Practical tools for...
Self-Care
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS This resource has been presented from the work developed by Activ Living - www.activliving.com and is based on the work of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine - www.universalmedicine.com.au. Quotes from the work of Jane Keep - Book extract: Self-Care at Work and its practical development: Coaches as a Case in Point - www.janekeep.co.uk.
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Your relationship with you has a ‘spi
and , consistency, integrity, productivity “When we consider that our quality ose for to where we are at and what we cho al equ be y onl can ers oth h wit connection ount importance. “ our-self, self-care becomes of param Activ Living - www.activliving.com
“If we aren’t taking care of ourselves, and if in that we are not serving ourselves (with self care, self kindness, tenderness and gentleness to ourselves), then how can we provide services to others who most often are in need of that exact same support – to learn from us for themselves. If we are an organisation or team equally who aren’t taking care of ourselves, our team, or our organisation how can we serve others? “ Jane Keep
stage 1 List the ways in which you currently care for yourself:
stage 2 List the ways in which you know you need to bring a more caring approach to you:
make the connection Making the connection and getting to know yourself has a lot to do with observing yourself. Observing yourself is about becoming aware of your feelings and watching your reactions and emotions to different situations, experiences and people. Building self-awareness is about building a connection to you. “It does require the personal commitment to being open to seeing things for instance about myself that I didn’t want to see; and getting to the root of things, and being prepared to make changes. It also requires an honesty about how self aware we truly are and to feel raw and exposed at times. “ Jane Keep
We can all relate to moments of when we are connected and when we are disconnected. Use the words to describe how they both feel.
connected
vs
dis-connected
TOOLS
On a ical t prac ... note
to build self-care & connection
The following tools can be used to develop a way of being with yourself and a way of living that supports you to build self-care and connection.
1. Self-awareness 2. Staying present 3. Being gentle 4. Taking a moment 1. Self-awareness This can be very practical, so let’s use food as an example. Do you ever notice how some foods can leave you feeling light and other foods can leave you feeling heavy, bloated, lethargic and not feeling so good about yourself. Another example is sugar and caffeine. If you notice a need or a dependency for these stimulants, you can then start to trace back to what you are doing throughout your day that leaves you depleted of energy. You can start to see how you are resorting to stimulants to get you through the day. From here you can start to look at practical ways in which you can better support yourself.
Notes:
2. Staying present Staying present simply means making sure your mind is in line with what your body is doing. For example: When you are cooking, you are present with what you are doing. When your mind is present with you and where you are at – you are with yourself. This supports you to not go into the stories that the mind creates which takes you away from being present with yourself and your body. What does it feel like when you are in auto-pilot?
What does it feel like when you are connected and present with you?
3. Being gentle Being gentle is about choosing to be gentle with how you are with you. More often than not we can be quite hard on our-self and our body. Consider the way you are with your body. Would you say that you are gentle? Using the body as a marker in terms of how something feels is important (e.g if you eat something that is not supportive for you, your body always tells you how that feels). Write down how you are with your body (e.g. how you move, lift things, walk, close doors, do the cleaning etc):
Write down how it felt to be gentle with you in your body:
4. Taking a moment Sometimes you just need to take time out to STOP and re-connect with yourself. You can do this by finding somewhere quiet to sit and allowing 5-10 minutes to stop and feel your body. Write down how you felt at the start:
Write down how you felt at the end:
When you stop like this you get to feel where you are and how you are being with yourself. Moments like these bring clarity to feeling if you may need to make different choices. Taking a moment can also mean STOPPING to appreciate yourself, who you are and your qualities.
Appreciate
Your daily rhythm Developing a rhythm within your day to day life at work and at home can support you to establish and develop self-care. Write down ways in which you can prepare, organise, prioritise and make different choices in your day based on what you feel now and the tools you have experienced.
Wake-up
Work day starts
Mid-morning
Lunch
Mid-afternoon
Late afternoon - after
Evening
Bedtime
work
FUN
PLAY-FULL
LIGHT
Team-Care Self-care & self-responsibility
= Team-care
Team-care starts with self-care and self-responsibility. If you choose to be responsible for yourself and for the way you communicate, relate and interact with others, team-care simply becomes a natural extension of this choice. How you are with others is how you are with yourself.
communication Communication is about taking responsibility for the way you express yourself. This is important as we can say things that impact on another person or that can be misinterpreted by others. Negative communication * Gossiping * Putting others down * Saying things that you don’t really mean * Emotional reactionary communication with others Often, communicating in a negative way is about making yourself feel ‘better’ because you don’t feel that good about yourself. If you choose to communicate in a negative way, this ultimately impacts on you and hurts you. Positive communication * Speaking your truth * Being honest * Asking if you don’t understand something * Keeping it real * Being YOU Positive communication is sharing how you feel in a way that can be heard by another. When you are being YOU and expressing yourself with others, it is easy to inspire others to do the same.
n io t a ic n u m m o c l a b r e -v n no You are continually communicating in a non-verbal way via your body, body language and body posture. Non-verbal communication makes up a large percentage of the way we all actually communicate, more so than verbal communication. Non-verbal communication provides a bigger picture as to what is really going on. FEELING Your ability to feel allows you to pick up on what is happening around you. You can feel the vibe of a room, a situation, a person. Your feelings can tell you what is really going on. If you stay connected with you, you are able to observe and feel what is going on around you without taking it personally or taking it on. For example: You can go into a room and feel if someone is upset even though they tell you that they are okay. BODY LANGUAGE We use other types of non-verbal communication cues such as: facial expressions, body movements, eyes or tone of voice to pick up on what someone is communicating.
respond vs react respond
and feel what needs To respond is to OBSERVE at person(s). to be communicated for th ecting and relating. Responding is about conn
re-act
To re-act is to comm unicate in a way th at is reactionary. This m ay be aggressive, do minant, forceful, emotional, aloof or passive.
For example: Joe comes in tired and angry and starts having a go at Sally. Sally could choose to either respond or react. If Sally chooses to respond She is staying connected to her and not allowing herself to get affected by Joe’s anger. Sally can observe Joe in his own anger without getting affected. This can assist Joe to come out of his anger rather than enjoining him and both being angry. If Sally chooses to re-act She is disconnected from herself and re-acts to the anger that Joe is projecting onto her. She then goes into the same anger and they are both emotional. Relating and communicating with others is something that we are continually learning. Some people may trigger off things in you that you may not be aware of. Every interaction whether challenging or not is an opportunity for you to grow from. Often the challenging experiences offer the most learning in terms of recognising where you may still be reacting or have issues that need to be dealt with.
relating 1. Starts with you Building relationships and relating has a lot to do with the way you communicate and express yourself with others. Building true relationships with others is about building a true relationship with yourself first. If you can build upon your own level of care, respect and acceptance towards yourself, you will naturally extend that through to others. It starts with you!
2. Building relationships with others As you build a relationship with you, your confidence grows in accepting yourself and being able to communicate and express yourself with others. If you are connected with yourself first then you naturally meet and connect to another.
Sometimes you may be connected and the person you are communicating with may not be connected. These situations will feel awkward and uncomfortable. That’s why it is always important to stay connected with YOU, no matter what another is choosing.
Then you can inspire them to re-connect with themselves.
Enjoy being with you so others can enjoy being with you.
team support
Team support is really about valuing yourself and what you bring/contribute to the team as a whole. This is key as you are then not waiting for someone to tell you “you’re awesome”, you already know it!! If we start with valuing who we are and our unique qualities we begin to appreciate and value others and what they also bring to the team. Essentially we can only take responsibility for ourself in terms of the way in which we make choices, express, communicate and relate with others. Considering we spend a large amount of time within the workplace, developing a harmonious environment and connection with your co-workers is important. When there is disharmony within the team, it brings opportunity to look at and take responsibility for the way in which you are reacting and to see what issues it is bringing up in you. We have a tendency to project and blame others for the way we feel rather than take responsibility for our ‘stuff’ and the issues we haven’t dealt with yet.
harmony
dis-harmony
Take a moment to STOP and appreciate where you work, the job you have, the responsibilities you have, the team you work with and the opportunities to grow and learn from others.
Appreciate