VERA VENUE Learning to love yourself again
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From baILEY, 19 Q. “My mental health is really struggling right now. I thought it would get better when I moved to uni. My family don’t accept me for who I am or who I love and I thought being away from it all would be so much easier but in a way it’s almost like I’m missing it? I feel so lonely and I miss all the noise albeit from shouting and arguments. I know I need help and I want to get help but I have no idea where to start. I’m scared that even the person I ask for help won’t accept me as that’s basically been drilled into me since such a young age.” the same thing. Society, Pride. Membership is totally Hello Bailey - thank you for writIn terms of where to start with getfree, and they run a number of different ing such a genuine and vulnerable mesting help, the best thing you can do is social activities (including sober ones)! sage. Starting uni is hard for everyone keep an open mind and try a few differPride would be a great place for you to for a variety of specific reasons, and it ent things. It might seem terrifying to not only meet people at Uni with simisounds like you have a lot on your plate. open yourself up, especially as you’ve lar interests and passions, but also meet You’re facing a huge challenge in come to expect nothing but rejection, other queer people who will understand moving away from home and leaving but it’s the only way you’ll be able to your journey all the better. You can also your comfort zone behind. Even when prove to yourself that you will be acmake use of UEA’s Support network, our home environment is filled with cepted. Your parents’ attitudes towards which can be found via the uea.su webconflict and makes us feel unwelcome, you are not representative of everyone’s site. Student Minds is also a fantastic for a lot of us, it is still home, and what attitudes towards you. resource, with loads of support options we’re accustomed to. One avenue I would highly recomthat you can explore at studentminds. You’re not alone in having confusing mend you explore is UEA’s LGBTQ+ org.uk. feelings about missing it all. I think one of the biggest processes of going to Uni is realising which things you love about home, and which things you don’t want to take with you into your own space. It is your chance to re-evaluate the things you took for granted and had no control over, and it can be just as exciting and freeing as it is intimidating. Though you miss the noise, I’d encourage you to take some time to embrace the new quiet you’ve found at University. Uni can be a noisy place in and of itself, and this could be a chance for you to take time - proper time - to be alone. Like you say, loneliness is a big factor of your distress at the moment, but this is probably made more negative because you’re not used to being alone. Once you’re comfortable with it, being alone is great. You can do what you want, go where you want, and wear what you want, without having to worry about anyone else’s needs or anxieties. Try to actively spend time with yourself, doing things you enjoy. Take yourself on a date to the Sainsbury Centre, or go for a wander through town. You might find that being alone and loneliness are not
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