Connect savannah february 11, 2015 by Connect Savannah

lion sandwiches, 10 | Irish festival, 20 | go home horny with savannah sweet tease! 24 | naughty valentine's day fun, 26 Feb 11-17, 2015 news, arts & Entertainment weekly connectsavannah.com

Book Festival:

Patton Oswalt on Satire, Movies, and Southern literature

‘You’re either all in or all out when it comes to freedom of speech’ By Jim Morekis | 30

100+ BANDS | 3 DAYS

FEB 11-17, 2015

PHOTO (C) GEOFF L. JOHNSON

PASSES & SCHEDULE AVAILABLE @ SAVANNAHSTOPOVER.COM

An Evening with Dawes sunday, march 22 at 7pm trustees theater

The Wailers

tuesday, march 31 at 8:30pm trustees theater

Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors Friday, april 3 at 8:30pm ships oF the sea north garden

March 19–april 4, 2015

Proud sPonsor of the 2015 savannah Music festivaL

savannahmusicfestival.org box office: 912.525.5050

Major funding for the Savannah Music Festival is provided by the City of Savannah’s Department of Cultural Affairs, Gulfstream Aerospace Corp., National Endowment for the Arts, Wet Willie’s Management Corp., Connect Savannah, Critz Auto Group, Visit Savannah, Savannah Morning News & Savannah Magazine, Memorial Health/Mercer University School of Medicine, Georgia Council for the Arts, Georgia Public Broadcasting, HunterMaclean, The Kennickell Group, Savannah College of Art & Design, Ships of the Sea Maritime Museum, WSAV and XFiNiTy

FEB 11-17, 2015

Additional shows on sale now!

Week At A Glance

compiled by Rachael Flora | happenings@connectsavannah.com Week At A Glance is Connect Savannah’s listing of events in the coming week. If you want an event listed, email WAG@ connectsavannah.com. Include specific dates, time, locations with addresses, cost and a contact number. Deadline for inclusion is 5pm Friday, to appear in next Wednesday’s edition.

thu / sat francophone film festival Wednesday / 11 2015 State of the City Address

Mayor Edna Jackson delivers the State of the City address. The public is encouraged to attend. 7 p.m The Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave.

Film: Black Heat

Black Heat is one of the lost "Black exploitation" films of the 1970s that was no doubt chuckle-inducing back in its time, but when viewed through today's perspective, it's a laugh-out-loud misfire of overused cliches, ridiculous "jive talk," bellbottom slacks and vintage porno filmcaliber funk music. Due to the graphic subject matter, it is recommended for mature viewers only. 8 p.m The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. $6

FEB 11-17, 2015

Lecture: Pía Barros

Award-winning Chilean author PÃia Barros is known worldwide for her dedication to human rights and her belief in the power of literature and the arts to bring about social change. She will discuss her latest work, a series of short story anthologies designed to raise awareness about violence against women and children in her native Chile. The lecture will be delivered in Spanish accompanied by an English transcription. 12-1:30 p.m Armstrong State University, 11935 Abercorn St.

Thursday / 12 Francophone Film Festival

Armstrong's French Club will screen five French-language films covering a wide range of themes and issues. -14 Armstrong State University, 11935 Abercorn St. Free and open to the public 912-344-3374

Georgia History Festival Shuman Cup Cricket Tournament

Come cheer for the teams of the annual colonial cricket tournament for Chatham County elementary schools. Local teams are introduced to the Georgia colony’s favorite sport during this fun and educational experience. Team registration is open to all Savannah-Chatham County Public Schools. 9:30 a.m Shuman Elementary School, 415 Goebel Avenue. Free 912-651-2125. pmeagher@georgiahistory.com. georgiahistory.com/events/shuman-cup-crickettournament/

Savannah Book Festival: An Evening with Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich is the beloved author of more than 20 consecutive #1 New York Times bestsellers. With more than 75 million books sold in more than 27 languages, Evanovich is the most successful female mystery novelist in the world. 6 p.m Trustees Theater, 216 East Broughton St. $15

Science on Tap

This monthly event is designed to share scientific knowledge about a specific topic in a fun way. This week's topic is The Science of Thomas Edison, and Armstrong professor of chemistry Richard Wallace will present the information. 6 p.m Savannah Coffee Roasters, 215 West Liberty Street.

Theatre: Godspell

A musical retelling of the Gospel according to St. Matthew presented by the Savannah Community Theatre. 7:30 p.m. Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $20 912-247-4644

A World In Crisis: America's Place As A Great Power The Savannah Council on World Affairs presents this lecture by William H. Bellamy, a professor of international relations and adviser to the Africa Program at CSIS. He will discuss how the millennium has changed America's place as a global superpower and what the country needs to accomplish to regain its place after an inevitable redistribution of global power. 8 p.m Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. $10

Friday / 13 Francophone Film Festival

Armstrong's French Club will screen five French-language films covering a wide range of themes and issues. Feb. 12-14 Armstrong State University, 11935 Abercorn St. Free and open to the public 912-344-3374

Potable Gold: Savannah's Madeira Tradition

Experience the historic atmosphere of the Davenport House while learning about and tasting Madeira, a unique and flavorful wine. There will also be a dinner party and the chance to explore off-limits spaces of the house at dusk. The performance requires that guests be able to walk up and down stairs and maneuver in the candlelit rooms. Participants must be 21 years of age. Reservations are recommended, as attendance is limited. 5:30 p.m. Davenport House, 324 East State St. $20 912-238-8097. davenporthousemuseum.org

Savannah Book Festival: An Evening with P.J. O'Rourke

If you’ve listened to NPR’s Wait! Wait, Don’t Tell Me! at any point, you’ve heard the biting wit of P. J. O’Rourke. 6 p.m Trustees Theater, 216 East Broughton St. $15

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The Savannah Irish Festival

The festival begins on Friday night at Columbus Hall with a traditional Ceili, where those who attend will be taught Irish folk dancing in large groups. The festival continues through the weekend with four stages of live entertainment, dance, food, crafts, culture and fun for all ages. 6:30-11:30 p.m The Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $5-$16 800-351-7469. savannahirish.org/

Theatre: Godspell

A musical retelling of the Gospel according to St. Matthew presented by the Savannah Community Theatre. 7:30 p.m. Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $20 912-247-4644

Saturday / 14

Bonaventure After Hours: Stories, Nightfall & More!

Savannah's only after-hours cemetery event, in this riverside Victorian cemetery. 5-8 p.m. Bonaventure Cemetery, 330 Bonaventure Rd. $35 912-319-5600. info@bonaventurecemetery.com

Concert: California Guitar Trio

The universe of guitar knows no boundaries for The California Guitar Trio. Since 1991, the group has enthralled listeners with a singular sound that fearlessly crisscrosses genres. The trioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s questing spirit drives it to explore the intersections between rock, jazz, classical, and world music. It even throws in the occasional surf or spaghetti Western tune for good measure. Mars Theatre, 109 S. Laurel Street. $20-$25 cgtrio.com

Concert: Velvet Caravan

Velvet Caravan combines gypsy, honkytonk, swing and Latin for a unique Valentine's Day show. 4 p.m Unitarian Universalist Church of Savannah, 313 Harris St. $15 advance, $20 at door uusavannah.org

Explore the Night Sky

Your Wilderness Southeast sky interpreter will meet you at a spot beyond the city limits where you can sit comfortably and hear the stories of the stars. You'll learn about black holes and the expanding universe and use an eight-inch reflector telescope. Dependent on a clear sky; cloudy nights will be rescheduled, if possible, or else canceled with full refund. Tour size 4-20

people. Call 912-236-8115 or email naturesavannah@gmail.com for specific directions. Reservations required. 6:30-8:30 p.m Savannah National Wildlife Refuge, Laurel Hill Wildlife Drive off S.C. 170. $55 912-236-8115. naturesavannah@gmail.com

Forsyth Farmers Market

Local and regional produce, honey, meat, dairy, pasta, baked goods and other delights. Rain or shine. 9 a.m.-1 p.m Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Free to attend. Items for sale. 912-484-0279. forsythfarmersmarket.com

Francophone Film Festival

Free Admission Day

Explore the fun and history of Fort Pulaski for free. Feb. 14-16 Fort Pulaski, US Highway 80 E. 912-786-5787 ext. 114

Georgia History Festival: Trustees Gala

A Night of Love With Fellowship of Love

In search of the right place to take your Valentine? Look no further than Jazz'd Tapas, where Fellowship of Love is the entertainment for the night. 9 p.m.-12:30 a.m Jazz'd Tapas Bar, 52 Barnard St. 912-236-7777. laikenlovesings@gmail.com.

Old Time Country Dance

Savannah Folk Music Society presents this dance with music by Glow In The Dark. 7:30 p.m Notre Dame Academy, 1709 Bull St.

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FEB 11-17, 2015

week at a Glance |

continued from previous page

Potable Gold: Savannah's Madeira Tradition

Experience the historic atmosphere of the Davenport House while learning about and tasting Madeira, a unique and flavorful wine. There will also be a dinner party and the chance to explore offlimits spaces of the house at dusk. The performance requires that guests be able to walk up and down stairs and maneuver in the candlelit rooms. Participants must be 21 years of age. Reservations are recommended, as attendance is limited. 5:30 p.m. Davenport House, 324 East State St. $20 912-238-8097. davenporthousemuseum.org

all weekend godspell Savannah Book Festival

Savannah Bazaar

Come be a part of Savannah's creative community with artists vending their work, live music and poetry, food and drink, and kids' events. Ampersand, 36 MLK Jr. Blvd. savannahbazaar@gmail.com

FEB 11-17, 2015

Fade to Red Scattered Sun Belgian Hoplinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; IPA Moonlight Drive

per person

Theatre: Godspell

A musical retelling of the Gospel according The festival begins on Friday night at to St. Matthew presented by the Savannah Columbus Hall with a traditional Ceili, Community Theatre. where those who attend will be taught Irish 7:30 p.m. and 2:30 p.m.

Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $20 912-247-4644

Tybee Mardi Gras Street Party and Parade

Pay homage to the tradition of Mardi Gras and enjoy fun, family-friendly events dating back to the ancient Romans and carried on today. Tybee will be decked-out in purple, gold and green and party-goers will enjoy lively parade, music entertainment, lavish costumes, fun contests, Cajun

Wednesday, February 25th 6:30 PM

Jesse Blanco

The Savannah Irish Festival

folk dancing in large groups. The festival continues through the weekend with four stages of live entertainment, dance, food, crafts, culture and fun for all ages. 10:15 a.m.-7 p.m Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $5-$16 800-351-7469. savannahirish.org/

FOUR BEERS & FOUR COURSES

CELEBRITY GUEST

BEER MENU

This year's festival takes place in Telfair, Wright and Chippewa Squares, and authors include Pat Conroy, John Katzenbach, Mary Alice Monroe, Karen Abbott, Patton Oswalt, Mary Kay Andrews, Michael Harris and Linda Sickler. 9 a.m.-5 p.m Downtown Savannah, free.

DINNER MENU

Cajun-style crawfish, shrimp & pork boudin sausage Warm-roasted endive salad w/ poached pears & warm goat cheese Sesame crusted seared white tuna w/ blood orange/grapefruit glaze Coffee stout blondie w/ salted caramel top & whisky mascarpone icing

RSVP: 912-644-7172

Fiddlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crab House

131 West River Street Savannah, GA

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Concert: V

The Coastal Jazz Association presents this concert by "V," a quintet comprised of local jazz musicians. 5 p.m Johnny Harris Restaurant, 1651 East Victory Dr. $20 coastaljazz.org

An Evening with Garrison Keillor

True to his radio form, Keillor delivers hilarious anecdotes about growing up in the American Midwest and the aging process, not to mention late-life fatherhood. 7 p.m Johnny Mercer Theatre, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $35-$65

Film: Jackie Brown

This installation of the Florence's "Movies and Meatballs" series consists of Quentin Tarantino's films. 6:30 p.m The Florence, 1 West Victory.

Savannah Book Festival: An Afternoon with Anne and Christopher Rice

The dark beauty, troubled history and mystical aura of her native New Orleans have fueled the imagination of Anne Rice, author of 30 books, spanning supernatural fiction, erotica, memoir and spiritual exploration. Her son Christopher joins her for this conversation. 3 p.m Trustees Theater, 216 East Broughton St. $15

The Savannah Irish Festival

The festival begins on Friday night at Columbus Hall with a traditional Ceili, where those who attend will be taught Irish folk dancing in large groups. The festival continues through the weekend with four stages of live entertainment, dance, food, crafts, culture and fun for all ages. 12-5 p.m Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $5-$16 800-351-7469. savannahirish.org/

Savannah is at a crossroads, with one foot planted in the past and another reaching towards the future. What will Savannah's future look like? The Port City Cultural Alliance asks and answers these questions in this collaborative event series. 7 p.m The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. Free

20 15

Monday Means Community

stiva e F l h s

Tuesday / 17 Guided Tours of Savannah

Massie Heritage Center offers guided evening tours of Savannah with special emphasis on the city's African American heritage. 5 p.m Massie Heritage Center, 207 East Gordon St. $15 912-395-5070

Tongue: Open Mouth & Music Show hosted by Calvin Thomas

Music, poetry and spoken word on the first and third Tuesdays of the month. third Tuesday of every month, 7-10 p.m Savannah Coffee Roasters, 215 West Liberty Street. Free and open to the public. 912-238-2426. lori@savannahroasters.com. savannahcoffee.com

Wednesday / 18 Georgia History Festival: Georgia Day Parade

Students, musicians, local dignitaries, and costumed historical figures march through Savannah's historic squares during this annual event. Broadcast at noon on WSAV3 and livestreaming at WSAV.com. 10:30 a.m Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St.

va n

C c n a h Ci vi

Saturday 14th • 10am - 7:30pm Sunday 15th • 12pm - 6pm 1-Day $12 • 2-Days $16 • 14 & Under FREE FREE SUNDAY WITH ID Active Duty Military & Family • College Students

Welcome to the State of Poverty

This poverty simulation is a learning experience designed to help people better understand poverty and requires groups of 35 to 75 people to assume the roles of families living in poverty. Their goal is to survive for one "month" and is open to anyone interested. Registration required. 1-3:30 p.m The Savannah Civic Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. 912-401-0672. jjohnson@stepupsavannah.org. stepupsavannah.org

Friday Night Ceili

Friday, February 13 • 6:30PM • $5 Knights of Columbus • 3 West Liberty Street

Media Sponsors

SavannahIrish.org

FEB 11-17, 2015

Sunday / 15

Monday / 16

h a n n a v a S uary 1 r b e F 4 •1

This 2 hour cruise includes a premium buffet dinner, live entertainment, bottle of house wine or champagne, fresh-cut rose bouquet, take home keepsake and dancing! Boarding at 6 pm, sailing from 7-9 pm. Advanced reservations are required. 6-9 p.m Savannah Riverboat Cruises, 9 East River Street. $189.90 per couple 912.232.6404. info@savannahriverboat.com. savannahriverboat.com/

A musical retelling of the Gospel according to St. Matthew presented by the Savannah Community Theatre. 3 p.m. Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $20 912-247-4644

ter

Valentine's Day Cruise

Theatre: Godspell

cuisine and much more. noon Tybee Roundabout, Tybrisa Street and Strand Avenue.

Iri

week at a Glance |

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editor’s note

The rumble that roared The 2 a.m. street brawl after Super Bowl Sunday prompted Corey Walters of Riverview, Florida to tell police he and his girlfriend were viciously attacked “for LAST FRIDAY was an sport,” which police later said constituted a unusual day in downtown false report based on surveillance footage Savannah. proving Walters instigated the fracas. The same day TV The whole hubbub was an almost cameras surrounded identical rerun of a 2014 incident on River former police Chief Street involving tourists from the Atlanta Willie Lovett as he area who said they were attacked, and who was sentenced were later charged with filing a false report to prison on based on video. federal charges, new police Chief Joseph Then as now, a police chief—in that case Lumpkin discussed a different set of Acting Chief Julie Tolbert—held a news charges in front of the cameras. conference urged in part by local tourism Flanking Lumpkin at the podium was officials to publicize the charges against the a collection of the best and the brightest tourists, supposedly to reassure tourists. local minds in the Savannah tourism and To “send a message.” But to whom? business community, steely-eyed with False reports are a serious waste of police resolve. resources and taxpayer money, and I don’t Like Liam Neeson on the phone with mean to trivialize them. Lying to police is a kidnapper, Downtown Neighborhood always a terrible idea. Association member and Broughton And while these fights did indeed business owner Ruel Joyner grimly occur and the reports weren’t completely intoned to a news camera, “We will come fabricated, I have no particular grounds after you.” to question police assessment of the Yikes! Someone’s in big trouble. Who surveillance footage in either case. or what are we coming after with such But I’ve long questioned how making a determination? very big, very public deal out of charging What crisis could have motivated all tourists with false crime reports is these important people to stand side by supposed to somehow reassure other side with the police chief to issue such a tourists it’s OK to come here. Seems like dire warning? The many recidivist violent offenders our that sends the exact opposite message. In cases that don’t happen to involve legal system can’t seem to keep behind bars tourism, police rightly go out of their way for their full sentences? to encourage people to come forward with The issue of every third Savannah resident living at or below the poverty line? as much information as possible. The need for more citizen cooperation The danger of becoming increasingly and involvement is understandably a dependent on the low-wage service and running theme of most every other police retail jobs inherent in a tourism-driven news conference here. economy? So I do question the true target audience The poor educational system which for these types of charges and of these impacts the quality of the workforce types of news conferences. available to these business owners? And I wonder what’s actually going to The need to adhere to fair regulatory practices so there will still be room for local come out of this after the cameras are off. Given the inability of our prisons to businesses downtown? hold many of the criminals already in them Embezzlement and dysfunction in the for anything close to their full sentences, local court system? and given this police department’s critical Maybe Lovett himself, as an example of the continuing need to root out corruption personnel shortage, I question whether the long arm of the law is really going to in the police department? reach all the way to Hillsborough County, Nope. It was about a fistfight on Bay Florida, to extradite tourists on such a Street. And concerns that Savannah might comparatively minor charge. “look bad” to tourists because of it. by Jim Morekis

jim@connectsavannah.com

Stranger things have happened, and who am I to say? But you have to wonder if it’s the best use of our taxes when there are already so many existing warrants out on local suspects. As for the concerned business leaders at the news conference, seeing how long after the holidays it took to remove the outsized Christmas trees hastily stuffed into the new planters on Broughton Street, I’m not entirely sure they’ll get around to making the six-hour trip to the Tampa/St. Pete area to “come after” anyone, Ninja style. As with just about every news conference these days, someone—in this case Michael Owens of the Tourism Leadership Council—mentioned the Magic Number of the fabled 13 million annual visitors to Savannah. It’s a number which helpfully seems to jump by a more or less even million every year, and which in part drives all kinds of major public policy decisions in this town, from tax rates to building variances to salary hikes for public officials. I’m not sure how they handle these kinds of things in other places heavily dependent on tourism, like Orlando or Myrtle Beach or Gatlinburg, or even Charleston. But I have a hard time believing that tourism officials in those places would make a point of getting their police chief to hold a special news conference about a drunken street affray of the type cops break up probably dozens of times a month. Make no mistake: That’s real power. And someone wants you to know it. I think the target market for this message might not be tourists, or criminals. It might be you. So you’ll remember what side of the bread the butter goes on. Who really runs this little town. In case you forgot. One of Savannah’s small-town selling points is its charm and provincialism. But when the provincialism takes over, the charm can evaporate pretty quickly. As for what really makes us “look bad” to outsiders: What looks worse? False reports about fights in the tourist area, or making such a mountain over such a molehill, when there are so many worse problems that actually do make us “look bad?” cs

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T H E A T R E

Would you eat a Simba sandwich? By Jessica Leigh Lebos jll@connectsavannah.com

SAVANNAH was all about lions last week, and not just because Katy Perry kicked off her sexy Super Bowl halftime spectacle by riding in atop a ginormous feline robot. There was another reason big cats were on everyone’s lips, for some literally: Meat from the Panthera leo species was on the menu at Cohen’s Retreat during Restaurant Week, and it’s caused what can only be referred to—please forgive me—a huge uproar. The Skidaway restaurant received so much negative feedback it took down its Facebook page, and legions of shocked citizens have vowed a boycott. But while many have expressed dismay and disgust, others had no qualms ordering the appetizer, a slider made with farm-raised ground lion meat mixed with pork belly, topped with smoked gouda and served on a warm bun. “Hey, the damn thing would eat me if it could,” shrugged one delighted diner, who described the taste as akin to “really good Kobe beef.” (Some reportedly ate it thinking it was a typo and they’d ordered loin burger. These are probably the same people shunned at the water cooler the next morning for discussing Katy Perry’s loins.) Though a bit shaken from the vitriolic skewering he’s received, Executive Chef Kirk Blaine stands solid with his decision to serve

lion, which he asserts is sourced from a farm in California and approved by the USDA. “We wanted to do something different to draw in the culinarians and epicurious diners,” he says of the special menu, which also included crème brulée thickened with emu egg. “It was an amazing success.” Indeed, Chef Blaine and his kitchen staff plated over a thousand lion sliders, selling out the prix fixe dinners that also serve as a fundraiser and allowing Cohen’s Retreat to make a sizeable donation to Second Harvest Food Bank. Considering the backlash, would he serve it again? “At this point, I would not put it out for the public, but I have had special requests for private lion dinners,” he divulges. Listen, I don’t want to judge. I’m a gal with an adventurous palate and will pretty much eat anything, including giant snails, barbecued rattlesnake and a cherry pie recovered from a Whole Foods dumpster (hey, I was young and poor and it had only been expired for one day!) But lion? First, it’s an apex predator, risky because carnivores carry parasites like trichinosis, grody worms that spiral into your intestines. Then there’s the undisputable majesty of lions, serving for millennia as icons of strength and courage. To eat them just seems…sinful. Which is what makes it attractive, I suppose: It’s a notch on the foodie belt, an assuagement of an epicurean itch. Yet even local gastronomic sage Tim Rutherford, who is kind of like our own

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Andrew Zimmern but a better cook, has his reservations. “Doing what I do, I’ve eaten lots of stuff,” sighs the longtime moderator of the Savannah Foodie newsletter, ticking off armadillo, ostrich and alligator. “Everyone has their own moral compass. Me, I wouldn’t advocate eating lion any more that I would horse, even though horse has been regulated and on menus in Europe for decades. Most of us don’t want to eat things that we have an iconic Disney image of.” Simba aside, let’s examine this from a different standpoint. My apologies to Chef Blaine, who I believe would not knowingly serve anything he didn’t trust was of the highest possible quality, but it does not appear that the USDA inspects or regulates lion meat. After many phone calls and a deep delve into the Food Safety Inspection Service website, I found out that the Federal Meat Inspection Act specifically regulates a dozen types of edible animal flesh. Rare ones like bison and yak fall under the Exotic Animal Inspection directive, for which inspections are voluntary and must be requested, for a fee. But I was not able to track down anything at all applying to the regulation of lion meat. One USDA public affairs specialist even asked me to forward my notes as her department “would be very interested in that information to consider whether investigation is appropriate.” Still, God bless America, lion meat is still legal to serve in all 50 states and has popped up in restaurants all over the country, from burgers in Mesa, AZ to tacos in Tampa, FL. Each time the concerned folks at Big Cat Rescue flood the market with educational materials. “Restaurants will tell you these lions are raised on a farm in California, but nobody knows where these farms actually are,” cautions Susan Bass of BCR, which operates an animal sanctuary in Tampa and picked up on the Cohen’s Retreat dish. Bass believes lions that end up on plates may come from “pay to pet” places like Miami’s Jungle Island, where the public can hold cute cubs for a fee. Those babies eventually grow sharp teeth and claws, and those teenagers must be dispensed with somehow. But again, this is America, and legislation is on the way: The Big Cats and Public Safety Protection Act was recently reintroduced to Congress and would forbid such direct contact between humans and big cats as well as ban their breeding except at accredited zoos and educational facilities. Most folks are surprised to learn that African lions are not considered “threatened” under the Endangered Species Act, but the

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service recently proposed to up their status, which would not only prevent the Hemingways from bringing home their African conquests but also outlaw the domestic sale of lion meat. That’d be bad news for Anshu Paphak, who owns ExoticMeatMarkets.com and sells not only lion stew meat for $500 a pound through his website but also squab, frog legs and flamingo. To my utter shock, I was patched right through to him when I called. Originally from India and a Hindu of the holy Brahmin caste, Anshu told me he forswore his vegetarian upbringing decades ago to become a merchant of the highest quality meat. In spite of some people’s moral objections, demand for exotic flesh is booming, and he sees his business as an affirmation of life’s bounty. “What is ethical and what is unethical?” he asked. “Meat is meat. I am not violating any state or federal laws. I am an animal lover. I am not going to kill anything that is endangered. I am not doing this for publicity, not even for the money. I’m doing it as my passion.” He claims to be the mysterious lion farmer but remained vague about the farm’s actual locale other than it is “near Las Vegas” because he doesn’t want any poachers sniffing around. He acknowledges that the processed meat isn’t inspected but offers DNA testing to show that his lions are domestically raised and certainly aren’t gamey old circus lions or cast-aside teenagers. “I have invited the USDA here many times! I’m willing and ready to pay the fees so I can export all over the world!” he exclaimed, adding that “people buy from me because they trust me.” His other products—beaver hot dogs, anyone?—are processed at USDA-approved facilities, shown explicitly on his Facebook page. When it comes to his lions, Anshu promises they enjoy good lives up until the end. “If you come to my farm, you would see how lovingly how I take care of them. I treat them as VIPs,” he insisted, offering me an open invitation for a farm-to-table lion dinner anytime. I declined, but as usual, I’ve ended up with more questions than answers. Is it fair to vilify a chef for fulfilling the demand of his customers? If Anshu is for real about the self-governed practices of his happy lion farm, does that mean the meat is safe to eat? And just because we can, does that mean we should? All I know is I’m cooking lentils tonight. cs

FEB 11-17, 2015

The (Civil) Society Column |

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Helen Stone’s records show even driving to fundraisers is paid for by the public their endorsement. It was disappointing to see someone exercising such poor judgment. OVER THE past several Furthermore, Commissioner Stone has months, I undertook the sought taxpayer reimbursement for travel task of reviewing the travel that is not permissible under IRS guidereimbursement records of lines and that other county employees can’t the Chatham County request, such as just driving to work. In her Commissioners. case, that would be the commute from her In fairness, I limhome to the County Commission building. ited the scope of my review to the period That 26 mile round-trip journey adds up of January 2012 up to the most available over the years! The total amount of Comrecords available, in this case, May 2014. missioner’s Stone’s personal and political On Thursday, February 5, through Com- travel is $1546.40. mon Cause Georgia, an ethics in governIn exchanging letters with Assistant ment watchdog group, we made the results Chatham County Attorney Jennifer Burns, of these findings public and asked for speCounty Commissioners are supposed to cific County Commissioners to reimburse abide by the same travel policy as all other taxpayers for what we felt were inappropri- county employees. There is no provision for anyone to check ate reimbursements. the appropriateness of what Commissioners We further called on the County Commission to develop a new travel policy that is are submitting and the Chairman is approving. This lack of checks and balances opens transparent, ethical, and adhered to. itself to the type of abuse we are seeing here. Before I delve into the three commissioners whose reimbursements raised the Commissioner Patrick Farrell from the 4th most questions, the most alarming thing District was one of the other Commissionoverall is that there is no budget as it relates ers to have questionable reimbursements, to Chatham County Commissioner travel. albeit lower than Commissioner Stone. In There is no oversight for expenditures other Commissioner Farrell’s case, he didn’t fill out than those of the elected Chairman of the or sign the required county documents, he Commission. simply emailed in the date and mileage of What we found could have been much events he attended and was reimbursed. No worse. We should be thankful that it wasn’t. other county employee would be allowed to I started my review with the Commisget away with this type of request. sioner from the First District, Helen Stone. One of the oddities in his reimburseHaving been involved with politics in the ments is the 69 miles Commissioner Farrell past, I knew Helen, I voted for her when she traveled to attend the annual Tybee Island ran for County Commission the first time, Beach Bum Parade. Another controversial and had spoken up in support of her when meeting in which he claimed mileage related she was unfairly attacked by a radio host. to a meeting with David Simons. In her most recent re-election in 2012, I Commissioner Farrell has hired David did support her opponent because I felt that Simons in the past as his political consul8 years on the Commission was enough— tant, but Mr. Simons is also under investitime for new leadership. gation by the State Ethics Committee for In reviewing Commissioner Stone’s working as a lobbyist without following records, I was alarmed to see that she was state laws that require him to register and asking for taxpayer reimbursement of travel report his activities. related for purely political and personal In either case, county taxpayers picked up events. These events were things such as the tab of Commissioner Farrell attending Republican political fundraisers, charity that meeting. The total amount of Farrell’s galas, and even the travel to her very own questionable reimbursements was $72.96. election night victory party. Then we turn to Commissioner Dean She claimed taxpayer reimbursement for Kicklighter. Commissioner Kicklighter is driving to her fundraisers, and even travel to unique in that he really doesn’t seek reimmeet with a newspaper for an interview for bursement for much of anything, because he By Clint Murphy

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refuses to attend education training related to his job as a County Commissioner. The Association of County Commissioners of Georgia offers an extensive array of educational opportunities such as those addressing public safety, county operations and management, and so forth. Commissioner Kicklighter takes great pride in the fact that he does not attend these events. However, in 2012, Commissioner Kicklighter attended the Leadership Savannah opening retreat on Jekyll Island and sought taxpayer reimbursement. Leadership Savannah is a program sponsored by the Greater Savannah Chamber of Commerce. It’s a worthy program; I myself am an alumnus. However, it’s not a program that supplants the education offered by ACCG. Kicklighter was reimbursed for travel, lodging, and per diem for meals, even though meals were included as part of the retreat. The total cost to taxpayers $358.37. Commissioner Kicklighter claims that he sought advance approval from the county attorney to attend. At the press conference where we announced the findings of our review, Commissioner Kicklighter showed up ready to defend himself. In the files we were provided by the county attorney, there was no record of special approval granted by the county attorney. Commissioner Kicklighter was enraged that given since he had not sought much reimbursement as a Commissioner that he would be included with Stone and Farrell as having abused the policy. What Commissioner Kicklighter fails to see is that there cannot be one policy for him and another policy for all of the other commissioners. There is one policy, by which all commissioners are supposed to operate under, which is the same policy as all other county employees. In Commissioner Kicklighter’s case, I have offered that if he can find a document in which the county attorney gave him approval, our organization will publicly apologize to him for my error. cs Clint Murphy, a former Republican political strategist, is a Savannah Realtor and serves on the Board of Common Cause Georgia.

news & Opinion | environment

Talking with… Megan Derosiers of One Hundred Miles New enviro org is ‘completely dedicated’ to protecting the Georgia coast And Derosiers is the founding director of a new organization, One Hundred Miles, that has nothing less than the entire Georgia coast as its focus area. IF coastal conservation“There isn’t another organization that is ist Megan Derosiers was dedicated to local and state policy advocacy fired up for political pyrothat is completely dedicated to the hundredtechnics when she moved mile Georgia coast,” she says. to Georgia from South Of course, many people from both politiCarolina two years ago, cal parties and more than 250 organizations she got it right off the have put their names toward the order’s bat. repeal. You might remember And more generally, the coast already has the April 2014 Environmental Protection several environmental groups. At the risk Division directive that basically eliminated of offending some by omission, I can name decades of coastal marsh protection in four Riverkeepers, the Georgia Conservancy a sweeping overnight edict. “It did just ‘boom’ happen,” Derosiers says and the Center for a Sustainable Coast as of EPD’s now-infamous “Earth Day Memo.” ones with a coastal presence. “One thing we’re all committed to, all the “There wasn’t any warning.” organizations, is protecting the environDerosiers had been in the state for less than a year when the order stunned environment,” she says. “And we all know the more people we have doing that job, the better.” mentalists. The episode highlights the very Derosiers says One Hundred Miles aims reason why Derosiers moved here in the first place. The memo takes aim at just about to augment, not compete with, the groups every spartina, crab and oyster from Savan- already here. “I really do think of it as a puzzle. And nah to St. Marys. By Orlando Montoya

we’re all a different piece of that puzzle,” she says. “We try really hard not to step on anybody’s toes and communicate very thoroughly with them as to how we can do that.” Apart from their 11-county focus, One Hundred Miles also is a little different because of its relatively large dedicated coastal staff. They employ six people at their main office in Brunswick. Two Savannah staffers are coming. And they hired the marketing veterans at Orange PR & Marketing to handle promotion. I think that’s impressive for an upstart. So what are they doing with their resources? “We need to start focusing not on the justice end of things, on the end where you start cleaning up messes or you fight bad ideas,” Derosiers says. “We won’t have to do that as much as we would if we started working on the front end of things with developers.” She points to an example from her time in Charleston, where she worked for 10 years at the Coastal Conservation League. There, she helped to negotiate a deal that solidified an urban growth boundary—a

limit to development—by compromising with developers. Compromise? For some, that’s a dirty word. Developers? For some, that’s the Eye of Sauron. “Everybody’s a potential partner until they say they’re not going to partner with us,” Derosiers says. “I’m never going to make a judgment about somebody based on a stereotype. I don’t want anybody to do the same to me.” Of course, the folks at One Hundred Miles will have to prove their strategy by winning. And they’ll have to set priorities. I talked with Derosiers on my podcast about some of them, including watershed protection and planning for sea level rise. I would wish her “boom” fast success in these matters. But I don’t know if that’s realistic. “Oh, change happens fast,” she disagrees. “It may feel like the change is incremental, but those increments add up.” cs Hear this and more of Orlando’s podcasts at savannahpodcast.com

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Megan Derosiers of 100 Miles works a few blocks away from the waterfront in Historic Brunswick. But she’s on the road constantly.

News & Opinion | Community

Georgia History Festival: GHS makes history with the induction of two women trustees

Each year, the Georgia Historical Society bestows the honor of Georgia Trustee upon two remarkable state citizens who embody the principle of Non Sibi, Sed Allis, “not for self but for others.” In 2015, the educational and research non-profit organization has made its own history by awarding two living women with the distinction: Paula Wallace, the president and co-founder of the Savannah College of Art and Design, and Alana Shepherd, the founder of the rehabilitative Shepherd Center in Atlanta, will be inducted as Georgia Trustees by Gov. Nathan Deal at GHS’ annual gala on Saturday, Feb, 14. “GHS is pleased to honor Alana Shepherd President Wallace for her contributions to education and art and Mrs. Shepherd for her fierce help preserve Savannah’s historic architecdedication to hope and healing through her tural landscape and drive its creative-based work at the Shepherd Center,” said Laura economy. The designer and author has Garcia-Culler, Executive Vice President orchestrated SCAD’s expansion to Atlanta, and Chief Operating Officer of the Georgia Hong Kong and Lacoste, France as well as Historical Society. “Both are leaders who a fast-growing online learning module, all have impacted the lives of individuals and the while providing students and the public families far beyond Georgia.” myriad opportunities to explore art, film and Wallace accomplishments began with theatre. acquiring a single building for arts educaShepherd saw the need for a comprehention and have flourished as she continues to sive recovery center in the Southeastern U.S.

Paula Wallace after her son sustained a spinal cord injury that paralyzed him from the neck down. In 1975, she leased six beds from an Atlanta hospital and founded the Shepherd Center. Repeatedly ranked as one of the top rehabilitation hospitals in the country, the facility has grown to 152 beds and handles patients with spine and brain injuries as well as other neurological illnesses. Ms. Shepherd has spent 40 years raising funds and supporting Paralympic athletes; her son, James,

continues to serve as the center’s chairman of the Board. The original Georgia Trustees were chartered and appointed by King George II of England in 1732 as a way to recognize the bravery and service of those sent to establish a new colony in North America. GHS reestablished the practice of recognizing outstanding Georgians in 2009. Media magnate Ted Turner, UGA football coach Vince Dooley and Chick-Fil-A founder Truett Cathy have been among the chosen, but so far the prestigious roster has included only one woman: Georgia Trust for Historic Preservation founder Marguerite Neel Williams, who was inducted posthumously in 2009. According to GHS chair Robert Jepson It wasn’t difficult to make the historical decision. “This is not a state made up of just men. There’s some fabulous women in this state who have done incredible things. We didn’t have to look too far to see two that have distinguished themselves,” Jepson told Georgia Trend magazine this month. “They’ve done great things for humanity and Georgians. They couldn’t be better choices.” cs

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By Jan McIntire

FEB 11-17, 2015

Here it comes again – Valentine’s Day. Are you thinking of chocolate, flowers, candy hearts, and romantic cards? If you are, you’re among the very fortunate who have someone in their lives with whom to exchange special tokens of love and happiness. Love is a powerful motivator. Before the first Valentine’s Day observance, in sixth century B.C., Nebuchadnezzar II is said to The special love we express on February 14 doesn’t have to be limited in time or demonstrated with extravagant gifts. Love have built one of the Seven Wonders of the also means taking care of ourselves, reaching out to others, and letting gratitude flow. World – the Hanging Gardens of Babylon And if you’re at a place in your life where – to express his love for his wife who was giving our loved ones a toothache? relationship, surround yourself with posihomesick for the forests and plants of her • First, think about yourself. If your tive people who help you feel comfortable in you need help with your health, relationnative home. first reaction is “that’s selfish,” consider the your own skin. They’re stimulating and fun, ships, parenting, or other life challenge, don’t let yourself sink into silence. Turn to Love on a large scale can be admirable, advice that starts every airline flight: “In and they can help you forget what’s troua friend and ask them to help you find the and certainly the church leaders of the the event of an emergency, oxygen masks bling you. You can do the same for them. help you need and lighten your burden. period around 270. A.D. had a big change will automatically drop. Secure your own • Go outside. Use all your senses. • Keep a gratitude journal. End each in mind when they declared a day in the mask before assisting someone else.” Even Breathe deeply and notice the aromas – or day by writing down something you are middle of February as the time to honor children! It’s good common sense that lack of – in the air. Drink in the scenery grateful for in that moment. You may feel Saint Valentine, even though you’re not much good to othwith your eyes. Look to the horizon as well thankful for the unconditional love of your many people were still practicers if you’re not taking care of as to the small details of a flower. Feel the pet, or for the unexpected phone call from ing pagan rituals. yourself. Taking care of yoursoftness of beach sand or the coolness of a long-time friend. Taking the time to Flash forward to 2015 when self means different things to a fountain’s water. Taste a leaf of grass and acknowledge your feelings of gratitude can, greeting card manufacturers different people, but the basics decide if it’s sweet or sour. Listen for the over time, change your outlook and motiexpect to sell over 150 million of getting enough sleep, eating sound of birds or the breeze in the trees. messages of love and devotion. healthy foods in healthy por• Get creative. When you do something vate you to express thanks for every kindAdd the roses and other gifts, tions, moving your body every new, you’re making new connections among ness. Let the love flow. And that brings us back to Valentine’s and love is big business. day, finding joy, and having a the brain’s neurons. Write a poem, learn to So what about the other 364 Communication sense of purpose – a reason for play the piano, find your singing voice, plant Day. Perhaps this is the year to think outdays of the year? How can we professional Jan living – all set the stage for lov- a garden. Combine your interests with your side of the (chocolate) box and include a few extra people in your circle of love and gratiput a little “sweetness” into our McIntire is CRI Senior ing and being loved. imagination. tude. Have fun on Valentine’s Day, and then lives without the prompt of a Advisor for Outreach • Spend time with your • Give help and ask for help. Talk to anyone who volunteers at a school, hospital, continue the practice by remembering to major observance once a year? and a self-proclaimed friends. Some of your friends express your gratitude throughout the year or any other community organization, and How can we spread love around evangelist for healthy may also be your family, coworkers, neighbors, and other they’ll tell you how good it feels to be a part to those who make your life better, easier, or so that it touches more people living. more complete. The love starts with you! loved ones. Whatever the of making someone else’s life a little better. without hitting our budgets and 15

news & Opinion | blotter 2015 Sav/Chatham County Homicide Total through Sun. Feb. 8:

to 90 months in federal prison, seven and a half years, for his conviction in gambling and extortion charges. He was also fined $50,000. Lovett, 65, resigned in September 2013 as news spread of a sexual harassment allegation against him by a married female officer. The federal charges followed shortly thereafter. He was found guilty in November 2014.

WSAV anchor helps collar PetSmart perp

Plot thickens in Bay Street attack

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Citizens took action “New information Monday night “when a man on the reported attack robbed a pet store, chasing on a Florida couple on the suspect into the middle Bay Street Monday Man killed in house on Barnard; of Victory Drive and holdmorning has Metro roommate says the shooting stemmed ing him for arriving police,” a Police investigatfrom a robbery police department spokespering the possibility of Detectives are investigating the fatal son says. charges against the er shooting of a Savannah man “at a house he Two separate Super Bowl weekend Stephen Bernard Kibler, reported victims,” a Kibl ard Bern hen Step was renovating on Barnard Street near Vic- shootings investigated 44, of an East 39th Street police department tory Drive Friday night,” a police spokesman “Investigations are underway into the address, was charged with spokesperson says. says. shootings of two men in separate incidents robbery by intimidation after Video obtained James Adams, 54, died after being transover the weekend,” police say. grabbing money from a cash register at from a Bay Street business “seems to indiported a hospital following the shooting Ronald Lee Williams, 61, reported he was PetSmart on Victory Drive about 9 p.m. cate that Corey Walters, 38, of Riverview, near Barnard and West 43rd streets. shot in front of his house on the 2000 block “WSAV-TV anchor Russ Riesinger FL., instigated the confrontation that “Central Precinct Patrol officers of Nash Avenue about 3:30 a.m. Sunday was behind the man in the checkout line, required medical treatment for him.” responded to the shooting call at 10:44 p.m. when he looked into a car that had bumped witnessed the robbery and chased Kibler Angel Little, 36, initially told police “the to find the deceased man and his roommate into one belonging to a visitor. “Two males into the median on Victory Drive where couple had been attacked, beaten, kicked in the head and face and robbed by five to six at the residence,” police say. were standing near the cars when he walked he and another bystander held him for police,” the spokesman says. males who left in a maroon sports sedan. “The roommate was interviewed and outside,” police say. “One of the males Chief Joseph H. “Jack” Lumpkin Sr. The video refutes most of the couples’ released early this morning, after telling entered a second car and fired at him as it praised the efforts of Riesinger and the account,” police say. cs police that the victim was robbed by a black drove away. He returned the fire.” unidentified citizen, but he cautioned citimale who fled the scene after shooting the Around 4 p.m. Saturday, Damion Seavictim.” borough, 24,” drove himself to a hospital for zens to make thoughtful, reasonable and All cases from recent local law prudent decisions about becoming physia gunshot wound. He said he was outside enforcement incident reports. Give cally involved in captures. Lovett sentenced to 7.5 years a house on Oleander Avenue when a proanonymous crime tips to Crimestoppers Former Savannah/Chatham Metro Police jectile struck him. Officers were unable to at 912/234-2020 or text CRIMES (274637) Chief Willie C. Lovett was sentenced today establish a crime scene,” police say. using keyword CSTOP2020. (1 solved)

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news & Opinion | The straight dope Iceland and recently approved by Canada, Northern Ireland, and the European parliament, its advocates argue it discourages prostitution and thus minimizes trafficking while sparing prostitutes shame and legal trouble. Critics counter that it’s no substitute for decriminalization, saying it denies women their autonomy and makes prostitution more dangerous by making it more furtive. Yearly Swedish arrest totals have varied wildly—the apparent number of prostitutes may have gone down, but many have likely moved online. Which brings us to the biggest recent development: the growth of the internet escort industry. In the U.S., Germany, the Netherlands—anyplace with decent broadband, basically—prostitutes are leaving even legalized brothels for the online marketplace, where websites list services, connect clients with workers, and provide ratings for both. While this is undoubtedly less safe than the better-run brothels, it does allow prostitutes to work independently without pimps. Escorts report far higher self-esteem and job satisfaction than street prostitutes and brothel workers—on the whole, it seems to be a very different job. Internetbased prostitution will undoubtedly be difficult for governments to keep track of, but it may mean the work can occur more on the workers’ own terms.  Is prostitution a great life? Clearly not for many. Would I want my daughter doing it? Hell no, and I’d rather nobody else’s daughter did it either. But the idea that we’re going to abolish or even seriously control this ancient practice is a harmful illusion. We need to protect the women involved to the extent we can and not just drive them underground. If that means decriminalization plus inspections, licensing, and other bureaucratic accoutrements, spare me the moralizing—that’s what we should do. cs

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makes an already hard life even harder: British and American police still target prostitutes much more often than their clients, without any measurable deterrent effect. Raids on brothels (where 85 percent of workers say they feel safe) push more prostitutes on the streets, where they are more vulnerable to their clients, drugs, and disease. U.S. police and prosecutors regularly use possession of condoms as evidence of prostitution, making prostitutes less likely to carry them. And it’s not like the cops are getting women off the street and driving Prostitution has been legal in Las Vegas for them to job-training classes—sex workers some time. What’s the verdict on legal prostitu- make up a third of all female inmates in U.S. tion? Gay marriage and marijuana use have prisons, and a criminal record makes finding become accepted. Will legal prostitution always alternate work even tougher. just be a Vegas thing? —Silent John Countries that choose to legalize generally enforce health and safety regulations (including STD testing); they often proYOU NEED to do your homework, John. vide unemployment, disability, and pension First of all, if you bought the services of a prostitute in the city of Las Vegas, you com- benefits for prostitutes, as well as channels through which prostitutes can report viomitted a crime. Second, legal prostitution lence, enforce contractual rights of payis more widely accepted than we provinment, and transition out of the industry if cial Americans may understand: 50-plus nations, including most of the industrialized they wish. Sixty percent of sex workers in the Netherlands and New Zealand said West, have adopted it to some degree. The growing realization worldwide is that they felt safer refusing clients after legalization. In Nevada, where it’s permitted only the practice is never going away, and that in licensed brothels in the sleepier counties those selling their services are at far greater (so not Vegas or Reno), there are intercoms, risk than their clients. Consequently, legpanic buttons, and constant monitoring of islative goals have continued to shift since safety and cleanliness. we last discussed this: instead of trying to That said, legalization isn’t easy; plenty stamp out prostitution, they’re increasingly of countries have neglected major opporfocused on safety. tunities for regulation. The Netherlands The modern case against legalizing prosprovides work permits only to EU citizens, titution is essentially (a) legalization would forcing immigrants to work illegally and rely make it more difficult for police to identify heavily on pimps. Germany doesn’t mandate and stop pimps and traffickers, and (b) it’s condom use, and neither country requires such an inherently violent and degrading STD testing. It’s frequently argued that profession that ethically it can’t be conlegalization promotes human trafficking, doned. In one survey of prostitutes in nine countries, 60 to 90 percent said they’d been but it’s very tricky getting solid numbers on a highly illicit activity. The trafficking rate in physically assaulted on the job. My assisthe Netherlands increased after legalization, tant Una works at a charity that assists prostitutes, and in her experience the Pretty but the definition was widely expanded at the same time, making comparison difficult. Woman stories are rare: “The vast majority A controversial solution that’s rapidly of them are addicted to drugs, and almost gaining traction is the Swedish model, none have any hope they’ll escape this life.” under which selling sex is legal but buyNo one claims prostitution is the career ing it isn’t. Already in effect in Norway and one dreams of as a child. But police action

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news & Opinion | News of the weird Good Ol’ Boy

Sheriff Court in January of his “innocence” 2015, the company finally changed course, — that he might not have been masturbatpublicly “regretted” its decision and recalled ing at the front window of his home. He all existing stock.) admitted he was nude (changing clothes), • Montanan John Abarr told the Great but pointed out that he plays musical instru- Falls Tribune in November that his Rocky ments and was probably just picking out Mountain Knights of the Ku Klux Klan tunes on his ukulele (rather than “holding” opposes the “new world order” pushing a his genitals and moving “side to side,” as a “one government” system on the planet — neighbor had charged). but also stands against dis• Explanation for Childcrimination based on race, Porn Possession Never Before religion or sexual orientaHeard: Poet Les Merton, tion. “White supremacy is 70, denied in January that the old Klan,” he said. “This he had ever abused children, Unclear on the Concept is the new Klan” (except i miss football but had a more difficult time • Luis Moreno Jr., 26, was pursued by that, he said, robes and god how i miss explaining why a child-porn police in Fort Lee, New Jersey, after he hoods will still be required, it website had his credit card entered the carpool lane approaching the along with “secret rituals”). information. Merton holds George Washington Bridge in January • The New Normal: In January, Mittens the kitbecause he appeared to be alone in his SUV. the appointed title of Cornish ten and Charcoal the ChiAfter ignoring several signals to pull over, he bard in Cornwall, England, and is the author of the Offihuahua mix made news finally stopped and, when informed of his cial Encyclopedia of the Coras hermaphrodites whose offense, told the officer, “I have two passenveterinarians had recomgers in the back” and rolled down a window nish Pasty — and explained in Truro Crown Court that mended which gender to show them (in the vehicle’s third row), the since-adopted strays apparently satisfying the officer. However, as he must have mindlessly entered his credit card inforshould retain. Mittens, of Moreno pulled away, one passenger began mation while researching the the town of Heart’s Desire, screaming and banging on the back door. Newfoundland, was schedMoreno sped off with his hostages, but was 19th-century Russian figure Rasputin. uled for “gender assignment” surgery to subsequently stopped again and charged become solely male, and Charcoal, of Boise, with kidnapping and criminal restraint (but Idaho, is recovering from mid-January surno HOV violation!). What Researchers Do • Mike Montemayor, until recently a “Entomologists are not like other people,” gery to leave her exclusively female. News reports did not disclose why “male” was county commissioner in Laredo, Texas, Wired.com reported in January, revealchosen for Mittens, but the doctor said corpleaded guilty to bribery charges in June ing that two of them had “proudly” issued and had argued in January 2015 that he “birth” announcements for the “Human bot recting Charcoal’s pre-surgery problem, urishould get a light sentence because, after all, fly” whose larvae one had let gestate beneath nation, would be less stressful as a female. he had subsequently helped FBI agents in his skin for two months. Scientist Piotr a sting against three other officials accused Fine Points of the Law Naskrecki and photographer Gil Wizen of bribery. However, the prosecutor immeThe Supreme Court of Canada turned had been inadvertently bitten while on diately countered that Montemayor had in down Joel Ifergan’s appeal in January, leavassignment in Belize and decided the eggfact tried to steal the recording devices and ing his winning-number lottery ticket from laying “attack” on a human was an imporApple computer the FBI had furnished him tant opportunity for research. After all, 2008 worthless. He had bought two tickto do the undercover work. (He got six years Naskrecki said, he had never seen an adult ets seconds before the 9 p.m. deadline on in prison and a $109,000 fine.) May 23 of that year, and the tickets had bot fly “crawl out” of its host. started to print on the store’s machine, but Compelling Explanations only the first one carried that day’s date. By New World Order • Lame: (1) Briton Roberto Collins, 51, the time the second one — with winning • Last year in Middle East school marwas sentenced to 13 months in jail by Man- kets, the worldwide publishing giant Harp- numbers for the $27 million jackpot — had chester Crown Court in January after being erCollins was selling a popular atlas whose gone through the lottery’s central computer caught standing on a ladies’ room toilet and maps pretended there was no such country system and back to the store’s printer, the peering into the next stall. He told police as Israel. The space that is Israel was merged program had already kicked over to the folhe stood up only to better scratch an itch lowing day and to the next week’s drawing. into Jordan, Syria and Gaza. The company and was in the ladies’ room only because, said it was merely honoring “local preferwearing faulty glasses, he thought it was the ences” of potential atlas purchasers, whom Undignified Deaths men’s room. (2) Scotsman Dean Gilmar(1) Police in Seville, Spain, reported HarperCollins presumed were Arabs wishtin, 25, actually persuaded a judge at Perth in November that a 23-year-old medical ing that Israel did not exist. (In January FEB 11-17, 2015

A miles-long traffic jam on Interstate 20 near Tuscaloosa, Alabama, on Jan. 25 and on into the next morning was caused by an 18-wheeler that jackknifed and overturned when the 57-year-old driver took his hands off the wheel to pull out a tooth with his fingers. Efforts to haul the truck from the roadside required an hours-long detour of traffic off of the interstate. (The driver’s mission was successful; he had the tooth in his pocket when rescued.)

What to do and where to eat, we have the answers! www.connectsavannah.com

student visiting from Poland accidentally fell to her death at the famous Puente de Triana bridge when she maneuvered herself into position on a ledge to take a “selfie.” It was the third “selfie” death on the Iberian peninsula in five months; in August a tourist couple (both also from Poland) fell to their deaths while posing for their photo at Cabo de Roca, Portugal. (2) In January, a tourist visiting the Spanish island of Ibiza with her boyfriend jumped up joyously as he proposed marriage to her, lost her balance and fell 65 feet off a cliff to her death.

Recurring Themes

Ultra-Expensive Trysts: The ones reported previously in News of the Weird involved celebrities ultimately nailed for high-ticket child support payments based on a single encounter (e.g., tennis star Boris Becker, who admitted conceiving a child in a restaurant closet rendezvous). British tourist Peter Cousins, 55, is now dealing with a medical bill of $250,000 after deciding that the middle of a Nevada desert was a good place to have sex — which provoked a heart attack, leading to emergency rescue and a five-day hospital stay (and, eventually, breakup with his then-girlfriend).

A News of the Weird Classic (July 2011)

Urban Legend Come to Life: Too-goodto-be-true stories have circulated for years about men who accidentally fell, posterior first, onto compressed-air nozzles and “selfinflated,” to resemble “dough boys,” usually with fatal results. However, in May (2011) in Opotiki, New Zealand, trucker Steven McCormack found himself in similar circumstances, and had it not been for quickthinking colleagues who pulled him away, he would have been killed — not as a “dough boy” but as the air, puncturing his anal cavity, began separating his body’s tissue from muscle. McCormack was hospitalized in severe pain, but the air gradually seeped from his body (according to a doctor, in the way air “usually” seeps from a body). cs By chuck shepherd UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

FEB 11-17, 2015

music | it’s irish time! Saturday

Get some air with Seamus Kennedy. Photo by Richard Dorbin

Main Stage 10:15 - 11:30 Opening ceremony with SVA Chorale and Savannah Pipes and Drums 11:45 - 12:30 Irish Dancers of Savannah 12:45 - 1:30 Gabriel Donohue 1:45 - 2:30 Open the Door for Three 2:45 - 3:30 The McKrells 3:45 - 4:30 Glor na Daire Dancers 4:45 - 5:30 Burning Bridget Cleary 5:45 - 6:30 The Savannah Ceili Band

Kevin Barry’s Pub Stage

Irish Festival highlights Celtic culture by anna chandler ann@connectsavannah.com

FEB 11-17, 2015

IT’S February already, and you know what that means: less than 30 days until Saint Patrick’s Day! There’s no better way to get into the spirit of things than a weekend at the 23rd Annual Savannah Irish Festival. Kick it all off on Friday night with a traditional Ceili, a popular form of Irish folk dancing (lessons will be provided), then wake up Saturday and hit the Main Stage for the opening ceremony, featuring SVA Chorale and Savannah Pipes and Drums. From morning to evening, dance, song, and laughter will provide entertainment for the entire family across four stages. If you’re looking for Irish dance and music, scope out the schedules at the festival Main Stage and Kevin Barry’s Pub Stage. The great thing about the Irish Festival is that, even if your busy schedule keeps you 20 from attending the whole weekend, most

Open the Door for Three offer high-energy traditional tunes. Photo by Alison Grasso

11:45 - 12:30 12:45 - 1:30 1:45 - 2:30 2:45 - 3:30 3:45 - 4:30 4:45 - 5:30

The Savannah Ceili Band Harry O’Donoghue Burning Bridget Cleary Seamus Kennedy Open the Door for Three The McKrells

Buttimer Family Cultural Stage 12:15 - 1:00 Seamus Kennedy 1:15 - 2:00 Tom O’Carroll presents “Literary Dublin in Song, Story and Humor” 3:15 - 4:30 Harry O’Donoghue hosts the Singer/Songwriter Set featuring Gabrie Donohue and Kevin McKrell

The Children’s Stage 11:30 - 12:00 12;15 - 1:00 1:15 - 2:00 show 2:15 - 3:00 3:15 - 4:00

Silly Dilly Glor na Daire Dancers Debbie O’Carroll presents her magic Irish Dancers of Savannah Silly Dill

Sunday

Burning Bridget Cleary are on fire at Irish festivals around the country.

performers offer multiple shows, so that you can catch them at least once; with some of Ireland’s top performers on tap this year, you won’t want to miss it. One of the most-highly regarded Celtic acts today, Burning Bridget Cleary is sure to get even the wallflowers up and off their feet. Georgia-based Irish folks will certainly enjoy the Celtic and bluegrass interweavings of The McKrells, helmed by singer-songwriter Kevin McKrell. Taking their name from an old slip jig, Open the Door for Three play traditional Irish tunes and original compositions with a fresh, powerful energy. “They’re all very sought-after for most of the Irish Festivals across the nation,” says the Irish Festival’s Paula Fogarty. Seamus Kennedy, often called the “hardest working man in Irish entertainment,” returns. He blends wit and skill to put on an interactive show to delight the “wee ones” and grownups alike.

Take the kids over to The Children’s Area, where they can make crafts, have their faces painted, soar in the bounce houses, and enjoy live entertainment especially for them. Over at the Buttimer Family Cultural Stage, enjoy insightful, thought-provoking discussions of Irish History, literature, and music. Humorist and folk singer Tom O’Carroll provides an accessible, interesting look into literary Ireland with his talk “Literary Dublin in Song, Story and Humor,” offering a glimpse into the storied lives of the Fair City’s most talented wordsmiths. Attendees are invited to explore the vendor booths and sample food prepared by many of Savannah’s Irish organizations. Whether you chowing down or dancing, the festival crew is happy to welcome you to the season of green. “It’s Irish Time in Savannah!” Fogarty cheerfully declared. CS

Main Stage 12:00 - 12:45 Glor na Daire Dancers 1:00 - 1:45 Burning Bridget Cleary 2:00 - 2:45 Irish Dancers of Savannah 3:00 - 3:45 The McKrells 4:00 - 4:45 Open the Door for Three 5:00 - 5:45 The Savannah Ceili Band

Kevin Barry’s Pub Stage 12:00 - 12:45 1:00 - 1:45 2:00 - 2:45 3:00 - 3:45 4:00 - 4:45

The Savannah Ceili Band Open the Door for Three Seamus Kennedy The McKrells Burning Bridget Cleary

The Buttimer Family Cultural Stage 1;00 - 2:30 Harry O’Donoghue hosts the Singer/Songwriter set with Gabriel Donohue and Kevin McKrell 2:45 - 3:30 Tom O’Carroll presents “Literary Dublin in Song, Story and Humor” 3:45 - 4:30 Seamus Kennedy

The Children’s Stage 12:00 - 12:45 The Irish Dancers of Savannah 1:00 - 1:45 Debbie O’Carroll presents her magic show 2:00 - 2:45 Glor na Daire Dancers

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Music | savannah music festival

Dawes, Wailers among SMF additions BEST

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Savannah Music Festival has added four acts to its already-stellar 2015 lineup:

Jarekus Singleton

Added to “Blues in the Garden” with Heritage Blues Orchestra on Saturday, March 21 Mississippi’s Jarekus Singleton may just be 30, but he’s capturing the history of the blues while creating a bright future for the genre. With three 2014-15 Blues Music Award nominations, including Contemporary Male Blues Artist, Contemporary Album, and Album of the Year, he’s one to watch.

Dawes

Trustees Theater, Sunday, March 22 A roots rock band founded by brothers The legendary Wailers are back! Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin on vocals, guitar, and drums, respectively, Wylie Gelber on bass and Alex Casnoff on guitar, the Dawes sound is rooted in vintage folk-rock in the vein of Crosby, Stills & Nash and Neil Young.

The Wailers

Trustees Theater, Tuesday, March 31 The Wailers return for their second Savannah Music Festival appearance. Fronted by Dwayne Anglin, (Danglin), the anchor of the Wailers is Aston “Family Man” Barrett, Bob Marley’s righthand man and reggae legend in his own right.

Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors

Ships of the Sea, Friday, April 3 A distinctive indie Americana group comprised of Drew Holcomb, wife Ellie, Nathan Dugger, and Rich Brinsfield, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors began 2015 with a new LP, Medicine. CS

Californians Dawes are an exciting addition. Photo by Noah Abrams

Tickets to additional SMF 2015 shows go on sale online at 10 a.m. on Saturday, February 7 atwww.savannahmusicfestival.org, and at 216 East Broughton Street and 912.525.5050 beginning Monday, February 9 at 10 a.m.

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‘Go home horny’ with Savannah Sweet Tease Burlesque troupe unveils themselves, and a new beer, at Moon River by anna chandler ann@connectsavannah.com

THEY MAY be keeping the specifics of their “Behind Closed Doors” acts quiet, but Savannah Sweet Tease Burlesque Revue founders Wendy Denney, Anita Narcisse, and Jessica Knapp, aren’t shy about the show’s desired effects. “The goal is to make everyone go home horny,” Denney states with a sly grin. “Because it’s Valentine’s Day, it’s going to be more girly and glitzy, while still being very Sweet Tease,” she elaborates. “Some acts are a little more glamorous,” Narcisse adds. She assures that her Erin Go Brahless act is still “very Erin”—expect a clever combination of sultry swagger and playful hilarity. To ensure that everyone who wants to see the show gets in, the Teases are offering two performances: February 13 with femalefronted rockabilly band The Living Deads, and February 14 with Blouses, a Prince tribute that debuted at The Jinx’s annual Halloween cover band night. While their usual emcee, that demented clown Skippy Spiral, is out of town, Odd Lot Improv’s John Turner, a.k.a. Tom Collins, is stepping in. “He’s Skippy in boat shoes,” kids Knapp. Adds Denney, “He’s got this comical confidence like the Rat Pack guys.” “Behind Closed Doors” isn’t the only thing the burlesque troupe’s brewing up; they recently rolled up their sleeves and got dirty down at Moon River Brewing Company, creating their very own beer. With the guidance of Moon River’s Aaron Deist, the Teases have dreamed up

The Savannah Sweet Tease’s Trixie Tickles, Pecan Sandie, Rebel Belle, and Erin Go Brahless brew up trouble! Photo by Geoff Johnson two scrumptious craft concoctions: a porter that features a coffee and chocolate base with hints of graham cracker, vanilla, ancho chili powder, and cinnamon (they’re calling it the “s’morter”), and an IPA boasting passion fruit tea, habanero, and honey tones. The Teases enjoy the local, collaboratory spirit of working with Savannah’s first microbrewery, and the feeling was mutual. “One of the first ideas I had was to make some casks with the Sweet Tease,” says Deist. “They are an unbelievably talented, fun and outgoing group of people, and if this collaboration can get more people to see their shows, then everyone wins. Plus, I knew many of them loved beer!” It’s a Moon River tradition to tap a different cask ale on Wednesdays. On February 11, they’ll tap the first Tease cask; if the first cask is drained (that’s 80 pints), they’ll put the second cask on, but if not, make sure to head to Bay Street on February 18 to help out with cask number two. The Teases will be there to meet

burlesque and beer fans alike, and they’re bringing plenty of prizes with them, including season tickets and merchandise. If the fun of the brewing experience is any indicator, it’s going to be a deliciously adventurous batch. “Aaron let us do everything,” Denney says of the brewing process. “We learned a lot… like needing to be careful about what we touch.” “Yes!” agrees Narcisse with a big laugh. “Things can blow up!” CS Beer Casks Unveiled Moon River Brewing Company Wednesday, February 11, and Wednesday, February 18

The Savannah Sweet Tease Burlesque Revue Present: Behind Closed Doors Friday, February 13 with The Living Deads Saturday, February 14 with Blouses The Jinx $10

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Music | The Band page

By Anna Chandler | anna@connectsavannah.com

WITH SO many options out there, there’s no reason to have a boring Valentine’s Day. We’ve compiled the hottest dates in town for your convenience; pick one destination, or mix it up for a packed evening!

E FOR TH Y PP HO E: COUPL

E FOR TH OUS ADVENTUR: PAIR

Chris Cook’s Fifty Shades of Red: My Fetish Valentine @The Wormhole

RING V-Day in at midnight at Fetish Night at The Wormhole. The Tied & Tasseled Cabaret will be performing Bloody Burlesque alongside designated fetish play areas, and it wouldn’t be a Chris Cook party without a costume contest: a Best Dressed Gentlemen will be honored, and the World Famous Lingerie Contest is back. Attendees are encouraged to don their fetish and Valentine-themed best.

Love is Brewing @Southbound Brewing Company

IF your beer-fanatic boo’s lovesick and ale-in’ (thank you, I’ll be here all week), take them Southbound the special day. Les Racquet performs, and the beer masters will be pouring samples of Southbound’s draft lineup. The new Les Racquet Imperial is among the offerings; the band collaborated with the brewery to scheme up the brown ale with hints of cocoa (appropriate, no?). Though Lathrop may be a little ways off the typical date night route, Southbound has you covered for the whole evening. Make it a dinner date and dine on warm, homey Scottish pub fare off of Molly MacPherson’s food truck (!!!), parked outside the brewery. Sweet tooth demanding a little more than the chocolatey notes wafting from your souvenir pint glass? River Street Sweets will be onhand to satisfy your cravings— plus, all their profits go toward the historic Tybee Post Theater. If you both want to sample the smorgasbord of hoppy delights, not to worry; spring for the $60 ticket option, which includes round-trip party bus transportation. It’ll even take you over to the after-party at Barrelhouse South, where The Accomplices will play with Athens band Radio Birds. 7:30 p.m. $30 for admission, tasting, and pint glass; $60 for all of the above, plus transportation; $100 for all of the above, VIP entrance, and front-row table seating. Tickets at staffordpromotions.com.

Friday, February 13. 10 p.m. $9 via ticketfly.com, $13 at the door.

FEB 11-17, 2015

E FOR TH Y K AN SW : BIRDS EARLY

Velvet Caravan @Unitarian Universalist Church

PICTURE a day spent wandering the streets and squares hand-in-hand with your honey, ending in Troup Square. Take some time to read each other’s Valentine horoscopes by the Armillary Sphere, then mosey into Unitarian Universalist Church for an intimate concert with Velvet Caravan. Our local sultans of swing will be setting the mood with love songs and surprises— and with a 4p.m. start time, there’s still plenty of time for dinner. 4 p.m. $15 advance via uusavannah.org, $20 at door

Music | The Band page

E FOR TH E INDI S: G The Toothe, Whaleboat, Culture Vulture @Hang Fire DARLIN E FOR TH ERS:

PP DAYTRIP

California Guitar Trio @The Mars Theatre

CARE to venture out of downtown’s hustle and bustle this year? Springfield, Georgia offers small-town charm less than an hour down 21, and the restored Mars Theatre has all the old-school trappings to sweep you and your Valentine off to yesteryear. California Guitar Trio provide the soundtrack to the experience, merging rock, jazz, classical, and world music. You may have heard their music at the Olympics; it was even used to awaken the Space Shuttle Endeavor’s crew (how many groups can say that?!). Go full throwback and hit Ronnie’s Restaurant for milkshakes on your way down the road. 8 p.m. $20 advance, $25 at door. Tickets at marstheatre.com.

FOR THE N OW HOMEGR YS: E HON

Valentine Dance @Notre Dame Academy gymnasium

HALLMARK haters are quick to remind that February 14 is just another day in the calendar year— which means that, even with the occasion calls for unfettered adoration of your significant other, quarrels can still happen. If things are tense and sitting in a room cloaked in darkness sounds like the only way you could possibly stand each other, good news! Valentine’s marks the kick-off of Punk Rock Movie Night at the Bean, and they’re starting the new tradition with one of the most infamous love stories ever told: Sid and Nancy. A cult classic following the, erm, tumultuous relationship between the Sex Pistols’ Sid Vicious (Gary Oldman in a career-defining role) and girlfriend Nancy Spungen (Chloe Webb), the problems between rock ‘n’ roll’s most notorious couple (like, uh, stabbing) are sure to make any spats between you and your valentine seem petty.

IF you or your sweetheart break out in hives at the sound of a dubstep beat and sight of a long club line, this Valentine’s offers a new way to move. Why not get in touch with your down-home side and try some contra dancing? Set to the tunes of the Glow-in-the-Dark String Band ( Joe Nelson, Joe Pittman, and Judy Williams), Joyce Murlless and Bob Beattie will call the moves while the dance floor reverberates with spins and stomps. Never tried it? Get there at 7:15 for a crash course (Murlless and Beattie slowly walk you through each particular dance before it begins, too, since the “moves” can vary: you never go in cold). There are plenty of pluses to mixing up your standard date fare with some old time dance, advises Williams.: “Ya gotta have music on a Valentine date, and there’s lots of eye contact—it’s constant!” Even if you’re stag for the night, you’ll feel welcome; Williams divulges that there is ”plenty of opportunity to flirt.” The crowd’s a mix of neighbors, Savannah Folk Music Society regulars, first-timers and dance pros, so if you get stuck, no worries—the regulars are ready to lend a friendly tip and get you back on track in no time. You’ll leave elated from trying something new surrounded by smiling faces (and maybe a little loopy from all the spinning). CS

8 p.m. Free to customers of The Sentient Bean.

7:30 p.m. $6 for Savannah Folk Music Society members, $8 for nonmembers.

IF E YOU’R G: Punk Rock Movie Night Presents: Sid and Nancy @The Sentient Bean FIGHTIN

FEB 11-17, 2015

YOU totally spent Valentine’s morning gifting each other records over mugs brimming with Graveface’s Midnight Offering coffee, didn’t you? Uh huh. You’re no stranger to late nights on the town, so a packed Hang Fire bill is the perfect way to spend your V-Day; get two straws to share your Scorpion Tea and you and your sweetie will be just the cutest. Asheville’s The Toothe return to Savannah. They may be an acoustic trio, but they’re ready to “burn it to the ground” with unbridled revelry. While the band is rooted in folk-pop, they’re enjoying exploring new styles as they work toward recording a full-length. “We take joy in writing in as many styles as we can,” they explain. They’re looking forward to spending V-Day at Hang Fire. “We love Savannah,” they say. “It’s a stately, sweaty little town!” Can’t argue with that.

LIVE MUSIC Friday, Feb. 20th

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Rancho Alegre Cuban Restaurant Jody Espina Trio River House Jason Bible Rocks on the Roof Hitman Ruth’s Chris Steak House David Duckworth & Kim Polote The Shrimp Factory Justin Morris Tybee Island Social Club The Accomplices The Warehouse Georgia Maple Wild Wing Cafe Thomas & the Myth World of Beer Johnny Octane

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Saturday / 14 17 Hundred 90 Restaurant Gail Thurmond bar.food Christy Alan Band Barrelhouse South The Accomplices w/ Radio Birds Bayou Cafe David Harbuck, Hitman Billy’s Place at McDonough’s Mike Sweat & Nancy Witt, piano/vocal

CALLING ALL LOVEBIRDS: DownloaD the FrEE

FEB 11-17, 2015

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Culture | savannah book festival

Book Festival: Patton Oswalt on Satire, Movies, and Southern literature

They were never writing that Islam is stupid. They were writing that other assholes were taking beautiful things, beautiful ideas, and screwing them up. Just like the Westboro Baptist Church does, or certain groups of violent Orthodox Jews, for example. Charlie Hebdo makes fun of everyone who takes something beautiful and messes it up and redirects that beauty for their own selfish and evil ways. ISIS and Al Qaeda are just cynics who manipulate idealists and optimists into acts of violence. That’s what’s disgusting. Not the cartoons that are drawn about them. Charlie Hebdo is not mocking Islam, they’re mocking the one group that went crazy and hurt people. Look at all the covers they’ve done. They’ve been absolutely brutal about Sarkozy, the former president of France. And Sarkozy was just like, oh hey, I guess they got me. It was like Obama’s State of the Union the other night. Remember when he did Silver Screen Fiend, thing turned into them just yelling out the line about his final campaign? And the a masterfully writ- things they’d seen you in. ten book blending Republicans at first gave it that ha–ha, that sophisticated historical Patton Oswalt: Yeah, but this wasn’t like the sort of bullying laugh? allusion, painstaking cincasino gig at all. At the casino they were And then Obama laid the fucking smackematic analysis, and painful literally just screaming titles of movies and down on them? Go back and watch the wide introspection with the comedian’s shows I’d been in. That was it. shot of the Republicans after his punchline trademark whimsically misanthropic At Carnegie Hall this was the crowd about winning both campaigns. They were humor, drenched with pop culture. helping me with a specific bit. It was actually like, ah, he got us. That’s a good one. very gratifying and very awesome. This was More people need to be like that—ah, I read your book in one sitting, couldn’t By jim morekis a very flattering way for them to acknowlshit you got me. And not be so insecure. put it down. It reads like it was written the edge my work and what it meant to them. jim@connectsavannah.com And not take good honest people and same way, in one long burst of energy, like I can think of nothing more gratifying manipulate them for your own devices. On The Road or something. PATTON OSWALT might be the most than someone recognizing your work, and Assholes always, always need to be all-encompassing celebrity who’s not a enjoying it so much that they would help mocked. There is no exception. Feminism, household name. Patton Oswalt: No, I didn’t get hammered and you recreate a piece of work you’ve done for example, isn’t exempt either. He still performs hundreds of standup bang it out in a long uncut scroll, like Kerthat’s important to them. It should really We need satirists to mock the assholes of dates a year, most recently selling out Carn- ouac. That would make a great story, but always be about the work that you do, that the world. Satire is a safety valve for the assegie hall. He’s had lead roles in two movies, it didn’t happen that way. I went through you create. It should never be about you. holes policing our thoughts. one live action (Big Fan) and as the voice of probably about three or four drafts. I guess People on our side, the progressives, the Remy in Ratatouille. it probably took about a year to write. You posted a visceral response to the Bos- left, we often lose sight of that. Satire is our He’s had dozens of prime time TV ton bombing, that begins,“Boston. Fuckmost powerful weapon! And we’ve largely appearances, most notably The King of You just sold out Carnegie Hall. So ing horrible.” It’s the most striking thing just sat back and let the right wing have that, Queens. He’s in web videos. He’s written you crowdsourced the encore and they I’ve read about that. I was curious about with people like Ann Coulter. political commentary. He’s one of the best demanded your “I Want All the Ham” bit? your take on the Charlie Hebdo massacre. Twitter follows out there. Some say what they do is satire, others But that stuff isn’t so much funny as it is And now he’s a best-selling author, comPatton Oswalt: It wasn’t an encore at all. That’s say it can’t be satire if it’s directed toward a just bullying. marginalized group. ing to the Savannah Book Festival this what was so great about it. I don’t do the weekend. encore thing. I hate encores. I hate the idea Patton Oswalt: Yes. The right doesn’t underOswalt’s second book, Silver Screen Fiend: of keeping people cheering and milking it Patton Oswalt: Those arguments only hold up stand the difference between satire and Learning About Life From An Addiction way too long, just to get that weird ego rub. if Charlie Hebdo are just targeting Muslims. mean. But the left does. To Film, is his bitingly funny memoir of “OK, I got the standing O, now let’s make But they were targeting fucking everybody. Of course there’s always that tiny part the time in the late ‘90s when he was both ‘em wait ten more minutes.” Every religion, everyone in power. Everyone. of the progressive left that doesn’t get that. honing his standup and also obsessively The Ham bit is what they wanted to hear, It’s easy to pick out a few covers they did But you can’t just do a scorched earth policy devouring every movie he could, from cult so I was like, OK. But it turns out I couldn’t about Mohammed, sort of as a Monday against the speech that you disapprove of. to classic, horror to sci-fi, mostly within the remember exactly how it went, so I got them morning quarterback. But they went after You’re either all in or all out when it comes New Beverly Theatre in L.A., which became to help me out. It was amazing. all the sacred cows, and the ethos of people to freedom of speech. It’s not a buffet. his home away from home. in power. Look what they did on Marine I want to hear the racists and homoMost books by comedians are lame colReminds me of your bit about the Le Pen, the leader of what is basically the phobes loud and clear so I know who they lections of one-liners. But you needn’t have obscenely lucrative Vegas casino gig where French neo-Nazi party. They were fucking are. I want to keep the assholes where I can 30 caught a single Oswalt bit to appreciate the audience was so wasted that the whole merciless about her! mock them. FEB 11-17, 2015

‘You’re either all in or all out when it comes to freedom of speech. It’s not a buffet.’

patton oswalt |

continued from previous page

You yourself were called a racist when you Tweeted jokes about a TV station that was caught using made-up, stereotypical Asian names.

will get me votes.” Though I do give Michele Bachmann credit, I think she doesn’t realize climate change is happening and actually believes the bullshit she says. Patton Oswalt: By that logic Mel Brooks was But someone like Newt Gingrich, who a white supremacist because in Blazing Sad- says there’s no such thing as climate change? dles someone says “nigger” every five minutes. Oh he knows. But that’s the whole point—Mel Brooks The ones who say, “Well, the jury is still was mocking racism. The point of the movie out on climate change. “ No it’s fucking not. The jury is not out. And you know it. was to mock racists. People say, ‘Patton, watch out man, you I saw your web short ‘The Lemon Wars.’ can be really misunderstood on Twitter.’ How awesome was it to have Werner HerWho gives a fuck? You’re saying I have to zog call you “vile and debased?” That must consider the needs of the dumbest people have been a career moment for a hardcore on the planet whenever I do a bit? I love it when people misunderstand— film buff like you. then you can pull the rug out from under them. I love it when I say something people Patton Oswalt: Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever might think is all right-wing. Then I can been that happy since…. Well, I haven’t been zing them. that happy since my daughter was born. To be in the presence of Werner HerIs political correctness the problem? zog and have him yell at you about being a vile toad, and stuff like that. It was a real Patton Oswalt: No. It’s that things are willfully moment where I was like, I never imagined taken out of context to see what kind of hits I would ever in my life be in a position to be and clicks and what kind of outrage it can this cool. generate. Like the politicians who are like, “I know climate change is real and it’s happening, but I’m going to say it’s not because that

You grew up in Virginia, yet you never do bits about growing up in the South or being a Southerner. Patton Oswalt: That’s because I don’t feel like it’s something I can play up. I grew up in the suburbs of Northern Virginia where there was absolutely no discernible hint of the South. Friends I grew up with from places like Roanoke or Richmond, they actually got the taste of the deep swampy Southern culture. But I never felt right in talking about it or claiming it. It’s like claiming really Punk roots when you grew up listening to Top 40. But Southern writing? Hah. No question, the Southern literary tradition absolutely stands up to the best of the Irish or Russian literary tradition in terms of darkness and functional alcoholism and total weirdness. All the great American novels come directly from the South. All of them. People will talk about that brief explosion of writing from the northeast in the 1960s, but Americans really should be way more proud about the literature of the American South. I didn’t even discover writers like Faulkner or Flannery O’Connor until college. I was into Poe earlier than that, but he’s not really what we think of as a Southern

writer. He mimicked European writers of the time in most of his work. But yeah, the Southern literary tradition just fucking buries the Irish and Russian literary traditions in terms of darkness. There’s no argument about it. As you write in the book, you’ve done pretty much everything you’ve wanted to do except, ironically, write and direct your own film. Ready to take the plunge? Patton Oswalt: I lead a very day to day life. I’m very motivated to make sure that whatever I do next feeds into the process of my work as a whole. You have to factor in how your own perceptions change over time. At one point you might look at something and say, oh, that just didn’t hold up to the importance of great art. Then at another point you’ll go back and watch it and learn something new. I’m trying to make the next step, whatever it is, be a part of that whole learning process. That’s my plan at least. cs Savannah Book Festival: Patton Oswalt Sat., 4:10 p.m., Lutheran Church, Wright Square Free and open to the public

Monday Night Brewing Beer Dinner

5 Course Beer and Food Pairing Special glassware and giveaways Thursday, February 19th, 2015

Dinner starts at 6, $50

Monday Night Brewing Pint Night

Come out and enjoy 20 Georgia Craft beers all the time in The Maple Room Tavern at Johnny Harris! Johnny Harris Restaurant and Maple Room Tavern 1651 East Victory Dr. 31404

FEB 11-17, 2015

Friday, February 20th, 5:30 to 10:30 Flights and Pint giveaways while supplies last!

Culture | savannah book festival

Book Festival: John Dean on Watergate, secrecy, and Obama

John Dean: There was actually already an existing system in place, before this particular voice-activated recording system was installed. Nixon was very aware of the fact that his conversations were being taped at some times. And at other times he’s obviously totally forgotten about it. When I first started dealing with him he seemed unaware of Watergate. But I soon realized he was deliberately trying to give me that impression. In any case, it’s a remarkable primary source. No other president is ever going to do it again.

Even with the tapes, Nixon could still have desire to be experienced in that area. gotten away with this. What went wrong? It’s a pretty permanent bureaucracy. A few chairs are shuffled every now and then but John Dean: Theoretically the cover-up abso- these people watch out for their own. lutely could have worked. One of their probThey told Obama how things operate, lems was I wouldn’t cooperate with regards and he basically had no way to counter what to Magruder and Mitchell’s testimony. They they were saying. would claim I agreed to it. That was their real problem. I will lie for nobody. It’s amazing to read how aggressively the But sure, there are FBI came after President Nixon. Someplenty of cover-ups that thing like that just wouldn’t happen today. have worked. The whole Iran/Contra scandal to John Dean: What happened is J. Edgar this day has not completely Hoover had just left the FBI after running it unraveled, when everyfor decades. There is great interest and specbody was pardoned on ulation about what might have happened Christmas Eve and cases had Hoover still been in there. In today’s environment were reversed on techSo you have a new FBI Acting Director in of scandal, people don’t nicalities and everybody Patrick Gray, and a new day-to-day operareally get that Nixon had walked. tions chief who is Mark Felt. Who we know very broad public supbetter today as “Deep Throat.” Bob Woodport right up until the Why did Iran/Contra not ward’s source for all those stories. endgame of Watergate. cause more outrage? Was As a conversation in my book shows it just a different time, or from October ’72, Felt is a terrible leaker! John Dean: That’s right. was it because it involved He’s sending FBI agents over to the White The break-in occurs durforeign policy? House without pre-clearance. Hoover never, ing the ’72 reelection camby Jim Morekis ever in the history of the FBI had ever done paign, in June. Everyone is John Dean: It could be jim@connectsavannah.com something like that. immediately suspicious, but it doesn’t make all of those things. What really happened is So Felt is taking on the president directly a real blip on the political map. that post-Watergate, Republicans got much with this stuff, trying to position himself THE MOTHER of all political scandals, There was almost zero press coverage of better at dealing with scandals. Watergate’s legacy is so all-pervasive that to perhaps be appointed to the permanent In fact it was none other than Dick every scandal since is seemingly required to it outside the Beltway, and the Washington director position. bear the suffix “-gate,” and every anonymous Post were the only people covering it inside Cheney who led the countercharge on Capithe Beltway. Otherwise it’s a complete non- tol Hill during the Iran/Contra congressource called a “Deep Throat.” Many critics remark how incredibly issue in the campaign. sional investigations. He had no problem at exhaustive your book is about the details The Nixon administration’s efforts to It wasn’t until April of 1973 when Sy all with Reagan’s performance. Iran/Contra of the White House conversations. What cover-up a ham-handed break-in at a DemHersh of the New York Times jumps on was easily much worse than Watergate. ocratic Party headquarters in 1972 led not prompted you to drill down so deeply into only to the resignation of Nixon himself two the story. He wrote some devastating pieces Watergate this late in the game? You even wrote a book called Worse Than years later, but a renaissance of investigative that Nixon was shaken by, much more so than he was by Woodward and Bernstein. Watergate. journalism and a national overhaul of the John Dean: I hadn’t planned it. I set out to Hersh was already talking about the Cubanwhole concept of presidential power itself. answer a few questions. I didn’t understand Former White House counsel John Dean Americans getting paid off, right at the core John Dean: The secrecy of the Bush presihow Nixon could have come up with the of the cover-up. dency far exceeded anything Nixon could found himself at the center of the scandefenses he came up with, the last one being The way scandals work is they need con- have dreamed of, from shutting down pubdal when he refused to cooperate with the he supposedly knew nothing about Waterlic access of information, to the presidency cover-up, becoming essentially the main wit- stant reinforcement for the public to start gate until I told him on March 21, 1973. paying attention. That did start to happen going after leakers. ness against the president. I thought enough of the tapes had been I don’t think on his darkest day Nixon Combing through thousands of hours of once the Senate hearings start in May 1973. transcribed and it would be relatively easy. When the hearings start, interest slowly would have authorized torture. Not only is White House tapes, Dean has written his But I very quickly discovered they hadn’t torture clearly in violation of international sixth and by far most exhaustive book about builds up. At first the public was terribly been. Nobody had bothered to catalogue the uninterested, and people got angry because law, it violates about two dozen domestic Watergate: The Nixon Defense: What He Watergate conversations! Not even half the their soap operas were being interrupted. statutes. And yet it was done. Knew and When He Knew It. tapes had been transcribed! And they were all given a pass by Obama, One of the last surviving players involved But soon people start watching very closely. So to follow this thread took four years. I When the hearings started, the networks who said it was time to “look forward” and in Watergate on either side, Dean comes to had a whole team of grad students helping used pool cameras and rotated coverage. By “move on.” the Savannah Book Festival this weekend. me. One woman, for example, personally the time I testified in June 1973, all three transcribed 500 conversations. They all did In the current climate of total surveillance networks had their own cameras there, plus Liberals can be pretty complacent such amazing work. cs PBS. about Obama’s record on torture and and 24/7 news channels, it seems unreal That’s actually what put PBS on the map. surveillance. today that a president would willingly Savannah Book Festival: John Dean They had no real audience until Watergate. record everything he said in the White Sat., 1:30 p.m., Lutheran Church, Wright Square As a result of airing those hearings later at John Dean: I’ve always been convinced House, no matter how incriminating. Free and open to the public night for people who couldn’t see them dur- Obama was sort of captured by the national ing the day, they kept a huge and permanent security community when he came in. He audience. was inexperienced, and had no particular 32 FEB 11-17, 2015

‘Post-Watergate, Republicans got much better at dealing with scandal’

Culture | savannah book festival

Book Festival: Greg Iles on race, writing, & McConaughey by Jim morekis

Despite the length of these books, you say producers immediately approached you about a screen adaptation.

jim@connectsavannah.com

Greg Iles: I didn’t think I had a

commercial novel when that truck pulled out in front of me.

Not only did you survive an almost unsur- So you rewrote the book yet again. Then vivable car accident, but it came just as you what happened? had done a big rewrite of Natchez Burning for the publisher. Greg Iles: Then I had to find people willing to go with me on this journey. Within Greg Iles: People tend to exaggerate these six months I no longer had the same agent incidents. But this was the real thing. It took or publisher. People are used to the idea of off my leg, shattered the other leg, shattered trilogies because of the success of these YA my pelvis. Most notably, it ripped my aorta. series. But in mainstream fiction you don’t After I came out of that coma, I told see three novels, each of 200,000 words. myself, “you do not have an infinite number It was a huge risk and nobody knew what of books left to write. If you’ve got somewould happen. But we just bet the farm on thing to say you better say it.” it. Then a couple of reviews came in that Three Penn Cage books existed before were really good. that car wreck. The first one was writAnd then Ken Follett Tweeted that Natten about race, but only to a certain depth. chez Burning was the “best thriller in years.” What really changed everything was in 2010 Not of the year, but in years. Then I when my father passed away. My father was thought, you know, maybe something’s the basis for Tom Cage. It got me thinking about to happen here. much more seriously. I call it the Atticus It goes back to something my first editor Finch Syndrome, the child of a parent of said to me. He talked about the notion of almost heroic stature. Then you come to “granular perspective.” He said you can tell a realize they’re just as human as anyone else. story from an inch off the desk or a foot off Then I got to know the reporter who was the desk. This book is written from an inch the basis for the character Henry Sexton in off the desk! The crazy part is that the first two books Natchez Burning. A reporter working for little money in the middle of nowhere. On his together are at least 550,000 words total, with the action taking place only over eight own he literally outpaced the FBI in these days. So talk about granularity! A James old cold cases from the Civil Rights days. Michener book would cover ten generations I was really inspired by that. So this book in less time than one of my books! was already outpacing the dimensions of a

chance in hell of ever seeing this on screen. Because it’s so long and complex, almost by definition it’s too complicated to compress to a 120-page movie script. But with True Detective, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, all of a sudden there’s a new format that exists for which my books are actually perfect. Networks are completely retooling their schedules to buy and schedule TV drama series. Most movies are made for 14 year olds. How many people 45 or older even go to the movies anymore? But now with cable Does the question ever come up that being and streaming services, you’ve got an audience that’s basically quit consuming film and a white writer, especially a Southerner, is suddenly now watching TV full-time in you might not necessarily be the most binges. compelling or credible spokesperson on And here’s the really telling thing: It’s issues of race and social justice? drawing A-list actors. Guys who once only headlined films, thanks to Matthew McCoGreg Iles: My mother grew up on a subsistence farm in Louisiana and actually picked naughey they all now want to work in TV. 15 years ago these same people would have cotton herself. She graduated first in her class. She came from poor as you can come. laughed in your face at the idea of being on TV. My dad was a doctor, and the bulk of his patients were African American. He didn’t Do you and Stephen King and the Rock see race. Bottom Remainders still get together and As a younger man I worked laying sewer perform at all? pipe alongside an otherwise all African American crew. You do that a little while it will open your eyes to the reality. You find Greg Iles: Frankly with people like this it’s out what they really care about and what really tough to get one time for us all to be their lives are like. together. We’re scheduled to play a book fesNow, of course you can’t truly put yourtival in Tucson in a few months. But that’ll selves in someone’s shoes. A lot of people in probably be the only gig of the whole year. the North don’t understand these things as Technically we’re supposed to be retired! well, because the truth is many of them simply have very little experience in their own You still play guitar, though. lives of black people. I will say that one of the great cultural Greg Iles: Oh hell yeah, I still play. I’ve been tragedies of modern times is you can speak working on some songs. I’m trying to get to a group of young African Americans and good at “Paperback Writer” so we can play most of them won’t know the names of the it the next time. But that’s a song for real people who died during the Civil Rights men! cs movement. So it’s a complex thing.

FEB 11-17, 2015

Misssissippi author Greg Iles’ best-selling novel Natchez Burning—all 790 pages of it—is just the first book in an expansive trilogy about race and retribution in America. His familiar character Penn Cage, protagonist of three of Iles’s previous novels, faces the modern-day ramifications of murder and intrigue from the 1960s and the Civil Rights movement. With sex and violence galore to go along with the more weighty subject matter, Natchez Burning will be followed by this spring’s release of the second installment, The Bone Tree. The garrulous and funny Iles, disabled in 2011 after a catastrophic and profoundly life-changing car accident, is also known for playing guitar in the rocker/writer “supergroup” Rock Bottom Remainders, with Stephen King, Scott Turow, and other authors. Iles speaks at the Savannah Book Festival this weekend.

Savannah Book Festival: Greg Iles Sat. 11:40 a.m., First Bapist Church, Chippewa Square 33 Free and open to the public

Culture | Savannah Book Festival

Book Festival: Joan of Arc’s mad, mad world By Jessica Leigh Lebos jll@connectsavannah.com

SHE MAY have heard mysterious voices and charged her way like a banshee onto the battlefield, but Joan of Arc wasn’t necessarily a nut job. At least that’s the position of Lights of Madness, the latest book from local author and historian Dr. Preston Russell. Using the original transcripts of the trial against the 19 year-old French maiden, Russell recounts what actually occurred in that courtroom back in 1431 before she was burned at the stake as a cross-dressing heretic. This sets the stage for a rollicking analysis of almost 600 more years of judgment about Joan: Though posthumously exonerated by Pope Callixtus III 25 years later and canonized as a saint in 1920, theories abound that mental illness or compulsive lying were responsible for the hallucinations that inspired the plucky virgin to take back Paris. Russell collates all of them, excavating nuggets of truth and debunking the rest. Most intriguing is the examination of Joan’s supposed schizophrenia from a modern clinical perspective. A former physician as well as an accomplished painter, Dr. Russell became interested in Joan of Arc after he and his wife, Barbara, visited her birthplace. Noticing the lack of scientific inquiry into her famous “voices,” he spent six years researching Lights of Madness, and the result may the most comprehensive evaluation yet. Joan of Arc has been dead for almost 600 years! How can there possibly be anything new to say about her?

FEB 11-17, 2015

Preston Russell: It’s true, Joan of Arc is such a staple. At least three books a year come out about her—there are 12,000 in France alone! And they’re all pretty much the same book. I wanted to do something different. I didn’t want to be radical and just invent things, but I wanted to go sideways and show how she got to be a world icon. I also wanted to examine her life from a psychi34 atric analysis of voices, looking at Freudian

first trial—three are written in Latin, two are in French. One is in the Vatican, another is in the British Museum…the whole thing is available in book format and on the internet. You can read everything she said. The second trial came 15 years after Joan was executed. She had pretty cleared the way for Charles VII to become the king of France, and he wanted to clear her name with “a trial of reclamation.” That transcript survived, too. I realized that other than her legend, her story was recorded just like any other trial—and we love trials, don’t we? So you get to see exactly what happened in the trial of someone who was executed in 1431. The book’s first couple of chapters are verbatim—it’s just as accurate as watching the O.J. Simpson trial.

What was so compelling about her that she was able to wield so much influence? Preston Russell: Well, that’s the real miracle of Joan of Arc, isn’t it? How could a 17 yearold appear out of the boondocks and make a bunch of middle-aged military guys do what she said? That’s the mystery—you can take the theories of God out of it, that she was crazy, all of it, but still, how did that happen? But it’s there. In her first trial, she says that when Archangel Michel came to her and told her to save France, she despaired because she didn’t know how to ride a horse and didn’t know anything about warfare. Then—voila!— five years later she has this uncanny ability to look a town and devise a military strategy. Why explore her madness from a clinical perspective?

Preston Russell: It’s my one contribution that other books about Joan of Arc don’t go into. I examine every medical opinion from How has the history held up? the 1800s on and show that the diagnosis of schizophrenia is totally inaccurate. Preston Russell: You know, people think Everyone knows the word schizophrenia, she was burned at the stake and instantly that it’s associated with hallucinations and became an icon. But that wasn’t the case at hearing voices. But I trained in psychiatry all. You have to fast-forward through the for a period, and schizophrenics are pretty 16th, 17th, and 18th centuries, when French helpless people. There’s no way she was scholar Jules Michelet got curious and schizophrenic. We now know a lot more tracked down these records. He translated about brain science and mental illness, and it the trial records from the Latin; before that, just doesn’t fit. no one knew about them, even though they In 1990, one writer even put Joan of Arc knew about the legend of Joan of Arc. through the hoops of the DSM, the main If you’re familiar with Chaucer and Mid- diagnostic manual of psychiatry, and put dle English, this is sort of written in “Middle her up against the symptoms of schizophreFrench.” It came out to the world, and nia, applying the modern methods, and she subsequently within a generation she was didn’t have it. Retired Savannah physician Preston reclaimed by people like Mark Twain—who Russell applies his diagnostic skills to used to say his book about Joan of Arc was Not bad for a teenage girl, huh? Do you Joan of Arc’s mental capacities in his his best work—and the French writer Ana- think she’ll ever be forgotten? new book, Lights of Madness. tole France, who brought her out of legend into the realm of “this really happened.” Preston Russell: No. Certainly not in and Jungian models as well as brain research. France, but probably not by the world, ever. So how did her legend survive all those cs What inspired you to go back to the actual years? transcript of her trial? Savanah Book Festival: Dr. Preston Russell, author of Preston Russell: Word of mouth, I supLights of Madness Preston Russell: There were actually two pose. Like the legend of Paul Revere’s ride. Sat., 9am, First Baptist Church, Chippewa Square trials; the first before her execution in 1431. Of course there are plenty of paintings, too, Free and open to the public It was a very political trial, conducted by the but there are no from-life images of Joan church with theologians chosen by a French Arc. There are doodles from some Burgunparty that were all in bed with England. dian guy who drew what he’d about her in Today there survive five transcripts of the real time, but that’s a caricature.

Culture | Theatre

Poe play is an eerie ‘Anti-Valentine’s Day’ treat anna@connectsavannah.com

IF YOUR idea of true romance is more “Annabel Lee” than The Notebook, Savannah Stage Company is here to offer a perfect Valentine date night. In a bone-chilling kickoff to their third season, the organization presents John Hardy’s Poe, which weaves American author Edgar Allen Poe’s storied life with two of his most beloved shorts: “William Wilson” and “The Tell-Tale Heart.” “We mostly center the season around literary classics that have been adapted or abridged,” explains Director of Advancement Alexis Ambrose. “Mostly because we like to fashion theatre for all ages, so that at any show you can bring anyone of any age to that show.” This isn’t Savannah Stage Company’s

first time performing a Hardy adaptation. “We did another one of his adapted plays last summer, Oedipus the King,” Ambrose says. “We enjoy working with his scripts— he’s a wonderful writer.” “William Wilson” is a timeless doppelgänger tale with a semi-autobiographical setting, drawing inspiration from the “mistylooking village” Poe lived in as a boy in England. The school William Wilson attends ins based on the Manor House School that Poe attended from 1817 to 1820, and the school’s headmaster, Reverend John Bransby, shares a name with the headmaster in “William Wilson.” And who can forget the ominous thumping of Gothic classic “The Tell-Tale Heart”? One of Poe’s most widely-known stories, “The Tell-Tale Heart” is told in the first person by a servant who, driven mad by his master’s “vulture-eye,” murdered the old man

and hid the body in the floorboards. As he attempts to convince the reader of his sanity, the pulse of the old man’s heart, coming from somewhere under those floorboards, grows increasing louder and louder and louder. “I think that this script has a brevity that is perfect to get into the world of Edgar Allen Poe and his life,” says Ambrose excitedly. “And we like the idea of offering a kind of anti-Valentine’s Day,” she laughs. While Ampersand is their main stage, they’ll also take the show on the road, hitting local libraries, retirement homes, and schools, including Bethesda Academy, The Marshes of Skidaway, and more. “All of our shows are completely open for tour at any time,” says Ambrose. And don’t forget Savannah Stage Company’s pay-what-you-can policy. A crucial

element of their organization, the flexible cover allows any and all to see local, professional theatre. “Even if you can’t afford the $15 ticket price, we always encourage people to come pay what you can—even pay a penny—to see the show,” she says. “We always open that up ten minutes before the show opens. You can always walk right up.” Make sure to hang around on opening night for the after-party; attendees will be able to speak with and get to know the cast, as well as learn more about all of Savannah Stage Company’s exciting opportunities and upcoming season. CS Savannah Stage Company presents: Poe February 13, 14, 19, 20, 21, 27, 28 at 8pm February 22 at 2pm Ampersand $15 or pay-what-you-can

FEB 11-17, 2015

By Anna Chandler

culture | brew/drink/run

Hops & Barley comes to MLK by lee heidel lee@brewdrinkrun.com /@brewdrinkrun brewdrinkrun.com

FEB 11-17, 2015

DAVID BARKER looks the part of a craft beer mogul. As he leans back in the desk chair behind his sales counter, the long beard and relaxed attire belies the fact that his last career was actually in the buttoned-up banking industry. After spending three years in North Carolina pursuing that track, the University of Georgia business school graduate relocated back to his home town of Savannah. “I had no idea what I was going to do. I was unemployed,” he says. “A quarter life crisis to the extreme.” One thing that was certain was that David had a passion for beer and the expanding craft beer market. A two month tour of European breweries in Germany, Belgium and Austria followed, and left him with an appreciation of the origins of beer. When he came back to the States he sought part time work in a local package shop to learn more about his hobby. That knowledge led to an entrepreneurial opportunity. “With the way craft beer has grown, I thought it would be cool to have a specialty place just for beer - and not just the traditional liquor store environment,” says David. “Savannah didn’t really have anything like this.” His time in North Carolina exposed David to craft beer exclusive shops like Asheville’s Bruising’ Ales, which provided a template for his new downtown Savannah store, Hops & Barley. Hops & Barley exclusively sells American craft beers, select European beer brands and beer paraphernalia like books and glassware. The location is on a bustling section of Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard near the I-16 on-ramp. David was quick to complement the businesses around Hops & Barley, saying, “My neighbors are fantastic.” Those neighbors include printing company Cre36 ative Approach, Cuban restaurant Rancho

Allegre and tattoo parlor Kustom Hustle. “This area of MLK is definitely growing and it will continue to grow.” Formerly an art gallery, the raw space required limited build-out for the “cave” as David calls it. The dark walls and wood shelving visually echo the concept and needs of a beer cellar. “It helps with the longevity of the beer not to have a bunch of fluorescent lights,” he says. The visual showstopper in the space is the hand-built sales counter made by RetroFit Custom Design from repurposed pallet wood. Walking into the shop, visitors are greeted by a large display highlighting local Savannah breweries, perfect for both locals looking to support their hometown brewers and downtown tourists searching for native brews. Ultimately, David is looking to reach not just those in search of a solid beer choice, but also help expose traditional wine and liquor drinkers of the diversity in the beer market. “Beer has become a lot like wine. Flavor profiles are so complex that people drink it and talk about it like they would a fine wine. Subtle notes, aromas, mouthfeel. It’s to that point.” David’s next steps involve increasing his inventory. That process may eventually

out whenever it hits local shelves. Despite its relative lack of scarcity, Birra shouldn’t be overlooked, especially by those who crave a refreshing but complex beer that pairs amazingly with just about everything. David says: “This is a fantastic saison.”

Brouwerij de Halve Maan’s Straffe Hendrick Wild Tripel David Barker of Hops & Barley: ‘With the way craft beer has grown, I thought it would be cool to have a specialty place just for beer, and not just in the traditional liquor store environment.’ include an in-house bottle aging program. But for now, he’s concentrating on educating and serving his growing customer base. “Hopefully people can find good beers they’ve never had before and leave wanting to come back after having a good experience.”

Pick 3: Hops & Barley’s David Barker

I asked David to choose three beers from his current inventory that he thinks people should try. These were his selections.

Prairie Artisan Ales’ Birra

This Oklahoma brewery has only been in Georgia for a few months and its fantastic spiced imperial stout Bomb! quickly sells

Direct from Bruges, this funky, slightly sour beer benefits from the addition of brettanomyces yeast which complements traditional tripel notes of pepper and bubblegum. David says: “A lot of people say brett smells like horse blanket, but I love it. It tastes great.”

Brauerei Heller-Trum / Schlenkerla’s Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Märzen

If you’ve never had a “smoked” beer, this is the real deal. This savory treat is a unique sensory experience for those who want to taste the outer limits of what beer can be. David says: “I’m a sucker for German stuff and I love rauchbier. This is bacon beer…in a good way.” cs For more information about Hops & Barley, visit them at 412 Martin Luther King Jr Blvd or online at hopsandbarleysav.com.

artpatrol@connectsavannah.com

Openings & Receptions

Making Change - beauty of reformed trash — Lisa

Rosenmeier presents her artwork consisting of reformed trash. Free Mondays-Sundays.. Paintedskystudio@gmail.com. sentientbean.com. The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave.

Michael Banks Artist Reception — Enjoy refresh-

ments and hors d’oeuvres while speaking to Michael about his work and inspiration. Thu., Feb. 12, 5 p.m. Roots Up Gallery, 6 E. Liberty Street.

New Beginning Youth Art Exhibition — Held each

Paradise Lost — Blick Gallery Presents:

Paradise Lost; an employee group art show that examines the pain that lurks in the shadows of love. Blick’s talented employees have put together a collection of artworks using a variety of mediums, which showcase both their strengths and their perception of the world around them. The show will hang during the month of February. Reception Feb. 12 from 6-8pm. Thu., Feb. 12, 6-8 p.m. 912-234-0456. www.dickblick.com. dickblick.com/primaryartsupply/. Blick Art Materials, 318 East Broughton St.

Continuing Exhibits An Artistic Discovery Juried Art Exhibition —

This juried exhibition includes students in Georgia’s 1st Congressional District. Reception Feb. 15 at 2pm. Through Feb. 13. 912-344-3169. finearts.armstrong. edu. Armstrong Fine Arts Center, 11935 Abercorn St.

Chelsea Warlick — Chelsea Warlick is a cultural, travel and documentary photographer who explores other cultures from the inside out. Through Feb. 27. savannahjea. org. Jewish Educational Alliance, 5111 Abercorn St. Deborah Mueller — February’s artist of the

month is Deborah Auleatha Mueller. Deborah’s beautiful Stoneware and Raku clay works are creations inspired by her surroundings and at times Asian design. Her work is both functional and decorative and is internationally collected. Mondays-Sundays, 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m.. 912-236-4583. Gallery209savannah.com. Gallery209savannah.com. gallery209savannah.com/. Gallery 209, 209 E River St.

Fluid Horizon — Christina Edwards presents

Fluid Horizon, an exploration of the rich world of color abstraction. She creates her landscape by pouring one translucent layer of color onto the surface at a time, resulting in a richly textured painting. Through March 1. Lili’s Restaurant Bar, 326 Johnny Mercer Blvd.

Freshly Curvilinear: Art Glass by David Russell — From molten glass, Russell creates

wonderfully arched and vibrantly colored art glass. Currently residing in Camden, South Carolina, Russell studied the art of glass working with masters at the Penland School of Crafts in the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Pilchuck Glass School in Stanwood, Washington, and the Corning Museum of Glass in New York State. Through Feb. 28. 912-721-5007. dayna. caldwell@kesslercollection.com. grandbohemiangallery.com/. The Grand Bohemian Gallery, 700 Drayton St.

Reception for Michael Banks is this Thursday at Roots Up Gallery Heart and Soul — Amber Higgins displays her

glass jewelry and Donna Dowless presents her mixed media works at this romancethemed show. Through Feb. 28. grandbohemiangallery.com/. The Grand Bohemian Gallery, 700 Drayton St.

Katja Loher: Beeplanet — A featured exhibi-

tion for the 2015 PULSE Art + Technology Festival, Beeplanet focuses on the work of the Swiss-born artist Katja Loher, a leader among the next generation of video artists. Loher’s work takes video out of conventional modern contexts and into wall-mounted video portals and hand-blown glass bubbles. By peering into these orbs, viewers enter a parallel universe of performances by costumed dancers, entirely scripted, choreographed, and filmed by Loher. Environmental themes play a large role in the artist’s recent works, touching on endangered species, bee colony collapse, and speculation on whether humans can fulfill the essential roles that these creatures play. Through April 12. telfair.org/ jepson/. Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St.

Low Country Scenes: Coastal Images by Bryan Stovall & Les Wilkes — Les Wilkes and Bryan

Stovall have teamed up to showcase some of their most captivating low country scenes shot in black and white, and many in infrared. As always, a portion of sales benefits Hospice Savannah’s Daily Impact Fund which provides unique services to patients, families and our community not otherwise covered by Medicare or other insurances. Through March 31. hospicesavannah.org/artgallery. hospicesavannah. org/. Hospice Savannah, 1352 Eisenhower Dr.

year in conjunction with the Savannah Black Heritage Festival, works developed for this year’s exhibition will focus on the 2015 festival theme, Today’s Youth; Tomorrow’s Legacy. Each year the festival presents activities for every age and interest. This year’s exhibition includes over 285 works from 10 middle schools and seven high schools from the Savannah Chatham County School system. A wide range of media will be on display including works on paper, canvas, wood, clay, and recycled materials. Winning artists will be announced at the opening reception. Through Feb. 27. 912-651-6783. savannahga. gov/arts. City of Savannah Department of Cultural Affairs, 9 West Henry St.

Classes Acrylic Painting Basics — This ongoing class is designed to meet the student where they are in their painting experience, whether they are just beginning or have been painting a while. Instructor Lind Hollingsworth will focus on individual goals while paying attention to the artistic elements and techniques unique to acrylics. $140 per 4 week session Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m.-noon. 912-398-7475. lind.art@comcast.net. theStudioSchoolSavannah.com. Studio School, 1319 Bull St. Basic Drawing and Painting (Oils) — Open to all

levels, this class will focus on drawing and painting skills with still life arrangements and independent projects. $40-$315 Thursdays, 9:30 a.m.-noon. 912-5077138. thestudioschoolsavannah.com. Studio School, 1319 Bull St.

Basic Oil Painting — Open to all levels, this

class will focus on oil painting fundamentals and observational drawing. Students will paint still life arrangements in an alla Romantic Spirits: Nineteenth-Century Paintings from prima (all at once) technique. 4 weeks is the Johnson Collection — Exhibit examines the $140, 10 weeks is $315, and the drop-in romantic movement in the American South. fee is $40/class. Taught by Karen Glenn Through Feb. 15. telfair.org. Telfair AcadBradley. $40-$315 Saturdays, 1-4 p.m.. emy of Arts and Sciences, 121 Barnard St. 912-507-7138. thestudioschoolsavannah. com. Studio School, 1319 Bull St. Standard Deviation — A group exhibition exploring diversity of subject and medium, Beginning Metalsmithing — This is an introducwhile keeping to the standard 8x10 format. tory course to metalsmithing. The focus of Reception Feb. 13, 6-8pm. Through March this course is to introduce basic tools and 2. galleryespresso.com/. Gallery Espresso, techniques used by jewelers. Students will 234 Bull St. use both sterling silver and copper to create W.W. Law Art Collection: Paintings by Ken Herrington and Richard Low Evans — This exhibit

features original watercolor paintings of Savannah scenes by artists Richard Low Evans (1915-1998) and Ken Herrington. Through June 30. Savannah City Hall, 2 East Bay Street.

W.W. Law Exhibit — This exhibit, through a partnership with the Live Oak Public Libraries, features a selection of linocut prints by Chicago artist Margaret T. Burroughs (1915-2010). Like W. W. Law, Burroughs worked to preserve and share African American art, culture and history as cofounder of the DuSable Museum of African American History in Chicago. Burroughs was an artist, poet, educator, advocate, and activist for the art community and the African American community in Chicago. While she worked in many mediums, she is best known as a skilled printmaker, using the medium to communicate positive images of African American history and culture. Through June 30. liveoakpl.org. liveoakpl.org/. Carnegie Branch Library, 537 East Henry St.

several pieces of jewelry. Basic soldering skills will also be taught. Expect to get your hands dirty! Ages 17+. Instructor: Christi Reiterman. $150/$140 city resident Wednesdays, 6-9 p.m.. 912-651-6783. savannahga.gov/arts. City of Savannah Department of Cultural Affairs, 9 West Henry St. Beginning Oil Painting — This class focuses

on the fundamental techniques of painting with oil-based paint. The subject matter will range from still-lifes to old master studies and photography. Specifically, students will explore techniques from the basic understanding of “fat over lean” to imprimatura, grisaille, impasto, and alla prima. Instructor: Woody Cornwell Members $175, Non-members $200 Mondays, 1-4 p.m. telfair.org/jepson/. Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St.

Beginning Wheel Throwing — This introductory

class will teach you the basics of throwing clay on the potter’s wheel. Trimming and decorative techniques will be taught to give each vessel its own flair. Students will work at their own pace and receive individual attention. Ages 17+. Instructor: Clair Buckner. $150/$140 city resident Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.. 912651-6783. savannahga.gov/arts. City of Savannah Department of Cultural Affairs, 9 West Henry St.

FEB 11-17, 2015

culture | art patrol

film Screenshots

by Matt Brunson | myeahmatt@gmail.com

JUPITER ASCENDING

OO While Jupiter Ascending may be a screen original concocted by siblings Andy and Lana Wachowski, it feels no less a YA rip than Seventh Son. The heroine is Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a Russian immigrant who discovers she possesses the same DNA as an otherworldly (and deceased) queen and thus engages in a power struggle with the royal’s three bratty children (Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth and Tuppence Middleton) for control of our planet. Helping Jupiter out is a wolfman named Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), who lost his wings (that would make him a birdman instead of a wolfman had Michael Keaton not patented the concept) but hopes to gain them back at the moment that George Bailey’s daughter Zuzu rings a bell in Bedford Falls. Or something. There’s actually a seed of a good idea buried in Jupiter Ascending, particularly in its themes relating to class struggles, the weight of historical bloodlines, and the notion of Earth as a gambling chip (all also pondered in the Wachowskis’ woefully underrated Cloud Atlas). But the entire project suffers from a severe case of overkill, with the Wachowskis offering too much arid exposition and too many artless explosions. The film is packed with odd creatures, but few feel original: An elephant-like pilot seems to have been ported over from the Star Wars universe, while the dinosaurs serving as villainous henchmen bring to mind those ridiculous Goombas from that dreadful Super Mario Bros. movie. As for Jupiter, she proves to be far too passive a heroine, relying on the able Caine to repeatedly come to her rescue. The performances are all on the subtle side, with the notable exception of, yes, Eddie Redmayne. His turn as Balem Abrasax is risible, and it’s impossible to stifle

CARMIKE 10 511 Stephenson Ave. 353-8683

Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, Project Almanac, Into the Woods, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, The Imitation Game, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1

FEB 11-17, 2015

spotlight EISENHOWER

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Jupiter Ascending, The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, American Sniper, Paddington, The Imitation Game, Birdman

Channing Taum and Mila Kunis rocket through the solar system in Jupiter Ascending

giggles whenever he speaks, whether in hushed tones or loud declarations. His performance as Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything is rightly admired, but in this misfire, he seems only capable of providing a brief history of ham.

SEVENTH SON

OP In the case of Julianne Moore, her probable victory for Still Alice won’t be at all threatened by her turn in Seventh Son. She’s perfectly acceptable as the story’s heavy, a witch known by the rather benign name of Mother Malkin. Her performance is no worse than those delivered by a sizable number of A-list actresses recently cast as matriarchal evildoers in magical realms: Rachel Weisz, Julia Roberts, Charlize Theron, the absurdly Oscar-nominated Meryl Streep, etc. No, the guffaw-worthy turn in Seventh Son comes from the cast member already blessed with an Oscar—that would be topbilled Jeff Bridges as Master John Gregory, an elderly knight now renowned for his witch- and spirit-hunting abilities. Doubtless realizing he’s wallowing in

REGAL SAVANNAH 10 1132 Shawnee St. 927-7700

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, Black or White, The Loft, The Boy Next Door, American Sniper, Paddington, The Wedding Ringer, A Most Violent Year, Selma

VICTORY SQUARE 9 1901 E. Victory 355-5000

Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, Black or White, Project Almanac, The Loft, The Hobbit: The Boy Next Door, American Sniper, Paddington, Taken 3

nonsense, Bridges gives his otherwise bland character a unique accent (speech impediment?), delivering all of his lines as a mix of his True Grit character, a belligerent walrus, and a 45 rpm record played at 33-1/3 rpm. Beyond Bridges’ ham-on-wry performance, there’s nothing remotely original about Seventh Son, which is based on a YA novel—The Spook’s Apprentice in its UK homeland, The Last Apprentice: Revenge of the Witch on this side of the Atlantic—but might as well be based on 10,000 previous fantasy flicks. Seeking a new assistant in his battle against the dark arts, Master Gregory seeks out a young farmhand named Tom Ward (bland Ben Barnes), who’s the Chosen One since he’s the seventh son of a seventh son. But complications develop when Tom falls for Mother Malkin’s niece, a good witch named Alice (Swedish actress Alicia Vikander, seen to better effect in Anna Karenina and A Royal Affair). On top of that, there’s the sordid history between Master Gregory and Mother Malkin, since they once were lovers. And then there’s the gargantuan secret that Tom’s mother (Olivia Williams) is keeping from

him. Presumably, not even a full season of General Hospital contains this much hoary, hamfisted melodrama. Considering the film wasn’t shot in 3-D but was converted at a later date in the postproduction process, the visuals are pretty good, demonstrating we’ve come a long way since the muddy eyesore vistas of Alice in Wonderland and Clash of the Titans. But when everything taking place within the screen parameters is so dull and uninspired, it’s hard to get too excited by a crisp look. Mother Malkin has the ability to turn into a dragon at will, but—to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen’s retort to Dan Quayle—I screened Smaug; I knew Smaug. Mother, you’re no Smaug (or Jack Kennedy, for that matter). Similarly, the ethereal spirits look like unused apparitions from Bridges’ debacle R.I.P.D., while the enterprise as a whole has a whiff of Eragon ineptitude to it. But I was amused by Tusk, a lumbering man-beast who helps out our heroes from time to time. There’s a scene in which Tusk is shown not to wash his hands after relieving himself, and it was at that moment when I realized this ugly ogre with a bad haircut and poor hygiene was the spitting image of U.S. Senator Thom “Let them eat doodoo!” Tillis.

A MOST VIOLENT YEAR

OOOP One of the best films of 2014—and, it should be noted, the best film of 2014 not to receive a single Oscar nomination (at least the National Board of Review picked up the Academy’s slack by naming it Best Picture)—A Most Violent Year takes us back to 1981, when New York City was experiencing one of the most crime-riddled years in its often brutal history. Yet those ample instances of robbery, rape and murder

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Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, Project Almanac, Into the Woods, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, The Imitation Game, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, Project Almanac, The Loft, The Boy Next Door, American Sniper, Paddnigton, The Wedding Ringer, Taken 3, Selma

Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, Black or White, Project Almanac, The Loft, Strange Magic, The Boy Next Door, American Sniper, Paddington, The Wedding Ringer, Taken 3

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water screens at 7 p.m. Thursday, February 12, and at 6 and 8 p.m. on Friday, February 13

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are almost nowhere to be seen in this picture, the third from writer-director J.C. Chandor (following 2011’s Margin Call and 2013’s All Is Lost). Instead, the violence is unleashed in more subtle ways, and it’s one man’s sizable piece of the American Dream that ends up getting mercilessly pillaged and plundered. The man is Abel Morales (Oscar Isaac), an immigrant who began small and now controls his own oil-heating company. With the support of his wife Anna ( Jessica Chastain) and his lawyer Andrew Walsh (Albert Brooks), Abel is ready to expand, an empire-building lunge that threatens to fall short thanks to a series of misfortunes. One of his rivals in the oil-heating business (who knew it was such a cutthroat racket?) has been hiring thugs to beat up his drivers. A zealous district attorney (David Oyelowo, Selma’s MLK) is determined to uncover corruption in Abel’s organization, even, it seems, if none exists. And practically everyone, including his tough-as-nails wife (the daughter of a prominent gangster, no less) is urging him to resort to violence to save his business, especially by allowing his drivers to carry firearms. But Abel Morales is an intriguing man who marches to his own beat, and he’s nsomeone not open to easy analysis. Like Al Pacino’s Michael Corleone in The Godfather—when he was still young, bright and idealistic, not old, weary and wary—he acknowledges that he lives in a dirty world but nevertheless wants to keep his hands clean by subscribing to a rigid moral code that won’t allow him to take the easy way out. But the more Abel struggles to maintain a degree of honor, the more he feels the walls closing in around him. Isaac, previously seen to great effect in the Coens’ Inside Llewyn Davis, is equally compelling here, portraying a character so careful in his thoughts, words and deeds that you can practically see the mental wheels turning as he examines any given scenario and enunciates his measured response. Starting with that misleading title, A Most Violent Year is a movie in which nothing unfolds as expected. It’s a talky drama made for grown-ups (a radical concept, I know!), but that doesn’t mean Chandor isn’t above interrupting the lengthy discourses with a burst of kinetic action, including a pair of foot chases that don’t convey the expected excitement but rather illustrate the sheer exhaustiveness of such situations. Most of the film operates in that same gritty fashion: With expert lensing by cinematographer Bradford Young—who, incidentally, also shot Selma—it remains on the prowl primarily through the city’s industrialized

12-month period in which scores of citizens found nothing wrong with unarmed black males being killed by (inept at best, evil at worst) white cops but found everything wrong with the casting of a black child as a fictional cartoon character—it seems only proper that 2014 should end with a film that comfortingly casts a ray of light into the darkness of despair. Selma may be set in 1965, but its issues, its conflicts and, most importantly, its idealism remain front and center five decades later. The script by first-timer Paul Webb examines the period when Martin Luther King Jr. (David Oyelowo) sought and fought for equal voting rights. From meeting with Ben Barnes and Jeff Bridges star in the epic fantasy Seventh Son a reluctant President Lyndon B. Johnson (Tom Wilkinson) to strategizing with his friends and colleagues, King works tirelessly Lopez has shown a commitment to cinback streets (no milling Times Square ematic stability. Back in 2002, she starred in for his cause, always aware of the dangers crowds here), a serene, subdued style that, coupled with Chandor’s fatalistic script, the abysmal Enough, another movie in which that face both him and his supporters. But King won’t be deterred, and he ends up stagprovides for a viewing experience rife with she’s terrorized by a violent brute. Perhaps ing a landmark march between the Alabama tension and a mounting sense of dread. So The Boy Next Door should have been writtowns of Selma and Montgomery. does it all end with the celebratory pop of ten as a sequel to Enough; that way, it could Ava DuVernay, a former publicist, makes a champagne cork, or the fatalistic pop of a have arrived with the critic-friendly title an assured leap onto the national stage, probullet to the head? It would betray my own Enough Already. viding direction that’s sturdy but unfussy. moral code to answer that. There’s no need for pumped-up histrionAMERICAN SNIPER ics when history itself has provided such a THE BOY NEXT DOOR OOP O compelling blueprint, and DuVernay wisely American Sniper turns out to be one of Back in 1944, “The Boy Next Door” was the better Clint Eastwood releases of recent allows all emotions to naturally flow from Webb’s script. Selma is a film full of feeling, a popular tune sung by Judy Garland in the vintage, relating the story of Chris Kyle musical masterpiece Meet Me in St. Louis. (Bradley Cooper), a U.S. Navy Seal shooter particularly when dealing with the heavy weight of tragedy. Fast forward to 2015, and The Boy Next famous (infamous?) for recording more After an unarmed young man is shot Door refers to a Jennifer Lopez movie cerkills than anyone else in American military dead by a cop (plus ça change, plus c’est la tain to induce groans at theaters in St. Louis, history. même chose), King comforts his grandfather St. Ives and anywhere else this hellish drama Unfortunately, American Sniper adds might pop up. nothing new to the conversation of gun vio- by whispering, “God was the first to cry for your boy”—the most beautiful line of diaReminiscent of the dopey “women in lence and hero worship. While Eastwood logue from any 2014 film. peril” thrillers that blotted the landscape in and scripter Jason Hall take some care in As King, Oyelowo is faced with a probthe years surrounding Y2K, The Boy Next muddying the morality at play, they still err lem dodged by, say, The Imitation Game’s Door stars Lopez as Claire Peterson, a high on the side of sainthood in painting their Benedict Cumberbatch. Few know much school teacher living alone with her teenage portrait of Chris Kyle, a man whose more about the real-life figure of Alan Turing, so son Kevin (Ian Nelson) in the aftermath of tasteless actions and comments have been Cumberbatch had a bit more leeway in carvlearning about her husband Garrett’s ( John white scrubbed from this biopic. ing out their characterizations. But everyone Corbett) infidelity. American Sniper features a solid turn by knows what MLK looked and sounded like, When hunky Noah Sandborn (Ryan Cooper and a few sequences that pack a which places Oyelowo at a disadvantage. Guzman) moves in next door to tend to his visceral kick, but a little more complexity No worries there: Oyelowo may not ailing grandfather ( Jack Wallace), Claire would have allowed the picture to score a especially look like King, but his is such a more direct hit. can’t help but be distracted by his gentlecommanding performance that he ends up manly conduct, Good Samaritan deeds and thoroughly filling out the man. As Coretta that absolutely ripped bod. SELMA Scott King, Carmen Ejogo is also effective, Noah is 19 years old, but life circumOOOP with her scenes opposite Oyelowo in essence stances (namely, the deaths of his parents) There were better movies released durhelping to humanize King and making it have led to him still being in high school. At ing 2014 than Selma—though all could be harder for the naysayers to accuse the picany rate, Noah’s hot for teacher, and when counted on just one hand with the thumb ture of unfiltered hagiography. CS he makes a pass at her, she responds favorneatly tucked underneath—but were there ably to his pawing. But the morning after any that were more topical, more important, their rapturous lovemaking, Claire realizes more monumental? That’s up for debate she made a mistake; for his part, Noah pro- and open to discussion; still, in a year that fesses to love her and goes bonkers when she saw the United States take a huge step spurns his further advances. backwards on the path to racial balance—a 39

FEB 11-17, 2015

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happenings We reserve the right to edit or cut listings because of space limitations.

Activism & Politics

13th Colony Patriots

Conservative political activists that meet the 13th of each month. Dedicated to preserving the U.S. Constitution and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. See Facebook page for meeting location. Free 13th of every month, 6:30-8:30 p.m. 912604-4048. liveoakstore.com/tubbysthunderbolt. Tubby's Tank House (Thunderbolt), 2909 River Dr. Coastal Georgia Indicators Coalition, Inc. District 2 Meeting

CGIC is seeking businesses, organizations or other community stakeholders to serve as champions to advocate, provide support and increase awareness, and concerned and engaged residents to provide feedback. Neighborhood meetings have already been scheduled for the following Chatham County voting districts and residents in these areas are invited and encouraged to attend. Tue., Feb. 17, 5:30-7 p.m. liveoakpl.org. Bull Street Library, 2002 Bull St. Coastal Georgia Indicators Coalition, Inc. District 8 Meeting

CGIC is seeking businesses, organizations or other community stakeholders to serve as champions to advocate, provide support and increase awareness, and concerned and engaged residents to provide feedback. Neighborhood meetings have already been scheduled for the following Chatham County voting districts and residents in these areas are invited and encouraged to attend. Thu., Feb. 12, 5:30-7 p.m. Forest City Library, 1501 Stiles Ave. Monday Means Community

Get involved. Contact is Michael Johnson, via email or telephone, or see website for info. 912-604-0797. chairman@sayr.org. sayr.org. Call or see website for information. Free ongoing. 912-308-3020. savannahyoungrepublicans.com. Savannah Libertarians

Join the Facebook group to find out about upcoming local events. Mondays. Facebook.com/groups/SAVlibertarians.

FEB 11-17, 2015

Savannah Tea Party

5pm social time. 5:30pm meeting begins. 6pm speaker. Reservations not necessary. Free to attend. Food and beverages available for purchase. Mondays, 5:30 p.m.. 912-598-7358. savannahteaparty. com. liveoakstore.com/tubbysthunderbolt. Tubby's Tank House (Thunderbolt), 2909 River Dr. Veterans for Peace

Local chapter 170 of VFP, a national

40 organization of military veterans of all eras

40 compiled by Rachael Flora | happenings@connectsavannah.com Happenings is Connect Savannah’s listing of community gatherings, events, classes and groups. If you want an event listed, email happenings@connectsavannah.com. Include specific dates, time, locations with addresses, cost and a contact number. Deadline for inclusion is 5pm Friday, to appear in next Wednesday’s edition.

waging peace and exposing the costs of war. Meets every first Thursday at 7:30pm. ongoing. 303-550-1158. St. Frances Cabrini Church, 11500 Middleground Road. Young Democrats

Mondays at 7pm on the second level of Foxy Loxy, Bull Street. Call or visit the Young Democrats Facebook page for more information. Free ongoing. 423-619-7712. foxyloxycafe.com/. Foxy Loxy Cafe, 1919 Bull St. Auditions and Calls for Entries

Call for Applications to Business Development Program

Rives E. Worrell Co., a JE Dunn Construction Company, is now accepting applications for its Minority Contractor Business Development (MCBD) Program. The program provides a venue for minorityand women-owned firms in constructionrelated fields to participate in a training program to enhance business acumen and interpersonal and relationship-building skills. Participants chosen for each sixmonth class have access to a full day of training each month, free of charge. Courses begin March 12, 2015. Deadline for the application is February 13. Through Feb. 13. 912-335-1386. cherelle.cortez@ jedunn.com. Savannah Entrepreneurial Center, 801 E. Gwinnett Street.

c7b. shipsofthesea.org. Ships of The Sea Museum, 41 Martin Luther King Jr Blvd. Call for Grant Applications for the Savannah Friends of Music

The Savannah Friends of Music organization announces that grant applications are now being accepted until Wednesday, April 15. These grants are meant to help fund programs that fulfill their mission, which is to support, sponsor and promote music programs and musical education in the greater Savannah area. Eligible programs can be either a one-time event or an ongoing series. Applications must be completed and submitted by Wednesday, April 15. Recipients will be named shortly thereafter. Through April 15. savannahfriendsofmusic. com. Downtown Savannah, downtown. Call for Local Artist

Gallery 11 seeks an artist to join its cooperative gallery. Must live in the Savannah area and submit representative samples of your artwork, resume/bio, website, etc. for jury process. Inquire weekdays 11am-5pm at 912-598-8217 or 912-925-5465. Through March 1. Gallery 11, 309 W. Julian Street. Call for Proposals for 2015 Weave-a-Dream

The City of Savannah's Weave-a-Dream Panel has issued a call for proposals for its 2015 cultural and arts projects initiative. Applications will be accepted through the calendar year, while funds are available. Call for Artists Programs are to be completed prior to The Sentient Bean seeks experienced art- October 1, 2015. Project funding is availists for one-month-long exhibitions of his/ able up to $2,000 for specific and innovaher work. Artists must have a website with tive arts, cultural, or heritage projects or current images representing a sample of presentations that have a measurable, the work to be shown in order to be conquantifiable benefit to Savannah’s disidered. Apply to sentientbooking@gmail. verse populations. The Weave-A-Dream com, subject line “art show." See webcommittee seeks proposals that actively site for info. Fridays.. sentientbean.com/ involve youth, seniors, and those who have booking#visualarts. sentientbean.com. The limited access to arts based programs in Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. Savannah. Programs engaging participates Call for Entries for Savannah Stopover's Band ranging from 6 -11 graders with disciplines Poster Juried Exhibition of production, animation, photography Art Rise Savannah welcomes the city’s desktop publishing, CAD, metalworking graphic and visual artists to create posters and carpentry are of particular interest to inspired by the individual bands from the Weave-A-Dream. While other programs 2015 lineup. These include local bands such as performing, visual, media, theater, as well as touring bands from around folk, design (architecture), or literary arts the country. Artists are invited to choose are also encouraged to apply. To be eligible a band from the Festival lineup listing at for consideration, an organization must be savannahstopover.com and create a poster a non-profit, 501c3, head-quartered in Sainspired by that band using the specificavannah’s corporate limits. Proposed protions listed here. Additional acts, including grams must also be produced within the local bands, will be announced January City’s corporate limits. No individual artist 16th, 2015. Semi-Finalists will be included applications will be accepted. Through in an exhibition of posters in the Jepson Aug. 2. 912-651-5988 ext. 8969. rbrown02@ Center Atrium from March 2 - 9, 2015. savannahga.gov. savannahga.gov/arts. Through Feb. 16. artrisesavannah.org. Art City of Savannah Department of Cultural Rise Savannah, 2427 Desoto Ave. Affairs, 9 West Henry St. Call For Entries: Maritime Arts Festival

On May 9, 2015, Ships of the Sea will hold its first “Maritime Arts Festival.” The event is a one day outdoor exhibition of maritime related arts, crafts, and antiques. The Museum invites artists, model ship builders, and antique dealers to submit images of their maritime/nautical related paintings, drawings, ceramics, jewelry, prints, mixed-media, woodworking, and collectable pieces for consideration. Through April 16. shipsofthesea.org/#!arts-festival/

City of Savannah TV Show Seeks Entries

The City of Savannah's TV station, SGTV, seeks profiles, documentaries, animations, original music videos, histories or other original works by or about the citizens of Savannah to run on "Engage," a television show produced by the city. No compensation. SGTV offers an opportunity to expose local works to over 55,000 households in Chatham County. Submit proposals via website. Saturdays.. savannahga.gov/engagesgtv.

Gallery Seeks Local Artists

Kobo Gallery, 33 Barnard Street, seeks 2-D and 3-D artists to join its cooperative gallery. Must be a full-time resident of Savannah or nearby area. Work to be considered includes painting, photography, mixed media, sculpture, glass, ceramics and wood. Submit 5-10 images of work, resume/CV and bio to info@kobogallery. com. Mondays. Kobo Gallery, 33 Barnard Street ,. Homeschool Music Classes

Music classes for homeschool students ages 8-18 and their parents. Offered in Guyton and Savannah. See website for details. ongoing. CoastalEmpireMusic.com. Oatland Island Seeks Memories and Recollections for 40th Anniversary

Oatland Island Education Center is looking for memories of Oatland Island in honor of their 40th anniversary. People who were part of the Youth Conservation Corp that helped to build Oatland Island Education Center in the 1970’s. Great memories from field trips. Special family memories of Oatland Island. Send your photos and stories to memories@oatland40th.org. Deadline is August 31. undefined. 912-395-1500. oatlandisland.org. Benefits

Chatham County Animal Control Seeks Donations of Items

Chatham County Animal Control seeks items for pets in the facility. Canned and dry dog and cat food, baby formula, newspaper, paper towels, soaps, crates, leashes, collars, wash cloths, towels. Open daily, 1pm-5pm. Mondays.. 912351-6750. animalcontrol.chathamcounty. org. Chatham County Animal Shelter, 7215 Sallie Mood Dr. Forsyth Farmers Market Seeks Sponsors

Market sponsors invest in a healthy community and support the local economy. Sponsorships begin at $350. Help keep food fresh and local. Tuesdays.. kristen@ forsythfarmersmarket.com. forsythfarmersmarket.com. forsythfarmersmarket. com/. Forsyth Farmers' Market, 501 Whitaker St., South End of Forysth Park. The Giving Week

Sweetwater Brewing and United Distributors are releasing a special beer, called Second Helping, in which 100% of the profits will be donated to The Giving Kitchen. The Giving Kitchen is a non-profit that offers Service Industry members grants in times of crisis. Wed., Feb. 11. 912-414-0418. distillerysavannah.com. The Distillery, 416 W. Liberty St. Hearts for Heroes Red Tie Gala

Come alone and meet new friends, come as a couple, or come as a group. Enjoy a live auction, the Fabulous Boomers Band, and photographs by David Shuler Photography. Wear cocktail attire. Tickets are going fast, so advance purchase is recommended. $50 Sat., Feb. 14, 6:30 p.m. 912-748-0110. office@poolerchamber. com. poolerchamber.com. mightyeighth. org/. Mighty Eighth Air Force Museum, 175 Bourne Ave.

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$5 Bikram Yoga Class to Benefit Local Charities

Bikram Yoga Savannah offers a weekly Karma class to raise money for local charities. Thursdays during the 6:30pm class. Pay $5 for class and proceeds are donated to a different charity each month. This is a regular Bikram Yoga class. ongoing. 912.356.8280. bikramyogasavannah. com. Rotary Club Fundraiser

The Abba Girlz Tribute Band will perform at the fundraiser, and the City Center will be turned into a 1970s nightclub with special cocktails prepared for the event. The funds raised will help Rotary continue scholarships for school children and give grants to the YMCA, the Ogeechee Riverkeeper and Family Promise. Sat., Feb. 14, 6:30 p.m. rotaryofrichmondhill.org. Richmond Hill City Center, 520 Cedar Street. SCMPD Animal Control seeks Volunteers

Savannah Chatham County Animal Control seeks volunteers to serve various tasks as needed by the shelter. No prior animal shelter experience is necessary. Newly trained volunteers will be authorized to serve immediately after orientation. Potential volunteers are asked to notify J. Lewis prior to orientation; though, walk-ins are welcome. Volunteers must be at least 17-years-old. ongoing. (912) 5252151. jlewis01@savannahga.gov. Classes, Camps & Workshops

Argentine Tango Beyond Basics Group Class

A class for advanced beginners in Argen-

tine Tango. Prerequisite: knowledge of Basic elements of Argentine Tango. No partner required. This is a 4 week course that will progress each week. $35 Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.. 912.312.3549. salondebaile. dance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive.

“Mew Coup” –didn’t see that one coming. by matt Jones | Answers on page 45

Across

3 Tropical 4 OK to ingest 5 Wear out your welcome 6 Leftorium proprietor on “The Simpsons” 7 Estrada of “CHiPs” 8 Half a fitness motto 9 Like some fog 10 Like berries and oysters 11 “Fanfare for the Common Man” composer Copland 12 “Grand Canyon Suite” composer Ferde ___ 16 Adobe creations? 18 Dusseldorf denial 22 Jazz pianist-singer Diana 24 ___ firma 27 Cassette parts 29 Good buddy 30 Abbr. on a rap sheet 31 Feature of Algonquin Round Table discussions 33 Acts as accomplice 35 City in 2016 sports news 36 Solemn words 37 Mitt Romney’s wife 39 Words after “know” or “settle” 40 Pearly whites 41 Excuse given by those who hire artists and pay nothing 46 ___ test 48 Get ___ on the knuckles 49 Reporters and their entourage 50 Key using all the black keys, for short 51 Drew in 52 Deadly sin 53 Citrus peel in a mixed drink 55 Like Joyce 56 More than mean 57 Non-dairy spreads 59 Cuatro y cuatro 63 “A spider!!”

Art Classes at The Studio School

Ongoing weekly drawing and painting classes for youth and adults. See website, send email or call for details. 912-4846415. melindaborysevicz@gmail.com. thestudioschoolsavannah.com. Art, Music, Piano, Voice Coaching

Coaching for all ages, beginners through advanced. Classic, modern, jazz improvization and theory. Serious inquiries only. 912-961-7021 or 912-667-1056. Beading Classes

Offered every weekend at Perlina Beadshop, 6 West State Street. Check website calendar or call for info. 912-441-2656. perlinabeadshop.com.

Beading Classses at Epiphany Bead & Jewelry Studio

Learn jewelry-making techniques from beginner to advanced. Call for class times. 912-920-6659. Epiphany Bead & Jewelry Studio, 407 East Montgomery Xrds. Beginner Guitar Class

8 week guitar course for complete beginners. Classes offered for adults and teenagers ages 13 and up. Covers basic chords and strumming techniques, rhythm, tuning, and use of a flatpick. Email savannah-

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1 “American Horror Story” actress Lily 5 Outdo by a little 10 Get droopy 13 Just slightly 14 Vice ___ 15 Gunfight at the O.K. Corral name 17 Quip, Part 1 19 2003/2005/2007 AL MVP, familiarly 20 Feller’s warning 21 Quip, Part 2 23 Do master 25 “Game of ___” 26 Get in 28 “___ Can Cook” 29 Dog’s foot 32 Floor space 34 Metamorphic stage 38 Quip, Part 3 42 Bat maker’s tool 43 “I’ll take ‘Cartoons’ for $200, ___” 44 Control 45 Elusive swimmer 47 3/17 honoree, for short 50 “Nuts!” 54 Actress Mira 58 Quip, Part 4 60 Of a pelvic bone 61 Affleck flick 62 Quip, Part 5 64 Bit of sarcasm 65 Cinema seater 66 “___ perpetua” (Idaho’s motto) 67 Beats by ___ (brand of audio equipment) 68 Add fuel to the fire 69 Explanations

Down

1 Flat floaters 2 Took the hit, financially

FEB 11-17, 2015

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schooloffolkmusic@gmail.com to sign up. $120 Tuesdays, 6-7 p.m.. savannahschooloffolkmusic@gmail.com. Ms. Amy's School of Music, 2421 Waters Avenue. Beginning Belly Dance Classes

Taught by Happenstance Bellydance. All skill levels and styles. Private instruction available. $15 912-704-2940. happenstancebellydance@gmail.com. happenstancebellydance.wordpress.com. Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Champions Training Center

Offering a variety of classes and training in mixed martial arts, jui-jitsu, judo and other disciplines for children and adults. All skill levels. 525 Windsor Rd. 912-349-4582. ctcsavannah.com. Chatham County Sheriff's Office Explorers Post 876

Chatham County Sheriff's Office Explorers Post 876, is taking applications from young men and women (ages 14-20) interested in law enforcement careers. Explorers experience mentoring, motivation, and learn skills which help prepare them for their roles as productive citizens. See Chatham County Sheriff's web page, click "Community/Explorers Post 876 or call. Wednesdays.. 912-651-3743. chathamsheriff.org. Chinese Language Classes

The Confucius Institute at Savannah State University offers free Chinese language classes starting January 17. To register, please call 912-358-3160. ongoing. 912358-3160. confuciusinstitute@savannahstate.edu. savannahstate.edu. savstate. edu/. Savannah State University, 3219 College St. Classical Guitar Instruction

Professional level classical instruction with a university professor. Lessons available for all levels with Dr. Brian Luckett, DMA. Private studio in Starland District. $25/half hour, $45/hour. brian@brianluckett.com. (brianluckett.com. Clay Classes

Savannah Clay Studio at Beaulieu offers handbuilding, sculpture, and handmade tiles, basic glazing and firing. 912-3514578. sav..claystudio@gmail.com. Boating Classes

Classes on boat handling, boating safety and navigation offered by U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary. See website or call to register. 912-897-7656. savannahaux.com. Conscious Kids Yoga

A yoga class for children age 4 and up, to build skill, confidence, strength, and abilities of the body, mind, and heart. $15 per class or $50 for 6 sessions (to be used within 2 months) Wednesdays, 4-4:45 p.m.. 912-544-6387. erigosavannah.com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street.

FEB 11-17, 2015

DUI Prevention Group

Offers victim impact panels for intoxicated drivers, DUI, offenders, and anyone seeking knowledge about the dangers of driving while impaired. A must see for teen drivers. Meets monthly. $40/session 912443-0410. Krav Maga / Tactical Self Defense:

Dynamic Defensive Tactics combines the Israeli self defense techniques of Krav Maga with tactical fighting concepts. This is NOT a martial art but a no nonsense ap42 proach to self defense. With over 37 years

of experience, Roger D'Onofrio will teach you solutions, which are aggressive, simple and effective, to the violent situations of today. Note: these are private sessions for adults only. ongoing. 912-308-7109. ddt_910@yahoo.com. English as Second Language Classes

Learn conversational English, comprehension, vocabulary and life communication skills. All ages. Thursdays, 7:30pm, Island Christian Church, 4601 US Highway 80 East. Free. 912-897-3604. islandchristian. org. Family Law Workshop

The Mediation Center has three workshops per month for people who do not have legal representation in a family matter: divorce, legitimation, modifications of child support, visitation, contempt. Schedule: 1st Tues, 2nd Mon, 4th Thursday. Call for times. $30 912-354-6686. mediationsavannah.com. Fany's Spanish/English Institute

Spanish is fun. Classes for adults and children held at 15 E. Montgomery Crossroad. Register by phone. ongoing. 912-921-4646. Figure Drawing Classes

Tuesdays 6-9pm and Wednesdays 9:3012:30am. $60/4-session package or $20 drop-in fee. At the Studio School. ongoing. 912-484-6415. melindaborysevicz@gmail. com. thestudioschoolsavannah.com. Studio School, 1319 Bull St. Georgia Tech Learning Series: “Safety Management Systems: Affect the Bottom Line Beyond Compliance"

Worker safety is not just about regulatory compliance but should be part of your business model. Change the way your organization views safety and see the benefits to the bottom line. Senior leadership, safety professionals and human resources managers will learn the following: how safety and health impacts your business’s bottom line; how to manage safety like a business function; how to mitigate risk; and how to develop a systematic approach to safety and health management that benefits your worker beyond worker safety. $45, including lunch Thu., Feb. 12, 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. 912-963-2593. diane. lee@pe.gatech.edu. https://pe.gatech.edu/ courses/learning-series-safety-management-systems-affect-bottom-line-beyondcompliance. Georgia Tech Savannah, 210 Technology Circle. Guitar, Mandolin, or Bass Guitar Lessons

Emphasis on theory, reading music, and improvisation. Located in Ardsley Park. ongoing. 912-232-5987. Housing Authority Neighborhood Resource Center

Housing Authority of Savannah hosts classes at the Neighborhood Resource Center. Adult literacy/GED prep: MonThurs, 9am-12pm & 1pm-4pm. Financial education: 4th Fri each month, 9am-11am. Basic computer training: Tues & Thurs, 1pm-3pm. Community computer lab: MonFri, 3pm-4:30pm. ongoing. 912-232-4232 x115. savannahpha.com. savannahpha. com/NRC.html. Neighborhood Resource Center, 1407 Wheaton St. HypnoMothering

HypnoMothering is a 2.5 hour class for moms-to be that was developed by two hypnotherapists, each a mother of twins.

This fun, practical class teaches mothers easy and fast self-hypnosis techniques to make the most of limited sleep, keep calm and balanced on challenging days, and find focus and mindfulness amidst the myriad of feelings that mothers face. $50 Mon., Feb. 16, 6-8:30 p.m. 912-704-7650. ann@ douladeliveries.com. douladeliveries.com. renahowellacupuncture.com. Rena Howell 5 Element Acupuncture & Herbal Medicine, 216 E 41st Street. HypnoMothering Class for moms with children under 2yo

HypnoMothering is a 2.5 hour class for moms of children 2 years old and under. It was developed by two hypnotherapists, each a mother of twins. This fun, practical class teaches mothers easy and fast self-hypnosis techniques to make the most of limited sleep, keep calm and balanced on challenging days, and find focus and mindfulness amidst the myriad of feelings that mothers face. $50 Tue., Feb. 17, 6-8:30 p.m. 912-704-7650. ann@douladeliveries. com. douladeliveries.com. renahowellacupuncture.com. Rena Howell 5 Element Acupuncture & Herbal Medicine, 216 E 41st Street. Knitting & Crochet Classes

Offered at The Frayed Knot, 6 W. State St. See the calendar of events on website. Mondays. 912-233-1240. thefrayedknotsav. com.

mental, and emotional changes of a new mother's body, mind and heart with poise and grace. a variety of relaxation techniques for mother and child. For expecting and new moms as well as those with small children (4 and under). $15/class or 6 classes for $50 (to be used within 2 months) Tuesdays, Thursdays, 10-11 a.m.. 912-544-6387. erigosavannah.com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street. Motivational Life Coaching Session

Feeling stuck? Tired of the same old routine? Believe there has got to be more to life than this? Then this free, powerpacked inspirational seminar is for you. This is an opportunity for you to begin 2015 encouraged, motivated, inspired, and transformed. Register now at eventbrite. com. Tue., Feb. 17, 6:30-7:30 p.m. 404271-2685. withinyourreach.org. cgc.georgiasouthern.edu/. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Music Instruction

Georgia Music Warehouse, near corner of Victory Drive & Abercorn, offering instruction by professional musicians. Band instruments, violin, piano, drums and guitar. All ages welcome. ongoing. 912-358-0054. georgiamusicwarehouse.com/. Georgia Music Warehouse, 2424 Abercorn St. Music Lessons: Private or Group

Portman’s Music Academy offers private or group classes for ages 2 to 92, beginner Learn to Sew to advanced level. All instruments. Also, Sewing lessons for all ages and skill levels. voice lessons, music production technolPrivate and Group classes. Tuesdays.. 912- ogy and DJ lessons. Teaching staff of over 596-0889. kleossewingstudio.com. Kleo's 20 instructors with professional, well Sewing Studio, 36 W. Broughton St. #201. equipped studios. Fridays.. 912-354-1500. Life Coaching portmansmusic.com. portmansmusic. Group & individual life coaching with a Cer- com. Portman's Music Superstore, 7650 tified Life Coach. Plan for a career change, Abercorn St. Music Lessons--Multiple Instruments new lifestyle, or an opportunity to pursue creative or business projects. Step-by-step Savannah Musicians Institute offers private instruction for all ages in guiguidance to fulfill aspirations. In person tar, ddrums, piano, bass, voice, banjo, or telephone sessions. Thursdays.. 912mandolin, ukelele, flute, woodwinds. 7041 596-1952. info@roiseandassociates.com. Hodgson Memorial Dr. ongoing. 912-692Downtown Savannah, downtown. Math Prep for the SAT - Prepare for the March 8055. smisavannah@gmail.com. Exam

This course gives students the necessary practice, thinking strategies and skills development needed for maximizing scores on the math portion of the SAT. $160 per person; $135 for groups of 3 or more Tuesdays, 6-8 p.m.. 912-644-5967. jfogarty@georgiasouthern.edu. academics.georgiasouthern.edu/ce/programs/ personaldevelopment/satprepsavannah/. cgc.georgiasouthern.edu/. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Microsoft Office - Excel 2 Course

Advance in Excel. Acquire mastery over: formulas, functions, SUMIF Function, sorting data, applying shading, filtering data and text, summarizing data, data validation, formatting all cells using data bars or icon sets, creating macros and pivot table or pivot chart reports. $95 Thu., Feb. 12, 6:30-9:30 p.m. 912-644-5967. proftrainingtech@georgiasouthern.edu. academics.georgiasouthern.edu/ce/programs/personaldevelopment/microsoft/. cgc.georgiasouthern.edu/. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Mommy & Me Relaxation Class

Teaches techniques to face the physical,

New Horizons Adult Band Program

Music program for adults who played a band instrument in high school/college and would like to play again. Mondays at 6:30pm at Portman's. $30 per month. All ages and ability levels welcome. Call for info. ongoing. 912-354-1500. portmansmusic.com. Portman's Music Superstore, 7650 Abercorn St. New Mama's Club

A weekly Friday gathering of new moms and their babies. Practice baby & mom yoga, do a planned activity. Dream boards, affirmation writing, personalized aromatherapy and other projects. Fridays, 10 a.m.-noon. 912-704-7650. ann@ douladeliveries.com. douladeliveries. com. erigosavannah.com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street. Novel Writing

Write a novel, finish the one you've started, revise it or pursue publication. Award-winning Savannah author offers one-on-one or small group classes, mentoring, manuscript critique, ebook formatting. Email for pricing and scheduling info. ongoing. pmasoninsavannah@ gmail.com.

continued from previous page

Odd Lot Intro to Improv Class

Odd Lot presents Introduction to Improvisation. The session consists of 6 weekly classes and ends with an optional performance on March 13. $150 for full session, or $35 per class to drop in. Wednesdays, 7-9 p.m.. 912-484-2306. justin@oddlot.org. Guild Hall, 615 Montgomery Street. Photography Classes

Beginner photography to post production. Instruction for all levels. $20 for two-hour class. See website for complete class list. 410-251-4421. chris@chrismorrisphotography.com. chrismorrisphotography.com. Piano Lessons

Piano lessons with a classically trained instructor, with theater and church experience. 912-312-3977. ongoing. georgiamusicwarehouse.com/. Georgia Music Warehouse, 2424 Abercorn St. Piano Voice-Coaching

Pianist with M/degree,classical modern jazz improvisation, no age limit. Call 912-961-7021 or 912-667-1056. Serious inquiries only. ongoing. Polish Language Classes

The lessons are for beginners and open to anyone interested in learning the Polish language. Taught by Andrew Boguszewski. Reservations required. $25 Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m.. 912-401-5861. St James Catholic Church, 8412 Whitfield Ave. Project Management - Basics

This course provides an overview of the ten knowledge-based principles for managing successful projects: scope, integration, communication, time, cost, procurement, risk management, quality control, human resources, and project stakeholder management. $650 Tue., Feb. 17, 6-9 p.m. 912644-5967. proftrainingtech@georgiasouthern.edu. academics.georgiasouthern.edu/ ce/programs/professionaldevelopment/ projectmanagement/. cgc.georgiasouthern.edu/. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Reading/Writing Tutoring

Ms. Dawn’s Tutoring in reading, writing, and composition. Remedial reading skills, help with borderline dyslexia, to grammar, term paper writing, and English as a Second Language. Fun methods for children to help them learn quickly. 912-660-7399. cordraywriter@gmail.com. Russian Language Classes

Learn to speak Russian. All experience

GET ON TO GET OFF Try it for free

912-544-0026

More local numbers:1-800-777-8000 Ahora en Español/18+ www.guyspyvoice.com

levels welcome, beginner to expert. Call for Voice Lessons - Technique and Coaching info. ongoing. 912-713-2718. Experienced and successful voice instrucSewing Classes tor is accepting students. Nurturing, acFor beginners or advanced sewers. Indus- cepting, and collaborative studio. Services try standard sewing courses designed to offered include strengthening the voice, meet standards in the garment industry. range extension, relaxation techniques, Open schedule. Savannah Sewing Acadand coaching through various styles of emy. 1917 Bull St. Sundays.. 912-290-0072. music. Audition and competition preparasavsew.com. tion. Varies Mondays-Saturdays, 8 a.m.-8 Shakti Partner Yoga Workshop p.m. 912-484-0628. Downtown Savannah, This Valentine’s Day, try something truly downtown. collaborative with your friend or loved one. By physically connecting with another Dance Adult Ballet Class person, partner yoga provides insight into Maxine Patterson School of Dance, 2212 the understanding of oneself at a deeper level. Through this workshop, partners will Lincoln St, offers adult ballet on Thursdays, 6:30pm-7:30pm $12 per class. Call work together and support each other in for info. ongoing. 912-234-8745. both dynamic and passive poses. Working Adult Intermediate Ballet with a partner provides an opportunity to take one’s practice beyond what is possible Mondays and Wednesdays, 7pm-8pm. for the individual; however, you do not need $12/class or $90/8 classes. Call for info. a partner to sign up for this workshop! $25 Academy of Dance, 74 W. Montgomery Crossroad. Wednesdays. 912-921-2190. single/ $45 couple Sat., Feb. 14, 10 a.m.Beginner and intermediate ballet, modern noon. 912-232-2994. marketing@savandance, barre fusion, barre core body nahyoga.com. savannahyoga.com/events/ sculpt, gentle stretch & tone. Tuesdays.. shakti-partners/. savannahyoga.com/. 912-925-0903. theballetschoolsav.com. Savannah Yoga Center, 1321 Bull St. Singing Classes Ballet School, 10010 Abercorn St. Bel Canto is a singing style which helps the Argentine Tango Lessons Sundays 1:30-3;30pm. Open to voice become flexible and expressive, improves vocal range and breathing capacity. the public. $3 per person. Wear closed toe leather shoes if possible. Doris Martin A foundation for opera, rock, pop, gospel and musical theatre. $25 Mondays, 6 p.m.. Dance Studio, 8511-h ferguson Ave. Call or email for info. ongoing. 912-925-7416. 786-247-9923. anitraoperadiva@yahoo. savh_tango@yahoo.com. com. Institute of Cinematic Arts, 12 West Argentine Tango Basics Group Class State Street, 3rd and 4th flrs.,. Spanish Classes This beginners group class will focus Spanish courses for professionals ofon the basic elements of movement and fered by Conquistador Spanish Language Argentine Tango. This class is a 4 week Institute, LLC. Beginner Spanish for session that will start from week 1 and Professionals--Intro price $155 + textbook progress while reviewing each week until ($12.95). Instructor: Bertha E. Hernandez, week 4. No partner or experience required. M.Ed. and native speaker. Meets in the $35 Wednesdays, 6-7 p.m.. 912.312.3549. Keller Williams Realty meeting room, 329 salondebaile.dance@gmail.com. salondeCommercial Drive. Tuesdays.. conquistabailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile dor-spanish.com. Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Stress Reduction: Arising Stillness in Zen Drive. Stress-reducing practices for body, speech Awaken with Chakradance™ A free-flowing, meditative dance, with and mind. Five Thursday night classes eclectic music selected to resonate with from 6- 7:00pm. $15 drop-in; $70 for each specific chakra, along with guided series. Rev. Fugon Cindy Beach, Sensei. Savannah Zen Center 111 E. 34th St. 31401 imagery. No dance experience or chakras knowledge needed. $20 ongoing, 7-8:30 revfugon@gmail.com ongoing. Vocal Lessons p.m. 912-663-1306. Chakradancer@ A group of voice instructors who believe comcast.net. chakradance.com/. synerin the power of a nurturing community to gisticbodies.com. Synergistic Bodies, 7901 help voice students blossom into vibrant Waters Ave. Ballroom Group Dance Class artists. Each instructor holds a Masters of Music in Voice Performance. Group classes Weekly ballroom dance classes focus on two types of dance each month. Open to held once a month, plus an annual recital. partners/couples or to solos. The $35 for Varies Wednesdays.. 912-656-0760. TheVoiceCoOp.org. The Voice Co-op, Downtown. 4 weeks or $10 drop in Mondays, 7 p.m.

912.312.3549. reservetodance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Ballroom Series Group Class

A group ballroom dance class for beginners through advanced. Rumba, Swing, Tango, Foxtrot, Waltz, Cha Cha, Samba, and more. Singles or couples. $10.00 per person or $35 for 4 weeks (per person) Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.. 912.312.3549. reservetodance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Ballroom/Latin Group Class

Group classes every Tuesday and Wednesday at 8pm. Tuesdays focus on fundamental steps, styling, and techniques. Wednesday's classes are more specific, with advanced elements. $15/person and $25/couple Wednesdays, 8 p.m. and Tuesdays.. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@ gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing. com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. Beginner's Belly Dance Classes

Learn basic moves and choreography with local Belly Dancer, Nicole Edge. Class is open to all ages and skill levels. Walk-ins welcome. 15.00 Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. 912-596-0889. edgebelly@gmail.com. edgebellydance.com. Fitness on Broughton, 1 E. Broughton St. Beginners Belly Dance Classes

Instructed by Nicole Edge. All ages/Skill

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LARGE MENT

Gentlemen, Put on Your , AN T I Valentine s Big Boy Pants, You're Gonna Singles Party Need Them. Drink/Dance/Food Specials All Night Savannah’s Hottest Ladies SAT. FEB 14 7PM-3AM

12 North Lathrop Ave. Savannah, GA 31415 | 912.233.6930

BEST OF SAVANNAH • 2014 •

FEB 11-17, 2015

Happenings |

Call Savannah Age Management Medicine today at 925-6911. Discover what the big life is all about 43

Free will astrology ARIES

March 21-April 19

I hope you have someone in your life to whom you can send the following love note, and if you don’t, I trust you will locate that someone no later than August 1: “I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.” (This passage is borrowed from author Jonathan Safran Foer’s book *Everything Is Illuminated.*)

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

“We assume that others show their love in the same way that we do,” writes psychologist Amy Przeworski, “and if they don’t follow that equation, we worry that the love is not there.” I think you’re on track to overcome this fundamental problem, Taurus. Your struggles with intimacy have made you wise enough to surrender your expectations about how others should show you their love. You’re almost ready to let them give you their affection and demonstrate their care for you in ways that come natural to them. In fact, maybe you’re ready RIGHT NOW.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

The poet Rainer Marie Rilke said that people misunderstand the role of love. “They have made it into play and pleasure because they think that play and pleasure are more blissful than work,” he wrote. “But there is nothing happier than work. And love, precisely because it is the supreme happiness, can be nothing other than work.” I’m sharing this perspective with you for two reasons, Virgo. First, of all the signs in the zodiac, you’re most likely to thrive on his approach. Second, you’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when this capacity of yours is at a peak. Here’s how Rilke finished his thought: “Lovers should act as if they had a great work to accomplish.”

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

There are at least a billion different ways for you to be attracted to another person, and a trillion different ways to structure your relationship. Maybe your unique bond involves having sex, or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s romantic or friendly or holy, or all three of those things. Do the two of you have something important to create together, or is your connection more about fueling each other’s talents? Your task is to respect and revere the idiosyncratic ways you fit together, not force yourselves to conform to a prototype. To celebrate the Valentine season, I invite you and your closest ally to play around with these fun ideas.

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

Anais Nin wrote the following passage in her novel *A Spy in the House of Love*: “As other girls prayed for handsomeness in a lover, or for wealth, or for power, or for poetry, she had prayed fervently: let him be kind.” I recommend that approach for you right now, Capricorn. A quest for tender, compassionate attention doesn’t always have to be at the top of your list of needs, but I think it should be for now. You will derive a surprisingly potent alchemical boost from basking in kindness. It will catalyze a breakthrough that can’t be unleashed in any other way. Ask for it!

I’d like to bestow a blessing on you and your closest ally. My hope is that it will help you reduce the restlessness that on occasion undermines the dynamism of your relationship. Here’s the benediction, inspired by a Robert Bly poem: As you sit or walk or lie next to each other, you share a mood of glad acceptance. You aren’t itchy or fidgeting, wondering if there’s something better to be or do. You don’t wish you were talking about a different subject or feeling a different emotion or living in a different world. You are content to be exactly who you are, exactly where you are.

CANCER

SCORPIO

PISCES

Want to infuse your romantic interludes with wilder moods now and then? Want to cultivate a kind of intimacy that taps deeper into your animal intelligence? If so, try acting out each other’s dreams or drawing magic symbols on each other’s bodies. Whisper funny secrets into each other’s ears or wrestle like good-natured drunks on the living room floor. Howl like coyotes. Caw like crows. Purr like cheetahs. Sing boisterous songs and recite feral poetry to each other. Murmur this riff, adapted from Pablo Neruda: “Our love was born in the wind, in the night, in the earth. That’s why the clay and the flower, the mud and the roots know our names.”

In the TV science-fiction show *Doctor Who,* the title character lives in a time machine that is also a spaceship. It’s called a Tardis. From the outside, it appears to be barely bigger than a phone booth. But once you venture inside, you find it’s a spacious chateau with numerous rooms, including a greenhouse, library, observatory, swimming pool, and karaoke bar. This is an excellent metaphor for you, Scorpio. Anyone who wants your love or friendship must realize how much you resemble a Tardis. If they don’t understand that you’re far bigger on the inside than you seem on the outside, it’s unlikely the two of you can have a productive relationship. This Valentine season, as a public service, make sure that everyone you’re seriously involved with knows this fact.

The German word *Nachkussen* refers to the kind of kiss that compensates for all the kissing that has not been happening, all the kissing that has been omitted or lost. If it has been too long since you’ve kissed anyone, you need *Nachkussen.* If your lover hasn’t kissed you lately with the focused verve you long for, you need *Nachkussen.* If you yourself have been neglecting to employ your full artistry and passion as you bestow your kisses, you need *Nachkussen.* From what I can tell, Pisces, this Valentine season is a full-on *Nachkussen* holiday for you. Now please go get what you haven’t been getting.

May 21-June 20

June 21-July 22

FEB 11-17, 2015

energizers, igniting fires in the imaginations of those whose lives you touch? If not, find out why. And if you are tapping into those potentials, it’s time to raise your impact to the next level. Together the two of you now have extra power to synergize your collaboration in such a way that it sends out ripples of benevolence everywhere you go.

About 2,600 years ago, the Greek poet Sappho wrote the following declaration: “You make me hot.” In the next ten days, I’d love for you to feel motivated to say or think that on a regular basis. In fact, I predict that you will. The astrological omens suggest you’re in a phase when you are both more likely to be made hot and more likely to encounter phenomena that make you hot. Here are some other fragments from Sappho that might come in handy when you need to express your torrid feelings: 1. “This randy madness I joyfully proclaim.” 2. “Eros makes me shiver again . . . Snake-sly, invincible.” 3. “Desire has shaken my mind as wind in the mountain forests roars through trees.” (Translations by Guy Davenport.)

GEMINI

happenings | continued from previous page

by Rob brezsny | beautyandtruth@freewillastrology.com

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

Is there any sense in which your closest alliance is a gift to the world? Does your relationship inspire anyone? Do the two of you serve as activators and

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

Love and intimacy come in many forms.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

How many desires do you have? Take a rough inventory. Identify the experiences you continually seek in your quest to feel relief and pleasure and salvation and love and a sense of meaning. You can also include fantasies that go unfulfilled and dreams that may or may not come true in the future. As you survey this lively array, don’t censor yourself or feel any guilt. Simply give yourself to a sumptuous meditation on all the longings that fuel your journey. This is your prescription for the coming week. In ways you may not yet be able to imagine, it is the medicine you need most.

Feb. 19-March 20

levels welcome. Sundays, 12pm-1pm. Fitness body and balance studio. 2127 1//2 E. Victory Dr. $15/class or $48/hour. Call or see website. ongoing. 912-596-0889. cairoonthecoast.com. Beginners Belly Dancing with Cybelle

For those with little-to-no dance background. Instructor is formally trained, has performed for over ten years. $15/person. Tues. 7pm-8pm. Private classes and walk ins available. Synergistic Bodies, 7724 Waters Ave. ongoing. 912-414-1091. info@ cybelle3.com. cybelle3.com. Happenstance Bellydance

All levels and styles of bellydance welcome. Classes every Monday, 5:306:30pm. Drop-ins welcome. $15/lesson Mondays, 5:30 p.m.. (912) 704-2940. happenstancebellydance@gmail.com. happenstancebellydance.wordpress.com. Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Suite B. C.C. Express Dance Team

Wednesdays, 6pm-8pm. Clogging or tap dance experience is necessary. Call Claudia Collier for info. ongoing. 912-7480731. Windsor Forest Recreation Building, Windsor Forest. Dance for Peace

A weekly gathering to benefit locals in need. Music, dancing, fun for all ages. Donations of nonperishable food and gently used or new clothing are welcomed. Free and open to the public. Sundays, 3 p.m. 912-547-6449. xavris21@yahoo.com. Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Dance Lessons (Salsa, Bachata)

Learn to dance Salsa & Bachata. For info, call Austin (912-704-8726) or Omar (Spanish - 787-710-6721). Thursdays. 912-704-8726. salsa@salsasavannah.com. salsasavannah.com. Great Gatsby, 408 West Broughton Street. Dance Party

Dance on Thursdays at 8pm--fun, friendship, and dancing. Free for Savannah Ballroom students. $10 for visitors ($15 for couples). free - $15 Thursdays, 8 p.m. 912335-3335. savannahballroom@gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing.com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. Disco Hustle Dance Class

Do the hustle! A New York style Disco Hustle group class taught by Jos'eh Marion, a professional ballroom dance instructor. Sundays at 5pm. Call for pricing. Sundays, 5 p.m.. 843-290-6174. Trudancer@gmail. com. ymcaofcoastalga.org/. YMCA (Habersham Branch), 6400 Habersham St. Free Dance Thursdays at Lake Mayer

Lake Mayer is offering free dance and fitness classes for all ages every Thursday, in the Community Center. 9:30 am and 10:30 am is the "Little Movers" class for toddlers. 12:00 pm Lunch Break Fitness. 1:30 pm Super Seniors. 5:30 pm youth hip hop. 6:30 pm Adult African Fitness. FREE ongoing, 9:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. 912-6526780. sdavis@chathamcounty.org. Lake Mayer, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. FUNdamentals Dance Lesson

Group dance lessons every Tuesday and Wednesday at 8pm. Tuesday: fundamental steps, styling, and techniques. Wednesday: advanced elements. $15/person $25/

continued from previous page

couple Tuesdays, 8 p.m. and Wednesdays, 8 p.m.. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@ gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing. com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street.

grooves and bachata the night away in Pooler where it's cooler. Wednesdays, 8-11 p.m. 912-988-1052. medi.tavern314@gmail. com. Mediterranean Tavern, 125 Foxfield Way.

Wednesdays, 6pm-8pm, Nassau Woods Recreation Building, Dean Forest Road. No beginner classes at this time. Call Claudia Collier for info. ongoing. 912-748-0731.

Wednesdays, 7pm,at Doubles Lounge. Fridays, 7pm, at American Legion Post 36, 2309 E. Victory Dr. ongoing. doublesnightclub.com/. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St.

Home Cookin' Cloggers

Irish Dance Classes

Glor na Dare offers beginner to champion Irish Dance classes for ages 5 and up. Adult Step & Ceili, Strength and Flexibility, non-competitive and competitive programs, workshops, camps. Certified. Wednesdays.. 912-704-2052. prideofirelandga@gmail.com. Kids/Youth Dance Class

Kids Group class on various Ballroom and Latin dances. Multiple teachers. Ages 4-17 currently enrolled in the program. Prepares youth for social and/or competitive dancing. $15/person Saturdays, 10 a.m. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@ gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing. com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. LaBlast- Dance Fitness designed by Louis Van Amstel from DWTS

Created by world renowned dancer and ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" professional, Louis Van Amstel, LaBlast uniquely combines a wide variety of ballroom dance styles and music genres. Do the Cha Cha Cha, Disco, Jive, Merengue, Salsa and Samba set to everything from pop and rock to hip-hop and country – and burn fat and blast calories! No experience and no partner necessary. $15.00 drop in or 10 classes for $80.00 Mondays, 6-7 p.m. and Fridays, 10-11 a.m. 912.312.3549. reservetodance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Line Dancing

Take down Tuesdays. Jazzy Sliders Adult Line Dancing, every Tuesday, 7:30pm10:00pm. Free admission, cash bar. Come early and learn a new dance from 7:30pm8:30pm. ongoing. doublesnightclub.com/. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Mahogany Shades of Beauty

Dance classes - hip hop, modern, jazz, West African, ballet, lyrical and step. Modeling and acting classes. All ages/levels welcome. Call Mahogany for info. ongoing. 912-272-8329. Modern Dance Class

Beginner and intermediate classes. Fridays 10am-11:15am. Doris Martin Studio, 7360 Skidaway Rd. Call Elizabeth for info. ongoing. 912-354-5586. Old Time Country Dance

Savannah Folk Music Society presents this dance with music by Glow In The Dark. Sat., Feb. 14, 7:30 p.m. notredamesav.org. Notre Dame Academy, 1709 Bull St. Salsa Lessons by Salsa Savannah

Tues. 8pm-9pm and 9pm-10pm. Thur. 8pm-9pm and 9pm-10pm. Sun. 5pm6pm and 6pm-7pm. Salon de Maile, 704B Hodgson Memorial Dr., Savannah, 31406. Tuesdays.. salsasavannah.com. Salsa Night

Come and shake it to the best latin

Savannah Shag Club

Savannah Swing Cats--Swing Dancing

ongoing. doublesnightclub.com/. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Sizzle: Dance and Cardio

A class designed to maintain that summer body by dancing and having fun. Incorporates dance and cardio to fun, spicy songs. $10 drop in or 10 classes for $80 Tuesdays, Fridays, 10 a.m. 912-312-3549. reservetodance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. West Coast Swing Class

Instructor Rick Cody teaches the smooth rhythms of beach music and west coast swing. $12 drop in fee or $35 for 4 weeks Wednesdays, 7 p.m.. 912.312.3549. salondebaile.dance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Festivals

att/hotels-savannah/index.jsp?null. Hyatt Regency Savannah, 2 West Bay St. Georgia History Festival: Trustees Gala

Join the Office of the Governor and the Georgia Historical Society as they induct the 2015 Georgia Trustees at this gala. The gala is the Foundation's premier annual event and the culmination of the Georgia History Festival. $295 Sat., Feb. 14, 7 p.m. georgiahistory.com/gala. savannah.hyatt. com/hyatt/hotels-savannah/index.jsp?null. Hyatt Regency Savannah, 2 West Bay St. PICKSavannah Book Festival This year's festival takes place in Telfair, Wright and Chippewa Squares, and authors include Pat Conroy, John Katzenbach, Mary Alice Monroe, Karen Abbott, Patton Oswalt, Mary Kay Andrews, Michael Harris and Linda Sickler. Sat., Feb. 14, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Downtown Savannah, downtown. Savannah Book Festival: An Afternoon with Anne and Christopher Rice

Savannah Book Festival: An Evening with Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich is the beloved author of more than 20 consecutive #1 New York Come cheer for the teams of the annual Times bestsellers. With more than 75 milcolonial cricket tournament for Chatham lion books sold in more than 27 languages, County elementary schools. Local teams Evanovich is the most successful female are introduced to the Georgia colony’s famystery novelist in the world. $15 Thu., vorite sport during this fun and educational Feb. 12, 6 p.m. www2.scad.edu/venues/ experience. Team registration is open to all trustees/. Trustees Theater, 216 East Savannah-Chatham County Public Schools. Broughton St. Free Thu., Feb. 12, 9:30 a.m. 912-651-2125. Savannah Book Festival: An Evening with P.J. O'Rourke pmeagher@georgiahistory.com. georgiaIf you’ve listened to NPR’s Wait! Wait, history.com/events/shuman-cup-crickettournament/. Shuman Elementary School, Don’t Tell Me! at any point, you’ve heard the biting wit of P. J. O’Rourke, one of our 415 Goebel Avenue. Georgia History Festival: Shuman Cup Cricket nation’s keenest cultural commentators. Tournament $15 Fri., Feb. 13, 6 p.m. www2.scad.edu/ Come cheer for the teams of the annual venues/trustees/. Trustees Theater, 216 colonial cricket tournament for Chatham East Broughton St. County elementary schools. Local teams PICKThe Savannah Irish Festival The festival begins on Friday night at are introduced to the Georgia colony's favorite sport during this fun and educational Columbus Hall with a traditional Ceili, where those who attend will be taught Irish experience. Free and open to the public folk dancing in large groups. The festival Thu., Feb. 12, 9:30 a.m. Shuman Elemencontinues through the weekend with four tary School, 415 Goebel Avenue. Georgia History Festival Trustees Gala stages of live entertainment, dance, food, The Trustees Gala is the Georgia Historical crafts, culture and fun for all ages. $5-$16 Society’s premiere annual event and the Fri., Feb. 13, 6:30-11:30 p.m., Sat., Feb. 14, culmination of the Georgia History Festival. 10:15 a.m.-7 p.m. and Sun., Feb. 15, 12-5 Each year, this elegant and much-anticip.m. 800-351-7469. savannahirish.org/. pated evening draws top local, state, and savannahcivic.com. The Savannah Civic national leaders to honor and pay tribute to Center, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. Tybee Mardi Gras Street Party and Parade the best the State of Georgia has produced. The 2015 Trustees are Alana Smith Pay homage to the tradition of Mardi Gras and enjoy fun, family-friendly events dating Shepherd, co-founder of Shepherd Center in Atlanta and Paula S. Wallace co-founder back to the ancient Romans and carried on today. Tybee will be decked-out in purple, of Savannah College of Art and Design. gold and green and party-goers will enjoy Reservations required. To purchase seats lively parade, music entertainment, lavish visit georgiahistory.com/gala. Sat., Feb. costumes, fun contests, Cajun cuisine and 14, 7 p.m. 912-651-2125. pmeagher@ much more. Sat., Feb. 14, noon. Tybee georgiahistory.com. georgiahistory.com/ Roundabout, Tybrisa Street and Strand media-events/georgia-history-festival/ georgia-trustees/. savannah.hyatt.com/hy- Avenue. Georgia History Festival Shuman Cup Cricket Tournament

Fitness

$6 Community Yoga Classes

Savannah Power Yoga offers a community yoga class nearly every day of the week for just $6. All proceeds support local organizations. See schedule online for details. Most classes are heated to 90 degrees. Bring a yoga mat, towel and some water. $6 $5 Mondays-Fridays, Sundays. (912) 349-2756. info@savannahpoweryoga.com. savannahpoweryoga.com. savannahpoweryoga.com/. Savannah Power Yoga, 7360 Skidaway Rd. Al-Anon Family Groups

An anonymous fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics. The message of Al-Anon is one of strength and hope for friends/family of problem drinkers. Al-Anon is for adults. Alateen is for people age 13-19. Meetings daily throughout the Savannah area. check website or call for info. ongoing. 912-598-9860. savannahalanon.com. Beach Body Workouts with Laura

MONDAYS at 6:15 PM at the Lake Mayer Community Center $5.00 per session Mondays, 6:15 p.m. (912) 652-6784. Lake Mayer, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. Beastmode Fitness Group Training

Train with this elite team. A total body program that trims, tones and gets results. Personal training options available. See website for info. Meets at West Broad YMCA. 5am-6am and 8pm-9pm. ongoing. beastmodefitnessga.com. YMCA-West Broad St, 1110 May St. Bellydancing Fusion Classes

Mixes ballet, jazz, hip hop into a unique high energy dance style. Drills and choreographies for all levels.Small classes in downtown Savannah, and on request. $10 per person. Email for info. ongoing. bohemianbeats.com. Blue Water Yoga

Community donation-based classes, Tues. and Thurs., 5:45pm - 7:00pm. Fri., 9:30am10:30am. Email for info or find Blue Water Yoga on Facebook. ongoing. egs5719@aol. com. Talahi Island Community Club, 532 Quarterman Dr. Burnin' Love at the Barre

Only 20 spots available for this Valentinethemed yoga session. $20 per person Sat., Feb. 14, 12-1:30 p.m. savannahyogabarre.

Crossword Answers

FEB 11-17, 2015

Happenings |

Do you know how to produce a great community newspaper?

FEB 11-17, 2015

If you think you have the skills, the drive, the passion and the determination to produce the kind of newspaper a local community wants, then we need to talk! Due to the upcoming retirement of our present publisher after a 43-year career with our company, we are looking for a talented and enterprising leader to take charge of our weekly newspaper in Effingham County, Georgia, a suburb of Savannah near the Georgia coast. This fast growth community deserves a great printed newspaper and a great community website.

What we have is way above average, but we want someone who can help us make the Effingham Herald realize all of its potential. If you think you have what it takes to immerse yourself in the Effingham community and spend the time and effort needed to make this legalorgan news operation really shine, let me hear from you. First contact should be via email and should include a brief summary of your work history, your connection to Effingham County, Georgia and a letter telling me why my search will be over after I interview you.

Joe McGlamery Regional Vice President Morris Multimedia, Inc. joe@morrisnews.com

For Your Information CALLING ALL SINGERS

St. John's Ep. Church is looking for volunteer and professional singers to join their Adult choir. Currently we are seeking Bass section leaders, but all parts are desired. If you love to sing great choral works, and if you have music-reading skills, call the Organist/ Choirmaster, Steven Branyon 912-660-8643 or 912-232-1251 for details and to schedule an audition.

CONNECT INSTANTLY WITH SEXY LOCAL SINGLES FREE Trial! Call 912.544.0013 or 800.926.6000 www.livelinks.com 18+

EMBASSY SUITES HOTEL Savannah Airport (Exit 104 off I-95) is hiring for: CHIEF ENGINEER (salary based on experience) Maintenance Technician Housekeepers Laundry Attendants Room Checker Benefits available. Join our winning team! Apply in person: 145 Mulberry Boulevard Savannah, GA or PHONE: 912-330-8222 FAX: 229-241-0242 EMAIL:

EXPERIENCED DAYCARE HELP NEEDED. 2 Part-time positions. Must have CDA. Background check. Must be able to do lesson plans. Call 912-713-1571, between 1:30-3:00pm.

Real Estate

General Merchandise

Homes For Sale

KILL ROACHES GUARANTEED Buy Harris Roach Tablets or Spray. Available: ACE Hardware, The Home Depot, Homedepot.com

Jobs Drivers Wanted

DRIVER NEEDED: Solid company seeks Tractor Trailer Driver w/CDL license & 2yrs. experience. TWIC card helpful. Must be at least 23yrs. of age, dependable, good MVR. Daily runs. Call for details, 912-658-7499.

Help Wanted BASS - BARITONE SINGERS

St. John’s Church, Savannah, seeks Professional Bass/Baritone Singers to serve as section leaders in the Adult choir. Salary is based on musical ability & vocal skills. Call Organist/Choir Master, Steven Branyon at 912-660-8643 or 912-232-1251 for details. DRY CLEANERS HIRING Experienced Seamstress, Counter, and PRESSERS, but we will train. Pressers Start TODAY! Apply in person: Richmond Hill's Best Cleaners, 10118 Ford Ave, Richmond Hill, GA. 912-756-5551

NICE CONDO: 3 Bedroom, 2 Bath, Downstairs, Corner unit. New tile in foyer & kitchen. New stove & hood, Freshly painted, 2yrs. ago. In same family since 1993, now downsizing. Appraised $133,000 in 2010, now asking $119,900. Located on Wilmington Island in Bull river Shoals. Call John at 6638353 for appt. to view.

For Rent

recruit.motmanco@gmail.com

Items for Sale KILL BED BUGS! Buy Harris Bed Bug Killer Sprays & Powder. Effective results begin after spray dries. Available: ACE Hardware, Tillman's, Maycrest. Buy online: homedepot.com

Townhomes/Condos For Sale

FEBRUARY ONLY * ASK ABOUT OUR DEPOSIT SPECIALS* *Credit Issues, Prior Evictions, Bankruptcies may still apply *Weekly & Bi-Weekly Payment Options Available for Apts. $245 & $450 Videos of properties B Net Management Inc. on Facebook

HOME FSBO IN NOTTINGHAM: 3BR/1.5BA, brick home. Carpet throughout. Home in good shape. Asking $119,000. Call 912210-2745

5509 Emory Drive: 3BR/2BA house. LR, DR, hardwood floors, carpet, CH/A, laundry room, kitchen, fenced yard. $865/month.

For Free!

426 E. 38th St. (Habersham & Price) 2BR/1BA Apt. Appliances, central heat/air, washer/dryer hookup, carpet $650.

Buy. Sell.

www.connectsavannah.com

Classified

advertising

807-809 Paulsen St. 2BR/1BA Apt. Appliances, central heat/ air, carpet & hardwood floors $625.

• Call our Classifieds Department at

912-231-0250

• Ads Must Be Placed By 11am On Monday Prior to Publication • ALL Ads Must be PrePaid (Credit Cards Accepted) • Basic rate includes up to 25 words. www.ConnectSavannah.com

*101 Helmken: 3BR/2BA $850 *117 Westminister: 3BR/2BA $1,000 Several Rental & Rent-To-Own Properties. GUARANTEED FINANCING STAY MANAGEMENT 352-7829 *1306 E.40TH STREET: Very large 3BR/2BA, new carpet, new paint. Separate mother-in-law HOUSE, 1/Bed, w/kitchen and bath. $1200/month. *2111 CAUSTON BLUFF: 4BR/2 full baths, all electric, mother-in-law suite, fenced yard $1200/month. 912-257-6181

Off Westlake Ave. 2 & 3BR, 1 Bath Apts. Newly Renovated, hardwood floors,carpet, ceiling fans, appliances, central heat/air, washer/dryer hookups. $575$695/month, utilities may be added to rent if requested. 912-228-4630 Mon-Sat 10am-5pm www. bnetmanagement.com *For Qualified Applicants* WE ACCEPT SECTION 8

Follow The Leader In Event Listings! Check Out Week At A Glance and Happenings!

REDUCED RENT & DEPOSIT!

SPECIAL! SPECIAL!

11515 White Bluff Road: $620/month for 1BR/1BA Apt. with $500/deposit. Great Apt. Townhouse, 1812 N. Avalon St. 2BR/1.5BA for only $695/month. Nice location, 127 Edgewater Rd. 2BR/2BA, all electric, $795/month.

DAVIS RENTALS

310 EAST MONTGOMERY X-ROADS, 912-354-4011 OR 656-5372

2 EFFICIENCIES AND 2 ROOMS to rent. Adult/Shared living. Near Savannah State University. $110 RENT OR RENT-TO-OWN: - $180/weekly. Very nice! Call 912- Remodeled mobile homes, 355-1359. 3BR/2BA, in Garden City mobile 624 MONTGOMERY STREET. home park. Low down affordable Downtown. Furnished, all payments. Credit check approval. utilities. Clean, quiet, nice room Call Gwen, Manager, at 912-964on busline. $120 & Up per week. 7675 912-944-0950 SOUTHSIDE 625 WEST 42nd Street and 724 •1BR Apts, washer/dryer Waters Avenue: 2BR, 1 Bath, washer/dryer hookup. $525/ included. $25 for water, month plus deposit. Call 912-844- trash included, $625/month. •2BR/1.5BA Townhouse Apt, 2344 total electric $700/month. 9C OAK FOREST LANE: Savannah, GA 31404. 2BR/1BA. $650/rent + Call 912-927-3278 or 912$650/deposit. Call 912-398-4424 356-5656 By Daffin Park: 2BR/1BA APARTMENT: Refrigerator, stove, washer/dryer hookup, central heat/air, $650/month + $650 deposit. No pets. 912-657-4583

PlaCement Reach Over 45,000 Readers Every Week!

DUPLEX: 1204 E. 54th Street. 2BR/1BA $550/month plus $550/deposit. Two blocks off Waters Avenue, close to Daffin Park. Call 912-335-3211 or email GEORGETOWN 5 Whittington Court. 3BR/2BA, adamrealstate@gmail.com. Days/ Dining room, Living room. Newly Nights/Weekends. remodeled. Close to Everything! FURNISHED APTS. $170/WK. $1000 per month, $1000/deposit. Private bath and kitchen, cable, utilities, washer furnished. AC & Call 912-257-2227 heat, bus stop on property. No **E.32ND ST. Lower Apt. deposit required. Completely 2BR/1.5BA, LR, DR, breakfast safe, manager on property. room, laundry room, all Contact Denise, (352)459-9707, appliances $775/month. Linda, (912)690-9097, Jack, **SOUTHSIDE: 3BR/1BA, LR, (912)342-3840 or Cody, (912)695kitchen/dining, den, fenced yard 7889 $950/month. 912-596-4954

TOWNHOUSE: 100 Lewis Drive, Apt. 13C, 2BR/1.5BA, 2-story. Washer/dryer connections, all appliances. No pets. $625/month, CARVER HEIGHTS AREA. Large $625/deposit. Call 912-663-0177 house near schools, churches, bus or 912-663-5368 stop. Interested person only. Call VERY NICE HOUSE FOR RENT after 5pm. 912-660-1915 *301 Forrest Ave: 3BR/2BA $800. *127 Linden Ave: 3BR/1BA $800. *2136 E. 43rd: 3BR/1BA $885. CARVER HEIGHTS: Elliott Street Call 912-507-7934, 912-927-2853, off Gwinnett. 3BR/1.5BA, small or 912-631-7644. den. LR/DR, eat-in kitchen, WEEKLY APARTMENT total electric, heat/air, laminate 821 Amaranth Avenue: 1BR Apt throughout, laundry room, for rent. Furnished with utilities fenced backyard. References included. On bus line. $210/ checked. Call 912-224-4167 weekly; $100/deposit. Call 912Cute house, Wooded lot. Fenced 441-5468 backyard. Covered porches. Room for Rent Storage shed. Convenient Location. ROOMS FOR RENT One year lease, application, $75 MOVE-IN SPECIAL TODAY!! background check required. http://www.hollyyoungrealtor. Clean, furnished, large. Busline, c o m / P o o l e r _ G A _ l i s t i n g s / central heat/air, utilities. $100E 5 1 6 2 C 4 4 - F D 7 E - 8 7 6 B - $130 weekly. Rooms w/bathroom $145. Call 912-289-0410. 7DEADC1A6B6FFA67.shtml#

FURNISHED, includes utilities, central heat/air, Comcast cable, washer/ dryer. Ceramic tile in kitchen. Shared Kitchen & Shared bath. Call 912-2100181, leave message

ROOMS FOR RENT - ADULT LIVING: $150 weekly. No deposit. Furnished rooms. All utilities included. Call 912844-5995 SAVANNAH'S HOUSE OF GRACE

SENIOR LIVING AT IT'S BEST FOR AGES 50 & BETTER Shared community living for full functioning seniors ages 50 & above. Nice comfortable living at affordable rates. Shared kitchen & bathroom. All bedrooms have central heating/air and cable. Bedrooms are fully furnished and private. Make this community one you will want to call home. SAVANNAH'S HOUSE OF GRACE also has community housing with its own private bath. Different rates apply. Income must be verifiable. We accept gov. vouchers. Prices starting at $550.

Call 912-844-5995

SHARED LIVING: Fully Furnished Apts. $170 weekly. No deposit. All utilities included. Call 912-844-5995

Roommate Wanted ROOMMATE WANTED: Upscale Community, close to Southside, 10 min. from Gulfstream. 1BR, Private bath, Fully furnished, Utilities included. Non-smoker. Mature and serious-minded people apply. $825/month. Contact 912-247-3835 or email: g19061906@yahoo.com

Automotive Cars/Trucks/Vans FENDER BENDER ?? Paint & Body Work. Reasonably Priced. Insurance Claims. We buy wrecks. Call 912-355-5932.

KIA Sorento, 2007. 159K miles, Auto, AC, CD, One owner. Call 912-484-0549

Week at a Glance Looking to plan to fill your week with fun stuff? Then read Week At A Glance to find out about the most interesting events occurring in Savannah. ConnectSavannah.com

FEB 11-17, 2015

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