Guest Column: Donkey Love

By Pam Wormington

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

The old-timers used to say that the beauty shop was the place to get in on the latest gossip. This farm wife says it’s the best place to find a donkey, a dinky donkey. My hairdresser, friend, and miracle worker, Jennifer, and I visited at the Back Porch for years, and we talked about everything under the sun from kids, camping, life chaos and occasionally crazy farm life. One day I was telling her about my sweet Cupid, a miniature mule, and how she was nearing the age of greener pastures and that I’d like to bring along another protector of our baby calves and livestock. It was then that she mentioned a sassy girl, Stormy. Stormy is a miniature Jerusalem donkey, and she and her main man, Jack, needed to find a new farm. The price was right, and we were excited to bring the duo home and introduce them to our herd of cattle. It turns out we got 2 ½ donkeys! Hee Haw! July 3 of that year, we ‘ooooed and awed’ over a little girl and named her Poppy. She was a showstopper. Actually, it was the traffic on our farm road that stopped to watch her as she stayed near her momma under the shade tree next to our house. The next year on July 4, little ‘Sparky’ was born, another dinky donkey. At this point we were really getting a big bang for our buck. Did I mention the two donkeys were free? Hee Haw! Due to the ‘situationship’ or as a biologist would call it ‘inbreeding’, Jack and Sparky found new farms and families.

Stormy and her daughter, Poppy, remain here on the farm. They love treats, our grandsons, and

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scratching their rump on our white vinyl fence. They are vocal and it always makes me giggle to hear their greetings. I’m not sure we got our money’s worth out of these donkeys because the only thing I’ve seen them protect the cattle from is our lazy Lab or the crazy corgi, both of whom are afraid of cows. They do enjoy a rare story time of The Wonky Donkey, The Grinny Granny Donkey or the Dinky Donkey, which makes for a fun video to send to your grandsons during a pesky pandemic that leaves us in lockdown.

If you find these two gals adorable, swipe right. Stormy and her daughter, Poppy watch their figures by eating salad every day, all day, whether it is from the field or my garden and getting plenty of exercise by power walking the pastures on Wormington Farms. They look identical and are often turning heads of those traveling down the country road. They have a great personality too. However, on occasion we do have to say the ole line ‘Don’t be an A..!’ And it’s always a funny when the farmer tells me to get my A.. out of the corral. As much as they love us humans, our love, pets, treats and woes, unfortunately they are lonely and need a male companion. Actually, they are just looking for a one-night stand. I think, if I bring any more animals to this farm that don’t earn us a living, I may get put out to pasture. Do you have a dinky donkey looking for love in all the wrong places? Let’s see if we can make fireworks happen. Hee Haw! 