is to stop thinking of yo urself, and start thinking of partners as real living things that breathe and everything . Then , decide how the experience could be made pleasurable to them. In the meantime, try to find the person who invented masturbation and send them a pleasant thank you letter.
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
14, 2001
www.concrete-onl ine.co.uk
FEATURES 11
With Valentine's approaching, Concrete decided to play campus cupid and send two of UEA's finest on a blind date. Jo Locke tagged along to see how it went ... something.• The date 'We had a very nice dinner and we enjoyed it a lot:• Franz confides. "The food was very good although it was too much even for me, the pizza was huge!" Unfortunately, half way through the
ife at UEA can be a lonely affair. Travelling from seminar to seminar, sitting faceless and incognito (if not asleep) in lectures, known to the University as a registration number not a name. How can you meet the right person to share in your battle against the harsh Norfolk winds? How can you find that special someone to make you forget the rainsplashed grey campus? For one, you can sign up for the Concrete blind competition, and win a free meal for two at swanky city restaurant Auberge. That's what . Franz and Briony did - but did they find love?
L
Franz Wegener LAW4
says Briony. "I don't know what to expect, I just want to have a good night and meet someone new." Friends, though, may be as far is it goes. "lt would be good if we got on well evening, the fire alarm~ra:n::g~,------------~ leaving everyone enough to be friends but I don't expect anything else standing outside for to happen. lt would be thirty minutes. But, quite funny if we couldn't says Franz, the stand each other!" The alarm didn't put a date is also proving a few dampener on the people wrong. 'When I evening. "There were applied, my friends never rumours that thought that I'd actually do Concrete had set off it," she explains. "But I the fire alarm in case thought it would be a the conversation laugh as I've never done dried up!" he reveals one before." though. Luckily, the The date "lt was good fun," Briony conversation wasn't too much of a confirms. "The mussels were fantastic and I'd problem, thanks to definitely recommend the the Concrete love restaurant. I'm really glad computer's match that I went and we had making skills. 'We plenty to talk about." Both being interested in talked a lot about travelling and places we have been to," says travelling, geography provided a good conversation point. "He told me about all the Franz. "I found her really interesting and not at places he's been to, especially Poland, and all shy.• And the evening didn't end at the restaurant, which is definitely a good sign. 'We went to Po Na Na afterwards to round up a nice evening," continues the German. "She met up with a few friends of mine and we all mixed together. I wasn't disappointed that there was no romance.• Sadly, there will be no more, though. "I had a great evening, and I really like her, but I think that is it," he explains. 'We weren't on the same wavelength." Another Blind Date? "I would go on another blind date again at any time• he says positively.
Personal file Likes travelling and meeting new people. He enjoys going out and meeting friends in pubs and clubs, and likes windsurfing and badminton. He is interested in photography and writes for a Berlin newspaper at home. He is also interested Briony Hoare WAM 1 in politics and social sciences. He is always interested in doing something that he hasn't Personal file done before. Ukes travelling and studying history of art. She should be... She enjoys visiting galleries with friends and "My ideal blind date would be quite worldly, and going out to pubs and bars. Briony also goes to the cinema as well as going to music interested in things that are going on outside UEA campus," Franz explains. festivals in the summer. She likes Massive "I hope that she'll be outgoing and openAttack, Portishead and Nightmares on Wax minded, and into especially. blind dates! I'm r~==---------~-~----~H~e~s~hould be... really looking "My ideal forward to it, but blind date I don't know would be what to expect." openIndeed, Franz minded and certainly has interested been looking in things forward to the going on in date with the world," ~ey~
I've been walking around campus and seeing girls, i•ve been wondering if each one will be her," he admits. "I wonder when I meet her whether I'll recognise her from the Square or
~
explains. "I don't want someone who really loves himself and talks about himself the whole time." Nevertheless, she is looking forward to the occasion. "I think the date should be quite fun, and I'm not really nervous,•
made me guess all the countries he's seen," she reveals. And thankfully the fire alarm didn't ruin her evening either. "The fire alarm was a real surprise and it was quite funny having to stand outside whilst the whole mall was evacuated." Again, the continuation of the evening was welcome. 'We met up with my mates after the meal in Po Na Na and I met some of his friends too" she explains. "I had a good time." Another blind date? "I probably would go on another blind date," says Briony, which suggests the Auberge affair went well. "If he was a friend of a friend I'd definitely go," she confirms. "I'd rather go out with someone who I had met before." But as she expected, in this case it was nothing more than friends. "Unfortunately there wasn't any chemistry with Franz, and it won't go any further in the future," she states. "But I had a good time and it was fun.• • Concrete can still help you find a partner place a free personal ad in our classified section! See page 18 for details.
Fed up with
your studies?
111111
'
Concrete's 2001 Sex Survey is complete, and surprise, surprise, UEA's student body has got to grips with many a student body. Will Halsey examined the sordid details... he beast with two backs, the birds and bees, or perhaps a sly boning in a fay-by on the M25 - the subject is sex and it is one in which UEA students are doing the research. And handing in some pretty dirty wor1< too. Over 200 of you replied to Concrete's second sex survey, of which about 90% had actuaff( had sex. The results threw up some fascinating facts regarding the bedrooms of UEA studen:s, including an astonishing number of women who have had sex in public, while more than twice as many men then women are using the intemet for carnal pleasures. The survey also threw up the unfortunate case of one student who was, er, thrown up on during sex. More women (60%)
T
Girls' perfect penis size
Boys' average penis size
lads, not pleasure - sorry. On to the more gritty details of the number of sexual partners, the majority of students have only had one encounter while at UEA. In terms of total partners, the number increases, although the majority of ladies stiff have only slept with one person. The blokes' majority falls at three, but for both sexes, plenty have had multiple partners. The top score for the girls is a modest 50, considering one man claims 6000 partners. Perhaps someone should explain that pictures don't count. Of all the sexual encounters students have enjoyed (or puked up during, depending), not many came through one night stands. To somewhat shatter the reputation of the LCR, around half the respondents have never had a brief sojourn with an unknown. Plenty have had a few (44% for men and 29% of women) while 10% have had five to ten. Only 1% of men have had over 10 , though, compared to 6% of women. So muctl for the biological urge to spread the seed - the men of UEA are picking and choosing who will receive their teaspoonful of love. Exactly where that love is deposited is another question, with over 32% of men having participated in anal sex, along with 15% women. Ukewise, bondage has a reasonable following, with one in five enjoying being tied up, though how many take it much further is unknown. One infamous complaint with university housing, though, is that there is nothing to attach handcuffs
to, which suggests there is loyal following. Be careful, though, because one girl's best sexual experience was described as "handcuffing my ex and leaving him". Explain that one to the cleaners. Almost one third of the girls have invested in hands-free kits, but only about 20% of the lads have tried phone sex. Around 20% again have had same sex experiences, of which 80% are gay and lesbian respondents, leaving around 6% of the heterosexual population that have experimented. Many will not be surprised that men have embraced the technology of intemet sex while women sensibly stick to the phone (19% of men are on the net, 5% of women), but it is perhaps unexpected that as many as one in five males have tried to master one-handed typing. Bear these numbers in mind when you next have an overnight
In terms of position, men don't like looking at their partner's face, with 40% selecting doggy style as the favourite position. The women prefer the female dominant position, which allows them to control the pace of proceedings, and hopefully avoiding the old 90 second problem. However, the classic missionary position is used most, while a third do use the girl on top position more than any other, suggesting it is the girls and not guys getting what they want between the sheets. lthough recently replaced by Bush, the infamous William Jefferson Clinton was absolutely instrumental in bringing oral sex into the public eye, although one UEA respondent did that literally, forcing his unfortunate partner into hospital to have the eye checked up.
A
meanwhile, 35% masturtbate a few times a week while one in five knock one out daily. Only 10% of girls masturtbate with any degree of regularity. On the separate boys and girls sections, worrying news emerged for the boys. Quite simply, they ain't big enough. Although an equal majority (43%) say penis size doesn't matter, another 43% want a full eight inches. For the lads, meanwhile, the majority boast only 6 inches. A tiny minority of men stated elephantine (perhaps to cover something else that's tiny) while a sad 2% confessed a 2" dick. One girt in particular was unhappy with this, stating simply "two inch willy" as worst sexual experience. lt gets worse for the boys with only 30% of women experiencing multiple orgasms. On top of that, a full 50% of girls fake it, with 44% doing a Meg Ryan occasionally, and a sad 6% frequently. ,...._ _ _ _ Better news for the chaps is that 67% have never suffered from impotence, although one guy reported his worst experience as when "the little man lost interest for a while".
W
hile neither the nineties
nor the '' naughties are seen as promiscuous in the way of the sixties, the level of sexually transmitted diseases are rising,
The survey also threw up the unfortunate case of one student who was, er, thrown up on during sex
Oral sex? Boys: Enjoy Giving Receiving
57% 71%
Girls: Enjoy Giving Receiving
Spit or swallow?
56% 72%
were willing to reveal ' ' their intimate details than men. Whether this is down to bravery or the opportunity to complain about UEA's male population is unclear, but while handing out surveys in the Hive it certainly appeared that plenty of lads were interested but too embarrassed to ask for one. And on some of the results from the women, it is easy to see why. In terms of sexual orientation, 85% of respondents were heterosexual, with 7% bisexual and 8% gay. Indeed, all groups were represented, ircluding one gentleman who preferred to be classed as 'postsexual'. No, I don't know either. While some of the replies came from people determined to keep their virginity intact until marriage, most had lost their cherry, wRh the popular age falling between 16 and 18. From recollections of girts' worst sexual experiences, the first time seemed to be one to forget, with pain and bleeding among the tender memories. There was no correlation on this with the men, clearly showing that the chaps were sensitive to their ladies' feelings during that initial penetration. lt was pain,
Favourite positions .••
Swallow
Boys
53%
30%
Doggy style Girt on top Missionary Standing up 69
Puke
Girls
Spit
17%
Most used positions•••
Girl on top M issionary Doggy style Spoons Standing up
session in the computer centre finishing that essay. That's not their leg they're scratching... Perhaps the most dramatic statistic is that almost three quarters of UEA's women have had sex in a public place. Shocking, when you consider that only 46% of men have admitted to this one. Now, either men and women have d ifferent ideas of 'public', or the streets of Norwich are seeing scenes of girl on girt action. I'll leave that one up to you.
Boys 40% 19% 17% 10% 8%
Girl on top Missionary Doggy style other Spoons
30% 30% 26% 6% 4%
45% 23% 15%
Missionary Girt on top Doggy style Other Spoons
43% 30% 11% 9% 3%
8%
3%
hen it comes to the downright dirty details of how long, how often, and in what position, the replies a re somewhat eye and leg - opening. The majority of students have sex a few times a week, with an energetic fifth managing it daily or more. In terms of time, sex lasts on average about 30 minutes, with an equal spread (15%) of people having sessions of a quarter of an hour and 45 minutes. Thankfully, only 3% of respondents ticked the 90 seconds box, but these initial figures may be a little premature...
W
Stiff, when it comes to mouth to muff administration and fellatio, UEA students are right up there. Or down there, as the case may be. Indeed, the survey has demonstrated a high level of satisfaction with 57% of men and 56% of women enjoying the trip down south. Shockingly, though, over a quarter report not enjoying being given oral sex. This somewhat shatters the old saying that there are two types of men, those who like blowjobs and those who are dead. Another surprise comes with the spit/swallow debate, with a majority of women and gay men saying they do swallow (53%). Around a third opt to spit - though where or on what is not clear while 17% puke. For those 17%, they would be well advised not to get too proficient down there, for if they're too good unpleasant scenes could well erupt. Continuing the surprising statistics, apparently only 93% of men masturtbate, sadly showing that not all people take these surveys seriously. Of the girts, 53% enjoy solo sessions, although the average only do it monthly or a few times a year. For men,
off; this wouldn't have anything to do with the sight of a naked man, would it? inaRy, the best sex and worst sex reports threw up some interesting responses, with some sordid, some delightful, and some frightening. Indeed, several women basically stated rape as :heir worst sexual experience; "he was very forceful and if I'd said no he would have done it anyway". Another stated the first time - "I didn't want to do ir. Another simply "rape". These results are shocking, and with date rape on the rise, it appears vigilance is required, which is a sad state of affairs. Other worst experiences pale into insignificance against such recollections, but the first time for girls was not pleasant. For others, a "damp squelchy field" did not provide a happy place for the beast with two backs, while cars are not good venues either, especialy, according to one respondent, the Fiat Cinquecento. A few men report premature experiences as the worst - "coming in 15 seconds" - while drink came up time and time again.
F
When it comes to mouth to muff administration and fellatio, UEA students are right Up there
....... 10_.........dldn,,.._,ol Belrv bOI8d . . . . . LCR w11b.....,..
..,....,
lt
....... ,.,
1) Being locked in a pavilion with Andy Flintoff 2) Sex on the roOf of a 70 story skyscraper 3) Behind a waterfall somewhere • A""rlhir>n
with risk
Michelle Gellar Shamr'lll in the speakers at the House of
Group sex with firemen Shower
Group sex on a beach Directing a pom moVie Being a prostitute and get· raped first year please
Being tied up Jumping out of a plane 14) Sex in my room at UEA (haven't done it yet)
Best experiences 15) Having sex with a Cedbury's Creme Egg are far more Let's just say it Involves melted chocolate and pleasant, with Baileys "we did it by a 16) Kippers church in 17) Nice guy in a suit Wiveliscombe in 18) Jayne Middlemiss on the set of the Ozone Somerset- it . -- - ...... 19) Ubrary
- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - was especially among the young. However, it appears freezing but ve ry good" coming top for UEA is not responsible for this geographical detail. Geography certainly problem. Indeed, 93% of men appealed to most people, with Paris and 96% of women have never popular - "in a hotel corridor" - or •on contracted an STD. Of the the boat to France". The UEA lake minority that have, chlamydia, a popular venue, with parents' beds thrush, pubic lice and crabs also coming in for some action, one were mentioned. providing "my best ever orgasm•. One of the reasons for this is in Perhap~ most pleasant is the lovely attitudes to contraception. Two "candles, open fire, massages, duver. thirds of men state condoms as Ahhh. their preferred method of contraception, while girls u ltimately, though, the survey suggests that all favour the pill. However, a students really want is to be normal, and the huge number of respondents ticked both condoms sexual prowess slats show this more than and the pill, suggesting that contraception is big any other. The vast majority marked their personal issue on campus. Indeed, one person stated their prowess around seven, just a nice average score. worst sexual experience as simply •no protection". But what exactly does a normal UEA sex life The figures surrounding the recent introduction of involve? the morning after pill without prescription are also Well, probably under five sexual partners, slightly interesting, and suggest there are not too many fewer at UEA, one of which you would sleep with a Daily Mail readers on campus. Around a quarter few times a week for around half an hour believe it should not be freely available, but the probably in the missionary position but vast majority are happy it is, although a few maybe girl on top. You would definitely complained about the high price. Looking at this in masturbate if a bloke, less likely if a conjunction with the other attitudes, it is surely fair girt, and will probably have had sex in to say that UEA's students are not looking at the public. If you're a girt you are perhaps slightly disappointed with your lads' morning after pill as a form of contraception, even more so at £20 a pop. penis size, but pleased he doesn't There are also such positive attitudes when it suffer from impotence too often. comes to how happy people are with their bodies. Meanwhile you are sensible with contraception, didn't particularly enjoy Both males and females are pretty happy with their your first time (girls more so), are happy bodies, with only 20% either unhappy or very unhappy. the moning after pill is available and This is not entirely borne out by whether people have sane pretty sordid sexual memories, both good and bad. want the lights on or off while bumping and grinding. Basically, women generally prefer them But who wants to be normal?
8XCIIM amol.lltof pWet The blolla WD1'811y
Fantasies Top 50
Sex on camera On a ping pong table Sex with an amazing stranger Love In an elevator Billy from Neighbours/Shane WesUife Tying up Sarah Churdwell Dressing up as a nurse Pacey from Dawson~ Creek
Some domination Princess Lela and the gold bikini Sex with Roger Black ) Threesomes Met C
Bondage/submissive
34) Jacuzzis 35) Older men 36) A whole vampire thing 37) Rotlble Wllliams 38) Sex with aH three bar managers at once 31) In a rowing boat 40) Earltl shattering sex with an older guy for one night only
41) Meeting a guy who could give me Ofg88ffi • not too much to ask Is
Sex with Angel Rugby players Sex aver the kitchen sink parents are home Damsel chained up In dun-
lllm Ill the llflht MCI Met to lllllkia - r excuee tD ID Girl was not very acoomplllhed In a toilet ... ......... boya out.ldethe door
•••Worst sex
._. AI . ......., ._...faiMNdbJ nae . . . . I got c:ral\1) In my leg hllf way .....
No pratecllon Threesome Behind the village haH Getting caught In the back of the cinema Quiclde at frfend't party with wHd guy Sex on the beach and the sand got everywhere In my parents houlel Yukl Why do we do lt?l Wlth a lecturer His frtend Wlllbd In half way lh«aUgga Two inch willy My tiNt boyfriend With a big gk1 (I am a thin bloke) In the loos at the LCR ·I fell oft the toilet MCI ended up In~ t.l Under the pier • sandy knob Too 8hort I fell asleep 1t1ng ....... In the middle ottlae LCA Wdc8 up wlh apoay adoleecent on top d me who came alar 15 __..on "'I stomach Wllh a e11ar Partlllrllmling up 81 over me
lhniiWIIIIGbeer cane OYW ud waiting for to come out Limp dlcked old man OUtside • freezing and uncomfortable night ebUid with al'lilnd On parbedroom carpet In the rain behind a block In London and uught on With a ginger bloke Too pined to One night stand and guy puked up for half .. hour Wlllt • guy nothing Flr8l time I gave a ..-............ . . . . 801M0Mtrled to a.t ... • GUIIM Being .-n r8C8Ivlng Ol'lleex In public _ _ . . _ ..... .... . . roont ln1he
14 FEATURES
www.concrete-online.co.uk
Concrete
W EDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
14, 2001
Valentine's messages Got a long term lover or just think that certain someone in your seminar group fancies you? Now is your chance to see how they really feel with this collection of campus sweet nothings ... · 1. , me forever! Nathan lnd Y,uise Succ · } your lustful urges! To Lee ho does computing I've been hoping to 'bump' into you at the LCR or the pub but you are never there. Just what do you do with your time?!
To Emma P I know I'm one of many, but I hope you'll pick me from the bunch (like a ripe bananna). Hope to see you in yoga soon
?
io m'/ W afa'~e .
Fantasti c Mr Fox- I love you!
inan¥- vou \of ma~'~9
To Lucy in the Village: hop on baby!
Love you Gem!
and you make my heart pound! Go out with me... please?
XXX
To my boyfr iend Daniel, from his wiggly woman Angel: you're my Valentine from his devoted sex slave
L Bunny, I love you more and more each day. Thanks for all you have done. I love your cuddles more than anything. J Bunny
Ryan,
m'/ last '/ea! at un' I have admired you tne pest '/et\ in your Spiderman \..O..,e al~a'/s. outfit from afar, so '/ouf little please spin a web of misS·
Stav ro s get your speedos on you promised! Lots of love, number 24
love for me baby.
To the cast of Ma cbet h For rehearsing on Valentine's Day, your director loves you Nixi, pixie, love you, miss you. Even though you're still here.
To Floppy Blower You know you want my babies. Come and get it! Kate XX
To the hairy one, now and forever - I love you Jeff Ro berts - when you've tongued my moist love mound, I'll sit on your face and spin around Woody - a man who makes me laugh, love Kat All the best to Tim and Jane!! Toms you are so wonderful and sexy love Rach xx Dear Dog-Malog, You still rock my world - you sexy bitch. Love, Swedish porn star Just to say , Sanjay, I think you're great We've got a lot in common And not just our political opinions From your tall dark curly haired admirer
Oliv ia, I've seen you around and I think you are amazing. Be mine?
Moose In the words of Johnny baby "Seems that all I was really doing was waiting for you ." Lots of real love from your woman. XXX.
To my dark haired northerner You'll always be my Once, twice, three times a lady!
J, I've been pining after you all term. I'm the one who stares at you in lectures! Love,
Gavin Reed, I love your footballers thighs. Please let me stroke them sometime soon. Yours forever, Fluffy bunny.
To my B eautiful Angels, Stay cool, Stay sexy, Stay mine. Love you all, Charlie.
X Kate Kate I think you're great Your thin blond hair lt makes me stare I want to weep I want to cry Say you'll love me 'Till I diet (P.S You're much prettier than the other one) Get on the ho {love) train! Love you all, bitches!
H Alun, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove, oh no. it is an ever fixed mark, which looks on tempests and is never shaken." I love you so much, Genie. Dear Nicole, You are beautiful and funny
XXX
M,
K
L
To my Jullet, I'm glad you are mine, my only Valentine. All my love your Romeo.
All my love, always Axxx Dear Grant I would like to take this opportunity of an overcommercialised, minor saints day to remind you that you are fantastic. Rach, I've confessed all Ahh.
To R lcky Dicky Wllson I like a man to be a real man Which is certainly what you are Perhaps I could have a play with your cricket balls sometime? From your secret admirer
I love you a big whole lot. You're my favourite everl!l Love A
To my big fat lump of love, Miss you lots and will always love you, Your ickle princess My cl angmaster l over. You are the best at everything you do, especially what you do tome. Me love you long time baby! To my d arling Sandy it's become tradition! I love you, A dam
EJ.BJ? Thought not. Love you
Charlotte Happy Valentines Day, sorry it has taken me so long.
le ant to lick you up and down 'till you say stop. I want to play with your body Rosie and make you feel hot
Baby, Thanks for all the laughs, support and silliness! Always yours P
N
~''"oe~ote
Sor ry I did not match u last year's Valentine's Day but if you come home with me tonight I got something I will give you that you will always cherish for the rest of your life - Clangmaster Nlcky Wire B oy I really fancy you. Lets go to Australia and Slllijk~!flilm. If you tol "!r.then your boil ill be
next.
turn on, can 1 nurse it? Florence Nightingale
XXX
Alex Stott, When I see you I get all hard. Luv your secret admirer. To Manly Man I know we've had hard times but know that I love you and trust that we'll survive. Grow old with me the best is yet to come. From Storkmaiden
Helena, I will always keep my elephantine penis for you Love Lewis
Flossy I lov e you Barrrr! Darsey means nothing to me.
Dodo love SOSO x Fantastic Mr Fox! You are my number one All my love
? You are my sharky, sexy love machine and you make me dribble and take up the fags!! Lovely g irl who works in the library. I wish I could get you
My darling J o nnylkl I love you tons Emsie xxx
~~~ort
To my darling princess Remember the moon and the stars
Hope we're always friends. Love you loads, J.
take me, find me, grab me, and shag me. Love ur lustful older women XXX
Clare, Nothing gets me harder Than watching you r Gymkhana Forget about Joe He's got no knackers Give him the elbow And we'll ride like the clappers
X.
XXX
UEA 's marathon man Run towards my bed Luci nda I can help work your You're gorgeous body Hannah And maybe io m'/ podl,n<l· use your Hello Bobs. I am caugli\ ff\'/ pac\1. \0 head \\\l! ocean me. all the daddy Love? \ can tnin\1. o\ Adam in iS '/OU · Waveney F3, \..O'~e S\l.ll\I.S'/ I love you so much, Hi Chad knowing I can see you Flavour of the month! from my window makes my Happy Valentines Day. day - every day. Grrr Love, Sarah Letting Hello PC I love you
Danie l Nash
U have one more chance to
(.~'.\'ir:3~F ~r~ om ~, Valentine
Little Baby Nothing To Anthony Little This is certainly not what you are. I'd love you to give me a private lesson. I find you · credibly attractive. ?
Row your way to me I love your look I love your smile Perhaps we could snog for a while?
Gemma, you are divine. Let me bring a bit of comedy into your life, J.
To the sexy lambert from Waveney Terrace, Bloc{A floor one. You are by far the most s man I've ever met. Happy Valentines. Love you Secret admirer To DC (formerly DD) I see you in the bar you 2nd year maths and I have to say I love your pants - lustful 3rd year
To my Koala You're a perfect 1:1 I love you Chomp Chomp
N
All my love forever Your Pumpkin
Dear J o nathon I've noticed a disturbance in the force. Let me play with your light sabre and I'll soon turn you to the dark side BIG BOY.
Nikki, Aren't you a lucky girl? You got to live with me all year... despite me never doing any washing up and always leaving the top off the peanut butter. Cheers m'love. Adamxx
~--
-
--
------ --¡~-
- -- - -------- --------------
- - ----- - - --- - - - - - --------
--
FEATURES 1&
www.concrete-online.co.uk
Concrete WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2001
11
11
1n
1n
Smug couples, morning breath and a lack of self-respect: all sensible reasons for avoiding the mingers at UEA. Adam Chapman explains ... AM. SINGLE. Three words that are about as socially acceptable as skid marks, nose hair and admitting that you genuinely believe that Ann Widdecombe is quite a reasonable woman. The assumption is made that if you are single, then it is merely common sense to assume that you are in need of a man/woman (two separate entities, not a hemaphrodite). Asserting that you are happy with being single is met with a response which is, at best, drenched in pity. Why would anyone choose to be single when the finest specimens humanity has to offer pack the very streets we walk in? Two words: "fine" and "city" (and I'm guessing that they weren't intended in an ironic way when describing our somewhat less than beautiful residents) . lt comes as no surprise that UEA, like anywhere else, has its fair share of single people. Why else would people flock to a dark smelly room every Thursday night in order to pull some random stranger? UEA, however, is the carrier of a rather unfortunate disease, one that makes hitherto rational men and women copulate with whatever comes along. This invariably means that you convince yourself that you fancy someone who, anywhere else in the country, would be considered to be either distinctly average or a minger extraordinaire. lt is unsurprising that, with such a high propensity of not very striking looking people, the ethos of "settling for what you can get" is so very common around here. lt is this situation, this pulling someone whose idea of style is popping into your local Morgan!Topman, that leads me to thank God that I am single. (Anyone who adds at this stage that I am probably only single because 1 am such a snob, then your comment has been duly noted and ignored). There is a counter argument to this, though. If there are so many unattractive people around Norwich then surely by process of hierarchical elmination people of equal ugliness would be able to pair off. This is all well and good and possibly
I
''
true. These people are happy. Fairy tale wedding and semi in Watlord ensue. My problem comes from people who tie themselves into
;;;;::~beca"'Le
they{\.(..
~(,. ~
~JI ~
seem to be basic common sense to conclude that if you are surrounded by people to whom you have no attraction at all, the best possible solution would be to stay single and not tie yourself into a "relationship" (that most cursed of words) with a complete troglodite. This, though, is not the only reason why being single at this time in our lives is a good thing. Indeed, the idea that going solo is tantamount to wearing a bell round your neck while various body parts drop off is, I believe, the result of centuries of propaganda. 11 has been designed by millions of doomed couples who actually look back on the time when they could "play the field" with regret . Their main aim in life is to make everyone as unhappy as they themselves are. 11 appears to me that these couples (even the smug happy ones) are the very best reason for staying single. Who in their right mind would want to make the chameleon-like transmogrification into someone whose idea of social superiority is to talk incessantly about their boyfriend/girlfriend? And then to justify your existence, not as an individual, but by how happy you make your respective
UEA Syndrome: Convincing yourself that you fancy someone who, anywhere else, would be considered to be a minger extraordinaire
you to climb on
that.
t might have crossed your mind by now that this bitter rant is the result of a much-broken heart, that I am a maligned cynic whose opinion of love is warped beyond all human possibility. And you might be right. I do admit that there are certain fringe benefits to going out with someone. There is the nice feeling of waking up next to a person in
I
the morning. But this is immediately cancelled out by morning breath and the fact that you now have pneumonia from losing most of the duvet for the majority of the night's festivities. You also have someone to fall asleep on, on a Sunday afternoon. But that can be immediately countered by the fact that all your limbs slowly develop pins and needles so that you resemble paraplegic when you wake up. That all these pluses revolve around sleep is not incidental considering going out with someone is so very boring. The aforementioned go a long way in summing up why people are putting off getting locked into holy matrimony until around the time when the Jaws of gravity start to take their toll on the human system. Breasts drop. Stomachs sag and the very fragile nature of humanity causes people to desperately cling to the nearest soul in the vicinity in an attempt to stop the feeling that you are about to fall off the edge of the world. Very sad, but, in the end, very true. There are very few people who have the strength of mind to battle on and remain single purely because they like it that way and not because of some imaginary biological clock. Instead society (it being the easiest thing to blame) and those bloody sanctimonious couples cast them in new roles. Women are dismissed as being "past it" and "left on the shelf" filling the role of spinster quite ably, while men either fill the Peter Stringfellow mould (sad, perma-tanned and deeply unattractive) or are suspected of being gay. So, in the meantime, we have to suffer Hallmark Day on February 14 where the question "what are you doing?" is batted around without even the slightest hint of irony. And while those around you are desperately trying to find someone who can give them a Forever Friends bunny rabbit or a Purple Ronnie card about how nice their arse is (taste being something that should really be taught at birth), adopt the smugness that has saturated the once-fun personalities of even your best friends . You aren't an alcoholic (hopefully). You aren't a crack whore (ditto) . You are not a leper. Three words. You . Are. Single. Be happy. The alternative is much worse.
Monday
"Play" Stwdent Night 2-4-1 long cocktails + Heineken Free entry Bpm-1 am PLUS exciting new offers every week! 23 Bank Plain Norwich NR2 4SF â&#x20AC;˘ 01603 619961 ponana@norwich17.fsnet.co.uk
18 FEATURES
www .concrete-online.co .uk
Concrete
W EDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
14, 2001
Sex has always been present at the cutting edge of technology, and the internet is no exception. Busty Bitch grabbed her keyboard, logged on to the chat rooms, and hitched a ride on the information superhighway. love sex. I don't go out looking for it and I don't have sex for the sake of it, but I do miss having something harder to cudd le up to at night than my teddy bear hot water bottle. So, with Valentine 's Day looming on the horizon like a bloody big ticking clock, forcing you to befriend sexually inadequate retards in the hope of receiving at least one card, I have found myself amongst the hoards of singletons (apologies for the Bridge! Jones-ism) facing V-day on my own with only my vibrator for company. But there is another way. Whilst my fellow students threw tequillas down their throat and gyrated to the
inevitable outcome of an LCR encounter. Two acts emerged from my attempts at cyberlovin': firstly, if you like to take it slow and really draw out your pleasure then interne! sex is great. In fact , whilst my cyber-stud (UKMale1000) was composing a reply to one of my racier suggestions I had time to make a quick cuppa. Secondly, it IS advisable to drink at least half a bottle of vodka beforehand, otherwise you're likely to get totally freaked out by the fact that there's someone sitting at home, frantically trying to construct legible sentences whilst pumping their joysticks at the thought of you carrying out your most debauched fantasies. How If there is a surer romantic. 'sensual ' beats of Britney ' ' and S Club at the LCR in As a way of finding a likething than Christina the hope of securing an minded (ie. dirty-minded) Aguilera after a couple individual , sex chat rooms hour of drunken thrusting, I was cannot fail. After all, you would of Pina Coladas it's a practising the art of one have to be a total social reject to chat room handed typing. Yes, that's get turned down by some spotty the socially acceptable sixteen year old in thei r bedroom at their parents' house. If ever there is a way of saying I was indulging in the pastime of many a frustrated SYS kid and pleasuring myself surer thing than Christina Aguilera after a couple whilst typing sordid messages to a similarly sordid of Pina Coladas it's a chat room . Not only is it easier to score on the interne! than at your local stranger over the interne!. All in the name of Ritzy's, but there is the added bonus that you don't research, of co urse. have to engage in the usual exchange of fake Unlike others I cou ld mention - and if you 're pleasantries that are associated with one night read ing this on the Concrete website at two in the stands. Why is it that two people meeting and morning in the IT centre, I mean you - I have never felt the need to sit at the computer, fingers snaking having a night of uninhibited nookie feel the need to pretend that they actually care about each their way slowly southwards in order to get myself other? Most of the time the conversation won 't going, but as this is the Valentine's issue it's only fair to explore all avenues in the pursuit of lurve .. . have got past "Hi, what's your name? Sorry, can't even if it is the kind of love that lasts for about two hear you. Fancy com ing to mine for a drink?" let alone to the stage of learning each others' minutes and is deeply unsatisfying . Rather like the
I
surname so why pretend that it's anything except a mutual desire to get jiggy with it? That's the beauty of copulati ng via the world wide web. I mean , you 're not going to visit a web-site selling itself as "hardcore sex chat" for a conversation about governmental policies, unless you harbour a disturbing fantasy involving Tony Blair, a hand whisk and a jar of pickled gherkins. Or is that just me? Anyway, the fact is that if you don't mind that the person describing themselves as "Robbie Williams lookal ike with a 10" cock" could very well be that annoying bloke from your seminar group, or your brother, and phrases like "I want to stick my dick in between your tits and dump my load all over your face" turn you on then read on before you put those fingers to work ...
the law to talk (should that be type?) dirty to a bunch of 12 year old American school girls anyway. Being a cyber virgin, I simply typed in "sex chat" to a search engine to find a suitable site. There were a lot of them. You can choose from "hardcore sex chat" (my favoured option), "gay chat" or even "larger ladeez talk dirty", whatever your bag , there's sure to be some sick site on the web to cater for it. Once you have logged on to the site you will be asked to supply a name for yourself. These are the best way to ensure that you attract the right kind of pervert - sorry person to chat to. I found that 'BustyBitch' pushed the right buttons, but anything goes, so use your imagination. In fact, your imagination is going to be very useful as, unless you 're linked up to a webcam you are going to have to imagine how hard (or wet) you're irstly, make sure you're alone. Not sat in the making your on-line lethario. By now you should be Concrete office surrounded by sniggering inundated with requests ranging from "Hi , I'm boys. You might feel a bit pathetic sitting in feeling horny - r u?" to "Hey bustybitch , wanna front of the screen in the dark on your own, but it's suck on my big hard dick - I'm hot for you". better than facing questions like "Do you really Charming. Now comes the, ahem, hard bit. Cast have 38E breasts?" from the person sat next to your mind back to when you first stole a porn mag you. And , just for the record, it was only a slight from the newsagent only to find that it was a exaggeration ... collection of erotic fiction (yes, I agree that if it The point is that you may not feel entirely doesn't have pictures it's not porn) . comfortable typing phrases along the lines of "I You may have laughed at phrases like 'he plunged want to feel your throbbing cock plunging into my his man phallus into her dripping hole', but you'll creamy pussy" (I'm blushing even now) if be glad of them now. surrounded by prying eyes, and if it does get You won 't get very far if all you type-in is the steamy then you won 't have to keep making trips noises you make during sex. "Ooooooh , yeah , to the toilet to relieve yourself to spare your yeah, mmmmm that's really l-ing good" may be all friends' blushes. Secondly, try to make sure that you need to say to get your loved one going, but your chosen chat room is actually meant for saucy without any actual physical contact it's not quite chat - not the Britney Spears fan site as one of my enough, is it? You 're going to have to enter the more frustrated friends tried . it's probably against cnnge-worthy ·i \ Hard core Chat - Microsoft Internet Explorer B -1o[~1 realm of descnb1ng 1file fSIIr 108 Fl'<l"" :roo~ J:l!lp • .. • what you 'd like to -? • '. · . • ~ R•fr.sh W Hom< ~ ~ Fovoril!ls l:il -4 ... ,.61 n·~t '•I do and how good Sack Stop S<atd'! History •...,,.1 r .,
F
l
Ill!
* •
3
j A!Jdre.ss k!lwo.....: . buet;-bitche -chatrocm . com
~Go ~· it'll make them feel.
rc~~~~~7rr--------------------------------------------, ltmayseemfake e p me ge t o ·I <ulr--nalelOOO> u? · I and weird, but that's because it is. <bustybitch> i m doinJ Nertime at the office, flicking • But at least you mysAlf off under the des k. my b0ss is o n ly two feet away, can turn your but he dcesn · t kn•_,w wha r i 'm <..l·~ing. dv yvu 1 ike teiny
J•
Wct"~hed.
24HR BOX OFFICE 0'1603 22'1900 www.stercentury.corn
<uJr.rnale l OOO> how wet 1 u <ukm'll•"l000> i d·~ like tPill Wilt 'hed <bustybitch> i'm get i ng wetter talking to you. a1e you hard? would yc.n likP me I ,, get you hard? <ukmalelOOO> im gettin hard my cock is out and im st1vkin il <bustybitch> hc·w big are you? i d love to suck your hard c<..ck, w·~uld yvu like Lhat? I war. t) lick y ·•ul shaf and suck you until you cC'me all over my big tits . . . <uY~lelOOO> mmmmm im 8 inches <uJr~lelOOO> i would love to lick your we t pussy <bustybitch> i d lnve tha tov, do you like usinrJ oys? <u Jr.rnalelOOO> mmmm yes <llkffi'!l "' 1 000> wh;,t' 11 ( fnt'?
g! 1~
~-
r-r
~~Comp!!e
computer off without it pressing its joystick into your back whilst you're asleep, and if there's a wet patch , you can wipe it off. 1 Happy wanking.
I
I
' • You can em ail Busty Bitch at .::::Jl Busty_b2001@ - J hotmail.com
..
..,
I
FEATURES 17
www.concrete-online.co.uk
Concrete WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2001
Saturday • n1 ht fever Mid-February provides the perfect opportunity to steal away with a loved one for a romantic weekend. Or perhaps just a dirty one. Nicola Mallett checks out the options ...
60 Second City
Valencia OK, so where is it?
it's in Spain, of course. If you want a bit more detail, then it's on the coast facing Majorca and the Balearics (although they are a little far out to see) . And why might I not have heard of it? Although it is Spain's third biggest city it's just not paticularty orientated towards tourism. So, it ain't your typical holiday destination. Ah, but is that because there isn't much to do there? Pu1 it this way, if you're looking for the next Ibiza then don't bother, bu1 there actually are other things to do. Plenty, in fact. Like what exactly?
or students, it's not often we get an excuse to fritter away the few pennies we have on a weekend away with their loved one - but lets face it Valentine's Day is the best excuse we can hope for. So if you and your lover are feeling a bit flush and fancy a weekend away from the prying eyes of your nosy flatmates, then read on for the low down on the best weekends of raunch available in the UK.
F
Norfolk If all you fancy is a weekend holed up in a plush hotel then staying in good old Norwich cuts out the cost of rail fares. Many of the more exclusive hotels in Norwich boast a Sunday night saver, almost cutting the standard high prices in half. Dunston Hall Hotel - There is no denying it, we have all driven past this four-star fortress." envious of all those who have stayed there but now here is your chance. With a whole host of leisure facilities including an 18-hole golf course you could pretend that you're miles from UEA. Bed & full breakfast £55 per person, per night, but only £29 on Sundays - what a bargain! To book call Superbreaks on 01904 679999 (ref.5411) Or perhaps you fancy a weekend on the coast. Great Yarmouth might not sound all that romantic, but the sound of the sea can work wonders on your sex life, and if you close your eyes you can probably imagine you're in the Caribbean . The Royal Hotel - This is arguably the grandest hotel in the centre of this seaside resort. Prices are £56 per room including breakfast. Tel 01493 844215. Regency Dolphin Hotel - Slightly cheaper, but still quite nice, this popular hotel is situated only a few minutes walk from those sandy beaches and moonlit strolls. £40 per person, per night, Call including breakfast and dinner. Superbreaks on 01904 679999 (ref.5801)
London London isn't cheap but it can be relatively affordable, as long as you plan on spending more time in the hotel than seeing the sights. Return train fares cost between £15 and £27 with a Young Persons Railcard , with the cheapest tickets available when you book in advance. Days Inn Waterloo - This three star hotel is reasonably priced and well situated, close to Waterloo station and only 200 yards from the nearest tube station . Bed & continental breakfast - £29.50 per person, per night.
(ref:192) The Kensington Hotel - If you fancy somewhere a bit posh then this four star hotel is the one for you. With free health club and spa, there really will be no need for you to leave the hotel. Bed & continental breakfast - £49.50 per person, per night. (ref:148) Both these hotels can be booked through Superbreaks Tel. 01904 679999
Brighton Brighton is the capital town of dirty weekends, in the 1770s George IV started visiting the town with his mistress and the reputation has stuck ever since. However, Brighton also boasts an abundance of shops, restaurants and of course the Palace Pier. So, if you fancy impressing your partner, take them to this beachside resort, which is also in easy reach of London. Adelaide Hotel - if you fancy a bit of posh then this top-notch guesthouse is in the fancier part of town. Rooms start at £60 including breakfast. Tel 01273 205286 Cornerways Hotel - for those of you who can't afford the Ritz then this inexpensive B&B might be more to your tastes, it is also only a couple of minutes walk to the train station . Rooms are £30 per night including breakfast. Tel 01273 731882
Edinburgh If you want to romance your lover with a bit of Scottish charm then a visit to the capital could be just the thing for you . Coupled with the beauty of the Scottish scenery, Edinburgh also boasts an abundance of attractions, including the National Museum of Scotland and the Palace of Holyroodhouse as well as the usual pubs, restaurants and shops. Ibis Hotel - A member of the French economy hotel chain , Ibis offers smart and inexpensive rooms in the old part of the town . Rooms £55 per night. Tel 0131 2407000 Frederick House Hotel - For those with a bit more cash to spare, this smart and well priced hotel is in a superb location in the new town . £75 per room including breakfast. Tel 0131 2261999
Nottingham Okay perhaps you don't envisage Nottingham as the romance capital of the country, but if you do plan on stepping outside of you r hotel then Nottingham has a lot to offer in the way of shops, pubs and restaurants as well as the renowned Sherwood Forest and other
Cotswold Hotel - Unsurprisingly the cheapest hotels are located on the outskirts of the city. This comfortable and cheery hotel is about a mile north of the city. £48 per room including breakfast. Tel 0115 9551070. Rutland Square Hotel - If you're not counting your pennies then this modern hotel is perfect for your romantic weekend away. Situated right next to the castle, nothing could be more romantic. Rooms cost £90 per night including breakfast. Tel 0115 9411114.
Bath If you fancy a bit of Roman romance during your weekend away then visit Bath and check out the hot springs that it is renowned for. The city is full of museums, and the Roman Baths are a must see if you can force yourselves to leave the hotel. Henrietta Hotel - This three star hotel is just a short walk to the city centre but book early because it fills up fast. Rooms cost about £45 per night plus breakfast. Tel 01225 447779. Cranleigh - Situated above the city with fine views from most rooms, prices in this hotel start at £65 per night plus breakfast. Tel 01225 310197.
For the more cultured there are many museums with both historical information, art and sculpture depending what you are looking for. Spain's repu1alion for its Catholicism can also be found in the many amazing churches, and there are ancient river beds that have been made into parkland and sports facilities throughou1 the city. Outside the centre, accessible by bus, there are long beaches, and because it's on the Meditenanean, the sea is deliciously warm. Indeed, in the summer many Valencians move out to the beach suburbs, so there are lots of apartments available at reasonable prices. Spaniards are notorious for having lavish festivals, surely Valencia has one?
Why, you are right my friend. In March, the Festival of the Rres is the most spectacular, where huge models of Catholic icons, traditional symbols etc are made out of flowers, paraded through the steels and then burned at night. This is accompanied by spectacular fireworks that will completely blow your mind, or at least make you deaf for a while.
OK, I think I'm convinced, but is there anything else I should know? This is a very Spanish city, and although large shops and restaurants will speak English, most of the locals don't, so knowing a little Spanish (where is the toilet, what time do the bars open, sausage, egg and chips etc) would be helpful. The nightlife is good also, with clubs staying open until morning, due to the afternoon siestas and restaurants not getting busy until 1Opm.
Lake District
So how much will flights be? If it's lakes and mountains that stir your loins To go in March or June, if booked now, flights with Iberia then the Lake District is the place to go with are around £150 plus tax, but if booked later they can your loved one. Everywhere in the Lake District rise to about £200-230 at most. is connected by bus so you can explore the wilderness without having to hire a car. And what about places to stay? Windermere is the gateway to the Lakes, and There are hundreds of hotels to stay in the city, varying in most of the guesthouses built in Victorian times price and er, hygiene standards. If you haven't got a lot of are still standing. money, and let's be honest, most students don't, the YHA can help ou1. There are also camp sites that are really good value. Montclare House - This guesthouse is about the cheapest that B&B's get, so if you 've spent all your money on the train fare then r-T-----------------------.~ Union House, UEA, Norwich this is probably your best bet. Rooms cost £22.50 per person per night plus breakfast Established over 15 years and £70 for 2 nights. Tel 015394 42723. Above The Bay - Maybe you prefer the idea of a lakeside view; this hotel is a bit more costly, but perhaps a bit more romantic. Rooms from £22.50 per person , per night Your local Agent for including breakfast. Tel 01539 488658. Student and Youth Travel Ambleside, five miles northwest of Windermere, is at the heart of the southern lake region and a haven for those keen on walking hand in hand with their lover in the romantic countryside. Two Cambridge Villas - This small guesthouse is close to the town centre and it is a bit kinder to the pocket than most others in this region . Rooms cost £32 per night including breakfast. Tel 015394 32142.
Mall.fr
t.30et11 till 4pm • Teklphone Ellq~~~t~es9am- 5:1Sj)ln
OPEN ALL YEAR • NOR
CH 503103
4_
18 FEATURES
www .concrete-on line.co.uk
Hea dscratch er 0 01
Which ce lebrity c ouple anno unc ed t hat t hey w ould split recentl y?
~~A;):;To;m=a=nd=N;:i=co=le==~IIB) Daphne and Celeste
0
._IC..;..)_M_e_la_n_d_K_im _ _ _...JIID) Shaggy and Scooby How ma ny UK number one hit s has Madonna had?
Q2) Madonna
Horoscopes .----Who re_leased---,th e c lassic Blue Album I A) Joan Baez
I B"')-: " Jon..,..i7M"""itc-:h-e.,.. ll - - - - ,
IC) Nick Drake
Il D) Carol King
r:l
In t he rainforest s of wh ich conti ne nt wo ul d yo u fi nd a ca py bara?
~~A=)=A=si=a=====~II B) North America L.:IC:..:.).:...A:.::u.:... st_:ra:....li:a__ _ __lii D) Sou th America
~~A~);Ni=ne========~l ~~B~):S;e=ve=n========::::
Wh o was th e Re publican cand idate who ran aga inst Bill Clint on in th e 1 996 US President ia l El ec ti ons?
._le"'-)_Te_n_ _ _ ___.l ._ID"')-_ Si_ x _ _ _ ___.
lA)Bob Dole
Wh at is a spindl e used fo r?
~~A;:)::;Se=w=in=g====::::l ~~B;:)::;C=oo=k=in=g= = = = !
Q7) Capyb ara
IlB) Dan Ouayle
L.:IC:..:.)_N:.:: ew _t:....G :....i.ng ...;::..r:.:: ich____--lii D) Alan Greenspan
._lc..;..)_G_a_rd_en_in~g~_ __...JILID~)_P_al_ · n_tin~g----~
For w hic h film d id Glenda Jackson win her first Academy Award in 1970? In 141 5 wh ich king led th e Eng li s h t o vi c t ory at th e battl e of Ag inco urt? IAl Edward 11 I C) Henry IV
IlB)Edward I I ~~D; ) ::He=n= ry=v======~
::IA=)=E=/iz=a=be=lh=R===~II B) le) A Touch of Class
Q8) Bil l
~~A=):::C:::oc=o=C=h:::a::ne::l==::::::11 B) Christian Lacroix
'"IA7)-::D-on--=D--: el...,il.,-lo---...,II B) Phillip Roth ICJ Micheal Ondaatje
Three Sisters
IlD) Women in Love
W hich designer inspired a musical written in 1969 by Alan Jay Lerner and Andre Prev in?
[;:;'\ Who wrote The English Patient?
\V
IlD) Angela Carter
L.:IC.:....)...::. C_hr....:is....,tia:....n_D :....i.or :..._ ___JII D) Jean Muir Q9) Glenda
v (01 ·a (6 ·v (8 ·a (L ·s (g ·J (c:; 'a (17 'V(£ 'V((: 'V (1 :SJ<lMSUV
The recent announcement that Eminen has asked Elton John to perform with him at this month's Gram my Awards has been met with a mixed reception. We asked you what you thought about the duet and whether criticisms of sexism and homophobia are justified. Jeremy Jacobs (SOC 1)
Eminem's message is bunk but, then again , so is Elton John's music. John Mlude
I think th ey'll make a lovely couple cos they are both twats . Anon (MGT 1)
His lyrics are homophobic and misogynistic but most people are cl ever enough to see past th is . When people make
•
CITROEN AX Splash , G-reg, 1 litre engine - cheap tax, MOT until August 2001, Tax until May 200 1. £550 ono. 01603 662969 for detail s. PC 166mmx CPU , 32 megabyte memory , 1.7gigabyte hard drive, internal 56k modem , CD, sound, network card , 14" moni tor, Windows98 and Office 97. Installed wi th UEA applications and ready to go on UEA network. £200 o.n.o. greg.brown@ uea.ac.uk, 01603 485471 and 07740 645432 2 EUROSTAR TICKETS. Ch eap, £50 ono. London to Paris on Feb 15. Returnin g Paris to London, Feb 2 1. Si mone on 0 1603 503175. BOOKS . An alysis, P.E. Kopp, £5; Elementary linear algebra, Anton , £20 . Ph one Ki rsti e on 07751251341 , or e-mail k.donaldson @uea.ac. uk PORTABLE BROTHER LW700i word proces sor. As new .
14, 200 1
.
Aries As you well know by now you are not exact ly shy and retiring when it comes to matters of a sexual nature. So it isn't much of a surprise that you now have a reputat ion for being a bit of a prost itute/rent boy. Th ings are set to get worse t his fortnight wit ll you getting far more than your share of unwanted advances ... wh ich is what you get fo r being a sl ut so you can't exactly comp lain can you? ~~
'-£1J IIII""W'"
Taurus You are goi ng to have to stop taki ng people for granted. • Not only wi ll t his mean t hat you are really getting some ~ peoples · backs up but it also explains why no one likes you. This fortnight you will be given the chance to change the way people perceive you so don't waste it as it'll be the only chance you have for a long while.
I
Gemini With most aspects of your life verging on hysteri cal, this fortn1ght gives yo u the opportunity to take a step back and reflect. Cut loose all matters which are causing you frustrat ' .ion and unhappiness, especially regarding sex. and you are guaranteed a brighter future. Wh ile you are usually the type to dis· miss the whole Va lent ine's th ing as wanky. this might be the time to cast off you cynicism and embrace a bit of new love in your life .
Cancer As th ings start to look up you can be forgiven for indulging ~ ina little bit of frivo lity, especially wit h people you wouldn't usually give the time of day. New relationships are likely to take their hold only if you take the lead. There is one person who is wa iting for you to make the first move and, despite play ing dumb. you know exactly who that person is ... so stop being so lame and try expressing yourself.
.. Leo
Virgo
such a big deal about it they are not only giving him what he needs: publicity, but they are also showing that they have no faith in oth er people and the ir ability to make their own minds up. I th ink the duet's a crap idea but only because they're such awful musicians.
he's not homophobic at all and is just as insecure as everyone else. And I think they should duet together. Just imagine Don 't Go Breaking My Heart.
Yasmine Datnow (WAM 3)
Gemma O 'Donnell (EAS 2)
Maybe Eminem is a closet homosexual and this duet might serve as a prequel for the news of his real sexuality - it's just a thought!
Eminem's lyrics can not be taken seriously. Some of the lyrics are homophobic , but maybe this is to hide his in ner feelings. Aaron Parker (MGT 1)
d
Things are likely to take a sordid turn in t he next t wo weeks as yo u get in t ouc h wi th yo ur dirtier side. lt 's a good th ing you don't put much heed w it h t he purer si de of your affairs bec au se let' s face it that 'd be just a tad boring wouldn't it ? Try to pu sh all the boundaries of t ast e and decency and t ry som ething or someone new. Life is for the t aking and if you don't go out and seize it with bot h hands you're going to get left behind .
Libra
Gemma Monk (EAS 3)
Talk about mountain out of a molehill. Jon (CHE 3)
I think Eminem is just a scapegoat for inadequate parents' insecurities. If you really listen to his lyrics and you'll find that
Classifieds FOR SALE
W EDNESDAY, F EB RUARY
This fortnight will bring with it a much-needed change of scenery. not only will this get you away from the incest riddled streets of Norwich but it will also mean that you are surrounded by a far better looking class of people. And let's face it you need it, especially as UEA Syndrome has meant that you are doing far too much settling and not enough deserving. Go fort h and mix with the pretty people.
Studen speak I think they'll make a lovely couple.
Concrete
Excellent fo r essays, spreadsheets. graphs, graphic art etc. Incl udes new inkjet ca rtridge and operating manual. £100ono. l.swankie@uea.ac. uk or 0 1603 473185. GUITAR BC Rich lronbird . £250. Contact Luke on 01603 458987 for details. MOBILE PHONE , no contract, no monthly bills, only £35 . Contact Lee Seaman on 01603 44811 5 or for Lee. Seaman @uea .ac. uk details.
WANTED TV to rent for 2 months only. A
cheap one wan tedl Please email w0074217@ uea.ac. uk 1 PERSON to move into 8 bedroom house from end June 2001 . 01603 76 1965 for details. ART SOCIETY Do you paint? Do you draw? Do you want to? We offer: an artistic/creative atmosclasses , phe re/e nvironment , exhibition space , affordable
Eminem's lyrics are meant to shock and th at's wht they do - he's taking the piss . If he does the duet, he's making himself the joke. Georgina Smith (SOC 3) Poor old Elton John ! Julie (EAS 3)
Advertise anything - even yourself - for free. Simply write up to
25 words for you r ad and pop it in the Concrete box in The Hive,
Th at "special someone " does exist , and you know exactly who it is. Th e troubl e is you are letting all those petty insecurities rul e your heart. Untoward advances by others are likely to pu sh you ever c loser t o revealing how you rea ll y feel .. . so go for it . What have yo u got t o lose? it 's not as if yo u've got anyth ing to lose. So just quit your goddamn w hining and put yoursel f out t here.
Scorpio Now is the t ime t o di scover you r inner bi t ch. Break some .~, hearts and screw everyone . And the key to all of t his? ,.:~ Feel nothing. There's not hing you need more. especially '• ·' in the next week or so, t han a bit of reck less abandonment. And any fears about pissing people off? Forget them! Those you use will be so surprised by your hard new image that they' ll be gagging for more.
!
or email it to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk Terms and conditions apply.
Not ava ilable to private traders or businesses materials. Please join! Contact Ali e-mail a. alsam @uea.ac. uk MODELS WANTED for fas hion shoot. Boys and girls, no experience neces sary. Call Jo on 01603 250558. SILVER SERVICE waiters/wa itreess es. £5/hour. Email j .locke @uea.ac. uk WOULD ANYONE interested in playing GO/WEI 01 , please contact Dr R Davey 0 1603 811 39 4 PIANO TUITION required in Norwich area. Must have own piano, will ing to pay reasonabl e rates. Call Aaron on 0 1603 407607. DRUMMER to join 2 guitari sts and 1 bassist. Wide ranging influences and ability for rock/punk jazz . Contact luke_hayward @hotmail.com .
SERVICES SPANISH LESSONS (grammar,
vocab ulary, conversation , translation). Native Speaker willing to teach : al l levels/aims. con tact
igomez_olsen@ hotmail.com DO YOU WANT to practice or learn Spanish? Span ish nati ve will teach you different levels, conversation, grammar, vocab ulary. Only £4 per hour. 07799726770, e- mail g.sanchea@ uea.ac. uk NEED HELP With Your English? English tutor available to help improve you r grammar, conve rsation skills, essay writin g and much more. Improvin g yo ur En glish can be fu n! Contact Emma on 079411 96829 or kittyfluff @btintern et.com
PERSONAL ANOREXIA I BULIMIA sufferers wanted for confidential chat for article on eating disorders. Male or femal e. Anonymity assured . Call Jo on 01603 593466. BISEXUAL BLONDE woman (2 1) seeks compa ny for drink, dancing and maybe more! Pl ease reply to Concrete Box 101 . Discretion assured .
Sagittarius "---.. ~ '
You may be able to foo l people into thinking that you are entirely infal lible, but those who you are trying t o convince really don't bel ieve a wo rd of it . Honesty. That's the way to go. Lay your cards on the table this fortnight and you'll be very impressed with the re sults. The know ledge that you have a chink in your armour is actually quite an appealing one. For once you might actually come across CIS human .
Capricorn
a"·
The return of someone from your dark and distant past will th row al l areas of your life into confusion this fort · night. lt will mean having to complete ly reassess you r loyal t ies to those around yo u as temptation strikes at all times. While this may seem like a large task it will real ly pay dividends. allow ing you t he opport unit y to cast off dead wood.
Aquarius
e-!_
Being cheated on is never the best feeling in t he wo rld, bu t revelat ions t hat w il l come to t he fore th is fortnight . . \ are not going to make t he realisatio n any more palat abl e. Yo u w ill find that st ay ing ca lm and not flyi ng off t he handle is t he best course of ac ti on. Silence is fa r scari er anyway . ~\'!
Pisces
Your loy alt ies are going to be t ested t o their li mits this ~.~ fo rtnight as different part ies toy fo r your att enti ons. You r~ are going t o have to t ake you r tim e in c hoosing ... and if yo u think yo u are going t o be abl e to put it off , then think again. The choice is yo urs and yo u ne_e9 to make it... now.
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
.. Graduate Courses I is for Interpreter This career requires excellent English skills, fluency in at least 2 or 3 foreign languages, a good memory, knowledge of current affairs, foreign cultures and politics. If this doesn't sound like a tall order to you, you're probably a language student and a good candidate for a postgraduate course in interpreting and translation. What courses are there? Here are two good examples of postgraduate courses that provide necessary qualifications for a career in professional interpreting: University of Bath's MA in Interpreting and Translating and University of Salford's MA in Translating and Interpreting. What is involved in each course? The University of Bath's course is designed for students with English as their mother tongue and working from two other languages from French , German , Italian, Russian and Spanish . Non-English mother tongues can use English and one other from those listed , or Chinese or Japanese. The MA is assessed on a 15,000 word dissertation. The University of Salford's course is intended for students whose working languages include English and either French, German, Italian, Greek or Spanish . Consecutive and simultaneous interpreting is taught and specialist background units are provided. There is also a 15,000 word dissertation for this course. Students on either course can earn diplomas if they do not wish to fully complete the qualification of MA. How do I get on a course? A minimum of 2:1 in the appropriate language degree is required and relevant experience is helpful, although not mandatory. The maximum number of places on the University of Bath's course is 60; they normally receive twice this many applicants. Salford s~ates that it uses written tests and references as selection methods. How long do the courses take? Both courses are only available full-time over a period of 9 months, commencing in September. Bath's closing date for applications is July; Salford is more flexible. How much do they cost? The University of Bath's fees are £2, 610 for EU students, £6, 750 for non-EU students. The University of Salford charges £2, 675 for EU students and £6, 600 for all others. What prospects are there after the courses? Bath cites UN specialised agencies i ~ Geneva, French Foreign Ministry, GdHQ and EU Institutions amongst organisations entered by past students. There is also a trend towards freelance work. Students keep in regular touch with major employers as there is a work placement as part of the course. Salford also features units with regular input from outside professionals. lt states that employers are generally national translation companies, including Alcatel France. The level of demand for this type of qualification is very high amongst professional interpreting organisations. The range of starting salaries is about £30,000, although in UK Civil Service this is lower at about £17,000.
information~
Where can I get more The University of Bath can be contacted on 01225 826180 or by email at ml-madiploma@bath.ac.uk. The University of Sa)ford can be reached at a.riddell@salford .ac.uk or by phone on 0161 745 5990. You may also want to consult the website for the industry's professional body, the Institute of Linguists: www.iol.org.uk.
Katherine Rowbotham
FEATURES 19
www.concrete-online.co.uk
14, 2001
Campus Comment
Village Vitriol Ensuite showers seem to be the only perk at the Village. Amy Harris elaborates ... Well , some may say that living in the Village is the height of luxury, with your own shower and loo, only six or eight to a flat and all that, but for those of you who don't live there, or used to and
of food . Since Alan 'left' with hi9' ice cream van and contraband cigarettes (very much needed due to the financial status of most students), villagers are
student necessity to go with the 17 cans of Baked Beans that you have in the cupboard. Then if you have been successful in your quest for food , Do you know how where is it supdifficult it is after a posed to go? Not in . night at the LCR having the fridge which has become a Vlflage people: angry
now have a romanticised nos- ' ' talgic view of it, then let me educate you ... The first matter of contention has got to be the walk to and to negotiate traffic health risk bacause of the from campus. Do you know how difficult it is after a night lights in your inebriated danger of food falling on you when you open the door, not at the LCR to stagger home in state? in the freezer where if the the dark having to negotiate traffic lights and barriers in - - - - - - - - - - - - - - • door actually manages to shut it's a miracle of science. your inebriated state? If not I faced with yet another 15 minute The international villagers are walk to either the Co-op, suggest that you try it, just to say Rockingham Road corner shop, also pissed off due to the fact that you conquered a feat more that few of the rooms throughout or the very often closed UFO. Ok, challenging than climbing Mount the Village have the promised so the Co-op isn't that bad , but Everest. lnternet access installed , which The next thing is the availability does it ever have any bread? A
leaves everyone with the choice of the dreaded walk to the 24 hour IT centre or a hefty installalion fee and bills. However, aside from all these things and, believe me, there are more that I could fit in here, I'm sure that in years to come, perhaps when I'm senile, I'll look back with some romanticised nostalgic view on the phenomenon known as The Village.
CONCRETE Get Involved! Would you like to be part of the country's most successful student newspaper?
Cut & Blovv Dry
We have opportunities for writers, photographers and illustrators, providing invaluable experience and great CV material.
Past writers have gone on to write and edit national newspapers and magazines
We are here, above the Chinese Medical Centre (the white door)
Contributor meetings take place every Monday at 1pm in Room 1.33 of Union House.
it's your paper so
get involved! THE INDEPENDENT
_J~qf~ 11 I
student Newspaper of th& Year: Runner-up
i
London Street
~
f
~i ' n ili.f
Student Newspaper <>1 tl'l$ Year
1be0uardtan
ibt_
i
,~
I ..., I
~
~
Q
f
.... Q
~~ ~
~
t
~
i
f fi
r n•
t
~
i
I l
Castle Meadow
fi
if "'
i
~
Bank Plain
.. 20 SPORT
www .concrete-online.co .uk
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, F EBRUA RY
14, 2001
Back in August it was thought that playoff winners would be t he Premiership whipping boys. Not any more. Norwich's hated enemy, Ipswich Town, have taken the top flight by storm . A/ex Thorpe plucked up the courage to venture into Suffolk ... ~
y ou
know that bit in The Great Escape when Sieve McQueen et al are decked out with German clothes and passports? That's how I felt as I searched for a neutrally coloured T-shirt to wear to Portman Road. Having not seen a Premiership game since Norwich's last (ever?) top-flight game back in 1995, I decided to take a trip behind enemy lines to see how the other half lives. The fact I was considering such a trip at all is evidence that I am not a die-hard Canaries faithful , but you can't live in Noriolk for eight years without picking up a thing or two. Ipswich Town 's return to the cream of English football has been nothing short of spectacular in a world where big is supposedly beautiful. In the past eight years only one team, Leicester City, has survived longer than a year having been promoted through th e playoffs. Almost inevitably, Ipswich we re installed as hot favou rites for the drop the moment Martijn Reuser's thunderbolt shot sealed them promotion last May, with nobody giving them a chance of survival. Nobody outside Suffolk considered that Ipswich might have improved as a team since their humiliating 1994-95 season , during which they were annihilated 9-0 at Old Trafford. The periormances of the 'Tractor Boys' - a name that stuck after unimaginative chants by rival Premiership fans involving farming - have been astounding the footballing world. Even manager George Burley seems surprised: "We have 40 points
one). But that is not to put down the wonderiul football Ipswich play. While in Division One many teams set out just to close down footballing teams and rough them up, this negativity has not been displayed in the Premiership. This is why Ipswich capitulated so spectacularly in the Worthington Cup semi-final against Birmi ngham. To quote Jonesey from Dad's Army ,
'' Richard Wright: England's best young goalkeeper and Ipswich 's backbone
now and started the season as favourites to be relegated ," he says. "We said our target was to secure our place in the Premier League. At the moment I couldn't be happier at our position and what the players have produced." Despite their elevated position in the league, floating around the Champions League places , Burley has rarely wavered from the 'our priority is survival' catchphrase. n FA Cup winner with Ipswich in 1978, Burley took over the reigns of management when John Lyall left the club in their previous relegation season , and he moved the team into the playoffs in four of the five seasons Ipswich were in Division One. Their thrilling 4-2 victory over Barnsley at Wembley was a periect reward for the loyalty shown by the club to Burley, who has given his players a chance to mould into a unit - something many of the giants in the Premiership don't have. Working on the old idea of forming a team around a 'backbone', Burley has bought and nurtured wisely to create the basis of his team. From England's future goalkeeper Richard Wright and cavalier centre-half Titus Bramble - both home grown - to Irish international midfielder and captain Matt Holland and club record buy, striker Marcus Stewart, Ipswich's future looks rosy.
A
''
â&#x20AC;˘
Alun Armstrong added weight to Ipswich's strikeforce
We said our target was to secure our place in the Premier League. At the moment I couldn't be happier.
People are using Ipswich's high position to suggest that this season is the worst since the Premier League was founded, but it is interesting to note that champions elect Manchester United are only where they are because they allowed their team to evolve. Ipswich's two previous heydays also came in long-term management spells. They won the league in 1962 in the seventh year of Alf Ramsey's reign , and won the UEFA and FA Cups in the 13 years Bobby Robson was the helm. The fine tradition both East Anglian rivals have in unearthing starlets is an obvious boost when the side finally makes the leap to the Premiership. Not only do you get the basis of your team for next to nothing, but the big stars get sold for big bucks like Kieron Dyer, who went to Newcastle for ÂŁ6million in July 1999. So why can't any team who keeps their manager for years get top flight football? Look at Crewe for example, where Dario Gradi has been manger since 1983. The vital element in the equation is buoyancy.
If you go to Portman Road you simply cannot avoid the huge strength of spirit the club has. They have a feeling that there is simply nothing they can't do. Everything is looking up for Ipswich. Despite only having a capacity of just over 22,000 their 'Tractor Boy' fans create more than enough noise to match Old Trafford or St James' Park. They are in the process of adding two extensions of 3,000 seats each to their stands behind the goals and every game will still sell out. Behind the scenes, everything is all sparkling and shiny. Every member of staff understandably wears a smile. And why not? The election of David Sheepshanks to the position of chairman might possibly be the best decision the Ipswich board has ever made. A squeaky-clean example of what a modern chai rman should be, Sheepshanks has to be given as much credit in the meteoric rise of Ipswich Town . While Norwich City were (and still possibly are) floundering under the weak lead of majority shareholders, Sheepshanks steadied a ship that had showed signs of taking on water. The promotion means more to Ipswich than any beating they have dished out to City in recent years (yes, even the 5-0) because it guarantees financial stability. Even if Ipswich had come straight back down again , they would have been well off enough financially to bounce up at the first attempt. Just look at fellow Premiership highflyers Charlton. If Ipswich have a weak point that ruthless sides may use, it is probably the spirit and optimism that got the Blues into the position they are now. In the visit of Leeds to Portman Road , when Ipswich went 1-0 down they just attacked more. Defenders Bramble and Herman Hreidarsson charge off with the ball with gay abandon, occasionally leaving gaping holes. When wingbacks Gary Croft and Jamie Clapham push up the remaining three defenders revert almost to an old-fashioned 'WM' fo rmation (ask your grandparents to explain that
Sheepshanks is a squeaky-clean example of what a modern chairman should be.
"They don't like it up 'em." This fatal flaw was capitalised on by Leeds who reduced the number of creati ve midfielders in their team to play with Olivier Dacourt, David Batty and Lee Bowyer across the middle. This cynica l closing down paid off as the canny Yorkshiremen wen t back home with all th ree points. Bu t it still shows how far Ipswich have come that they are now aiming for a European place. Matt Holland sums it up by saying: "After the start we've had, I wo uld be very disappointed if we didn 't finish in the top 10. That would be a fantastic achievement for a cl ub of our size."
Concrete
W EDNESDAY, F EBRUARY
SPORT
www .concrete-online.co.uk
14, 2001
21
Paying the penalty A BRITISH ice hockey Super league match exploded into violence after it set the record for the number of penalties awarded. The tie between Nottingham and Sheffield resulted in eight players and both coaches being ejected from the action, and over 450 minutes of sinbin time being accrued. The referee, Moray Hanson, was forced to postpone the game for 45 minutes to let the sides cool down.
By ANDREAS CONSTANDINOS
FOLLOWING THEIR success in the previous fortnight, City could hardly improve - and two weak performances saw the Canaries drop back into the bottom half.
No joke
Having lost at St. Andrews, Norwich needed a late Chris Llewellyn goal to rescue a point in their drab home match with Crewe Alexandra. Prior to the game with Birmingham City, Worthington had warned City's travelling fans that they would not be seeing a quality game of football on the atrocious pitch that is St. Andrews - he was right. City started off brightly however, but quite out of the blue came the opening goal in the 9th minute when Stan Lazaridis got away from Steen Nedergaard. He crossed the ball into the box and Brian Hughes somewhat fortuitously diverted the ball into the Norwich net.
Solidly Playing solidly, City restricted the home side, still on a high after beating Ipswich in the Worthington Cup semi-finals, to only a few chances. Just as the Canarie> were getting more into the game, Lee Marshall handled the ball in the area and Birmingham' s centre-back Darren Pur>e made no mistake from the spot. Marshall was immediately substituted with Worthington fuming, "lt was like playing with only ten men." A no-nonsense customer during his playing days, Worthington has injected a fighting spirit into the Norwich squad, and this was apparent, when Chris Llewellyn stooped to head home Steen Nedergaard's cross, to make it 1-2 with 10 minutes to play. Unfortunately, this goal proved to be scant consolation for Worthington 's side. Norwich ·s preparation for their important home match with Crewe, could hardly be described as having been ideal. When you are already without several key players and your top scorer Iwan Roberts is suspended, the last thing was for captain Matt Jackson to request to be put on the transfer list. Crewe, on the other hand, were on a run of two straight wins, saw their top scorer Mark Rivers overcome a hamstring injury and in the clubs seven previous meetings with orwich, held the upper hand
RUGBY PLAYERS are famous for their pranks, but at one club in Scotland a stag night jape went horribly wrong. Lock forward Steven Rowley, 30, was stripped naked and 'assaulted internally with a pool cue'. The anal attack resulted in Rowley being taken to the hospital - where, to make matters worse, his fiancee worked - to receive extensive internal stitching. Club captain David Rankin resigned his post and received a season 's ban, but some people are calling for a full life ban.
with four victories to City's two. Following their controversial behaviour over the past week, both club captain Matt Jackson and Lee Marsh all received mixed receptions from the Carrow Road faithful , and this turned out to be the highlight of a pretty dire first 45 minutes. Both teams employed an attacking 4-3-3 formation, but lacked cohesion in the final third, which in turn lead to a real lack of clear-cut chances in an overall lacklustre first half. Once again Worthington opted to play Daryl Sutch at left back and Darren Kenton at right back, when most people would have expected it to be the other way round. This seemed to backfire six minutes into the second half, when Sutch was beaten by Mark Rivers down the Norwich left, the Crewe number ten then crossed the ball, it eventually found its way onto the right boot of Rodney Jack, and the St. Vincent international made no mistake from eight yard; for his third goal of the season.
Lucky Norwich were lucky not to concede a second four minutes later, and Worthington responded with a double substitution , bringing on Adrian Forbes and Adrian Coote in replace of Paul McVeigh and Zema Abbey. new never-say-die City's approach was once again there for all to see, as they snatched an equaliser, with barely three minutes to go. The Railwaymen, rock bottom of the Division last month, were on their way to their first clean sheet since November. when Chris Llcwellyn produced a moment of real quality that wouldn't have disgraced his countryman Ryan Giggs. The Welshman picked up the ball half way inside his own half. brilliantly spun away from David Wright and Neil Sorvel, raced into the box and drilled the ball into the bottom corner, sending the Norwich fans into raptures.
Come on, it's not that bad WITH THE current mishaps at Loftus Road, it seems somewhat appropriate that a top suicide prevention service from the USA is called the QPR Institute. Their website says they have saved the lives of 100,000 Americans in the last year. Expanding their business to the UK with the slogan 'QPR is growing fast and will be expanding rapidly', they might consider setting up shop in West London.
Ticket terrors A STUDY into football season ticket prices across Europe has revealed that Chelsea has the most expensive seat prices on the continent. Taking the most costly as their examples, it was noted that Chelsea's £3750 price tag was more than five times the price of a similar seat at the San Siro for AC Milan. Another interesting fact is that a terrace season ticket for Bayern Munich only costs £35. The difference? Champions League football is obviously so bad they can't sell the tickets cheap enough ! A repeat of the late comeback against Watford wa<, on the cards, and although the crowd were cheering them on, City were unable to grab an even later winner - which in truth would have been unfair on Crewe.
Patient After the game, Norwich boss Nigel Worthington admitted that it had not been a vintage performance and that the "crowd had to be patient", and that his team would "live to fight another day".
DIVISION ONE P W D l
GDPT
13.GIII'ham 30 8 12 10 -1 36 14.C Palace 30 9 9 12 -2 36 15.Norwlch
31 9
9 13 -10 36
16.P'mouth 31 7 14 10 -5 35 17 .Barnsley 31 8 8 15 -1132 NCFC TOP SCORERS
lwan Roberts Chns Llewellyn
12 5
RUNNING ON STRONG UEA ATHLETICS club excelled in the treacherously muddy conditions at Phillips Park in Manchester for the BUSA Cross Country Championships. The women's team improved on last year's position, coming in 13th, and the men's top scorers finished overall in 30th place. Chris Miller led strong performances from the men in 157th, competing against opposition from the best student runners in the country. Will Vincent (176th) and Andy Simpson (186th) showed their versatility by moving from the track into ankle deep mud. Simpson commented, "lt was the worst course I have ever run".
Michael Warner improved yet again this season to storm home in 190th out of a 250 strong field. In the women 's race Sue Cripsey came 35th with Michelle Margot running the race of her life to finish a superb 51st. Despite months of 1n1ury, Katherine Trehane performed courageously to finish 79th. Lena Kersten came in 103rd after her excellent achievement
of completing the 'Tough Guy 2001' the week before, entailing a 20km run and assault course. Emily Collins, fighting illness, finished in a solid 126th. Mindy Darrow tackled the steep hill well, despite losing her shoe to finish in a gutsy 148th out of over 200. The previous Wednesday the team showed commendable ability in the East Anglian Cross Country League race at RAF Honington. The women's team finished in 2nd and the men achieved their best performance of the season.
OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK
• • • • • •
20 Snooker tables 4 pool tables Satellite TV Video Games £250 jackpot machines Hot and cold food available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week • Licensed bar at low prices 1Oam-11 pm, 12·1 0.30pm Sun
ISTUDENT
MEMBERSHIP £1
S. Mary's Plain, Norwich Tel: 627478 Only 5 minutes from Norwich market
I
.11
22
SPORT
ww w.concrete-online.co.uk
Concrete
WE DNESDAY , F EBRUARY
1 4 , 2001
nesday, Feb 14 ootball v Derby v DMU (Bed) 2 v DMU (Bed) 3 vOx Brookes
Mens 1 v Mens 2 v Mens 3 v Womens 1 v Womens 2 v
Northampton Nott Trent 2 Nottingham 3 Staffs (Stoke) Cambridge 2
(h) (a) (a) (a)
(a) (h) (a) (a) (a)
Rugby Mens 1 Women
v DMU (Line) v Derby
(h) (a)
Badminton Mens
v DMU (Leic)
(h)
v DMU (Leic) v Nottingham
(h) (a)
v Loughboro'
(h)
~
v Staffs (Stoke) (a)
A
Lacrosse UEA
v Northampton
(h)
v Northampton v DMU (Leic)
(h) (h)
Netball UEA 1 UEA 2
Table Tennis v Nottingham
Mens
v Not! Trent
(h)
Saturday, Feb 17 ootball v Zenith Winds v Red Roofs
v v v 1v
Broadland 2 Bury St. Ed . Norwich C 4 Yarmouth 1
I Cup in Leeds
By CHRIS WEBBER
THIS TIME last year, UEA's men 's football first team was sent crashing out of the Norfolk Junior Cup semi-final due to Tom Pearson 's crucial penalty miss. They were winning, 2-0 in fact, a nd that penalty wou ld have put them three up and coa~t ing to the fin al. Pearson's miss allowed UEA's opponents that day, Norwich Union. to rally and they hit back with two of the ir own. send ing the game to extra time. The rest of the story doesn't make happy reading, but not lo be kept down. UEA arc back wit h. Club President Graeme Byme believes, a stronger team than ever. The team has had a face-lift in the last 12 month . The new fi rst year; have certai nl y made the ir presence fel l. The arrival o f fresh faces has no doubt been impo rtant , as ex perienced players ;uc h as Pearson have now departed.
Talent (h)
Tennis Mens
Football firsts want cup victorv.
(h) (a)
(h) (a) (h) (a) (h) (a)
New la lcnl includes And y Gazkill , Jad. Cullis, Terry Swann and Paul Jarrell, who has grabbed around 13 goals from cen tral midfield this season. Elsewhere on the pitch Captain Gavin Reed is a rock at cem rc -back. hut Byrne believes o ne of th e greates t fa ctors in their success lhi s season is the range of goa lscorers the team has. Whereas last season goals came predominantly from the str ikers. goals this season have come from all over. Byme himself has notched 23 so
far and leading the auack, Rich CroL ier has 15. The sem i-fina l thi s year sees the UEA firsts face Zenith Windows in anyt hin g but an easy ti e. UEA have been in good form throug hout this season's competition and , in an earlier round, knocked out Wouon, winners of last years Norfolk Junior Cup. Indeed , not only did they knock them ou t, they dominated the match. crushing I he ir opponents. llowcvcr, Zen ilh wi 11 be no pushover as they themse lves had a good resu ll recent! y in another com petiti on, when they beat fellow Norfolk Junior Cup semi-finalists. Halvergate United.
Confident Despi te th is, Byme is much more confident that this }Cars team will progress from thi s one-off semi-final game to contest the final. whic h is to be staged at the home of Norwich City Football Club, Carrow Road. The co mpetiti on is a grea t opportunity for the fina li sts to absorb the atmosphere of playing at a professional football league club ground. UEA men's first team has not on ly been playing well in the cup this season but can a b o boast impressive league fonn .
In the imer-uni ver;ity competition, UEA are doin g well and should anain promotion from their BUSA league. In addit ion to th is, the fi r,l team has no t been beaten in the ir loca l league all season. hopefully a good omen for the important up and comi ng cup c lash.
Important The single legged semi-fina l (no away goals or replays) has luckil y given UEA a home draw with the match sc hedu led for Saturday February 17 at the Colney Lane football pitch. Th e match wi ll kick off at 2pm and the team is desperate for as many people to get down to Colney Lane and support them as possible. where hopefu ll y there will be refreshments. including burgers from the bu rger van and drinks. With seemingly the right blend of youth and experience, all the team needs now is that support and after being knocked out at this stage last season. UEA want to book their place in thi s season's final in style. • Squad: W Alien, J Culli<., Joyncs. J C Trinder. G Recd. Swann, P Jarrcll, A Gatkill, Byrne. R CroLier, T Bamber, Skinnington.
G T G P
Surging forward: Men 's Firsts
(a)
nday, Feb 18 l.um••r•ran Football UEA
v Warwick
(a)
v Nch Union 1 v Nch Union 2
(a) (a)
-.-Korfball UEA 1 UEA2
i@i@iiMens
IN RELIABL V abysmal weather, with both sides not at their fittest , UEA succumbed to a dour 1·1 draw at home to Northampton.
dnesday, Feb 21 Golf UEA
vOx Brookes
(h)
v v v v
(a) (a) (a) (a)
UEA didn' t have a spectacular fi rst half b ut the draw was a fa ir resu lt as neither side managed to stri ng a pass together in the opening s tages of the mathc of W ed nesday , January 31, writes Sadiq U.m um. organisation to overcome periods of The UEA didn't have to wai t long pressure from Northampton. though before their first chances of At half time. captain Ben Lark in the half. Bruno, the UEA rigiH decided to change things around by midfielder. had his right fool drive go ing wi th fi ve in midfic ld. This from the edge of the area go j ust proved to be UEA's undoing as they wide of the post. fai led to sellle quickly anJ the Then in the tenth minute a well visitors scored with a lap in goal worked mow let Steve Morley chip early in the second half aided by over the keeper to lake UEA ahead. some comical defending. Patches This brought more oul of the player' on both sides a'> Leyton Hill After that. footba ll "as played wor~ed tirelessly alone up front . only in patches. hut il must also be making runs and troubling the said that the visiting team did not defence. But il was nol to he , as take the chances they created. Most chance after chance "as squ.mdcred. notably Nonhampton had the ball After the game Larkin said. "The deared off the line in the last minute team worked hard. We were not of the first half. match fit and needed the win hut at Special mention must be made for the end of the day a point is a poi nt. " the UEA defence, showing a lot of
Rugby Mens 1 Mens 2 Mens 3 Womens
Ang lia Poly Warwick 3 Nott Trent 3 Leicester
RESULTS
.
men Sue Cripsey, 1st; lare Edmonds, 4; Michelle Margot, 7; Kath erine Trehane, 11 ; Mindy Darrow, 16.
~----------------~--~
21-1 Northampton 21
.....
. . .. ,
Concrete
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
14, 2001
SPORT
www .concrete-online.co.uk
23
PIRATES IN SURREY STATE AFTER A long layoff over the Christmas holidays, the UEA Pirates strapped on their pads and started their season's second half with a trip to Guilford
HockeY. teams sufler guadrugle defeat By ALEX THORPE
The Mens Firsts hockey crashed to a 2-1 defeat at home to De Montfort Bedford having matched the Midlands visitors in a tight encounter. The defeat, which took place last Wednesday, paired with a 1-1 draw at DMU Leicester last week, leaves UEA with no chance of topping their group, and Bedford now top the group with only one loss. Both sides cancelled each other's DMU only having nine players, UEA attacking attempts out for the first twenty should have got something out of the game, minutes, before Bedford finally took the but the end result was an embarrassing 5-0 lead with 15 minute left in the first half. defeat. That was how the score remained for the The defeat leaves them with just an rest of the first half despite some close outside chance of progressing in the BUSA chances for both sides. Championships. UEA pulled it level early in the second Bedford are once again clear top, closely half. The home side won a penalty corner followed by Staffordshire Stoke. in the 40th minute, and Rupert Snelling Elsewhere, the Womens seconds are still converted to equalise at J.J. rooted at the bottom of their group after a The bitter blow came with just six 3-2 defeat at home to Bedford, the visitors minutes remaining when, after a succession scoring inside two minutes. of DMU short corners, UEA gave away a The Mens seconds goal drought penalty stroke. The away side converted continued over the fortnight with a 2-0 the flick, and took all three points despite defeat at Nottingham and a 4-0 loss at UEA perhaps being worth at least a draw. home to Loughborough 3rds. The Womens Firsts weren't quite as They haven't scored since November 15 luclcy against the same opponents. With last year.
On their first possession of the game, the Pirates offence fumbled the ball deep in their own territory, writes Bill Hudock. back John The turnover proved running costly when, four plays Couldson, and the Pirates later, the Stingers starting defence led by Jeremy halfback Andy Smythe ran Barberi, Ed Brown and Scott Villani. for an 18-yard touchdown. The Pirates answered Stifle Surrey's opening Couldson ran for just touchdown by mounting a 75-yard scoring drive, under 100 yards, his which included two key season high, and the passing plays from division leading Pirates quarterback Bill Hudock to defence continued to stifle wide receiver fan Burchett, opposing offences to keep and was capped off by the game within reach. John Couldson's threeDespite the loss, the default victory over Kent yard touchdown run. Falcons the following week Spotted means the Pirates still Near the end of the first have a chance to win their half, with the game tied, division and move on to Surrey's quarterback the playoffs. UEA is slated to collide Ashley Heath spotted a blown coverage by the with the three-time national Pirates' defence and found champion Hertfordshire wide receiver Luke Hurricanes, and finish the Thomas wide open for a season at Warwick 49-yard touchdown pass. Wolves. It was this reception If the Pirates win both that turned out to be the games, there is a chance winner as the Stingers that they will win their defence did not allow the division and advance to Pirates to score another the playoffs. point. But if they lose one their Two bright spots in the playoff hopes will be Pirates 12-6 foss were shattered.
I always knew I wanted a career in a fast paced, customer orientated environment that focussed heavily on sales, but I also wanted a career that gave me immediate responsibility and an insight into the entire business. I love thinking on my feet, doing 10 things at once and throughout my academic career and life have thrived in a competitive environment. Enterprise gave me the opportunity to use all those aspects of my personality and more. I started as a Management Trainee on their fast track scheme, just like everyone else in the company. I never thought I would find a company after graduating that would give me the opportunity to move up so quickly, learn so much and gain real hands on experience in running a small business.
rpm. .eoâ&#x20AC;˘ Enterprising applicants, send cv to: Joss Rutherford HR Dept, Enlerprise Rent-A-Car, Beechwood House, Depot Rood, Newmarket, Suffolk, CB8 OAt E¡mail: jrvtherfordOerac.com. An Equal Opportunity Employer
Netball confident of BUSA success despite draw WASHOUT HITS BUSA FIXTURES UEA I 21-21 Coventry I UEA 11 22-21 Northampton 11 By JOANNE TEBBUTT
AN IMPRESSIVE performance against a strong Coventry side has raised UEA netball 's hopes of storming forward in BUSA competition .
After a disappointing start, the netball firsts gave a polished performance, w hich hopefully marks the end to the losing streaks that dominated last semester 's matches .
Leading throughout the match, a confiden t and skill ed UEA si de reaped the rewards of the hard work put into trainin g sess ions with new coach Shirley Harmen. However, after a valiant effort and a lead of four goals after the third quarter, the team couldn ' t hi de their disappointment with th e 21-2 1 draw which Coventry secured in the final agonising moments of the game on Wednesday January 3 1. Di straught that th ey co uldn ' t maintain the lead, club capta in Rachel Tay lor rema ined posi tive about the team 's overall perform ance.
Proud
Heavy
UEA'S BUSA football fixtures were thrown into chaos last week after persistent rain waterlogged three of the Colney Lane pitches. The two pitches nearest the river, which had burst its banks, were saturated to the extent that o ne pitch was covered in standing water. With all four teams scheduled to be at home club chiefs decided that it was easier to cancel all of the games rather than decide who should play and who shouldn 't.
m
The Men's Firsts were scheduled to play host Oxford Brookes, wh ile all th e seconds and thirds and Women 's were supposed to be entertaining Leicester. This left last Wednesday's BUSA schedule decimated, after the mens' firsts and second rugby had to be cance lled, and the Women 's basketball tie was called off at the last minute. The only sport left untouched by the weather and Jack of players was hockey, with UEA putting out four full teams.
She said, ''I'm proud of the continuous effort and commit ment from all the players th roughout the match." UEA's defence put on a stunning performance with the dynamic part nersh ip of Jess Bowden and Laura Bampu s saving th e tirin g UEA side from disaster as Coventry attempted a final onslaught. Ai lsa Hemming, who has been a crucia l pl ayer throughout the season, once agai n demonstrated her ti reless athletic abi l ity with some
outstandi ng intercepti ons and defensive play. Rachel Tay lor and Lindsey Bennett work effectively together in attack to out-manoeu vre an imposing Coventry defence. Bennetl and goal shoo ter Shelley Hinde continued their un shakable ability to shoot under pressure, scoring some vital goals in the fi nal stages of the game
The team worked together, with outstanding performances coming from A my Salmon and Helen M atthews in defence wh ile Jo Gough gave a distin gui shed performance at centre, providing a constan t source of support and skilful play. After a few initial problems with the strength and size of the Northampton goalkeeper, shooter
Sophi e Judge made so me impressive shots with consis tent accuracy. Team captain Sal mon was delighted with the result and showed her joyful anticipation for the final three matches saying, '"The girls worked well as a team and all put in one hundred percent. Th ey played an absolute stormer. I can ' t wait until next Wednesday."
Coach And Tay lor was positive about the fina l two games in the group stage thank s to the impact of the team's new coach. " She has given us the confidence about out game as individuals and as a team. She has worked to enhance the ability that was already there and brought new tacti cs in to take our game up to a di fferent level,'' said Taylor. A lthough the firs ts couldn't hold their lead in the final stages, the victory of UEA second s aga in st Northampton 22-2 1 cheered spirits of both teams. With an impressive reco rd of only one loss thi s season, the seconds have high hopes for the rest of the season. UEA on the back foot
Spon sored by
IIIWaterstones ACROSS :1. 8 9 :1.0 :1.2 :1.4 :1.5 :1.9 20 2:1.
Romantic gift (6, 3 ,4) Eye infection ( 4 ) Entranc ing (7) Spice Girl ( 10) Treeless plain (6) Eat (6) Lingerie (10) Appealing (8) Women w ith stamina (4) Brief encounter (3,5,5)
DOWN 2 3 4 5 6 7 l.l. :1.4 :1.6 :1.7 :1.8
Special friend (8) - Garbo, fi lm star (5) Shut out ( 7) Precise (5) True Tarantino ( 7) Love - (4) Under age ( 8) Bulky ca rgo ( 7) Swap spouse (5) Finger (5) Unsigned , abbrev (4)
r--------- -------------- - - , There 's a ÂŁ10 book voucher from campus bookshop Waterstones up for grabs fo r compl eti on of the c rossword, ideal for all t hose course book purchases. Fill in your name and a contact number ore-mail address below and put it with the completed grid in the co mpetit ion box in th e Hive by Friday, February 23. Name ...... .. ................................... ... .. School ..................... ........... .. .. .......... .
Solution #:1.4