Connect Savannah March 11, 2015 by Connect Savannah

parade/parking/wristband info starts p. 18 | st. patrick's bands, 24 | tara feis, 26 | theatre, 38 | lewis black, 42 MAR 11-17, 2015 news, arts & Entertainment weekly connectsavannah.com

Fifty Shades O’ Fun Stone Stairs of Death Scavenger Hunt! St. Patrick’s coverage begins page 16 Photo by Geoff L. Johnson | geoffsphotos.com

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2015 BEST Of SAVANNAH: VOTE ONLINE MARCH 11-APRIL 21 BEST OF SAVANNAH #2015BOS

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Bluegrass @SMF Balsam Range Thursday, March 19 aT 12:30 PM charles h. Morris cenTer

Balsam Range & The Boxcars Thursday, March 19 aT 5:30 & 8 PM charles h. Morris cenTer

The Boxcars Friday, March 20 aT 12:30 PM charles h. Morris cenTer

Jerry Douglas presents the Earls of Leicester featuring Shawn Camp, Charlie Cushman, Johnny Warren and Barry Bales saTurday, March 21 aT 7:30 PM TrusTees TheaTer

Acoustic Music Seminar Finale: Stringband Spectacular Friday, aPril 3 aT 6 PM lucas TheaTre For The arTs

March 19–april 4, 2015

Hot Rize saTurday, March 28 aT 7:30 PM TrusTees TheaTer

To see the full lineup, information & tickets: savannahmusicfestival.org box office: 912.525.5050 Proud sPonsor of the 2015 savannah Music festivaL

Major funding for the Savannah Music Festival is provided by the City of Savannah’s Department of Cultural Affairs, Gulfstream Aerospace Corp., National Endowment for the Arts, Wet Willie’s Management Corp., Connect Savannah, Critz Auto Group, Visit Savannah, Savannah Morning News & Savannah Magazine, Memorial Health/ Mercer University School of Medicine, Georgia Council for the Arts, Georgia Public Broadcasting, HunterMaclean, The Kennickell Group, Savannah College of Art & Design, Ships of the Sea Maritime Museum, WSAV and XFiNiTy

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shamrocks and shenanigans 5 DAYS OF IRISH FUN! | OVER 20 DIFFERENT BANDS ROCKIN’ OUR STAGES! FRIDAY, MARCH 13TH

SATURDAY, MARCH 14TH

souls harbor quincy mumford the austin mowery band dj natty heavy u-phonik

the kenny george band whiskey run | lynn avenue u-phonik dj natty heavy the austin mowery band

MONDAY, MARCH 16TH

s tue

chuck & uncle buck the midnight city the steppin stones paperwork dj natty heavy tokyo joe

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SUNDAY, MARCH 15TH brady smith band thomas claxton & the myth glamnation | liquid ginger dj natty heavy the steppin stones

david landeo seven handle circus cranford hollow tokyo joe ellen drive the club bullies featuring dj natty heavy

| W W W. W I L D W I N G C A F E . C O M

Week At A Glance

compiled by Rachael Flora | happenings@connectsavannah.com Week At A Glance is Connect Savannah’s listing of events in the coming week. If you want an event listed, email WAG@ connectsavannah.com. Include specific dates, time, locations with addresses, cost and a contact number. Deadline for inclusion is 5pm Friday, to appear in next Wednesday’s edition.

tue / 17

st. patrick’s day parade Wednesday / 11

The Harlem Globetrotters

The iconic Harlem Globetrotters perform their fun family show. In honor of his 90th birthday, the Psy7 p.m chotronic Film Society will show a George Martin Luther King Jr Arena, 301 West Oglethorpe Kennedy film which will remain a mystery Ave. until showtime. The PFS wasn't even aware $21-$84 of this lost film until a few months ago, Meet the Authors as it's been unavailable on home video for Armstrong State University hosts a book years. For mature audiences only. signing that highlights three of its authors: 8 p.m Elizabeth Desnoyers-Colas, Joshua L. WilThe Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. liams, and Meghan Ramsey. Books will be $7 available for purchase at the event. Thursday / 12 5 p.m Armstrong State University, 11935 Abercorn St.

Film: Mystery George Kennedy Film

cheers! opening reception

From teapots to punchbowls, explore the world of drinking in this exhibit dedicated to objects used to consume tea, wine, coffee, punch, beer, cider, and chocolate. Curator Courtney McNeil speaks. 6 p.m Telfair Academy, 121 Barnard St. Free to members, open to public with museum admission

Gulfstream Aerospace and the World Steve Cass, vice president of Technical Marketing and Communications at Gulfstream, will speak at the event. 7:30 p.m Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. $10

Stand Up for Kids Comedy Competition

Six local celebrities will be introduced to the public to announce their campaign to raise funds in support of Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA). This event is open to the public. Drink specials and menu items will also be available throughout the evening. 5:30 p.m Churchill's Pub, 13 West Bay St. info@savannahcasa.org

Tea at Mrs. Davenport's

Patrons will tour areas of the historic home where tea service took place and will participate in an afternoon tea with costumed interpreters. The performance requires that guests be able to walk up and down stairs. Limited attendance; reservations required. 5 p.m. Davenport House, 324 East State St. $18 adults, $14 kids 912-236-8097. davenporthousemuseum.org

Women in the Arts Symposium

Titled "Depictions of Home: A Woman's Place?" the 2015 symposium will feature paper presentations in each arts discipline addressing traditional and non-traditional gender roles in the home and female artists’ perspective on such societal values. Presentations begin at 10 a.m. and continue throughout the day. 10 a.m Armstrong State University, 11935 Abercorn St. Free finearts.armstrong.edu

Friday / 13 Greening of the Fountain

The Greening ceremony has evolved into one of the most popular events surrounding the St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans, as the attendance has grown larger every year. The children are the focus of the Greening and a special kind of Irish magic culminates when the fountain water turns from clear to green, ensuring a "young-at-heart" experience for everyone. noon Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St.

Lewis Black: The Rant is Due Part Deux Lewis Black, a Grammy Award-winning stand-up comedian, performs at the Johnny Mercer Theatre. 8 p.m Johnny Mercer Theatre, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $39-$59.50

Irish Heritage Dance

Bring in St. Patrick’s Day weekend with this traditional Irish heritage dance. 8 p.m Alee Shriner’s Temple, 100 Eisenberg Dr.

Savannah Comedy Festival

This comedy festival features Mike Epps, Sommore, Bruce Bruce, and Gary Owens. 8 p.m Martin Luther King Jr Arena, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $42-$75

Tea at Mrs. Davenport's

Theatre: The Dixie Swim Club

The story of five very diverse Southern women who first meet when they were college swim team mates. The women meet one long weekend every August in the same beach cottage on Tybee Island to catch up, laugh, and meddle in each others’ lives. The show focuses on four of those weekends and spans a period of 33 years. 7:30 p.m. Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. 912-786-5920. tybeearts.org

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Bonaventure After Hours: Stories, Nightfall & More!

Savannah’s only after-hours cemetery event, in this riverside Victorian cemetery. 5-8 p.m. Bonaventure Cemetery, 330 Bonaventure Rd. $35 912-319-5600. info@bonaventurecemetery.com

Theatre: The Dixie Swim Club

sat / sun

rugby @Daffin park Theatre: Wit

A one-act play, Wit is a funny, compassionate and devastating account of a brilliant poetry scholar succumbing to ovarian cancer. The production features the Collective Face Theatre Ensemble and is directed by Karla Knudsen. Call 912-232-0018 for reservations for all performances. 8 p.m. Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $20

There will also be a special Budweiser Clydesdales Meet & Greet at 1 p.m. before the parade starts at the Tybee Island YMCA. Families are encouraged to dress in green and come out and celebrate. 3 p.m Tybee Island, Tybee Island. Free and open to the public

Old Time Country Dance

Saturday / 14

Savannah Folk Music Society presents this dance with music by Glow In The Dark. 7:30 p.m Notre Dame Academy, 1709 Bull St.

Concert: Stephen Brown

Punk Rock Movie Night

Award-winning pianist Stephen Brown practices commercial law in Savannah while maintaining preeminence as a superb concert artist. In this concert, he will perform over an hour of piano works from various periods. 4-5:15 p.m Unitarian Universalist Church of Savannah, 313 Harris St. $15 in advance, $20 at the door 912-234-0980. uusavannah.org

Forsyth Farmers Market

Local and regional produce, honey, meat, dairy, pasta, baked goods and other delights. Rain or shine. 9 a.m.-1 p.m Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Free to attend. Items for sale. 912-484-0279. forsythfarmersmarket.com

Join the Sentient Bean for a monthly series of movies directly inspired by punk music, fashion or general attitude. Admission is free for customers. second Saturday of every month, 8 p.m The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave.

Savannah Kilt and Kolor Run

Run or walk, individual or as a group. Wear a white shirt (or the one provided) and leave green to celebrate St Patrick's Day. Music and colored powder provided. Contest for best plaid outfit or kilted group. 9 a.m Hutchinson Island

Irish Heritage Celebration Parade

Tybee Island is going green with a family friendly parade to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. The parade will begin at City Hall and proceed down Butler Avenue to Tybrisa Street and include imaginative floats, marching and musical bands, a bag pipe unit out of New York and feature for the first time, the Budweiser Clydesdales.

sat / 14

Savannah Kilt and Kolor Run

Savannah Philharmonic: Chamber Concert No. 5 - Shostakovich and Brahms Sonatas

Brahms' Sonata for cello and piano in E minor Op. 38; and Shostakovich's Sonata for cello and piano in D minor Op. 40. For piano and cello. 5 p.m Ascension Lutheran Church, 120 Bull St. $20 savannahphilharmonic.org

Savannah St. Patrick's Day Rugby Tournament

One of the largest in the country. Every year the tournament has over 75 teams from locations such as Michigan, Maryland, Florida, Georgia, New York, New Jersey, Ohio, West Virginia as well as teams from Canada, England and Ireland. March 14-15 Daffin Park, 1198 Washington Ave.

Tara Feis Irish Festival

Celebrate authentic Irish heritage through live performances featuring step dance, cultural displays, food, crafts, rides and Irish bands. The festival kicks off with a traditional Irish ceremony featuring the Parade Grand Marshal and local dignitaries in a procession of colorful flags and bagpipes. The event will be hosted by Savannah’s own Harry O’Donoghue. The main stage will feature performances of the Irish Dancers of Savannah, Glor na Daire Academy of Irish Dance and the Dublin Firefighters Pipe and Drum band from Dublin, Ireland, who will also perform in the opening procession. 11 a.m.-5 p.m Emmet Park, End of Bay St. savannahga.gov/arts

The story of five very diverse Southern women who first meet when they were college swim team mates. The show focuses on four of those weekends and spans a period of 33 years. 7:30 p.m. Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. 912-786-5920. tybeearts.org

Theatre: Wit

A one-act play, Wit is a funny, compassionate and devastating account of a brilliant poetry scholar succumbing to ovarian cancer. The production features the Collective Face Theatre Ensemble and is directed by Karla Knudsen. Call 912-232-0018 for reservations for all performances and Mrs. Edson's talk. 8 p.m. Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $20

Wilmington Island Farmers Market

Vendors offer fresh produce, baked goods, honey, meats, poultry, granola, coffee, more. Events also include story time, a musical guest, and other special guests. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. 111 Walthour Rd @ Islands Community Church. Free wifarmersmarket.org

Sunday / 15 Concert: The Goliards

The program will consist of Celtic music from medieval times through the 18th century, and will be sung in Scots, Irish and English, accompanied by players of period instruments. The Goliards will be performing as a quartet, with Ashley Adams Roper (voice), Anne Acker (positive organ and hurdy gurdy), Anne Durant (harp) and John Hillenbrand (vielles and baroque violin). The program will contain some of the most ancient surviving Celtic music as well as songs and airs by Ireland's great composer, Turlough O'Carolan. 3 p.m Bethesda Academy, 9250 Ferguson Ave. Donations accepted 912-495-9081

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Concert: Gil ‘Bop’ Benson

Savannah St. Patrick's Day Rugby Tournament

The Coastal Jazz Association presents Gil “Bop” Benson, a New Jersey native with a long career as a jazz trumpeter, vocalist and educator. He’ll be accompanied by Norm Gagne, Mitch Hennes, and Billy Hoffman. 5 p.m B Tillman, 6700 Waters Avenue. $20 coastaljazz.org

Shamrock Festival and Oyster Roast

Annual event, which features music, prizes, a silent auction, food, beer, and bingo, is Savannah’s only LGBT-focused St. Patrick's Day event and is the organizations biggest fundraiser. Two recent projects benefitted patients of a local hospital as well as a food drive to reduce hunger in Savannah. First City Network is a 501(c) (3) nonprofit group and is the oldest LGBT organization in Georgia. 11 a.m.-5 p.m Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. $20 912-236-2489

Craft Brew Race

Fun 5k road race followed by a local craft beer festival. Runners and walkers are welcome to participate in the 5k around the Grand Prize of America Avenue. The post-race beer festival will be held along the outdoor esplanade at the Savannah Convention Center and will feature more than 25 breweries. 12-4 p.m Savannah International Trade & Convention Center, 1 International Dr. $15-65 info@graymattermarketing.com. craftbrewraces.com/savannah

Theatre: The Dixie Swim Club Film: Death Proof, Planet Terror

This installation of the Florence's "Movies and Meatballs" series consists of Quentin Tarantino's films. 6:30 p.m The Florence, 1 West Victory.

The story of five very diverse Southern women who first meet when they were college swim team mates. The show focuses on four of those weekends. 3 p.m. Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. 912-786-5920. tybeearts.org

Opening Lecture & Members‘ Reception Thursday, March 12, 6 pm / Telfair Academy, 121 Barnard St. Telfair Museums celebrates the opening of three new exhibitions in a joint lecture by Telfair curators. Tania Sammons, Senior Curator of Decorative Arts and Historic Sites, will lecture on a broad array of collection objects related to the drinking of beverages from tea and coffee to j e art p s of on center wine and beer. Courtney McNeil, Curator of Fine Arts and Exhibitions, will lecture on the Anne Taylor Nash and other work by female artists active in Savannah between 1920 and 1960. A light reception will follow the lecture. Free to members or with paid museum admission.

TELFAIR.ORG/CHEERS

jepson cen

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Theatre: Wit

Savannah Saint Patrick's Day Parade

Monday / 16

Tongue: Open Mouth & Music Show hosted by Calvin Thomas

A one-act play, Wit is a compassionate and devastating account of a poetry scholar succumbing to ovarian cancer. Features the Collective Face Theatre Ensemble. Call 912-232-0018 for reservations. 3 p.m. Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $20

Jasper Green Ceremony

Jasper was an American soldier who distinguished himself during the defense of Fort Moultrie, South Carolina in 1776 and the Siege on Savannah in 1779. Because of Sgt. Jasper's sacrifice and dedication to the City of Savannah, his life is celebrated while honoring all of our Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen/women during the Irish season of Saint Patrick. 4:30 p.m Madison Square, West Harris Street.

Tuesday / 17 St. Patrick’s Day Mass

One of the city’s great calling cards to the world since the first public parade here in 1824. Three-plus hours of floats, bands, marchers, and fun. 10:15 a.m Downtown Savannah. Free savannahsaintpatricksday.com

Music, poetry and spoken word on the first and third Tuesdays of the month. third Tuesday of every month, 7-10 p.m Savannah Coffee Roasters, 215 West Liberty Street. Free and open to the public. 912-238-2426. savannahcoffee.com

wednesday / 18 Film: Psychotronic St. Patrick’s Day

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, the Psychotronic Film Society screens a mystery film. 8 p.m The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave.

Celebrate Saint Patrick with Catholic mass on Lafayette Square before the parade. 8 a.m Cathedral of St John the Baptist, 222 East Harris St.

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editor’s note

Climb the Stone Stairs to.... craziness Britt’s hat and one-of-a-kind locally designed T-shirt— “Y’all” with a shamrock—is courtesy of Hope Ebberwein at Saints and Shamrocks at Bull and Liberty for the Streets downtown, absolutely the best shop cover of our in Savannah to get unique Irish/Gaelic/St. St. Patrick’s Day Patrick’s themed clothes and gifts, with a special issue this tasteful flair that really sets them apart. year, we chose to Geoff ’s shoot accompanies the very spehighlight poscial #StoneStairsScavengerHunt inside, sibly the biggest a particularly, uh, insightful look into the viral phenominnermost workings of Savannah’s favorite enon in Savannah: The Stone Stairs of holiday, contributed by the proprietor of Death, as immortalized—or immoralized, The Stone Stairs of Death Facebook page amirite?—in the anonymously authored, himself (Herself? We ain’t sayin’ for sure), extremely irreverent Facebook page of the in his/her own inimitable, mostly NSFW same name. words. Shot by frequent awesome contributing We also have tons of other St. Patrick’s photographer Geoff L. Johnson (some of Day coverage inside as well, including all his great Savannah Stopover shots are in this issue too) on the very same Stone Stairs the bands performing over the weekend and into the big day itself, and a great slate themselves, the shoot features cover girl Britt Scott (also Connect’s graphic designer), of local theatre performance happening all weekend. James Holmes (aka Waldo, aka Black Waldo), and Tom Worley (of Bayou Cafe and Lovely Locks fame). by Jim Morekis

jim@connectsavannah.com

Of particular note this St. Patrick’s weekend for those of you who’ve been here before is the fact that for the first time ever, the entire parade will go the “wrong” way around each of the six squares it navigates on its usual route—for reasons of public safety, we’re told. And of course as per usual there is the presence of the $5-per-day wristbands in case you want to enjoy our (usually free) to-go cup open container privileges. While Tuesday is the actual parade day, starting at 10 a.m., you newbies should know the entire weekend will be nutso downtown, with local tourism officials predicting the biggest crowds on Saturday. (For those of you not imbibing, the City of Savannan sponsors the awesome, alcoholfree family Irish celebration of Tara Feis this Saturday.) Whatever you do, please be careful out there. And if you do go up or down The Stone Stairs of Death—please don’t be a casualty of them! cs

Photo by Geoff L. Johnson

Information: (912) 721-4378 sales@connectsavannah.com Jay Lane, Account Executive jay@connectsavannah.com (912) 721-4381 Matt Twining, Account Executive matt@connectsavannah.com (912) 721-4388 Design & Production Brandon Blatcher, Art Director artdirector@connectsavannah.com (912) 721-4379 Britt Scott, Graphic Designer ads@connectsavannah.com (912) 721-4380 Distribution Wayne Franklin, Distribution Manager (912) 721-4376 Thomas Artwright, Howard Barrett, Jolee Edmondson, Brenda B. Meeks Classifieds Call (912) 231-0250

Our cover models posing on The Stone Stairs of Death are Britt Scott (center), Tom Worley (left), and James Holmes (right).

VOTE Beware the greenwash BEST NOW news & Opinion | The (Civil) Society Column

OF SAVANNAH #2015BOS

WWW.CONNECTSAVANNAH.COM

Collectively known as the “Plastic Bags Everywhere” bills, this legislation effectively robs towns and municipalities of the right to BETWEEN everyone’s regulate plastic bags in any way. That means fabulous St. Patrick’s Day Tybee Island’s attempt to rid itself of the garb and the verdant spring sea turtle-strangling hazards has been sufright around the corner, focated, and the same goes for Athens’ idea there’s no doubt about that it might tag a tiny fee to plastic bags to the “it” color of the encourage shoppers to bring their own. season. The legislation is essentially authored by Emerald, olive, chartreuse, kelly, moss— and for plastic bag manufacturers, whose I see y’all rocking your 50 shades of green. lobbyists cheerfully argue that consumers Although the guy in the “Irish You Were and retailers aren’t really smart enough to Naked” T-shirt maybe deserves a kick in the handle the chaos caused by regulating plasshamrock. tic bags. Instead, the American Progressive As you enjoy the festivities and new foliBag Alliance’s suggestion for mitigating age unfurling in the squares, take care not the pollution caused by the 100 BILLION to fall for any greenwashing—and I’m not bags distributed in the U.S. every year is to talking about your bestie convincing you to recycle them. Sounds reasonable—until you find out skinny-dip in the Forsyth Park fountain. that plastic bags are Enemy No. 1 of single“To greenwash” means to frame a parstream recycling facilities. They clog up ticular project or policy as environmentally friendly when it’s actually quite the opposite. machinery and cost thousands of dollars a month to clear, diminishing the benefits We’ve got a big ol’ bathtub of misrepresented issues happening in Georgia right and driving up the cost of recycling other now, and there are plenty of players who materials. So, no, recycling plastic bags won’t reduce would like to see the pistachio-hued wool their ill effects—and anyone who tells you pulled over our eyes. different is giving you the greenwash. Topping the list is the ratification of SB Next up: Wood pellets. One of Geor139 and HB 444, hustled through the gia’s top exports from the very busy Port of GA Senate and the House Committee on Agriculture and Consumer Affairs like they Savannah, these little pills—also known flashed a Disney Fast Pass. (HB 444 has not as “biomass”—are made from compressed yet gone to the full House for a vote, but the tree pulp and touted as a renewable energy source that can replace filthy fossil fuels. committee pitched it through 23-1.) By Jessica Leigh Lebos jll@connectsavannah.com

Well, surprise! They’re not. Unlike sustainable lumber producers and small-scale wood waste collectors, the biomass industry often harvests entire forests at a time, leaving only a “beauty strip” of trees next to the highway so no one sees the scars. Less trees means less oxygen in the air, and when burned, wood pellets emit as much as 50 percent more carbon dioxide than coal. Quite the dirty little secret! Current legislation allows biomass producers to market their products as sustainable. But no matter how many pellets they push, those companies only remain profitable because of subsidies they receive from European governments. Environmental advocacy group Dogwood Alliance has amassed a coalition of 30 Georgia businesses and organizations that support the “Our Forests Aren’t Fuel” campaign, and indefatigable community organizer Rita Frost has put the issue front and center in Savannah. (Learn more at the Forest Festival in Johnson Square on March 22.) Not fooled by the greenwashers, Frost is going straight to one of their biggest customers: Later this month, she’ll meet with British consulate Jeremy PilmoreBedford to show how solar, wind and other true renewables can better help the United Kingdom meet the European Union’s 2020 climate plan requirements. (In the U.S., Georgia Power and other energy monopolies are sweating the Obama administration’s

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Rita Frost (bottom right) and the rest of Dogwood Alliance aren’t believing any greenwash about the sustainability of the wood pellet industry. strict edicts to reduce carbon emissions on the same timeline.) Seriously, it’s Science 101: How can cutting down trees possibly fight climate change? Sounds like someone’s throwing a whole lotta green shade. But please don’t greendrown yet, ‘cause we still have to talk about SB101, which is supposed to protect Georgia’s precious saltwater marshes and actually kind of doesn’t. After he eliminated the required 25-foot buffer of undisturbed vegetation around saltmarshes last spring, Georgia EPD director Jud Turner asked state legislators to come up with a new compliance law. The result, sponsored by our own representative Ben Watson (R-Savannah), designates the same size buffer as well as a host of “loopholes and exemptions” that may make it easier for developers bring in the bulldozers. What the bill does not contain is any restriction on the use of contaminants such as Roundup within the buffer, an oversight that’s bound to have long-term catastrophic effects. “Prohibiting chemicals in the buffer is essential to preventing destruction of the larvae of fish, crab, and other species key to the food web and marsh ecosystem,” writes Center for a Sustainable Coast executive director David Kyler. “Allowing chemicals in the buffer contradicts its basic purpose.” Despite that logic and repeated calls for revision, SB 101 is currently with the

House’s second readers. Last but not least, we’ve got the grand greenwash job known as the Palmetto Pipeline. A connector feed from the Plantation Pipeline that runs from Louisiana to Maryland, this 360 miles of galvanized steelmwill chug 167,000 gallons of oil a day from the northeast corner of South Carolina to Jacksonville, FL, stopping at a new storage facility in Richmond Hill. Energy transport mammoth Kinder Morgan promises that 80 percent of its new pipeline will follow already existing infrastructure and is designed for minimal impact. But according to its own map handed out at a series of public information meetings last week, much of it will be dug through fragile wetlands that cross four of Georgia’s major rivers: The Satilla, the Altamaha, the Ogeechee, and our already much-beleaguered Savannah. The concern for oil spills and toxic leaks will go on into eternity. Yes, the term “green” is supposed to mean clean, but those of us who’ve lasted through a St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah knows that mold and vomit come in that hue, too... So as you erin go bragh and trip the cobblestones fantastic, mind the jade-colored pools surrounding Georgia’s environmental issues. They might look like fun for an illicit swim, but they’ll leave us far dirtier than we could ever imagine. cs

news & Opinion | city notebook

2015 Census Test: Stand up and be counted Savannah serves as test market for the rest of the U.S. By Jessica Leigh Lebos jll@connectsavannah.com

EVERY ten years, the U.S. Census Bureau is tasked with tallying every American. To streamline the process and reduce costs in 2020, the government is testing new ways to count its citizens—and Savannah is the laboratory. For decades, folks have responded to the census through the U.S. Postal Service, filling out a form and sending it in the old-fashioned way. To track those slow to answer, the Census Bureau would then employ thousands of extra workers to collect information door-to-door. The bureau will use the internet for the first time in 2020, asking Americans to fill out questionnaires using a computer or smart phone. A reduced force of census workers will then follow up as necessary with tablets and other handheld wi-fi devices. The new system is expected to save taxpayers $5 billion. “This isn’t cutting edge. This is technology most of us already use quite frequently,” says U.S. Census Bureau director John H. Thompson, who was in Savannah recently to discuss a test run of the campaign. “In our mobile society, this is how people will respond to the census.” To make the next Census as convenient as possible, Thompson and his team understand that it’s important to work out any snags early. They chose Savannah and its

Census director John H. Thompson (l.) met with organizers in Savannah recently. Photo courtesy of U.S. Census surrounding areas as one of two test sites that will dictate how the rest of the country will hear about the 2020 Census. Data collected from Savannah will be used to assess the efficacy of the Census’ early-response campaign; the other test site in Maricopa County, AZ will focus mostly on “nonresponse follow-up.” Selected for its ethnic and economic diversity as well as an ideal urban-to-rural ratio, the Savannah testing area consists of 20 counties, including Appling, Bacon, Bryan, Bulloch, Candler, Chatham, Effingham, Evans, Jeff Davis, Liberty, Long, McIntosh, Montgomery, Screven, Tattnall, Toombs and Wayne counties in Georgia. South Carolina’s Beaufort, Hampton

and Jasper counties are also covered in the Savannah test site. Approximately 338,000 households currently exist within the test area, a total of 923,000 people. The ethnic breakdown shows as 59 percent white and 30 percent African American; Hispanic, Asian and other groups compose the remainder. The Census collects basic information about age, gender, income and ethnicity to help determine new infrastructure, how to allocate funds and dozens of vital statistical uses. Participation in the Census is required by law, though there are always those who don’t want the government to know where they live, let alone that they even exist. Thompson hopes that an emphasis on building community partnerships will increase early participation. Reverend Thurman Tillman of First African Baptist Church will help spread the word through churches and neighborhood groups throughout Chatham County and will head several events in the coming months. “People respond to something when it comes from someone they trust,” says Tillman. Local organizers have also reached out the Latino community, and Spanish versions of all Census materials are available online. Moving Census operations online seems like a clear choice. The White House reported in 2013 that 98 percent of Americans had access to basic broadband, and other studies show that 80 percent have internet access at home. An average of 72.9

percent of households in the Savannah area have internet subscriptions, but that statistic that drops dramatically in rural areas. “I think the numbers where I live are far lower than that,” considers Jeff Davis Ledger editor Tommy Purser of the internetconnected households in his hometown of Hazelhurst, GA. A hundred miles from any urban center, Jeff Davis County is one of the most remote spots in the test area. Purser anticipates the challenges of getting his neighbors to participate and plans to use the Ledger to help the Census 2015 test campaign reach residents. “Some people don’t understand the importance of this,” he said. “But we’re going to partner with folks and do our best.” Citizens can currently sign up for email or text alerts through the “Notify Me” at www. census.gov/2015, and the entire Census questionnaire can be completed from March 23 through May 31. The test data is only being collected to help design the final system and will not be kept as official statistics. (Yes, you’ll still have to fill out the official Census in 2020.) The test just takes a few clicks, and Thompson reminds that Savannah and its surrounding communities have the chance to help the rest of the country stand up and be counted. “The primary focus of this test is to figure out how to motivate people to respond via the internet.” cs Register for the test at www.census.gov/2015

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news & Opinion | The straight dope

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be executed so researchers could study the effect of the psychological trauma on the women’s menstrual cycles. But most Nazi medical research was intensely professional; proportionately, more German physicians (48 percent) joined the Nazi party than any other occupation. And Germany was a science powerhouse; through 1939, Germans accounted for more than a third of all Nobel prizes in medicine, chemistry, and physics. So yes, there’s plenty of Nazi-era research that doctors have used and built on ever since: Nazi scientists were pioneers in the study of hormones and vitamins, they were I once heard that Dr. Mengele’s experiments the first to discover the link between smokwere medicine’s “dirty little secret”: modern ing and lung cancer, and they had the most medical science had gained from his atrocities, aggressive and successful cancer-prevention but such a fact couldn’t be made public. Later, program of the time. But the data gathered in the concentrathough, a friend in the biomedical tech industry tion camps tended towards the gruesome, told me he had never found any reference to unscientific, and fairly useless. Two cases Mengele’s work in the literature and that his where these experiments did have some experiments had no medical value. Can you clear public-health application, though, shed some light on this? —Gilad, UK involved phosgene gas and hypothermia. The latter was part of German efforts to YOU’RE actually both right—but then again, pretty much all medical research back save Luftwaffe pilots downed in the North Sea: working at Dachau, SS doctor Sigthen was a dirty little secret. These days mund Rascher had prisoners strapped down studies consist of college kids getting paid 40 bucks to smoke weed and sit in an MRI naked in freezing weather or submerged in ice water for hours at a time; blood, urine, scanner for an hour, but things were differand mucus samples were taken regularly ent back in the day: The Tuskegee syphilis while their body temperature dropped. experiment, where rural men with the disOn one hand, Rascher obtained data that ease were kept ignorant of their condition no responsible researcher ever could, and he and prevented from getting treatment, is justly infamous, but there’s also the ’40s case developed the life-saving hypothermia treatment technique called rapid active rewarmwhere inmates at a New York correctional facility were directed to swallow suspended ing. On the other hand, he killed as many as 90 people to do it. fecal matter so researchers could study a The Dachau data were published in a stomach bug. In 1942 Jonas Salk himself led a study that 1946 report by a U.S. medical advisor at the injected insane-asylum patients in Michigan Nuremberg trials and quietly used by various researchers over the years until in 1988 with a experimental flu vaccine, apparently Dr. Robert Pozos of the University of Minwith less than fully informed consent. The nesota’s Hypothermia Laboratory brought list goes on. Rascher’s work to wider attention in hopes Of course, if we’re talking circles of hell, of starting a discussion about bioethics. He none of these would place you as deep in got one: impassioned doctors, ethicists, and the inferno as the experiments conducted Holocaust survivors weighed in; conferences in Nazi concentration camps, which reguwere organized. The editor of the New Englarly crossed the line into pure sadism and land Journal of Medicine flatly declared the horror—like the one where condemned data unusable. female prisoners were told the date they’d

At around the same time, authors of a draft report for the Environmental Protection Agency cited Nazi data on phosgene from 1943, when doctors exposed 52 prisoners to the gas (used as a chemical weapon in World War I) and timed how long it took them to die. This information was relevant to regulating phosgene use at U.S. plastics and pesticide plants, but 22 EPA scientists wrote a letter objecting, and the cite was deleted. Josef Mengele’s work didn’t pose such ethical quandaries. He’d published one prewar paper on hereditary cleft palates, but his notorious experiments at Auschwitz on hundreds of pairs of twins produced no notable conclusions. He did, however, contribute significantly to a subtler Nazi plot: the channeling of thousands of victims’ brains and other organs, cadavers, and blood and tissue samples to major research institutions, including the prestigious Kaiser Wilhelm Institute for Brain Research. Many prominent German neuroscientists worked with the brains: Julius Hallervorden, for example, went on to discover a rare neurodegenerative disorder that until recently bore his name (now it’s called NBIA). Most of these doctors died with their reputations intact. But that was legitimate lab work. By contrast, the camp experiments were never likely to be good science: besides being overly concerned with efficient methods of killing people, they were tainted by racial bias and the use of atypically unhealthy subject groups. Their only really useful outcome was the Nuremberg Code—the first major enumeration of international research ethics, written into the verdict of the Nazi doctors’ trial in 1947. It took humanity 200,000 years, but we finally developed the moral maturity to realize you shouldn’t feed unwitting schoolchildren radioactive breakfast cereal just to see what happens. cs By cecil adams Send questions to Cecil via straightdope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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news & Opinion | blotter 2015 Sav/Chatham County Homicide Total through Sun. March 8:

6 (2 solved)

Breakthrough in Aug. 2014 Carver Heights murder

Wednesday, “the collaborative work of a multiagency taskforce led to the arrest of murder suspect, Jo’Andre Robbins,18, for the shooting death of Wayne Edwards, 17” in an August 2014 murder, police say. Robbins was found at a residence on the 5600 block of Betty Dr. “The shooting happened Aug. 16 outside of a residence on the 1200 block of Elliott Street, in Carver Heights. Six days later, Robbins was charged with Edwards’ murder,” police say. Dec. 23 of last year, Michael Thompson, of Savannah was arrested in Augusta and charged in connection to this case.

Woman charged with felony false reports in wake of Bay Street fracas

Police filed felony charges against a Florida woman “who misrepresented circumstances that led up to a fight that left her companion with injuries on Feb. 2.”

Angel Little, 36, of Riverview, FL., will be charged with filing a false police report after she and her companion, Corey Walters, 38, became involved in a fight on Bay Street near Bull Street after 2 a.m. “She initially told Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan Police the couple had been attacked, beaten, kicked in the head and face and robbed by five to six males who left in a maroon sports sedan,” police say. “But a video obtained after a search warrant was served on a nearby business refutes most of the couples’ account.” The video indicates Walters, 38, “instigated the confrontation that required his medical treatment. Walters was shown walking away and returning to confront two men standing on the sidewalk several times.”

streets about 2:09 p.m. The officers found “an AK47, a semiautomatic pistol, assorted ammunition, marijuana packaged in bags and scales.”

Knockout game suspects sought

Police seek the public’s help in locating “two males who appeared to randomly attacked pedestriTrail suspect sought ans in two incidents Detectives are searchSunday.” ing for a man “reported to In the first incirged have grabbed a teenage girl dent, two Jersey City, cha , bins Rob ndre Jo’A running on a wood-covered in death of Wayne Edwards NJ, men were walkwalking trail on Wilmington ing at East Congress Island Thursday evening.” and Habersham “The teen reported that she had sepastreets about 7:13 p.m. when the car (posrated from her jogging mates after becomsibly a Cadillac DeVille) stopped beside ing winded about 5 p.m. in the woods on them; “the passenger exited and punched Johnny Mercer Boulevard when her arms a 35-year-old victim several times in the were grabbed by a male attempting to pull face.” Witnesses confirmed the report. Three arrested on for drugs and guns her away from the trail,” police say. At 8 p.m., a 21-year-old woman attending college in Savannah reported “she was Police arrested three males and confisPolice are seeking a white male in his walking with a male when the car stopped cated “at least four semiautomatic weapons 30s or 40s, 6 feet with a muscular build near them and she was punched and and drug sales paraphernalia after a traffic and deep voice. knocked down by the passenger,” who is stop Wednesday night,” police say. Metro is investigating a similar encoundescribed as a black male, about 6 ft. with Arrested were Franklin Deangelo Alexan- ter on the same trail Feb. 25, when a fama slender to medium body style, short hair der, 30, of 1803 East 62nd Street; Ja’vonte ily reported a man hidden behind trees and light complexion. cs Montrez Hamilton, 22, and Dwayne Leon- called to them. “They said they never saw the male but felt he was black based on his ard Abney, 17. Give anonymous crime tips to Crimestopvoice,” police say. Police stopped a Chevrolet Tahoe for pers at 912/234-2020 or text CRIMES a traffic offense at West 41st and Bulloch (274637) using keyword CSTOP2020.

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news & Opinion | News of the weird Fine Points of the Law

Shooting “upskirt” photos of a 13-yearold girl is not illegal in Oregon, declared Judge Eric Butterfield in February, thus acquitting Patrick Buono, 61, of the crimes of invasion of privacy and “encouraging child sexual abuse.” Buono’s behavior was “appalling,” Judge Butterfield noted, but since the girl was in a public place (a Target store) and no nudity was involved (she wore underpants), the specifics of Oregon statutes were not violated. Said Buono’s lawyer, “It’s incumbent on us as citizens to cover up whatever we don’t want filmed in public places.”

Is This a Great Country, or What?

• Felons, and those convicted of domestic assault, and those with a history of mental illness, cannot by federal law buy firearms or explosive devices, but Americans on the National Counterterrorism Center’s consolidated watch list can — and may possess an unlimited quantity. (In 2013 and 2014, 455 of 486 prospective purchasers on the list passed the background check, and going back to 2004, 2,043 of 2,233, according to a recent Government Accountability Office report.) Legislation to add watch listees as a banned category was introduced again this year, but has failed several times in the past. • The annual National Basketball Association All-Star game in February provided a windfall for the co-host arena’s proprietor, James L. Dolan, whose family owns not only Madison Square Garden but also the NBA’s richest franchise (the Knicks), hockey’s second-richest (the Rangers), and the New York region’s telecom juggernaut Cablevision. Among the government handouts Dolan receives is the 33-year (and counting) exemption from property taxes for the Garden’s four square blocks (“among the most valuable (plots of land) on Earth,” according to New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio) — a government gift, in 2014 alone, worth $54 million.

Great Art!

The three-week February exhibition of Alejandro Figueredo Diaz-Perera consisted of a blank wall in Chicago’s West Loop gallery — with the artist present only in the sense that he was residing in a narrow, 10-foot crawl space behind the wall with only a single sign alerting patrons (“I am here, but you will not see me”).

Diaz-Perera’s “In the Absence of a Body” was designed, he said, to explore the boundary between presence and absence.

women’s relationship was unclear from news and found the burglar dazed, but the man reports.) departed before police arrived. Only when Brady later viewed video of the front of his Perspective bar did he realize what the man had been Owlfest The “Pedophile Loophole”: The Missisup to. (1) A motorist smashed into a power pole sippi Department of Education reported • Least Industrious Criminals: (1) Depuat 2 a.m. on Feb. 25 in Tukwila, Washingrecently that federal student privacy law ties in Santa Rosa County, Florida, arrested ton, because, he explained, he was “chasing bars local schools from alerting the MDE Kevin Barbour, 37, after he fled, on foot, an owl.” (Police somehow about college-age student from a recent traffic stop. Deputies chased found him to be sober and teachers who might be him awhile, then called for K-9 backup, and did not charge him.) (2) having inappropriate rela- by the time the dogs arrived, a sound resemOfficials in Salem, Oregon, tionships with the K-12 bling a “snorting wild boar” saturated the posted signs in February to students they teach. The area. A snoring Barbour was found asleep warn joggers on a popular Family Educational Rights under a tree and arrested. (2) Michael Cassomething big running path that they might and Privacy Act apparsano, 38, was arrested in Lodi, New Jersey, going on this be attacked by a rogue owl or ently controls regulation of in February, after allegedly robbing the weekend? owls, after four people were the student teachers durHudson City Savings Bank of about $4,000. aggressively pecked at by diveing on-the-job classroom He was spotted minutes later, a block away at a Dunkin Donuts, sipping coffee. bombers. (One design for the training (or, as a reporter sign came from cable TV perfor the Clarion-Ledger sonality Rachel Maddow.) (3) of Jackson wrote, “What Recurring Themes A bar called Annie the Owl happens in college, apparNews of the Weird has reported on joyently, stays in college”). The ous “fertility” festivals in South Korea and was scheduled for a special one-week event in London MDE, which issues educa- Japan in which uninhibited celebrants branin March, for patrons to sip tor licenses, thus may never dish artistic “penises” (from parade floats to learn of the inappropriate drinks while domesticated souvenir phalluses as jewelry, flower pots, owls perch on their shoulders. behavior of the student food, etc. — serving adults and little kids Interest was so keen that a teacher. alike). It turns out that Greece, too, has such lottery was required for tickets. an annual spectacle, “Bourani,” in the town People With Issues of Tirnavos, on the first day of Lent, with The Continuing Crisis “Mummy Maxine” and her husband, historic roots based on inspiring fertile crops America’s Least Interesting Couple: Bill Derek Ventham, run adult baby nurseries as well as human fertility. Wrote Vice.com Bresnan, 74, of Toms River, New Jersey, has (the current one, in North Liverpool, Engin its dispatch, “People keep kissing (the written a love letter to his wife, Kirsten, also land), charging men the equivalent of $115 penises), taking selfies with them, and wear74, every day for nearly 40 years — more an hour to lounge in their cribs, in maning them as earrings.” than 10,000 in number — and continuing, sized infant clothing, while being fawned according to a February ABC News report. over as if they were helpless pre-toddlers. A News of the Weird Classic (August “We’ve never had a fight,” he said. Their (No sex play is allowed, but diaper-changing 2010) romance continues over, for example, playcosts about $40 extra.) Even tamer is the Mark Seamands, 39, went to trial in ing “Boggle” at breakfast or having candlelit “adult preschool” in New York City that May (2010) in Port Angeles, Washington, dinners with wine. (Bonus: Kirsten has Michelle Lapidos and a partner intend to accused of second-degree assault and two hoarded all of the letters, filed by date, in 25 start soon. A month-long course will allow lesser charges for the hot-iron branding boxes.) grownups to “relive their pre-K days” with of his three children, aged 13, 15 and 18. finger-painting, show-and-tell and nap time, Each of the kids bore the mark “SK,” for Latest Religious Messages she told the Village Voice in January, all “Seamands’ Kids.” At trial, however, the kids Margurite Haragan, 58, was charged with while dressing in “your 4-year-old best.” testified that they not only consented to the two harassment counts against a Jewish branding but thought it was cool (despite woman in Boise, Idaho, in February after Least Competent Criminals the second-degree burns), and as a result, the victim complained of being screamed at • Embarrassing: Surveillance video the jury dismissed the assault charge and and roughed up by Haragan, who was tryreleased in February by the Irish Independeadlocked on the two lesser ones. cs ing to pressure her to acknowledge a belief dent showed a small-time burglar trying in Jesus Christ. After Haragan allegedly to break into a car at 1 a.m. in front of the stepped on the woman’s neck and pulled Pheasant bar in Drogheda, Ireland, by By chuck shepherd her hair upward, the victim promised to smashing a window with a brick — but UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE become a Christian. Haragan then departed also showed that the brick rebounded and but returned two days later to continue knocked the man out, bloodying him. Gerry the alleged harassment. (The genesis of the Brady, owner of the bar, was just closing up

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#savstpat2015 | stone stairs of death st. patrick’s day scavenger hunt

#StoneStairsScavengerHunt Start Here WE asked everyone’s favorite anonymous local pundit, the dude behind The Stone Stairs of Death Facebook page, to help put together our first annual St. Patrick’s Day Scavenger Hunt—about the real Savannah St. Patrick’s Day celebration, as it’s really celebrated, in the, uh, unique style and verbiage of The Stone Stairs of Death. Take this issue with you on the big day and see who can get the most points! Low score buys the first round of Jameson shots at Chuck’s after y’all finish. Post your selfies with the hashtag #StoneStairsScavengerHunt and be eligible to win the Grand Prize, never before offered: Your very own FREE LIFETIME SUBSCRIPTION to Connect Savannah!*

Questionable Parenting Techniques

If you don’t know the Stone Stairs of Death guy, don’t look here! He’s ANONYMOUS, get it? He could be any one of us, anytime. So be careful out there!

Be on the lookout for this one— SERIOUSLY. The abandoned stroller... or, those that sit their beer ON said stroller, just to have the beer cobblestone-dribble into the lap of the unwitting child. Happens ALL of the drunktarded time on St. Pat’s. 10 Points, 25 Points for Intervening and Not Getting Your Ass Shot

2 Points Per Drink

Tourist Beatdown Location on River Street

Have a Cocktail at Pinkie Masters 10 Points

Text By The Stone Stairs of Death, Concept by Anna Chandler, Design by Brandon Blatcher

I’ll be there at, like, 8:30 in the shit show morning... you should TRY and join me.

Do you remember those two tourists that shit-talked their OWN WAY into an epic River Street ass beating and then, according to police, LIED about the FACT that they brought on themselves? Well, you should stop by and take a selfie where the pummeling of ass occurred. The address is 1 West River Street, aka, RIGHT NEXT TO THE SAVANNAH F***ING VISITOR CENTER!!! Directly behind City Hall, of course... Let’s just hope your selfie doesn’t turn out looking like one of these two, as they posted on their own Facebook pages:

Uncomfortably Awkward Kissing of Soldiers Marching in the Parade

25 Points, 35 Pts for Reenactment

Be on the lookout for WAY TOO YOUNG girls with heavy lipstick kissing soldiers. As well as my awesome-as-f*** gay friends, trying to sneak one in! My buddy Brandon got yanked away by the police for his attempt a couple of years ago—it was F***ING HILARIOUS!

Drunk Girl Walking With Her Shoes in Her Hands

20 Points, 25 Pts If Also Crying

Pretty f***ing gross, in itself, but they sometimes have their male friends carry them over their shoulder... you know, because of that ridiculous “I Got River Faced on Shit Street” thing.

*Connect Savannah is, of course, always available free at connectsavannah.com. That’s it, that’s the Grand Prize! Get it? Don’t be an idiotard.

Crying Drunk Girls

One of my all-time favorites. Hashtag my ass EVERY SINGLE TIME you see one. PLEASE!!! 15 Points Per Girl

#stonestairsscavengerhunt |

continued from previous page

Ben Carter Sighting

Downtown’s favorite multi-millionaire/Broughton Street savior has been known to enjoy Savannah’s cultural scene. We can’t imagine he won’t be out and about, or even in the parade itself. 40 Points, 75 Pts For Selfie With Him 9 Billion Pts For Selfie On His Yacht

Give a Pedicabber a Bottled Water

Hell yes, you should. These awesome folks are working their ASSES OFF, often pedaling around, oh, I don’t know...1000+ lbs of drunk, sloppy and stupid per ride??!? Seriously, hook them up with a water... or one of those “ade” things. 25 Points

Heckling Local Politicians Riding in the Parade Another one of my all time favorites, especially when said politician pretends to be temporarily deaf. I’m a very active participant in this one, myself—count on Mayor Edna’s absurd flower(s) to be a particular highlight. 10 Points

Spotting Someone Urinating and/or Vomiting in the Broughton Street Planters

I’m not sure if this is a “thing” yet, but I sure hope it becomes one. 20 Points Per Biological Function

Waldo Sighting

Vehicle Getting Towed Beer at The Legion, Burger at Betty Bombers

They are FINALLY back open! Betty Bombers, too!! HEY-OOOO!!!! One of the most AWESOME bars in Savannah. Seriously, I am on my way over there now... I mean, I am LITERALLY writing this while on the way. 5 Pts Per Purchase

Nothing says “Welcome to Savannah” so much as getting up close and personal with our fair city’s most ruthlessly efficient government department, Parking Services. This happened to me a few St. Pat’s back...AND I CALLED BULLSHIT ON THEM!!! I was parked overnight on a side street, and there were no signs up to let me know that it was a towing zone. NONE. I ,of course, got reimbursed for the city’s dipshitiotardotry. My buddy Brandon (mentioned earlier) was the the one that got his drunk ass out of bed to come and pick me up to get my car the following day. Boy, was that a discombobulated shit show of a morning… ’09, I think. 5 Points, 10 Pts for Out of Town Tag

Waldo, aka James Holmes, is everywhere on St. Patrick’s Day. He even photobombed our cover! I bet you’ll see him out and about. Tell his ass The Stone Stairs said hi. 15 Points, 20 Pts for Selfie With Him

Jerry Spence Sighting

If you don’t actually see him downtown on St. Pat’s Day, maybe check the mugshots? “Do you know who I am???” 15 Points

Uhhhh LAME Corporate Floats in the Parade That Could Be In Any Parade, Anywhere

They come out to play EVERY F***ING YEAR—let me know how many you see. 5 Points

Walk Down The Stone Stairs of Death

Yep. Located off of Williamson, between Chuck’s and Dub’s, I am the grandest gateway down into the River Street shit show. Innumerable faceplants and maimings have been documented here over the years. DON’T BE A CASUALTY OF THE STAIRS!!! Just ease on down and join me for a Jameson or 20... I’ll be the guy doing an ass-ton of shit talking. You should, too. 50 Points, Instant Disqualification If You Faceplant Like an Idiotard

#SAVSTPAT2015 | frequently asked questions

Partyin’ peeps preening at last years parade

St. Patrick’s Day FAQs

What’s up with this “Festival Area” thing?

Do’s & Don’t’s & a wee bit ‘o snark

HERE’S the deal: For this four-day “Festival Period” the rules change in the “Festival Area,” aka “The Control Zone.” To use to-go cups between East Broad on the east, the Savannah River on the north, MLK Jr. Boulevard on the west, and Broughton Lane to the south (from MLK to Drayton, where it moves north to Bay Lane), you must buy a wristband at $5 a day. Wristbands are needed from: March 14, 10 a.m.-1 a.m.; March 15, 12:30 p.m.-10 p.m., March 16, 11 a.m.-midnight; and St. Patrick’s Day March 17, 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Yup, that’s right, Savannah changes the rules for this celebration this one time of year in order to increase regulation on to-go cups and make money off of them.

By Jim Morekis jim@connectsavannah.com

YEAH, LOVE ME some St. Patty’s Day in Savannah, don’t you? Woo-hoo. SURE, but Patty is a girl’s name. If you insist on abbreviating it, at least go with “St. Paddy’s Day.” Though “Paddy” is often a derogatory term for the Irish, not to mention pretty disrespectful to a saint.

How ‘bout if I just get drunk inside my car? Is that part of the “Festival Area?”

But yet another piece of last-minute legislation—we’re real big on that down here—is working its way through the stately chambers of the Georgia Legislature as we go to press. Long story short, our bet is that the Governor will probably sign the bill into law permitting bars to be open this Sunday, but it might literally be at the last possible minute. Who should I follow on Twitter? OUR handle is @connectsavannah, and the City of Savannah tweets breaking St. Patrick’s Day and safety news from @savstpat YES! Scored a parking spot right on the parade route, bro. I’ll just take this yellow bag thingie off the parking meter. No one will know, right?

NO one except the police and the tow truck driver. Owners of towed cars must get a NO. That’s called the “DUI Area.” release form from police HQ at Habersham Cool story, bro. So you can just walk and Oglethorpe. Good luck! around and drink in Savannah? You Cute. Will Savannah bars be open the Only on St. Patrick’s Day, Tuesday March Southerners are crazy. Sunday before St. Patrick’s Day? 17, is parking meter/time zone enforcement waived. However, all safety and obstruction IT’S complicated. Last year the Georgia leg- violations will be ticketed and/or towed as MAYBE, but we don’t consider to-go cups crazy. They are one of the most enlightened islature approved a bill at the eleventh hour usual, beginning 6 a.m. Tuesday. to open Savannah bars March 16-18 of the things about our fair city, an admirable year, if any of those days is a Sunday. legacy of the days when Americans were What about parking garages? But guess what? This year Sunday is trusted to be capable, competent citizens March 15. responsible for their own decisions. BRYAN Street Garage, Liberty Street So didn’t our visionary elected officials Anyone over 21 can enjoy an alcoholic Garage, the Robbie Robinson Garage, State have a calendar in front of them or an drink in public areas throughout most of Street Garage, and the Whitaker Street iPhone or something when they wrote that Garage underneath Ellis Square will be downtown north of Jones Street. Cups must be paper, plastic or styrofoam, and 16 law last year, so they could see that the exact open 24 hours a day Sat.-Tues., for $20 a ounces or less. No other alcoholic containers same problem would come up the very next day, first come first serve. year? Welcome to Georgia! 18 are allowed.

However, monthly parkers are guaranteed a space until 5 p.m. Friday and until 8 a.m. St. Patrick’s Day. Visitor passes and residential decals are NOT valid during the festival. Vehicles can NOT exit until after the parade. The Civic Center Parking Lot will be closed to the public Tuesday, March 17. My rescue pit bull with the green bandana is gonna love the parade. Don’t worry, pit bulls are totally safe. Especially around very small children. THAT’S not actually a question. But no, dogs aren’t allowed in the Festival Area. The only exceptions are service dogs and residents walking their own dogs. How ’bout the six-foot python around my neck? Real conversation starter with the ladies, if you know what I mean. ACTUALLY the City prohibits reptiles from the Festival Area, so leave Lucifer at home. And no, it’s not a “seeing eye snake.” Pretty funny. Hey, I gotta pee. Any porta– potties in this town? HUNDREDS along the parade, either along the route itself or nearby adjacent squares. River Street will have many as well. No worries, I’ll just whip it out right here. NO! Please refrain from relieving yourself al fresco—public urination is the single most “popular” reason to get arrested on St. Patrick’s Day here. cs

RIVER STREET ,

ST. PATRICK S DAY R

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#SAVSTPAT2015 | st. patrick’s day parade route & parking/transportation info

Get your St. Patrick’s Day Parade & parking info here GET ON THE BUS

SO YOU’RE thinking: Wouldn’t it be awesome not to have to drive into downtown to see the parade? Yes. Yes it would be so awesome. That’s why Chatham Area Transit (CAT) will provide a $5 round–trip park ‘n’ ride St. Patrick’s Day shuttle March 17, 7 a.m.-4 p.m. from these locations: • Westside at the Westside Shopping Center on Hwy 80 in Garden City; • Eastside at the Island Towne Centre on Whitemarsh Island; • Southside at the Savannah Mall near Dillard’s. Shuttles begin return trips from the parade downtown noon–4 p.m. After 4 p.m., shuttle patrons can return to cars via CAT routes 3B, 10 East Savannah, and 14 Abercorn. Anyone taking a shuttle downtown who does not want to return on the afternoon shuttle can use the CAT wristband to ride the regular routes. Catch a CAT from the Transit Center or from other regularly marked bus stops not affected by the parade reroutes. The fare-free dot shuttle service will be suspended.

GET ON YOUR BIKE

DON’T forget about the option to just ride your bikes into town! It’s so easy that a lot of people forget to think about it. The main bike paths north into downtown are on Lincoln Street (northbound traffic only) and Habersham Street. The main bike path south out of downtown after the festivities is on Price Street (southbound traffic only). Keep in mind Washington Avenue is a well-designed east/west corridor to use to get to the aforementioned north/south routes.

LATE NIGHT TRANSPORTATION

THE following CAT routes will provide FREE service 10 p.m.-4 a.m. on Saturday night March 14, when the heaviest partying is expected: 3B Augusta Ave 10 East Savannah – Will not service Wilminton Island 14 Abercorn 17 Silk Hope 27 Waters – Will not service stop at Memorial Health main entrance 31 Skidaway/Sandfly There’s a shuttle to Hutchinson Island on Saturday too. From noon-1 a.m., catch the bus at Indian & Fahm.

at Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd and Indian Street. From 2:30 p.m. on Friday, March 13 until midnight, Tuesday, March 17, ALL ferry service will go from Trade Center Landing to Waving Girl Landing (by the Marriott). Sat. March 14: Regular ferry hours 7 a.m.-midnight between Trade Center Landing and Waving Girl Landing ONLY Free shuttle noon–1 a.m. Tue., March 17: Ferry hours 6:30 a.m.-midnight between Trade Center Landing and Waving Girl Landing ONLY Free shuttle 7 a.m.-1 a.m.

HOW ‘BOUT HUTCHINSON?

WHAT ABOUT THE ACTUAL PARADE?

THE Savannah International Trade & Convention Center across the Savannah River on Hutchinson Island offers another option. Parking at the center will be open noon10 p.m. Sat. March 14 and 7 a.m.-9 p.m. Tue. March 17, all for $20 per vehicle. The water ferry will run from Savannah International Trade & Convention Center 7 a.m. to 2:30 a.m. The Chatham Area Transit (CAT) Shuttle Service will run from 7 a.m. to 4 a.m. The CAT shuttle pick-up and drop-off location for passengers downtown will be

OH YEAH, that. Our St. Patrick’s Day Parade starts about 10 a.m. Tuesday morning. It lasts several hours, so pace yourself. The “official” viewing area for dignitaries and such is on Abercorn near Lafayette Square. Lafayette Square is itself one of the more popular places to watch the parade, and is one of the places where the bands perform their best in order to show their stuff for the TV cameras. Just don’t think about camping out in any of the squares the night before. You can’t set up your party station in parks and squares until 6 a.m. Tuesday.

The only furniture allowed in squares are tables, coolers, lawn chairs and 10-by10-foot tents. NO grills, amplified sound, kegs, advertisements, barriers, or personal bartenders. All your stuff has to be out of the square by 6 p.m. Tuesday. The use of City electricity and water is prohibited.

HEY, THE PARADE IS GOING THE WRONG WAY AROUND THE SQUARES. WHAT IS THIS, SOME KINDA WEIRD EUROPEAN TYPE SOCIALIST FOREIGNER DEAL THAT OBAMA MADE YOU DO?

IN AN interesting twist, this marks the first year that the Savannah St. Patrick’s Day Parade will go the “wrong” way around all six downtown squares it negotiates on its route. The stated reason is for crowd control and safety, to make things easier for any emergency vehicles and also so that festivalgoers won’t be as tempted to cross the parade route to make their way to the many Cityinstalled Porta-Potties. No word on why they couldn’t just move the Porta-Potties instead. Guess you’ll have to ask Obama. cs

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#savstpat2015 | a lot more than you wanted to know about wristbands

Will you take a risk on a wristband?

Technically you gotta buy one for each day you’re gonna drink in the Festival Area It’s Free and legal for adults of legal drinking age to walk around most of downtown Savannah with one of our famous to-go cups in hand. Except during the official St. Patrick’s Day Festival, that is. In an effort to recoup the costs of entertainment at the multi-day affair —and cleaning up the huge mess afterward— the Savannah Waterfront Association hit on the idea a few years back to charge folks $5 a day for the usually free privilege. However, you do not need a wristband to drink inside an establishment. Confused yet? While there is a nearly $70 fine for noncompliance, the truth is local police have their hands full with more important stuff during this celebration. In years past local cops have not gone out of their way to crack down on enforcing the use of wristbands. Making enforcement even less likely is the fact that there’s a loophole big enough to drive a

parade float through: You don’t need a wristband to hold a to-go cup right outside the entrance to a bar or restaurant if you’re just standing outside to take a smoke!

Anyway, to buy a wristband—and yes it’s five bucks per day, not the whole festival period—there are over two dozen spots around the festival area where you can

purchase them, as seen in the map below, which also shows the various musical stages active during the four-day celebration. cs

sales stand. Left, a typical wristband ney at last t stage hosted Kevn Kin Below, the Johnson Stree celebration. year’s St. Patrick’s Day

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#savstpat2015 | St. Patrick’s Band page St. Patrick’s Day is a perfect opportunity to check out the hardworking talent that we boast right here at home: our signature bluesmen, like Eric Culberson and Hitman, hold down River Street all year long, and great bands like Thomas Claxton and the Myth, Bottles & Cans, and more are not to be missed. If you have friends visiting for the weekend, no music tour of Savannah is complete without hearing a few songs from our Americana/country leaders The Train Wrecks and The Accomplices. Music will be ringing out across downtown from multiple stages; plan your own schedule and make sure to see our local folks as well as the great regional talent coming in for the festivities.

Radio Birds

MARCH 16 MEAGAN JEAN & THE KFB INNOCENT GUN TRIO

Atlanta’s Justin Keller, Jaz Dixon, Chase Lamondo, and Colin Dean make up the bristling drive of Radio Birds. They come through to Barrelhouse South from time to time, and it’ll definitely be a treat to see them rock the Red Hare Stage: with a sound that blends blues, indie sensibilities and an ear for a good hook, their high-energy show will appeal to fans of all kinds of styles.

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By Anna Chandler | anna@connectsavannah.com

Saturday, March 14, Red Hare Stage, 4 p.m.

The Steppin Stones

Hannah Wicklund started rock trio The Steppin Stones when she was just—wait for it—eight years old. Watching Wicklund grow in her incredible command of the electric guitar has been a treat for Savannah: as she slays rock god solos and belts out the classics, it’s impossible to not cheer The Steppin Stones on. 2015 marks their ninth year together as a band. “Early on, we were doing straight classic rock: Heart, Pat Benatar, Rolling Stones, Janis, stuff like that,” Wicklund remembers. “We still have a lot of covers, but we definitely are much heavier on original content.” Having just finished up their third studio record, Wicklund advises that the Hilton Head band will break out some new material at their St. Patrick’s Day shows in addition to old crowd favorites. “Savannah is absolutely our favorite place to play,” she says excitedly. “It’s just consistently so much fun. The people really appreciate the music and take time to come see you play.” Monday, March 16, Wild Wing Stage, 4:30 p.m.

In for a Penny

There’s a brand-new band in town just in time for the wearin’ of the green! After 10 years away from music, Sean McNally is back in action with a seasonally-appropriate band: In for a Penny. “Probably the best description would be Irish folk-punk,” says McNally. “It’s full on energy and even though I’m 46 years old, I feel like a kid again when we play together.” In for a Penny is currently finishing up a three-song EP, recorded by Kota Mundi’s Paxton Willis (he played the drum and bass tracks on the record, and Isaac Smith added fiddle parts, as well). Limited to just one hundred copies, McNally advises that the exclusive release will be available at their St. Patrick’s Day shows. “We’ll be doing a lot of revved-up versions of traditional Irish pub songs, some Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly covers, as well as a few originals I’ve written,” McNally says. “We’re stoked to bring some rowdy Irish music to a town with so much Irish heritage. With the introduction of In for a Penny into the Savannah music scene, Irish music isn’t just for St Paddy’s Day anymore!” Tuesday, March 17, United Distributors Stage, 4 p.m.

St. Paddy Bands |

25 continued from previous page

Savannah’s Original Authentic British Pub!

Six Pence Pub In The Heart of the Historic District

The Hypnotics

This three-piece is a staple on Congress Street and arguably one of the best cover bands in town. With a deep love for British Invasion, 1960s garage hits, soul, doowop, and classic rock ‘n’ roll (we’re talking Chuck Berry, not AC/DC), you can bet on hearing the grooviest hits of The Zombies, The Beach Boys, Roy Orbison, and more. You’ll travel back in time—and dance all night—with this sharply-dressed bunch. While covers are their mainstay, they’ve been known to break out a killer original, too.

Saturday, March 14, United Distributors Stage, 6 p.m. Tuesday, March 17, Red Hare Stage, 8 p.m.

Join Us for

ST. PATRICK’S Week Festivities

Open 7 Days A Week 11:30 a.m. – Midnight Danielle Hicks and the Eight Ohm Resistance

With a little funk and a lotta soul, Danielle Hicks is a force to be reckoned with. The charismatic leader effortlessly nods to Bonnie Raitt, Stevie Nicks, Etta James, and more, and her sultry, powerful vocals are a downtown hit. It’s Hicks’ third time playing St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah; members of her band have been crucial players in our town’s revelry for ages. “I like the way Savannah, especially downtown, transforms into one undivided celebration,” Hicks says. Expect to hear a mix of the blues, rock, reggae and R&B from her and the Eight Ohm Resistance, as well as original material. CS

Saturday, March 14, The Rail, 3 p.m. Monday, March 16th, St. Julian Stage, 10 p.m.

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Irish band FullSet reframe traditional music.

Too-ra-loo-ra Tara Feis St. Patrick’s Day Parade Shuttles for Tuesday, March 17 Locations:

Westside – Pickup at Westside Shopping Center, Hwy 80 in Garden City. Drop off at the Transit Center. Eastside – Pickup at Island Towne Centre, Hwy 80 on Whitemarsh Island. Drop off at Oglethorpe & Houston. Southside – Pickup at Savannah Mall, Abercorn & Apache. Drop off at the Transit Center.

Times:

7:00 AM-11:00 AM Going To Downtown 12:00 PM-4:00 PM Leaving From Downtown *Additional return options available

Passes:

5.00 – St. Patrick’s Day Shuttle passes give you roundtrip service to and from the parade at an unbeatable price. Purchase at the shuttle locations using Cash Only, denominations of $20 or less. Exact change is appreciated.

Late-Night Service on Saturday, March 14 FREE bus service on limted routes from 10:00 PM-4:00 AM.

Savannah’s favorite magician Magic Mark Dunston, and Irish step dancing. Let the kids get creative at the craft station, or get IN Savannah’s March sea of green, Tara Feis all that weekend energy out on the festival’s stands out starkly as the family-oriented multiple rides. can’t-miss celebration, saluting authentic At the heart of it all is renown tradiIrish heritage without the alcohol. tional Irish band FullSet, recently named How’s Irish heritage present itself at Best Traditional Band of 2014 by the Irish Emmett Park’s annual festivities (proMusic Association. Comprising six young nounced “Tara Fesh”)? Well, you can tap and extremely talented musicians, it’s a great your toes to it, take a bite or a sip of it, chance for the kids to see unusual instruand maybe even try a jig of your own to ments like the button accordion, flute, Irish it: prepare for entertainment, traditional fiddle, and ulleann up close and personal. concessions, and fun all day long, hosted by Together, the sounds come together to Savannah’s own Harry O’Donoghue. offer something that sound both wonderTo kick off the festivities, the St. Patrick’s fully traditional and freshly new. Day Parade Grand Marshal and local digniFiddle player Michael Harrison advises taries will lead a procession of flags and bag- that the audience shouldn’t plan to sit still pipes in a traditional Irish ceremony. for long. On the main stage, catch the quick“Our main aim at all of our gigs is to have stepping local talent of the Irish Dancers the whole audience up dancing by the end of Savannah, Glor na Daire Academy of of the night and leaving with a smile on Irish Dance, and, from Ireland, the Dublin their face,” says Harrison. “We encourage Firefighters Pipe and Drum Band (they also everyone to wear green to the Tara Feis Irish perform in the opening procession). Festival and to come along prepared to have There will be an entire stage dedicated a brilliant time.” CS to entertaining the wee ones, including a puppet show by Ridgeland, South CaroTara Feis lina’s Conrad Hartz (purportedly one of Saturday, March 14 the world’s greatest makers of hand pupEmmet Park pets, marionettes, and ventriloquial figures), 11 a.m.-5 p.m. by anna chandler

anna@connectsavannah.com

Come celebrate St. Patrick’s day

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#savstpat2015 | irish road bowling

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Stop, drop and roll: Irish road bowling has become an after-St. Patrick’s Day tradition for Savannah’s Ancient Order of Hibernians. Photo by Joe Delorme

What the craic is Irish road bowling?

Ancient Order of Hibernians finishes off the green season in style and show the thrower the best place to aim. Stopping the ball with one’s feet is highly dangerous and strictly forbidden. IF YOU happen to be standing on The sport is still played on the country Hutchinson Island the Saturday morning lanes of Cork and Armagh counties in Ireafter St. Patrick’s Day, keep an eye out for land, where players amble from town to cannon balls. town trying to best each other’s score. A And if you hear the traditional Irish battle 1.5-mile section of the 2.2-mile Hutchinson cry “faugh a ballagh!” pierce the air, you’d bet- Island Racetrack works just fine for Savanter run for cover. nah’s Irish, who find the smooth pavement a Don’t worry, you’re not under attack by better option than dirt roads. a mulleted Mel Gibson or a band of mili“There are a bunch of ‘S’ curves to maneutant leprechauns. This is the day when the ver and a nice straightaway,” endorses event Savannah Ancient Order of Hibernians organizer Chris Hagan, disclosing that the takes over the track for its spring Irish Road score to beat on this course is 19. Bowling Tournament, marking the definitive A Savannah native, Hagan has been a end of another St. Patrick’s Day season. member of the Ancient Order of HiberHarking back to 17th century Ireland, the nians since 1995 and has served as a past rules of road bowling are straightforward: president of the men’s-only organization. Competitors toss a 28-ounce cannonball— The tournament was conceived during his known as a “bullet”—along a set course, and term as he and his brethren worked to plan whichever team finishes in the least amount something family-friendly after the whiskeyof throws wins. soaked revelry of St. Patrick’s Day. That’s right, it takes a three-person team: “We were trying to come up with an One person to launch the ball, another to activity that kids and adults could do help consult the course in a role similar to together,” says Hagan. a golf caddy, and one more to stand ahead “I saw road bowling on TV and looked by Jessica leigh Lebos jll@connectsavannah.com

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bowling |

continued from previous page

LIVE MUSIC THURS. MAR 12TH

9pm-1am: TBA

FRI. MAR 13TH

9pm-1 am: Wood and Steel SAT. MAR 14TH

12pm-3:30pm: Randy Cuba 6pm-9pm: Liquid Ginger 10pm-2am: Jon Lee and The Apparitions SUN. MAR 15TH

3pm-10pm: Big Big Extra Face MON. MAR 16TH

10pm-2am: Souls Harbor

NOW

OPEN! Over 15 Craft Beer Taps 25 TVs Nightly Live Entertainment Irish Inspired Pub Food

TUES. MAR 17TH

1pm-4pm: TBA 5pm-9pm: TBA 10pm-2am: Danielle Hicks Band

The smooth pavement of the Hutchinson Island Racetrack serves the road bowlers well. Photo by Joe Delorme

125 MLK Jr Blvd • 233-1111 (next to Carlito’s Mexican Restaurant)

into it, and it turned out to be the perfect thing.” That was in 2007, and the order has held road bowling tournaments twice a year hence: Once in the spring and again in the fall—on whichever Saturday is before the Georgia-Florida football game. “That’s always a free weekend on the football schedule, so we know we can get people to come out,” laughs Hagan. Participation has tripled since the tournament’s inception, and Hagan says 46 teams have already pre-registered at O’Connell’s Pub on Congress Street. Registration is open to the public and costs $15 per person before March 18 and $20 the day of the event. Proceeds benefit the bank of charities supported by the order all year long, including various local and international Irish organizations as well as the Fresh Air Home on Tybee Island, the Frank C. Allen Boys & Girls Club, Savannah Mission and the Inner City Night Shelter. “Every cent raised by this event goes to someone who needs it,” says current AOH president Brian Crowley. AOH sets aside its membership rules for this event, which means you don’t have to be Irish or a man to sign up for road bowling— you don’t even need a team.

“Just come on out and we’ll match you up with others,” promises Hagan. While festive greenery is always welcome, there’s no official road bowling attire other than closed-toed shoes and a hat to protect the fair-skinned on the open road. “It also helps to have on long pants because sometimes you have to search for the ball in the ditches,” adds Hagan. The spring road bowling competition has become the unofficial “last hurrah” in the year-long responsibilities of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade Grand Marshal. This year’s Grand Marshal, Hugh E. Coleman, is expected to uphold road bowling’s most important tradition: The Irish battle cry. “You have to yell before you roll,” admonishes Hagan. “You just have to.” cs

TRIVIA THURSDAYS @7PM

LIVE MUSIC W/ AMY TAYLOR ON FRI. MAR. 13TH! 6:30PM

Ancient Order of Hibernians’ Irish Road Bowling Tournament When: 10 a.m., Sat. March 21 Where: Hutchinson Island Racetrack Cost: $15 advance; $20 day of Info: aohsavannah.com

#savstpat2015 | irish music at Kb’s

Carroll Brown, Harry O’Donogue and Frank Emerison onstage

Left to Right: Carroll ‘Ol’ Kershaw’ Brown, Frank ‘Curley’ Emerson, Harry ‘Handsome Harry’ O’Donoghue and Vic ‘Don Victor’ (Bic-tórr), ‘El Jefe’, ‘Il Professore’, ‘Da Big Guy’ Power. If you believe it!

Kevin Barry’s: ‘Open-air asylum’ with traditional music the top two finalists were from Georgia, which poses an important question: Why didn’t any Irish pubs place? “Irish pubs in Ireland are trying to TAKE IT from a true Irishman: Kevin become more Americanized,” Reese notes. Barry’s is the place to be on St. Paddy’s “But Irish pubs in America embrace their Day. Dublin native Frank Emerson has been a part of the River Street pub since its Irish heritage. We get a lot of Irish tourists here and our pub gives them a sense of beginning. home.” “It’s been open since Halloween of ’80, It seems the roles have flipped, as for and I played my first gig there August of years, St. Patrick’s Day in Ireland was just ’81,” Emerson recalls. Now living in Virginia, he returns to play another day to attend Mass and pay respects in Savannah whenever he can. Kevin Barry’s to the patron saint. “But then they got thinking, ‘Gee whiz, now has the distinct honor of being the this could be a big tourist trap,’” Emerson second best Irish pub in the world, at least says. according to a contest by Irish Pub Global. Now the Irish version of St. Paddy’s Day Over a thousand pubs participated in the challenge, sponsored by the Irish Times is similar to the Guinness and green extravaganza put on in Savannah. In a city where and other international corporations. Tara Reese, public relations coordinator for Kevin your plans for March 17 are never in question, it’s no wonder the only fully-Irish pub Barry’s, traveled to Dublin for the finals to in town has snagged international honors. accept their award. This year, St. Patrick’s Day will be a “Irish Pub Global is a worldwide organization to promote Irish culture and ‘craic,’ four-day celebration, starting with the Tara Feis Irish Celebration at Emmet Park on which is Irish for good times,” she explains. Saturday and ending with the parade and Of the five Irish pubs that were shortsubsequent party on Tuesday. With the listed, none of them were from Ireland and By Rachael Flora

happenings@connectsavannah.com

BEST OF SAVANNAH

#2015BOS

extended hours, Irish spirits are higher than ever, so it seems appropriate to take in some traditional Irish music from Kevin Barry’s impressive roster. Emerson will play solo sets at Kevin Barry’s on March 13 and 18. Fellow Irish musicians Harry O’Donoghue and Carroll Brown will join him at Tara Feis on March 14. The trio will continue to play at Kevin Barry’s through March 17, and Seldom Sober, comprised of Colleen Settle and Michael Corbett, will join them for St. Paddy’s. The weekend’s musicians will play ballads, which are typically considered more modern than the traditional Irish songs sung in Gaelic, Emerson explains. Ballads can also include more traditional Irish instruments, including uillian pipes, bodhran drums, and tin whistles. Guitars and banjos are also used in ballads, giving them a sound similar to American folk music. “There’s a real tie between roots music and Celtic music,” Emerson explains. “You’ll find a lot of American tunes are exactly the same tune as a Celtic or Irish tune.” The Irish music is sure to get everyone

ready to party. “Everything in America is huge,” Emerson says. “In America, everyone’s Irish for the day.” Reese agrees, saying, “Everyone wants to be Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, and at Kevin Barry’s we give them 365 days of that opportunity.” If you’ve never ventured into the fray for St. Patrick’s Day, it’d be a good idea to stick around Kevin Barry’s, not only for the true Irish experience but for the safety. “Kevin Barry’s will be the safest place to be on St. Paddy’s Day,” Emerson says. “It’s chockablock with military and police, and the Irish Army Air Corps always come down. It’s like their home away from home. “It’s an open-air asylum,” Emerson jokes. “It’ll be an eye-opener for sure, and hopefully a good one.” cs Frank Emerson will play solo at Kevin Barry’s March 13 and 18. Harry O’Donoghue and Carroll Brown join him at Tara Feis on March 14. The trio will continue to play at Kevin Barry’s through March 17, and Seldom Sober, comprising Colleen Settle and Michael Corbett, join them on Tuesday, St. Patrick’s Day.

2015 BEST OF SAVANNAH VOTE ONLINE MARCH 11-APRIL 21

culture | brew/drink/run

No Green Beer here: Soak up these specialty seasonal local brews being followed up with the complex and lip-smacking Old Guard, an ale crafted in the SPRINGTIME in Savannah is ushered in French farmhouse with a few constants: The tradition. hazy thrill of the Saint Old Guard is Patrick’s Day parade, based on a “R&D” the explosion of azalea batch tested in blooms throughout our the brewery’s squares and cemetertap room, which ies, and the sudden used honey from switch from coats Service’s Creative and corduroys venues, bars and restaurants around Savan- Marketing Director Meredith Sutton’s apito tank tops and nah during the festival, which takes place ary. This wider-release production version short shorts. March 19-April 4. A distinctive blue fiddle- instead includes Savannah Bee Company’s With the continhead tap handle will make it easy to spot. Yaupon honey, a whopping 180 pounds worth in total. ued growth of our local craft beer scene, it’s Southbound will also be canning the beer But don’t feel bad for Meredith’s bees. time to add another item to that esteemed for distribution to package stores. The fermentation yeast used in Old Guard list of springtime signifiers: new beer was collected by SouthYeast Labs from that releases! Inshore Slam India Pale Ale very same apiary. Pulled from honey comb All four of Savannah’s breweries have Coastal Empire Beer Co. and pollen, brewer Jeff Hyatt described the new products for you to enjoy throughout yeast’s characteristics as “Incredible. I’ve March. These highlights are must-try beverHop heads will have another locallynever tasted anything like it. Bubblegum, a ages that will help you celebrate the season. brewed IPA choice this month as Coastal clove-like spice are just two things that jump Empire debuts Inshore Slam. The label art out at you. There’s a little woodsy funkiness Rollin’ & Tumblin’ boasts it as an “aggressively hopped” sipper, India Pale Ale going on and floral notes, too.” clocking in at 75 IBUs (International BitSouthbound Brewing Co. Old Guard will be released on draft and terness Units). Co-founder Chris Haborak limited to only one thousand 22-oz. largeSouthbound’s Hoplin’ IPA is a standout says that despite the overall quantity of in their main line, and March welcomes a hops, the beer is still balanced and drinkable. format bottles. second India Pale Ale to join in the fun. The “The aromas and flavors of the hops are brand new Rollin’ & Tumblin’ is a collaboa balance of melon, citrus, spicy and a Foras Barrel-Aged Saison ration beer with the Savannah Music little funky hop notes to boot,” explains Moon River Brewing Co. Festival. The involvement of the Chris. “The balance provides a festival is more intense hop Frequent patrons of Moon River will than a simple flavor without know that their Foras saison was actually branding tie-in. a overpowering released last year; but be assured this year’s SMF Execuhop bite. It also Foras is the same in name only. tive & Artistic has a nice malt “We call it the same thing,” brewer Aaron Director Rob backbone that Deist confirmed. “We have a small barrel Gibson and stands up to the aging program… and once a year we empty Marketing hops.” those barrels out and refill them with a new and ManageThe initial beer.” draft rollout of ment Director A blend of five barrel-aged saisons along Inshore Slam Ryan McMaken with one barrel containing Super Foxy will be to local restaurants, bars worked closely with brewer double IPA, Foras manages to be tart and and growler stores at the end of the Smith Mathews and his team from edgy without losing the easy drinkability of month. concept to final product. the original ales. The additional step of dry“As an amateur homebrewer, this was a hopping the blend unifies the batch into a highlight of 2014 for me,” said Ryan. He Old Guard unique entity. Biere de Garde described the beer as having “a very flavorWild brettanomyces yeast adds a distincful straw-colored malt bill, modest bittering, Service Brewing Co. tive twang to Foras which is a welcome addiand a slightly piney, tropical fruit hop aroma Service has been on a winning streak tion to Moon River’s beer garden taps and is using azacca hops.” with its smaller-batch seasonal releases. available right now. cs The beer will be available on draft at Winter’s terrific Lincoln’s Gift oyster stout is by lee heidel

lee@brewdrinkrun.com /@brewdrinkrun brewdrinkrun.com

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music | #stopoverhangover

A look back at Savannah Stopover

Born Cages @Ampersand L. Johnson Photo by Geoff

savannah stopover marked its fifth anniversary in high style this past weekend, with so many shows to remember that we, uh, can hardly remember them all. From the finger-lickin’ good rockabilly of Southern Culture on the Skids to kick things off Thursday night... to the scorching one-two punch of Cusses and Diarrhea Planet to close things out at The Jinx Saturday night... StopoverV was a testament not only to the skill of its organizers and the dedication of its staff and volunteers, but to the healthy state of live rock ‘n’ roll in this great country! Enjoy these pics and see y’all out and about next year! cs

French Horn Rebellion @Hangfire Photo by Geoff L. Johnson

The Wave Slaves @The Charles Morris Center

Photo by Geoff L. Johnson

Tall Tall Trees y @Trinit hnson Church ff L. Jo by Geo Photo

Alanna Royale x @TheL.JJoin hnson eoff

Photo by G

#stopoverV |

33 continued from previous page

ST. HAPPY PAT 'S!

BEST OF SAVANNAH • 2014 •

Southern Culture on the Skids @ The Charles Morris Center Photo by Geoff

L. Johnson

BOOZERY & MUSIC CAVERN

HAPPY HOUR MON-FRI 4-8PM

BUY 1 DRINK GET THE 2ND FOR $1

FREE VIDEO GAMES Visit our sister company

GHOST TOWN TATTOO @ 35 MONTGOMERY ST.

THURS

MAR

DANCE PARUATREY ONE W/

$2 WELLS FOR EVERYONE!

WHISKEY DICK FRI & THE HARD ONS MAR THE TRAIN WRECKS

Culture Southern on the Skids @ The Charles MorrisL.CJoenter hnson

[happy hour w/]

Diarrhea Planet @ The Jinx

Photo by Geoff

PitchBlak Brass Band @The Jinx

13 BOTTLES & CANS SAT

MAR

DAMON & THE SHITKICKERS 5-7 & 11:30-CLOSE

DARNEL BOYS 3-4:30 & 9:30-11 BATH SALT ZOMBIES 1-2:30 & 7:30-9 DOORS OPEN @NOON!

SUN

NIGHTINGALE NEWS 3-5

CITYHOTEL 8-10

DAMON & THE MAR SHITKICKERS 5:30-7:30

Adia Victoria @ Wild W ings

Photo by Geof

f L.

BOTTLES & CANS 10:30-TIL

MON

MAR Cafe

DOORS OPEN @2PM!

WAITS & CO 3-4:30 CITY HOTEL 5-7 NIGHTINGALE NEWS

7:30-9 THE ACCOMPLICES 9:30-11:30

BOTTLES & CANS 12-TIL DOORS OPEN @2PM!

Clandestiny Cusses @ The Jinx

TUES MAR

CRAZY MAN CRAZY 4-6 & 11:30-TIL

AMOUNG THE WILD 2:30-3:30 & 9:30-11

BOTTLES & CANS 6:30-9 DOORS OPEN @1PM!

d n i F e Com Pot of Your ld! Go

Music | The Band page

By Anna Chandler | anna@connectsavannah.com

Check Out Our Remodel & New Deck !

Spirits and the Melchizedek Children

Spirits and the Melchizedek Children, Blackrune, A Drug Called Tradition @Hang Fire

y p p a H w e N Da il y H o ur M

It’s an evening of transcendent and progressive rock ‘n’ roll music down at Hang Fire. Come prepared to be bathed in glorious waves of feedback, gossamer guitar meanderings, and bellowing low ends. Spirits and the Melchizedek Children are a staple of the regional shoegaze/psych scene, dubbed by the A.V. Club “a Southern Sigur Rós.” They’re taking advantage of this time on the road to try out new material; a fresh record is in the works. Spirits and the Melchizedek Children are joined by enigmatic Atlantans A Drug Called Tradition and our own psych masters, Blackrune.

-7P 12PM

Happy Hour Specials:

$2 Fireball $4 Jack Honey $4 12oz. Margaritas $4 Jager $2 Wells 50 $1. 16oz. Dom. Draft $2 Imp. & Special IPA $2 12oz. Dom. Bottles $8 5-Beer Dom. Buckets $10 5-Beer Imp. Buckets 50 $2. 12oz. Imp. Bottles $1 8oz. BL , ML , CL Cans

N EW S! H OU R Sat. Mon.Noon-3am

POOL • DARTS • MUSIC & MORE

5630 OGEECHEE ROAD

Wednesday, March 18, 10 p.m.

Jim Avett

Sarah Lee Guthrie and Johnny Irion @Trinity UMC A taste for the Lowcountry runs in the Guthrie family: following father Arlo’s January performance, Sarah Lee Guthrie and Johnny Irion are bringing their own sounds to Trinity’s Sanctuary Concert series. Their band is a collaboration of great American lineage: Guthrie’s grandfather, Woody, is a folk music icon, and Johnny Irion is writer John Steinbeck’s grand-nephew—plus, they’re married! The two have been performing their take on folk-rock for a good decade, but their latest, 2013’s Wassaic Way, expertly blended loud guitars, a certain kind of lushness found in their previous releases, and pop overtones. They have producers Jeff Tweedy (Wilco) and Patrick Sansone at the Loft in Chicago to thank for that. The ties run deep with the Guthries and Wilco—Wilco recorded the unfinished songs of Woody Guthrie with Billy Bragg in 1998, and the band added Guthrie and Irion to their 2011 Solid Sound Festival lineup. Guthrie has said that, despite her musical lineage, her inner songwriter didn’t truly come out until she met Irion. Their onstage chemistry will be a treat to see in the sanctuary.

Speaking of musical lineage, Jim Avett, father of Scott and Seth of The Avett Brothers, joins City Hotel at The Bean on Friday. A lifetime hobbyist, Avett spent most of his years focusing on raising his children and his welding career. After retiring, he returned to the guitar and began pursuing music, hitting the road to share his original work and recording three albums. Currently, he’s working on a fourth record, featuring sons Seth, Scott, and daughter Bonnie. Avett has a gentle, summery ease to his songs, a kind of comforting strum to the guitar and an honest, genial voice. Maybe it’s the context, but much of his writing sweetly comes across as a frontporch sitting father sharing advice with his children: “The game is on, you gotta play the hand you got.”

Friday, March 13, 7:30 p.m, $15

Friday, March 13, 8 p.m., $10

Jim Avett, City Hotel @The Sentient Bean

band page |

35 continued from previous page

AUTHENTIC THAI & VIETNAMESE BUFFET

ALL ST. PAT’S WEEKEND (SATURDAY MARCH 14TH-TUESDAY MARCH 17TH)

Megan Jean & the KFB @Barrelhouse South If you need a break from all the green, seek refuge in Barrelhouse South—The Devil Herself will be raining down upon the legions, shakin’ the beads off unsuspecting tourists with her voice and sending tremors through downtown with each strike of the washboard. If you’ve never seen Megan Jean and husband Byrne Klay, make sure you do so. The former Charlestonians are pretty frequent Savannah visitors—they’ve recently forgone root-planting entirely, instead converting a rad Mercedes van into an adorable bungalow on wheels. The family band has also set to work on a new record, Tarantistas, coming out fall 2015. “A tarantist, according to 16th century Italy, is a person inflicted with a dance mania believed to be caused by a spider bite,” Jean explains. “They’ve just got to dance the pain away. We’ve been playing the material at all our live shows for the past year and we’re so excited to get them recorded. We really believe this is some of our best material.” The road warriors sound better every time they come through, mixing gypsy influences with Americana, punk, metal, gospel and old-time. “We’re not the same band we were a year ago, and we won’t be the same band we are right now next week,” says Jean.

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK! LUNCH • DINNER • LATE NIGHT • DINE IN • TAKE-OUT • DELIVERY

409 W. CONGRESS ST. • 912-436-6660

Sunday, March 15, 10 p.m., free

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Stephen Brown @UU

18 E. River Street • 234-6003

Local pianist Stephen Brown will showcase his talents at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Savannah as a part of the Sounds & Spirits Series. The recipient of such awards as the Atlanta Steinway Society Prodigy Award, the Yoel Levi Award, the Clara and Bertha Baur Award and the Romeo Gorno Award, Brown will perform an array of work across genres and time periods on the sanctuary’s treasured Steinway Grand piano. Saturday, March 14, 4 p.m., $15 advance, $20 at the door

HAPMP-TYh HOUR 3-7 24 Beers on Tap $

8 Dom. Pitchers 50¢ Wings $4 Wells $3 PBR’s

Big Door Burgers & Dogs

LIVMUESIC WED. 3/11, 8-12

Jason Bible THURS. 3/12, 8-12

Randy Cuba

18 e. river st. 234-6003

or l f Out l Ca ke 35 Ta

music | soundboard Club owners and performers:

Soundboard is a free service - to be included, please send your live music information weekly to anna@connectsavannah.com. Questions? Call (912) 721-4356.

Wednesday / 11 Barrelhouse South VuDu Shakedown Bay Street Blues Hitman Bayou Cafe Thomas Claxton Billy’s Place at McDonough’s Mike Sweat, piano/vocal coffee deli Acoustic Jam Driftaway Cafe Chuck Courtenay Jazz’d Tapas Bar Eddie Wilson Rachael’s 1190 Jeremy Riddle The Wormhole Open Mic The Warehouse Jason Bible Wild Wing Cafe Jeff Beasley

Trivia & Games

The Jinx Rock n Roll Bingo Tailgate Sports Bar and Grill Trivia World of Beer Trivia

Karaoke

Ampersand Karaoke Hercules Bar & Grill Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke Tondee’s Tavern Karaoke Wet Willie’s Karaoke

Club One Karaoke Music Vault Caked Up

Thursday / 12 Ampersand Jazz Night B Tillman Danielle Hicks Barrelhouse South Dirk Quinn Band Bay Street Blues Hitman Bayou Cafe Eric Culberson Band Billy’s Place at McDonough’s Mike Sweat, piano/vocal Feather & Freight Open Mic & Pint Night Graveface Records & Curiosities Secret Stuff, Culture Vulture, KYLE Hang Fire Tijuana Hercules, Waits & Co., Pierce Edens Jazz’d Tapas Bar Trae Gurley Savannah Coffee Roasters Nico DeLuca-Verley The Warehouse Randy Cuba

Trivia & Games

The Britannia British Pub Trivia Pour Larry’s Explicit Trivia Sunny’s Lounge Trivia Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint Trivia

Karaoke

Applebee’s Karaoke Doodles Karaoke Thursday & Saturdays Flashback Karaoke

Pierce Edens is part of the triple bill Thursday night at Hang Fire. McDonough’s Karaoke Mediterranean Tavern Karaoke Rusty Rudders Tap House Karaoke

Comedy

Vive Tapas Lounge Open Mic

Congress Street Social Club DJ Blackout The Jinx Live DJ

Bar & Club Events

Club One Drag Show Mediterranean Tavern Lip Sync Battle

Other

Foxy Loxy Cafe Vinyl Night Tailgate Sports Bar and Grill Open Mic

Friday / 13 Ampersand Escaping Fate Barrelhouse South Voodoo Soup Bernie’s (Tybee) A Nickel Bag of Funk Billy’s Place at McDonough’s Mike Sweat & Nancy Witt, piano/vocal Congress Street Social Club Royal Noise Dept. 7 East Velvet Caravan Driftaway Cafe Jeff Beasley Feather & Freight In For A Penny Fia Rua Irish Pub Gary Byrd Flashback @Sundown Huc-A-Poo’s Josh Daniel & March Schimick Project Jazz’d Tapas Bar Voodoo Soup The Jinx The Train Wrecks, Bottles & Cans Jukebox Bar & Grill The

Chris Yates Band Mansion on Forsyth Park Tradewinds Paddy O’Shea’s Irish Pub Wood and Steel Rancho Alegre Cuban Restaurant Jody Espina Trio Ruth’s Chris Steak House David Duckworth & Kim Polote The Sentient Bean Jim Avett, City Hotel Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint Amy Taylor The Warehouse Southern Maple Band Wild Wing Cafe Souls Harbor, Quincy Mumford, The Austin Mowery Band, DJ Natty Heavy, U-Phonik Wingmen Motorcycle Clubhouse Crazy Man Crazy World of Beer Barrett Jockers World of Beer (Pooler) JB Crockett

Trivia & Games

Coach’s Corner Movies & Music Trivia

Karaoke

Bay Street Blues Karaoke The Islander Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke Sunny’s Lounge Karaoke Tailgate Sports Bar and Grill Karaoke/DJ

Comedy

The Historic Savannah Theatre Spine Tingling Tales

Club 309 West DJ Zay Hang Fire DJ Sole Control Pour Larry’s DJ Sky

Bar & Club Events Club One Drag Show

Saturday / 14 17 Hundred 90 Restaurant Gail Thurmond bar.food Tom Cooler Barrelhouse South Spiritual Rez, Marvelous Funkshun, Baked Alaska, Stephanie Williams Basil’s Pizza and Deli The Solis Duo Bayou Cafe Greg Williams, Don Coyer, Thomas Claxton and the Myth Bernie’s (Tybee) Pocket Change Billy’s Place at McDonough’s Mike Sweat & Nancy Witt, piano/vocal Casimir’s Lounge Jackson Evans Trio Congress Street Social Club General Patton and the Heads of State, Missionary Blues Dept. 7 East Velvet Caravan Driftaway Cafe Junkyard Angel Graveface Records & Curiosities Jeff Two-Names and the Born Agains, The Hunky Newcomers Huc-A-Poo’s American Mannequins Jazz’d Tapas Bar Bottles & Cans The Jinx Damon & the Shitkickers, Darnel Boys, Bath Salt Zombies Jukebox Bar & Grill Stereotype Molly MacPherson’s Scottish Pub (Pooler) Escaping Fate North Beach Grill Smokey’s Farmland Band The Olde Pink House David Duckworth & Kim Polote Paddy O’Shea’s Irish Pub Randy Cuba, Liquid Ginger, Jon Lee and the Apparitions Pour Larry’s DJ Sky, Kontraband Rancho Alegre Cuban Restaurant Jody Espina Trio Sandfly Sports Bar & Grill BBEF The Wormhole GASH, Sparklefight The Warehouse Eric Culberson Wild Wing Cafe The Kenny George Band, Whiskey Run, Lyn Avenue, U-Phonik, DJ Natty Heavy, The Austin Mowery Band World of Beer Driverside Band World of Beer (Pooler) Barrett Jockers Duo

Karaoke

Applebee’s Karaoke Bay Street Blues Karaoke Doodles Karaoke Thursday & Saturdays

The Islander Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke Sunny’s Lounge Karaoke

Bar & Club Events Club One Drag Show

Sunday / 15 17 Hundred 90 Restaurant Gail Thurmond Aqua Star Restaurant (Westin Harbor Hotel) Sunday Jazz Brunch Bayou Cafe David Harbuck, Don Coyer, Hitman Bernie’s (Tybee) Chillakaya Blowin’ Smoke Crazy Man Crazy Congress Street Social Club Bottles & Cans (in the afternoon), Voodoo Soup Graveface Records & Curiosities Savannah Rap Round Robin Huc-A-Poo’s Letters to Abigail Jazz’d Tapas Bar Sarah Tollerson The Jinx Nightingale News, Damon and the Shitkickers, City Hotel, Bottles & Cans North Beach Grill Royal Noise The Olde Pink House Eddie Wilson Paddy O’Shea’s Irish Pub Big Big Extra Face Tybee Island Social Club Sunday Bluegrass Brunch The Warehouse Rachael Shaner Wild Wing Cafe Brady Smith Band, Thomas Claxton and the Myth, Glamnation, Liquid Ginger, DJ Natty Heavy, Steppin Stones Zunzi’s II Open Mic

Trivia & Games

Lulu’s Chocolate Bar Sunday Afternoon Trivia Tailgate Sports Bar and Grill Trivia

Karaoke

Club One Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke Tailgate Sports Bar and Grill Karaoke/DJ Tondee’s Tavern Karaoke

Pour Larry’s DJ Sky

Bar & Club Events

Ampersand Blues & Brews

Monday / 16 Abe’s on Lincoln Open Mike Barrelhouse South Meagan Jean and the KFB, In-

nocent Gun Trio Bay Street Blues Open Mic Bayou Cafe David Harbuck, Don Coyer, Hitman Congress Street Social Club Domino Effect Feather & Freight The Brummy Brothers Hang Fire COEDS, Couches, Culture Vulture, Bent Out of Shape The Jinx Waits & Co., City Hotel, Nightingale News, The Accomplices, Bottles & Cans Paddy O’Shea’s Irish Pub Souls Harbor Pour Larry’s Crane, Heritage, DJ Sky Rail Pub In For A Penny Wild Wing Cafe Chuck and Uncle Buck, Midnight City, Steppin Stones, etc

Trivia & Games

Britannia British Pub Bingo McDonough’s Trivia Mediterranean Tavern Pubstar Trivia

Karaoke

Boomy’s Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke Wet Willie’s Karaoke

Bar & Club Events Muse Odd Lot Improv

Tuesday / 17 Barrelhouse South Royal Noise, Yamadeo, 2tone Fish, Randy Cuba Bay Street Blues Jubal Kane (blues) Bayou Cafe Greg Williams, Don Coyer, Eric Culberson Congress Street Social Club Versatile, Those Cats, DJ Basik Lee The Jinx Crazy Man Crazy, Among the Wild, Bottles & Cans Molly MacPherson’s Scottish Pub Open Mic Paddy O’Shea’s Irish Pub Danielle Hicks Band Pour Larry’s DJ Sky, Kontraband, Crane Rousakis Plaza In For A Penny Savannah Coffee Roasters Open Mouth & Music Warehouse Brett Barnard Wild Wing Cafe Chuck Courtenay World of Beer Cheezy and the Crackers

Trivia & Games

Coach’s Corner Trivia CoCo’s Sunset Grille Trivia Congress St Social Trivia Mediterranean Tavern Battle of The Sexes Game Mellow Mushroom Trivia

S ’ K C I PATR

ST.

PARTY E T A M I ULT The

D WEEKEN

FRI. MARCH 13 & SAT MARCH 14

FRIDAY

Live Music by The Chris Yates Band!

DRUM CLINIC WITH

GREGG BISSONETTE DRUMMER FOR RINGO STARR’S (OF THE BEATLES ) ALL STAR BAND

THURSDAY, MARCH 26 AT 7PM Grammy award winner Gregg Bissonette started playing drums at the age of five, being taught by his father! He went to study music education at University of North Texas, where he was featured in the famed “One O’clock Lab Band!” From there Gregg went on to record and tour with Ringo Starr, David Lee Roth, ELO, Don Henley, Santana, Maynard Ferguson, Gino Vannelli, Joe Satriani, TOTO, The Doobie Brothers, Gary Hoey, Steve Vai, Ozzy Osbourne, Brian Setzer, James Taylor, Andy Summers, Linda Ronstadt, Spinal Tap, and many more!!! As well as playing on Many popular TV shows, and TV and movie soundtracks! Come see why Gregg is a World renowned Musician as well as a top class clinician!

Live Music by Stereotype!

Introducing

Pooler’s Coolest Spot!!! Wed. 3/11 @ 8pm: 5 Points Productions KARAOKE!

FREE GIVEAWAYS!* *MUST BE PRESENT TO WIN

7650 ABERCORN ST SAVANNAH 912.354.1500 • portmansmusic.com

Thurs. 3/12 @ 7pm: Spitfire Poetry Group COMING SOON: Matt Parker & The Deacons 3/27 Rock-A-Licious 4/17 AC O N S

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BELOVED TUNES FROM STAGE & SILVER SCREEN

SOLOIST: Mikki Sodergren (soprano) 2014 American Traditions Competition Gold Medal Winner

SATURDAY, APRIL 18, 2015 I 7:30PM LUCAS THEATRE FOR THE ARTS I $16-70 LICIOUS

Featuring the best and most recognizable tunes from Broadway and Hollywood, this high-energy concert includes favorites such as Cinema Paradiso, Wicked, My Fair Lady, Chariots of Fire, and Rocky.

FOR TICKETS

912.525.5050

savannahphilharmonic.org

125 Foxﬁeld Way 988-1052 (Across from the IMAX Theatre)

PETER SHANNON, CONDUCTOR Co-Presenting Sponsors

Supporting Sponsor

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LIVE THE MUSIC Soloist Sponsor

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culture | Theatre

March Theatre Madness!

The Collective Face presents Wit @Muse Arts Warehouse

The one-act play Wit (also styled as W;t), winner of the 1999 Pulitzer Prize, is an incredibly human production exploring a poetry scholar’s journey with ovarian cancer. It expertly manages to be simultaneously heartbreaking and wryly funny, allowing lead Vivian (the inimitable Dandy Barrett) to reflect on her life using her deep love of the English language. Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. March 3-21, Sundays at 3 p.m. March 15-22, $22 general admission, $15 for seniors/students/ active military

by anna chandler anna@connectsavannah.com

Three opportunities to catch our local theatre talents this weekend! Savannah’s stages have so much to offer, and this is the time to see it. From the cerebral to the visually stunning, The Collective Face, Skidaway Island United Methodist Church, and Asbury Memorial Theatre have something for every seasoned and budding performing arts enthusiast.

Smoke on the Mountain @Skidaway Island UMC

A bluegrass musical comedy, Smoke on the Mountain takes place in 1938 at a North Carolina country church’s Saturday Night Gospel Sing. To help ease his church into the “modern world,” the eager and young Pastor Oglethorpe has recruited traveling bluegrass group The Sanders Family to entertain his congregation. The Sanders Family, recently reunited after a five-year hiatus, strive to be shining examples to the congregation while witnessing between songs: inevitably, their attempts to present themselves as practically perfect in every way go downhill fast, revealing their weaknesses and allowing the audience to join in celebrating their triumphs. In addition to a great and diverse local cast, the Southern Tide Bluegrass Band will provide the tunes. This is the first of Skidaway Island UMC’s “Arts on Skidaway” community outreach series. Friday, March 13-14 at 7 p.m., $10

Barnum @Asbury Memorial Theatre A family-friendly show based on the life of P.T. Barnum, Asbury’s latest sweeps audiences back to 1835 and into the life of the traveling showman and founder of “The Greatest Show on Earth.” A blend of musical theatre, circus antics, and dazzling set design, expect to see jugglers, trapeze artists, and clowns turn the performance into a full-on experience. Directed by David Poole, whose recent work on Collective Face’s The Little Prince showcased his attention to all the little details of the set and stage, Barnum hasn’t been produced in Savannah in over thirty years. “The sanctuary is literally being transformed for the musical to be ‘under the big top,’” Poole reveals. “We will have our own version of Jumbo!” CS Friday, March 13 and 20 at 7:30 p.m., Saturday, March 14 and 21 at 7:30 p.m., Sunday, March 15 and 22 at 3 p.m., $15, $10 children 12 and under

Spring Break Art Camp April 6 - 10

Ever dreamed of becoming a pilot? SAVANNAH AVIATION CAN MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE! TAKE AN INTRODUCTORY FLIGHT LESSON FOR ONLY

129 CALL TODAY! 912.964.1022

Ages 5-12 |full day art camp $150/$140 City of Savannah Resident

SUMMER Art Camp June 1 - July 31 Registration begins April 6

9 West Henry Street 912-651-6783 | www.savannahga.gov/arts registration packet available online

Join Savannah Aviation for a night of

Cigars and Bourbon TWO ENJOYABLE ITEMS THAT GO WELL TOGETHER Bring your favoriate cigars with you and enjoy an evening of great food, music and top shelf bourbons.

$55 Admission

Named “Best Traditional Band in 2014 by the Irish Music Association”

Main Stage 11:00am - Opening Ceremony, Presentation of the Colors, Irish National Anthem, American National Anthem, Ofﬁcial Remarks 11:30am - Irish Dancers of Savannah 12:15pm - Dublin Fireﬁghters Pipe and Drum Band Har O'Donoghue 12:30pm - Harry 1:15pm - FullSet 2:20pm - Glor Na Daire Academy of Irish Dance 2:45pm - Meet FullSet 3:10pm - Frank Emerson, Carroll Brown & Harry O'Donoghue 4:00pm - FullSet 4:55pm - Closing remarks

www.savannahga.gov/arts

Children's Stage 11:30am - Conrad Hartz Puppets 12:00pm - Glor Na Daire Academy of Irish Dance 12:45pm - Savannah Stage Company 1:15pm - Magic Marc S 1:45pm - Irish Dancers of Savannah 2:30pm - Conrad Hartz Puppets 3:00pm - Magic Marc 3:30pm - Savannah Stage Company 4:00pm - Stage Closed

Please purchase tickets at: savannahaviation.com/sst.html or at the door Save $15 OFF per ticket after purchase of one full-price ticket There will be prizes given out throughout the evening! YOUR ADMISSION GETS YOU: • Heavy Hor’ dourves • Top Shelf Bourbon • Beer & Wine • A Fine Cigar • Great Music

FEATURED BOURBONS: • Buﬀalo Trace • Four Roses • Eagle Rare • Booker’s

Must be 21 or older to attend. Dress code: Dress Casual.

culture | the art•Beat of savannah

Politics, police, and photography

‘And Justice for All’ marries art and sociological issues

By Lauren Flotte artrisesavannah.org

“THE reason you need to talk to my wife is because the fact that we are sitting here has everything to do with her. I’m just not gonna lie about it,” says Craig Imar Butts. Assembled in Indigo Sky Community Gallery—artist Jerome Meadow’s Waters Avenue gallery and studio—Imar, as he goes by, and his wife, Sharon Butts, recount their journey to Imar’s first artistic exhibition, “And Justice for All” opening this Saturday. Last year, Imar heard the local Men’s Action Network (M.A.N.) was offering a free bus ride to Washington DC for a December 13 march. This was an opportunity for thousands to unite in response to the loss of black lives at the hands of police, most recently Michael Brown and Eric Gardner. “I felt I had to go. I have a young son who’s 21 now. It very much could have been him. I’m still concerned about that now,” says Imar. So the lifelong photographer found himself in DC as one of 10,000 standing in solidarity with a camera documenting the historical occasion. “When he came back from DC and he was showing me the pictures I was really blown away,” Sharon says. “It was the strength of the emotions that were there. The amount of people that were there. I wished I were there.” In his images there are seas of people each in their own stage of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, although the final stage of acceptance is clearly absent. Signs call out for justice, change and simple respect. “We got to see people from all color, all backgrounds, all races who had that same consciousness, that same deep concern about where the country was going in the area of police violence. Part of the feeling I got there was a deep down shock that this could actually be happening,” says Imar. Sharon recognized the power of the 40 images and suggested a small display of the

In addition to photos like these—which are full color in the show—looped footage from the rally will be projected on the gallery wall, the figures life size.

images in part to thank M.A.N. and members of the International Longshoremen’s Association, who helped provide the bus. “It was after that I realized I was not the only one who thought they should be exhibited some place. So we were guided to Jerome’s studio, showed them to him and he said, ‘oh yeah, we can do this,’” says Sharon. Through the dynamic creative energy of their partnership—Imar as artist and Sharon as curator— the exhibition has grown

far beyond the original scope. “In looking at the photographs, they were alive to me. I was moving through the crowd. I was connecting with the people who were in those photographs. I wanted to stand side by side with them. To me that was what the rally was about—that camaraderie, that solidarity, and to be a part of that,” Sharon says. This was her inspiration for the exhibition’s design. Not limited to the wall, there will be images hanging throughout the space, inviting the audience to walk through the images of the crowds, as if mingling among the marchers. Imar also worked with a videographer to chronicle the rally. He will be projecting looped footage onto the gallery wall, the figures at life size. “You’re going to get a sense of what it would feel like if you were standing at the front of the crowd and the crowd was walking towards you,” says Imar. Meadows will continue Indigo Sky’s tradition of offering thought-provoking conversations during the opening reception between exhibiting artists and community leaders. Imar and Sharon will be speaking with

noted photographer Jerry Harris “about the power that photography brings in marrying art and sociological issues,” says Meadows. “So the average person who may have come for one or the other, after the conversation, will be able to go back into the gallery and find an expanded appreciation for what that visual experience is about.” “I hope that they get an understanding that this is still an issue that needs to be addressed, that it has not gone away and that by them being a part of this exhibit they are keeping it alive,” says Sharon. While this is not the couple’s first joint venture— they also run a publishing company, appear on black talk radio shows, and run a non-profit, Unity in the Community—they are both stepping into new roles. “We kind of pushed each other to where we are today,” says Sharon. Meadows seems to have also encouraged the couple’s growth. It was he who correctly identified Sharon as the curator, and supported the expanded exhibition design. Through them, Meadows’ found his own sense of encouragement. They were brought to his studio when he was consideringwhether to continue to keep the gallery open after a decade. “So the universe sort of gave me these answers by way of these really interesting and pertinent exhibitions that I couldn’t say no to,” says Meadows. While Meadows remains unsure about the gallery’s future after this season, it’s clear the need for compelling exhibitions such as “And Justice for All” will not cease. Hopefully, neither will Indigo Sky. cs And Justice For All Photographs and video by Craig Imar Butts, curated by Sharon Butts Where: Indigo Sky Community Gallery, 915 Waters Ave. When: Saturday, March 14, 6-9pm, Artist and Curator Conversation, 7pm Exhibition runs through April 4, hours by appointment Contact: galleryindigosky@aol.com

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culture | comedy DAILY SHOW alum and epic All-World ranter Lewis Black is coming back to Savannah for a return engagement at the Johnny Mercer Theatre, “The Rant is Due, Part Deux.” We had a quick but intense phone chat with him last week. So Lewis, what’s pissing you off most these days? Lewis Black: What’s pissing me off is the weather. Everything else is meaningless. I just don’t care anymore. I’m done. I’m broken! This is beyond seasonal disorder. When the sun comes out again people are gonna snap. But hopefully in a good way. Maybe people will be running naked in the streets. I came home yesterday and was tired of looking at the weather report. So I was thinking I’d go see my parents in Baltimore after my show in DC. My mother calls me and says you can’t stop by here, it’s snowing. What?! At least I’m not in Boston. If I were in Boston these days, I’d don’t know what I’d do. I guess I would’ve gotten into voodoo.

Lewis Black is good and pissed off and he’s coming to your town By Jim Morekis jim@connectsavannah.com

But unlike SNL with Lorne Michaels, it’s never been an ego thing for Jon Stewart. I don’t think he has any ego about that at all. I mean, it only reflects well on him. But the other side of it is, only smart people get a shot at being on The Daily Show. It’s sort of like, gee, I I don’t understand why so many people are successful after graduating Harvard. Because they take the best people in the first place. We had the best of the best to choose from! Of course that’s not to undermine the fact that Jon always knew what he wanted.

Wait—you mean, you’re a climate change denier? No, it’s false to give both sides. The whole debate is false. It doesn’t work to just talk about the extremes. It’s not worth the trouble. To argue climate change is useless. There’s nothing to discuss, it’s a fact. And the real thing is, even if it’s wrong, what’s the actual problem with thinking about things we should maybe do because God forbid they run counter to economics? You do things because they’re the right things to do, and you figure how to make it work, because we’re caretakers. I mean, what did they even write the Bible for if that’s not the case? But it all falls on deaf ears. I’m beginning to think English is the most difficult language to understand, because apparently any word means anything else.

Jon kind of evolved as far as he could in that position. He’s really made an intelligent choice. He could just sit there in the same place and do that and collect jacks. But that’s what I admire about him—he’s decided to use his talent in other ways.

Yeah, it’s been a great place for a lot of people to take first steps.

The whole thing’s false.

It’s the influx of information, but mostly it’s the lack of facts.

You’re one of The Daily Show’s most famous alumni. How do you feel about Jon Stewart announcing he’s leaving the show?

The Daily Show is Saturday Night Live for millennials. A breeding ground for so much talent.

Climate change is making everything more extreme and unpredictable.

Ironic given the democratization and universal availability of information in the Google/smartphone age.

just called “Fucking Facts.” Of course, the whole journalism industry basically bailed out during the Iraq War and we haven’t really seen them since. I’ve never forgiven them for that.

So tell us about the material you’re bringing to town this trip.

It’s a totally new and different show. I talk about mental health—it’s an increasingly big problem, and if you don’t think it’s a big problem look at Congress. As far as I’m concerned the U.S. Congress is the largest outpatient clinic in the world. This is the same group standing in front of you still trying say they know how to solve the problems they created. I’m trying to find a word that describes who they think they’re talking to. How stupid do they think we are? These people must think we’re just meat with eyeballs. cs

Are we still making fun of Fox News, or has the world finally left them behind?

Fox News will always come up with something else. They really will. Just don’t call it “news.” Everything’s commentary now, there’s no news being reported. I need a show that’s

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FEW things can beat out a well-made burger and a frosty milkshake when you’re out cruisin’ in your Chevy, ponytail waving in the wind, boppin’ along to the Drifters. OK, so now it’s highprice grass-fed beef or conscience-salving tofu-burgers and twerking to Bruno Mars on your iPhone 6… but there was a time… oh, yes. A time when a hamburger tasted like BEEF, darn it. Big, juicy, with that soft bun and plenty of fresh toppings, and milkshakes were made from actual scoops of real ice-cream, not a pre-mixed, vaguely dairyflavored, goo (I’m talkin’ to you, oh so redhaired clown!)

Those great memories of good-ole American-style burgers and real shakes are part of a new and quite wonderful foodie trend that has made Jake’s Wayback Burgers one of the world’s top franchises—stretching from their Newark, Delaware home in 1991, across the nation and as far as Saudi Arabia and Africa. Since there’s an awful lot of Jakes who own burger joints, the founder John Carter held a contest to change the name before he went national. Frequent customers naturally made the connection between the homespun quality they remembered and be-boppin’ good times and Jake’s Way Back Burgers was re-born in August 2010. I’ve watched this place on the Southside of Savannah with interest as they took over the spot of the former Café Loco down from Panera Bread on White Bluff. The concept of utilizing second-generation spaces instead of building from the ground-up gets a big

gold star from me. Since they just opened a couple of weeks ago it’s still a tad stark inside (‘50s style memorabilia posters are on the way), but the vibe is comfortable & welcoming, with red-barn-board wall panels, pleated stainless steel, and old marble and butcher-block counter tops. The idea is to bring you back to a time when burgers were first introduced in America and every drugstore had a lunch counter. The food is served on tin trays with ‘newsprint’ papers (with actual news and info items about the franchise), and the shakes, made and served in-house in tall metal tins: as the owner Jackie Ammerman attests, “When you get your shake frosty cold in a metal tin, it stays cold all the way down to the bottom—no liquefying allowed!” Jackie and her hubby Scott Ammerman

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Irish Nachos just in time for St. Patrick’s Day: Hand-cut fries with housemade Chili, grated melted cheeses, onions & fresh jalapeños had a handful of successful franchises under their belt already when they stepped into Way Back one day for lunch—one taste of that juicy burger, the hand-cut fries and home-style chili, and they knew they had another winner. They decided it was time for Georgia to join the ‘50s-style burger-bugaloo and Savannah is the first city in the state to host this up and coming chain. The beef they use is fresh and never frozen, though already weighed and formed when it gets to the store; that way, personal handling is diminished and food safety problems are avoided. I watched our burgers being cooked up front, and I liked it that each patty is allowed to cook through without being flattened with a hasty spatula—one of the most noticeable perks of this is the succulent juiciness and fine flavor, a burger carefully made, without all the goodness left on the grill. It’s interesting to note that Way Back serves an excellent Southwest Chipotle Burger with pepperjack cheese, fresh jalapeños and chipotle mayo, right when McD’s is has their own Jalapeño Burger special at just $2. You should know that the burgers here run around $6.29 each, however, their amazing taste, generous size, freshness, and true-beefy flavor make the price entirely reasonable. Hand-cut fries are not the only great side

item here—try the crunchy house-made chips (the BBQ flavored are especially good) served warm or the beer-battered onion rings. I noticed that many folks around me seem to crave the rich Chili-Cheese Fries, and when I tasted a cup of the chili I found out exactly why. I’m gonna go for broke here and tell you that the chili tastes very close to what I serve up at home, with plenty of ground beef & a well-balanced blend of spices, and when slathered over the fresh made fries, covered in grated, melted real cheese and a crown of crispy, fresh jalapeño slices, it is every foodie’s dream come true. If you are one of those old guard Savannah folks who miss Captain D’s battered fried fish you should check out the Fried Cod Filet sandwich or the Fillet & Fries platter. Jackie tells me that plans for Fried Shrimp Po-boys are being discussed and if they’re as good as the fish sandwich, I’ll be the first in line Jake’s Way Back Burgers 8108 Abercorn Street Suite 120 (in Savannah Commons, facing White Bluff Rd.) Phone: 912-925-7654 Hours: Daily 10:30 a.m.- 9 p.m

#savstpat2015 | we got some free stuff in the mail

Vote for SAV in Baileys big St. Patrick’s contest! Everybody’s favorite Irish liqueur, Baileys Irish Cream, now has an awesome line of non-alcoholic coffee creamers to go in your Irish coffee this weekend—along with the Jameson of course. Baileys is holding a contest for folks to vote for their favorite St. Patrick’s Day celebration in the country, and of course we think it should be Savannah’s. (Other cities in the running include New York, Chicago,

Digital Magazine

Boston, San Francisco (?), and….. Seattle?!?! Whatevs. Cast your vote (for Savannah of course!) at BaileysCreamerStPats.com for a chance to win a grand prize trip to the winning city in 2016. Or, if you’re already in Savannah, we guess you could vote for one of the other cities so you could win a trip there, or….. oh just go vote! We did! cs

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culture | art patrol

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Openings & Receptions Aesthetic Collective — Graduating seniors

showcase their college portfolios for this capstone project. Reception Mar. 27 at 5:30pm. March 16-27. Armstrong State University, 11935 Abercorn St.

Cheers! — From tea pots to punch bowls,

explore the world of drinking in this fun exhibition dedicated to objects used for the consumption of tea, wine, coffee, punch, beer, cider, and chocolate. This unique display will give visitors a glimpse into our past drinking habits, using items from Telfair Museums’ permanent collection. General museum admission. ongoing. telfair. org. Telfair Academy of Arts and Sciences, 121 Barnard St.

Christine A. Moore Millinery — Christine A.

Moore Millinery from NYC will show her Spring 2015 collection. March 12-13. Gaucho, 251 Bull St.

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Graffiti + Positivity At Hesse K8 School, art students learned about the history of graffiti. They discussed it as an art form versus vandalism, and whether or not it qualifies as art. Students brainstormed different ideas for positive words or phrases, and then chose one to illustrate with mixed media. Students used drawing techniques to add value to their letters, and used watercolors to complete the composition. Reception at BLICK Friday March 13th from 6-7pm Fri., March 13, 6-7 p.m. Blick Art Materials, 318 East Broughton St.

The Paintings of Anne Taylor Nash — Anne Taylor Nash (1884–1968) did not begin painting until she was forty years old, when she became inspired by the example of her close friend Elizabeth O’Neill Verner, an artist and a key figure in the Charleston Renaissance. General admission. Telfair Academy of Arts and Sciences, 121 Barnard St. Women Artists in Savannah — This exhibition includes work by artists who considered themselves to be primarily self-taught, such as Anna Hunter and Myrtle Jones, as well as work by artists from other cities who were influenced by time spent in Savannah, such as Andrée Ruellan and Mary Hoover Aiken. One of the most contemporary artists in the exhibition is Virginia Jackson Kiah, who moved to Savannah in 1950 and was widely known for her work as both a civil rights activist and a portrait painter. General museum admission. Telfair Academy of Arts and Sciences, 121 Barnard St.

Continuing Exhibits Chasing the Horizon — Christina Edwards brings each landscape to life by pouring one translucent layer of color onto a surface at a time. Edwards will donate a portion of the proceeds from the evening’s sales to the Rape Crisis Center of the Coastal Empire. Kobo Gallery, 33 Barnard Street

Usher in Spring by checking out Katja Loher’s ‘Beeplanet’ at the Jepson! data.tron/data.scan — Exhibition by acclaimed Japanese composer and visual artist Ryoji Ikeda, marking his first exhibition in the southeastern U.S. Ikeda’s experiential works make mathematical equations visible through the use of sound and light. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd. Dicky Stone and Dana Richardson — A native of Sewanee, Tennessee, Dana Richardson holds a BFA in painting and a MAT from SCAD and currently teaches art at Savannah Christian. Her pieces are small-scale Savannah cityscapes in oil, collage and mixed media. Savannahian Dicky Stone transforms indigenous wood such as pecan, sycamore and maple into decorative pieces of sculpture. Hospice Savannah Art Gallery, 1352 Eisenhower Drive. Evocations from South and Central America — The Grand Bohemian Gallery welcomes paintings by Ivaldo Robles and Delmer Mejia Dubon, two Latin American contemporary artists. The Grand Bohemian Gallery, 700 Drayton St. High School Art Competition — The Savannah Art Association presents the first annual High School Art Competition exhibit. The theme “Visual Blues” is in conjunction with the ongoing exhibition at the Jepson. Eighteen Savannah-area high schools, both public and private, will participate. Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St. In Living Color — Spanning three decades of

Warhol’s career, In Living Color features some of the artist’s most iconic screenprints, including his portraits of Marilyn Monroe and Mao Zedong, the splashy camouflage series, and the controversial Electric Chair portfolio. Drawn from the collections of Jordan Schnitzer and his family foundation, In Living Color is divided into five sections—experimentation, emotion, experience, subversion, and attitude. Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St.

Katja Loher: Beeplanet — Focuses on the

work of the Swiss-born artist Katja Loher, a leader among the next generation of video artists. Loher’s work takes video out of conventional modern contexts and into wall-mounted video portals and hand-blown glass bubbles. Environmental themes play a large role in the artist’s recent works, touching on endangered species, bee colony collapse, and speculation on whether humans can fulfill the essential roles that these creatures play. Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St. Linear Abstraction — Exhibition featuring

artists Rana Begum, Walead Beshty, Marco Breuer, Michelle Grabner, Terry Haggerty, John Houck, Matt Mignanelli, Phillip Stearns, Russell Tyler, Rafael Vega and Rebecca Ward. Gutstein Gallery, 201 E Broughton St,. Lisa Watson — Lisa D. Watson’s artwork has

been exhibited in galleries nationally, and her mural work can be seen in four of Bill Viola’s Film Art Installations. Jewish Educational Alliance, 5111 Abercorn St.

Low Country Scenes: Coastal Images by Bryan Stovall & Les Wilkes — Les Wilkes and Bryan

Stovall have teamed up to showcase some of their most captivating scenes shot in black and white, and many in infrared. As always, a portion of sales benefits Hospice Savannah’s Daily Impact Fund which provides unique services to patients, families and our community not otherwise covered by Medicare or other insurances. Hospice Savannah, 1352 Eisenhower Dr.

The Maps of Infinitude — Known for his

complex, monumental and kaleidoscopic mandala paintings, SCAD alumnus Caomin Xie ponders beauty of the celestial realm. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd.

film Screenshots

by Matt Brunson

FOCUS

OO We all know that Will Smith has effortless charisma to burn and acting ability to flex, so let’s focus on Margot Robbie, Smith’s co-star in the new film Focus. Robbie made a splash as Leonardo DiCaprio’s wife in The Wolf of Wall Street, but given the excesses of that picture, it was hard to completely gauge her talent behind all that glitz. In Focus, she’s still playing a character that’s only half-developed, but here she’s allowed opportunities to demonstrate that she’s in possession of adequate comic chops. Clearly, she’s more than just another pretty face. With Smith and Robbie at the top of the Hot Tube Time Machine 2 So good, we keep putting up photos of it. ticket, we’re guaranteed a movie that’s easy on the eyes, even if its inconsistencies render in flirtatious banter against luxurious whether it’s juggling knives, eating pancakes backdrops. it occasionally taxing on the brain. This is or being anally violated. Hey, it still sounds Unfortunately, that dialogue, like most another in the long line of tricky, sleight-ofbetter than American Idol. of the yakking in this movie, is on the weak hand yarns in which everyone is deceiving It’s not only the decade of Red Dawn and side, with only Gerald McRaney (as a everyone else at all times, but based on the Reaganomics that’s absent from this new grouchy bodyguard) accorded a few choice results of 2013’s Now You See Me and this picture; also MIA is the first film’s topcracks. And as film fans know, yarns of this picture, it’s obvious that Hollywood’s husbilled star, John Cusack. With Cusack and nature live and die by the beautiful turn of tlers have lost their sting since the days of his character Adam Yates out of the way, phrase. Even David Mamet’s Heist, one of Paul Newman. the focus falls even more on the other three the lesser entries in this field, knew enough Smith is Nicky, a seasoned con artist principals. Lou (Rob Corddry) and Nick who agrees to let a novice named Jess (Rob- to stack the deck with quips like, “I’m as (Craig Robinson) have taken advantage of quiet as an ant pissing on cotton.” bie) join his team. For none-too-believable the knowledge acquired during their timeIn Focus, what passes for profane poetry? travel exploits to make themselves filthy reasons, Nicky eventually parts ways with Jess, only to bump into her again three years “You hittin’ that? You should be hittin’ that.” rich, but Lou’s son Jacob (Clark Duke) later in Buenos Aires. He’s in the Argentin- Clearly, the con is on audience members hasn’t found his direction and remains expecting more for their money. ian capital to set up a scam at the behest of unfulfilled. a race-car owner (Rodrigo Santoro), and At a lavish party, Lou, who’s hated by he spots her when…well, let’s not reveal too HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2 almost everyone, gets his pecker shot off, much. OO leading Nick and Jacob to drag him into the There’s one sharply staged sequence The 1980s are nowhere to be found in hot tub so they can go back in time and preinvolving a series of bets placed on a football Hot Tub Time Machine 2, a bummer for vent the incident from occurring. Instead, game—BD Wong is memorable as this seg- those who still want their MTV. Instead, they end up 10 years in the future, but ment’s linchpin – but the rest of this draggy this sequel to the ever-so-modest hit from because Lou is OK when he should be dead, film offers nothing but surface sheen, with 2010 sprints in the other direction, headthey surmise that the would-be killer must the supposedly riveting twists taking a back ing into a future where the number one have come from this future world (like the seat – make that a spot in the trunk—to the TV program in America is a moronic game Terminator). spectacle of watching two gorgeous people show wherein the participants must engage So before they figure out how to return to hungrily eye each other while engaging in activities decided by audience members, their own time, the three men team up with

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Adam’s grown son Adam Jr. (Adam Scott) and attempt to answer the question, “Who shot Lou’s dick?” The query doesn’t have the same kick as “Who shot J.R.?” but writer Josh Heald at least makes an effort to keep the identity of the assailant a mystery until the end. In other respects, though, this is a thoroughly lazy sequel, and while there are a handful of undeniably funny bits, too much of the material traffics in the same sort of lame gross-out gags and gay-panic jokes that define the modern American comedy. The first Hot Tub flick also was guilty of this brand of humor, but there it was frequently subverted in amusing ways; here, the jokes not only just sit there on the screen like dead slugs, they also stretch themselves out for an eternity, as Heald and director Steve Pink mercilessly run them into the ground. Corddry, Duke and especially Robinson are still amusing to watch, but without Cusack around to anchor the proceedings with his likability and semi-straight man status, the film drifts further and further into strictly puerile waters. Still, it’s nice to see how the filmmakers envision the world in 2025. Personally, I’ll be among those casting a vote for President Neil Patrick Harris.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

O Where to begin in tackling a movie as awful as Fifty Shades of Grey? Let’s be fair and consider that it was hardly a doomed project from the start. The allure of the book (which admittedly I haven’t read) is largely its sexual explicitness, yet that’s nowhere to be found in this eunuch of a film version. Universal had the opportunity to make history by releasing an envelopeshredding, NC-17 multiplex movie but opted to go with an R-rated version penned by Kelly Marcel, whose previous screen continues on p. 50

WYNNSONG 11

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Chappie, Unfinished Business, Focus, The Lazarus Effect, McFarland, USA, The Duff, Fifty Shades of Grey, Kingsman: Jupiter Ascending, The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, American Sniper, Still Alice, Whiplash

Chappie, Unfinished Business, Focus, The Lazarus Effect, The Duff, Fifty Shades of Grey, Kingsman: The Secret Service, Jupiter Ascending, The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water, American Sniper, The Wedding Ringer

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Cinderella screens at 7 p.m. Thursday, March 12, and at 6 and 8:15 p.m. on Friday, March 13 and Saturday, March 14 (two screenings each day)

SINCE 2001 – BREWING COFFEE & COMMUNITY

screenshots |

BEAN

credit was—whoa, how’s this for cutting edge?—the Disneyfied flick Saving Mr. Banks. Lead actor Jamie Dornan, who stars as Mr. Grey, refused to go full-frontal for the picture, so there went any fulfillment of the readers’ desire to wallow in Michael Fassbender-level nudity. Of course, being an American film, the female lead, Dakota Johnson, frequently bares all, but the activities required of her and her co-star prove to be distressingly banal, unimaginative and downright boring. This is a vanilla film that likely won’t even satisfy its target vanilla audience, all of whose members will be baffled at the emphasis on risible dialogue over the sex scenes they found so riveting in the print edition. For those unaware of its premise, this finds the powerful businessman Mr. Grey catching the eye and libido of a college student named Anastasia Steele. She wants a romantic relationship, but this horny homey don’t play that. Instead, he’s all about the BDSM, urging her to sign a contract that states she will become the “submissive” to his “dominant” and must obey his every whim, particularly when it comes to sexual matters. And thus the template is set for the excruciatingly repetitive dialogue that dominates the proceedings. “Be my sex slave.” “Why can’t we go on dates?” “I don’t operate that way.” “Well, OK.” “Be my sex slave.” “Why can’t we go on dates?” Blather, wince, repeat. It’s obvious that no one involved with this project—and that includes the primary culprit, E.L. James herself—has much insight into how the BDSM community actually operates in the real world, which explains why the source material was a lightning rod of controversy among lifestyle practitioners. The film will doubtless follow suit, since it tends to sometimes confuse “lifestyle choices” with “abusive relationship.” Personally, I expect most viewers would rather see the filmmakers take this franchise in a different direction. How about Fifty Shades of The Grey, with the two vapid protagonists forced to contend with Liam Neeson and a pack of ravenous wolves? Or Fifty Shades of Grey’s Anatomy, with McDreamy demonstrating the kinky side benefits of a stethoscope and a thermometer? Surely any other plotline trumps the one being used for what will doubtless go down as history’s first trilogy of snuff films, a franchise certain to kill not only careers but also strangle the basic desire of moviemakers and moviegoers to entertain and be entertained.

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OCCUPY SAVANNAH PRESENTS:

BODY OF WAR

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STILL ALICE

OOO An absolutely devastating disease, Alzheimer’s has been at the center of three films for which the top-billed star handily nabbed an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress. Judi Dench (Iris) and Julie Christie (Away from Her) lost their bids, but here’s banking on Julianne Moore to take the prize for the new drama Still Alice. Moore’s would be a worthy victory, and not just for the side benefit of garnering more attention for a disease that’s traditionally kicked to the sidelines when it comes to discussions and donations. No, Moore deserves the gold statue for the simple reason that she delivered the best performance by an actress in a leading role throughout the duration of 2014. Only Wild’s Reese Witherspoon and Two Days, One Night’s Marion Cotillard came close. And while Still Alice may not be as excellent as Two Days and especially Wild, it’s still more than a generic Lifetime movie as its detractors would lead everyone to believe. Working from the novel by Lisa Genova, writer-directors Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland have made a film that not only addresses the issues confronting the Alzheimer’s victim—in this case, a notable linguistics professor suffering from early onset of the disease—but also those of the loved ones surrounding and supporting her. As Alice’s husband and one of their grown children, Alec Baldwin and Kristen Stewart particularly make palpable the fears and frustrations felt by overwhelmed individuals unexpectedly cast in the roles of caretakers. Still, for all the worthwhile contributions on both sides of the camera, it’s the towering performance by Moore that clearly deserves the vast majority of the ink. It was no less heartbreaking watching the women played by Dench and Christie slowly losing control of their minds, but by making Alice a person whose entire career has been devoted to the study of language, of words, of dialogue, there’s an added level of tragedy being brought into play. Here’s an individual who lives for language, and she can no longer enjoy the pleasures it provides or the career it sustains. Alice’s beautiful mind has betrayed her, and Moore makes us feel that mental collapse even as her character plummets further down a rabbit hole ravaged by disease and despair.

JUPITER ASCENDING

OO Jupiter Ascending’s heroine is Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a Russian immigrant who discovers she possesses the same DNA as an otherworldly (and deceased) queen and thus engages in a power struggle with the royal’s three bratty children (Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth and Tuppence Middleton) for control of our planet. Helping Jupiter out is a wolfman named Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), who lost his wings, but hopes to gain them back at the moment that George Bailey’s daughter Zuzu rings a bell in Bedford Falls. Or something. There’s actually a seed of a good idea buried in Jupiter Ascending, particularly in its themes relating to class struggles, the weight of historical bloodlines, and the notion of Earth as a gambling chip (all also pondered in the Wachowskis’ woefully underrated Cloud Atlas). But the entire project suffers from a severe case of overkill, with the Wachowskis offering too much arid exposition and too many artless explosions. The performances are all on the subtle side, with the notable exception of, yes, Eddie Redmayne. His turn as Balem Abrasax is risible, and it’s impossible to stifle giggles whenever he speaks, whether in hushed tones or loud declarations. His performance as Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything is rightly admired, but in this misfire, he seems only capable of providing a brief history of ham.

AMERICAN SNIPER

OOP American Sniper turns out to be one of the better Clint Eastwood releases of recent vintage, relating the story of Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper), a U.S. Navy Seal shooter famous (infamous?) for recording more kills than anyone else in American military history. Unfortunately, American Sniper adds nothing new to the conversation of gun violence and hero worship. While Eastwood and scripter Jason Hall take some care in muddying the morality at play, they still err on the side of sainthood in painting their portrait of Chris Kyle, a man whose more tasteless actions and comments have been white scrubbed from this biopic. American Sniper features a solid turn by Cooper and a few sequences that pack a visceral kick, but a little more complexity would have allowed the picture to score a more direct hit. cs

happenings We reserve the right to edit or cut listings because of space limitations.

Activism & Politics

13th Colony Patriots

Conservative political activists that meet the 13th of each month. Dedicated to preserving the U.S. Constitution and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. See Facebook page for meeting location. Free 13th of every month, 6:30-8:30 p.m. 912604-4048. liveoakstore.com/tubbysthunderbolt. Tubby's Tank House (Thunderbolt), 2909 River Dr. Savannah Area Young Republicans

Get involved. Contact is Michael Johnson, via email or telephone, or see website for info. 912-604-0797. chairman@sayr.org. sayr.org. Call or see website for information. Free ongoing. 912-308-3020. savannahyoungrepublicans.com. Savannah Libertarians

Join the Facebook group to find out about upcoming local events. Mondays. Facebook.com/groups/SAVlibertarians. Savannah Tea Party

5pm social time. 5:30pm meeting begins. 6pm speaker. Reservations not necessary. Free to attend. Food and beverages available for purchase. Mondays, 5:30 p.m.. 912-598-7358. savannahteaparty. com. liveoakstore.com/tubbysthunderbolt. Tubby's Tank House (Thunderbolt), 2909 River Dr. Veterans for Peace

Local chapter 170 of VFP, a national organization of military veterans of all eras waging peace and exposing the costs of war. Meets every first Thursday at 7:30pm. ongoing. 303-550-1158. St. Frances Cabrini Church, 11500 Middleground Road. Young Democrats

Mondays at 7pm on the second level of Foxy Loxy, Bull Street. Call or visit the Young Democrats Facebook page for more information. Free ongoing. 423-619-7712. foxyloxycafe.com/. Foxy Loxy Cafe, 1919 Bull St. Auditions and Calls for Entries

Call for Applications for Boards, Commissions and Authorities

The Mayor and Aldermen of the City of Savannah will be accepting applications beginning Wednesday, February 25, 2015 for appointment(s) and reappointment(s) to the Boards, Commissions and Authorities listed below. Applications can be found on the City’s website: www.savannahga.gov/ boards. Applications must be received by noon, Friday, March 20. Upon completion of the appointment process by the Mayor and Aldermen of the City of Savannah, all applicants and appointees will be notified. Visit savannahga.gov/boards for a full list of current openings. Through March 20. 912-651-6441. clerkofcouncil@savannahga.gov. Online only, none. Call for Applications for Minor Home Repair Program

The City of Savannah’s Housing Department is currently accepting applications for the 2015 Minor Home Repair program.

51 compiled by Rachael Flora | happenings@connectsavannah.com Happenings is Connect Savannah’s listing of community gatherings, events, classes and groups. If you want an event listed, email happenings@connectsavannah.com. Include specific dates, time, locations with addresses, cost and a contact number. Deadline for inclusion is 5pm Friday, to appear in next Wednesday’s edition.

This program provides home repairs through grants or loans to residents who meet specific income guidelines. Applicants must be live in the city limits and occupy their house to be eligible for the program. Applications will be accepted until April 30. The repairs and home improvements are mostly done by one of several volunteer organizations that provide training to challenged youth. Repairs may range from painting to installing a new roof, depending upon the condition of the house and the skill level of the volunteers. Through April 30. savannahga.gov/homerepair. Online only, none.

related arts, crafts, and antiques. The Museum invites artists, model ship builders, and antique dealers to submit images of their maritime/nautical related paintings, drawings, ceramics, jewelry, prints, mixed-media, woodworking, and collectable pieces for consideration. Through April 16. shipsofthesea.org/#!arts-festival/ c7b. shipsofthesea.org. Ships of The Sea Museum, 41 Martin Luther King Jr Blvd. Call for Grant Applications for the Savannah Friends of Music

The Savannah Friends of Music organization announces that grant applications are now being accepted until Wednesday, April Call for Applications to the Society of Women 15. These grants are meant to help fund Engineers Scholarship programs that fulfill their mission, which Society of Women Engineers Savannah is to support, sponsor and promote music Coastal Empire will be awarding a $1000 programs and musical education in the scholarship for the upcoming 2015-16 greater Savannah area. Eligible programs school year. The student must meet the can be either a one-time event or an ongofollowing requirements to apply: female ing series. Applications must be completed enrolled in her senior year of high school; and submitted by Wednesday, April 15. Reintends to pursue a bachelor's degree at an cipients will be named shortly thereafter. ABET accredited university in engineering, Through April 15. savannahfriendsofmusic. computing, or engineering technology; and com. Downtown Savannah, downtown. Call for Proposals for 2015 Weave-a-Dream be a resident of Bryan, Chatham, EffingThe City of Savannah's Weave-a-Dream ham, Liberty, Long or McIntosh counties. Panel has issued a call for proposals for its Through April 3. swesce.org. Downtown 2015 cultural and arts projects initiative. Savannah, downtown. Call for Art Instructors Applications will be accepted through the The City of Savannah’s Department of calendar year, while funds are available. Cultural Affairs is now accepting resumes Programs are to be completed prior to for visual arts, puppetry, and age appropri- October 1, 2015. Project funding is availate video and animation instructors for able up to $2,000 for specific and innovathe 2015 Summer Art Camp, taking place tive arts, cultural, or heritage projects or June 1 through July 31 at 9 West Henry presentations that have a measurable, St. Children ages 5 to 12 can participate quantifiable benefit to Savannah’s diin the week-long camp which provides verse populations. The Weave-A-Dream an introduction to painting, ceramics, committee seeks proposals that actively jewelry, fibers, mixed media, puppetry, involve youth, seniors, and those who have video and animation in age-appropriate limited access to arts based programs in group settings. Instructors at the full day Savannah. Programs engaging participates art camp work with children ages 5-8, and/ ranging from 6 -11 graders with disciplines or 9-12 and teen interns ages 13-18. The of production, animation, photography hours are 8:30 am - 5:00 pm. Each week, desktop publishing, CAD, metalworking Monday through Thursday, instructors and carpentry are of particular interest to will teach five classes a day, one hour per Weave-A-Dream. While other programs group, with a maximum of 10 children per such as performing, visual, media, theater, group. On Friday, instructors will meet with folk, design (architecture), or literary arts each group in the morning for 30 minutes. are also encouraged to apply. To be eligible Instructors may plan multiple projects per for consideration, an organization must be week. Qualified instructors must submit to a non-profit, 501c3, head-quartered in Saa background check. This is a contracted vannah’s corporate limits. Proposed proweekly position. Through June 1. 912-651- grams must also be produced within the 6783. chefner@savannahga.gov. City of City’s corporate limits. No individual artist Savannah Department of Cultural Affairs, 9 applications will be accepted. Through West Henry St. Aug. 2. 912-651-5988 ext. 8969. rbrown02@ Call for Artists savannahga.gov. savannahga.gov/arts. The Sentient Bean seeks experienced art- City of Savannah Department of Cultural ists for one-month-long exhibitions of his/ Affairs, 9 West Henry St. her work. Artists must have a website with Call for Speakers for Geekend 2015 The theme of Creative Coast's Geekend current images representing a sample of 2015 is Growth. All entrepreneurs, develthe work to be shown in order to be conopers, marketers, social media mavericks, sidered. Apply to sentientbooking@gmail. technology enthusiasts, designers and com, subject line “art show." See webother creatives are encouraged to apply to site for info. Fridays.. sentientbean.com/ booking#visualarts. sentientbean.com. The speak now. Geekend is looking for compelling cutting-edge content that is actionable Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. Call For Entries: Maritime Arts Festival and touches upon any one or several of On May 9, 2015, Ships of the Sea will hold the following topics: Design, Development, its first “Maritime Arts Festival.” The event Mobile, Social Media, Marketing, Growth is a one day outdoor exhibition of maritime Hacking, Access to Capital, Sales, Manage-

ment. The festival will take place October 15-17. Through Oct. 15. 912-447-8457. geek-end.com/speakers/apply. thecreativecoast.org. Creative Coast, 415 W. Boundary St. City of Savannah TV Show Seeks Entries

The City of Savannah's TV station, SGTV, seeks profiles, documentaries, animations, original music videos, histories or other original works by or about the citizens of Savannah to run on "Engage," a television show produced by the city. No compensation. SGTV offers an opportunity to expose local works to over 55,000 households in Chatham County. Submit proposals via website. Saturdays.. savannahga.gov/engagesgtv. Gallery Seeks Local Artists

Kobo Gallery, 33 Barnard Street, seeks 2-D and 3-D artists to join its cooperative gallery. Must be a full-time resident of Savannah or nearby area. Work to be considered includes painting, photography, mixed media, sculpture, glass, ceramics and wood. Submit 5-10 images of work, resume/CV and bio to info@kobogallery. com. Mondays. Kobo Gallery, 33 Barnard Street ,. Homeschool Music Classes

Music classes for homeschool students ages 8-18 and their parents. Offered in Guyton and Savannah. See website for details. ongoing. CoastalEmpireMusic.com. Oatland Island Seeks Memories and Recollections for 40th Anniversary

Oatland Island Education Center is looking for memories of Oatland Island in honor of their 40th anniversary. People who were part of the Youth Conservation Corp that helped to build Oatland Island Education Center in the 1970’s. Great memories from field trips. Special family memories of Oatland Island. Send your photos and stories to memories@oatland40th.org. Deadline is August 31. undefined. 912-395-1500. oatlandisland.org. ReCycle Art Call for Entries

Art Rise Savannah and the Savannah Bicycle Campaign are teaming up to bring art to Earth Day this year with the reCycle Art exhibition and auction. Join in on the fun by submitting creative work from any medium that fits the theme of bikes or sustainability. To enter the reCycle Art exhibition and sell your art at the auction, send an entry form and a high-resolution image of your work to recycleartsav@ gmail.com by March 25. Artists with work selected for the auction will be notified by April 2. Free! Wednesdays, 11:30-11:45 p.m.. recycleartsav@gmail.com. artrisesavannah.org/recycle-art/. artrisesavannah. org. Art Rise Savannah, 2427 Desoto Ave. Registration Open for Camp Aloha

Children ages 6 to 17 who have experienced the death of a loved one within the last 24 months are invited to attend a weekend overnight camp organized by not-for-profit Hospice Savannah’s Full Circle bereavement staff and volunteers. Camp Aloha will be held May 1-3, 2015 at the New Ebenezer Retreat Center in

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Happenings |

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Rincon and is free of charge thanks to the generous sponsorship of the Kaminsky Automotive Group. Trained volunteers and professionals will provide therapeutic activities to teach the children that they are not alone in their grief experience. Campers enjoy an array of activities such as swimming, sports, games, painting, group therapy sessions, campfires, singing, playing and making new friends who have experienced tragic losses too. Through May 1. 912-303-9442. hospicesavannah. org/campaloha. New Ebenezer Retreat Center, 2887 Ebenezer Road. Benefits

Chatham County Animal Control Seeks Donations of Items

Chatham County Animal Control seeks items for pets in the facility. Canned and dry dog and cat food, baby formula, newspaper, paper towels, soaps, crates, leashes, collars, wash cloths, towels. Open daily, 1pm-5pm. Mondays.. 912-351-6750. animalcontrol.chathamcounty.org. Chatham County Animal Shelter, 7215 Sallie Mood Dr. Driving for Greenbriar

Gauntt Hudgins, a 7th grader at Oglethorpe Charter School, is working with his fellow students and FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) members at OCS to raise funds and awareness for the Greenbriar Children's Center. This community service project is to help children that may be homeless, abused, neglected, or suffering from other traumatic conditions. This racing season Gauntt will be racing bandoleros in honor of the "Greenbriar Children's Center" and Oglethorpe Charter School FBLA during the Winter Series at Atlanta Motor Speedway, Winter Nationals at Orlando Speed World and March Madness at Concord Speedway located outside of Charlotte, NC. The students are committed to the welfare of children that need a helping hand. Help Gauntt and his fellow FBLA members raise funds for this worthy cause by donating to the Gofundme account, gofundme.com/ocsfbla, and supporting Gauntt's racing season. Through March 31. 912-395-5075. gofundme.com/ ocsfbla. Greenbriar Children's Center, 3709 Hopkins Street. Forsyth Farmers Market Seeks Sponsors

Market sponsors invest in a healthy community and support the local economy. Sponsorships begin at $350. Help keep food fresh and local. Tuesdays.. kristen@ forsythfarmersmarket.com. forsythfarmersmarket.com. forsythfarmersmarket. com/. Forsyth Farmers' Market, 501 Whitaker St., South End of Forysth Park. $5 Bikram Yoga Class to Benefit Local Charities

Bikram Yoga Savannah offers a weekly Karma class to raise money for local charities. Thursdays during the 6:30pm class. Pay $5 for class and proceeds are donated to a different charity each month. This is a regular Bikram Yoga class. ongoing. 912.356.8280. bikramyogasavannah.com. SCMPD Animal Control seeks Volunteers

Savannah Chatham County Animal Control seeks volunteers to serve various tasks as needed by the shelter. No prior animal 52 shelter experience is necessary. Newly

trained volunteers will be authorized to serve immediately after orientation. Potential volunteers are asked to notify J. Lewis prior to orientation; though, walk-ins are welcome. Volunteers must be at least 17-years-old. ongoing. (912) 525-2151. jlewis01@savannahga.gov. Classes, Camps & Workshops

Argentine Tango Beyond Basics Group Class

A class for advanced beginners in Argentine Tango. Prerequisite: knowledge of Basic elements of Argentine Tango. No partner required. This is a 4 week course that will progress each week. $35 Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.. 912.312.3549. salondebaile. dance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Art Classes at The Studio School

Ongoing weekly drawing and painting classes for youth and adults. See website, send email or call for details. 912-4846415. melindaborysevicz@gmail.com. thestudioschoolsavannah.com. Art, Music, Piano, Voice Coaching

Coaching for all ages, beginners through advanced. Classic, modern, jazz improvization and theory. Serious inquiries only. 912-961-7021 or 912-667-1056. Beading Classes

Offered every weekend at Perlina Beadshop, 6 West State Street. Check website calendar or call for info. 912-441-2656. perlinabeadshop.com.

Beading Classses at Epiphany Bead & Jewelry Studio

Learn jewelry-making techniques from beginner to advanced. Call for class times. 912-920-6659. Epiphany Bead & Jewelry Studio, 407 East Montgomery Xrds. Beginning Belly Dance Classes

Taught by Happenstance Bellydance. All skill levels and styles. Private instruction available. $15 912-704-2940. happenstancebellydance@gmail.com. happenstancebellydance.wordpress.com. Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Champions Training Center

Offering a variety of classes and training in mixed martial arts, jui-jitsu, judo and other disciplines for children and adults. All skill levels. 525 Windsor Rd. 912-349-4582. ctcsavannah.com. Chatham County Sheriff's Office Explorers Post 876

Chatham County Sheriff's Office Explorers Post 876, is taking applications from young men and women (ages 14-20) interested in law enforcement careers. Explorers experience mentoring, motivation, and learn skills which help prepare them for their roles as productive citizens. See Chatham County Sheriff's web page, click "Community/Explorers Post 876 or call. Wednesdays.. 912-651-3743. chathamsheriff.org. Chinese Language Classes

The Confucius Institute at Savannah State University offers free Chinese language classes starting January 17. To register, please call 912-358-3160. ongoing. 912358-3160. confuciusinstitute@savannahstate.edu. savannahstate.edu. savstate. edu/. Savannah State University, 3219 College St. Classical Guitar Instruction

Professional level classical instruction with a university professor. Lessons available for all levels with Dr. Brian Luckett, DMA. Private studio in Starland District. $25/half hour, $45/hour. brian@brianluckett.com. (brianluckett.com.

ing. 912-484-6415. melindaborysevicz@ gmail.com. thestudioschoolsavannah. com. Studio School, 1319 Bull St.

Savannah Clay Studio at Beaulieu offers handbuilding, sculpture, and handmade tiles, basic glazing and firing. 912-3514578. sav..claystudio@gmail.com.

Housing Authority Neighborhood Resource Center

Clay Classes

Boating Classes

Classes on boat handling, boating safety and navigation offered by U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary. See website or call to register. 912-897-7656. savannahaux.com. Conscious Kids Yoga

A yoga class for children age 4 and up, to build skill, confidence, strength, and abilities of the body, mind, and heart. $15 per class or $50 for 6 sessions (to be used within 2 months) Wednesdays, 4-4:45 p.m.. 912-544-6387. erigosavannah.com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street. DUI Prevention Group

Offers victim impact panels for intoxicated drivers, DUI, offenders, and anyone seeking knowledge about the dangers of driving while impaired. A must see for teen drivers. Meets monthly. $40/session 912443-0410. Earn the New Standard in HR Certification

Establish yourself as a globally-recognized human resource expert by earning the new standard in HR certification: SHRM Certified Professional (SHRM-CP™) and SHRM Senior Certified Professional (SHRMSCP™). These professional certifications can open doors for professional advancement, serve to harmonize standards with changing expectations and signal to employers advanced professional development. They reflect what HR practitioners need to know to be leaders in their organizations and in the profession. $965 SHRM member / $1040 non-SHRM member Through May 11, 6-9 p.m. 912-478-1763. proftrainingmgmt@georgiasouthern. edu. academics.georgiasouthern.edu/ce/ programs/professionaldevelopment/shrmcert/. cgc.georgiasouthern.edu/. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. English as Second Language Classes

Learn conversational English, comprehension, vocabulary and life communication skills. All ages. Thursdays, 7:30pm, Island Christian Church, 4601 US Highway 80 East. Free. 912-897-3604. islandchristian. org. Family Law Workshop

The Mediation Center has three workshops per month for people who do not have legal representation in a family matter: divorce, legitimation, modifications of child support, visitation, contempt. Schedule: 1st Tues, 2nd Mon, 4th Thursday. Call for times. $30 912-354-6686. mediationsavannah.com. Fany's Spanish/English Institute

Spanish is fun. Classes for adults and children held at 15 E. Montgomery Crossroad. Register by phone. ongoing. 912-921-4646. Figure Drawing Classes

Tuesdays 6-9pm and Wednesdays 9:3012:30am. $60/4-session package or $20 drop-in fee. At the Studio School. ongo-

Guitar, Mandolin, or Bass Guitar Lessons

Emphasis on theory, reading music, and improvisation. Located in Ardsley Park. ongoing. 912-232-5987. Housing Authority of Savannah hosts classes at the Neighborhood Resource Center. Adult literacy/GED prep: MonThurs, 9am-12pm & 1pm-4pm. Financial education: 4th Fri each month, 9am-11am. Basic computer training: Tues & Thurs, 1pm-3pm. Community computer lab: Mon-Fri, 3pm-4:30pm. ongoing. 912-232-4232 x115. savannahpha.com. savannahpha.com/NRC.html. Neighborhood Resource Center, 1407 Wheaton St. Knitting & Crochet Classes

Offered at The Frayed Knot, 6 W. State St. See the calendar of events on website. Mondays. 912-233-1240. thefrayedknotsav.com. Lean Six Sigma Green Belt

Discover what world-class organizations such as General Electric, Motorola and Xerox already know. Six Sigma can improve a company’s bottom line. By attending this program, participants will gain a deep understanding of the Six Sigma approach, proven tools for implementing the Define/Measure/Analyze/ Improve/Control (DMAIC) methodology to a project and a Green Belt Certification. $3950 March 16-20, 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. https://pe.gatech.edu/courses/ lean-six-sigma-green-belt. Georgia Tech Savannah, 210 Technology Circle. Learn to Sew

Sewing lessons for all ages and skill levels. Private and Group classes. Tuesdays.. 912-596-0889. kleossewingstudio.com. Kleo's Sewing Studio, 36 W. Broughton St. #201. Life Coaching

Group & individual life coaching with a Certified Life Coach. Plan for a career change, new lifestyle, or an opportunity to pursue creative or business projects. Step-by-step guidance to fulfill aspirations. In person or telephone sessions. Thursdays.. 912-596-1952. info@roiseandassociates.com. Downtown Savannah, downtown. Microsoft Office - PowerPoint

Learn all that PowerPoint has to offer, including its latest features. Utilize “Poll Everywhere” and Twitter to insert live polls into your presentation. T/R class $95 Thu., March 12, 6:30-9:30 p.m. 912-644-5967. proftrainingtech@ georgiasouthern.edu. academics. georgiasouthern.edu/ce/programs/ personaldevelopment/microsoft/. cgc. georgiasouthern.edu/. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Mommy & Me Relaxation Class

Teaches techniques to face the physical, mental, and emotional changes of a new mother's body, mind and heart with poise and grace. a variety of relaxation techniques for mother and child. For

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FOR ALL OF YOUR TOBACCO NEEDS

e t S a t . L P n a e t’ p

O eekend & Day! s W Come enjoy drinks, snacks & good friends

Fine Cigars • E-cigs • Cigs • Loose Pipe Tobacco • Hookah • Glass

123 E. Congress St.

912-233-5448

www.redlighttobacco.com

(ACROSS FROM THE PINK HOUSE ON REYNOLDS SQUARE) MON-SAT 10AM-11PM SUN 12PM-10PM

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expecting and new moms as well as those with small children (4 and under). $15/ class or 6 classes for $50 (to be used within 2 months) Tuesdays, Thursdays, 10-11 a.m.. 912-544-6387. erigosavannah. com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street.

musicwarehouse.com/. Georgia Music Warehouse, 2424 Abercorn St.

Georgia Music Warehouse, near corner of Victory Drive & Abercorn, offering instruction by professional musicians. Band instruments, violin, piano, drums and guitar. All ages welcome. ongoing. 912-358-0054. georgiamusicwarehouse.com/. Georgia Music Warehouse, 2424 Abercorn St.

Polish Language Classes

Music Instruction

Music Lessons: Private or Group

Portman’s Music Academy offers private or group classes for ages 2 to 92, beginner to advanced level. All instruments. Also, voice lessons, music production technology and DJ lessons. Teaching staff of over 20 instructors with professional, well equipped studios. Fridays.. 912-354-1500. portmansmusic.com. portmansmusic. com. Portman's Music Superstore, 7650 Abercorn St. Music Lessons--Multiple Instruments

Savannah Musicians Institute offers private instruction for all ages in guitar, ddrums, piano, bass, voice, banjo, mandolin, ukelele, flute, woodwinds. 7041 Hodgson Memorial Dr. ongoing. 912-692-8055. smisavannah@gmail.com. New Horizons Adult Band Program

Music program for adults who played a band instrument in high school/college and would like to play again. Mondays at 6:30pm at Portman's. $30 per month. All ages and ability levels welcome. Call for info. ongoing. 912-354-1500. portmansmusic.com. Portman's Music Superstore, 7650 Abercorn St. New Mama's Club

A weekly Friday gathering of new moms and their babies. Practice baby & mom yoga, do a planned activity. Dream boards, affirmation writing, personalized aromatherapy and other projects. Fridays, 10 a.m.-noon. 912-704-7650. ann@douladeliveries.com. douladeliveries.com. erigosavannah.com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street. Novel Writing

Write a novel, finish the one you've started, revise it or pursue publication. Award-winning Savannah author offers one-on-one or small group classes, mentoring, manuscript critique, ebook formatting. Email for pricing and scheduling info. ongoing. pmasoninsavannah@gmail.com. Odd Lot Intro to Improv Class

Odd Lot presents Introduction to Improvisation. The session consists of 6 weekly classes and ends with an optional performance on March 13. $150 for full session, or $35 per class to drop in. Wednesdays, 7-9 p.m.. 912-484-2306. justin@oddlot.org. Guild Hall, 615 Montgomery Street. Photography Classes

Beginner photography to post production. Instruction for all levels. $20 for two-hour class. See website for complete class list. 410-251-4421. chris@chrismorrisphotography.com. chrismorrisphotography.com. Piano Lessons

Piano lessons with a classically trained instructor, with theater and church experi54 ence. 912-312-3977. ongoing. georgia-

Piano Voice-Coaching

Pianist with M/degree,classical modern jazz improvisation, no age limit. Call 912-961-7021 or 912-667-1056. Serious inquiries only. ongoing. The lessons are for beginners and open to anyone interested in learning the Polish language. Taught by Andrew Boguszewski. Reservations required. $25 Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m.. 912-401-5861. St James Catholic Church, 8412 Whitfield Ave.

Project Management - Real World Applications

Discover a documented step-by-step guideline for managing projects. Students will be exposed to a wide variety of strategic and real world scenarios. $1300 Thu., March 12, 6-9 p.m. 912-644-5967. professionaltraining@georgiasouthern.edu. academics.georgiasouthern.edu/ce/programs/ professionaldevelopment/projectmanagement/. cgc.georgiasouthern.edu/. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Reading/Writing Tutoring

Ms. Dawn’s Tutoring in reading, writing, and composition. Remedial reading skills, help with borderline dyslexia, to grammar, term paper writing, and English as a Second Language. Fun methods for children to help them learn quickly. 912-660-7399. cordraywriter@gmail.com.

($12.95). Instructor: Bertha E. Hernandez, M.Ed. and native speaker. Meets in the Keller Williams Realty meeting room, 329 Commercial Drive. Tuesdays.. conquistador-spanish.com. Stress Reduction: Arising Stillness in Zen

Stress-reducing practices for body, speech and mind. Five Thursday night classes from 6- 7:00pm. $15 drop-in; $70 for series. Rev. Fugon Cindy Beach, Sensei. Savannah Zen Center 111 E. 34th St. 31401 revfugon@gmail.com ongoing. Vocal Lessons

A group of voice instructors who believe in the power of a nurturing community to help voice students blossom into vibrant artists. Each instructor holds a Masters of Music in Voice Performance. Group classes held once a month, plus an annual recital. Varies Wednesdays.. 912-656-0760. TheVoiceCoOp.org. The Voice Co-op, Downtown. Voice Lessons - Technique and Coaching

Experienced and successful voice instructor is accepting students. Nurturing, accepting, and collaborative studio. Services offered include strengthening the voice, range extension, relaxation techniques, and coaching through various styles of music. Audition and competition preparation. Varies Mondays-Saturdays, 8 a.m.-8 p.m. 912-484-0628. Downtown Savannah, downtown.

Clubs & Organizations Learn to speak Russian. All experience 13th Colony Sound Barbershop Chorus levels welcome, beginner to expert. Call for Sing in the harmonious barbershop style with the Savannah Chorus of the Barberinfo. ongoing. 912-713-2718. Session II Winter/Spring Visual Arts Classes shop Harmony Society. No charge Monand Workshops days, 6:30 p.m.. 912-344-9768. rfksav@ The City of Savannah Department of gmail.com. savannahbarbershoppers.org. Cultural Affairs is now registering students Savannah Arts Academy, 500 Washington for its winter/spring visual arts classes Ave. and workshops Session II. Day and evening Abeni Cultural Arts Dance Classes sessions are offered for children, teens and Classses for multiple ages in performance adults in all skill levels. Sessions begin the dance and adult fitness dance. African, modern, ballet, jazz, tap, contemporary, week of March 2 and run through March gospel. Held at Abeni Cultural Arts studio, 28. Four week classes are available, as 8400-B Abercorn St. Call Muriel, 912-631well as weekend workshops. Visual arts 3452, or Darowe, 912-272-2797. ongoing. sessions include ceramics, metals and abeniculturalarts@gmail.com. glass. New offerings include balloon belly birdhouse, kite making, intermediate met- Avegost LARP Live action role playing group that exists in alsmithing, and surface design & decals on clay. Every 5 days. 912-651-6783. City of a medieval fantasy realm. generallly meets Savannah Department of Cultural Affairs, 9 the second weekend of the month. Free for your first event or if you're a non-player West Henry St. Sewing Classes character. $35 fee for returning characters. For beginners or advanced sewers. Indus- ongoing. godzillaunknown@gmail.com. try standard sewing courses designed to avegost.com. Buccaneer Region SCCA meet standards in the garment industry. Local chapter of the Sports Car Club of Open schedule. Savannah Sewing Academy. 1917 Bull St. Sundays.. 912-290-0072. America, hosting monthly solo/autocross driving events in the Savannah area. Anysavsew.com. Singing Classes one with a safe car, insurance and a valid Bel Canto is a singing style which helps the driver's license is eligible to participate. voice become flexible and expressive, imSee website. ongoing. buccaneerregion. proves vocal range and breathing capacity. org. Business Networking on the Islands A foundation for opera, rock, pop, gospel and musical theatre. $25 Mondays, 6 p.m.. Small Business Professionals Islands Networking Group meets first Thursday 786-247-9923. anitraoperadiva@yahoo. each month, 9:30am-10:30am. Tradewinds com. Institute of Cinematic Arts, 12 West Ice Cream & Coffee, 107 Charlotte Rd. Call State Street, 3rd and 4th flrs.,. Spanish Classes for info. ongoing. 912-308-6768. Spanish courses for professionals ofDrop N Circle Craft Night Sponsored by The Frayed Knot and Perlina. fered by Conquistador Spanish Language Tuesdays, 5pm-8pm. 6 W. State Street. A Institute, LLC. Beginner Spanish for Professionals--Intro price $155 + textbook working gathering of knitters, crocheters, Russian Language Classes

beaders, spinners, felters, needle pointers, etc. All levels of experience welcome. Tuesdays.. 912-233-1240. Exchange Club of Savannah - Weekly Lunch

Meets every Monday (except on the fifth Monday of the month), 12pm-1pm. Weekly speaker, and honor a student of the month and year, police officer and fireman of the year. Charities: Jenkins Boys & Girls Club; Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse. Guest are welcome Mondays, 12-1 p.m.. 912-441-6559. Savannahexchange.org. Exchange Club of Savannah, 4801 Meding Street. Fiber Guild of the Savannahs

A club focusing on weaving, spinning, basket making, knitting, crocheting, quilting, beading, rug hooking, doll making, and other fiber arts. Meets at Oatland Island Wildlife Center, first Saturday of the month (Sept.-June) 10:15am. Mondays, 10:30 a.m. fiberguildsavannah.homestead. com/. Fiber Guild of the Savannahs, 711 Sandtown Road GA. Historic Flight Savannah

A non-profit organization dedicated to sending area Korean War and WWII veterans to Washington, DC, to visit the WWII Memorial. All expenses paid by Honor Flight Savannah. Honor Flight seeks contributions, and any veterans interested in a trip to Washington. Call for info. ongoing. 912-596-1962. honorflightsavannah.org. Historic Savannah Chapter: ABWA

Meets the second Thursday of every month from 6pm-7:30pm. Tubby's Tank House, 2909 River Drive, Thunderbolt. Attendees pay for their own meals. RSVP by phone. ongoing. 912-660-8257. Ink Slingers Writing Group

A free creative writing group for writers of poetry, prose, or undefinable creative ventures. Meets every other Wednesday. Discussion of exercises, ideas, or already in progress pieces. See Facebook page savinkslingers. Every other Wednesday.. foxyloxycafe.com/. Foxy Loxy Cafe, 1919 Bull St. Island MOMSnext

For mothers of school-aged children, grades K-12. Mothering support, personal growth, practical help, and spiritual hope. First and third Mondays. Childcare on request. A ministry of MOPS International. third Monday of every month.. 912-8984344. kymmccarty@hotmail.com. mops. org. Islands MOPS

A Mothers of Preschoolers group that meets two Wednesdays a month, 9:15am-11:30am. Wednesdays.. sites. google.com/site/islandsmops. fbcislands.com/. First Baptist Church of the Islands, 6613 Johnny Mercer Blvd. Knitters, Needlepoint and Crochet

Meets every Wednesday. Different locations downtown. Call for info. No fees. Want to learn? Join us. ongoing. 912-308-6768. Knittin’ Night

Knit and crochet gathering held each Tuesday evening, 5pm-8pm All skill levels welcome. Tuesdays, 5-8 p.m. 912238-0514. wildfibresavannah.com/. Wild Fibre, 409 East Liberty St. Low Country Turners

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A club for wood-turning enthusiasts. Call Steve Cook for info at number below. ongoing. 912-313-2230. Military Order of the Purple Heart Ladies Auxiliary

Meets the first Saturday of the month at 1:00pm. Call for info. ongoing. 912-7864508. American Legion Post 184, 3003 Rowland Ave. Philo Cafe

Discussion group that meets every Monday, 7:30pm - 9:00pm at various locations. Anyone craving good conversation is invited. Free to attend. Email for info, or see Facebook.com/SavannahPhiloCafe. Mondays. athenapluto@yahoo.com. R.U.F.F. - Retirees United for the Future

RUFF meets the last Friday of each month at 10am to protect Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and related senior issues. Parking in the rear. Free to all Seniors ongoing. 912-344-5127. New Covenant Church, 2201 Bull St. Rogue Phoenix Sci-Fi Fantasy Club

A local club for role-players, gamers, and fans from all over the sci-fi /fantasy universe. Meetings on the 3rd Tuesday of each month at Super King Buffet 10201 Abercorn St., Savannah at 7PM. third Tuesday of every month.. 912-308-2094. kasak@comcast.net. roguephoenix.org.

by email for info. ongoing. charlesfund@ gmail.com. panerabread.com/. Panera Bread (Broughton St.), 1 West Broughton St.

A dinner meeting every 4th Tuesday of the month at 6:00 pm at local restaurants. 3rd Tuesday in November; none in December. For dinner reservations, please call Sybil Cannon at 912-964-5366. ongoing. 912748-7020. savannahnavyleague.us. Beginner classes Tuesdays and Thursdays for six weeks. $60. Some equipment provided. After completing the class, join the Savannah Fencing Club; $5/month. Experienced fencers welcome. Tuesdays, Thursdays.. 912-429-6918. savannahfencing@aol.com.

Helps improve speaking and leadership skills in a friendly, supportive environment. Mondays, 6:15pm, Memorial Health University Medical Center, in the Conference Room C. ongoing. 912-484-6710. memorialhealth.com/. Memorial Health University Medical Center, 4700 Waters Ave.

Savannah Fencing Club

Savannah Go Green

Meets most Saturdays. Green events and places. Share ways to Go Green each day. Call for info. ongoing. 912-308-6768. Savannah Kennel Club

Monthly meetings open to the public the 4th Monday each month, Sept. through June. ongoing, 7 p.m. savannahkennelclub. org. barnesrestaurant.com. Barnes Restaurant, 5320 Waters Avenue. Savannah Newcomers Club

Savannah Brewers' League

Savannah Authors Autonomous Writing Group

Beach, Buffet and no dress code. Check website for events calendar or send an email for Parrot Head gatherings. ongoing. savannahphc@yahoo.com. savannahphc. com.

A coalition dedicated to preventing childhood injuries. Meets 2nd Tuesday each month, 11:30am-1:00pm. See website or call for info. ongoing. 912-353-3148. safekidssavannah.org. Meets 1st Wednesday of the month, 7:30pm at Moon River Brewing Co. Call or see website for info. ongoing. 912-4470943. hdb.org. moonriverbrewing.com/. Moon River Brewing Co., 21 West Bay St.

Meets 1st and 3rd Tuesdays each month. Prose--fiction and non fiction. Discussion, constructive criticism, instruction, exercises and examples. Location: Charles Brown Antiques/Fine Silver, 14 W. Jones St. All are welcome. No charge. third Tuesday of every month.. 912-308-3208. alicevantrease@live.com. Savannah Charlesfunders Investment Discussion Group

Savannah Story Games

A group that plays games that tell improvised stories. Create an amazing story in just three hours, using group games with special rules that craft characters, settings, and conflicts. Sundays at 6pm. free Saturdays, 6 p.m.. info@savannahstorygames.com. savannahstorygames.com. Guild Hall, 615 Montgomery Street.

Savannah Council, Navy League of the United States

Open to women who have lived in the Savannah area for less than two years. Membership includes monthly luncheon and program. Activities, tours and events to help learn about Savannah and make new friends. ongoing. savannahnewcomersclub.com.

Safe Kids Savannah

in re-creating the Middle Ages and Renaissance. Free Saturdays, 11 a.m.. savannahsca.org. Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St.

Savannah Toastmasters

Savannah Veggies and Vegans

Join the Facebook group to find out more about vegetarian and vegan lifestyles, and to hear about upcoming local events. Mondays. Spies and Mysteries Book Club

A book club for readers who love thrillers, spy novels, and mysteries. We meet every 2nd Thurs of the month @6:30 pm. None second Thursday of every month, 6:30 p.m. 912-925-8305. Southwest Chatham Library, 14097 Abercorn St. Tertulia en español at Foxy Loxy

Spanish conversation table. Meets second and fourth Thursday of each month. 7:30pm to 9pm at Foxy Loxy, 1919 Bull

street. All levels welcome. Free. Purchase beverages and snacks. second Thursday of every month.. foxyloxycafe.com/. Foxy Loxy Cafe, 1919 Bull St. Thomas Square Book Club

Book Club meets on the 2nd Wed. of the month at 10am in the Thomas Square Neighborhood. Review your favorite fiction read of the month in a casual setting. Call for location 912-344-1734. second Wednesday of every month.. 912-344-1734. Downtown Savannah, downtown. Vietnam Veterans of America Chapter 671

Meets second Monday of each month, 7pm, at the American Legion Post 135, 1108 Bull St. ongoing. 912-429-0940. rws521@msn.com. vvasav.com.

Woodville-Tompkins Scholarship Foundation

Meets second Tuesday each month (except October) 6:00pm, Woodville-Tompkins, 151 Coach Joe Turner St. Call or email for info. ongoing. 912-232-3549. chesteraellis@ comcast.net. Comedy

Churchill's Pub Stand Up for Kids Comedy Competition PICKJohnny Mercer Theatre Lewis Black: The Rant is Due Part Deux Martin Luther King Jr Arena continues on p. 56

Savannah Parrot Head Club

Savannah Quilt Guild

Meets second Saturday, 9:30am-11:30am. Social time, business meeting and program. September through June, at Woods of Savannah, 1764-C Hodgson Memorial. Membership: $25/year. second Saturday of every month.. (912) 598-9977. savannahquiltguild@comcast.net.

Open now they are... check them out you must!

Society for Creative Anachronism

Meets every Saturday at the south end Meets Saturdays, 8:30am to discuss of Forsyth Park for fighter practice and stocks, bonds and better investing. Contact general hanging out. For people interested

RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE PLANNING.

Hookahs • Vapes • Incense Glass Pendants • Local Art

11215 Abercorn St. Suite 4

(Between Tailgate Bar & Tangerine) Visit www.plannedparenthood.org/ppse for more info.

912.436.6338

“Solve Like a Pirate” –and sound like one, too. by matt Jones | Answers on page 58

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Savannah Comedy Festival Concerts

13th Colony Sound (Barbershop Singing)

“If you can carry a tune, come sing with us!” Mondays, 7pm. ongoing. 912-3449768. savannahbarbershoppers.org. Thunderbolt Lodge #693, 3111 Rowland Ave. Concert: Gil "Bop" Benson

The Coastal Jazz Association presents Gil "Bop" Benson, a New Jersey native with a long career as a jazz trumpeter, vocalist and educator. He'll be accompanied by Norm Gagne, Mitch Hennes, and Billy Hoffman. $20 Sun., March 15, 5 p.m. coastaljazz.org. byrdcookie.com. B Tillman, 6700 Waters Avenue. Concert: Stephen Brown

Award-winning pianist Stephen Brown practices commercial law in Savannah while maintaining preeminence as a superb concert artist. In this concert, he will perform over an hour of piano works from various periods. $15 in advance, $20 at the door Sat., March 14, 4-5:15 p.m. 912-2340980. music@uusavannah.org. uusavannah.org. Unitarian Universalist Church of Savannah, 313 Harris St. Concert: The Goliards

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1 Cavatappi and capellini 7 Poe title word 10 Rejections 13 Detach, in a way 14 “Free Willy” creature 15 Decide (for) 16 The color of believing you can fly? 18 Dead heat 19 Airline since 1948 20 Drags 21 Stood 23 Flag thrower 24 Extreme 25 Not often 27 Garfield’s call when Jon has fallen? 30 Come from behind 33 “Get away, stranger!” (from a cat) 34 “Transformers” director Michael 35 “Y” wearers 36 Hit 38 Harrowing 39 Meadow sound 40 Epps of “Resurrection” 41 Feeling of insecurity 42 Creature surrounded by bamboo and other trees? 46 Bathroom buildup 47 1963 Paul Newman movie 48 “___ with Lovin’” (McDonald’s promo of February 2015) 51 Free-for-all 52 Utah city

54 Formally give up 55 Mean Amin 56 Food advertised with the line: “Keep on Truckin’... and Snackin’”? 59 Took a chair 60 Story 61 It’s west of the Urals 62 Muddy home 63 Word before Spice or Navy 64 Turns back to 00000

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1 Less contaminated 2 Foot holder 3 Wheat amount 4 Driving money 5 “You’ve Got Mail” company 6 1970s space station 7 Media packet 8 “Riunite on ___, Riunite so nice” 9 Comb challenges 10 Comfortably sized 11 Conflicts in China 12 Instructions part 14 Nonprofit’s URL suffix 17 Knowledgeable sort 22 Like unmatched socks 24 Make onion rings 26 Apart from that 27 Ice Bucket Challenge cause, for short 28 Bird sound 29 Turgenev’s turndown 30 2000s sitcom set in Texas 31 Worried by

32 It’s no asset 36 “Peter Pan” role 37 Tears for Fears hit redone for “Donnie Darko” 38 Evidence with a twist? 40 Demand that someone will 41 Hit the plus button 43 “Bravissimo!’ 44 Throat clearing sound 45 Three or five, but not threeve 48 Gunpowder alternative 49 Expert 50 Positive feedback 51 Word before any U.S. state 53 Wish you could take back 54 Lightning McQueen’s movie 57 Ironman Ripken 58 Maestro’s signal

and hurdy gurdy), Anne Durant (harp) and John Hillenbrand (vielles and baroque violin). The program will contain some of the most ancient surviving Celtic music as well as songs and airs by Ireland's great composer, Turlough O'Carolan. Donations accepted Sun., March 15, 3 p.m. 912-4959081. Bethesda Academy, 9250 Ferguson Ave. New York City's TENET

New York's preeminent vocal ensemble will perform a special tribute to the music of Carlo Gesualdo from the Renaissance age. Tenet has been heralded my music critics at the NY Times and THE NEW YORKER. This concert is a true treat for Savannah audiences! Free but donations are kindly accepted Sun., March 15, 3-4 p.m. 912-598-7242. tmckee@stpeterssav. org. stpeterssav.org. stpeterssavannah. org. St. Peter's Episcopal Church, 3 West Ridge Road. Recital: James Richardson

Part of Pipe Organ Week. Thu., March 12, noon. Independent Presbyterian Church, Bull Street and Oglethorpe Ave. Recital: Kyle Ballantine

Wed., March 11, noon. First Baptist Church of Savannah, 223 Bull St. Recital: Monica Alexandra Harper

Part of Pipe Organ Week. Sat., March 14, noon. wesleymonumental.org/. Wesley Monumental United Methodist Church, 429 Abercorn St. Recital: Stephen Donner

Part of Pipe Organ Week. Fri., March 13,

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6:30 p.m. stjohnssav.org/. St. John’s Episcopal Church, 1 West Macon Street.

Savannah Philharmonic: Chamber Concert No. 5 - Shostakovich and Brahms Sonatas

Brahms' Sonata for cello and piano in E minor Op. 38; and Shostakovich's Sonata for cello and piano in D minor Op. 40. For piano and cello. $20 Sat., March 14, 5 p.m. savannahphilharmonic.org. Ascension Lutheran Church, 120 Bull St. Dance

Adult Ballet Class

Maxine Patterson School of Dance, 2212 Lincoln St, offers adult ballet on Thursdays, 6:30pm-7:30pm $12 per class. Call for info. ongoing. 912-234-8745. Adult Intermediate Ballet

Mondays and Wednesdays, 7pm-8pm. $12/class or $90/8 classes. Call for info. Academy of Dance, 74 W. Montgomery Crossroad. Wednesdays. 912-921-2190. Beginner and intermediate ballet, modern dance, barre fusion, barre core body sculpt, gentle stretch & tone. Tuesdays.. 912-925-0903. theballetschoolsav.com. Ballet School, 10010 Abercorn St. Argentine Tango

Lessons Sundays 1:30-3;30pm. Open to the public. $3 per person. Wear closed toe leather shoes if possible. Doris Martin Dance Studio, 8511-h ferguson Ave. Call or email for info. ongoing. 912-925-7416. savh_tango@yahoo.com. Argentine Tango Basics Group Class

This beginners group class will focus

on the basic elements of movement and Argentine Tango. This class is a 4 week session that will start from week 1 and progress while reviewing each week until week 4. No partner or experience required. $35 Wednesdays, 6-7 p.m.. 912.312.3549. salondebaile.dance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive.

“Know Now!” —and now you know. by matt Jones | Answers on page 61

Awaken with Chakradance™

A free-flowing, meditative dance, with eclectic music selected to resonate with each specific chakra, along with guided imagery. No dance experience or chakras knowledge needed. $20 ongoing, 7-8:30 p.m. 912-663-1306. Chakradancer@ comcast.net. chakradance.com/. synergisticbodies.com. Synergistic Bodies, 7901 Waters Ave. Ballroom Group Dance Class

Weekly ballroom dance classes focus on two types of dance each month. Open to partners/couples or to solos. The $35 for 4 weeks or $10 drop in Mondays, 7 p.m. 912.312.3549. reservetodance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Ballroom Series Group Class

A group ballroom dance class for beginners through advanced. Rumba, Swing, Tango, Foxtrot, Waltz, Cha Cha, Samba, and more. Singles or couples. $10.00 per person or $35 for 4 weeks (per person)

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1 Go out 4 Faddish 1990s collectibles 8 Hawke of “Boyhood” 13 Bovine opinion 14 “Head Like ___” (NIN song) 15 A nephew of Donald 16 AM drinks 17 Looked longingly 18 Checkout line count 19 Comedian Garofalo gives negative feedback? 22 Least tropical 23 Execute perfectly 24 Topeka residents provide instructions? 30 “This ___” (1979 hit) 31 One of The Judds 32 Schnitzel stuff 36 “South Park” surname 39 Period of silence 40 Appearance at home? 42 2010 Apple release 44 Brew inspired by a fictional search engine on “The Good Wife”? 50 Not quite the leader 51 Yuletide refrain 53 Grammy category for five-year-olds? 57 “Beer Barrel” dance 58 Actor ___ William Scott 59 “Get it, man?” 60 Herb in pesto sauce 61 “All My Children” femme fatale 62 Prefix before brow

63 Needed a bath badly 64 40-yard race 65 Longfellow contemporary

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1 Modern pictograph 2 “___ Horseman” (title character voiced by Will Arnett) 3 1990s conflict site 4 Imaginary figure 5 Move like The Blob 6 “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” singer Campbell 7 Car styles 8 Slurred speech? 9 All-out battle 10 A nephew of Donald 11 Uses a scope 12 “Dr. Mario” platform 14 “Open” author Andre 20 Ending for Hallow 21 “Boo-___!” 25 “Boiler Room” co-star Long 26 Reduce to essentials 27 Work the soil 28 Chanted syllables 29 Comedian’s forte 32 “Wet/dry” buy 33 Shakespearean suffix 34 “Aladdin” monkey 35 Glove material 37 Detox place 38 Size for some margins 41 Daytime fare with Sharon Osbourne 43 Troi on “Star Trek:

TNG” 45 Sport-___ (4WD vehicle) 46 Gathered in a crowd 47 “Solve for x” subj. 48 Bedridden 49 Bad weather culprit, sometimes 52 Texas A&M player 53 Junk or dinghy 54 “Let It Go” singer 55 Giga- times a thousand 56 Je ne ___ quoi 57 “Downton Abbey” airer

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Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.. 912.312.3549. reservetodance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive.

gently used or new clothing are welcomed. Free and open to the public. Sundays, 3 p.m. 912-547-6449. xavris21@yahoo.com. Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St.

Group classes every Tuesday and Wednesday at 8pm. Tuesdays focus on fundamental steps, styling, and techniques. Wednesday's classes are more specific, with advanced elements. $15/person and $25/couple Wednesdays, 8 p.m. and Tuesdays.. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@ gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing. com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street.

Learn to dance Salsa & Bachata. For info, call Austin (912-704-8726) or Omar (Spanish - 787-710-6721). Thursdays. 912-7048726. salsa@salsasavannah.com. salsasavannah.com. Great Gatsby, 408 West Broughton Street.

Ballroom/Latin Group Class

Beginner's Belly Dance Classes

Learn basic moves and choreography with local Belly Dancer, Nicole Edge. Class is open to all ages and skill levels. Walk-ins welcome. 15.00 Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. 912596-0889. edgebelly@gmail.com. edgebellydance.com. Fitness on Broughton, 1 E. Broughton St. Beginners Belly Dance Classes

Instructed by Nicole Edge. All ages/Skill levels welcome. Sundays, 12pm-1pm. Fitness body and balance studio. 2127 1//2 E. Victory Dr. $15/class or $48/hour. Call or see website. ongoing. 912-596-0889. cairoonthecoast.com. Beginners Belly Dancing with Cybelle

For those with little-to-no dance background. Instructor is formally trained, has performed for over ten years. $15/person. Tues. 7pm-8pm. Private classes and walk ins available. Synergistic Bodies, 7724 Waters Ave. ongoing. 912-414-1091. info@ cybelle3.com. cybelle3.com. Happenstance Bellydance

All levels and styles of bellydance welcome. Classes every Monday, 5:30-6:30pm. Drop-ins welcome. $15/lesson Mondays, 5:30 p.m.. (912) 704-2940. happenstancebellydance@gmail.com. happenstancebellydance.wordpress.com. Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Suite B. C.C. Express Dance Team

Wednesdays, 6pm-8pm. Clogging or tap dance experience is necessary. Call Claudia Collier for info. ongoing. 912-7480731. Windsor Forest Recreation Building, Windsor Forest. Dance for Peace

A weekly gathering to benefit locals in need. Music, dancing, fun for all ages. Donations of nonperishable food and

Crossword Answers

Dance Lessons (Salsa, Bachata)

Dance Party

Dance on Thursdays at 8pm--fun, friendship, and dancing. Free for Savannah Ballroom students. $10 for visitors ($15 for couples). free - $15 Thursdays, 8 p.m. 912335-3335. savannahballroom@gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing.com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. Disco Hustle Dance Class

Do the hustle! A New York style Disco Hustle group class taught by Jos'eh Marion, a professional ballroom dance instructor. Sundays at 5pm. Call for pricing. Sundays, 5 p.m.. 843-290-6174. Trudancer@gmail. com. ymcaofcoastalga.org/. YMCA (Habersham Branch), 6400 Habersham St.

Line Dancing

Take down Tuesdays. Jazzy Sliders Adult Line Dancing, every Tuesday, 7:30pm10:00pm. Free admission, cash bar. Come early and learn a new dance from 7:30pm8:30pm. ongoing. doublesnightclub.com/. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Mahogany Shades of Beauty

Dance classes - hip hop, modern, jazz, West African, ballet, lyrical and step. Modeling and acting classes. All ages/levels welcome. Call Mahogany for info. ongoing. 912-272-8329. Modern Dance Class

Beginner and intermediate classes. Fridays 10am-11:15am. Doris Martin Studio, Lake Mayer is offering free dance and fit7360 Skidaway Rd. Call Elizabeth for info. ness classes for all ages every Thursday, in ongoing. 912-354-5586. Old Time Country Dance the Community Center. 9:30 am and 10:30 am is the "Little Movers" class for toddlers. Savannah Folk Music Society presents this dance with music by Glow In The Dark. 12:00 pm Lunch Break Fitness. 1:30 pm Super Seniors. 5:30 pm youth hip hop. 6:30 Sat., March 14, 7:30 p.m. notredamesav. org. Notre Dame Academy, 1709 Bull St. pm Adult African Fitness. FREE ongoing, 9:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. 912-652-6780. sdavis@ Salsa Lessons by Salsa Savannah Tues. 8pm-9pm and 9pm-10pm. Thur. chathamcounty.org. Lake Mayer, 1850 E. 8pm-9pm and 9pm-10pm. Sun. 5pmMontgomery Crossroads. FUNdamentals Dance Lesson 6pm and 6pm-7pm. Salon de Maile, 704B Group dance lessons every Tuesday and Hodgson Memorial Dr., Savannah, 31406. Wednesday at 8pm. Tuesday: fundamental Tuesdays.. salsasavannah.com. Salsa Night steps, styling, and techniques. WednesCome and shake it to the best latin grooves day: advanced elements. $15/person $25/ and bachata the night away in Pooler couple Tuesdays, 8 p.m. and Wednesdays, 8 p.m.. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@ where it's cooler. Wednesdays, 8-11 p.m. 912-988-1052. medi.tavern314@gmail. gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing. com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 com. Mediterranean Tavern, 125 Foxfield Way. Travis Street. Free Dance Thursdays at Lake Mayer

Home Cookin' Cloggers

Wednesdays, 6pm-8pm, Nassau Woods Recreation Building, Dean Forest Road. No beginner classes at this time. Call Claudia Collier for info. ongoing. 912-748-0731. Irish Dance Classes

Glor na Dare offers beginner to champion Irish Dance classes for ages 5 and up. Adult Step & Ceili, Strength and Flexibility, non-competitive and competitive programs, workshops, camps. Certified. Wednesdays.. 912-704-2052. prideofirelandga@gmail.com. Kids/Youth Dance Class

Kids Group class on various Ballroom and Latin dances. Multiple teachers. Ages 4-17 currently enrolled in the program. Prepares youth for social and/or competitive dancing. $15/person Saturdays, 10 a.m. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@ gmail.com. savannahballroomdancing. com. Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. LaBlast- Dance Fitness designed by Louis Van Amstel from DWTS

combines a wide variety of ballroom dance styles and music genres. Do the Cha Cha Cha, Disco, Jive, Merengue, Salsa and Samba set to everything from pop and rock to hip-hop and country â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and burn fat and blast calories! No experience and no partner necessary. $15.00 drop in or 10 classes for $80.00 Mondays, 6-7 p.m. and Fridays, 10-11 a.m. 912.312.3549. reservetodance@ gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive.

Created by world renowned dancer and ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" professional, Louis Van Amstel, LaBlast uniquely

Savannah Shag Club

Wednesdays, 7pm,at Doubles Lounge. Fridays, 7pm, at American Legion Post 36, 2309 E. Victory Dr. ongoing. doublesnightclub.com/. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Savannah Swing Cats--Swing Dancing

ongoing. doublesnightclub.com/. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Sizzle: Dance and Cardio

A class designed to maintain that summer body by dancing and having fun. Incorporates dance and cardio to fun, spicy songs. $10 drop in or 10 classes for $80 Tuesdays, Fridays, 10 a.m. 912-312-3549. reservetodance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. West Coast Swing Class

Instructor Rick Cody teaches the smooth rhythms of beach music and west coast swing. $12 drop in fee or $35 for 4 weeks Wednesdays, 7 p.m.. 912.312.3549. salondebaile.dance@gmail.com. salondebailedancestudio.com. Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive.

Food Events

Hilton Head Island Wine + Food Festival

The 30th anniversary of the Hilton Head Wine + Food Festival is presented by The Sea Pines Resort and will offer an impressive line-up of world-class vineyards, local and regional celebrity chefs, culinary experiences, live entertainment and an array of visual and performing artists. The John and Valerie Curry Educational Scholarship funds have been donated to students at USCB and TCL majoring in Hospitality Management. The money received from the Grand Tasting and Public Tasting Silent Auctions support the scholarship fund. Prices vary per event Through March 15. (843) 722.5908. margaret@thereynoldsgroup.com. hiltonheadwineandfood.com/ index. Sea Pines Country Club, 30 Governors Road. Wilmington Island Farmers Market

Vendors offer fresh produce, baked goods, honey, meats, poultry, granola, coffee, pasta, pecans, popsicles, ice cream, kettle corn, canned goods, body products, herbs, plants. Events also include story time, a musical guest, and other special guests. Free 9 a.m.-1 p.m.. wifarmersmarketpr@ aol.com. wifarmersmarket.org. Wilmington Island Farmers' Market, 111 Walthour Rd @ Islands Community Church. St. Patrick's Day Kid Craft

Come and make a healthy green treat with Healthy Eating Educator Jesse in the cafe. FREE March 16, 4:30-5:30 p.m. 912.358.5829. jesse.rosenblum@wholefoods.com. Whole Foods Market, 1821 East Victory Drive. Forsyth Farmers Market

Local and regional produce, honey, meat, dairy, pasta, baked goods and other delights. Rain or shine. Free to attend. Items for sale. 912-484-0279. forsythfarmersmarket.com. Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Honey Tasting and Body Care Samples + Store Tour

Daily store tour, honey tasting, and body care. FREE Come to the WILMINGTON ISLAND store and see the bees behind our observation hive glass. FREE Mondays-Fridays, 10 a.m. 912-234-0688. tildsley@savannahbee.com. Savannah Bee Company, Wilmington Island, 211 Johnny Mercer Blvd. Prepare Sunday Suppers at Union Mission

Local organizations are invited to sign up to prepare Sunday Supper for people who are homeless and live at Union Mission's shelters for homeless people. Groups must sign up in advance and bring/prepare a meal, beginning at 2pm on Sundays. Call for information. ongoing. 912-236-7423. Health

Armstrong Prescription Drug Drop-Off

Armstrong Atlantic State Univ. hosts a permanent drop box for disposing of unused prescription drugs and over the counter medication. In the lobby of the University Police building on campus. Open to the public 24 hours/day, year round. Confidential. All items collected are destroyed by the Drug Enforcement

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Administration. ongoing. 912-344-3333. armstrong.edu. about.armstrong.edu/ Maps/index.html. Armstrong State University, 11935 Abercorn St.

912.358.5829. FREE Thu., March 12, 7-8 p.m. 912.358.5829. jesse.rosenblum@ wholefoods.com. Whole Foods Market, 1821 East Victory Drive.

Information on bariatric surgery and the program at Memorial Health Bariatrics. Learn surgical procedures offered, support and education programs involved, and how bariatric surgery can affect patients' lives. Call or see website for info. Free to attend. Hoskins Center at Memorial. Free ongoing, 6 p.m. 912-350-3438. bariatrics.memorialhealth.com. memorialhealth.com/. Memorial Health University Medical Center, 4700 Waters Ave.

What everyone ought to know about our drinking water (bottled, tap, distilled, reverse osmosis, filtered, alkaline and spring.) Are you paying thousands of money for water that is making you sick? Find out what water is best for your body. FREE Tuesdays, 7-8:15 p.m. 703-989-6995. oggisavannah@gmail.com. Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Suite B.

Bariatric Surgery Information Session

Free Enrollment Help for Medicaid and PeachCare

Parents can find the help they need to renew or sign up their children (ages 0-19) on Medicaid or PeachCare. Enrollment Assisters will work with clients through the process. Free and open to the public. Mondays, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. and Wednesdays, 1-5 p.m.. 912-356-2887. Chatham County Health Department, 1395 Eisenhower Drive (facing Sallie Mood Dr.). Free Hearing and Speech Screening

Hearing: Thursdays, 9am-11am. Speech: First Thursdays,. Call or see website for times. ongoing. 912-355-4601. savannahspeechandhearing.org. savannahspeechandhearing.org/. Savannah Speech and Hearing Center, 1206 E 66th St. Free HIV Testing at Chatham County Health Dept.

Free walk-in HIV testing. 8am-4pm Mon.Fri. No appointment needed. Test results in 20 minutes. Follow-up visit and counseling will be set up for anyone testing positive. Call for info. ongoing. 912-6445217. Chatham County Health Dept., 1395 Eisenhower Dr. Health Care for Uninsured People

Open for primary care for uninsured residents of Chatham County. Mon.-Fri., 8:30am-3:30pm. Call for info or appointment. ongoing. 912-443-9409. St. Joseph's/Candler--St. Mary's Health Center, 1302 Drayton St. Health Starts Here Healthy Eating Tour

Join Jesse, Healthy Eating Educator, on a store tour focusing on the 4 Pillars of Healthy Eating. Space is limited, so please reserve your place by e-mailing jesse. rosenblum@wholefoods.com or calling

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912-544-0026

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Know Your Water

ONLY 2 MILES FROM DOWNTOWN

La Leche League of Savannah

A breast feeding support group for new/ expectant monthers. Meeting/gathering first Thursdays, 10am. Call or see website for location and other info. ongoing. 912897-9544. lllusa.org/web/savannahga. html. Live to Be 100 and Beyond

Discover the secrets of the longest living population on Earth and find out how you can adopt their lifestyle to give yourself a longer and better quality of life. The group will also explore the connection between heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and obesity. Tue., March 17, 6 p.m. 912-598-8457. jeff@heartbeatsforlife-ga.org. Southwest Chatham Library, 14097 Abercorn St. Living Smart Fitness Club

An exercise program encouraging healthy lifestyle changes. Mon. & Wed. 6pm7:15pm Hip Hop low impact aerobics at

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LARGE MENT

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Free will astrology

by Rob brezsny | beautyandtruth@freewillastrology.com

ARIES

March 21-April 19

In the old Superman comics, Mister Mxyztplk was a fiendish imp whose home was in the fifth dimension. He sometimes sneaked over into our world to bedevil the Man of Steel with pranks. There was one sure way he could be instantly banished back to his own realm for a long time: If Superman fooled him into saying his own name backwards. You might think it would be hard to trick a magic rascal into saying “Klptzyxm” when he knew very well what the consequences would be, but Superman usually succeeded. I’d like to suggest that you have a similar power to get rid of a bugaboo that has been bothering you, Aries. Don’t underestimate your ability to outsmart the pest.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

In 1637, mathematician Pierre de Fermat declared that he had solved the “Last Theorem,” a particularly knotty mathematical problem. Unfortunately, he never actually provided the proof that he had done so. The mystery remained. Other math experts toiled for centuries looking for the answer. It wasn’t until 1994, more than 350 years later, that anyone succeeded. I think you are on the verge of discovering a possible solution to one of your own long-running riddles, Taurus. It may take a few more weeks, but you’re almost there. Can you sense that twinkle in your third eye? Keep the faith.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

York clubs. To accompany his vocals, he played an acoustic guitar and harmonica. By 1963, his career had skyrocketed. Critics called him a creative genius. Pop stars were recording the songs he wrote, making him rich. But he still kept his instrumentation simple, relying entirely on his acoustic guitar and harmonica. That changed in 1965, when he made the leap to rock and roll. For the first time, his music featured a full drum set and electric guitar, bass, and keyboards. Some of his fans were offended. How dare he renounce his folk roots? I wonder if it might be time for you to consider a comparable transition, Leo. Are you willing to risk disorienting or disturbing those who would prefer you to stay as you are?

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

“Whoever travels without a guide needs 200 years for a two-day journey.” That’s an old Sufi saying sometimes attributed to the poet Rumi. I don’t think it’s accurate in all cases. Sometimes we are drawn to wander into frontiers that few people have visited and none have mastered. There are no guides! On other occasions, we can’t get the fullness of our learning experience unless we are free to stumble and bumble all by ourselves. A knowledgeable helper would only interfere with that odd magic. But right now, Virgo, I believe the Sufi saying holds true for you. Where you’re headed, you would benefit from an advisor, teacher, or role model.

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

Your upcoming efforts might not be flawless in all respects, but I suspect you will triumph anyway. You may not even be completely sure of what you want, but I bet you’ll get a reward you didn’t know you were looking for. Cagey innocence and high expectations will be your secret weapons. Dumb luck and crazy coincidences will be your X-factors. Here’s one of your main tasks: As the unreasonable blessings flow in your direction, don’t disrupt or obstruct the flow.

There’s a meme rolling around Tumblr and Facebook that goes like this: “Everyone wants a magical solution for their problems, but they refuse to believe in magic.” Judging from the astrological omens, I think this Internet folk wisdom applies to your current situation. As I see it, you have two choices. If you intend to keep fantasizing about finding a magical solution, you will have to work harder to believe in magic. But if you can’t finagle your brain into actually believing in magic, you should stop fantasizing about a magical solution. Which will it be?

CANCER

SCORPIO

As soon as a baby loggerhead turtle leaves its nest on a Florida beach, it heads for the ocean. It’s only two inches long. Although it can swim just one mile every two hours, it begins an 8,000-mile journey that takes ten years. It travels east to Africa, then turns around and circles back to where it originated. Along the way it grows big and strong as it eats a wide variety of food, from corals to sea cucumbers to squid. Succeeding at such an epic journey requires a stellar sense of direction and a prodigious will to thrive. I nominate the loggerhead turtle to be your power animal for the coming weeks, Cancerian.

I have taken a passage from a letter that Henry Miller wrote to Anais Nin, and I have chopped it up and rearranged it and added to it so as to create an oracle that’s perfect for you right now. Ready? “This is the wild dream: you with your chameleon’s soul being anchored always in no matter what storm, sensing you are at home wherever you are. You asserting yourself, getting the rich varied life you desire; and the more you assert yourself, the more you love going deeper, thicker, fuller. Resurrection after resurrection: that’s your gift, your promise. The insatiable delight of constant change.”

June 21-July 22

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

In 1961, 19-year-old Bob Dylan began doing solo performances of folk songs at New

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

One of your important assignments in the coming week is to get high without the use of drugs and alcohol. Let me elabo-

happenings | continued from previous page rate. In my oracular opinion, you simply must escape the numbing trance of the daily rhythm. Experiencing altered states of awareness will provide you with crucial benefits. At the same time, you can’t afford to risk hurting yourself, and it’s essential to avoid stupidly excessive behavior that has negative repercussions. So what do you think? Do you have any methods to get sozzled and squiffed or jiggled and jingled that will also keep you sane and healthy?

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

Singer Gloria Gaynor recorded the song “I Will Survive” in 1978. It sold over two million copies and ultimately became an iconic disco anthem. And yet it was originally the B-side of “Substitute,” the song that Gaynor’s record company released as her main offering. Luckily, radio DJs ignored “Substitute” and played the hell out of “I Will Survive,” making it a global hit. I foresee the possibility of a similar development for you, Capricorn. What you currently consider to be secondary should perhaps be primary. A gift or creation or skill you think is less important could turn out to be pre-eminent.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

I’m tempted to furrow my brow and raise my voice as I tell you to please please please go out and do the dicey task you’ve been postponing. But that would just be a way to vent my frustration, and probably not helpful or constructive for you. So here’s my wiser advice: To prepare for that dicey task, lock yourself in your sanctuary until you figure out what you first need to change about yourself before you can accomplish the dicey task. I think that once you make the inner shift, doing the deed will be pretty easy.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

In the fairy tale “The Ugly Duckling,” the young hero suffers from a peculiar case of mistaken identity. He believes that he is a duck. All of his problems stem from this erroneous idea. By duck standards, he is a homely mess. He gets taunted and abused by other animals, goes into exile, and endures terrible loneliness. In the end, though, his anguish dissolves when he finally realizes that he is in fact a swan. United with his true nature, he no longer compares himself to an inappropriate ideal. Fellow swans welcome him into their community, and he flies away with them. Is there anything in this story that resonates with you, Pisces? I’m guessing there is. It’s high time to free yourself from false notions about who you really are.

Delaware Center. Tues. 5:30-7:00 Zumba at St. Joseph's Candler African American Resource Center. (Program sponsors.) ongoing. 912-447-6605. Planned Parenthood Hotline

First Line is a statewide hotline for women seeking information on health services. Open 7pm-11pm nightly. ongoing. 800264-7154. Prenatal Pilates Mat Class

Pilates is an important fitness regimen for prenatal women as it increases body awareness, addresses the pelvic floor, develops functional strength, opens tight hips and can alleviate common low back pain. Every Thursday at Erigo from 10am to 11am. Everyone's first class is free. Thereafter, $20 a class or purchase a 5 class package for $75. $20 a class/ $75 -5 class package Thursdays, 10:30-11:30 a.m.. 912-544-6387. info@erigosavannah. com. erigosavannah.com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street. Kid's Happenings

Baby & Mom Yoga

For mothers with babies who are precrawlers. Moms learn poses for baby to help with digestion and sleeping -- and get a bit of relaxation, movement and camaraderie for themselves. $120 for a six session pass. Tuesdays, 10-11 a.m.. 912-704-7650. ann@douladeliveriescom. savannahyogacenter.com. savannahyoga. com. Savannah Yoga Center Pooler, 111 Canal Street. Irish Dancers of Savannah

Savannah's first organized Irish dance school welcomes dancers, ages 4 and up. Learn Irish Step and Ceili (Irish square) Dancing at a relaxed pace. Convenient mid-town location. Adult classes available. Thursdays.. 912-897-5984. irishdancsav@ aol.com. Kids Yoga Teacher Training

This blended training combines independent learning with two energetic, dynamic days of classroom instruction. Before the training, you will create an account with OKAY - Online Kidding Around Yoga. Here you will find the first two modules . These will prepare you for your intense, fun Two Day Live Training. With your diploma/certificate, you gain two months of access to the entire OKAY program. This gives you the keys to use and review the massive amount of knowledge you just received in your training. March 14-15. kiddingaroundyoga.com/kids-yoga-teacher-trainings/ schedule/savannah-ga-kids-yoga-teacher-training/. Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. New Mamas Club

A weekly Friday gathering of new moms and their babies. Practice baby & mom yoga, do a planned activity. Dream boards, affirmation writing, personalized aromatherapy and other projects. $20 per session. Six session discount. Fridays, 10 a.m.-noon. 912-704-7650. ann@douladeliveries.com. douladeliveries.com. erigosavannah.com. Erigo, 5301 Paulsen Street. Positive Youth Basketball Team

Tryouts for the Positive Youth Basketball Team begin March 14 and are open to

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3rd-6th grade kids. The games are every Saturday from 2-4 pm. $20 per child ongoing. 912-604-2900. Delaware Recreation Center, 1815 Lincoln St. Savannah Children's Museum School Year Hours

SCM hours beginning 8/31/13 will be Sunday 11am-4pm; Tuesday-Saturday 10am-4pm. Open on holiday Mondays that SCC Public Schools are not in session including Labor Day. For more details go to savannahchildrensmuseum.org ongoing. Savannah Children's Museum, 655 Louisville Road. Toddler Tuesdays at Oatland Island Wildlife Center

Toddlers 6 months to 4 years, and their adults. Themed programs--story books, singing songs, finger puppet plays, crafts, guided walks, up close encounters with Oatland animals. Preregister by 4pm Monday. $5 children. Gen. Admission for adults ($5 or $3 for military & seniors) Tuesdays. 912-395-1500. oatlandisland.org. oatlandisland.org/. Oatland Island Wildlife Center, 711 Sandtown Rd. LGBT

First City Network

Georgia's oldest LGBT organization (founded in 1985), is a local non-profit community service organization whose mission is to share resources of health care, counseling, education, advocacy and mutual support in the Coastal Empire. Members and guests enjoy many special events throughout the year, including First Saturday Socials held the first Saturday of each month at 7pm. Mondays. 912-236CITY. firstcitynetwork.org. Gay AA Meeting

True Colors Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, a gay and lesbian AA meeting that welcomes all alcoholics, meets Thursdays and Sundays, 7:30pm, at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 311 E. Harris, 2nd floor. New location effective 11/2012. ongoing. Georgia Equality Savannah

Local chapter of Georgia's largest gay rights group. 104 W. 38th St. 912-5476263. ongoing. Savannah Pride, Inc.

Organizes the annual Savannah Pride Festival and helps promote the well-being of the LGBT community in the South. Mission: unity through diversity and social awareness. Second Tuesday/month. Call for location. ongoing. 912-288-7863. heather@savpride.com. savpride.com. Stand Out Youth

A gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth organization. Meets every Friday at 7pm. Call, email or see website for info. Fridays, 7-9 p.m. 912-6571966. info@standoutyouth.org. standoutyouth.org. Vineyard Church Office, 1020 Abercorn Street. What Makes a Family

A children's therapy group for children of GLBT parents. Ages 10 to 18. Meets twice a month. Call for info. ongoing. 912-3522611. Religious & Spiritual

Band of Sisters Prayer Group

All women are invited. Second Tuesdays, 7:30am-8:30am. Fellowship Assembly, 5224 Augusta Rd. Email or call Jeanne Seaver or see website for info. "The king's heart is like channels of water in the hands of the Lord." (Prov. 21:1) ongoing. 912-6638728. jeanneseaver@aol.com. capitolcom. org/georgia.

ongoing. 912-232-1033. revwasson@gmail. com. Savannah Baptist Center, 704 Wheaton Street.

W. Liberty St.

Unitarian Universalist Church of Savannah

Liberal religious community where people with different beliefs gather as one faith. A Bible book club for those wanting to read Sundays, 11am. Email, call or see website the Bible in one year. Open to all. Book for info. ongoing. 912-234-0980. admin@ club format, not a traditional Bible study. uusavannah.org. uusavannah.org. uusaAll welcome, regardless of race, creed, vannah.org. Unitarian Universalist Church A Buddhist Meditation Center sexual orientation, religion. Thurs. 6:00pm- of Savannah, 313 Harris St. Welcoming all lineages and spiritual tradi- 7:00pm. Call for info. ongoing. 912-233Unity Church of Savannah Everyone is welcome. Unity of Savannah tions. Newcomers to meditation welcome. 5354. Holy Spirit Lutheran Church, 622 E. is not concerned with where people come Daily meditation, study groups and classes. 37th Street. Savannah Friends Meeting (Quakers) from, what they look like, or whom they Sunday includes a talk given by resident Un-programmed worship. 11am Sunlove â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Unity is just glad that each person priest on Buddhist philosophy and how it days, third floor of Trinity United Methodis here. Sunday 9:15am meditative service relates to daily life. The center is available and 11:00am celebratory service show for individual and group retreats, weddings ist Church. Call or email for info. All are and funerals. Visit Savannahzencenter.com welcome. ongoing. 912-308-8286. savbran- what the New Thought Movement is all about. Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s church 11am service. for schedule and see us on Facebook. Soto art@gmail.com. trinitychurch1848.org/. Unity loves all people, just as they are. Zen lineage, resident Priest Un Shin Cindy Trinity United Methodist Church, 225 West President St. Sundays. 912-355-4704. unityofsavannah. Beach Sensei. 912-427-7265 ongoing. The Savannah Reiki Share org. unityofsavannah.org/. Unity Church of Savannah Zen Center, 111 E. 34th St. Catholic Singles During shares, participants take turns giv- Savannah, 2320 Sunset Blvd. A group of Catholic singles age 30-50 meet ing and receiving universal life force energy frequently for fun, fellowship and service. via Reiki and other healing modalities. Special Screenings Film: Cinderella Send email or check website to receive Present at the shares are usually no less A live-action retelling of the classic fairy announcements of activities and to suggest than 2 Reiki Masters. Come share with tale about a servant step-daughter who activities for the group. ongoing. familylife@ us on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of every wins the heart of a prince. $7 Thursdays diosav.org. diosav.org/familylife-singles. month at the Sweet Water Spa in downCenter for Spiritual Living--Savannah town Savannah. Sign up at Savannah Reiki and Fridays, Saturdays, 6 & 8:15 p.m.. All are invited to this Science of Mind marstheatre.com. Mars Theatre, 109 S. Share or Reiki by Appointment on Facecommunity. Recognizing the presence and book. Free ongoing, 7 p.m. 440-371-5209. Laurel Street. Film: Death Proof, Planet Terror power of God within, and believing that this Sweet Water Spa, 148 Abercorn Street. Service of Compline This installation of the Florence's "Movies presence is in everything in the universe, Enter the stillness of another age. Gregoand Meatballs" series consists of Quentin unifying all of life. Welcoming all on their rian Chant sung by candlelight at 9:00-9:30 Tarantino's films. Sun., March 15, 6:30 spiritual pathway. Celebration: Sunday p.m. every Sunday night by the Complne p.m. The Florence, 1 West Victory. mornings. Location: Bonaventure Chapel, Choir of Christ Church Anglican. Come, say Film: Mystery George Kennedy Film 2520 Bonaventure Road. Meditation at In honor of his 90th birthday, the Psygood nigh to God. All are welcome. ongo10:30am Service at 11:00am Childcare ing. Independent Presbyterian Church, Bull chotronic Film Society will show a George available in the "Funday School" Sundays. Kennedy film which will remain a mystery Street and Oglethorpe Ave. cslsavannah.org. Columba House South Valley Baptist Church until showtime. For mature audiences Columba House is an inclusive, welcoming Weekly Sunday services. Sunday school, only. $7 Wed., March 11, 8 p.m. sentienthospitality space dedicated to building and 10:00am. Worship, 11:30am. Tuesday Bible bean.com. The Sentient Bean, 13 East sustaining a community of faith commitStudy/Prayer Service, 6:30pm. Pastor Rev. Park Ave. Punk Rock Movie Night ted to social justice with the city's young Dr. Barry B. Jackson, 480 Pine Barren adults, college students, and creative Road, Pooler, GA "Saving a nation one soul Join the Sentient Bean for a monthly series of movies directly inspired by punk demographic. Tuesday evenings 6:30-8pm, at a time." ongoing. music, fashion or general attitude. The includes dinner and a program focused on St. Patrick's Day Mass Celebrate Saint Patrick with Catholic movie will start promptly at 8PM. Admisjustice. All are welcome. Free and open to sion is free for customers. Attendees are the public. Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. 912-228- mass. Tue., March 17, 8 a.m. savannahinvited to discuss and or promote any 9425. Columba House, 34th Street between cathedral.org/. Cathedral of St John the Baptist, 222. East Harris St. events or shows happening around town. Abercorn and Lincoln Streets. Guided Silent Prayer Sundays on Thursdays Worship Service second Saturday of every month, 8 p.m. Acoustical songs, 30 minutes of guided Thursdays. 912-826-0206. maritimebethe- sentientbean.com. The Sentient Bean, 13 silent prayer, and minutes to receive latsavannah.org. The Fellowship Assembly East Park Ave. prayer or remain in silence. Wednesdays, of God Church, 5224 Augusta Road. 6:45-8:00pm at Vineyard Church, 615 Mont- Tapestry Church A church for all people! We don't care what gomery St. See website for info. ongoing. you are wearing, just that you are here. vineyardsavannah.org. Maritime Bethel From the moment you walk in until the "Sundays on Thursdays" worship at the moment you leave, Tapestry is commitFellowship Assembly. Plenty of parking ted to delivering a creative, challenging, for large trucks. Free Thursdays. 912-220- straight forward, and honest message 2976. The Fellowship Assembly of God about the role of biblical principles in your Church, 5224 Augusta Road. life. Come experience an environment that A New Church in the City, For the City helps you connect with God and discover Gather on Sundays at 10:30am. Like the his incredible purpose for your life. Join us Facebook page "Savannah Church Plant." every Sunday morning 10AM at the Haberongoing. Bryson Hall, 5 E. Perry St. sham YMCA. Sundays, 10 a.m. tapestrysaNew Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary vannah.com. ymcaofcoastalga.org/. YMCA Courses are now being offered at the (Habersham Branch), 6400 Habersham St. Theology on Tap new Savannah Extension of New Orleans Meets on the third Monday, 8:30pmBaptist Theological Seminary. Full course 10:30pm. Like the Facebook page: Theolloads for both Undergraduate and Graduogy on Tap Downtown Savannah. ongoing. ate Degrees will be offered. Apply now at 61 www.nobts.edu to start classes this winter. distillerysavannah.com. The Distillery, 416 Read the Bible in One Year

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743 E. Henry-Upstairs Unit “B” 2BR/2BA, Living room, Kitchen/ Dining w/Appliances, W/D hookups. CH&A, Porch & Deck, Off-street parking. $875 rent/$825 deposit. 912-898-4135 FREE RENT - HANDYMAN SPECIAL. 2 bedroom/1 bath, CH/A, hardwood floors, fenced yard, detached workshop. 2316 E. 40th Street. 912-441-3495 FURNISHED APTS. $170/WK. Private bath and kitchen, cable, utilities, washer furnished. AC & heat, bus stop on property. No deposit required. Completely safe, manager on property. Contact Denise, (352)459-9707, Linda, (912)690-9097, Jack, (912)342-3840 or Cody, (912)6957889 GREAT RENTAL on Caroline Drive. 2 Bedroom/1 Bath, new paint and flooring. Nice ground floor apartment. $650/month, $650/ deposit. Call 912-655-4303 POOLER: Brick 3BR/2BA, CH&A, very nice neighborhood. LR/DR combo, eat-in kitchen, fenced backyard, covered patio, storage bldg. No pets/No smoking. No Section 8. $950/month, $950/ deposit. 912-844-1825, 912-8441812

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11515 White Bluff Road: $620/month for 1BR/1BA Apt. with $500/deposit. 1303 E. 66th Street. 2BR/2BA $780/month. Nice location, 127 Edgewater Rd. 2BR/2BA, all electric, $825/month.

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VERY NICE HOUSE FOR RENT

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ROOMS FOR RENT $75 MOVE-IN SPECIAL TODAY!! Clean, furnished, large. Busline, RENT OR RENT-TO-OWN: central heat/air, utilities. $100Remodeled mobile homes, $130/weekly. Rooms with bath 3BR/2BA, in Garden City mobile $145. Call 912-289-0410. home park. Low down affordable payments. Credit check approval. Call Gwen, Manager, at 912-9647675

FURNISHED, includes utilities, central heat/air, Comcast cable, washer/ dryer. Ceramic tile in kitchen. Shared Kitchen & Shared bath. Call 912-2100181, leave message ROOM FOR RENT in Beautiful Arium Trellis Apartments of Georgetown Area Savannah. Located on Brasseler Blvd. 2BR, 1.5BA Apt. Bedroom is 13x10ft. Central heat/air, Total electric, Appliances, Fully equipped kitchen, Swimming pool, Internet provided. Seeking someone clean and responsible. Must provide steady income. Roommate needed ASAP. Asking only $500; Utilities included. 6 month or more stay. Available Now. Call or Text, 770-235-3228

ROOMS FOR RENT - ADULT LIVING: $150 weekly. No deposit. Furnished rooms. All utilities included. Call 912844-5995 SAVANNAH'S HOUSE OF GRACE

SENIOR LIVING AT IT'S BEST FOR AGES 50 & BETTER Shared community living for full functioning seniors ages 50 & above. Nice comfortable living at affordable rates. Shared kitchen & bathroom. All bedrooms have central heating/air and cable. Bedrooms are fully furnished and private. Make this community one you will want to call home. SAVANNAH'S HOUSE OF GRACE also has community housing with its own private bath. Different rates apply. Income must be verifiable. We accept gov. vouchers. Prices starting at $550.

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ROOMMATE WANTED: Upscale Community, close to Southside, 10 min. from Gulfstream. 1BR, Private bath, Fully furnished, Utilities included. Non-smoker. Mature and serious-minded people apply. $775/month. Contact 912-247-3835 or email: g19061906@yahoo.com

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