COVER ART BY FUCHSIA FUTURA
EDITOR HOLLY J. McDEDE ART DIRECTOR ADAM WHITE 04 WOMAN CUTS THINGS by FUSCHIA FUTURA 05 FROM BRUSHES TO BYTES by JAMES McLEAN 06 MUSHROOM BREEDS ART by KATIE KEMP 07 DIAL 906 by JESS HOWARD 08-09 RUN THIS TOWN by MIKE VINTI 10-11 LIVE FLESH by HOLLY J. McDEDE 12-13 EAT SHIT INVADERS by BECKY MANNING 14-16 TATTOO CULTURE by RUTH KNAPP 17 SK8 TERROR SWOOP by HOLLY J. McDEDE 18-19 SKATE OR DIE! 20-21 AN ARTISTIC WALK by ANA DUKAKIS 22 GRAFFITI IS EVIL by HANNAH ARMSTRONG 23 BRINGING HOME THE BACON by ADAM DAWSON 24-27 REWRITING THE NEWS: THE SAD TALE OF THE CONSTIPATED GOLDFISH by HARRY ARREL, JAKE HUNTLEY, ALICE HUTCHINS, HOLLY J. McDEDE, KR MOORHEAD and ADAM WHITE COLLABORATIONS BETWEEN WRITER AND ARTIST: 28-29 AN ARTISTIC WALK by JAKE REYNOLDS and IMO SIMMONDS 30-31 INT/EXT by ELLIE GREEN and SILVIA ROSE 32-33 AN ARTISTIC WALK by GIULIETTA LANTERI LAUD and CARLO SAIO 34-35 STORY FROM THE CITY by JAKE REYNOLDS 36 EINSTEIN HEARTS BOMBS by DANIELLE HANCOCK 37 THE KNIFE CUTS by ALICE HITCHENS / FONTASIA by NIGEL HERWIN 38 THERE IS NO NEWS by HANNAH GARRARD
ILLUSTRATION BY ANA DUKAKIS
C
BUT DON’T WORRY, IT’S ONLY PAPER! ollage is the sound of ntz! ntz! ntz!, it’s a man with
In the digital age, collage offers a way to connect the
a chair leg for an arm. It’s, ‘What’s a beautiful
past with the present, occasionally offering glimpses into
woman like you doing in a bar like this?’, a monkey
the future. By asking ‘what if?’, recycling and combining
driving a car, a woman with the eyes of a fish. Collage is for
disparate images to make new illustrations, new ideas can –
anyone who ever wondered how to put a spider into space, who
just sometimes - be teased into being.
dreamt of being as tall as the Eiffel tower, who contorted
The process of creating these illustrations can sometimes
their faces in strange ways as child, and secretly wished
be instantaneous. Two pieces of paper can fall together
that the wind would change.
on the page in front of you and form wonders of their own
In short, collage is about possibility and finding new ideas
accord. Other times, it’s all about the hunt, leafing through
by combining existing ones, putting characters into places
old books and well-thumbed magazines to find just the right
they’d never otherwise be, giving life to the inanimate, new
images to combine.
surroundings to those stuck in one place too long.
Look out for FuchsiaFutura avidly perusing the second
That’s how it is to FuchsiaFutura, anyway. A collage
hand bookshops of Norwich or get yourselves over to her solo
artist based in Norwich, common features in her work
show, Gallops, at Yallops Gallery, St Augustine’s Street
are black and white photos, bold bright colours and
from Friday 1 – Monday 4 May, 10am – 4.30pm.
simple design. She sees collage as a visual form
Check out more of her work on Instagram [search for @
of sampling, cutting up and reforming images to
fuchsiafutura] or for queries/commissions/digital contact,
shift thoughts and perspectives.
email fuchsiafutura@gmail.com. Fuchsia Futura
‘CARMEN MIRANDA AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’
‘WHAT’S A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE YOU DOING IN A BAR LIKE THIS’
NEWS EATS MAN 4
C
reative industries are funny, frightening,
and
unpredictable
cosmically places
Straight into
is
and
cosmically
illustrator and occasional storyboard
of creative employment; you adapt to
artist, I found myself sliding into
your surroundings if you want to stay
this quirky digital industry.
in a job. secure
In-game
funny,
This
freelance. From working as a freelance
To
the
mutated
work.
part
approach.
of
artwork
all
illustrative
JAMES McLEAN
in-game
to
At first it was working in a purely
frightening
unpredictable
work
is
a
nature
fascinating
and scary role. First and foremost,
money or product licenses, video game
there’s
companies will use pitch documents to
time. You’re hired as a product moves
define the fundamentals of the game they
into production and everyone has their
plan to development. I found myself
own horrors to focus on. In-game work
doing
is high pressure. You are sometimes
artwork
pencil
for
pitch
storyboards
interfaces colour
level
pictures
concept.
I
to
documents;
convey
plans to
recall
or
sell
game
digital
no
developing
training
as
thousands
there’s
of
pieces
no
of
graphics for a game, graphical assets
the
game
that have to be mathematically pixel
on
pitch
perfect - make a minor mistake and
working
documents including Tracey Beaker, Hot
create
Wheels and Doctor Who. Some secured
forced, frustrated smiles flashing in
development, some failed
your direction. High School Musical
From there, storyboarding was also
a
major
calamity
with
many
was one game I worked on, creating
added to the job description; sketching
hundreds
out the scripts for intro and outro
clickable items to the little arrows
scenes for in-between levels. I would
on the navigation HUD. All very glam.
break
down
assets
from
Over the past few years, with the increase in online stores for handheld
technical chaps who would mock up the
devices,
storyboards using the 3D game engine
veterans in the game industry describe
then send these crude screen-caps back
as a return to the “golden age” of
to me to be tweaked in Photoshop. For
the 1980s. From being dominated by the
Star Wars: Jedi Trials (2009), I was
major corporations in the 1990s, video
given access to Lucasfilm’s art vaults
games has returned to its roots, with
where I could sign out images, chop
developers and coders shrugging off the
them
big
montage
into
graphical
storyboards that would be sent to the
and
scripts
of
pencil
up
the
their
digital
there
has
distributors
and
been
what
some
mid-management
artwork place them over the screen-
and going straight to the consumer.
caps
as
from
one
finish
stills.
arm
It can be a lucrative, artisan gaming
from
world if you’re lucky, but it remains
another. I did the same for Doctor
filled with stress, risks, and a lot of
Who: Return to Earth (2010) on the
job juggling.
picture,
a
A
Yoda
Yoda ear
Wii. That would have been a set of
NEWS EATS MAN 5
forward
digital
If there are designers out there
animated comic-strip style intro and
considering
outro sequences, however budget cuts
their
and time constraints meant most of the
versatile, and worryingly undeterred
scripted storyboards never got used.
by the last five hundred odd words,
Got my name credited above Matt Smith
maybe consider looking at videos games
though – and we all know the higher
– it’s a world of design that seems to
on the credits the more important you
have no really inclination of going
probably are. Probably.
away. James McLean
work,
what if
E C N E HOW TO MAKE G U L F N AMES AND I
direction they
are
to
take
creative,
S L E PIX
‘TRANSPARENT’ (PAUL STANLEY)
N
THAT IS NONSENSICAL. THE XVI COLLECTIVE ISN’T. ew York to London, Manchester to Norwich. These are
exciting to listen to once it all came together.’ As well as
the cities inhabited by the various faces of the xvi
these audio pieces, Harris’ miniature silverpoint drawings
collective. It all began back in 2012 with a summer
also provide a fascinating depiction of the Atomic bomb test
residency in London: twenty artists came together for over 100
that took place on Bikini Atoll on 1st July 1946; the images
hours of lectures and one-to-one tuition under the tutelage
vary in size and format, bringing a sort of dynamism to their
of Matt Roberts Arts. Artist and member Paul Stanley said,
appearance.
‘over this period we began talking about support networks for
Norwich-based
range
greater network for exhibiting work and arranging shows in
cities, ‘exploring the idea of the sacred and mystical in
new cities.’
the modern world, and specifically urban environments.’ She
uses
a
watercolour
a
materials. Her work aims to explore the psychogeography of
which
and
uses
installation
variety
of
alongside
objects
and
works
said, ‘It seems to me that something that is shaped by the
mediums
from
will of so many human minds over hundreds of years must
painting
and
have a higher significance’. Watts’ work is striking for the
audio-visual
way in which it reads meaning into spaces which are often
compilations and found images.
overlooked as redundant and without significance; her work
Kirsty
with spaces in Norwich in particular brings alive aspects
with
diverse
photography, sculpture
out
graphite
also
it would provide us with more expansive opportunities and a
work,
a
Watts
was after this that we brought together the xvi collective;
artist
such
Jemma
of
Each
techniques
artist
artists and the need to work together to pull resources. It
with
to
Harris,
miniature
who
started
portraits
has
expanded her work over the past year, incorporating audio clips into her work, leading to new experimentation with sound and images.
of the city’s ‘rich spiritual history’ through the use of natural materials. The collective has worked on numerous projects over the years, one of their great ventures being a residency at the
‘I have recently begun exploring nuclear explosions, using
Lookout Tower in Aldeburgh; Stanley said ‘being in such a new
a variety of mediums. I started off by taking photographs of
environment, and such a specific construct of space leads to a
the sky. One of the images I captured really held me: it
great deal of experimentation; our work develops based upon
drew the vision of a mushroom cloud. This led me to the
our surroundings, and the lookout tower provided a specific
development of an audio piece How I Learned to Stop Worrying
challenge to our way of dealing with this space and the
(1945-2013), which plotted the timeline of nuclear testing. I
presentation of our work.’
worked with a number of musicians who each produced different
xvi are currently working on numerous projects for the
sounds relating to the countries who partook in the testing.
future, with some artists travelling out to New York over the
It was a challenging piece to put together; I had very little
summer for a residency which promises yet another explosion
control over its development, but the final version was really
of talent. Katie Kemp
NEWS EATS MAN 6
‘UNTITLED’ (JACK CORNISH)
HELP! ART EMERGENCY!
U
ntil I took on the task of writing this piece, I had
now that they are away from the pressures of deadlines and
never heard of artist collectives before. The only
academia.
method of artists working together I had previously
The
group
currently
consists
of
6
members;
Katerina
researched was the work of patrons, lead artists and the
Artemiou, Jon Charlton, Jack Cornish, Alec Game, Jade Jamean
employees they supervised to create their work. I had no
Lees and Tom Little. The current members of the group are
knowledge of artists working equally to reach a set of shared
all photographers, with a multitude of working styles. The
aims and goals.
collective say that the make up of the team is very fluid, and
As it happens, there are a number of artist collectives
will inevitably change and fluctuate over time. This change
working in Norwich. To further my understanding of the working
will predominately be a result of the movement within their
of these groups, I looked to the production style of the 906
working styles, and the individual goals of group members.
Collective, a group of artists that started working together whilst in University in 2013.
The artist whose work stood out most prominently to me was that of Jack Cornish. Cornish’s work is reminiscent
The collective was born after the group first organised
of
childhood
magazine
images
that
instructed
the
reader
an exhibition together whilst still studying at University.
to guess what object a close up picture had been taken
Whilst collating the show, the group realised that their
from. There are intensely detailed close ups of everyday
working
styles to
could promote
that
mesh
well
their
others.
auditions,
own There
together,
natural objects and movement. His series Abstract is almost
work
and
mystifying. Identifying origins of photographs takes repeated
no
consideration, and could speculatively been interpreted in a
or
number of ways. I would suggest that this is why Cornish has
were
interviews
competitions
to
bring
the
chosen to leave the photographs untitled.
collective together, just a
I found the first photograph in the series to be the
group of friends with shared
most interesting. At first I thought it was a flower, I saw
goals and common interests. With
gradient colours reminiscent of petals, and an intensely
a desire to involve the community around
detailed centre with all the movement of a natural object.
them, and the works of other artists. Individual shows are, for the majority, produced by the featured artist alone, with the group often coming together
Upon additional consideration the image turned out to of a paint droplet on water, the ripples of colour exploding across the fluid’s surface.
to help produce the final exhibition. However, members often
My research into this particular art collective has been
help each other out by providing input and a fresh set of
most educational. Examining how different artists have are
eyes to a project.
The collective have said that they are
able to maintain individual working styles, whilst helping
eager to return to a more rhythmic working schedule, now that
each other with group projects, is new method of working to
a number of founding members have left University. They are
me. One that I hope to continue exploring as I investigate
excited for the collective to develop ideas and exhibit work,
these types of artistic groups further. Jess Howard
NEWS EATS MAN 7
S
treet
before the first Art In My Mouth at Stew
people’s art on walls and that was it.
journey in recent years; since
art
has
been
on
a
big
Gallery.
This is our own space so there’s more
Banksy broke out of the Bristol
Mike
What’s
the
to consider but it’s great to have a
underground and it became ok for middle
Norwich street art scene? Do you paint
permanent home for it. First Norwich
class kids to like graffiti there’s been
or anything yourself?
then New York, Singapore….
plenty of debate about the future of a
Frazer
long neglected movement.
guess. I used to doodle and that here
the work it shows?
No,
your
I
involvement
live
through
in
others
I
Mike
What does Moosey Art look for in
and there but now I put artists on and
Frazer It has to be different, exciting,
leading the way in keeping the spirit of
run these shows.
something
the street art scene alive while moving
Mike How did you get into street art in
Norwich has a strong fine art scene,
into
Somewhat surprisingly Norwich is
people want to see oil paintings of the
Frazer I like the difference of it. I
broads etc. but we want to bring some
and Sam Harrons’ Shhh collective bridge
guess i like things that aren’t supposed
colour into the city.
the gap between canvas and spray can,
to be there. When I got into I used to
Mike Are there any artists from Norwich
focused firmly on alternative lifestyle
read books and follow the scene but I’d
you rate in particular?
and breaking down the barriers between
never go out and do it, until a few
Frazer Anmar [Mirza], Jay Cook is great.
art and its audience.
years ago I was just a fan.
He does kind of dark illustration but
artists in the street art scene reject
Mike Talk us through the idea behind
there’s colour in there too. Everything
the label, seeing their work as just
Get Walls.
he does has something to do with Norwich
another form of art and questioning why
Frazer Well it started with Toasters,
as well. They’re both in the opening
the distinction exists, after all no
who are great, but it’s simple. We just
show.
one claims to be a ‘gallery artist’.
want to ‘get walls’. More walls, more
Mike You also have the London Police
behind
Art.
displaying some work and they were at
Frazer
Mike Has there been any tension between
the first show, what’s it like working
Bailey, founder of Moosey Art and one
your project and the more ‘old school’
with such a high profile collective?
half of the team behind Get Walls, a
graffiti writers in Norwich?
Frazer
project aiming to bring more art to
been a lot of talk of gentrification in
before the first Art In My Mouth show I
the streets of Norwich and beyond. Mike
the scene generally.
emailed them explaining that I’d set up
Vinti sat down with him as he gets ready
Frazer Not really, they want to paint
Moosey Art and asking if they’d be up
to open Moosey Art’s first gallery.
where they’re not supposed to, that’s
for showing in Norwich. It was a lot of
part of the ethos I guess. We do it
work flying them out and everything but
legally but we’re not stopping them or
they’re great guys.
taking it away. Most people have been
Mike If you could show any artists work
Mike So you’re opening the gallery in
really supportive. Same with Norwich in
whose would it be?
a few weeks, could you tell us how you
general, with the gallery everyone’s
Frazer I’d love to put on D*Face. He’s
started Moosey Art in the first place?
been saying ‘Ah Norwich needs this’ and
my
Frazer I’ve loved art generally since
so on, they seem pretty up for it.
just street art. I’ve sent him like 4
I was young. I was out on my bike one
Mike
day and I saw a nice piece on a wall
gallery been like?
and I thought “I’m going to put on a
Frazer
show”. That was a couple of years ago,
with the Gallery. At Stew I just put
Norwich’s
the growing
Many of the
masterminds scene
Local
before.
particular? What drew you to it?
of
spaces.
seen
artists such as Henry Boon, Anmar Mirza
One
traditional
haven’t
is
What’s
THESE INTERVIEWS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE BY MIKE VINTI
the
There’s
a
transition
There’s
to
the
I
love
favourite
the
artist
London
in
Police
general,
so
not
million emails but so far no luck. He’s big so I guess when you’re at his level
a
lot
more
work
you have to know you can sell at a show, one day.
ANMAR MIRZA
more
you
NEWS EATS MAN 8
M
oosey Art opens on the 16th and its
process as sampling; does music influence
to ponder it I guess.
opening show runs until the 2nd
your work in anyway?
Mike
May. One of the artists featured
Anmar I can’t paint without music; I’ve
doing with Get Walls….
in the show is NUA student Anmar Mirza.
always got headphones in. I’m really
Anmar Yeah, we were going to go to
His work is all over Norwich both on
into lo-fi surf rock and Motown/ Northern
Norwich’s twin city in France and spend
canvas and the street and that’s set to
Soul.
a
be just the start. Mike Vinti spoke to
Nina Simone. David Ruffin is probably
because of the gallery opening we have
him at his studio, which he shares with
my favourite musician, he was in the
to postpone it. Hopefully there’ll be
local artist, Sam Harrons and designer
Temptations. It’s such powerful soul
enough free food at the show to make
Kieran
music.
up for it.
opening a café space next to Moosey’s
Mike What’s your involvement with the
Mike You’re launching a clothing line
new gallery on Bridewell Lane.
street art scene in Norwich?
as well.
Harper,
the
two
of
whom
are
Jazz
as
well.
John
Coltrane,
Similar
week
ethos
painting
to
with
what
Get
Frazer’s
Walls
but
Anmar I wouldn’t say I’m that involved
Anmar Yeah with the clothing its part of
Mike Could you talk us through your
with
another
a lifestyle brand. I’m trying to tie in
work? You’re a guy with a lot going on.
canvas for me. If I see a plain wall
food as well, we’re doing blogs and some
Anmar Well, I get bored pretty easily.
it’s the same as painting on a canvas.
stuff with local restaurants which is
When I find something I like I want to
It’s just there, paint it.
about gourmet food on a student budget.
run with it as far as I can. With the
Mike Moosey’s opening is pretty big for
My art as well. It’s about promoting an
art, I used to be into filmmaking and
Norwich and the whole scene in general
‘alternative’ lifestyle I guess.
then I got bored of that so I started
has gained acclaim recently…
Mike What motivates you to do all this,
doing
Anmar Yeah, there are some big street
how do you find the drive to keep it
that. Then I saw a documentary about
artists there as well.
going?
Jean-Michelle Basquiat and that got me
Mike
How does it feel being put on
Anmar My background I guess, my parents
into painting. It’s harder get bored
alongside people like the London Police
are from Pakistan so we didn’t have a
with painting, there’s so many avenues
and Toasters?
huge amount of money growing up. When
you can take it down so at the moment
Anmar It’s weird because when I was in
I left school I didn’t have any gcses
I’m still exploring.
school those were the guys I used in
either. I spent ages seeing everyone
Mike How did he influence you?
my research so to be in a show with
doing what they wanted and I wasn’t. So
Anmar What I took from Basquiat was how
them is pretty surreal. I haven’t taken
I had to flip it. I got a place do to
to use Colour. I’m influenced by Picasso
it in properly but it’s overwhelming.
a Fine Art foundation at City College.
as well so I spent a while learning to
Hopefully I can sell more work than
Now I’m in a position we I can do the
use lines. I just take bits of art I
them…
things I want.
like and keep sampling it until it’s
Mike
something completely different. What I
Norwich you rate?
paying off as well.
like about Basquiat’s work is that it’s
Anmar Henry Boon, I have a thing for
Anmar it’s getting there, a few years
all spontaneous so everything I do now
line work. He does big illustrations
and I reckon it’ll be where I want it
is just off the cuff.
which is cool because a lot of people do
to be.
Mike Do you ever plan what you’re going
tags or more conventional graffiti style
Mike Where do you want it to be?
to paint?
work so he’s bringing something fresh.
Anmar I want to get paid to travel and
Anmar Not really, when I was in high
Mike Your work is all over Norwich, from
paint walls and do shows. And the money
school
planning
gig posters to the inside of cafes to on
from that will fund the next thing when
and it just kind of killed it. When
the street, do you have a preference of
I get bored of painting. I want to
you’re painting spontaneously it’s like
where you put your work?
branch out sometime, who knows what’ll
instinct, so if you make a mistake you
Anmar If I’m painting a wall I go where
happen? No point panicking about it,
have to work to fix it and that’s where
there’s traffic. It needs to be central.
we’ll see where it goes.
the fun is.
People take different things from my art
there
You
was
referred
and
lots
to
got
of
your
bored
of
artistic
Are
art,
there
it’s
other
just
artists
from
Mike
It’s
an
impressive
story,
it’s
so I want them to take some time just
LEFT TO RIGHT: ANMAR MIRZA
Mike
illustration
street
NEWS EATS MAN 9
M
any of us can remember the disappointment of the face painter who cannot grant us our every wish and turn us into who we want to be. “Can you turn me into a
squirrel?” can sometimes be met with, “I only do dragons.” Dragons sometimes look like iguannas, and requested fairies sometimes look more like moths. While working at a zoo, Cat Finlayson was watching a face painter at work, and the child emerged, looking like a green tiger rather than a snake. “And I basically lost my temper,” Finlayson said. “And so I decided to have a go.” Soon the Suffolk Wildlife Trust asked her to paint faces for their events. She’d paint animals on people’s faces to help the children learn more about the animals their faces had come to resemble. Before long, Finlayson started winning face and body painting competitions. When her husband took a a job at the Hong Kong Yaht Club,
IT’S ART ALL OVER YOU!
she discovered a whole new world of faces demanding to be painted. That’s when she decided to go professional. Since then, she’s gone on to win 1st place in Professional Body
Panting at the Phizzog/Folkestone Art Trinniel Competition,
though that’s not necessarily a good thing. But that’s just
1st place in BodyFactory Cornwall, and actually, she’s won
child’s play. Then there’s the body painting championships,
pretty much all the Body Painting Awards that can be won. Up
where hundreds gather to watch the best of the best compete.
until last year, she trained staff to decorate the faces of over 40,000 Rugby fans at the Hong Kong Rugby 7’s.
“You’re given six hours to paint,” Finlayson said. “I never paint nudes. I should make that clear. The girls and
Now she’s the resident artist for Paintopia, a face
guys are always in their knickers. Most of them give you a
and body painting festival held in Norwich that includes 3
theme to paint on. The World Champions gives you a theme
days of competitions as well as a parade. Since she started
about a year in advance. So there’s hundreds of people
nearly ten years ago, not much has changed in the world of
competiting under the same theme but there’s a hundred of
body painting, except that there’s more of it. Now, she
different ideas.”
says, it’s hard to find a children’s party without a face
While Finlayson has experience in other art forms, she
painter, though the face painter will usually be a clown who
says there’s no experience like working with artwork that
isn’t very good.
can get up and move around. And, before the day is over,
“Whatever booking you’re doing, whether it’s at a night
it’ll be gone. “It just comes together in people’s heads to
club or a party, 80% of the boys still want to be bats and
choose something really memorable,” Finlayson said. “It’s
80% of the women still want to be butterflies,” Finalyson
artwork that’s living. It’s moving. It’s sweating.”
said, though she gets the strange requests as well. “I had
Holly J. McDede
one man who said he wanted to be a piece of cheese.” These days, the face paint is cheap, so anyone can do it,
Left to Right: Wish You Were
Here
Backing
Our
McKenzie); (Helen
On
Daubney);
Boys Brighton
Elvins
Smalley); Vogel,
(Vix
and
Professor:
Apprentice:
Jo
(Carla Pier Marni Sabine Banks;
The Suffragette (Kim Jackson) Photography courtesy of Cat Finlayson.
NEWS EATS MAN 11
T
he sun-vibrant shots of Anglia Square may never be possible again. A drink and some cheap film from Poundland, looking at the graffiti, noticing the elderly regulars
of the covered benches. At the end of antiques browsing, away from concept cafes in a living part of the city. Reflective flats surround the area – ‘eat shit’ invaders softened to ‘eat shitake mushrooms’ a week later, at least it’s life. Developers were trying to be fought off with hate graffiti and a sense of disgust, the reasonable response to homeowners of public space.
Now it has a buyer so will be “renovated” and
of course gentrified. Student housing, supermarket chains – the rare legal graffiti wall, independent businesses, charity outlets
and
low-income
shopping
is
being
pushed
out.
In
favour of... cleanliness, income for the council, independent entrepreneurs, modernity. The violence of these mechanical decisions I’ve simulated, I put film through the harshest conditions; I didn’t care for it like I should. It’s a faded postcard, a sun-ridden ‘the way we were’. No one knows how much of the architecture will remain after they have had their way – the pillars careering roofs upwards, a clock on top of a glass bud, Partridge looks to the sky in despair, hoping for survival. Taking in the sweet-soaked pavement, in trilby and tweed – fresh street wear, not tired hipster wear. I want to see that clothing store struggle, he has a dream.
A car dealership, a caff, a
butchers, a budget store I have never heard of. Across the street they sell coffee for a fiver and slices of unrisen tier
PHOTOGRAPHY BY BECKY MANNING
cake and coffee for a fiver. Becky Manning
NEWS EATS MAN 12
BECKY MANNING
NEWS EATS MAN 13
NORWICH INFESTED BY RABID SKIN ART FANATICS! BY RUTH KNAPP
There
are
a
ton
of
tattoo
shops
in
Norwich, so many we could arguably be recognised
as
the
tattoo
capital
of
England. This is a guide to several of them,
their
specialities
and
notable
features. First of all, though, remember to do your research! A tattoo is for life, unless you pay loads to get it removed with hot ouchy lasers, likely more than it costs to get your tattoo in the first place.
Indigo Tattoo and Body Piercing is the
just
around
corner
does cute food and a mean cacti. If you were after a mandala or a sleeve of dot-work, then you’d want to book in with Aston Reynolds - his recent
on
leg sleeve on a client is stunning and makes me jealous I
Lower Goat Lane. It’s a
didn’t plan my tattoos better. He also has a rather awesome
well-established parlour with piercing available every day,
Cara Delevingne mandala print that is something to behold!
and also a team of four full-time tattooists. Hollie West is
Heather Gee is the lady to see if you want any kind of
the girl to see if you want something cute or chubby! Her
Polynesian tattoo, her intricate designs take patience by the
‘Chubba’ Girls tattoos have gone down a treat, and she also
bucket loads.
Left to right: One of Hollie’s ‘Chubbas’, Aston’s Cara
print; Hollie’s signature food
Photography by Ruth Knapp.
NEWS EATS MAN 14
Rag and Bone is a lively, bright
Brad Ward has a darker style and is happy doing anything
studio above Philip Browne menswear,
from his ravaged mind, like creepy dolls, devils or lonely
with four full-time staff. Old master
hearts. He has a lot of stuff drawn up and ready, so if you’re
Wink Evans can pretty much do anything.
not entirely sure what you want this can be a plus. Rob
He’s an incredibly talented artist, so expect a
Wilden is new to the team and his forte is pastel cocktails
waiting list - good things come to those who wait,
and trippy mushrooms. Also full time in the studio is Wink’s
remember. His speciality is super-bold/traditional with his
twin brother Rich aka Dicky - he is particularly keen to
own spin and the thickest of lines, also anything weed-
put Russian criminal tattoos onto you, super old-school/
related.
traditional, perverse cartoons, or anything from the 90’s.
Clockwise from top: Rob Wilden’s colourful flash; Rich Evans’ flash sheet; a neon entrance; Wynx’s lynx! Photography by Ruth Knapp.
NEWS EATS MAN 15
If
you
were
Barbareschi is a master of nouveau trad, it’s traditional
looking
for
a
with a more romantic edge - think stags heads, birds, flowers,
more
serious
and flamboyant ladies. However, if you were after a more
place
to
get
soulful approach to tattooing, then Oliver Whiting can hand-
tattooed, then head
poke a tattoo into you. His designs are dainty and detailed
to Black Dog Tattoo on St. Benedicts, where you will find a
and black... always black.
team of three full-time tattooists, including Jon Longstaff.
Elsewhere in Norwich, head to Rude Boys for black and
He loves a bit of traditional Japanese and Norfolk folklore -
grey, and Sith for bio mech. And don’t say getting one done
I still wear my Norfolk windmill with pride, thanks Jon! Enzo
didn’t hurt, because we won’t believe you!
Clockwise from below: Black Dog’s flashbook; Oliver Whiting’s hand-poked moth; Jon Longstaff’s Japanese work; Enzo Barbareschi’s bird work Photography by Ruth Knapp.
NEWS EATS MAN 16
When
Liam
occasionally
Painter
discovers
walks new
through
worlds
and
Norwich, new
places
he to
skate. These places tend to be grudgy, sometimes trashed utopias. Painter knows they won’t last long, and so he and his friends frantically photograph and video tape these places to make them last a little bit longer. One of the spaces, in the south of Norwich, used to be ruled by 12-year-olds who seem to be auditioning for crafty tyrants in Lord of the Flies. “Once I came by and they were mixing cement to build stuff to skate on,” Painter said. He and his friends would offer their cement mixing insight. A few homeless people would sleep there as well, and an old sunken boat occasionally emerges to the surface. Another space was the old Lakenham cricket ground, which was recently demolished to make room for housing. “I got most of my cutlery for university from that space,” Painter said. “And some old VHS tapes for cricket lessons”. He and his friends code named it Wimbledon. Most of the spaces he used to dwell are no longer there, or are no longer inhabitable. But he doesn’t mind so much. “That’s why we document,” he said. “Like our Wimbledon space. We’ll always remember that as the Wimbledon summer”.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY LIAM PAINTER
Holly J. McDede
NEWS EATS MAN 17
When Norwich City Council announced a ban on skateboarding in the Norwich City Centre, Jon Swords
and
Michael
Jeffries,
two geographers who teach at Northumbria University, headed to
Norwich.
They
asked
the
skateboarders there to doodle their worlds. These are some of the results. Graffiti
supplied
by
Swords and Michael Jeffries.
Jon
ANA DUKAKIS
I
f I asked you where in Norwich has the most graffiti, your first answer probably wouldn’t be the cathedral – and yet Matt Champion, head of the Norfolk Medieval
Graffiti
Survey,
markings,
has
ranging
found
from
over
those
five
carved
thousand during
individual
the
twelfth
century, to those surreptitiously left last month. The Survey was established in 2010 to find and document examples of medieval graffiti in Norfolk’s numerous churches. The pilot project studied 200 churches, only a third of the medieval parishes that can be found in Norfolk, and found that over eighty percent of the churches contained significant amounts of pre-reformation markings. Matt Champion is an alumnus of UEA, but that’s only part of the reason for his interest in the area; East Anglia has the highest concentration of medieval churches in the country, as you may have noticed when walking around Norwich. There seems to be one on every street, rather like Starbucks. They
serve
as
a
reminder
that
Norwich was once the second city of England, built on the back of the wool trade. Due to their prominent numbers they are an excellent place to start when studying medieval graffiti. During
the
seventies
and
eighties
there
was a strong public feeling that graffiti was anti-social and culturally subversive, this feeling is only recently beginning to be shaken off with well-known artists such as Banksy harnessing its provocative and political nature. But this is very different from how it was seen 700 years ago. According to Matt, the graffiti found in churches wasn’t viewed as vandalism, but rather as an act of devotion. Many of the markings were either requests for divine intercession, or attempts to ward off evil. Some of the most common engravings are what are known as Compass Markings, named such because they are near perfect circles, the kind you could make using a compass (although the current theory amongst archaeologists is that they might have been made by women using their sewing scissors). They are often found near the font, which has led historians to suggest that they were designed to ward off evil spirits that may prey on newborns before their baptisms. The medieval graffiti which has survived to this day is HANNAH ARMSTRONG
only that which was carved into the stone of a building, any markings made on the plaster of a wall have long since been re-plastered or painted over, but these kinds of detailed markings in such a hard-wearing material would have taken a great deal of time and, as most church walls were painted during medieval times, would have stood out. This would suggest that graffiti was not frowned upon in a medieval parish, or even discouraged, rather it was seen as part of worship. Perhaps Norwich County Council’s legal graffiti walls aren’t as novel an idea as previously thought. The
Norfolk
Medieval
Graffiti
Survey,
and
its
sister
survey in Suffolk, are run by volunteers, so if you would like to find out more about the local ‘wonders of the medieval period’ or get involved, you can visit their website (www. medieval-graffiti.co.uk), or for those who’d like to just dip their toes in, Norwich Cathedral’s visitor guides are always helpful in showing you the graffiti of our Norwich ancestors.
ACTUALLY, GOD REALLY DUG IT!
When so much history is on our doorstep, it would be a crime to miss it. Hannah Armstrong
NEWS EATS MAN 22
‘THREE STUDIES FOR A CRUCIFIXION’ (VIA PULLED UP)
B
LOOK AT ALL THAT MEAT AND BLOOD! ritain was never really at the forefront of painting for
horror it becomes difficult to think a person like you or I
the first half of the twentieth century. All the great
could feel such depths of torment. The figures are so twisted
Impressionists you know, all the Post-Impressionists,
with rage, pain, agony, they look like they just stepped
and most of the Modernists belong to Europe or America. Then World War Two happened and destroyed everything. All the
right out of a nightmare. In
the
case
of
this
particular
painting,
all
those
beautiful scenes of the night sky or a countryside village
horrendous faces might be reactions to the other figures in the
waking up seemed pointless, vapid even. The world had fallen
scene. In the centre of the painting, or the middle section of
apart, why bother with nice little pictures of places that
the triptych, a man lies in the foetal position on a bed. His
had probably been bombed off the map? It was Europe that
innards are his outtards. Blood spatters stain the sheets.
suffered the brunt of the war, and it was an English painter
Something has torn him apart. His face is twisted in agony
who responded to the horror of it all.
– his pain might be beyond the physical, or it might hint
Francis Bacon was the best, and also the most controversial
at something sexual, or it might be
artist working in the immediate aftermath of the war. First
both. The figure has been brutalised,
a little biography. Bacon was born in Dublin in 1901 but
though maybe he perversely enjoys it.
moved to London just before World War One. He left home at
There’s a shadowy figure in the third
16, wandering aimlessly around London, Paris, and Berlin.
painting, watching everything. They
In 1927, he happened to wander into a Picasso exhibition in
might like it too.
Paris (as you do) where the show tattooed his mind. He picked
The third part of the triptych
up a paintbrush, moved back to London and started to oil
is the crucifixion.
paint. Unfortunately he didn’t like them too much, destroyed
thing is hung like a slab of meat in a butcher’s window, cut
most of them, and paid the bills as a furniture designer. A
open and helplessly dangling from the ceiling. It’s mangled
fulfilling career path for a man like him, I’m sure. Anyway,
almost beyond recognition, except from a couple of bones
to cut down a bit, in 1945 Bacon exhibited his now infamous
sticking out here and there. The body is meat. Bacon was
triptych (a traditionally religious set of three works meant
an atheist, only using religious symbolism to explore his
to be seen together), Three Studies for Figures at the Base
themes. The crucifixion is removed from its usual context,
of a Crucifixion. It made him a star, loved and repulsed in
away from its hopeful ending, where there’s a resurrection
equal measure, like Miley Cyrus.
and everyone lives happily ever after. Now it means everything
It’s easy to see why people were (and still are) repulsed by Bacon. Take another triptych, this time 1962’s Three Studies for a Crucifixion. It has all the elements Bacon loved to work with. So let’s look at them.
Well, a kind of crucifixion anyway. The
that’s terrible in the world: mortality, suffering, brutality, violence, fear. There’s no hope here. If you get the chance to see any Bacon, there’s no reason you shouldn’t go. So visit the Sainsbury Centre for Visual
First comes his treatment of human figures. Sure, Bacon
Art, from 18 April until 26 July, look at their Francis Bacon
is a figurative painter but he does what he can to complicate
and the Masters exhibit and feel like nothing will ever be
this somewhat. The things you’re looking at are human, yes
okay in the world again. Or if plunging to the depths of
excellent let’s move on, except they’re not. That’s not quite
suffering isn’t really your thing, there’s always Picasso,
human. Their faces are twisted into such expressions of
Matisse, or Titian on display instead. Adam Dawson
NEWS EATS MAN 23
EASTERN DAILY PRESS JANUARY 1, 2015
ILLUSTRATION BY NATALIE ORME
NEWS EATS MAN 24
THE SUN JANUARY 2, 2015
THE FORTEAN TIMES JANUARY 2, 2015
NEWS EATS MAN 25
ANIMAL LIFE MAGAZINE JANUARY 3, 2015
THE HUFFINGTON POST FEBRUARY 20, 2015
NEWS EATS MAN 26
MAIL ONLINE APRIL 9, 2015
READER’S DIGEST APRIL 10, 2015
NEWS EATS MAN 27
WORDS JAKE REYNOLDS ILLUSTRATION IMO SIMMONDS The ocean laps Norwich now, or Norwich laps the ocean. The cathedral’s up next, its windows dark with a glimpse of the underworld’s water, wrung black from the Fens. It started with a nation collectively forgetting and priests trying to seek meaning in the rapture’s slow agony. Now the cathedral crumbles into surf: a blessing in a font of earth. Of all the centuries this city saw, the twenty-first was the beginning of the worst, caught in the complacence of creeping comfort. The flat lands fell into a doze and ended up comatose: dozens of Zs spiralled up, dizzy from the nether zone. Now children make paper boats and blot them with the last of the honey. They float like a halo of tiny omens, colours not seen since the sun folded. The folk of Earlham and Dereham come for this, the quiet demolition of the last great building. The cathedral bends its knees, head cast down, ready for ritual, ready to drown. It started with houses and human chains in the sea, arms straining for tablets that played out fate in real-time. Before the blackness took the archives you could see the houses topple and rewind to see the bricks jump out of the ocean. Norwich laps the ocean now, ready to capsize. The last of the wild folk watch as, in four heavy sighs, the cathedral collides with the sea. The organ pipes flood: the first time blood has met these veins in decades. A distant wheeze begins a haunt that will settle like frost over the city’s remains.
NEWS EATS MAN 29
WORDS SILVIA ROSE ILLUSTRATION ELLIE GREEN
‘Sometimes I walk through crowds
and pull down my hood as far as it can go’
‘Last night I dreamt that I was telling everyone a story
but no one was listening - no one let me say the
punchline’ ‘I try and do things that will make me melt a little, give me nice quiet feelings. Those morning moments - sunlight - coffee - just you awake’ ‘Soaked with sweat
I danced up close to everyone - as close as I could -
I did - I needed it - but I left hungry - the true thing wasn’t there’
‘I sat on the bath’s edge it all felt so deliciously helpless my wet face my wet arse the cold bathroom. There was something so beautiful in giving up’
‘The sickening crunching and tightening
that happens when you neglect yourself - travel far from yourself -
travel far away into other people’s bodies. I’ve been on holiday for too long’
‘I need to strip everything away lose my layers turn away from the sun so I can build myself again’
‘What scares me most is living a dull life, one of seclusion,
one where I choose to be upstairs creating a cocoon to prevent any love
from penetrating me, leaving me naked, unarmed’
‘I fear the path where I lose myself, become heady and withdrawn from routine, choosing powder and the dwindling promise of adventure that gets old and lost over time’
‘I seek the world, I embrace it’
‘I seek myself, I embrace my knees... I bend my knees’
‘I open the door’
‘I bend my head’
‘I call out -’
‘I look inside’
‘I look outside’ I see me
NEWS EATS MAN 31
WORDS CARLO SAIO ILLUSTRATION GIULIETTA LANTERI LAUD He rests among a Savannah of ash that has become our memory to the open wilderness. The dust of ourselves, like bloods-rust forgotten on him, in the wind that no longer sings, but groans distant, through the lost skull I now eternally wake in. Through the cycling shadows of hollow sockets…I look out. The wandering mosaic of the savannah unfurls delicately before me to defy the artistry of this civilization, grown in our minds silence. And though this silence is but a mirror of the air, it shimmers like a mirage in the desert of my gaze. Above this mirage the air lays placid as a film pulled off a lake in the breathing sun…but the sun here does not end with the day. It takes film after film off the lake, until the lake is one barren negative. A desert, wherein the journeys of lost valleys are shaded by the contours of ourselves; within which, we gather our ash, to cast out into the night, to try and plot an unfinished constellation to the map of our undoing. That unfolds in this speechless desert. A desert on which descends the rich musth of the rain, speaking to me in hopes I am too old to contain. They fall like torture. Alive, momentarily -on impact, then gone in another memory, hiding itself amidst a tear that mixes with my brittle chalk to satin my shadow. Even as it remains there, growing, the more I fall away; I still hope, I still manage to imagine that my white shadow will somehow ossify and form the whole again. If I did not…well, this would just be a savannah of ash…a desert of white shadows, and I, a wayward traveler, found inside the skull of the elephant that remained.
NEWS EATS MAN 33
NORWICH YOUTH IN FRIVOLOUS ADAPTATION SHOCKER! BY JAKE REYNOLDS
NORFOLK, SWALLOW THE SUN
Developers consider Norfolk as a top area to generate solar electricity Open wide. It’s coming to you, spoon-fed, a golden nugget for your tongue. You feel like the adults have been ignoring you, but look at them now, all crowded in your lap, their fingers on your lips, their lives in your mouth.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. WARD Ex-pupils say ‘Happy birthday, Mr Ward!’
Mr. Ward is ninety today, and the girls he taught aren’t girls any more. Some are, in fact, grandmothers. They take him to lunch and pay with pocket money. None of them fight. There is a quiet love between them, a straight-backed respect for the man who still calls them the bestbehaved girls in Norfolk, their hands on his, their smiles: didn’t we do good? No - didn’t we do well?
WRITE TO: HMP BURE
Wymondham rapist serving life sentence posts lonely hearts advert in biker magazinew Meanwhile, in Scottow, a rapist serving life takes a moment out from lunch to look for love in the pages of a biker magazine, the first man to write of ‘live music, camping & rallies’ from behind bars, no mugshot, just a blank silhouette, a dot-to-dot, a fill-your-own.
NEWS EATS MAN 34
THE MATCH
Prime Minister goads Ed Balls over Norwich City at PMQs The thugs leave for the beer-stained stands of parliament mahogany, where up front Balls cradles a yellow shirt like it’s a doorstep baby, his parents further back, shouting at Cameron’s boy in the hope that he will wet himself and let down his old man, all of them screaming at these children, these potentials, these barely-formed ideas.
MJ CRANE’S FIRST AID CASE
Can you solve the strange case of the 100-year-old medical kit left on a Dereham doorstep? A tincture of iodine, its label a filter of what we like to think the past looked like: maybe it did, after all. All this and more, swept onto the shore of a doorstep. A sling and bandages, loose as skin, the corpse of an old safety pin, aromatic ammonia for waking something dark within.
A SWIFT PINT
Norwich City of Ale team asks Taylor Swift out for a drink Imagine the tab for a Big Weekend, a whistle-stop tour of pubs per head, a rolling of barrels, an invitation written in the foam: come on, Taylor. While you’re here. Think how good this will look on Twitter, on Instagram. You, here, with us, pretending it’s a pint that brings us all together.
SONG FOR STACIA BRIGGS
Five steps to mastering the art of being miserable O before you I felt nothing on pissing in the shower, what men and women should know about cleaning, how to get my kids out of this fucking house, how to master the art of being miserable, how to understand the pain of watching kids having fun and then how to avoid it, how to feel about Eastenders, how to script the murder of a woman played by four girls.
THE BRADWELL BUTCHER
Bradwell butcher carves out new career as ballet dancer Arabesque: tighten shin and leg, the flank taut under muscular mass - hold -pirouette: rump right round, rally the raw meat to the ground and plié, right down, all haunches, the neck and clod twisting as the eyes meet their maker.
PAULINE KING
Pauline King murder: The very private life and very public death of Pauline King Pauline King, when I was eighteen my mother said, ‘I think it’s going to take you some time to truly fall in love.’ Pauline King, that scared me. I walked past your house every day and now it’s in the papers, your life spread over a line of text. I could have stopped for a glass of water and listened to your life, then asked, ‘how should this be remembered, let alone reported?’ Look at me, with all you know: is it better nearly being there, or having long to go?
NEWS EATS MAN 35
CHRISTIAN KETT (LEFT); TIM KLOED (RIGHT)
O hut
liver
Locker
Lampton
of
I walked past last night and they
Cromer
invited
Einstein
to
were lit up, flooding the beach with
stay
on
in
an
Roughton
isolated
beach
panels
of
panels
stretched
bright
light.
it was wooden and small and today it flew away. At ten thirty this
hung
fulfilling
when the tide came in they shifted
morning its rooftop was glowing,
his un-unusual hobbies of sailing
with its motion, they blazed across
and when I looked to the windows all
and
position
the new-lain sea. Heading home I
the flowers had turned white. Not
became safer, even gave a speech
consider telling mother but think
an ordinary, dirtiable white but
to the locals. Inside the beach hut
better of it, she’ll only think of
something much stronger. It had heat
Einstein carried out his unusual
spies and tell me to stay home.
and a pulse, and a strength that
violin
job -
and,
beach as
his
across
There was a house on Cromer cliffs,
dark sand, the opposite of shadows;
the
out
These
Nazi persecution. He came along, on
to
evade
the
out
Heath
hurry back against the wind.
experiments that lead to
hurt my eyes. I covered my face,
the first nuclear bomb, a fact that
That house on Cromer cliffs, it’s
just for a moment, and when I looked
the known pacifist never reconciled
still
it’s
again the flowers were knocked over,
himself with. This story imagines
getting brighter all the time. Now
their vase rolling in the sill as
another use of his nuclear power.
the chimney smoke has settled as
the whole building shook. The pink
pink, with glimmers of gold that
smoke
There’s a house on Cromer cliffs, it
seem
the
from the chimney and as I watched
is wooden and small and very close
wind. Often, there’s flowers at the
the whole hut rose slowly from the
to the sea. Till recently I thought
window but not like any I’ve ever
ground. It took maybe a minute for
it stood empty - that it was hollowed
seen. If they’re daffodils then they
the house to leave the cliff-face,
out and silent except maybe for the
are the first of their kind - the
dropping great clods of wet earth
wind. But now, maybe not. Now, for
petals are luminous, a faint mintish
from its bottom like a dog shaking
the first time I’ve ever known, smoke
green hangs about each stem. They
mud from its feet. As it went over
rises from the chimney - every day
peer out to the dark sea, heads
the cliff and out toward sea I saw
and
the
swaying as someone within grazes
a face at the window, with a soft
windows were always dark; blank-
past. Every night now the lights
cloud of hair; old but not tired and
eyes that hinted at the thoughtless
burn late and faint hum comes from
smiling as he left.
gaze of crouched-up spiders, backed
within. I heard music in that hum,
into the frames’ tight cracks. But
maybe Mozart. I think of mum and
in
many
colours.
Before
wooden
to
and
weigh
small
heavy
but
against
came
quicker
and
stronger
Danielle Hancock
NEWS EATS MAN 36
Film student is really, really sorry he accidentally caused a manhunt in Mousehouse Heath
THE KNIFE CUTS! il coltello taglia: The knife cuts. Deep as a double edged sword. It was all an accident, a
misunderstanding,
a
moment
of
absent-minded
madness. The machete and the blood were as fake as the mask which concealed the actor’s eyes and expression. There was never any need for panic, panic was not the intention. The flash of red in the
Leder Lalsh
hands of an apparent mad-man soon saw to it that
A film student is really, really sorry he accidentally caused a manhunt in Mousehouse Heath, as we just said but which should bare repeating because of just how sorry he is. The 18-year-old student has apologised to everyone he knows and everyone he does not knows for bringing a fake machete to Mousehold Heath while filming for what he described as a “Blair Witch style movie.” This move brought 5 million 999 calls on Wednesday evening.
panic, people did. il coltello taglia. The knife cuts. The current condition of the world is in utter disarray. The Mousehold man-hunt a fine example of the cautions people must take in an ever incautious world. The 999 as quick as the thumping of a heart. The police in the road were easily explained away, a film project gone wrong. But fear is a lasting response, and the responsibility cannot be shrugged off like the mask of a killer. It is not so easy to dissuade from the system. Words and actions, sharp as a blade, define us. il coltello taglia... The knife cuts. Alice Hutchins
Diss printing firm discovers mystery font Cathony Farroll
A family-owned printing company in Diss has stumped upon a very special collection of never before seen fonts on its very own business space. The fonts have yet to be identified, but font experts believe they are from the mid 1800s. They were found in the premises of Cupiss Letterpress. This business is stationed in The Wilderness, leading some to think this story to be fake even that it is, in fact, real. It is hoped that the newly discovered fonts will spark another new interest in typography. “It looks like they were cut out,” said the font expert, John Smith, who owns the space. “Someone cut them with their own hands. It’s very strange.”
FONTASIA! There’s... Comic Sans, Verdana, Arial Black, Garamond, Vivaldi, Kino MT,
Times New Roman, Techno, Impact. Goudy Old Style, Bauhaus 93. And now there’s Diss. Perpetua, Excalibur, Smashed SF.
Westminster, Ravie, News Gothic Condensed, Jokerman, Elephant, Gill Sans Ultra Bold,
Bazooka, Fine Hand, Lucida Sans Unicode, Did I mention Diss? Webdings, Wingdings, Fuji, Beach Thin, Wide Latin, Rage Italic, Jagger, Ninepin. Nimrod, Mackintosh, Matisse ITC, Parchment, Poor Richard, Hobbit, Andy. Stop. Finding a font to rhyme with Diss, Is not exactly a piece of cake. And, hand on heart, I have to tell That rhyming fonts has been absolute Hell(vetica) Sorry. Nigel Herwin
NEWS EATS MAN 36
There’s been a fire in a tumble dryer sirens wailed down Chapel road to put out the blaze No one was injured. In Ridlington near North Walsham a donkey stumbled across a field strayed from the herd needing to be heard alas, the ass fell into a ditch. Rescued, it is now back with its owner. Cawston man in real-life drama will be cooking Thai food for ITV’s Come Dine With Me. Everyone got along perfectly, apparently. There’ll be strong winds overnight in Mattishall and Stiffkey but police are not expecting calls for trees that fall because everyone’s tucked up safely in their beds. In a similar vein there are no problems with trains between Yarmouth and Sheringham. But Norwich tracks are notorious for points of failure It has been said. Finally at Stalham Tescos the manager is going nowhere on an exercise bike. Hannah Garrard
ILLUSTRATION BY NICK TREGIDGO NEWS EATS MAN 38
BACK COVER BY FUCHSIA FUTURA