Concussion 22

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On the Cover: Tony trujillo-lover of all things metal-schralps a backside smith over the death box at the afro bowl. Photo by bryce kanights

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Concussion Staff Senior Editor Davoud Kermaninejad Associate Editor Jonny Haywire Art Director Lee Charron Music Editor Ali Neff Video Guy Dave Amell, Esq. Photographers Jason Murray Charlie Middleton Bruce Rodela Rhino Contributing Photographers Bryce Kanights Matt Patterson Uri Korn Sarah Haron Tony Farmer Matt Moose Keith Jacobs Mike Yaccarino Ken Nakahara Rick Gonzales Bobby Lake Writers Dave Amell Paul Morrison Matt D. Sara Drexler Tony Farmer Texas Dan Salba Glenn Wagner Mikey Ratt Steve Roche Ray Gurz Graphic Artists Orr Menard Lee Charron

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Concussion Magazine PO Box 70535 Richmond, CA 94807-0535 www.concussion.org

product

Comet Skateboards cometskateboards.com Comet Skateboards is probably one of, if not the only skateboard manufacturer in Oakland. They mostly make a bunch of longboards for downhill and slalom and that kind of thing, but they also make “regular” decks for regular people like you and me. Their wood is pretty good and they press the shit themselves, or at least they used to. I’m not sure what’s going on these days, since they blew that million dollar loan they had with the City of Oakland. That sounds like something we at Concussion would do. Borrow a lot of money, spend it all and have nothing to show for it. And if we were based out of Oakland I’m sure that’s what we would’ve done. And Like Comet, we would’ve thrown skate parties at our warehouse with lots of free food and booze and get Drunk Horse and Pitch Black to play. In any case, I’m sure they don’t want me talking about all this shit.

Oops, sorry. Nonetheless, Comet is still around and they still make skateboards, although like I said, they’re more established in the longboard and slalom market. But whatever, their wood is still good and the boards they gave me are as good as they ever were.

Volcom Clothing volcom.com Volcom sends us stuff all the time, I can’t believe we’ve never reviewed their goods. I mean I’m a goddamn walking Volcom advertisement 75% of the time.

Seriously, there’s days where I look down at my outfit and everything but my shoes are made by Volcom. That’s right, even underwear and socks. But whatever man, they make some respectable clothes which last. The jeans are the shit. When I fall off my skateboard I slide out on my ass a lot, and I used to tear the asses out of my Ben Davis’ in less than a couple weeks. But these Volcom Ergo jeans are triple stiched and I can slide out for months and months and still not wear out the asses. Hell, I only wash them once a month. And that Volcom horse shirt, that’s my lucky pony shirt I wear to the track. Last time I wore it I won $40 on an exacta at Golden Gate Fields. How’s that for luck? That’s right, horse racing season is on at the track, so from now until April you can catch me down at the waterfront in Albany, with my lucky pony shirt and some Volcom jeans, smacking my racing form against my leg and yelling excitedly as my horse crosses the finish line, hopefully in front of the other horses.

product Want to send us some stuff to review? Send an email to reviews@concussion.org and we’ll give you a physical address to ship to.

We promise not to sell your shit and not review it. Pinky swear.

Veggie Skateboards veggieskateboards.com This thing is crazy, the Skull deck from Veggie. It comes painted black and includes a kit to paint your own graphics, which I thought was a pretty unique idea. Although I would’ve included a few more colors than just blue, but whatever man, these guys are on a budget and this is some sick ass shit. The shape looks pretty fucked up but Farron, owner of Veggie, claims it is totally functional, although I have not set this thing up yet.

I’m still trying to decide what to draw. Should I take the easy way out and draw a skull? Or should I get creative and draw a portrait of a little gray cat on the bottom? The possibilities are endless, but one thing’s for sure: no one else in the industry is on the forefront of fucked up shapes with draw your own graphics like Veggie is. Hats off to an original idea, you don’t see many of those these days. Seriously.

Bacon Skateboards baconskateboards.com The Bacon GG Allin deck is pretty punk. That guy was scary as fuck. I always wanted to see him play live, but every time I’d try and go to one of his shows they got cancelled. It’s probably ok though, I didn’t really want to get pissed and shit on, that’s just not cool anymore. But these decks are cool, have solid construction, and come with sets of holes drilled in them so you can attach “trucks” and “wheels” to them, and ride them like a surfboard, but on the sidewalk. Just like Tony Alva in that Dogtown movie? Have you seen that? Man those guys are cool, I was always wondering who invented all of the radical skateboard moves I do in pools. I always thought I invented Indy grab and grinds, because I was doing them way back when in San Jose, but now I know TA invented them, as well as frontside airs and every other trick that I can’t do. But back to Bacon. Like Comet, they are a Bay Area-based skateboard outfit (if you count Santa Rosa as Bay Area) and they seem to have a pretty good thing going on. They probably sponsor a lot of kids up in the North Bay, but what do I know, I’m some old geezer who only goes to the Berkeley park. And the guy Colin that does Bacon has a pretty fun sounding mini ramp, but I’ve yet to go skate it. Anyway there you go, check their shit out, it’s not like they have the kill pros or coolest graphics around or anything, but their boards are pretty good, and when it comes down to it that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

Da Kine Backpacks dakine.com Man that shit is da kind. Oh wait, I’m not in Santa Cruz buying weed on Pacific Avenue from some stinky-ass hippies, I’m reviewing backpacks. What kine? Da Kine.

Huh? Ok it’s a little early in the morning for this kind of stupid humor, and I’m sure Mike V wouldn’t appreciate me making light of his signature backpack, which is actually pretty badass. And tough too, just like Mike V. This backpack writes bad poetry, sings in a band and wants to be Henry Rollins, but it does not run through graveyards. Just kidding, Mike, you can take a joke right? This backpack is actually quite functional and has all kinds of different compartments for holding your CDs and your iPod (not included) and your skateboard and dirty socks and whatever else you bring to and fro on 12 hour flights to Barcelona. And the other backpacks Da Kine makes are also pretty badass.

They have one that has a built in insulated cooler section so you can keep your beers, I mean Red Bulls, nice and cold on those long skate trips. My only critique was that it did not hold enough beers. But seriously, I’m pretty hyped on this stuff, they make some quality backpacks that surpass the days of the Outdoor Products backpacks I used to sport in high school. But I guess everyone uses messenger bags these days, at least that’s the impression I got from watching the kids in TV high school on the OC on Fox on Wednesday nights at 9. I know it’s not reality TV, but it’s my reality, ok?

18

Little Gray Cat graycat.com “Hi, my name is Cuddles. I’m very cute, and as my name implies, very cuddly.

Unless I’m having a freakout that is, in which case I’ll claw your eyes out and bite your nose and scratch your arms and legs. There’s a very fine line between being cute and cuddly and crazy and wild, and sometimes I’m not sure where that line is or when I cross it. After all, I’m just a baby, and I don’t know very much. Will you feed me? I’m hungry. Want to play? I like playing with bottle caps, scraps of paper, the strings on your sweatshirt–heck–just about anything will keep me entertained.

I’m tired, maybe it’s time for a nap. I like to sleep. But not for very long, because there’s always something new to explore or some trouble to get into. I’m very curious. What’s that you’re doing? Reading? Can I help? How about a hug?”

I don’t care how tough you pretend to be, once you’ve gotten a hug from little Cuddles, it’s all over. Kind of like those posters teenage girls have on their wall of the chiseled hunk holding a baby. Strong, yet sensitive; what every woman wants.

skatepark

Not sure if this is Lincoln, but Dawndra Budd shot the photo.

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e didn’t get too many “proper” park review submissions this issue, except for a couple which we’re not going to run. One guy from the Team Pain crew submitted a review of a park they had built, but running that sort of review is like letting a band do their own writeup, and that not exactly objective reporting. Sorry. So anyway, we’re still going to review some skateparks this issue, but they’re not proper parks and they’re not proper reviews.

But we have a bit of space to fill so this is the perfect opportunity to talk a bit of shit about some other parks which are opening or have opened in the area recently. There is a new park in Union City (between Fremont and Hayward) but we’re not going to check it out, it sounds horrible.

Besides the fact that the design is flawed and generally a total hunk of crap, you also have to pay AND wear full pads. And the parking lot you park in is also the parking lot for the Union City Police Station. Great place to have a beer after a hard session, huh?

There has also been some talk about a new park opening in Folsom, which is near Sacramento and home to the infamous Folsom Prison. That one is “supposed” to be pretty good but I’m not really willing to believe it and don’t want to drive an hour and a half to be disappointed. Done that one too many times before. So yeah keep an eye out for that, I’m sure it will be cool skating with prison guards’ kids, they’re probably some fine people, just like their parents.

Oh and I almost forgot about the Colma park. Haven’t been to that one either, but I hear if you want a good laugh you should go check it out. It’s supposed to be one of the worst parks in the Bay Area if you can believe that. I know, it’s hard to think that they can keep building them worse, but never underestimate the quality of today’s landscape design engineers. And I’m sure Wormhoudt has got a few turds up his sleeve as well. Can’t have a park review page in Concussion without taking a couple cheap shots at that guy, right? Keep it up, champ.

Hogan’s Replica Sarasota, FL So Lincoln, Holly and Flee from Fresno flew out to Sarasota and built a replica of Hogan’s pool at some skatepark. Sounds and looks like a pretty good deal to me.

They’ve honed their skills building additions to the Vagabond and Pedro, and their work has gotten very, very good.

I’m all for building pools at skateparks, but unlike most everyone else, I never got too hyped on the Donald park bowl, it’s a little too mellow and lacks enough vert for a proper backyard pool. And then you get “pools” like they build at some of the other parks here and there, where it looks like a pool but there’s no deathbox, shallow steps, and they do some weird shit with the coping (or worse, put metal coping on).

This Hogan’s replica looks like it has none of that. No pussy shit here, boys. Look at that shallow end transition, that’s not Donald and those shallow steps don’t look that easy. You’ve also got your your amoeba side pocket, your death box, and your deep end loveseat. The loveseat really puts the icing on the cake, because that is a genuine backyard pool obstacle that no “proper” skatepark builder would include. It’s just not that safe. But fuck safety, if you want safe, build a skatepark. If you want a backyard pool replica build a backyard pool in a skatepark, it’s as simple as that. And thankfully, people like the Pear Camp crew don’t care about safe, they just made a legitimate replica. Too bad it’s in Sarasota, but I guess I don’t need to go to Florida when the real thing is a hell of a lot closer.

PS–See page 62 for a photo of the real Hogan’s.

Washington Street Project San Diego, CA Glenn sent me some photos of how Washington Street is looking these days, and since we don’t have any other parks to review, we’re going to blow out their scene.

Actually it’s not like it’s really that much of a secret anymore, and I think they’re letting people ride it more and more these days, as the park is getting close to legitimately opening. And man this place is looking good! You’ve got tombstone walls here and there, cinderblock extensions, pool coping, hips everywhere, dong-shaped pump bumps, sketchy channels to ollie, and the vert corner with a loveseat. Hey, that’s just not safe, man.

But seriously, these dudes deserve massive props for pulling it off and building their own DIY park. Sure it’s taken a long time and there have been plenty of hassles and road blocks along the way, but that’s how it is with getting even a “legitimate” skatepark built by the city and some dumb-ass contractors. It will always be a headache, but when you build your own stuff, at least there is nobody else to blame when it comes out badly.

And you can put loveseats and other dangerous obstacles in and no one will question your decisions. But this park didn’t come out poorly, you know why? Because these guys actually skate and know what they’re doing. Imagine that.

So yeah, next time you’re complaining about how lame your scene is and how there’s nothing to skate, go and look for an unused freeway underpass, roust the bums, and start pouring some lumps of cement. Sure it will be a little rough around the edges at first, but if you have half a brain it will be a learning experience. And in six months or a year you and your buddies will be stoked. And if you’re not, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.

20

energy drink

by Haywire

No Fear

Ranking:

1

Flavor:

Sobe’s No Fear has been crowned the King of Energy drinks. Besides it’s stupid meat head name, it’s got the qualities I’m looking for in an energy drink. Decent fruity taste, and a strong instantaneous caffeine buzz that let’s you down gradually. Packed with vitamins it’s great for those days when your coffee buzz has run out, and it’s time for an afternoon pick me up!

Double Down!

Ingredients / Special notes: Vitamins C, B6, B12, with supplements Selenium, Zinc, Taurine, Panax Ginseng, Creatine, Carnitines and Arginine.

Ranking:

2

Flavor: Slogan:

Rockstar Energy drink is the fastest, most potent energy drink out on the market. Readily available in all gas stations, mini marts and liquor stores, Rockstar is the closest competitor to Red Bull. Perfect for an evening skate session or on your way to your next gig, Rockstar pumps you up, but let’s you down pretty hard. Rockstar is to be taken seriously. Consume with caution.

Party like a Rockstar!

3

Red Bull is the OG of energy drinks. At first I didn’t like the taste of Red Bull, but since then I have developed a taste for it, or shall I say, a desire. Red Bull picks you up, maintains your stamina and endurance, and slowly lets you down. A lot of research must have gone into their energy formula as it is the best on the market for giving you a good high, without crashing.

Red Bull gives you wings!

Ingredients / Special notes:

Ranking:

4

Flavor:

Vitamins B12, B6 and Niacin & Taurine.

8.3 FL. OZ

Energy Chart

Not sure what’s up with that slogan (cheap Viagra substitute)?, but Sobe’s Adrenaline Rush seems to be a toned down version of their No Fear. It tastes good, probably the best out of all the energy drinks, but it doesn’t really take you very high. I would recommend this for when you need a little more concentration or energy, but don’t feel like dealing with the come down.

Get it up. Keep it up. Any questions?

Vitamin C, B6, B12, Taurine, Carnitine, Inositol,

Panax Ginseng, Guarana.

Flavor:

8.3 FL. OZ

Energy Chart

Omega isn’t the worst tasting stuff out there, but it’s nothing that stands out from the others.

It gets the job done and with the mild fruity taste you feel like it’s maybe good for you. Is it? All those vitamins, herbs, and roots must have some kind of beneficial effect on your health. Or is it just like revving a car when it’s not going anywhere. Rrrrrrrrrrrroooooooom! Rrrrrrrroooom!

Got the Juice

Ingredients / Special notes:

Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12 and supplements Taurine, Canritine, and Panax Ginseng.

Ranking:

6

Flavor:

Serving size: 16 FL. OZ

Time

Monster

Energy Chart

This crap is nasty. It tastes and looks like radiator fluid. It makes you feel like shit, gives you a stomach ache, a headache, and diarrhea. It made me stress out and feel like throwing up. Then came the hot flashes, the sweating, biting my fingernails off, chewing on my pen, scratching my face, grinding my teeth and rapid mood swings. The only thing worse is the Lo-Carb version.

Unleash the Beast

Ingredients / Special notes: Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12 and supplements Taurine, Panax Ginseng, Inositol and Guarana.

Energy

3 / 10

Time

Energy

6 / 10

Serving size:

Omega

Ranking:

5

Time

Adrenaline Rush

Ingredients / Special notes:

Slogan:

Serving size:

Energy

8 / 10

Time

Energy Chart

Made in Austria. Good with vodka.

Slogan:

16 FL. OZ.

Energy

7 / 10

Serving size:

Red Bull

Ranking: Flavor:

Time

Energy Chart

Vitamins B2, B3, B5, B6, B12, C, and supplements Taurine, Guarana, Inositol, Carnitine and Ginko. *Also contains Milk Thistle , a potent liver cleansing herb, scientifically formulated to speed the recovery time of heavy drinkers.

Slogan:

16 FL. OZ.

Rockstar

Ingredients / Special notes:

Slogan:

Serving size:

Energy

6 / 10

Energy

8 / 10 Slogan:

Energy Chart

Serving size: 16 FL. OZ

Time

"Oh dude, I want a dragon and like some skulls holding a banner that's on fire that says Tony Danza rules." It happens all too often–over eager individuals just aching to get a tattoo. Regardless of a bad idea or terrible artist, these people want their tattoos by any means necessary. Well, here you go dear readers–some of the best/worst tattoos you'll ever see.

Just for reference, the one directly below this text says "Ain't nothing wrong with a little head". Black and white doesn't really do it justice.

All tatters courtesy of The Grime Collection.

Lord knows we’ve all been there, you’re going to a death metal show and you’re not quite sure what to paint on your face. The right face paint can make or break your status in the dark underworld of death metal, it’s like the right dress for prom, or a tight ass ride if you’re a rapper dude. It’s a necessity to say the least. So here at Concussion we thought we would give you a heads up of what's hot and what’s not in the wacky world of death metal face paint...

DO- The Standard is just exactly that, everybody’s doing it, everybody’s used to it, it’s a death metal standard. So when you're at the Anal Cunt Blast show you can sit back and just enjoy the tunes with out wondering if your make up is all wrong.

DO- The Misfit is originally punk standard but it is welcome with open arms in the metal community, I think because Danzig is still pretty metal.

We all know it’s not because of Jerry Only, that guy just won’t let the dream die.

DON’T- The Juggalo will get you killed most any place you go. Made famous by the Insane Clown Posse (fuckin idiots), the juggalo is probably the most blasphemous sin in the realm of metal face paint. Beware the juggalo...

DON’T- The Sadness is more of a gothic cry for help than a proper metalpainted face. I’m not sure of the repercussions of paint like this but that one guy in Norway got killed just for wearing a white sweater...I wouldn’t chance it.

DON’T- No one, I repeat, NO ONE likes an over-achiever. You go check out the Cannibal Cock Rape show with this little number on and you can bet your ass you’re gonna get laughed out of the place, and that’s the best case scenario.

DO- Spitting Snakes is hot for 2003, it’s probably the most cutting edge of metal face paints. It’s pretty obvious by looking at it that this little gem was just waiting to hit the scene. Bloody Overlord Dave of Prairie Dog Incision says and I quote, “Spitting Snakes just feels right!”

I was sort of struggling when I was trying to figure what to write about for the Fifth Annual Tim Brauch Memorial Contest at Van’s in Milpitas. I thought maybe I would just write about Tim, you know, about how he was a great guy and a ripping skater. Then I thought that would be just dwelling on the past and not recognizing the dudes that rode in his dedication contest. At that point I thought I should just write about Wade (above) and how when Wade skates everybody gets amped up and it seems as if Wade is channeling everbody’s electricity into his skating. Pure raw skateboard juice. Maybe that’s reaching a little bit. Scratch that. Oh I know, I could write about how when you drink beers at the Mall they cost like 6 bucks. No, no, that’s a lame idea, maybe I should say something about the street division of the contest, wait, I didn’t see it. Stop the presses, I got it, you ready, I am going to talk about Benji Galloway. That’s it, I’m gonna talk about Benji and how he never falls and makes the gnarliest tricks look super easy...switch. Oh man, I’m so glad I figured out something to write about, I was about to start crying... Um, I feel like I pretty much summed up Benji in that first sentence. Damnit, I should have elaborated more, I’m so stupid sometimes. Look, I’m sorry you have to deal with this maybe you want to turn the page or something. No, don’t turn the page, I got it, the theme for this article will be...Jonathan learned frontside grinds. He did.

In the bowl. I swear. At least that’s what I heard.

None of these ideas match up to my idea of writing about Tim. He was all about being stoked on whatever was around him at the time. He’s done some of the gnarliest things on a skateboard that I’ve ever seen with my own eyeballs. It’s cool to have this contest for him because all of his friends get to celebrate him for a day. The End. –Words Lee Charron / Photo J. Hay

“Um , sir, what do you have in the cooler?”

“Just food and stuff.”

“If you are taking it up to your room we’re going to have to go through it first.”

“Well, I don’t think you have to do that.”

And as easy as that, the receptionist at the Strawberry Lodge lost interest in us. It seemed that Dave had pulled some sort of Jedi mind trick on her and we were safe to take our cooler full of beer up to the room. There must be something about Strawberry’s geographic location or weather patterns which make it easy for anybody there to be Jedi mind tricked. Like when the Red Bull kid pulled me aside and said “Dude, stickers aren’t allowed inside the gate.” (making reference to my handful of Concussion stickers) I calmly said “No No, It’s OK,” and boom, I walked right in. Or like when the the security guard asked to check my bag. I waved my hand and told him, “You don’t need to check my bag, it has no beer in it.” I then walked right by him. It seemed like anything was possible.

The turnout at this years Strawberry Contest was pretty big considering we told everybody that last years contest would be the last one. It seemed like everyone forgot we said that, everyone except for Jesse at Heckler, she totally remembered and she still thought it was hilarious. She told us how rad it was to write emails back to all the people that had emailed her to ask if our little fib was true. She also said that this years contest was such a success that they might start having it twice a year. Awesome.

“Dude, who was schralping it?” I’ll tell you who, Duane Peters, Chris Senn, Wade Speyer, Sam Cunningham, Dave Ruel and many other ripping dudes. But the stand-out had to be “the hot girl” though, I’m sure she had a name but Dave and I didn’t bother to find out. She was simply “the hot girl” and hoo boy, let me tell you, yes she was. She rode in the woven's division and made it very clear that she could do more than just be hot, grinding over the light and the deathbox. Hot girl aside, other huge highlights included Duane Peters roll-in to the deep end — from a dead stop. Also, Peewee going 100 mph, Chris Senn’s kickflipper, Bailey’s smooth style, and Peter Hewitt jumping into the deep end face first on a lawn chair.

After the contest, it was to the bar where Dave and I tried to trade Damaged videos for shots of whiskey. Needless to say we struck out and ended up giving them all away, (you cheap fuckers). Truly the bar was a blur except for a couple things. Like my friend Cory telling me he was going to make out with some random girl. Actually he said “I’m going to shove my tongue down that girls throat” and then, boom, he did. Jedi mind trick. I also remember that for some reason “the hot girl” sat on Dave’s lap and since I was sitting next to Dave, I was sitting face to face with her. I remember she said something to me like “I’m sitting on this guy’s lap and I don’t even know him”. Nice.

Also nice was watching the other hot chick seduce some teenager. It wasn’t really a seduction, it was more like a molestation.

As a side note, a word of caution: if you ever think you are going to puke while in your room at the Strawberry Lodge and you look at the sink like it’s a worthy receptacle, think again. A sink is not a toilet, you can not flush a sink. No, you have to scoop the puke out after the juice has gone down the drain and figure out how to get rid of it.

–Words by Lee “Puker” Charron / Photos by Bryce Kanights

BRYCE KANIGHTS

You may not believe this, but Royce was a complete psychopath during his formative years. Seriously, he was prone to blacked-out, drunken episodes of heroic proportions. Shit like waking up behind the wheel of his car in the middle of some dirt lot, with no recollection of how he got there. He’d hook up with birds of questionable size and complexion, only to pass out mid blow job, snoring flaccidly. He lived in a pit under his mom’s house, and later a shit-hole apartment in LA, where he’d drink his lonely nights away and draw scenes of angst driven, mindless mutilation. For real, I’ve seen the sketch books. Royce was on the edge of oblivion, and it’s hard to believe he pulled it together into the plush, yuppie grove he rolls with today. He’s got the whole package: the wife, 2 kids, dog, cat, minivan, Volvo wagon, Dockers, IRA, 401-k, etc.

And yet, underneath it all, he’s still got those demons chained up inside. So every once in a full moon, out on the road, if you’re lucky, you’ll get to witness the RELEASE! Put him in a warehouse sometime ‘round midnight with a head full of Merciful Fate and Red screaming at him to “TURN ON THE POWER!” and next thing you know he’s wasted on one beer, hitting the King’s high notes and trying to punch a hole in the van’s roof. Or he’s throwing down front side 5-0’s over the pear camp’s shallow stairs, fucking barefoot! At the very least, feed him a mere 8 ounces of brew, and he’s talking story all night. Every filthy incident comes back to life, every disgusting drop of pornographic fantasia imaginable. And he’ll get everyone spilling their guts, admitting their darkest secrets. Roadies with Roy are best, flat out. This last one was no exception.

We recently got the kid out into the mountains for some pipe riding, and he did not disappoint. No one cheesed out in the least. Granted we had a good crew, including the Screaming Lord leading the

way, dragging that pink glove across the ceiling as always. The Man never slows down, even after hiking in multiple complete set-ups, plus 10 extra sets of wheels of varying size and durometer, not to mention that fanny pack stuffed with whos know what. Also, we had K.B. pioneering virginal downhill sections, flying on instruments only in ultra low light conditions, s-turns, fucking chaos! Then there was Roy, exploring uncharted heights in the elbow sections. One second he’s just cruising, setting up, then that mule-legged pump of his would blast him into the stratosphere. Me? Well, I did launch a sweet f-side air onto my face. That was fun.

A long weekend of federal trespassing went off with no hassles. It’s all been a bit sketchier given the post 9/11 paranoia, but so far so good. It was a real treat having Roy with us on this one, especially for karaoke night out in some long forgotten mining town. That scene was unbelievable. We had twenty-something fresh guy rednecks sing-a-longing with crusty 50 year old miners, and young guns Tim McGraw stylee with his high school sweetheart dueting that Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow ballad WAY too seriously. Still, Samantha Hitz (the female Sam Hitz) took the cake, dancing on the bar, swinging her (it’s) stuff. Can’t help but imagine what Roy may have gotten into had I gotten a couple more beers in him.

Picture it, Sam Hitz face, but a sweet little body. Maybe 10 years ago, yeah Roy?

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We had it all lined up.

After several years of trying to get a hold of the notorious Bill Swerski, leaving messages with Mrs. Swerski in Chicago, we finally caught up with him. Swerski had been ordered by his heart doctor to pick up skateboarding as to avoid another cholesterol-induced heart attack. When we found out he was flying out for the Bears/Raiders game, we jumped on the opportunity to meet up with him. With a promise of a free meal, Bill reluctantly decided to oblige with a photo shoot and a brief interview, if time permitted.

He flew in to San Jose International late Saturday night on the red eye out of Midway, and spent the night at the Holiday Inn in San Jose. The next morning, he met up with us at the Boardwalk, arriving in a Jaguar he had rented.

Swerski likes to show up to Bears’ games in style. In preparation for his arrival, we stopped off at 7-11 and picked him up lunch, which consisted of a Chili Dog, nachos (extra cheese) and a Super Big Gulp. When he arrived all he wanted to do was eat, but get that guy eating and he’s never going to get off his ass. I told him he could grub it all down while it was still warm if he pulled a trick for me.

With that motivation of a Chili Dog dangling in front of his nose, Swerski pulled his lipslide first try. But I still needed another shot, so I asked him to pull one more trick and we’d throw in a six-pack of road pop. He wasn’t happy about us taunting him with beer like that, but Swerski’s a good sport. He started carving around the bowl and right when I thought he was going up for the trick, he pulled the sneakiest trick in the book: the Cess-slide-Nacho-grabber-revert. Damn it Swerski. He didn’t quite pull it and the Nachos spilled all over the bowl. Game over.

At that point, Swerski was pissed off because his nachos were stuck to the cement, and his Chili Dog was cold. He was also getting nervous that he was going to be late for the Bears game. It didn’t start until 4, but it was already noon. We told him to meet us at Der Wienerschnitzel where we’d buy him a combo meal and do a quick interview, and then he could be on his way to the game. He agreed and walked off to the Jag, threw his Bulls parka in the trunk and drove off.

On the way there we stopped to fill up with gas and grab the promised six-pack. We got there 10 minutes later - no Swerski in sight.

I started panicking. I’m screwed! No interview, no article. As I was walking up to the counter to ask the cashier if she’d seen an overweight guy in a Chicago Bulls jacket, I noticed a napkin with some handwriting on a table next to remains of what looked like a combo #6, the all Beef-Chili Dog with fries and a Coke. On the napkin were some scratchings of a football play he was thinking about. He’d obviously been daydreaming while waiting for his Chili Dog to arrive. He’d eaten in a hurry and headed off to the game without a second thought before we arrived. We had Swerski in the palm of our hands and we let him slip away. I guess some things are more important than an interview in Concussion. We understand, Bill. Catch ya next time!

–Photos and attempted interview by Jonny Haywire

With his eyes on the prize, Swerski nails a lipslide in the bowl at Ben Lomond and proceeds to reap his reward, a 7-11 Chili Dog!

Swerski pulled out all the stops and almost made the dirtiest trick in the book: Cess-slide nacho grabber to fakie. Go Bers.

the story of obtaining a pee bag...

Over Easter weekend this year, I was trying to get more footage for my Ballistic Skateboards video part which at the time was suppose to be submitted by the end of June or July. So, I am trying to accumulate as much local footage because there is a ton of spots that haven’t been blown out and it would make for a different looking part. So after tweaking my ankle at this school, we stop at Wawa, and then head to the rail right across the street from my good friend Dan Pensy’s house. You need to set stuff up to it because it is high enough and has a kink. Well, after landing a boardslide over the kink, Dan says, ”You should try a 50-50, or are you over it?” I try not to think about it and look at the kink which looks like you have to miss it and land on the other part to not get hurt. Getting stuck in the kink and getting pitched wasn’t in the picture. So while the camera is out and a crowd of people start hanging out while I attempt the grind, the third try serves me a big shit shake and I sack the rail hard. I got a wheelbite right before the kink and tried to jump away or over the rail. I just caught the last bit. We are talking last 3 inches of the rail. Complete sackage to front flip and then I start running yelling, “It hurts, my balls!!!!!”. Not even after two minutes, I check the situation and some people are laughing and some dare not to say a word, and

I put my hand down my pants and came up with a hand covered in blood.

My first response was, “jokes over” and everyone just gasped. We filmed the situation and I walk slowly inside Dan’s house and head to the bathroom to find where it is bleeding. I bled through my boxers and jeans. I was a little nervous but I am always used to being in pain. I tell everyone to help me put the piece of wood and cinder blocks in the car and I drive myself to the hospital. It is an emergency center, smaller hospital, and the nurse gave me a tiny band aid and said if anything persists go to the main emergency room immediately. She said there might be a little blood in the urine but it will be ok.

I head home in pain, still bleeding, and after an hour, I try to go pee. This is where shit hit the fan! I couldn’t. I tried and tried and nothing came out. I instantly lost it and said to my girlfriend Michele that we needed to get to the ER. Something is way wrong. We get there and instead of waiting for a long time, they tried checking me in and I couldn’t sit and felt super sick, ready to blow chunks. I get my blood pressure taken and the nurse’s face turned whiter than mine. It finally sunk in how bad of shape I was in and another nurse grabbed me and they carried me back to the room. My bladder was ready to burst and they knew it - I was bleeding for the last 3 hours. The doctor comes in and all the doctor’s in training kept asking me “why didn’t you wear a helmet?”

Christ, can’t you guys see where I fell? You can’t cover your taint or grundel or whatever you want to call it. It is underneath. Of course they said it still doesn’t matter and I just ignored them. With 4 days in the hospital

with a torn urethra and fractured tailbone, I had balls filled with so much fluid and blood that it was like two huge grapefruits as nuts in a sack.

We are talking a smooth sack and now I know why sacks are wrinkly. It was the worst pain and a pissbag joined my life. After a few months my nuts started to look normal, I got the courage and started trying simple stuff on the mini ramp. Months go by and old peebags get tossed and new ones get put on, I just get used to it being a part of my life. It was weird how you just go pee without even knowing it. I just skated with it and also went on tour with it with my band this summer and we freaked a lot of people out. I kept skating to basically keep

my legs in shape and tried not saying anything about it unless someone from the band said something or they saw it creep out underneath my shorts.

5 months later it was removed and if I didn’t skate with it during my so-called “down time”, I think I would be really off with some of my skating.

That is basically it. We came up with a nice slogan, come up with lots of jokes about it and used it for band inserts. There were a lot of bills and now she is gone. The bag that I used to feel it’s warmth attached to my leg is now a bad/good memory.

- ray gurz / roy carnage

The following writings about Matt Gorman (aka GMan) are from some of the most dedicated skaters of our time. Whether or not you know these men doesn’t matter. Once you read what they wrote, it should give you an idea of what G-Man is about.

Vert, parks or pools he’s going to destroy it. If he’s not skating he’s going to heckle the shit out of you and eventually throw a beer on whatever is being skated. This guy will show up and he’s already got all the lines dialed you wish you could figure out before he even steps in the pool.

It’s stories like this one in Socal that make him who he is. First time at the pool, frontside shallow stairs, first try? First 10 minutes of the session? Never even stepped in that hole before? I don’t care how good that pool is, or the perfect line to the stairs. That’s just straight up punk as fuck skateboarding right there! Rolling into pools with a beer in his hand, the whole catch is that it’s probably his 20th beer! That’s the kind of bullshit we have to deal with while trying to ride with this guy. He truly is an amazing skateboarder who never gave a fuck about the spotlight or anything else. G doesn’t know we’re even doing this article thing. He’d tell us were all wasting our time and lets just go get wasted! From east to west, backyard pool to Washington St. GMan’s got it all figured out. Read these following words from these guys and enjoy the photos. That’s right mother fuckers!! You’ve now entered the realm of G-Man. A true legend in our eyes.

–Glenn Wagner Skate photos by Charlie Middleton except where noted Portraits by Sarah Haron

Roll-in at Art’s in Clairemont.

That’s a steep fucking pool and that’s not a can in G’s hand.

Photo Middleton

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“It’s funny until it happens to your house.”

–Rob “Slob” Weedman

My friend, Matt Gorman.

The G-Man, the Pee Man, Coach G is the smartest retard I know. At different pools, he can point out 2 or 3 different lines that I would never see. Any hole that I can hardly frontside grind he will probably do a handplant or lien tail in the same spot. He’ll show up at the pool with a backpack full of beers and white russians and rip! I think he will outlive all of his friends. No amount of booze or drugs (or fire) can kill him. Long live G! –Texas Dan

G-Man is a social enigma... up one minute then down the next, he is a character whose exploits have been well documented throughout the skate underground for some twelve years now. Small in stature but big in trannys this guy can devastate all comers in one fell swoop. Matt Gorman can go MIA for months at a time and then show up and take everybody out. Meanwhile you might get a call from his dad, who works for the FBI, looking for his son. G-Man throws a mean carve, destroys frontside and tommy-guns his way through any gnar situation-whether it’s a pool, park, or his latest fancy Washington Street DIY answer to Portland. I used to see G quite a bit riding pools with him and slide 540 up in the land of the Bad, and have very fond memories of adventures with him. At Palmetto #1 we used to tie up the dog and rip the Blue Haven kidney apart and Gorman did like 3’ airs with authority. Then we skated this square in Pomona and G did rad backside ollies over death and grinded the box through the corner like a mini-madman. The guy just schralped hard. Then he moved to HB with the Reuler when the Basic first opened up and they both ruled the place like no other. I skated a shitload of sessions with them bringing ‘lil Jesse along for the ride and setting him up in his playpen. It was rad because we all looked out for the little guy, and the usually partied-out G-Man never minded or gave me shit for it. Thanks man. I don’t get to see G-Man often anymore but still hear of him fucking it up bigtime, and he still skates gnar shit everyday and that keeps him on his toes for the finer things in life like backyards and crazy transitions. I would love to hook up with him more but I still have to take care of the kiddies first and skate second, which is still OK because Jesse skates a lot with me. Just remember, G-Man, that you guys have your own devastation area now and I do expect a phone call when shit starts happening down there. Good luck and keep it real, my man. GG with the PP fucking rocks!

–Salba

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First try over the steps, now go get me that gallon of White Russian.

Years ago when I moved out of the sticks, I stopped in San Diego. I wanted to skate the vert ramp, but Rhino did me a favor and took me to Salbaland. We met up with this little dude driving around in an orange VW Bug. I can’t remember if he was drunk or not. Since they didn’t make skatable pools in the one horse town I moved out of, I was experiencing real pool skating for the first time in my life.

This little beer drinking, foul mouthed, VW driving dirt was destroying it. I remember standing there in a stupor thinking, “This is some badass shit, this is how I want to skate a pool”, while he was doing frontside grinds over the shallow steps. Finally Salba snapped me out of my daze and told me to get the fuck out of the way so he could take a photo of GMan. That’s right; G-Man, G-Fucking-Man, Matt Gorman.

Now I have been living down here for some five years and GMan is still killing it and I still find myself in a stupor when he skates. G makes any session a better one; there is no bullshit with G-Man, or maybe it’s all bullshit, I don’t know.

Last week on our way to Shakey’s (which he had never skated) I bet him a gallon of White Russian that he couldn’t go over the steps frontside first try. Well he did it. And he passed out by eight! Basically unless you’re too uptight or

think too highly of your couch, you’re stoked if you get to hang or skate with G-Man. So I will leave you with my new favorite G-Man drunken slur: “Your pool’s next mothefuckkkker”.

–Steve Roche

So this one year I took G-man home for Christmas. My mom gave me a book on how to make martinis and a large bottle of gin. This was an extra large bottle of gin and my mom has a fully stocked bar that seats 5 people at her house. G-Man and I took turns being the bartender, chugging martinis we made all night. Finally my mom stepped in and made some shit that put us to bed. G-Man passed out on my mom’s couch but knew better so he rolled off the couch on to the floor. The next day I was awoken by my angry mom screaming about something. She comes in my room where G-Man is passed out on the floor and says, “You little shit, you pissed on my Persian rug!” “You fucking Pee man!” To this day she still calls him “P-Man.” P.S. She took the rug back to the store and told the guy it stinks, so he gave her a new one.

–Mikey Ratt

Charlie said, “In not one of those photos I sent you is G-Man sober .”

That would include the invert and backside D, and probably the lien grabber over the hip that Rhino shot, but Rhino also sent the photo in the lower left corner with a capti on that said, “G-Man layback at the El Cortez pool, ‘01 circa sober .” Classic.

G-Man makes this transfer all the time, but this day he slammed repeatedly. He must not have had enough beers in him.

Photo: Middleton

Right: Sean Stockton dominates the Berkeley park, so next time you see him there smoke him out. 180 along the race track. Photo: Nagahara Top: While Omar Salazar is no local, he still destroys whatever he rides, which in this case is the “vert” at the Berkeley park. Photo: Korn Well, this is turning into quite the crappy Bay Area park spread. Actua lly, these parks aren’t that bad but Novat o always makes me talk shit. Paul from Petaluma slob over the hip in the shitty bowl complex. Photo: Patters

on

nd box. Photo: Lake . grinding some Vagabo n out pool since Pala Mad Mike Yaccarino airs at the most blow er corn Slob Rob Sequence: Photo: Middleton

Fat Sean Rare backside stalefish sighting. Max Schaff at the vert camp vert ramp. Photo: Davoud

Left: Jacob Tillman, large lien air. Photo: Patterson Below: Manny Guzman slip sliding away at contraption night, while Dapper Dave Amell, Esq. shows us a variation of the drop-knee filming style he is so famous for. Photo: Davoud

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Clockwise from above: Pretty classic Glory Hole photo–rafts, beers and frontside thrusters. Gallo Vezzone f/s thruster. Photo: Patterson.

Look at us, blowing out the spot. Tony Loco getting crazy at Fabio’s new ramp in Oakland. Photo: Korn. From the archives: What were you doing in 1977? The other Mark Gonzalez was getting radical at Mitchell’s Cove, Westside Santa Cruz, dudez. Left: Steve Roche f/s rock at the Baker Bowl. Photo: Rhino

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Whoa, street photos? But you haven’t run any frontside airs yet?

That big gap that Eddie DiBiase is ollieing sure would hurt my old man knees. Fuck that. Photo: Patterson. Kenneth hoists a lien air at the NEW Lincoln City. Photo: Rhino. If you look closely you can see the dust kicked up by Jay Owens’ home made wallride.

Photo: Anderson

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Clockwise from above: Well fuc k, finally a fronts you so long? Fre ide air. What too sno Nate at Ho k gan’s. Photo: Mo two shots in the ose Tony Farm mag and they’r er gets e both crail slid Photo: Davoud This photo is pre es. What the fuc tty rad, but we k. with beer in ha already had on nd photo in the e roll-in mag already so Bakersfield Ben we couldn’t run probably doesn it big. ’t care though.

Mmmmm, cur Photo: Rhino vacious shallow end. Mmmmm.

Photo: Da voud

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Disclaimer: Concussion Magazine in no way endorses IV drug use or glamorizing that sort of thing.

That being said, these are the photos Bruce wanted to run so we ran ‘em. Deal with it.

Dearest Davoud,

I realize the title “Scraps” used to work for my little article in your mag. I actually used to send my photos to other mags before and try to pass off the leftovers to you as these really great photos, hence the name scraps. However, times have changed and I don't even look at other magazines anymore–not out of some stupid loyalty or something but because I have finally crossed the line of not being interested in what those other rags offer. See Davoud, I'm officially old now and only care about skateboarding itself and not reading about it. To be honest I only look at Concussion when I'm taking a shit and only then to see if you fucked my photos up. It's not that big of a deal really, call my article what you will, I just want people to know you not only get my first run photos, you get my only photos.

Take this wonderful little project I am working on of skateboarders matted next to portraits of themselves–I wouldn't think of offering it to no one else–and I sure wouldn't want Jessica, Zooch, Bobby (RIP) or Corey to think I feel that they are "scraps"(by the way isn't the photo of Corey as a little kid really really cute?!) I mean sure some of these photos may have been seen before, but this is a whole new artsy concept so it makes it new, correct? Whatever you do though you have my blessing, I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.

Thank you. –Rodzilla 64

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Atomic Number: 24 Name: Mollerium Synonym: Christian Bojsen-Moller Symbol: CBm Atomic weight: 157.6 Discovery: Marin Exposure Limits: Ledges & street gaps Health Factors: Ghetto Booty Slang

Words and photos: Matt Patterson

Nose grind to pop out on the escalator.

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Description: Christian is one of the best street skaters in Marin. He does a lot of tech tricks over big gaps. He gets broke a lot. His whole lower back is just a multitude of scars. He likes hip-hop and says things like "It's hella fresh Dude." Despite his verbal handicap, the guy can skate.

Christian has no car which means he takes the bus everywhere. It is pretty cool, because he has the whole schedule dialed. When he isn't skating he spends his time working at the skateshop showing little kids how to tighten their trucks.

Someone's got to do it.

360 flip over the stairs at the library gap first skated by Ray Simmons in Shakle Me Not

Krooked grind on the new hubba ledge. He was the first one to skate it.

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Atomic Number: 52 Name: Nortonium Synonym: James Norton Symbol: Jn Atomic weight: 144.4 Discovery: Marin Exposure Limits: Ledges & street gaps Health Factors: Driver’s back and anger management issues.

James has a love/hate relationship with his skateboard. Full blown tantrums, board goes flying, he curses it, grabs his stuff and just skates away. Nevertheless he reappears the next day, apologizes to his board and anyone who witnessed his crybaby stints, then proceeds to kill it. Lately, James has started showing up to Colin’s ramp in full brown outfits. This might mean that he has joined some fascist skinhead group, but more likely has something to do with the fact that he now works at UPS. Sometimes he has to deliver packages to Matt Field and other notable pro skaters, which gives him a legitimate reason to ask for their autograph.

Anyway, if James shows up at your door one day say “Hi” and give him a tip he deserves it.

Ollie over construction sign.

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FS Ollie Nosebone at Colin’s ramp.

Words and photos: Matt Patterson

Kickflip 5-0 in SF 69

sually I start off these little art deals with an intro, like some synopsis in 50 words or less about the person. This time I’m just gonna let the interview speak for itself, wait, was that is a an intro. Fuck I blew it. Anyways, Grime radical dude, fo rizzle dizzle. –LC

U

How long have you been in San Francisco?

I’ve been here since ‘96.

Where are you from originally?

I grew up in a small town in Colorado called Grand Junction.

Tell me about Grand Junction.

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It’s cool if you’re like a white redneck, I supa pose, you know that’s pretty tight. If you’re of jock it’s probably decent, I guess you’re kind forced to be a jock because there wasn’t really for anything else to choose from, it was easy people who wanted to be that. Skateboarders and punks that was a whole different story.

So you started skating as a kid in Colorado, what was there to skate?

Fucking cows and shit man, like fucking Natas ollies fucking cows I was ollieing sheep and shit, you know, that was how we do it. Nah, like fuck, I couldn’t even ollie then, we were all Natas is the shit, gonz is god, what the fuck?

When did you start skateboarding?

The summer of ‘77.

Tell me about your dad’s skateboard company.

My dad had a company called Triton Skateboards, they were made for about a year and a half, from ‘77 to ‘78. My dad doesn’t have a single god damned artifact from that I company, not even a shirt. I remember when was a kid he used to have these baseball jersey er I shirts with the logo on it and I rememb called him a couple years ago like, “hey man and you got that shirt still?” and he looked said he didn’t have anything and I was like,

a god, you fucking loser. Anyway, Triton was company that he ran with another guy and half a and year a they were only around for because of two things: One was that his partner ripped him off and two was the liability insurance on the product. Back then if somebody was riding your product and fell they ard could sue the person who made the skatebo or something like that, because skateboarding was turning into this thing that people weren’t t just cruising down the sidewalk. So he couldn’ afford it and his company died, I think that that at out dying skateboarding was kind of point too. I don’t know, I was 5 so I wasn’t that of heavy into the scene, I didn’t have posters Alva, I had posters of Superman.

How old were you when you got to the west

coast?

Fuck I don’t know. I’m old as fuck, so I guess I was just old. I was pretty old but not old as fuck. Nah, I guess I was 24, but I moved to San Jose first, for like 5 months.

Is that when you started working for New Skool tattoo?

Exactly... you got tabs on me? You got files?

Don’t pull files on me...

We’re fuckin professionals dude, Concussion... How was New Skool?

this

is

New Skool was great, those guys are awesom e

they gave me an opportunity to work in the Bay Area. They were just really great guys, it was a blast, I would have stayed longer but I got a job opportunity working with a guy that was a mentor of mine to a degree and someone that I always looked up to in tattooin g and I couldn’t pass it up so I had to move to San Francisco, to work for Mark Pachec o at Primal Urge. That was August of ‘96.

So then you went from working for Mark Pacheco to working for Ed Hardy?

Yah, that was cool but I had a year off in between where I just traveled the world and made tats and worked with a bunch of fuckin’ really great people and tattooists. I worked

with all these great tattooers, made a bunch of friends, had a great time, published a book about my travels and then I came back to work for Ed and that was awesome. I’m really thankful to Ed as well for giving me a job and the opportunity to spend time with him and learn the things that I did from him. Just to be around him because he’s a great guy and he’s so unique in the world, let alone the world of tattooing.

How much influence do you think Ed had on how you do tattoos now?

He definitely had a good influence on me. I guess, in ways that aren’t direct, he’s influenced most U.S. tattooers, in many ways.

He

brought the custom only tattoo arena to the states, as well as the appointment only tattoo studio. He’s the guy that imported these ideas from Japan. Fuck man, that’s no small feat, that’s some envelope pushing. He was so far ahead he was behind us.

Fuck tattooing let’s talk about skatebo arding again?

Skates forever man.

Favorite skateboard graphic ever?

Oh, you fucker.....Natas Kaupas Which Natas Kaupas?

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Probably his second pro model with Kevin Ancell’s original art and somebody’s palm leaves added on afterward. That’s it, favorite skateboard graphic ever.

When did you decide you wanted to be a fine artist?

I’m not a fine artist, so I don’t think I ever did.

When did you start painting with brushes?

I started painting with brushes and doing acrylic bullshits–I don’t paint with oils because I’m pretty inefficient with it. Acrylic paintings man, I would say I started about 5 or 6 years ago. I’ve been putting in some work with that and watercoloring like the last 3 years.

Does painting with brushes differ from tattoo design from a creative stand point?

The question should be “how does it differ?” not “does it differ?”, ‘cause otherwise I could just say yes. Yes and no questions are taboo dawg, because you say “What do you think about this?”, and I say “Yes”, and then you say “What about this,” and I say “No,” and then your interview sucks.

really get to exercise because I don’t want to do those tattoos and later go, fuck man! It didn’t work like I wanted it to, but I wanted to do that and what that tells me is that painting is an arena for me that I can take certain liberties and experiment in.

years it’s been custom only tattoos, and that means everything I do I draw, you should see the boxes of drawings at my house.

And then there's a whole other facet for you, with graffiti, how long have you been writing?

There’s no answer to that. Some people don’t need to try the custom tattoo arena because their illustration skills don’t really allow them too. They’re not proficient enough and they would be better suited to just do flash, because the designs are there. They’re really good designs if they’re getting a good flash and a lot those guys that can’t draw the best can put on some of the best tattoos out there, but they don’t have the most fuckin’ envelope-pushing drawings or whatever. It’s better they do flash than to give poorly drawn tattoos, nobody wants to see that. Then there’s some people that can draw their ass off and for some reason their drawings don’t translate in tattoos. There are people that can draw circles around me and for some reason their tattoos don’t make the jump.

Their tattoos don’t have the visual impact, they don’t look that good, they don’t have the technical part down and some them don’t understand that it needs to be a tattoo first and foremost. Like their stuff will look like something out of a comic book, fuck that. This is tattoos man, this isn’t your high school doodles. So, whatever, maybe it’s me, maybe it’s a little sour grapes, because I devoted a huge part of my life to this shit, ten years of my life really feverishly dedicated to tattooing. So I’m at the other end of the spectrum and not everyone’s gonna be like that, and that’s cool because they have to have balance in their life, which is something I had to learn about.

Graffiti really sparked in me, I don’t know.

I’ve always been a little bit of a vandal because I have a tag running in Grand Junction from 1984, I shit you not, I dated that shit, I don’t even know why, it’s even in Def Leopard print cause I was into metal at the time–it was all angular letters it said ‘84, so tight. I went there in ‘98 and it was still running, it was tight. I actually tried to label myself as a graffiti writer in my infancy toy status in 1991.

What artistic sensibilities do you take from graffiti?

I think there’s some things like scale and color senses and design ideas that I hijack from graff. These ideas influence all arenas of my work.

In these 3 arenas you get a chance to see the different scenes (graff, tattoos, fine art) which one would you say you feel most comfortable in?

I’m an idiot, how does it differ?

They differ a lot because my audience changes and I don’t have all this history that I’ve read and been told and heaped upon myself and for some odd reason believed how a tattoo is supposed to be or what it should be or how it should read and what might look good and what kind of doesn’t look good. All these things that are in my head that I rely on when I am drawing for tattoos, I don’t use those when I paint. There are some things that I do use, you know, my artistic senses and composition and some sensibilities but I will do things in painting that I really enjoy, that I know don’t really work in tattooing and I think sometimes I lean more towards those because I don’t get to really ever do that. If I wanna do some weird looking abstract or some, I don’t know, something that wouldn’t look good as a tattoo, I like to do it, because it’s fun and it’s somewhat novel for me. And there are things that I want to do but don’t

Tattoos, because I have the most formula, because I’m the most proficient at tattooing it’s by far the most comfortable for me, because I feel that I could tackle it no matter what. But I’m pretty confident in graff and painting as well, it would be different if there was some retarded painting challenge, like, “OK, all the contestants have to paint a fuckin’ Michael Angelo in oils!”. I’d be like I give up, go fuck yourself. But relatively speaking I’m relatively confident in most things I do. Which is maybe bad, maybe I should try new things so I’m not so cocksure. But I would say I struggle the most painting with a brush, as far as getting the look out of something I want. Graffiti, I’m not necasarrily happy with my pieces a lot, technically speaking I have no problems with it and then with tattoos I feel the most internally successful, but that has to do with how much I do it. I’ve been tattooing for a decade and I tattoo a lot and I draw a lot for tattoos because for like 7 or 8

How many unicorns and tribal bands do you have to do before you get to that status...

Fuck tattoos, back to skating...

Yah, what the fuck, back to skating, we keep getting off the subject.

What’s the worst head injury you ever got skating?

Fuck man, are you kidding? I never hit my head skating. Never had any stitches and sure as fuck never had a concussion, no pun intended.

about just in general, in your life, worst head injury..

When I was a kid in middle school I slipped out of this chair and hit my head on the corner of this brick wall. You know you’re being Mr. Cool leaning back with the front feet of the chair up on a polished floor and then..whoop, it was over, dog. Luckily the brick was painted for like ten generations, so it wasn’t rough and nasty, otherwise I would have ripped half of my scalp off. But instead my pupils were just different sizes and I went to the school nurse and she was like, “Tough shit kid, you got a concussion”, and then she kicked me in the ass. Tt was horrible.

After this question, things stray a bit and Grime says that his friend Alex should be our spokesman, that he is our “nizzle dizzle” and then gives me one of Alex’s Phonejaxx CD’s.

Little did I know then, that Alex should be our “dizzle bizzle” cause that shit is fuckin’ hilarious–some of the funniest crank calls ever. All I will say is “Uh, do you guys have..um...Cannibal Faggots?”. Classic.

Grime has also self-published a book called Two Year Autopsy, it came out a little while back, if you don’t own this you better go out and get it.

We talked about the nightmare that is self publishing. Grime’s advice for any of you out there that would like to publish something yourself is that you better find some good friends and solid hook-ups or you can pretty much forget it or as he said “You gotta know which dicks to pull and how hard to pull’ em”.

Grime tattoos at Art Work Rebels in SF. Good luck getting an appointment with the him, he’s got plenty of work, so you might have to put that Tupac tatty on hold, baby boo. Grime is also down with Seventh Letter who you might remember from Concussions past, can I get a ooooowee, and he has a beautiful girlfriend that makes him comfortable enough to wear pink shirts. Nice.

Thanks for your time Grime.

Love, Concussion Magazine

That was pretty much my best question. What

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San Francisco’s one-and-only True Death Metal Band.

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nfanticide, satan worship, stabbing death, skull fragments, cruel mockery, corpse paint, tumbling bodies, body parts and blood soup, Satan worship, church burnings, burning at the altars of Norse gods of terror. These are a few of the things that make black metal so very, very black.

Take, for instance, the imagery espoused by the only current bayarea band representing the Black Metal aesthetic, Artificium Sanguis. Entering their unholy website is like entering the sweaty nightmares of a catholic-school altar boy: The screen flashes the photos of barbed wire and bloody handprints, intoning the phrases “No Prisoners, No Escapees, No Fucking Hope,” and then pans across a medieval etching of Jesus Christ standing before the dark cosmos with minions of followers. As they kiss his holy feet, a superimposed set of crosshairs aims and shoots. The screen turns red with blood, and the band begins to play.

Let’s take a moment to examine the fates that befell three former members of the band over their three-year existence: Vermathrex annexed on a permanent trip to Creepsylvania,, Vov snatched by the evil Keebler elves, and Glunn deciding to quit the band as an alternative to his own demise at the hands of his own band members. Or so say the current members of Artificium Sanguis, who number among their dominion Doom (bass), Fyist (guitar) and Drakk (vocals). No surprise the band has had to so carefully consider a replacement drummer, after Glüm’s

recent defection to Enslaved. Seems like a dangerous job.

So do these sick fucks walk around all day long, piercing the skulls of infants and planning their next satanic mass? Mais, nón! That brand of foul iniquity has no place in the Bay Area, where, according to Fyst, “Most of the black metal people are geeks! They’re social misfits and are very sincere.” In fact, the members of Artificium Sanguis, when not on stage, hold down jobs like rock-club security or yogabased physical training.

Then why, you ponder, would such nice boys turn over to the dark side? According to Doom, “There’s a horrible abundance of human retardation…black metal heads are more intellectual and philosophical about things…about channeling the dark side and playing evil music.”

And evil indeed is the music of Artificium Sanguis. Like all good black metal, their thunderous riffage is nothing short of scary. From thunderous and slow, to pleading and riff-rarious, theirs is the sound of the dying screams of an evil soul who has committed some great sin—like shooting Jesus through the skull, for instance.

Still, they maintain, when the corpse paint comes off, they’re just regular guys. But try telling that to Jesus. When this reporter attempted to contact Christ for his feelings on the band’s blasphemy, however, he refused to take our calls. According to the Holy Ghost, he was to be out of the office all year. Typical.

Top 100 Essential Metal Albums

by Captain

Dio 25. Holy Diver 26. The Last In Line

Anthrax 1. Spreading the Disease 2. Among the Living Autopsy 3. Severed Survival Bathory 4. Bathory 5. Blood, Fire, Death 6. Hammerheart Black Sabbath 7. Black Sabbath 8. Master’s of Reality 9. Volume 4

Disharmonic Orchestra 27. Expositionprophylaxe

Manowar 56. Fighting The World 57. Metal Kings

Dismember 28. Like An Everflowing Stream

Megadeth 58. Peace Sells, But Who’s Buying?

D.R.I. 29. Three of A Kind

Mercyful Fate 59. Melissa 60. Don’t Break the Oath

Entombed 30. Left Hand Path Exodus 31. Pleasures of the Flesh Extreme Noise Terror 32. Holocaust In Your Head Fates Warning 33. Awaken The Guardian 34. No Exit

Bolt Thrower 10. Realm of Chaos

Flotsam & Jetsam 35. Doomsday for the Deceiver 36. No Place for Disgrace

Candlemass 11. Epicus, Doomicus, Metallicus 12. Nightfall

Forbidden 37. Forbidden Evil

Carcass 13. Reek of Putrefaction 14. Symphonies of Sickness

Godflesh 38. Godflesh 39. Streetcleaner

Carnivore 15. Carnivore 16. Retaliation

GWAR 40. Hello

Celtic Frost 17. Morbid Tales 18. To Mega Therion Cro Mags 19. Age of Quarrel 20. Best Wishes Death 21. Scream Bloody Gore 22. Leprosy Death Angel 23. The Ultraviolence 24. Frolic Through the Park

Hellhammer 41. Apocalyptic Raids Helloween 42. Walls of Jericho/Judas 43. Keeper of the Seven Keys Pt 1 Iron Maiden 44. Piece of Mind 45. Number of the Beast 46. Powerslave Judas Priest 47. Sad Wings of Destiny 48. British Steel 49. Screaming for Vengeance King Diamond 50. Fatal Portrait 51. Abigail Kreator 52. Pleasure to Kill 53. Terrible Certainty Yngwie Malmsteen 54. Rising Force

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Macabre 55. Grim Reality/Gloom

Metal Church 61. Metal Church Metallica 62. Kill ‘Em All 63. Master of Puppets 64. Ride the Lightning Morbid Angel 65. Altars of Madness

Savatage 83. Hall of The Mountain King Sepultura 84. Beneath The Remains Sick of It All 85. Blood, Sweat, and No Tears Slayer 86. Show No Mercy 87. Hell Awaits 88. Reign In Blood

Napalm Death 66. From Enslavement to Obliteration 67. Harmony Corruption

S.O.D. 89. Speak English Or Die

Nuclear Assault 68. Survive

Sodom 90. In The Sign of Evil

Obituary 69. Slowly We Rot

Terrorizer 91. World Downfall

Overkill 70. Feel the Fire 71. Taking Over

Testament 92. The Legacy 93. New Order

Ozzy Osbourne 72. Blizzard of Ozz Pile Driver 73. Metal Inquisition Possessed 74. Seven Churches Queensryche 75. The Warning 76. Operation Mindcrime Repulsion 77. Horrified Sabbat 78. History of A Time To Come 79. Dreamweaver Sacred Reich 80. Ignorance Saint Vitus 81. Saint Vitus Sanctuary 82. Refuge Denied

Trouble 94. Psalm 9 95. Run To The Light Venom 96. Welcome to Hell VoiVod 97. Dimension Hatross 98. Nothingface W.A.S.P. 99. W.A.S.P. 100.Crimson Idol

hen approached with the job of interviewing Mr. Lombardo, I damn near crapped my little pants.

At the same time–in true Concussion fashion–I was unprepared. So, I opted to hop on the interweb and brush up on my interview victim. Before I did some research I just thought Dave Lombardo was the OG bad-motherfuckin’ drummer from Slayer and that he also played with Fantomas. Well, apparently from what the magic glowing box told me, Dave is a busy guy. He’s touring with Slayer, he’s just finished the third Fantomas album, he’s just finished another album with his other band Grip Incorporated and he’s got two kids. Holy Sh#t! We had a chance to catch up with him in Texas to figure out what’s up with new Fantomas album and how he juggles so much at one time...enjoy. – LC

No, that would just take away from the other songs.

Are you sick of talking about Slayer yet?

It’s great. He’s really great to work for.

Noooo.

Fantomas is just one of so many projects that you are involved with, like Grip Inc. ...

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No? I imagine that anybody that got a chance to talk to you would just want to talk about Slayer.

It seems like the new album is a big departure from the other Fantomas albums because all the other songs were like a minute, two minutes max and this one is 55 minutes.

55 minutes right, but I’m sure that there are some sections of the song that we’ll play that are real reminiscent of the record and when people hear it they’ll go, “oh, that’s from this album”. I’m sure we’ll play some stuff because there’s some stuff that’s more band oriented than the ambient stuff.

How is it working with Mike Patton seeing as he’s the ringleader of this whole concept?

That album is gonna be coming out soon..

I mean, it just makes me wonder if I got an interview through Fantomas. I feel like sometimes maybe the interview should be about Fantomas but I’m noticing that people are kind of just wanting to get a hold of me, know what I mean? So they’ll go to Slayer and when that doesn’t work, they’ll go to Fantomas or Grip Inc., there’s just a lot of little areas that people can get a hold of me, which is cool. So whatever you want to talk about or bring up is cool.

The new Grip Inc. .. how’s that band going?

How’s the Slayer tour going right now?

No, actually we didn’t have any time to jam, you know, we did a rehearsal at the studio. Which is basically how things have been working, I get a tape and I learn it and I rehearse for maybe a week or so and go into the studio. Although the Fantomas stuff wasn’t like that, we had more time to rehearse and the Slayer stuff we kind of rehearsed but the Grip Incorporated was like I went into the studio and started recording right then and there.

Really good.

I read somewhere that Slayer isn’t the type of band that hangs out and jams together, that those guys will make a song and send you a recording.

Yah, that’s the way we did it. That’s the way we did songs before, Kerry and Jeff would go into there own world and come up with a guitar rhythm and I’m left to add my style and my feeling at the end.

I used to work at this vitamin factory, in the shipping department, and my manager was this crazy dude that would wear half shirts and tell stories about how he would sit all alone in his room on acid and listen to Slayer. It seems like some Slayer fans are just nuts sometimes, what’s the craziest Slayer fan you ever encountered?

I mean it was during a time when I wasn’t in the band, I saw some guy in one of their videos cutting or like engraving the slayer logo into his arm. I think that’s pretty crazy, I wouldn’t do that but I guess some people would.

Tell me about the new Fantomas album.

Oh man, it’s amazing. It’s one song and it goes through this whole..um..it’s..wow, I can’t even compare it to anything because there is nothing that’s quite like it but it’s this one song and it goes through all these movements in a very Fantomas way. It’s just amazing, the structuring, the songwriting, the melodies, just everything is phenomenal.

I heard it’s 55 minutes long.

Yes it is.

You guys gonna play that live?

and I have two plates on the right side of my face, I broke my cheek bone. I had a zygomatic fracture and you know I cracked the side of my skull and I had a full-fledged concussion, I had a cat scan though and there was no blood in the head or anything, so it was all basically external.

Gnarly. So new Fantomas coming out, new Grip Incorporated coming out, anything else?

I have another one that’s just now being worked on. It’s DJ Spooky and myself, like a collaboration of, you know a dj/drummer kind of thing. Kind of Lombardo meets hip hop.

It seems like where as a lot of musicians want to put themselves in a box or category, it sounds like you are real open to

Really good, I love what they’ve done and what we recorded in Germany. I can’t wait for that album to come out.

Would you say that Grip Inc. as a band is closer to your heart than some projects because you guys can jam together more?

What’s the key to balancing so many projects and a family as well?

Scheduling and cooperation from everybody.

Everybody has been real up front with the schedule and there’s been no surprises. Everything has just been going smooth...so far. I’m always afraid that things are going to snowball into a predicament..but that shouldn’t happen because everything is up front.

What bands inspire you to play music?

I think it goes beyond that, it goes back to when I was a little kid being into music period. Just music being around you, and you just get influenced by all of it, you start liking music and then you start playing drums and then you go to play with a band like Slayer and then here I am today.

What’s the worst head injury you ever had?

You gotta be kidding me.

This magazine is called Concussion, man. We gotta know.

Unbelievable. Well, about 7 months ago I was riding motocross at Dumont Dunes in California and I went off a “razorback” which is a big sand dune with no other side. I just dropped and I blacked out in mid-air because I didn’t expect it and next thing you know my head slammed into the crossbar of the motorcycle

try anything.

Yah, I enjoy everything, well, there’s a few of them out there that i really don’t enjoy listening to, that I can’t really call out off the top of my head but for the most part I enjoy listening to a wide variety of music and I always seem to interpret things my way and I feel like that’s just an artistic thing. Each album to me is like a painting to an artist, you know, it’s from the same artist but there is different colors and stuff like that. It’s something that I yearn for, it’s something I like to do and it doesn’t matter where it’s from.

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ehind the carefully drawn and decidedly un-scary corpse paint of one Schäffer the Darklord hides a young, fair-skinned indie rocker who goes by the far less doomy name of Mark Schaffer. I used to know him back in the halcyon days of the Iowa City indie-rock scene as the ubiquitous dork who worked at the video store and always had a skateboard or cymbal or noise record tucked under his arm.

Now I see him around just as much in San Francisco, up on its glorious, hip, crumbling stages, drumming the fuck out of the audience with Bottled Og or experi-noise impresarios Burmese. Or under that clownish corpsepaint as Schäffer the Darklord, a.k.a. S.T.D., the world’s only heavy metal comedian.

And I am so goddamn stoked.

I am Schäffer The Darklord, says be-makeupped Mark Schaffer, never batting a black eyelid, Not quite yet deceased/ My name is this large ‘cause I’ve been touched by the beast/ And my opinions make minions of crowds that bow down before me/ Abbreviatin’, like Satan, my name down to S.T.D. S.T.D. turns his homemade Halloween cape with a studded wrist to show the audience his personalized metalwear, namely a giant S.T.D. stenciled on his back. He then continues to spit, in his Iowa white-boy manner, a series of the fucking funniest rhymes you’ve ever heard over a loop of black-metal samples and wailing chorus.

Speaking of fucking, one his best numbers is an account of what Schäffer The Darklord would do if he could create his own clones in the inevitable post-apocalyptic sex drought: Once untrained, unsupervised and alone/

B

I’m gonna fuck my clone/…

Even though he’s a guy and although I’m not gay/ I’m so vain/ I’ll be fuckin’ my own clone all day/…

It’s a hard-core Darklord gang-bang/…

“Rap metal sucks,” rails a ranking member of the San Francisco metal underground. “Schaffer the Darklord is a joke,” he continues, reflecting the attitudes of many metal scenesters. S.T.D. found a fat dose of animosity when playing the San Francisco metal club Lucifer’s Hammer one fateful Tuesday night. Since that time, members of metal chatboards far and wide have taken shots at S,T,D.’s “poseur”-ness.

“Rap metal and Nü metal suck,” says Mark Schaffer during our interview, echoing the words of his would-be detractors. “I’m just a clown in a cape up there. It’s a goofy act. I’d rather see people get worked up and heckle me anyway.” In my book, anyone who “poses” as a Hot-Topic-outfitted, sexobsessed A/V club dork with a simultaneous love of black metal and hip-hop is no poseur at all. He’s just an extremely talented guy who likes to make people laugh really, really hard. Or maybe that’s just the Iowa in me.

And after one year of comedy-black-metal (perhaps the genre should be called BROWN metal?) under his cape, Schäffer The Darklord’s really running with it. “As metal goes through these phases of popularity and fad, it loses integrity and becomes shittier and shittier. And then it inspires people to create more challenging music.” To be sure, rap metal has created a gaping hole in the world of quality metal that demands to be addressed. For S.T.D., now’s the time. “Metal has a subculture all its own and I’m taking this opportunity to harvest part of its aesthetic—the funny part.”

Kreper Trucks: Krepershow The Anti-Video I don’t know anyone who rides Kreper trucks. So I figured the dvd would be suck. But it’s actually good. They do a cool comic book theme, and there’s some quality skits. It looks like a lot of work went into those skits. So rather than review the skating in this video, I’m going to review the skits.

Kyle Haggerty is featured dead by a river. I found that unnerving, because before I even saw this video I threatened to kill Kyle and dump his body by the river. We were all ready to kill Kyle the night of Lee’s contraption party after he slit the tires on the stolen car we were trying to ditch, making it next to impossible to roll the thing away. For someone who wears a fuzzy bear hat he sure fucks shit up. Daniel “PeeWee” Monkress has a skit featuring elder abuse. Now, there is nothing funny about elder abuse. Ask convicted elder abusers. I was once given a tour of San Quentin, and a guard told me they had to separate elder abuse convicts from the other inmates. The reason was that other inmates despised elder abusers, and would target these guys. So Pee Wee, if you’re reading, the lesson here is that you should quit your elder abuse tendencies. Because if you’re ever convicted and sent to prison, you can count on the fact that your fellow inmates will stretch your bunghole to unheard of proportions in a vicious gang rape, and then stick you with so many shanks that you bleed a slow, painful death – far more painful than all the slams you took on that ollie into the Sunset strip car wash bank. Dave Reul’s skit features saucy chicks dressed in saucy devil outfits. Reul always has an entourage of saucy chicks. This year at the Strawberry Bowl Bash he shared a one bedroom room with two Bud Lite girls and a leopard skin blanket. So Dave’s cowboy/booze/devil chick skit is fitting. Besides which he does really long frontside 5050s in pools. I can’t remember Chris Swanson’s skit, but I’m sure it has to do with him drinking beer. In fact, his part isn’t really a skit, or even a skate part — it’s more like a Budweiser commercial. He has a beer in hand on almost every trick that he does. If it’s not in his hand, it will be sitting on the steps by the long-ass handrail he just smith grinded, or it will be on the love seat of the pool he just ollie-smithed on.

There’s some other guys in this video, but they didn’t have skits. But for the next video, I think Brigham Edwards should have a skit with Jacob Tillman about their missing teeth. And Ryan Carpenter, well he shouldn’t have a skit, they should just show him skating Ripon more. And then there could be a skit where the whole Kreper team goes to New Orleans and screams at people. That would be cool.

Oh wait, that was in this video.

So in summary, this is a good skit video. Also, it has skateboarding, which is good as well.

Slam City Uncensored Tits, Chicks, Slits and Hot Pants Slam City Uncensored is pretty classic. The subtitle, “Tits, Chicks, Slits and Hot Pants” pretty much says it all, although to be totally accurate they don’t show any slits and I don’t remember too many pairs of hot pants either. But it’s definitely some saucy shit with plenty of chicks and tits, what one might label “skater soft porn” under the very thinly veiled guise of a skate video. Starring the versatile Rene Rene, who easily shifts from rapper to skater to pimp to stoner, Slam City Uncensored examines the party scene surrounding the annual Slam City Jam contest. Or put another way, these guys paid a few strippers to whore around in tight clothes (or during some scenes, no clothes) and interview skaters about sex and weed. In addition they managed to get some footage of young girls at the contest flashing their tits, as well as a bit of other miscellaneous amateur soft porn . There is also some footage from the actual contest, but it is generally superfluous.

The only actual decent skate footage is from the Hastings Bowl the weekend of the contest, and is actually rather amusing, with Rene Rene MCing the event and giving out money for tricks.

That’s as far as the skateboarding goes, about five minutes, while the remainder of the time the camera is perving out on young girls, strippers, and Rene Rene. On another level this film can be seen as a somewhat depressing Rene Rene documentary. One gets a glimpse of his life, riding around on Canadian public transportation, smoking a lot of weed, rapping, not skateboarding very much, and hitting on chicks. It’s really rather bizarre and if it was edited differently could be a whole different film. But let’s not kid ourselves here, you don’t give a shit about Rene Rene, or skateboarding for that matter. You want to see some chicks flash their tits, some lesbian bathtub make-out scenes, and some perve footage from the contest. And that’s what this flick delivers.

They try and interview some of the female skaters, but it’s pretty obvious that most of them are not into being seen as sluts or sex objects, at least not on camera. Overall this is a very entertaining “documentary”, and some of you younger fellows who don’t have access to actual females or proper porn might find yourselves hitting the rewind button and spanking it. As of press time they didn’t have US distribution, but you can see some clips and order it from slamcityuncensored.com.

Team Pain Remember VHS In case you don’t know, Team Pain has been building famous ramps for years. Apparently they also build skateparks, but ramps seem to be their forte. They built the Animal Chin ramp, Bob Burnquest’s ramp, the DC super ramp, the wooden loops, and most of the contest ramps. They recently released this video, which is supposed to be sort of an overview of the things they built. It’s called “Remember.”

The main thing I remember about this video are the loop attempts. This is by far the best part of the video. People eat serious shit on those things. I don’t know how those guys at Tampa lived through that shit. Brian Schaffer should be dead after the slam he took. Some other things I remember about this video is Danny Way jumping out of the helicopter into the DC super ramp, the Swatch Evil Kenevil type long jump, old footage of the Animal Chin ramp, and some random X-game type of contest footage. There’s some other things I don’t really remember too well, like some footage at

mediocre looking skateparks, some heavy metal band, and Jackass-esque stunts. I can do without that stuff. But I could watch those loop slams all day…

Dithers Upper Playground I caught a sneak preview of the Dithers DVD about 6 months ago and was pretty blown away by the concept. I sat for over an hour and only caught small clips of about 4 of the 30 artists showcased on this double-sided DVD. I knew this was going to be a monster when it was finally finished. Well now it is. Dithers is brought to you by the FIFTY24SF Gallery (San Francisco) and Upper Playground, and shows most of the featured artists in their own environment while they’re doing their damn thing and living their day-to-day lives. Some of the interviews run a little too long, especially if they’re really boring people (there’s a couple of them, but that’s what the right-arrow button on your remote is for, dumbass). Some of the artists featured include Bigfoot, Sam Flores, David Choe, Jeremy Fish, Tiffany Bozic, Andy Jenkins, Andy Mueller, Andy Howell, Shepard Fairey, Dave Kinsey, Dr. Revolt and Zephyr. That’s what you might call an “impressive line-up”.

The Dithers bonus DVD includes eight studio visits with artists such as Dalek, Seen, Kostas, and Quick by the one and only Ricky Powell. Let’s just all be happy that the Rickster shoots photos instead of video for a living. He described his shooting style for the studio visits as, “unorthodox, avant-garde with a bohemian twist”. I call it a headache (except when he’s filming Puerto Rican girls from across the street), but you wouldn’t expect any different from the author of Oh Snap!, especially if you’ve ever caught his public access show, “Rappin with the Rickster”.

Overall, director Reid van Renesse did a great job with such a huge project. Dithers puts a face to some of the artists and art you see everyday. Sometimes that’s a bad thing, but that’s a personal opinion…which I have a lot of. Your ass will hurt if you sit through the whole thing, but you can jump around from chapter to chapter and avoid the pain and suffering on your bum. This is a great DVD to own for a lazy Saturday afternoon. Gangsta CJ says, “Dithers is an intimate account of today’s urban artists, from the streets to the galleries.”…and that’s a direct quote, bitches.

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Here at Concussion we realize that there are many promotions and offers designed to get you to subscribe to magazines. Offers like free CDs, free shirts, free videos or DVDs, 25% off escorts in your area–it’s all been done. But who has given away a free gray cat before? No one, that’s who. And now Concussion is pleased to bring you another first. All subscribers who tear out this page and send it in with their subscription order will be entered in a drawing to win a small gray cat*. And who doesn’t want a small gray cat? Isn’t he cute? His name is Cuddles, although you are free to change it once you win him.

Cuddles has had his first round of shots and has been de-wormed, but he needs to be fixed. See page 96 for more details on subscribing. And good luck. *One small gray cat will be awarded to eligible winner. Food, litter box and cat toys not included. Odds of winning depend on number of entrants. See official rules for details. No purchase necessary to enter, see concussion.org for entry form. Employees of Concussion Magazine and their immediate families are not eligible to win a small gray cat. Winner will be notified by certified mail.

Metal Record Reviews Much like the Top 100 we published, this is most definitely not the end-all definitive metal album record review section, but it’s a start. Opinions are like assholes. And while we are metalheads, we’re not nerdy enough to compile a decent list. If we were a music magazine maybe we could pull it off. But anyway, METAL UP YOUR ASS! The Accused The Return Of... Martha Splatterhead NastyMix Records, 1986 To this day, not many people are aware of The Accused and their impact on the metal scene. They were a standout band that created their own style of music called Splatter Rock. The lyrics are very macabre, always dealing with Satan and corpses and gore. Some of the greatest screams I’ve heard in music came from these guys, who got together in early-‘80s Seattle. All of their albums are good in my book, but this is the album that caught my attention as a kid. I was so crazy about the way they wrote “The Accused” that when I was in school I’d draw their logo on everything. Blaine “Fart” Cook was the singer for the infamous Seattle hardcore unit-The Fartz. His vocals are perfect for the growl and thrash of this band. This was a band that usually even scared my friends that liked thrash, but there’s such a heaping amount of satanic punk that it usually throws everybody off a little. The Accused would cover AM radio hits and make them their own. They’ve got four full-length albums out there, and each is a shiny gem of gore, growl and grimace with great artwork on every release. This is truly hard, thrashy, satanic punk. You just can’t go wrong with anything they dared to put out. Seek to Worship. —SickBoy Anthrax Among The Living Megaforce/Isla, 1987 Two sides of metal mastery. Taking the title from Stephen King is a good start; totally bitchin’ cover art doesn’t hurt either. “Among The Living,” “Caught In a Mosh,” “I Am The Law,” “Indians,” “N.F.L.”, most of Anthrax’s gems are found on this album. Complex syncopated beats, necksnapping riffs, powerful bass playing (the invisible “glue” that holds all this chaos together), and classic metal singing/lyrics that stop just short of too far. —MDSPB Blind Illusion The Sane Asylum MFN, 1988 Psychedelic Thrash Metal out of SF/Berkeley featuring none other than Les Claypool (who soon after left to start Primus), and Larry Lalonde, ex guitarist of Possessed. I witnessed Blind Illusion perform at Berkley Square several times in the late 80s, along with another 25 people. They were an amazing band to see live.

The musicianship is incredible with classic style Yngwie Malmsteen sent to Hell on LSD guitar workmanship, accompanied by all-star bass funk-thrash master Les Claypool. The music is speed-thrash metal, yet stoney and psychedelic at the same time. If you can find this CD, I highly recommend it. I still have the same one I bought in ’88 which I think was the first year CDs became readily available. This album is due to be re-released by vocalist/guitarist Mark Biederman as well as their never released second album also featuring Claypool and Lalonde. —J. Hay Cattle Decapitation To Serve Man Metal Blade, 2002 Unholy fuck, Jesus wrecking ball of Satan, furious banshee whores raped by Big Foot eating rocks and glass.

Bleeding ears, torn limbs, surgically symbolic exact placement of entrails. Empty eye sockets, Halloween is gay, 88

tooth transplanting death metal that will kill until the fucking shit fury is done.

No corpse paint here, buddy. You’ll probably hate it, bitch. —SIKYBLADERBEATER Death Angel The Ultra-Violence Enigma/Restless Records, 1986 Death Angel are the most unheard-of ripping thrash metal band that ever existed. This album is purely amazing—an essential milestone of underground thrash-speed metal. Sharp, heavy, technical and inventive guitar solos with heavy riffing power chords are joined with singer, Mark Osegueda’s incredible vocal range of guttural growls and shrieks that shatter windows. Songs like “Evil Priests” and “Mistress of Pain” have you head-banging and screaming along, while the 10-minute-long speed-metal instrumental (unheard of) will leave you speechless. I started listening to Death Angel when I was fourteen (the same age as their drummer at the time) and I can still remember the words to almost all of their songs.

Death Angel’s glory ended, much like Metallica’s, when their tour bus crashed and one of the members was critically injured. In Death Angel’s case it wasn’t fatal, but unfortunately, it was enough to kill the band. I am so pissed off while I’m writing this because I realize that no one has heard of Death Angel. Get a clue, metal lovers!

There is no more good music on the horizon. It’s time to turn back to the old. Just like classic rock is more popular now than it was back in the 70s, Speed Metal must have a rebirth and be celebrated. The Ultra-Violence: one of the best speed metal album ever. –J. Hay D.R.I. Crossover Metal Blade, 1987 Dirty! Rotten!

Imbeciles! Who hasn’t heard of this band? You? If so, then you have a lot to learn. This was it: a band staking their claim to the metal/thrash throne. Whatever the case, they crossed over in the end, but they still managed to kick ass and matter to skaters worldwide. Celtic Warrior Defeat? Never! Victory Forever! From the depths of Ireland—the green and black mixed together—D.R.I. was quick to mix political views into their gut-wrenching metal guitar licks. From songs about child molesters and giving them what they deserve to Celtic Pride anthems, they did it all with a new, un-p.c. edge. —Casper Hirax Raging Violence Metal Blade, 1985 This album is the first one of three that Hirax released on Metal Blade. They are solid thrash/metal straight from L.A. They gained a name for themselves by touring San Francisco and Arizona and opening for some of the biggest names in the punk/metal/thrash genre. Recently, Spazz became popular and they brought Hirax back to the people, and it was apparent that they learned a few lessons during their time in the scene. In 1988, Hirax were invited to the Balboa theater. Not to play, but as guests. Mike Muir of Suicidal Tendencies had invited them. When they arrived to see the show, Mike walked them through the back door right onto the stage. When Hirax appeared, all the kids started chanting, “HIRAX,HIRAX,HIRAX!”— that’s the kind of influence I’m talking about here. The lead singer of the band, Katon DePena, is the man behind one of the greatest labels to come from the underground, Junk Records: the label that helped bring the punk back to the punks. Next thing you know, he was releasing bands like the River City Rapists, Electric Frankenstien, Candy Snatchers, Jakkpot, The Bullys, and more. The label went under, as does anything worth a fuck. So now Hirax is reformed with original members and (hopefully) gearing up for more sounds of mayhem. If you don’t know Hirax, then get out there and learn. Thank

You Katon ! —SickBoy Iron Maiden Iron Maiden EMI Records, 1980 Pure raw metal prowess and originality from the best metal band in the world: the mighty and diabolical Iron Maiden. They generated the iron swell, which formed into the NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal) after the fall of bands like Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. I first got into Iron Maiden when I was 8 in 1982. My brother bought Number of the Beast at the record shop in England where we lived. He bought it for the cover and it changed our lives. Who knows what would have happened if we hadn’t been introduced to heavy metal. The artwork on Iron Maiden albums is the best. I spent hours and days redrawing Iron Maiden album covers in pencil. Iron Maiden even have their own realdead Mascot, Eddie T. Head who comes out on stage and does scary stuff. Each album Eddie is a different scary monster. The first two Iron Maiden albums didn’t have Bruce Dickenson (world champion fencer) and opera styled Heavy Metal singer. Instead they featured a gruffer, slightly more sinister, Paul Diano who left after Killers, Maiden’s second release. These first two albums happen to be my favorite two Iron Maiden releases. They definitely have a different style, but each of these subsequent releases are also absolutely MUST haves for any metal fan: Number of the Beast, Piece of Mind, Powerslave, and lastly, Live After Death, their double LP Live album/greatest hits. Iron Maiden still tour 23 years later. If you haven’t heard the first of the best, you need to. It might just change your life as well. –J. Hay Iron Maiden Number of the Beast EMI Records, 1982 This was the first LP that I ever bought. I got it a WH Smith because I thought the cover was cool. If you ask me, this is Maiden’s best record (or at least tied with Killers), and the only one with both Clive Burr and Bruce Dickinson on the same LP. Every song is great, but standout tracks are “Children of the Damned”, “Hallowed Be Thy Name”, and the title track.

A classic metal record. — Dekay Judas Priest Stained Class/Hell Bent For Leather Columbia Records, 1978/1979 The two best Priest records. This is them at their peak.

Stained Class starts out with the classic “Exciter” - “fall to your knees and repent if you please,” you also get “Better

By You Better Than Me” (the one that landed them in court for the barely audible “do it” whispered in their chorus, when some kid tried to blow his brains out after listening to it), and some of the best rock solos ever in the epic, “Beyond The Realms Of Death”. To me “Hell Bent For Leather” as a whole isn’t quite as good as “Stained Class”, but the standout tracks and homoeroticism of certain tracks make it almost as good or maybe even just as good.

The classic title track and “Running Wild” are the highlights for me, along with the beautiful (and one of the best ever) rock ballads “Before the Dawn”. “The rocking Evening Star” and Fleetwood Mac cover, “The Green Manalishi with the Two Pronged Crown” kick ass too. And listening to tracks such as “Delivering the Goods” and “Evil Fantasies”, can’t help but conjure up images of sweaty men wearing leather chaps fucking in the back of a dark smoky bar.

Now I could go on about “Sin After Sin”, “British Steel”, and “Sad Wings of Destiny”, but in the interest of space, i’ll leave it at this. —Dekay

The Mentors/El Duce You Axed For It! Metal Blade, 1985 Eat Fuck! “Rubbin’ and’ oozin’ an’ maxxin’, squirtin’ it right in her face, she’s the biggest slut in the whole damn place” - Mentors. Now with lyrics like that, how could you not love The Mentors? As far as I can tell this is one of those bands that no one could ever recreate. And we all

surely miss the hell out of lead singer El Duce. It started out as a threepiece: El Duce on drums and vocals, Dr. Heathen Scum on bass, and Sickie Wifebeater on guitar. Eventually, though, El Duce quit the drums and just sang. I really believe to this day that Courtney “the cunt” Love had El Duce iced.

His last interview in Flipside Magazine was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. There was always an ongoing fight with most real metallers and the pretty girl-looking metallers, and El Duce fueled the fire with his many songs mocking those floppy-haired glam rockers. El Duce has been in more movies, TV shows and talk shows than I could name. This album is listed as their swan song. It has the infamous “Four F Club,” “Sandwich of Love,” and “Herpes Too.” All aspiring perverts should own the entire catalog of Mentors. No one has pushed the bar as far as The Mentors did....NO ONE! —Sickboy Metallica Kill ‘Em All Megaforce, 1983 Metallica here at their rawest. Some people don’t like this one so much compared to Ride The Lightning and Master of Puppets, the only two other great Metallica records (And Justice For All is good but not great), but in my opinion this is just as good. Definitely not as polished as Ride or Master, but to me that’s part of what makes it so good. Stripped down metal, but still powerful as fuck with some hardcore/punk influences slipping through in some songs. Another classic metal record.

—Dekay Metallica Master of Puppets Elektra/Asylum Records, 1986 Experience dictates perception, and my experience with Master of Puppets reaches back to The Ranch Ramp days in South Boulder, Colorado, where winter meant garage mini-ramp sessions. Even more distinctly, the Ranch had this over-arching aspect of derelicts and debauchery fused somehow into cohesive, agile(ish) rolling elements. You’d be best off without a belt as you could be yanked back to the doldrums of waiting had someone out-snaked you. And you’d be stoked if you dropped in and only three of you had to battle it out...

Master of Puppets is synonymous with that place, The Ranch. For me, skateboarding has a soundtrack, and Master of Puppets litters the bill. Almost every track has references to death, pain, or self-destruction... it’s great.

Quite the soundtrack to accompany the pain-inducing activity we like to call skateboarding. But, lyrics aside, the fucking shit rocks! Seriously, even if you don’t like metal, I bet you’d like this. I wasn’t exposed to this album until 1997 - nine years after its release. Even after that lag and having had other Metallica albums, I never connected to those as succinctly as this album. Now, hours and hours of skate carnage, moments of glory, pain, and joy are compiled into the files of my mind as I reminisce with this quintessential masterpiece of metal. —Sarah Drexler Motley Crue Shout at The Devil Elektra, 1983 This is the album that put me on the metal path. I was nine years old and on a trip to Virginia to visit my uncle. My older cousin pulled this out of his bag.

“Ever heard this, Matt?” he asked. “I don’t think so…” I trailed off as I got lost in the artwork of this obviously demonic slab of vinyl. A black–on–black pentagram graced the front cover, and four leather-clad, makeup-faced dudes graced the back. Opening the gatefold, I discovered a wall of fire and more images of these crazy guys. Mick Mars was scarier than any monster movie I had seen. The guy is a ripping guitar player, but man, what a scary looking guy. “In The Beginning” starts the album off with a little scare (though, after time, it sounds pretty silly), setting the listener up for “Shout at The Devil.” “Looks That Kill” is an instant classic as well, and I remember thinking that the video was the coolest. After watching it again more recently, however, I realized that it’s pretty silly. The song still

kicks ass, though. Mick Mars, while not the flashiest guitar player around, has an excellent way of using dissonance to full effect – one of metal’s defining characteristics. In fact, the “power chord” (chord formation that makes up 90% of the metal and punk we love so much) has the Latin name “diabolus en musica”, or “Devil in Music”. This album will pump up any party, and should be owned by all. —MDSPB Motley Crue Too Fast For Love Elektra, 1982 This album is close to being just a hard rock album. Musically, it’s heavy and aggressive, but still very rock and roll based.

One look at the cover art, however, and you can tell you’re dealing with a metal band. Pentagrams, fire, leather, gothic candelabras, skulls and swords, smoke/fog, and the devil horns – all the trappings are there. “Live Wire,” “Come On and Dance” and “Starry Eyes” are certified gems. — MDSPB Motorhead Ace of Spades Earmark, 1980 Motorhead is one of the most influential bands in rock today—metal, punk, whatever. They sound kinda like Black Sabbath, but is so fueled with speed that it seems like they have been up for months in a meth lab breaking down guitar riffs and trying to find a way to kick your ass into the next era! I ran into to Lemmy (lead singer) at an Agent Orange show. The only thing I could say to the guy was “you fucking rock!” He looked at me and said with a smirk, “I know I rock.” Cocky fucking English bastard! But you know, he does fucking rock and that’s all there is to say. Actually, many things can be said about Motorhead. If you’re a fan of punk or metal, they (Motorhead) blur the lines as to where punk begins and metal ends. Motorhead just happened to be the first to blur those lines. —Casper

Ozzy Osbourne Blizzard of Ozz CBS, 1981 This is unquestionably the best solo Ozzy album, with the possible exception of “Tribute,” which is basically this album live. The reason? Randy Rhodes.

Ozzy is a legend, but he needs the right musical backdrop to truly shine. The classic Sabbath songs wouldn’t be anything special if it wasn’t for Tony, Geezer, and Bill holding it down so thoroughly. On Blizzard, it’s almost like Ozzy is backing up Randy. His guitar playing was so far beyond the others at the time – he seamlessly melded classical, blues, and special effect pyrotechnics to create a whole new style of guitar playing. Everyone knows (and loves) “Crazy Train”, and for good reason. “Mr. Crowley” and “I Don’t Know” are heavy classics as well. There’s even “Dee,” Randy’s little classical ditty, to cleanse the palate between tracks. — MDSPB Ozzy Osbourne Talk of the Devil (UK) Jet Records, 1982 Recorded live at the Ritz, New York in 1982, Talk of The Devil is one of the most influential heavy metal records to be melted out of depths of hell. With Sabbath classic’s like, “Symptom of the Universe”, “Sweet Leaf”, “N.I.B.”, “Fairies Wear Boots”, “War Pigs”, “The Wizard”, “Iron Man”, “Paranoid” and “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath”, what you end of with is a Black Sabbath/Ozzy greatest hits double LP LIVE! Ozzy is the master – an untouchable. This release must be in the hands of any metal head. Please go buy it, tape it, burn it, just get it, listen, and worship. (Speak of the Devil is the US release). — J. Hay

Slayer Reign In Blood/South of Heaven Def Jam, 1986/1988 All Slayer albums are worth having. They have not made a bad record. Some are definitely better than others, but even the “worst” one is ten times better than 99% of the music out there. I really like Haunting the Chapel and Show No Mercy, as their early stuff is more blatantly “metal.” Slayer was clearly ahead of their time; their riffs were harder, more evil, and faster than anyone else, and nobody else was so blatantly Satanic in their approach. By Reign In Blood, however, they had become something more than metal. If a band like, say, Scorpions can be called “metal,” then I don’t quite feel comfortable using the same word for Slayer. They are beyond metal; they’re just…Slayer!

That said, these two albums most distinctly capture the musical annihilation that is Slayer. Reign in Blood takes the raging metal of their earlier releases and hones it into a finely tuned metallic massacre machine. It also features “Raining Blood,” which (after extensive discussion with my metal-loving comrades) is the Best Slayer Song Ever. It starts slow and creepy, builds up to a stomp, harmonizes, erupts into solo, then finally increases in intensity until it explodes with its own power. Do you understand? It’s so heavy that it dies from its own sword, if you will. South of Heaven is a turning-point album for many Slayer fans. The old guard will sneer, saying it’s too slow, and not heavy enough. It’s definitely the start of a slightly different sound for Slayer, but I will defend its heaviness.

“Silent Scream,” “Behind The Crooked Cross,” “Ghosts of War,” and the title track are some of the heaviest songs ever, and by being a little slower, it’s easier to make out the lyrics, which only increase its diabolic nature. They also cover “Dissident Aggressor” by Judas Priest, and make it one of the gnarliest songs ever. If you claim to like metal, then you should have numerous Slayer albums in your collection. Best Metal band ever. —MDSPB S.O.D. Speak English or Die Megaforce Records, 1985 Anytime I’m talking about hardcore, I’m thinking of Billy Milano. The lead singer of both S.O.D. and M.O.D. is a master of metalish mayhem. S.O.D. cross the line between metal/punk/hardcore. If anybody blurred those lines it was this band. The lyrics were always truthful, humorous, offensive, and satanic. What more could you ask for? These guys hailed from New York, and includes half of Anthrax in its lineup. You got Charlie Benante, drums (Anthrax); Scott Ian, guitar (Anthrax); Dan Liker, bass (Nuclear Assault, Brutal Truth, Anthrax, The Ravenous, Holy Moses); Billy Milano, vocals (M.O.D.). I was crazy about this album and all those involved with it. I pursued Billy into M.O.D. and the other guys into Anthrax. To this day all of these guys know how to mosh you into a pulp. The title holds more weight today than it did then. The humor on this album and all the other things Billy has been involved with is tough guy humor, which many label as bonehead. The fact is if you can’t handle other people’s opinions then you should leave the scene. “It doesn’t matter how you wear your hair, it’s what’s inside your head”- United Forces. A beautiful cover of a Jimi Hendrix riff ends it. A timeless classic. –SickBoy Testament The Legacy Megaforce, 1987 At the pinnacle of 80’s thrash reigned SF’s Testament. They started out where Metallica left off, never to return. With exceptional, powerful vocals and lightning fast bolts of ferocity from the guitars, it’s strange that Testament never made it really big. They had all the vital components of a mega-rock band: scorching Slayer influenced high speed guitar riffing and soloing, a long haired alpha- male who could reach the

growls and the high notes, heavy fast pounding drumming, and an evil logo. I think they struck it big in Europe for a while, during the time that glam rock hit the west coast and left bands like Testament in the dark shadowy corners of the metal scene. They used to be called The Legacy and released an insane Demo called The Legacy, which featured singer, Steve Souza, who would later go on to replace Paul Bailoff from Exodus. The Bay area scene at that time was very incestuous with band members switching from band to band like a moonshine-spiked family reunion in the backwoods of Kentucky. Testament had members from Death, Forbidden (Evil), Slayer, Exodus, White Zombie, and Dark Angel. Their follow up album was worthy as well, The New Order, but after that I don’t know what happened. Perhaps they had a hard time trying to adapt to the glam rock influence on the bay area music scene and folded in an identity crisis. Or maybe they put out another 5 sub-par albums. It didn’t matter to me any more. R.I.P., Testament. You will not be forgotten. –J. Hay Usurper Twilight Dominion Earache, 2003 Well like a typical lazy Hesh, I wanted to review Usurper’s album when it was first released, but I thought you would get a better review if I listened to it throughout the year while consuming Funions, Mountain Dew, and hella mek tokes. Well fuck, its killer dude! I’m saying it’s their best one yet. Straight leather and spike metal with power beatings. They hold the feel of 80’s metal so sacred its sick, although I thought I heard a blast beat in there which is nice because it keeps their recipe churning. Oh yeah, they grunt like crazy....UNGH!!!!! —SIKYBLADERBEATER Venom Black Metal Metal-Is Records, 1982 These are the actual guys that coined the genre Black Metal.

Cronos, the leader of the Venom Legions, is the only original member through and through. But even with shiny new players in the scope of the music, the Venom sound is always dark and dangerous. They hail from Newcastle, England and formed in 1979. They were the most satanic band that I knew of as a youth, and influenced a new wave of American dark metal including bands like the almighty Slayer.

What’s up with all the lakes on those Venom album covers anyway? All true Nordic Metal should have lakes and swords on the album covers. I heard about the guy from Burzum escaping prison in Norway. I guess he was apprehended today with an arsenal in his car. Those Norwegian Metallers aren’t fuckin’ around. So the Venom black metal legacy of evil lives on. If you’re not familiar with them then I’d get to gettin’. This album will convert all non-believers. VENOM now and forever the KINGS OF BLACK METAL. — SickBoy Vio-lence Eternal Nightmare MCA/Mechanic Records, 1988 The speed metal days of the late 80s were my hay day. I’d get a ride to the city from one of my brother’s friends or my brother. They were old enough to drive, so off we went to speed metal shows at The Stone on Broadway in SF or the Omni on Shattuck in Berkeley. I was 13 and the speed metal scene was at its strongest. Evolving out of bands like Megadeth, Metallica, and Exodus were Death Angel, Demented, Testament and Vio-lence. Bay area speed metal at its finest.

I always remember before I had ever heard of Vio-

lence, people walking around at Death Angel shows with Vio-lence t-shirts. It was the VIO- on top, with LENCE on the bottom, with bricks in the background. I used to draw that logo on my notebooks in high school and make iron-on t-shirts because we didn’t know how else to get one. Vio-lence were the climax of the speed metal scene before glam rock took over and weekends of moshing (before your mom knew what it meant) and getting totally thrashed in the pit were coming to an end.

Bands like Faster Pussycat, Poison and LA Guns would take over the billboards and speed metal either morphed into some kind of hard-metal-glam-rock or vanished from the face of the earth to smoke meth and creep and crawl into the depths of the suburban nightmare as glitz and sparkles, hairspray and lipstick replaced the torn jean and leather Jersey stoner metal head. Vio-lence were among the best with their piercing vocals about Serial Killers, Snipers and Paraplegics. The song, “Paraplegic” was banned from their debut album but remains on their Demo 88 and forever in my mind.

Eternal Nightmare was an essential part of any speedthrash metal fans collection. Vio-lence were original speed metal. They weren’t biting anyone’s style, just creating their own guitar driven high speed, tweaked harmonic, uncontrollably energetic speed thrash. Vio-lence played songs that would stick in your head and force you to know the words to sing along to every song, if you had the breath. Forgotten heroes of the late 80’s Bay Area speed metal thrash days! – J. Hay Vital Remains Dechristianize Olympic Recordings, 2003 Yeah that dude from Deicide, Glen Benton, sings or whatever on this album, but who cares. This crew is ballistic. I don’t know how far into hell they were called from. Maybe they are truly undead fledglings of Lucifer, cursed with the world of the living, only to explain themselves in a sporadic puzzle of songs. Each cut is over six minutes long. Intense fluctuations between high-speed peaks and breakdowns reveal some classic sounding solos (they layered some acoustic in this bitch too). The drums don’t stop ever, it’s like they built a death metal Rubik’s Cube that they can only reassemble. Yeah a Rubik’s Cube. Ha-ha, go to Hell. Best shit this year. —Dick Burns Hank Williams III / SuperJoint Ritual A Lethal Dose Of American Hatred Sanctuary Records/2003 This is the future of the Metal scene. I’ve seen Hank III live and he can shred through the majority of the Metal bands out there himself. So when you bring the following players: Phil Anselmo, Jimmy Bower, Kevin Bond, and Joe Fazzio, you get a SUPERGROUP. They engage in the Superjoint Ritual quite often. The premise for the music is violence, personal struggle, and smoking the weed. I just can’t say enough good about Hank III. I’ve always liked his family’s style, then he comes along and starts in a whole different direction. Half of his show was country/country rock and then he took a break. When he came back out, after taking some bong rips, his hair was down in his face and he ripped straight into the hard shit. He can flow between thrash, hardcore, and speed metal with great ease. The first release by this band was titled, Use Once and Destroy. It was released in 2002, Hank III was not on that record. This is why I speak of the future of it all. Soon you will hear the name Superjoint Ritual. So remember, you heard it here first.

I would have to label this Power Stoner sludge. Good amping and bongin’ tunes. Enjoy. —SickBoy

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Oh man, that is a gross swellbow. Jeff Budro (above) looks kind of stoked, though. I guess it’s not everyday that you have a sack of pus hanging off your elbow. Slice that open and put it on some toast! The x-ray of Max Dolberg’s hand (right) isn’t quite as interesting though, at least compared to that swellbow, how can anything compare to that? Wade Speyer (below) was killing at the Tim Brauch Vans contest. And this year he actually stuck around for the contest. He should’ve won. I mean sure he can’t do 100 tricks like Benji can, but what he lacks in depth of tricks he makes up in speed and style. Here he is pictured shooting his board so high that it broke one of the fluroescent lights 30 feet above the bowl. Been a while since Davoud has made the slam pages. Here he demonstrates how not to go over the steps. What a retard.

Sequences by Amell.

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Once dubbed the "next big thing" in skateboarding, Jacob Tillman couldn't handle the spotlight and freaked out. The never ending world tours, constant smorgasbord of sluts and the un-ending pressure to place first in the big comps finally took it's toll on JT and he freaked the fuck out. Some say he became a cult leader in Canada, others claim he went to France to become an artist, even more claim he was pistol whipping people for change in front of Round Table. Where he was didn't matter; the fact was this superstar was over skateboarding and swore to never ride again. Until he heard of the best thing to happen to skateboarding since Vicodin and Pabst–the Vertical Smile. We are overjoyed to introduce Jacob "Summer Teeth" Tillman as our first pro.

Welcome back to society, ripper.

Only available through FYA (Fuck Your Ass) Distribution 415-822-7190 ext 20 or vertsmile@comcast.net 95

Rock some merchandise dude. It will make you cool and you’ll get chicks. Unless you wear it over to the Thrasher offices, and then you’ll get vibed by Jake.

Oh wait, you’ll probably get vibed by Jake anyway.

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CAUTION: CONCUSSION PRESENTS THE DAMAGED SPECIAL EDITION DVD. WE’VE PUT BOTH OF OUR BONE CRUSHING VIDEOS DAMAGED, AND THE OUT OF PRINT AMNESIA - INTO ONE DVD. WE’VE ADDED ENOUGH BONUS FEATURES AND OTHER HIDDEN GOODIES TO KEEP YOUR EARS RINGING AND YOUR HEAD SPINNING FOR SOME TIME. SO ORDER TODAY... OR TOMORROW. $25 DIRECT FROM US, SHIPPING INCLUDED. SEE OUR MERCH PAGE ON PG. 96 OR CONCUSSION.ORG FOR COMPLETE INFORMATION.