10 Steps
Fall 2012 Issue #8
to facebook success
LGBT Activist Sarah Schulman gives insight into the REAL fight for equality
Sweet Success www.connextionsmagazine.com
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THE
HUMAN
ORGANIZATION TRANSGENDER
RIGHTS
CAMPAIGN
WORKING EQUALITY.
TO BY
IS
AMERICA’S
ACHIEVE INSPIRING
LESBIAN, AND
LARGEST
CIVIL
GAY,
BISEXUAL
ENGAGING
ALL
RIGHTS AND
AMERICANS,
HRC STRIVES TO END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST LGBT CITIZENS AND REALIZE A NATION THAT ACHIEVES FUNDAMENTAL FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY FOR ALL.
www.hrc.org HRC SEEKS TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF LGBT AMERICANS BY ADVOCATING FOR EQUAL RIGHTS AND BENEFITS IN THE WORKPLACE, ENSURING FAMILIES ARE TREATED EQUALLY UNDER THE LAW, AND INCREASING PUBLIC SUPPORT AMONG ALL AMERICANS THROUGH INNOVATIVE ADVOCACY, EDUCATION AND OUTREACH PROGRAMS. HRC WORKS TO SECURE EQUAL RIGHTS FOR LGBT INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES AT THE FEDERAL AND STATE LEVELS BY LOBBYING ELECTED OFFICIALS, MOBILIZING GRASSROOTS SUPPORTERS, EDUCATING AMERICANS, INVESTING STRATEGICALLY TO ELECT FAIR-MINDED OFFICIALS AND PARTNERING WITH OTHER LGBT ORGANIZATIONS.
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CONTRIBUTORS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Shelly Straub ART DIRECTOR Lucia Camarda
ADVERTISING SALES (315) 380-6883 CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS James P. Blair Maria Bryk Taylor Hooper Photography Eccentrix Photography Todd McGrain Ward Robinson Peyton Steitz CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Christopher de la Torre Edward Truth Maria Lesetz Mary Reed Desiree Sousa Allison Hogue LFA Turppa Jason Cianciotto, MPA Read Connextions Magazine online or purchase your print edition through our website at:
www.connextionsmagazine.com WRITE TO US: Do you have a question or comment regarding this issue or future issues of Connextions Magazine? We would love to hear from you! Email responses, press releases and future event listings are always welcomed... shelly@connextionsmagazine.com All submissions become the property of Connextions Magazine. The views and opinions stated throughout this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of staff at Connextions Magazine. Connextions Magazine, LLC publishing office is located at 8601 Tartan Drive North, Cicero, New York 13039. Connextions Magazine will not knowingly publish or advertise text which is fraudulent or misleading. The publisher reserves the right to edit, limit, revise, or reject any text without cause. Connextions Magazine assumes no financial responsibility for typographical errors. If any errors are found, please notify Connextions Magazine immediately. Materials in this publication may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. ISSN 2160-4347 (print) ISSN 2160-4355 (online)
from the editor
T
here are pride celebrations in almost every state in America, and are celebrated in almost every month throughout the year, with June being the most popular month for the annual parades and festivals. The gathering of so many unique individuals is enlightening and inspiring to say the least. This year, I celebrated a bit different. Typically, I attend a pride gathering in June of each year, to give thanks and celebrate my freedom. By chance, I was given the opportunity this year, to divulge into the history of both my freedom as an American citizen and my freedom as a lesbian, living in America. I was honored to sit with activist Sarah Schulman, and listen to the awe-inspiring stories of the actions taken by her and others to pave the path of freedom. I now have a real understanding of the battle for equality, and the history behind the life of freedom that I live today, all because of the actions taken by those who fought… and still fight for our human rights. Call it irony, call it coincidence… I call it fate, that in June, the month above all others in which I celebrate and give thanks for my freedom, I was able visit America’s Capital and learn about the history of this great Country, as well as sit with a legendary activist and learn how my freedom to live as an equal, came to be.
“
Make a career of humanity. Committ to the Noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater Nation of your Country, and a finer world to live in.
- District of Columbia 1959
“
ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Ryann Kimball
r e t t e L
In this issue, we discover all that Washington D.C. has to offer the traveler (pg 16); Christopher de la Torre unleashes the science behind the Gay Gene (pg 14); we introduce you to Baby M, an international pop star from Japan who is currently touring the US (pg 56); we learned how Paleo and CrossFit can lead you to a healthier lifestyle (pg 12); and Maria Lesetz brings us our quarterly dose of inspiration and well-being, learning how to “make peace with what is” (pg 48). While visiting Washington D.C., we stopped for dinner and desert in Georgetown (pg 44), we visited one of the infamous museums in our Nation’s capital…The Newseum, and don’t miss the special feature by contributing writer Edward Truth, on the time-line of LGBT equality in Washington D.C. (pg 26). Thank you for taking the time to browse the pages of Connextions Magazine. Your comments and feedback are always welcome! We look forward to connecting with you again when our Winter Issue releases in November, featuring gay-friendly travels to Maryland.
Shelly Shelly Straub
Facebook.com/Connextionsmag Twitter.com/Connextionsmag Pinterest.com/Connextionsmag
Connextions Magazine would like to send a special “Thank You” to Stacey Holewski for a wonderful D.C. experience!
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CONTENTS Features
XQ28 The science behind the gay gene LGBT history of equality in Washington D.C. The magic of Hoodoo - Believe It or Not? Exclusive interview with LGBT activist Sarah Schulman
Music Diana Chittester teams up with PFLAG Exclusive interview with West Coast rap duo Elephant International pop star from Japan, Baby M, tours the U. S.
Business 10 steps to facebook marketing success Business profile - Out & About Travel
Food Georgetown Cupcakes Clyde’s Restaurant, Washington D.C.
Lifestyle Protecting our youth from bullying There is hope for the grieving An Unlikely Ally Finding a home that fits Coming “out” on the Radio
photo courtesy Ward Robinson
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Wellness Does the “caveman” diet really work? Making peace with what is
Travel There’s more to America’s Capital than just Politics
Love Married D.C. style
In Each Issue Fabulous Finds - Unique Shopping In Review - Books, Mags, Music
photo courtesy Eccentrix Photography
Professional Directory
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Marketing Matters
10 Steps to Facebook Success
Bottom line - You MUST get your readers to interact with your content. Most of what I know to be true, I have learned on twitter, which is a key component to our marketing:
Get people Talking about YOU!
I
f you are an avid social media marketer or a small business new to the world of marketing via facebook, one of the most important pieces of information, is understanding what to post, how to post, and when to post, in order to make that post go ‘viral.’ In layman’s terms, going viral is the number of people who saw your page post in a story, from a friend. Therefore, the more people who like or comment on a post, the better chance you have to increase the amount of people who will potentially see the post. Click to any facebook page, and available to the public are two insights, one of which will tell you the number of page “likes” and second, is the number of people ‘talking about the’ page. Industry giants, such as Coca-Cola, have over 43 million ‘likes’ but only have an average of 420,000 people who are ‘talking about their page.’ The Human Rights Campaign has over 1 million ‘likes,’ with an average of 16,000 people talking about their page. So how do companies who use Facebook as a social media marketing tool, get people talking? We talked with Britt, Owner of EnGAYgedWeddings.com, a wedding directory & planning forum for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, & transgender community, who has mastered the art of marketing on twitter, and just recently joined the community of businesses marketing on Facebook.
Question:
Question: You currently have 717 "likes" but an impressive 6,030 people 'talking about your page'. What is your marketing secret to engage the public and get so many people talking about your posts?
Answer: Answer: Britt tells us:
Facebook has never been a key component of our business marketing plan, but I have noticed a few things in the past two months, while I have been educating myself about facebook and what role it may play in the marketing of my business. Pay very close attention to what your fans on facebook like and want – or they will change the channel and scroll down past your post faster than they can click a “like” button. Your fans have limited time and a lot of options. Fans who follow your page, but never comment on your page - will gradually, overtime, no longer see your page updates in their news feed. Why? Because facebook has decided that since they are not interacting with your page – they must not really be interested. The goal is to keep its users interested. If it fails to do that – then people would stop using facebook altogether.
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Make an effort to follow back and interact with EVERYONE that engages with you on social media – regardless of how many followers they have, how popular you think they are, or what you think they can or cannot do for you. TRUST ME – people will surprise you (both ways).
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Always respond when a follower or fan comments. This becomes increasingly difficult with very large accounts, but I still manage to do this presently. At the very least – on facebook – hit the “Like” button on a fans comment to acknowledge that you read their post and that you appreciate it.
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Post unique content – and if you cannot be unique or original try to be one of the first to share. Be a good social media community member – share and feature other people’s posts – and be certain to mention them and give them credit. Many will remember you for it – and gladly return the favor without having to be asked.
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Test, test, test what your fans respond to, like and comment on. It often surprises me. Once you know what they “like” be sure to give them more of it.
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The time of day that you post matters. It will vary with your audience and is something that you should test. Realize that you can learn from your followers. Listen to them and be sure to thank them for their insight. This opens the door for them to continue commenting and contributing to your page. Cross promote your own social media accounts. When I post a series of photos to facebook, I will simultaneously send out a tweet, letting my followers know I have posted something that might be of interest.
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Be aware that facebook runs on an algorithm it has named “Edge Rank”. If you are very interested in being successful on facebook – run a Google search and learn everything you can about the facebook algorithm. And lastly – what you did NOT want to hear! When a post really counts for your business, take EVERYTHING YOU HAVE LEARNED about your audience – put it all together and then PAY to PROMOTE IT. Yes – I am telling you that if you post something to facebook that is critical for your business, you can and you should pay to promote it.
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Yes, “What about the Children?” Protecting Youth from Anti-LGBT Bullying in Elementary Schools by Jason Cianciotto, MPA
M
y husband and I love being the fun “gay uncles” to our nieces and nephews. When we got married our oldest niece was too young to travel to the ceremony, but our family has always been loving, accepting and honest about her married gay uncles.
boyfriend. It also demonized “Ready, Set, Respect!,” a curricular resource from GLSEN created in collaboration with the National Association of Elementary School Principles that includes lesson plans addressing name-calling and bullying.
Growing up in this environment, we were surprised when she would sometimes laugh or exclaim “only boys and girls get married” when we referred to each other as “husband.” We would gently explain that sometimes two boys or two girls who love each other get married too.
GLSEN’s survey shows that anti-LGBT bullying begins at much younger ages. Children can learn homophobia from their families, friends, political leaders, and faith communities, and even though their personal understanding of sexual orientation and gender identity may be years away, they often target peers at school who are different or do not conform to gender stereotypes.
Privately, we were concerned. Was she hearing homophobic messages at her elementary school? Unfortunately, that is more likely than you may think. Disturbing results from a new survey from the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) found that the use of the word “gay” in a negative way, as in “that’s so gay,” was one of the most common forms of bias language heard regularly by nearly 50% of elementary school students and teachers. Over 25% of elementary school students and teachers also reported regularly hearing homophobic remarks like “fag” or “lesbo.” Yes, in elementary schools. The anti-LGBT crusaders at Focus on the Family, the $120 million per year organization supporting America’s culture wars, helped perfect the “what about the children?” message of fear used to prevent policies that would address bullying and enable kids like our niece to learn age-appropriate information about LGBT people in their school’s library and curricula. A recent video message from Focus on the Family attacked “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding,” a children’s book about a young girl whose uncle marries his
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“What about the children?” is not their winning argument. It is ours. An elementary school teacher empowered to intervene when students use the word “gay” in a disparaging way can save lives. The availability of a book at the school library like “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding” enables children to learn about same-sex couple families, including perhaps their own. Like “Uncle Bobby,” my husband and I love our niece and were relieved to find out the real reason why she reacted strangely to our marriage at such a young age.
Anti-bullying programs need to begin in elementary school to protect children experiencing verbal and physical abuse that can lead to low grades, truancy, higher rates of drug abuse and risky sex when they are teenagers, and even suicide.
During a trip in the car she insisted on repeatedly listening to one of her Disney Princesses CDs. Obsessed with these fairy-tale girls who always marry a prince, we realized that we were her only example of a married, same-sex couple.
There is hope. A study of data from the Preventing School Harassment survey in California found that students in schools with LGBT-inclusive curricula felt safer and were less likely to report anti-LGBT bullying.
Laughing at the simplicity of the issue and our own insecurities, we drove away happily ever after. All of America’s school children deserve the same.
This is why we need to stand our ground when extremist groups like Focus on the Family rant about “homosexuals recruiting school children.” This ridiculous scare tactic, used to prevent anti-bullying laws or ban books like “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding,” is actually their Achilles’ Heel. Support for protecting all youth, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, is not just empirical, it’s moral. Anyone who stands in the way, regardless of the “family values” they claim to represent, is at least enabling if not contributing to the physical and mental abuse of children in schools across the country.
Jason Cianciotto is co-author with Sean Cahill of the new book, “LGBT Youth in America’s Schools.” More information is available at: http://www.lgbtyouthinschools.com https://www.facebook.com/LgbtYouthInSchools Twitter @JasonCianciotto photos courtesy Taylor Hooper Photography
wherethebearsare.tv
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Healthy Living F
or most of my life, I pretty much ate anything I wanted, with a diet that consisted of chips, soda, pizza, any kind of pasta, and as much bread as I could get my hands on. Now, at age 38, I find my metabolism has taken a wrong turn. I have tried every diet pill, diet shake, quick diet fix, 3 day and 7 day diets... nothing works! I have a membership to a gym but can never find the time to fit that into my schedule. Can anyone relate? There are people who have struggled with weight gain all of their life and have mentioned to me on several occasions that my poor diet will eventually catch up with me. Of course I never listened. Who has the better advantage? Is it the 38 year old woman who spent all of her life looking good in skinny jeans and now has to completely transform her way of life to include a diet and an exercise program into her week? Or is it the 38 year old woman who has spent all of her life watching her calorie intake and is already accustomed to regular exercise activities? Since the grass is always greener on the other side, I’m going to say that the advantage goes to the woman who already knows what it takes to watch her weight and doesn’t have to give up the only foods she has spent her entire lifetime eating. There is a new form of fitness sweeping the nation, called CrossFit. In a nutshell, CrossFit is a toning and strengthening program that offers a 20-minute long extremely intense workout, mainly based on lifting your own body weight. You won’t find a room full of elliptical machines or treadmills: unlike typical gym’s, CrossFit carries rowing machines, weights and little else. I found it intimidating at first, but now I truly understand that doing exercises, using my own body weight and increasing
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includes Exercise and a Diet that Actually works!
repetitions over time, is what it takes to tone and strengthen. I always wondered why, spending a year at the gym, repeating the same routine (starting with my 30-minute cardio treadmill run) never returned any noticeable results. The Crossfit difference is HUGE! The daily workout begins on the hour, any hour of the day. The WOD (workout of the day) is done as a team, with one of the trainers leading the group. Everyone supports one another and if you finish first, you are required to stay and cheer on the other group members until everyone has finished. On one occasion, the last portion of that particular WOD was a 200 meter run. Here is what was so inspiring -- although the other team members had finished their WOD, the group ran with me for that last 200 meters, supporting me the whole way. This is something I have never experienced at another gym! To give myself a jumpstart into moving towards a healthier lifestyle, and of course, losing weight, I began a paleolithic diet, which was recommended by one of the trainers at my CrossFit gym, Dr. Ryan Stoffle, who is a chiropractic and nutritional counselor. Often heard of as "the world’s healthiest diet," "Paleo diet" or "caveman diet," it is based on the simple understanding that the best human diet is the one to which we are best genetically adapted. The food template is actually pretty simple, here is a breakdown of the do's and don'ts: Do eat: fish, meats, vegetables, fruit, roots, and nuts. Do NOT eat: Grains, legumes, dairy products, salt, refined sugar, and processed oils.
The most important thing I learned during my 30-day paleo challenge: You will NOT see results if you are not able to stick with it. Seeing as though this is a no carb/no sugar program, I went through some pretty serious withdrawl and was thankful that I began my challenge with Dr. Ryan, who was available to monitor my health. I had absolutely no idea how high my daily carb intake was, until this challenge. A bagel for breakfast, a sandwich and some chips for lunch, and a quick and easy pasta dish for dinner. And this was considered a low-carb day for me! With the paleo diet, as long as you eat the recommended foods, you can have as much of them as you like! There is no calorie counting, no eating small portioned frozen meals from a box only two times per day, and no shakes that replace a meal. I don’t know about you, but I thoroughly enjoy eating food, therefore, my desire to actually taste and chew the food in my mouth, will win every time over replacing a meal with some grainy chocolate or vanilla shake.
The bottom line:
During my challenge, I spent 30-days eating paleo suggested foods and recipes, and went to CrossFit 3x per week… I lost over 20 lbs in 30 days. After this challenge, what became more important to me than even the weight loss, which was the whole purpose, was the fact that my digestive track seems to be in perfect working order. Granted, I have not been to a doctor or had any exams on my intestines, but I have not had a
single stomach cramp in 30 days! Most people don’t leave home without their keys, I on the other hand, never left home without my keys AND my antacids! I’m thrilled to say that antacid medication is no longer a part of my diet. The latest statistics, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, show that more than one-third of US adults are obese, and obesity-related conditions such as: heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancer, are some of the leading causes of death in the United States. We are fighting for a lot of things in America, such as creating jobs, rebuilding the economy and equality, but let’s not forget that we NEED to be fighting for our health as well.
Take action…
Take the challenge!
For a detailed, daily account of my 30-day paleo/crossfit challenge, visit www.connextionsmagazine.com Keep in mind that this is only ‘my’ experience with trying to gain a better understanding of what it means to live a healthier lifestyle and if you plan to try it for yourself, make sure you are under the guidance of a qualified professional.
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Xq28 by Christopher de la Torre As science courts spirituality and religion courts reason, it is important to place ethics above all else, lest we summon greater demons on our quest for reconciliation.
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r
ichard Dawkins says there is no such thing as the "gay gene." Instead, the evolutionary biologist describes it as "the gay gene, given that.” According to Dawkins, genes just aren’t all that deterministic. In other words, a gene's function largely depends on its environmental conditioning. So, it would seem that genetic causation can't explain variations in sexuality after all, which would make being “born this way” only half right. Activists who used the gay gene as ammunition against religious bigotry might feel short-changed, but could the inability of science to prove the case either way actually be a blessing in disguise? Between 2003 and 2008, a psychiatric geneticist by the name of Alan Sanders looked at the genetic composition of more than 700 sets of homosexual brothers, in the hopes of using genes to understand sexual orientation. He built his study on the work of Dean Hamer—a research scientist who studied 33 pairs of gay brothers in 1993. While Hamer identified Xq28 as the genetic marker for homosexuality, it was later determined that conclusive results would require a much larger sample size. A decade and a half later, there is still no definitive link between genetic makeup and sexual orientation. Bummer? Maybe not. As it turns out, the world may be better off without one. The future of science seems promising. It's been more than ten years since we hacked the human genome. Since then, we’ve found useful links to personality, hereditary diseases and other traits. Technology is on a roll. Civil rights, not so much. In 2008, following a decade-long debate, Congress finally passed the Genetic Non-Discrimination Act (GINA). In addition to discouraging employment discrimination, the bill banned health insurers from setting premiums or denying coverage based on the results of genetic tests (some restrictions and loopholes apply).
While GINA raises awareness and offers protections, the privacy issue remains contentious. Texas Representative Ron Paul (the bill’s lone dissenter) questioned the government's ability to protect individual privacy in the face of increased regulation and bureaucracy. Who can say what will happen if your genetic information falls into the wrong hands? In the game of ethics, jumping the gun never makes up for lost time. But in the race to find the gay gene, science forgot to think about the implications. It’s not unreasonable to imagine legions of Bible thumpers on a new age crusade to "save" homosexuals, summoning ghosts of eugenics past as they call for genetic transparency in schools, churches and government chambers. Biological predisposition is hardly reason to rule out discrimination. A recap of gender and race relations over the last decade is enough to see where the nation stands in terms of diversity. Nationalism, border police, immigration reform—in post-9/11 America, “xenophobe” is the new “patriot,” further illustrating an ethos constantly at war with itself. It may not be long before renewed Republican interest in science shape-shifts into a nationalist agenda meant to appease white supremacists wanting to "take back their country." But in the end, the real threat to genetic freedom may not come from overzealous church congregations or anti-immigrant right-wingers. Left to the wrong devices, science is susceptible to tyranny, much like everything else. Even the Inquisition had a methodology. It wasn’t long ago that eugenics sought to redefine Manifest Destiny in the West. But following World War II eugenics had lost its appeal, mostly because of the Nazis. By mid-century, the American movement had all but disappeared, but not before the Chinese adopted it as a means of reconciling the nation’s traditional values with the modern world. Thirty years later, rising anxiety over population growth (we just hit seven billion) is enough to reexamine medical aid, food distribution and sex education. But this may not be enough to accommodate what experts say will be a population of nine billion come the year 2050. Given the origin of China's controversial one-child policy, it's easy to imagine eugenics creeping back into the American mainstream undetected—but how? As science courts spirituality and religion courts reason, it's important to place ethics above all else, lest we summon greater demons on our own quest for reconciliation. Society, forever cyclical, pours dreams and fears back and forth through an hourglass of shifting infinity, all the while reconstituting ideology—sometimes by demagogic means, other times pragmatically. For now, then, it seems best to quell the search for the gay gene, if only for reasons an overpopulated world can fully understand.
Christopher de la Torre writes about science and technology. Follow him on Twitter @urbanmolecule
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There’s more to America’s Capital
16 courtesy www.connextionsmagazine.com photo James P Blair, Newseum
than just Politics!
The Newseum | Pennsylvania Ave | Washingtion D.C.
If museums, galleries, the arts, fine food, shopping and history are of any interest to you, you will surely be overwhelmed with the amount of activities and sites to see in Washington DC. I remember taking my niece to DC when she was about 12 years old. The memory is still so vivid, as she stared at the White House and kept saying, “Are we really at the Presidents house? Is that really where the President lives?” To a child, walking the streets of DC is like a fantasy, something you have heard about and read about but never thought you would see in real life. To an adult, we are better equipped to handle the reality of seeing monumental and historical sites but it’s the same surreal feeling as the child’s fantasy.
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News & Views An obvious choice for someone with a passion for publishing, I visited The Newseum, 250,000-square-foot museum of news, that offers visitors a blend of five centuries worth of news history, with up-to-the-second technology and hands-on exhibits. The mission of The Newseum is to provide a forum where the media and the public can gain a better understanding of each other. With seven levels of galleries, theaters, retail spaces and visitor services, it offers a unique environment that takes museum-goers behind the scenes to experience how and why news is made. I was in awe over the exhibit with an actual piece of the Berlin Wall, as well as the 9/11 exhibit that features untold
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stories of the journalist who captured photographs of the tragic events until moments before his death, when the second tower fell in New York City. On the highest level of the museum, visitors are allowed to walk out onto the terrace that offers unparalleled views of the Capital building. Inside, on this same level, walls are covered with 80 newspaper front pages from around the world and are changed every day! And one last memorable mention: the 13 minute movie where some of the most dramatic events in journalism history are recreated, entitled, “I-Witness: A 4-D Time Travel Adventure�. It is a 3-D film with fourth dimension special effects that takes visitors on a journalistic trip through time.
Berlin Wall
The Metro doesn’t make any stops in Georgetown, so you will need to drive in and find a place to park. Knowing this will take a while may save you some anxiety, and you have the opportunity to enjoy the views as you drive down the residential tree-lined streets and 200 year-old restored row houses that cost a pretty penny.
Photo courtesy Maria Bryk, Newseum
Lined with quaint cobblestone streets, as well as 18th and 19th century architecture, Georgetown is one of the oldest neighborhoods in the District of Columbia. Older than Washington DC itself, the neighborhood has been home to famous residents, such as former U.S. Presidents Thomas Jefferson and John F. Kennedy. Georgetown served as a major port during colonial times because of its prime location on the Potomac River.
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World Trade Center North Tower Antenna
Sweets & Treats Georgetown Cupcake is the mastermind of best-selling authors and stars of the TLC television series DC CUPCAKES, Katherine Kallinis and Sophie LaMontagne; the two infamous sisters, who traded their corporate careers to create a sweet empire around baking. The cupcake store, a first for DC, is nestled into a corner on M Street, one of the main drags in the historic neighborhood of Georgetown, alongside hundreds of other specialty retailers and fashionable boutiques. Even with a waiting line from the front door that wraps down a full street block, there was no way our trip to Washington, D.C. would be complete without one of these tasty treats. Since the celebration of their first store in 2008, Katherine and Sophie have opened doors in Maryland, New York, and their most recent grand opening this past June, in Boston. If you’re on the west coast of America, don’t fret… Los Angeles will soon be treated to these delectable desserts with a store opening this fall.
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Lincoln Memorial “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.� - Abraham Lincoln
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www.kmtphotography.org
Where the Bears Are From the creative team of Rick Copp (The Brady Bunch Movie) Joe Dietl (The Thin Pink Line) and Ben Zook (Jack and Jill) comes “Where the Bears Are,” a comedy mystery web series that follows the exploits of three gay bear roommates living together in Los Angeles, as they attempt to solve the murder of a party guest that turned up dead in their bathroom. Part “Golden Girls” and part “Murder, She Wrote,” the series consists of 26 four-minute episodes, and is a romp through L.A.’s trendy neighborhood of Silver Lake, and whose mystery eventually reaches it’s climax in the desert outside of Palm Springs. Featuring guest appearances by Bruce Daniels, Tuc Watkins, Jackie Beat, and Shawn Pelofsky, the series is designed to appeal to both gay and straight audiences alike, and premiers online August 1st, 2012 at wherethebearsare.tv
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"I love you not only for what you are,
BUT FOR WHAT I AM WHEN I AM WITH YOU. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, BUT FOR WHAT YOU ARE MAKING OF ME. I love you for that part of me that you bring out."
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Whitney & Dustin
May 11, 2012 | Washington D.C.
We met in September of 2011 at Fort Stewart, GA, our first duty station in the military. We were instantly inseparable. Being separated for a time, while stationed to different units in the Army, only made our friendship and bond stronger. In December of 2011, we were engaged. On May 11th, 2012, we joined in unity and committed to one another for a lifetime of love and friendship. I truly married my best friend.
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Fabulous Finds
Stylish accessories for your canine companion
Pooch Park Wear customizes hoodies and t-shirts, the good, the naughty, the in-between, whether proud or quirky let them be seen! They also offer biker jackets, collars, collar charms, and their special Zinja beaded collars, made by a co-op of HIV-positive South African women, who weave the beads onto the collars. Shelly, Owner of PoochParkWear, was driven to create her own canine clothing line with Dog Park names on them for her own lil’ diva to wear. Shelly says “I thought it would be fun for dogs to proudly wear the name of their favorite Dog Park on their back and so PoochParkWear custom dog clothing was born.” Get creative and write anything you wish on the canine clothes! I prefer anything that makes me laugh, so I ordered one of the pooch pride charms that says “can’t even think straight.”
www.PoochParkWear.com
Cards that say it all without words Dan McLellan wanted to buy a romantic card for his spouse. He hunted in card shops and online, but nothing filled the bill. There were lots of sharp, funny, edgy, and sexy cards out there, but Dan McLellan wanted a romantic, tender card to express his deep feelings for his mate. There were none to be had. Dan and his spouse, Michael, are gay. McLellan doesn’t claim to be a trendsetter, just a man who couldn't find a product he wanted. So like many an entrepreneur before him, Dan decided to create the product he couldn't find. Mixing a love for quotes and a love for black and white photography, Dan created a collection of romantic gay cards and launched a new website, Homoquotables.com. The cards are made of high-quality paper and can be customized to suit the purchaser's needs, by displaying a variety of greetings. Any card can serve as a gay birthday card, a gay wedding card, or a gay card for another occasion in the life of a homosexual friend, family member, or lover. Dan plans to introduce one new card per month, with the addition of cards specific for lesbians.
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Fashion
Hand-crafted Elegance Like many others, Vanessa sold her soul to Corporate America, on a 7-10 year stretch, until realizing that true happiness doesn’t come from monetary rewards, it comes from soulful living. With the support of her husband, father, brother and five rescue dogs, Vanessa runs a business, right from the kitchen of her home, where she creates unique handmade artisan jewelry. Casual & formal, geek and unique, jewelry designs that are handmade with gemstone, pearl and crystal, made magical by accents of sterling silver and quality natural brass. Vanessa, better known as pink80sgirl, crafts a symphony of Victorian and vintage inspired designs. Putting one of her designs to the test, we purchased a necklace and then offered it to a friend who wore it to work. A fantastic 9 out of 10 people commented on the striking dragonfly necklace. The piece is a 25 x 18mm glass oval handmade cabochon, featuring a purple dragonfly. It sits inside a plain edged bezel setting, then mounted on a highly detailed Victorian filigree pendant. This lovely piece hangs from a pretty antiqued/oxidized brass chain measuring 18 inches including lobster clasp closure. This piece is nickel and lead free. With 520 positive reviews and an impressive ZERO negative reviews on her shopping site, this pink80’sgirl is a sure thing!
www.etsy.com/shop/pink80sgirl
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LGBT in
ca
p, m
any rm e G
” in psy gy “ of
Dachau concen trat
ion
America History has proven time and again that progress is rarely welcomed unanimously. So it is with LGBT life in America. Compelling and controversial, the civil rights saga spans geography and generations, binding each chapter to the last, embracing diversity, and building from blueprints yet undrawn.
U n ifo rm
Washington,
DC
by Edward Truth
The Lavender Scare The nation’s capitol knows scandal, as do our politicians. But nothing can come close to the tension felt during the McCarthy era—the mid-century postwar period also known as the Second Red Scare, during which thousands of Americans accused of sympathizing with Communism were investigated. Perhaps less well known is that suspected homosexuals were also targeted. Being gay at that time, Communist or not, made you an enemy of the state. This grim chapter in American history spawned works like David K. Johnson’s The Lavender Scare (2006), and Ina Russell’s Jeb and Dash (1994). Gays and lesbians had taken enough abuse. It was time to act. Two organizations formed in the wake of the Lavender Scare were The Mattachine Society and The Daughters of Bilitis.
The Mattachine Society The Mattachine Society got its name from the Middle Age court jesters who, from behind masks and costumes, made social commentary, normally forbidden to the public at large. Talking about homosexuality in the early 50s was strictly off limits. According to the Society’s original description, by the time the Mattachine Society of Washington was founded in 1961, the word had come to describe any organization “working to improve the status of the homosexual.” The document describes the Society as “a civil liberties, social action organization, dedicated to improving the status of the homosexual citizen through a vigorous program of action.” The Society founded in 1961 was a continuation of the California-based organization of the same name started in 1950 by Henry Hay—a politically active writer whose treatise on homosexuals as an oppressed minority had startled the public. A longtime member of the Communist Party, Hay designed a similar non-centralized structure for the Society, to protect information in the event of government
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intrusion. Hay resigned later due to political differences with new leadership, but not before strengthening the clout of the organization by successfully challenging the LAPD in an entrapment case.
The Daughters of Bilitis Just as the Lavender Scare and McCarthyism began to dwindle, another group was set to form. In 1955, Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon met with several other San Francisco female couples in the hopes of starting a regular social group. What grew from their gatherings was the first national lesbian organization in the U.S., the Daughters of Bilitis (DOB). By the early 60s, chapters had formed in other major cities and the organization’s monthly magazine, The Ladder, was well regarded in the community. The organization was known for its “living-room” discussions of issues near and dear to the lesbians, as well as women in general. The group got its name from “Songs of Bilitis,” an obscure 19th-century poem written by one of Sappho’s lovers. Because condemnation, ridicule and overt discrimination were commonplace in that day, for the Daughters, secrecy was key. The gay rights movement began small, with individuals courageous and creative enough to turn frustration and fear into activism. As lone seeds of dissent grew into organizations dedicated to protecting the rights of many, new interpretations of sexuality and community began to form within America. The nation’s capitol has served as incubator—and tribunal—for a civil rights battle that still wages to this day.
Edward Truth is a New York City-based journalist and critical theorist. Follow him on Twitter @EdwardTruth.
IMPORTANT DATES IN WASHINGTON, DC LGBT HISTORY* 1946 United States Attorney General for Washington, DC, George Fay, launches campaign for "sex perversion" laws, pushing to have habitual offenders committed to mental hospitals.
1970 The DC chapter of The Gay Liberation
1981 DC MPD begins sensitivity training
1971 Dr. Franklin E. Kameny is the first
1984 The Holocaust Museum recognizes the
Front is the first post-Stonewall gay activist group to be formed in DC, employing a new style of activism. The Lesbian feminist news journal, Off Our Backs, is published that same year.
1947 John Peurifoy leads U.S. State Department purge of homosexuals.
1948 Congress passes H.R. 6071, introduced by Rep. Miller (R-Neb) “to provide for the treatment of sexual psychopaths in the District of Columbia.” The bill, passed both houses and signed into law by President Truman, remained in effect and unaltered until it is repealed in 1995.
1951 Jack Lait and Lee Mortimer’s book,
Washington Confidential, becomes the underground guide to gay and lesbian DC.
1956 The California-based Mattachine Society opens an office in Washington, DC.
1961 Mattachine Society of Washington is
founded by Dr. Franklin E. Kameny, Eva Freund, Jack Nichols and others. Important partners of the Society include the NYC chapter of the Daughters of Bilitis, formed by Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon in 1958.
1965 The Mattachine Society of Washington
meets with the U.S. Civil Service Commission regarding homosexuals and federal employment. That same year the Society organizes the first gay picketing demonstration in front of the White House, helping to create a public awareness around gay and lesbian civil rights.
1966 The first local civil rights magazine, The
Homosexual Citizen, edited by Lilli Vincenz, is published and distributed nationally.
1967 CBS airs “The Homosexual”, a negative
portrait of homosexuals presented by news journalist Mike Wallace.
1968 Dr. Frank Kameny coins the slogan “Gay is Good”.
1969 The Washington Gay Blade is founded,
quickly becoming the community’s newspaper of record.
openly gay man to run in a political campaign in DC; his defeat leads to the formation of the Gay Activists Alliance. Kameny is later appointed to the DC Human Rights Commission in 1975, becoming the first openly gay or lesbian member of a city government or commission. The Open House, a safe setting for gay women, is started. The first local gay Protestant Christian congregation is formed.
1972
The Switchboard, the first community help and information resource, is organized. The first gay community center opens on 13th St NW. The landmark DC School Board resolution extends civil rights protection to homosexuals.
1973 Title 34 rights protection is adopted. It
is the first citywide human rights ordiance that protects gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender people and “drags”, becoming the basis of anti-discrimination lawsuits and protests. Title 34 is later re-enacted as the Human Rights Act of 1977. The Board of the American Psychiatric Association is successfully pressured to remove homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses.
1975 Deacon Maccubbin organizes DC’s first annual gay pride celebration.
1978 The Walt Whitman Republican Club
is formed, later changing its name to the Capital Area Log Cabin Club. The national organization for black gays and lesbians is formed. Whitman Walker Clinic is organized. That same year, 3000 protesters demonstrate against Anita Bryant, making it the largest LGBT public protest to date.
1979 Georgetown University refuses to charter gay student groups. BlackLight, the first major magazine for DC black gays and lesbians, is published with Sidney Brinkley at the helm.
around LGBT issues. The first AIDS case in DC is covered by The Blade. Whitman-Walker Clinic begins educating the community about HIV and HIV prevention the following year.
Nazi persecution of gays and lesbians.
1987 The National Mall AIDS Quilt display contextualizes the epidemic for the first time. The quilt is displayed in its entirety for the last time in 1996. The second March on Washington is held.
1990 Craig Dean and Patrick Gill sue DC for the right to marry. ACT UP organizes protests over AIDS research priorities at NIH.
1993 The third March on Washington is held.
Whitman-Walker Clinic opens the Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center on 14th St NW. Private consensual sodomy is legalized.
1994 Randy Shulman and Sean Bugg found MetroWeekly Magazine.
1996 The first Washington DC AIDS Ride raises $4.5 million for AIDS organizations.
1997 David Catania (R) is elected to the DC
Council, becoming the first gay or lesbian council member in DC.
1999 The gay Muslim organization founded by Faisal Alam, Al-Fatihah, establishes a DC chapter.
2000 The Millennium March on Washington is held.
2001 Domestic Partnership benefits begin for DC couples.
2002 Miriam Saez becomes the first Latina
and out lesbian appointed to the DC School Board. DC begins registering domestic partners.
2003 United States Supreme Court overturns state sodomy laws.
2009 The District of Columbia extends the right to marry to same-sex DC couples, following a Washington, DC Council vote in favor of marriage equality.
*Timeline information obtained from Rainbow History Project (Dedicated to collecting, preserving, and promoting an active knowledge of the history, arts, and culture relevant to sexually diverse communities in metropolitan Washington DC)
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“A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam. And for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could so lucky to have seen it.”
have stayed, we feel
of the organization since he lost his partner in 2009. Walt says “being around the people who understand, is what drove him to continue coming back to HOPE.” Walt shared his heartwarming story of the passing of his loved one and during this dialog, I understood that with the help of the organization, Walt had come to a place of acceptance and gratitude. He shared that because of the path God has chosen for him, his priorities in life have changed for the better. Walt takes great pride in the service work at HOPE and explains that he is able to rest easy at night knowing he was able to share his experience and possibly make a difference in someone’s life.
The butterfly has long been a Christian symbol of resurrection; it disappears into a cocoon and appears dead, but emerges later and is far more beautiful and powerful than before. So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 15:42-44) When dealing with the loss of a loved one, know that there is help and hope as you struggle through the stages of grief. The five stages of grief is a theory that was first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. The popular theory describes in five distinct stages, how people deal with grief and tragedy. The five stages include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Therese Schoeneck founded HOPE FOR BEREAVED, Inc. in 1978 after the death of her daughter, Mary, who passed from a tragic car accident. At the time, Central New York did not have a support group available for parents dealing with the death of a child. Determined that something positive would come from Mary’s death, she formed a bereaved parents’ support group. HOPE FOR BEREAVED provides support and hope to thousands of grieving children, adults and families each year by offering one-on-one counseling, support groups, telephone helplines, and a newsletter, free-of-charge to the bereaved. HOPE’s services and resources are used locally, nationally and internationally.
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When Walt began attending the support groups in 2009, although he personally felt content and welcomed sitting in the support groups in order to cope with his own five stages of grief, he and others in the organization felt that a specific LGBT support group might attract those who may not feel as comfortable.
Connextions visited the HOPE FOR BEREAVED, Inc. organization and was given a whole new understanding of the support and resources available for the grieving. Therese tell us “We don’t support death, we support the survivors.” She went on to quote Sigmund Freud who said, “One hour of grief is like digging a ditch for eight hours.” During our visit, we also had the pleasure of speaking with Walt Stein, who has been a volunteer member
Together, HOPE and the SAGE organization host a monthly LGBT Bereavement support group. Sage Upstate is a not-for-profit organization that promotes the health and well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning people in Central New York as they age. The annual fundraiser for HOPE will be held on November 9, 2012 at the OnCenter and includes silent and live auctions, music, dancing and dinner.
For more information, visit: hopeforbereaved.com
www.purpleroofs.com
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An Unlikely Ally Written by: LFA Turppa
I truly believe in the equality of the human spirit, and that “equal rights” means “human rights”.
I’m gay. I’m out and I’m proud. I go to OutRaleigh events, I march in Gay Pride Parades, I voted against Amendment One, and on occasion I even participate in drag shows, just for the hell of it. I wasn’t always this way. When I was younger, I lived under the oppressive boot of my father. My mother did nothing to curb his behavior; I suppose she enabled him. I was too sensitive, too scrawny, too brainy… each of these things he tried to beat out of me after drinking a fifth of Jack every night after work. I got into trouble at school-fights, bullies picking on me, kids calling me names because of my sensitive disposition and the fact that I actually cared about my hygiene. He had his say about that, too. He said it with his belt; his belt and I became very well acquainted. Sissy. Fag. Homo. The names still haunt me. Sticks and stones, I know; try explaining that to an eight year old who heard it at school, then came home and heard it there too. When all he did was try to explain the fights weren’t his fault, he was only defending himself? Against what, you little fag? Damn sissy… ! THWACK with the metal business end of the belt across any part of my body unprotected by cloth. Before I go any further, you must remember, this was the 90s, when kids were committing suicide for being hassled about their sexual orientation. Even the suspicion of being gay could land you in a locker for a couple classes, if not worse.
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I grew older, stronger. I took up sports, and because I was fitting into a societal norm, the kids at school quit picking on me. The name-calling stopped, despite the constant aberrations from my father; in fact, he was the only one who still bothered. When I was sure my jock buddies were nowhere around, I snuck into and sat in on anything having to do with the Arts. How I longed to be a part of that crowd. To express that inner intelligence, that wisp of creativity that had so long been beaten into repression. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying only gays are into the Arts, nor am I saying that you have to be gay to be accepted into the Arts community. What I’m saying is that for me, being gay, and a jock, was unappealing. In fact, two of my teammates were gay- one, peeking out of the closet, while the other was hidden so far inside it he may as well have been in Narnia! At any rate, the repressed homosexuality, the repressed creativity? It began eating away at me, carving out scars, deep in my soul. My father still tried to beat me, but because I had become bigger and stronger than him, he was less successful. He still made strides, adapting new forms of abuse. He threw things or, whipped his belt, at me, even going so far as lunging his own body at me. There ‘of course’ was the psychological abuse, which was on a daily basis; name calling and putting me down. Sports, as well as my clandestine Arts indulgences, helped me keep my head on straight. In my sophomore year, my mom died. Car accident. I wish I could say I was upset about it, but I wasn’t. The fact that she stood by, for so
long, while my father abused and harassed me, without stopping him, and her general feeling of indifference towards me, was abuse in its own right. The only thing I had to contend with, after that, was my father. Thankfully I was coming of age, and could emancipate myself from him, something I would have done whether or not she had died. You also might be asking why I didn’t go to anybody for help… Social Services perhaps. Back in my day, they didn’t have such a thing, except for extreme cases of neglect; the one area of my life where I had no cause for complaint. I had a roof over my head, food in my belly and clothes on my back. All I needed was a lawyer. I’d had a job since I was fourteen; helping the neighbors with yard work. This led to a job offer from one of them; he was the owner of a landscaping company and had been impressed with my work ethic. Obviously there was only so much I could do because of Child Labor Laws, but it was more than enough for me. I saved every cent, putting it into an account my grandfather opened for me when I was a child; my parents had no access to it so I knew it would be safe. The only reason I even knew I had an account to begin with is because I’d gone into the bank, at fourteen, to open one, and the woman assisting me told me I couldn’t have one without an adult co-signer. She then proceeded to tell me, with a confused look, that I already had one. Allow me to tell you something about my grandfather. Because of my father’s domineering nature, I didn’t get to see him. Ever. My grandfather was my father’s dad,
and I guess they didn’t see eye to eye. I got an occasional birthday card, with a check, or money in it, which my dad promptly stole, ripping up the card afterwards, throwing the pieces at me. Why they never got along, I’ll never know. Or so I thought. The account was the tip of the iceberg. While contacting lawyers about my situation, I was told that as long as I had a relative I could live with, I should search out that option before emancipation, considering the cost was so steep. Being that my grandfather was of a different generation, and likely to be prejudiced, I braced for the worst case scenario. I went into it knowing there was a chance he would kick me to the curb, and I was okay with that. At least I had reached out, right? My grandfather stood in the doorway, staring at me, his brown eyes welling with tears, his wrinkled face turning upwards into a smile as he recognized me. “Edward? Eddie! Is that you? Come in here, boy!” He held open the screen door as I passed through it. We embraced for a long while. “I can see your father’s face on you. Unfortunately, that’s the only way I recognize ya!” He hobbled slowly into the kitchen, offering me a Coke, or a Pepsi.
“I’ll take a Coke, thanks.” I sat at the kitchen table, unsure how to start.
in order to keep secret, some of the men you’d sleep with would be in on the beatings.”
He brought two Cokes and joined me. “What’s on your mind, son?”
“How horrible!”
He nodded, understanding. “I tried to teach him otherwise. But your dad’s a tough nut to crack.”
He nodded. “I hated to see it, so I stayed away from the drama of it all. Once my four years were up, I moved back home and tried to make a go of it. Unfortunately, the people here were even less tolerant. I was a war hero, and a baby boomer. I had no other choice but to take a wife and start a family.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Weren’t you unhappy?”
“You know, I loved your grandmother a great deal,” he said, his eyes roving over the family photos sitting on the sideboard. “She was a wonderful woman, and a great mother to my children. She even tolerated who I was.”
He shook his head, smiling. “As I said, rest her heart, Ruby was very understanding.”
“I need help. My dad is intolerant of who I am,” I started slowly. I tapped on the top of the can and opened the tab, sipping the cool soda.
“What do you mean?” I had an odd feeling about the direction of this conversation. “I’m a friend of Dorothy. Have been all my life, just never really knew it ‘til I joined up. It was more common in the barracks then you might think. You still had to be careful, of course. There were still those who would bash your brains in for it as soon as they would fight beside you the next day. Pathetic, really. In fact,” he paused to take a drink, “sometimes,
“Why are you telling me this ,Grandpa?” “Because I want you to come live with me.” So I did. I moved out of my father’s house and never looked back. I finished out high school, went to college, and even took up some of those Liberal Arts classes I wanted. I have a degree in photography, and became a part of the “It Gets Better” Movement. And aside from a few narrow minded bigots here and there, it really does get better.
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Diana Chittester teams up with PFLAG Cleveland native
Diana Chittester is a regionally based musician out of Cleveland, Ohio, who tours throughout the Great Lakes. Previously opening for artists including; Melissa Ferrick, BITCH, Catie Curtis, Kim Simmonds of Savoy Brown, Kelly Richey and Jennifer Batten, Diana has gone on to headline her own shows at venues such as the House of Blues and the Winchester Music Hall.
R
eleasing her first full length album in May 2012, In This Skin, embraces the roots of folk music, while adding an edgy attitude to the genre. Pounding out explosive rhythms and intricate leads, she allows her guitar style to headline. Ready to face the tensions of expressive lyrical content, In This Skin, boldly addresses topics taboo to the general masses. Challenging her religiously structured childhood and examining the intimacy of her relationships, Chittester speaks openly about her experiences and their impacts. Her new CD is now available on iTunes and can be heard on Spotify. Diana and her label, Fighting Chance Records, recently partnered with Cleveland PFLAG in an effort to raise money and awareness for a cause that hits close to home. Diana is donating 50% of profits from CD sales directly back to the organization.
For tour dates and live video recordings (which I highly recommend you check out), visit www.dianachittester.com.
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stugallagherphotography.com
portraits | weddings | landscapes | food & wine | concerts
www.nakedcowgirlfox.com
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Photo courtesy: Rula Kanawati Photography
Home
There’s No Place Like
by Allison Hogue
photo courtesy Todd McGrain
any readers of this periodical were raised in houses in the vast sub-divisions from Sea to Shining Sea that were built during the post WWII era. As described by Malvina Reynolds in her insightful song “Little Boxes” those houses were “all made out of ticky tacky and they all looked just the same”. Eventually contemporary designed homes began to appear and the “family room” made its way onto the list of needed rooms for home buyers. That list of necessary rooms continues to change as we continue to become more aware of how we live and how to best utilize the space we live in. When I was a kid our family room was located off on its own with a door that could be shut to keep the noise from us kids out. Today many buyers are looking for open floor plans that allow everyone to be in the same area doing different activities all at once. Maybe all the intense therapy of the past 50 years has not only helped relationships but it has helped the way we live! The National Association of Home Builders reports that more that 40% of new homes are now built without a formal living room. They also report that the average size of new homes being built has started to level off at 2500 sq ft. Additionally, design and sustainability are cited as two of the most important features in a new home. One of my current listings expands on the idea that the home you purchase can be as unique and filled with as much character as you. It’s is a 2700 sq ft home with only one bedroom and includes a 1000 sq ft artist’s studio. The sellers are artists that designed and built the home around their own lifestyle. The home has stunning views of Cayuga Lake in Upstate New York from the main living area. So they decided that is where they not only wanted to live, but it is where they wanted to sleep, and wake up. They had a queen sized Murphy bed designed, built and installed in the main living area by a master craftsman. As one owner says, “who wouldn’t want to wake up to this view?” Not everyone that I show the house to is so comfortable with this urban, loft-style-living-inthe-country setting, but others find it inspiring and it’s minimalism freeing.
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When working with buyers, I like to suggest that before we start looking at homes that they sit down and write a list of adjectives that describe the type of experience they want to call home. Then I ask them to add pictures to those words, ripped out of magazines, allowing me to see what home looks like to them. If changing where you live is in your future, start finding the words and pictures now that clearly communicate what you want home to be. Not just the number of bedrooms and baths, but how it feels and how you will feel in it. How the people in your life will move and interact in the space you call home. The more you can communicate what home looks like to you, the more likely you are to find it. And we all know there is no place like home.
Allison Hogue is a licensed NYS Real Estate Agent with Warren Real Estate in Ithaca, NY. She can be reached via email at Allison@WarrenHomes.com
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Connextions elieve t or
Believing that you have the power to change your life is the first step. There are millions of practices, such as religion and even alcoholics anonymous, that reinforce believing in a power greater than yourself. Some choose to call that power God or Buddha, and some would say that sitting in a large room full of people, is a power greater than themselves. Have you heard the term, “there is strength in numbers?” Strength… power… energy – it all comes down to a ‘connection.’ A connecting of the energy that you either put into your belief, sometimes called ‘faith,’ or a connection of energy in a crowded room of people who are gathering for a single purpose. That energy can be very intense, or rather ‘strong.’
traditional folk magic called hoodoo. The goal of hoodoo is to improve one’s quality of life by working with the natural world to assist in such areas as money, love, health, employment, personal power, and success. Use of herbs and minerals, as well as contact with ancestors or other spirits of the dead is an important practice within the conjure tradition, and the recitation of scriptural incantations is also considered magically effective in hoodoo. Due to hoodoo's great emphasis on each individual's own power within themselves, its basic principles are generally felt to be easily adapted, based on one's desires, inclinations and goals.
We recently sat down with Khi Armand in his Brooklyn apartment, to discuss his beliefs and how he uses his positive energy to help others. Khi, a recent Masters graduate with a degree in Performance Studies from NYU, practices a
I am an OUT activist, originally from Queens, interested in travel and indigenous rights. Most recently, I spent about a month in Mexico, studying arts and activism, and have spent time in South Dakota on Pine Ridge
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Who is Khi Armand?
ot
Reservation, researching American Indian two-spirit roles, which has formed a huge part of my foundation in research. I am scheduled to be at an academic conference in Brazil this coming January, and I just received a religious studies scholarship to be in Nashville this August from the HRC. How did your involvement in hoodoo begin? I’d practiced European witchcraft and led Wiccan ceremonies for many years, and I discovered hoodoo through the Lucky Mojo Curio Company’s extensive web presence and began practicing it on my own. While I was studying the Unnamed Path, a shamanic tradition for Men-Who-Love-Men, with founder, Eddy Gutierrez, he encouraged me to make my practice public. I have a shamanic calling on my life and there are things I can’t run away from, certain duties I have to fulfill, and certain people I have to make myself available to, as they come into my life.
Do all of your clients ‘believe’ in the hoodoo magic?
Can you tell us the difference between Voodoo and Hoodoo?
I get a mix of both, clients who fully believe and have a background in hoodoo or other magical traditions, as well as clients who are unsure, but maintain an open mind.
Hoodoo is African American folk magic, derived primarily from the southern part of the United States and practices how to influence yourself and the world around you. People seem to be attracted to hoodoo because of its flexibility and non-denominational status. Some believe that the bible has magical powers, others do not use the bible and take more of a spiritual path within the practice.
A client testimonial: "I can easily say that the reading I received from Khi was one of the best I’ve ever had. The combination of his knowledge of the cards and his deep connection to the spirit world, resulted in a truly profound and wonderful experience. To this day I’m still thinking about that reading and the ripples it has spread throughout my life." Can you tell us what services you provide to your clients? I offer psychic readings with tarot cards and/ or a ‘casting of the bones.’ The animal bones are thrown onto goat skin and I am able to read the patterns, once the bones have fallen into place. For the record, I do not sacrifice animals, as the media might like to portray, most herbs, minerals, oils, and bones, can be purchased sustainably from local vendors, and I do wild-harvest some of my own supplies. I had an interesting reading a couple weeks ago where a young woman was talking to me about a relationship she has been in for 4 years, but doesn’t feel it’s moving forward. I told her that he may not be the one for her, and the key to finding success in love had to do with her mother. A few moments later, she told me that every reader she has been to in the past, has told her that there is a curse on her mother from before she was born. We realized that her roads in life have been blocked due to this curse, which then gave us the ability to work on and resolve her relationship issues.
Voodoo, derived mainly from Haiti (granted official religious status in 2003), is a religious cult involving witchcraft and communication by trance with ancestors and animistic deities. Vodouisants believe in a supreme being called Bondye, but also worship many lesser spirits, as the loa. What do you say to potential clients when they are looking for some type of validation that you are a certified hoodoo witch doctor, and not a phony looking to make a quick buck? I am affiliated with the Association of Independent Readers & Rootworkers, which offers an enormous amount of credibility in my line of work. Honestly, if someone is a hardcore skeptic, I would kindly ask that they not knock on my door, because I have would rather spend my time working with clients who are ready to work with me toward transformation. I have
certainly read for people who were once skeptic, but after telling them information that there was no way I had any knowledge of, they soon became believers. No practitioner who claims “guaranteed results” should be trusted. Can a doctor guarantee she will cure you? What I can guarantee is compassion, an honest assessment of your situation, practical advice, and the assurance that I do my best to catalyze a positive change in the lives of all my clients. “We have grown up in a society that has disenchanted everything, but there are people who remember that the world is full of life and power. We need to remember our life, our power. I try to be a lighthouse among a disempowered people.” -Khi Armand Khi Armand is a Psychic Intuitive & Urban Shaman, providing revolutionary services of insight, renewal, and manifestation, as well as a purveyor of time-honored and innovative talismans and tools prepared in the Southern Conjure Hoodoo tradition. Khi handcrafts spiritual medicine, empowered to transform your circumstance and help you achieve your goals.
Learn more about Khi through his website at www.conjureinthecity.com
Another woman came looking for a general psychic reading, but the moment I started reading her cards, I saw that she has a friend who was really jealous of her because she is getting married, and this friend is actively doing work to do her harm. This wasn’t the reading she expected, but it’s really about going into each session without any expectations and letting the spirits guide each reading. I provide assistance in the following areas: Spiritual Counseling & Growth; Spiritual Cleansing, Uncrossing, & Removal of Curses; Self-Esteem, Self-Love, & Confidence; Road Opening, Career, & Personal Success; Money, Finances, & Prosperity; Love & Partner Reconciliation; Creativity & Dreams; Justice & Court Cases; Blessing & Protection; Bindings & Reversals.
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In Review The Hanged Man
Metro Weekly
Book
The stories offer crime, moral complexity, and themes of social justice, in the LGBTQI genre, with a strong, intelligent, and compassionate hero. The Hanged Man is the first book in the Gabriel’s World series, and is on sale now. The official website GabrielsWorld.com offers an expanded reader experience and interactive elements. The Hanged Man is an unpredictable thrill ride from beginning to end. Astrid Fiano manages to touch on many different stereotypes in the shoes of her main character, Gabriel. As you read the 476 page novel, you find yourself cheering for Gabriel and his exciting journey. Personally, I appreciate the large font and double spacing, as well as the creative sub-title explanation that is delivered with each chapter. This is an entertaining mystery, one of which, you will not soon forget. I found myself thinking about the story long after I was done reading it, and looking forward to the upcoming sequel. Available at Amazon and CreateSpace. Review by Mary Reed, Contributor
Magazine
Gabriel’s World is a mystery/thriller fiction series, that features Gabriel Ross, a NYC private investigator.
Metro Weekly has served the Washington, D.C.'s gay and lesbian community since 1994, and is now the largest and longest-running LGBT publication and website in the region. The print edition is published every Thursday, and copies can be picked up for free at more than 500 distribution points. Metro Weekly is a glossy-covered magazine, read by more than 45,000 people in D.C., M.D. & V.A., and is nationally recognized for its lively feature stories and interviews. Readers also turn to Metro Weekly magazine for its reliable community event calendars, nightlife guides, and timely reviews that cover the District's rich arts and entertainment scene. A favorite among the locals, this publication is packed with news, entertainment and travel information. Metro Weekly offers impressive coverage of all that the area has to offer, as well as a remarkable website, that includes a copy of all their recent magazines and every article within. Obviously, attention to detail and a lot of dedication go into the daily operations at Metro Weekly. metroweekly.com
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Lori Michaels has been EXPOSED!
Roxette is still Rockin’
Lori Michaels, the sexy, sultry, savvy entertaining diva has recently released a 5-song EP. Lori tell us that these songs, which have been closeted since 2008, are a raw release of true emotions, and have been produced in a very organic quality, hence the title of the EP, Exposed. After listening to the EP, one of two things may happen – either a run for the box of tissues, or a run into your partner’s arms for some long overdue cuddling. I’m guessing this will depend on your relationship status.
Three years after their 2009 comeback album, the 1990's pop sensation music duo from Sweden is back in action! Roxette, the international act composed of Marie Fredriksson and Per Gessle, brings us a new album with a new sound, but maintains that underlying familiar resemblance to the unique and unforgettable style that so many of us remember. I have fond memories that bring back a smile, as I remember singing “She’s Got The Look, Na na na na na” as loud as possible with all my girlfriends, in the car or at the bar. The new album, titled Travelling, includes 15 tracks and is inspired by the band’s ongoing world tour.
Photo courtesy: Rula Kanawati Photography
And although her live performances have been dubbed as ‘legendary,’ don’t expect to see her perform anytime soon. Her attention, at the moment, has shifted from the artistic song and dance, to her record label/ management/production company, Lori Michaels Productions. Confident and classy Michaels runs a multi-faceted entertainment company, elevating dance/fitness and music instruction & performance to a whole new level.
Music
Roxette’s world tour is in full swing with almost one million concert tickets sold since the tour kicked off a year ago. On top of that, another million Roxette records have been added to the already dizzying 70 million they’ve sold over the years. In July and August, catch Roxette on tour in the UK, Ireland, Norway, Switzerland, Romania, Poland, and Finland. By September, Roxette hits North America with tour dates in Canada and the USA, including California, Boston, and New York.
Lori’s commitment and dedication to every task should certainly be the envy of every career-minded business woman… or man. Check out her latest EP on iTunes or visit: www.LoriMichaelsproductions.com
Get the latest scoop on Roxette by visiting: http://www.roxette.se facebook.com/RealRoxette twitter.com/partypleaser
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fighting for
V
eteran author and AIDS activist Sarah Schulman recalls a time when “out” writers were completely removed from American fiction, and how gay and lesbian literature was marginalized as a result. Schulman co-founded the Queer Experimental Film Festival, in part, to address the massive information vacuum created around the AIDS crisis, both within her native New York City and abroad. She’s written extensively about the crisis, the product of decades of experience and a response to the mainstream media refusal to acknowledge the monumental loss around the pandemic—an estimated 80,000 deaths in NYC alone. But to Schulman, the AIDS crisis isn’t about what could have been. She sees an America on the brink of change, and wants to empower a new generation with truth and transparency. Schulman’s new feature film, United In Anger: A History of ACT UP, dares to tell the true story of what happened during those fateful years. Connextions caught
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up with the busy 53- year-old at her girlfriend’s residence in Toronto to talk about the film, her new book, and how the fight to end AIDS is just the beginning. You don't have much biographical information available on the web. How personal do you get with strangers? I don’t have a website, simply because I couldn’t figure out how to represent myself visually. A comprehensive profile can be found on Wikipedia, which I wrote and others have added the documentation. I have no problem telling you anything you want to know about me. How and when did you publish your first novels? I was born in 1958 and when I was 24, I wrote a lesbian detective novel, and at that time, there was no established genre for this type of book.
I had a girlfriend, who had a girlfriend, who worked for Scribner, a big publisher at that time. She took my manuscript, put it in an envelope with a letter, written on Scribner’s letterhead and sent it to Naiad. And because they thought it had been sent by Scribner’s, my novel was published. But really it was just this dyke that was working as a temp, who delivered it to the right publisher. So, my first book, The Sophie Horowitz Story, was published in 1984 by Naiad Press. (Naiad Press, founded in 1973, was one of the first publishing companies dedicated to lesbian literature. Naiad was sold to Bella Books in 2003. At its closing, it was the oldest and largest lesbian/feminist publisher in the world.) The second book I wrote was called Girls, Visions and Everything and Naiad thought it was too experimental, so it was rejected for publishing. Seal Press was a feminist publisher out of Seattle, Washington, who came to me and
asked if I had anything ready to be published, so I gave them my book that had been rejected, and they published it in 1986…it is still in print today. So many things in my life have happened just because of lesbians wandering the streets. Back in the late 1980’s, I was in a health food store and this woman who I didn’t know, just came up to me and said, “I have a friend who is a dyke, who just got a job at Dutton and you should send her something.” This friend happened to be Carole De Santi, who was one of the first out lesbian Editors. Carole bought my book, After Delores, for $5,000.00 and I believe it was the first time that this kind of lesbian novel was published by mainstream press and received rave reviews from the NY Times. How did the lesbian publishing industry change in the early 1990s?
“
“
From 1981 to 1985, 40,000 people died of AIDS in NYC.
By this time, a few editors had begun to publish lesbian novels fairly regularly, and there were 6-8 new books being printed each year by mainstream publishers. So what happened was this cultural reaction within this industry. They started ‘niche marketing’ because the culture was not ready to accept lesbian books as American literature. For example, Barnes & Noble started taking over the territory and knocking out the independent bookstores. They created a gay and lesbian section within the stores, which was very detrimental to writers such as myself. If you had the integrity to be openly OUT at work, they took your book off the fiction shelf and now placed it on the gay and lesbian shelf. Whereas, the people who were closeted in their work, got to remain on the fiction shelf. The gay section was always on the 4th floor, behind the potted plants. In essence, OUT writers were totally removed from American fiction, and all of this ‘niching’ was taking place, that was basically marginalizing our literature. As of now, in the US, hardly any lesbian novels are published in the mainstream. I was a judge at the Lambda Literary Awards this year in the lesbian fiction category. I don’t think any of the finalists were from mainstream publishers. It’s interesting when you look at Canada, because they have a lot of lesbian literary fiction because they have government subsidy. So right now, lesbian literary fiction doesn’t exist in the United States, the choices are British imports from authors such as Jeanette Winterson or Sarah Waters. You can find lesbian romance novels but no literary fiction. I wrote a book called Stage Struck and it’s about how the gay political movement was being turned into a consumer group to be niche-marketed. I had studied some of the earliest Ad agencies that
had developed ad campaigns aimed at gay people. In their portfolios, they stated that gay consumers are the most brand loyal consumers in the American marketplace because they had been treated so badly by so many people that if some product tells them that they like them, they become emotionally attached to that product. It’s a lot of psychological maneuvering. Can you describe the moment when you decided to write about, to document, the AIDS crisis? There used to be a lot of different community newspapers. I was writing for several of them at the same time, including The New York Native, which was the gay male newspaper; Woman News, which was the feminist newspaper; The Guardian, which was the Marxist news weekly that came out of NY; and Gay Community News, which was the mixed male/female socialist newspaper out of Boston. Because of my involvement with all these newspapers, and by total coincidence, I covered the closing of the bathhouses, which was the first time New York City responded to the AIDS crisis. I interviewed everyone across the board, asking if we should close these bathhouses. No one knew what was right, but now, I think we all know that closing these bathhouses was a disaster, because they had a place where all these men were going to have sex and information could have been given to each of the houses to better inform the community of AIDS. But instead, closing them drove everyone underground. Who knows how many people died because the bathhouses were closed. From 1981 to 1985, 40,000 people died of AIDS. A lot of the people who were involved in the early years of the AIDS crisis, have died. So the amount of people with this longevity view of the crisis is quite small because of the death attrition. Because of the amount of knowledge I have, I feel a sense of responsibility to share it. I have since written novels and non-fiction books relating to the AIDS crisis. ACT UP New York and the ACT UP Oral History Project are organizations committed to taking action and documenting the actions against fighting to end the AIDS epidemic. How did you get involved with these organizations? ACT UP New York is a diverse, non-partisan group of individuals united in anger and committed to direct action to end the AIDS crisis. It was founded in Feb of 1987 and I joined the organization in July of that same year. I founded the Queer Experimental Film Festival with my collaborator of many years, Jim Hubbard. We realized nobody had historicized the AIDS activists. So many people died and there was so
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much chaos, along with the terrible mainstream media coverage, that nobody really knew what happened. How can a country lose 500,000 people and nobody blinks or discusses what it means to the Nation? Compare the 80,000 people that have died in New York City of AIDS and the 3,000 people that died during the 9/11 terrorist attacks. There are memorials everywhere, the names of the deceased are read and remembered every year and their survivors received monetary compensation for their loss. The 80,000 that died of AIDS are never mentioned. So far we have interviewed 135 surviving members of ACT UP New York. To date, 90,000 people have downloaded their transcripts. Jim, who is a filmmaker, has been preserving archival footage from the day. We just finished a feature film called United in Anger, a history of ACT UP. It will be showing around the country. The message of ACT UP is more than just a fight to end the AIDS crisis. There are so many people in America who are crying for change right now but they don’t know how to make it happen. The movie shows the specifics of HOW this change can happen. There are three steps to the process.
•• Educate yourself so that you are the expert on your issue, so that you know more than your opposition. •• Make proposals that are reasonable, doable and winnable. •• When the powers that be refuse you, you have to take direct non-violent action so that you communicate through the media, thereby forcing them to adjust. An example of direct action: During the era of segregated lunch counters, when black people were not allowed to sit in white-only sections, instead of marching in front with signs reading “black people should be able to sit in whiteonly sections,” they would take ‘direct action’ which would be to go in and actually sit at the white-only counter, thereby integrating the lunch counter. Of course, we’ve all seen the footage of them getting beaten and arrested but they took an action, non-violently, that actually transformed the situation. It was so dramatic that the laws would eventually change. An ACTUP example of non-violent direct action was during the height of the AIDS crisis in NYC, when the Catholic church members
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started becoming part of the public school Board of Directors. They succeeded in passing school laws that prohibited the distribution of condoms in public schools. ACT UP knew that people would die due to these laws, so during our largest demonstration, we went inside St. Patrick’s Cathedral and disrupted mass. Today, condoms are available in public schools. Change can happen but it takes direct action. You don’t need a majority, just a critical mass of dedicated and objective people. Your activism work spreads all the way to Palestine. How and why did you get involved with the queer groups in Israel?
Although I am Jewish, growing up in NYC, I never really identified with Israel, but in 2010, I was invited to give a keynote address at Lesbian and Gay Studies Conference at the Tel Aviv University, because I had just written a book called Ties That Bind about familial homophobia. Due to a boycott led by the Palestinians, going on at the time of this conference, to all institutions that are connected to the Israel government, I declined giving a speech at Tel Aviv University. I did, however, end up in Palestine and met with three queer organizations about their politics. The following year, I raised $40,000 and organized a six-city tour of America for two women and a man from Palestine so they could engage with the gay community in the US about being part of the global queer community. For more information on Palestinian Queers for Boycott and a video by Omar Barghouti and myself, during his visit to NY, click to Grit TV at http:// grittv.org/2011/04/12/omar-barghouti-sarahschulman-equal-rights-for-all-in-palestine/ What can we look forward to in the months to come? I have a new book coming out in November, Israel/ Palestine and the Queer International, about the rise of the Palestinian queer movement and how it affects Palestinian politics, Israeli politics and global queer politics, and about my own personal process of deciding to understand.
Next April, I’m hosting a conference on ‘pinkwashing’ at City University in NY. This is the progressive Israelis, Americans, queer Palestinians and people from all over the world, working together to try to change the situation.
published
Schulman’s article for the NY Times, in November 2011, gives a brief but descriptive overview of Israel and pinkwashing. http://www. nytimes.com/2011/11/23/opinion/pinkwashingand-israels-use-of-gays-as-a-messaging-tool.html Schulman’s next book, Israel/Palestine and the Queer International, is forthcoming from Duke University Press.
Published books by
Sarah Schulman Novels • The Cosmopolitans (forthcoming) • The Mere Future (2009) • The Child (2007) • Shimmer (1998)
• Rat Bohemia (1995) - traduzido para o português (Boemia dos Ratos) • Empathy (1992) • People in Trouble (1990) • After Delores (1988) • Girls, Visions and Everything (1986) • The Sophie Horowitz Story (1984) • Collected Early Novels of Sarah Schulman (1998)
Nonfiction • Israel/Palestine and the Queer International (2012) • The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination (2012) • Ties that Bind: Familial Homophobia and Its Consequences (2009) • Stagetruck: Theater, AIDS, and the Marketing of Gay America (1998) • My American History: Lesbian and Gay Life During the Reagan/Bush Years (1994)
In Review The Gentrification of the Mind:
Witness to a Lost Imagination
In The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination, author, activist and historian Sarah Schulman shows us the scorched surface of the earth, much like Morpheus did with Neo, so that we might see, with our own eyes, the consequences of the last 30 years of urban renewal—to see how our collective identity was forced out while consumerism trickled down through our institutions, communities and identities, colonizing our minds in "body-snatcher" fashion, even as we slept. To the author, this current cultural moment is much more profound than we know. Just as the AIDS crisis took a generation of our best artists, mentors and producers, government inaction left our communities and identities vulnerable to the private sector predation that continues unchecked to this day. AIDS produced—along with hysteria, stigma, resentment and death—an abundance of urban space to be occupied by the dominant culture. For decades, climbing costs and corporatist doctrine waged a silent war against genuine artistry and invention, pricing out the young, and marginalizing the city's vibrant history to the point of invisibility. During this time, our communities were replaced with homogenous neighborhoods and conformist states of mind, meant to preserve consumerism and the dominant culture that lay subservient to it. Say that corporatism destroyed America and most people won't flinch, because the word has become, whether we like it or not, a cliché—a euphemism for organized evil—a breeding ground for the worst elements of human behavior—protected, predictable, ubiquitous and deceptively benign. Say that corporatism leveled our communities and our identities, colonized them with consumerism, homogeny and compliance then made us forget, and you have a recipe for revolution. But is it already too late? Schulman says it's still possible (probable even) that we'll recover from gentrification—the removal and replacement of people, histories and ideas in urban centers, politics, art and thought—to return
by Edward Truth
to a cultural moment rooted more in consciousness and social cohesion than in conformity and material possession. Gentrification. At some point, the word came to symbolize the beautification and "stabilization" of our communities. But with urban gentrification, diversity and social cohesion were the values hardest hit. To the gentrified mind, self-identity and empowerment are no match for the desire to belong—a condition once reserved for suburban sprawl that now leaches cultural complexity and innovation from our cities. Gentrification represents a systematic dismantling of the human spirit—first authenticity, then memory, now autonomy. Schulman describes her work as a personal intellectual memoir, not an academic book, but to enlightened readers struggling through the current paradigm, The Gentrification of the Mind is a poignant call to action. It's easy to dismiss the spiritual vacuum of mass culture and corporatism as a sustained collective lapse in judgment, or as the byproduct of rampant materialism, or a side effect of seeing our reflection in technology with unprecedented clarity; or maybe it's ideology and circumstance recycling itself too thin. Whichever theory you prefer cannot adequately represent what Schulman calls "an internal replacement that alienated people from the concrete process of social and artistic change." So, it would seem, the power of redemption lies within us. The Gentrification of the Mind takes into account supremacy ideology, marriage equality, literature, urbanism and politics, offering numerous solutions, practical and theoretical, with which to avoid further loss. Most importantly, Gentrification makes an astonishing connection between the AIDS crisis, urban reorganization and corporate colonization, shining a beacon far and wide for those of us who find ourselves "still attracted to justice." List Price $27.95 Hardcover, 192 pages University of California Press
Edward Truth tells it like it is. Follow him on Twitter @EdwardTruth.
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W
Clyde’s Restaurant
ith 14 restaurants throughout the Washington DC area, each having their own unique style, but keeping the same high standards for cleanliness, fresh produce and the finest meats, Clyde’s is a favorite among the natives and a must-stop for visitors. If you are in DC for a tour of our Nation’s capital, be sure to click to Clyde’s website prior to your stay. No matter what the reason for your visit to clydes.com, you will, without a doubt find what you are looking for! A complete history of the restaurant and the founders, detailed information on each of the locations,
to make, via Clyde’s Restaurant website, that I just keep going on and on about. I made the reservations 3 days in advance of my trip and instantly received a confirmation email with the address and phone number, should I choose to change anything, such as the confirmed time or the number of people in attendance. On the day of my visit, I received a phone call to remind and confirm once again, which came at a perfect time… I was able to let them know I was running late due to the traffic during rush hour on the B-W Parkway (Baltimore Washington Parkway.) Then, since it was my first visit to Georgetown in DC, I was able to pull up the email from my iPhone and grab directions with ease. Fast, friendly and knowledgeable service set the stage for a wonderful dinner at the Clyde’s Georgetown location. Seating is somewhat tight but if you are visiting from a big city, such as NY, you are more than accustomed to making new dinner friends with the up close & personal tables. Our dinner neighbors were very friendly… they even offered to take our picture.
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including directions, hours of operation, methods of payment accepted, photos, customer reviews, special events, recipes and a downloadable menu with pricing!
Now on to the good stuff… DINNER! We started with the fried green tomatoes, which have a crispy cornmeal crust and pancetta, sitting on a bed of shredded lettuce and buttermilk bacon dressing. Our main courses were the penne with Italian sausage and rapini, which included garlic and parmesan cheese with marinara sauce; and a BBQ Pork tenderloin with asparagus and collard greens. An added bonus was the semi-sparkling glass of moscato, which in my neck of the woods is hard to find on a restaurant menu.
Before I tell you how wonderful the service and my meal was, let me just express my gratitude for the reservations I was able
Dinner was devine, the service was superb, the drinks were delightful and the company was captivating!
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"Coming Out Lounge Radio" A og
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live, weekly call-in show from the Web's most popular internet talk radio network, delivers bankable advice, take-action tips, and real-life, real people interviews to inspire powerful living on the other side of the closet door.
T on y l e Exclusiv
Each week "Coming Out Coach Rick" takes a soul-centered approach to living authentically as an LGBTQ individual by sharing heart-warming coming out stories, thought provoking insights, and diverse perspectives for living out and proud, your way, on "The Coming Out Lounge." Strategically aligned with his mission to help men and women step into living authentically, Clemons developed The Coming Out Lounge as an avenue to support individuals wherever they are in their coming out journey - from unspoken to living out loud. Exploring numerous facets of the coming out process, the show targets a diverse audience, tackling topics that benefit the entire tribe involved in the coming out journey – individuals coming out, those who’ve already come out, as well as family and friends of LGBT individuals. “In the age of ‘On Demand’ living, it just made sense to offer my “Coming Out” and “Gay Living” perspective via Internet radio and podcast,” stated Clemons. “Regardless of where a person is in their coming out process, or geographic location in the world for that matter, providing easily accessible support has always been a top priority for my coaching practice. Most people on this journey “out of the closet” and living on purpose as LGBT individuals, want to travel at their own pace, in their own way, and on their own time to get the support they desire. The Coming Out lounge meets that need in an easily accessible manner by providing a forum for self-discovery where individuals don't feel exposed and vulnerable,” Clemons continued. Determined to shy away from cliché “Tell me your story” talk radio, The Coming Out Lounge offers an intriguing mixture of gay humor, drama fit for a queen, take action advice, and real stories that only real people can share. The show airs live on Toginet.com, each Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. Pacific, 1:00 p.m. Eastern with podcast downloads available at iTunes within 24 hours. Toginet’s online radio network features top entrepreneur and celebrity talk shows from all over the world. With 4.5 million hits per month and over 250k podcast downloads, Toginet.com is the premiere on-line talk radio production company in the industry.
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Making Peace with What Is …
Releasing the resistance that keeps you feeling stuck! by Maria Lesetz, Happiness Coach & Motivational Speaker
“Making peace with what is” … is a powerful life-coaching tip that I have been sharing with my clients and students for years. It’s one that I have fully embraced during some challenging times, which has helped me to move forward and change my situation for the better instead of feeling stuck and doubtful that things will ever change. Many people have a tough time with "making peace with what is". (At one point, I had a tough time with it too!)
“Peace is a state of mind. When you embrace it, it will pave the way for a better future.” ~ Maria C. Lesetz 48
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After all, how do you make peace with "what is" if "what is" isn't what you want in your life? What a great question, huh? For example, if you are not happy in the relationship you are in, how do you make peace with that? Or if you have been searching for your ideal mate forever and haven’t found her or him yet, how do you make peace with being single? Or what if you just got diagnosed with a health condition … are you supposed to be OK with that and just “let it be” and make peace with “being sick”? Of course not!
On the surface “making peace with what is” seems counterintuitive and a difficult thing to do. And it can sure feel that way. But there is a misconception about what "making peace with what is" actually means. Many people think that it means, giving in to it, or giving up on your dreams...forever. And that's just not the case! To me, “making peace with what is” just means that you release a lot of the resistance that you have around your current life situation that you so badly want to change. This concept is captured in the famous saying “What you resist ... persists”. And it is so true. Have you ever noticed that the more you push against something it stays with you and sticks around for what appears to be an eternity? From a Law of Attraction standpoint that makes perfect sense because when you are "resisting something" you are giving it LOTS of attention and focusing on the exact thing that you don't like, don't want, and want to get rid of for good. That’s synonymous with giving all your power away to the negative situation at hand. You are essentially “feeding the gremlin”, the monster, the thing that you just want to GO AWAY! And when you feed it … it will stay! Your thoughts are like a magnet; they attract to you more of the essence of what you are feeling. So, if you are frustrated with a specific area of your life and focusing on how much you don’t want it to be that way anymore (which is resistance), you are never going to change your situation. You need to shift your focus and change how you feel. Just for a moment, think of a river flowing. Now in that river, throw in some rocks, boulders, branches, curves, bends … all the things that could potentially be obstacles to allowing that river to flow. But does the river stop flowing? No. It doesn’t resist what is in its’ way; it just navigates the “bumps”, “boulders” and obstacles with ease. It goes with the flow. We can learn a lot from this river analogy. Because you can do the same thing with any adversity you face in your life.
“Making peace with what is” is more about softening the resistance.
Now, you may find that it is easier to soften the resistance for certain areas of your life, but not for other areas of your life. Why would that be?
You can say to yourself …
I believe it is because in those areas that feel "difficult", there is a thick web of disempowering stories that you are telling yourself that needs to be shifted and changed before you can make that “peace” with what is. I help my clients to uncover those disempowering stories and to re-write them so that they feel more positive about their future outlook. As a result of the newly scripted story, my clients find great relief and a renewed sense of hope that things can really change for the better. After all, you are the one who chooses what you believe. And that’s great news because it means that you can change the story and choose to believe something different … something that will pave the way to the positive outcome!
•• “It is what it is and it’s going to be OK. This too shall pass!” •• “I’ve gotten through difficult times before and I will do it again.” •• “Focusing on this is not going to make me feel any better; I’m going to start focusing on what I DO want and believe that I am capable of making that happen.” •• “This is one of those times that I have to find the power within and know that I can do anything once I set my mind to it.” •• “Maybe this is actually a blessing in disguise and instead of breaking me, it’s going to make me stronger and lead me to something better!” Can you see how just in these few examples you can find a better feeling place? And that’s what it is all about … feeling better and finding the peace within, even in the face of the storm. That is what will turn your situation around. That is what will be your catalyst for positive change in any area of your life.
“Relief ” is a much better feeling than "resistance" and when you feel relief that leads to a shift to a more peaceful, allowing place so that you can easily attract what you really want to have in your life. Being a deliberate creator of my own life experiences I know how important it is to feel good. So, as soon as I recognize that the emotion that I am choosing to hold onto makes me feel worse, I know that my only job is to improve how I feel. I also remind myself that there is always a hidden gem in every life situation that I am experiencing and that the sum total of those experiences is what made me who I am today -- which is a strong, passionate, powerful woman who can do anything when she puts her mind to it! I appreciate all the challenges I have ever experienced, because they have just made me stronger and wiser. In reality, what makes the difference in how fully you experience life and enjoy the journey is NOT the specific events that happen, but how you choose to respond to each and every one of them. That’s what impacts your true inner happiness … how you choose to respond to what life throws your way!
To find out more about Maria’s Life Coaching Services, visit her website www.LovinLifeNow. com or contact her at Maria@MariaLesetz.com.
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t n a h p e El Seek the Truth
by Edward Truth
C
oleman and Jackson Vrana, better known as the west coast rap duo Elephant, are rising stars in the queercore movement— raw, androgynous, spindly punks with loads of sex appeal and shameless lyrics who draw diverse inspiration and don't give a frack about what the world thinks of them. Elephant's latest single, "The Let-Go", features Tampa's dirty rap crunk Yo! Majesty, and sounds more mainstream "feel good" than you might expect from punk-twins-rap meets black-lesbianChristian hip-hop. Get over it. Elephant's "Notorious H.I.V." is enough to make Larry Kramer cringe, and "Queer Nation" rumbles in a truck of a thousand expletives with writhing bodies to match. Now 26, the Vrana twins (fraternal not identical, as it's rumored) came out at age 14 in Oklahoma, a state whose mentality "screams south", as Coleman might put it. The duo loves to push buttons—a rebellious attitude learned from generations of ridicule and rejection; their great grandmother was a full blood Native American who lived to the age of 93. Elephant's first full length LP is slated for end of summer, then they go on tour. The dark complexity of the brothers Vrana is something Connextions is looking forward to getting into over time. For now, an introduction. Connextions: "The Let-Go" is fast-paced and feel good, like an anthem. But your music is typically dirtier, angrier. Coleman Vrana: More and more people tell me I need to be less angry. I don't understand it at all. The people writing us are just as angry if not angrier than I am. They tell me I need to focus on being more positive, that there's no real positive message. Like it's some sort of vitriol. How can you be a rapper without anger? It's impossible. The whole point of rap, well, not the whole point, but fighting back—that's the point. CM: What are a few of your musical inspirations? Jackson Vrana: I would say that Coleman and I really shared most of our influences as teenagers. Bands like The Cure and Placebo got us interested in pursuing a career in music. Nowadays I get inspired when I hear all kinds of things, like Fiona Apple's new album, the soundtrack to a horror movie, or an old Missy Elliott song. I think musicians eventually start to gather ideas from everywhere.
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CV: The Cure was engrained in our heads since we were little kids. Certain melodies resonate, it's hard to explain. Placebo, too. You can hear a similar vocal style, the nasaly thing we do. But it's mostly in the melodies we write. It's hard to say. The first Cure album I listened to was Wild Mood Swings but Disintegration stuck with me the most. We would travel to see Placebo perform. Jackson lived in London when we were 18. I learned to play guitar listening to Placebo tracks—even their old rough and raw stuff I like. And their sexual energy resonates with us, why we're less shy about writing about our sexuality. I listen to both The Cure and Placebo to this day.
photo courtesy Ward Robinson
JV: We're just saying that a queer nation would be a place where teens don't fear coming out of the closet. People would know that whether they want to lead a more traditional, socially conservative lifestyle or not, being gay is always acceptable. CV: I'd like to imagine change happening in a way I can foresee it right now, maybe change happening in a way I can actually see. Same people, same society, same ideas changing in real time. So it wouldn't seem like such a distant idea. CM: How do young queer people become themselves without giving in to mainstream messages that are built around exploiting them rather than building them up as individuals? CV: I think queer people have a slight advantage with this, because they're told from an early age—sometimes at home, a lot at school, church, etc.—that being themselves is somehow wrong and to be avoided if they want an easier life. Deciding right then that you don't want to live as someone you're not is the first step toward individuality. Advising people to be themselves is telling them to do what makes them happy without feeling pressured by everyone around them. Most people probably give in to mainstream messages before they don't. You know, no one could have stopped us from becoming drug addicts when we were younger, as that's something you have to learn for yourself, too. I think there's probably some connection there. This idea of complete individualism is not something you can conquer when you're a teenager, but it's a good time to think about it. CM: You guys are West Coast? JV: L.A. is where I feel most at home. It's a relaxed place where everyone can find his or her cultural niche. My boyfriend, the dogs, Coyote the pig and I have lived around Laurel Canyon for a long time now. Coleman tends to come and go from Portland. We have an awesome little circle of weird friends around here, and life is thankfully not very dull. CM: New York, L.A. L.A., New York. CV: One thing I noticed in New York is there's a huge amount of homophobia there. So many people bring their small town mentality with them from other places. I notice when we're on tour, it feels like there's almost as much homophobia in the north as there is in the south—even L.A. And WeHo is the least homophobic place. I mean, it's never perfect. I'm not expecting it to be perfect. I would like for it to be but I'm still realistic. CM: So what's next? CM: Faggot. CV: A lot of people take offense to us using the word. Some people find it empowering. With “The Let-Go,” it's more based on religion. We didn't try to make it less abrasive on purpose, it just happened that way. The band we worked with, Yo! Majesty, is a Christian band, but we didn't even know about that until later. CM: The Huffington Post asked you what your ideal version of a ‘queer nation’ might look like. You said that gay men would be seen as generally stronger and tougher than straight men, and that people would finally be able to live in or outside whatever box they desired. How is “living in a box” a good thing?
JV: Just finishing up the album, mastering, mixing, etc. And having it released late summer. Then will come a proper tour. Right now we're in major creative mode and it'll be exciting to start performing again. Playing live shows is such a different exercise in talent and creativity than working in a studio, and shifting focus in that direction for a while should be a fresh change. CV: And Portland. I've got a house there. I'll spend more time with my boyfriend. Maybe we'll do more shows in Portland.
Edward Truth tells it like it is. Follow him on Twitter @EdwardTruth.
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Business Profile
The Truth About Travel Agents By Desiree Sousa, Owner, Out & About Travel and Gay Travel Information
Many people ask why they should use a
travel agent? The answer is simple -- knowledge and peace of mind. We have been to the places you want to go to and we have studied the offerings at each of the destinations. Best of all, we are there for you 24 HOURS A DAY-7 DAYS A WEEK! That's the truth! When you book your travel arrangements through Out & About Travel, you will have access to our PERSONAL 24 / 7 TRAVEL EMERGENCY HOTLINE. If a problem should arise - call us and we will handle it for you. You may be asking youself how our company makes any money, since we don't charge service fees. The tour companies, cruises lines, hotels, car rental companies etc., pay a travel agent commission. That doesn't mean the prices are higher if you book through us, it simply means we get a percentage of the base rate you are charged. The price is the same as it would be if you booked on your own. It doesn't cost you anything extra to book through us.
•• Hi Desiree, I have returned from my trip to Rome and Budapest. Thank you for your help. The hotel in Rome, The Napoleon, was delightful--small, older, family-owned, conveniently located, and all was well. The hotel in Budapest, The Novotel Centrum, was great too. The tours in Rome were exactly as advertised--skip the lines, the guides were highly knowledgeable, and both tours were great. All of your recommendations and arrangements worked out superbly. I just wanted to say thanks. Paul •• Thanks again for all of your time and effort...you have clients for life!!! Take care!!! Melissa - Tampa, FL
• • HI Desiree, Toronto was a blast! The hotel you suggested fit all the criteria we were looking for, and on such short notice, you completey came through for us! I really appreciate all your help, especially with the hurricane screwing up our original plans. Thanks again for all your help! :) Candace Galloway, Ohio • • Hey Desiree, Just returned from beautiful Hawaii. Went to a luau, dinner cruise, snorkeling and lots of swimming. My daughter loved it. Thanks for another wonderful trip. Will and Rich-Oregon
Let Out & About Travel arrange your next getaway. We can customize a package to the destination of your choice. Sit back, relax and leave the leg work to us! As you can tell by our past client comments - we will take great care of you! In the summer of 1999, when I was a young 23 years old, I started my career in the gay and lesbian travel field. I have enjoyed every minute of offering my clients the personal attention they deserve in order to make each trip a memory that will last a lifetime! We are 100% gay/lesbian-owned and operated. We cater to the GLBT traveler. We make donations to the GLBT community with each tour or cruise booked, and provide all our clients with 24/7 agent access via personal cell-phone numbers. With over 13 years of experience, you are in good hands!
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Find Out & About Travel at www.gaytravelpros.com or call us at 800-842-4753.
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NYC LGBTQS Chamber of Commerce Inc. We are the voice & bridge of LGBT business in the NYC Area. As the first gay/lesbian Chamber of Commerce in NYC, we are here to assist businesses obtain SBA Certification. NY State Certification and loan processes.
The NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Inc. is a not-for profit 501 (c) (6) whose purpose is to assist and facilitate in economic development opportunities for LGBT and minority businesses.
CONTACT: Carmen Hernandez-DeArmas, President NYC LGBTQS Chamber of Commerce, Inc. “NY’s first and only LGBTQS Chamber” Office: 347-547-6300 Email: nyclgbtchamberc@msn.com Website: www.nyclgbtcc.com
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profound recognition
I think what you're seeing is a
American people that gays and lesbians and transgender persons on the part of the
treated
principle
are our brothers, our sisters, our children, our cousins, our friends, our co-workers, and that they've got to be
like every other American. And I think that
will win out.
- President Barack Obama
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Baby M 56
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Japanese Discography JB Talent Management and Humanity Pride Productions have teamed up with international pop star Baby M to announce her very first United States tour, which began in June. The Discovery of Baby M At age 14, Baby M starts singing in the slums. Her mother, Monica, ran the Kapatiran Foundation, based in Manila, which is a charity organization established to assist in feeding the needy and educating the children. Following in her mother’s footsteps, Baby M was also driven to give back to communities and individuals who are less fortunate. Blessed with undeniable vocal talent, Baby M began lifting spirits, while singing in the slums. It was during this time that she was quickly discovered by a Japanese producer. Baby M is a Pop Sensation Collaborating with various South African singers and rappers, Baby M stormed the international music scene in early 1999. She officially debuted in 2002 as "Baby. M" under Universal Music Japan with the single "usual girl", and after the release of two singles with the label and one indie single, she re-debuted in 2009 under Rhythm Zone and then in 2011, with Universal Records Philippines. GLBTI Affect As early as 2000, she was dubbed ‘The Bridge between Japan and the Philippines GLBTI community.’ Her fame in the community fully came to fruition in 2011,
when she became the Music Goodwill Ambassador for Japan to South Africa. In 2012, she headlined the international Mr. Gay World Competition. “I've always loved the gay community, but this time my eyes have been opened in so many ways.” While there, she was able to solidify her place amongst international pop stars as her performances hailed critical acclaim. Baby M Debut’s in America During the Mr. Gay World competition in South Africa this year, Baby M was discovered by Jarl Haugedal and Michael Billy, Co-Owners of JB Talent Management. JB Talent Management specializes in international stars of music, stage and screen, by establishing a market for them in the US. JB Talent Management clients understand the importance of charity work and contributions, not for the bang or the buck… but for the good of humanity. Michael Billy states, "Jarl and I have been in this business for a very long time- and we know first-hand, how self consuming it can be. It's time we change our perception of this business and make charity the goal, rather than the end result being just about dollar signs." Baby M’s American Debut U.S. Tour began in June, with an exclusive release party held in Jersey City. Following her media release party, Baby M attended and marched in her first NYC Pride celebration. In July of 2012, Baby M releases her first American singles on iTunes! Preview and purchase hits from her latest CD, Love For All.
Albums • 2010 Baby M • 2012 LOVE FOR ALL Collaborations • 2010 GTS - Majestic (Last Chance feat. Baby M) • 2010 Dohzi-T - 4 ever (#9 Get Ready feat. Baby M, Mandoza) • 2010 Ryuha-R - Beginnings+ (Goodbye To My Love feat. Baby M, Mandoza) • 2010 KEN THE 390 - NEW ORDER (THE DOOR feat. COMA-CHI, Baby M) • 2010 atrie. - The Moment of Sparkle (Stand High feat. Baby M) • 2010 House Nation Beach 2010 (GTS feat. Baby M - Last Chance) • 2010 AILI - Future (Umi no Mieru Machi AILI thanx to Baby M) • 2010 Urban Pop Disney (Circle of Life) • 2011 Odokei (In The Moment, feat. Baby M)
South African Discography Collaborations • 2008 Mandoza - Ingwenya (Good-Bye to My Love feat. Baby M)
Philippine Discography Albums • 2012 Baby M Collaborations • 2012 Christian Bautista - First Class: Outbound ( In My Arms with Baby M)
www.facebook.com/Baby.M.Music photos left & right: Baby M at NYC Pride 2012, photos courtesy Peyton Steitz photo middle: Jarl Haugedal, Baby M & Michael Billy
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Jefferson Memorial
I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. - Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]
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