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BRUCE VANWYNGARDEN Editor SUSAN ELLIS Managing Editor JACKSON BAKER, MICHAEL FINGER Senior Editors BIANCA PHILLIPS Associate Editor CHRIS MCCOY Film and TV Editor CHRIS SHAW Music Editor RICHARD J. ALLEY Book Editor CHRIS DAVIS, TOBY SELLS Staff Writers JESSE DAVIS, LESLEY YOUNG Copy Editors JULIE RAY Calendar Editor JOSHUA CANNON Editorial Intern

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR OUR 1431ST ISSUE • 07.28.2016 My 19-year-old stepson has been in France, in the city of Lyon, most of the summer. He’s taking an intensive French language course, attempting to learn his mother’s native tongue. It goes without saying that we were more than a little unnerved when an Islamist terrorist drove a truck through a Bastille Day crowd in Nice, killing 84 people. And it didn’t help our nerves when, this week, two ISIL-affiliated terrorists held church-goers hostage in a village in Northern France and murdered a priest, before being shot by police. We were worried, but we decided to let him stay, thinking that the odds were still quite low that he’d be impacted by a terror attack. Such is our world. The mass attacks seem to be coming in waves now. In Japan, 19 disabled patients at a nursing facility were murdered in their sleep by a disgruntled and mentallydisturbed ex-employee. Last week, there was an attack on a train in Germany by an ax-wielding Afghan teen who appeared to have been influenced by ISIL. In recent days, there have been attacks in Turkey; mass killings in Nigeria; suicide bombings in Syria. It’s overwhelming. If, as I did, you google “terrorist attacks in July 2016,” you get 165 incidents in 36 countries (and counting, as of this writing), resulting in more than 1,300 dead around the world. That’s just July, folks. Most of the attacks were in the Middle East and Africa, though there were incidents in Germany, France, Thailand, Madagascar, Bali, and other countries, as well. The majority of the victims were Muslim, including more than 300 killed in Baghdad in a single day’s bombing. Incidents that once would have made the world stop and mourn have become routine. As of July, we’re averaging more than five terror attacks per day, world-wide. It’s increasingly obvious that we are not going to be able to “bomb terrorism into the Stone Age.” Terrorism is everywhere. No single country can fix it. No single person, no matter how tough and strong he may think he is, can stop it. The problem is complex and multi-layered. You can destroy a beehive by killing its queen. Cockroaches are different. Squash one and another shows up to take its place, and the fear of death is not a deterrent. Terrorism thrives on creating fear. It’s the food left on the countertop. And fear is the bread and butter of Donald Trump, who wants to scare us into electing him so he can protect us. How? He’ll let us know the details later. In the meantime, he’s busy threatening our NATO alliance, which includes many countries on the front-lines in the battle against terrorism, countries with whom we share intelligence and military assistance. He’s inciting fear and prejudice against Muslims, who are, as I mentioned, the predominant victims of ISIL. He is proposing to do the exact opposite of what we ought to be doing, which is solidifying our alliances in the global war against terrorism. Trump has only one thing going for him: The fact that the bombings and shootings will continue, and each one presents an opening for a cynical opportunist to gin up more fear, more hatred, more isolationism. But we can’t run from this problem, N E WS & O P I N I O N and we can’t fix it by ourselves. World NY TIMES CROSSWORD - 4 War III is being waged right now, in THE FLY-BY - 5 the world’s back alleys and shadows, POLITICS - 8 in our public spaces and on our public EDITORIAL - 10 transport. We need more cybersleuths VIEWPOINT - 11 and more on-the-ground intelligence COVER STORY operatives. We need smart planning and YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM MEMPHIS IF ... solid analysis, and focused and coordiBY FLYER STAFF - 12 nated military and police operations. We do not need knee-jerk impulses from an STE P P I N’ O UT WE RECOMMEND - 16 uninformed jerk. MUSIC - 18 Interestingly, we are hosting one of BEST OF MEMPHIS BALLOT - 20 my wife’s French relatives this month. AFTER DARK - 24 She’s 19, learning a little about the CALENDAR OF EVENTS - 28 U.S., and practicing her English. Her BAR REPORT - 32 parents are a bit worried about her beFILM - 34 ing over here. C L AS S I F I E D S - 36 Bruce VanWyngarden THE LAST WORD - 39 brucev@memphisflyer.com

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Crossword

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V E R B AT I M Classic SNL-era writer/comicturned-senator Al Franken was the guest speaker at the Tennessee delegation’s first breakfast meeting at the Democratic National Convention. Here are some of Franken’s comments: “I’m very excited about this convention. I’m really looking forward to the speakers. I’ll give you an example of the contrast between [the Republican] Convention and our convention. They had Scott Baio. We’re going to have President Barack Obama. “I talked to Bernie [Sanders] last night, and I’m really looking forward to his speech this evening. I know Bernie will be urging unity because there’s so much at stake, and you know how much is at stake from watching last week’s convention. That was one of the ugliest conventions I’ve ever seen, and the acceptance speech by Donald Trump was one of the scariest I’ve ever seen. What he basically did was present a dark, ugly picture of America. There are problems with America. There’s no question about that, but he gave us no solutions to any of them. He gave magical thinking. He’s going to defeat ISIS, and it’s going to happen fast.”

BIANCA PHILLIPS

B O D Y TA L K Sexism was rampant in the streets of Cleveland during the Republican National Convention. So remember, every time you share on Facebook that picture of Donald Trump with a small penis, you make this seem okay to some people. And this shouldn’t be okay to anybody.

By Chris Davis. Email him at davis@memphisflyer.com.

S POTLI G HT By Joshua Cannon

Local startup focuses on under-represented children as the tech world’s future. Students practice computer coding with CodeCrew.

A Texas Instruments home computer was the perfect Christmas gift for 10-year-old Meka Egwuekwe in the early 1980s since he loved video games like Combat and Pac-Man. Months later, Egwuekwe was bored with those games, so he turned to studying a BASIC computer programming textbook. Once he learned to move the letters of his name across the computer screen, a passion that has now spanned 32 years took root. “I really started to take off with coding when I entered

seventh grade at East High School,” Egwuekwe, 42, said. “I knew I wanted to go into computing, but I didn’t know what that meant until I was in a classroom setting at East. I could actually take a full semester’s class in programming. I really credit East High School with setting me on my path, which would end up being a 19-and-a-half-year career as a software developer.” Egwuekwe has two teenage daughters and ran the Memphis chapter of Black Girls Code, a California-based nonprofit that provides African-American girls with technology education, for almost three years. He’s now the executive director of CodeCrew, a local startup that mentors young African Americans, Latino Americans, and women — all demographics that are under-represented in the tech world — in coding basics. Those groups do, however, make up the largest demographics in Memphis, Egwuekwe said. “We believe the work we are doing at CodeCrew is transformative for Memphis,” Egwuekwe said. “Too many kids who are not white or Asian males don’t see themselves as producers in this space. All of those groups are heavily underrepresented in these 21st-century careers. We can’t expect to be prosperous as a city unless we directly address those groups.” continued on page 6

Back in the Gay Day

{

S POTLI G HT By Bianca Phillips

Memphis’ LGBTQ history is preserved in new library collection. When asked how he became Memphis’ unofficial gay historian, Vincent Astor responds, “I’m the original queen who remembers too much.” “Back in the ’70s, when I was coming out, all we had were beer bars, and I don’t like beer. So I’d nurse a Coca-Cola for hours and go and fill it up with water in the sink in the bathroom when I was done. So I actually do remember the ’70s,” Astor said. Astor is also the man who managed to hold onto nearly every flier, program, poster, name tag, button, newspaper clipping, and other memorabilia relating to any LGBTQ event he’s been associated with. Last week, Astor unveiled “GLBT Life in Memphis: The Vincent Astor Collection” at the Benjamin L. Hooks Central Library. Astor hopes his collection will be the first in the library’s series of collections from older LGBTQ Memphians who wish to help document the community’s local history.

m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

COURTESY OF CODECREW

f l y o n t h e w a l l Talking in Code {

Edited by Bianca Phillips

NEWS & OPINION

THE

Questions, Answers + Attitude

Vincent Astor with his collection of LGBTQ buttons continued on page 6

“Code” continued from page 5

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CodeCrew, which Egwuekwe founded in 2015 with Audrey Jones and Petya Grady, grew through preliminary funding from the Grizzlies Foundation. They hosted a six-week pilot camp and a two-day hackathon last summer for kids ranging from fifth graders to high school sophomores. The events drew about 65 children who were challenged to build smartphone apps that would help people take advantage of Tom Lee Park’s Mississippi RiverFIT. Following the camp’s success, the Grizzlies Foundation provided funding for CodeCrew to register as a nonprofit. The organization was then able to start an after-school program. “I learned that once these kids are shown, they thrive,” Egwuekwe said. “They can express their creativity, and they can go far beyond our own imagination in terms of what we thought they could do.” After receiving a private, multi-year grant from a local organization, CodeCrew has extended their reach. Word spread after last year’s camp, and this summer they were able to host three camps — two beginner courses and one advanced course. About 85 kids, with more on a waiting list, signed up for the camp. This weekend, July 30th to 31st, they will host their second hackathon at Grizzlies Prepatory Charter School. This year’s theme is Memphis City Pride. The kids will break up into teams, choose an attraction or landmark, and build an app to help visitors take advantage of the location. Egwuekwe quit his job as director of software development at Lokion Interactive in June to fully focus on CodeCrew. When school starts, the organization will teach programming at Grizzlies Preparatory School, MLK College Preparatory School, and at Veritas College Prepatory School. Grizzlies Prep and MLK Prep will offer elective courses where students will earn grades. “I’m inspired by my East High experience,” Egwuekwe said. “I was in a classroom setting that had rigor, grades, and assignments. I believe that can work for other kids.”

“Gay Day” continued from page 5

July 28-August 3, 2016

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Astor’s collection, which is stored in boxes in the Memphis-Shelby County Room (the Central Library’s history room), contains hundreds of sheets of paper (measured in at 13.05 linear feet, in library terms) — programs from past plays put on by the Emerald Theater Company, advertisements from long-closed gay bars (such as the legendary George’s), handouts circulated by the now-defunct activist group Memphis Gay Coalition, church programs from the LGBTQ-affirming Holy Trinity Church, and other such items. “The collection contains clippings, newsletters, fund-raiser notices. There’s something in there from when I was a judge at Miss Gay Tennessee. It’s the stuff you save to jog your memory, so you can say, ‘Oh, I went to this pageant or that event,” Astor said. Astor is a long-time LGBTQ rights activist who fought against the ban on gays in the military and worked to raise awareness during the AIDS epidemic. He’s also been a fixture in the local theater community, performing in numerous plays over the past few decades. His drag persona, Lady A, has appeared at fund-raisers and charity events. And he spent a great deal of time working as a reporter for now outof-print LGBTQ newspapers GAZE and the Triangle Journal. Although the library already had bound copies of every issue of all of the city’s old gay newspapers on file, Astor donated some historic clippings on the AIDS epidemic and the early days of the Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center from GAZE and the Triangle Journal. He even donated a few issues of the Memphis Flyer that contained articles pertinent to the gay community. “There’s even a piece of the dance floor of the first gay bar I ever went to — the Front Page. It was a dance bar. There was a strip of storefronts on Cleveland near Crump Stadium, and bit by bit, that strip got eaten by the Methodist [Hospital] complex,” Astor said. The paperwork and other items in the Vincent Astor collection will stay at the library permanently, but the Memphis-Shelby County Room is also running a temporary display of artifacts from Astor through August. In that display, there are hundreds of buttons from Memphis gay bars, gay rights marches on Washington, and other local and national LGBTQ events. There are old matchbooks from the now-defunct gay bars J-Wag’s, the Rain Check II, and the Inn Crowd. Also on display is a dress worn by Lady A at the Southeastern Conference of Lesbians and Gay Men in 1980 and a button-covered leather vest Astor wore in his “years on the fringes of the leather community.” At an opening ceremony in the Memphis-Shelby County Room for his collection last week, Astor instructed those gathered to follow in his footsteps and donate their personal collections to the library. “Mine is the kernel, and I’m hoping others will follow. On Tuesday [at the opening], I told all the old heads who turned up to go and do thou likewise,” Astor said.

Greensward Grumbles

{

CITY REPORTER B y To b y S e l l s

Greensward parking will end, but not all are happy about how. cil’s website. Getting that information led to an awkward exchange between CPOP member Stacey Greenberg and council chairman Kemp Conrad. Greenberg asked Conrad if the resolution was the final vote on the issue. Conrad said nothing. “Mr. Conrad, did you hear what I said?” Greenberg asked. “I asked a question.” “I heard you loud and clear,” Conrad said. After a moment of silence, Greenberg said, “You’re not going

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to answer?” Conrad replied, “I think it’s pretty clear.” The final Greensward plan also calls for a northern portion of the field, a low-lying area with trees, to be paved. “[One hundred and fifty] of the trees in this picture will be removed and paved over in accordance with our ‘win,’” said, Hunter Dempster, a member of the Stop Hurting Overton Park Facebook group. “We have the numbers and stats that show they don’t even need the Greensward.”

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Grumbles about the final Greensward parking plan began even before the Memphis City Council recorded its unanimous vote to approve it last Tuesday. Memphis Mayor Jim Strickland unveiled a plan to permanently end the Memphis Zoo’s use of the Overton Park Greensward on July 1st. That plan included adding parking spaces on existing zoo lots and on North Parkway, a new zoo entrance on North Parkway, and running shuttles from a new zoo lot on East Parkway. Council member Bill Morrison brought a modified version of that plan to the council on July 19th, one approved by the zoo and the Overton Park Conservancy (OPC). The Morrison plan added 415 new parking spaces to the zoo’s existing lots and added parking along North Parkway. With this, zoo officials said they no longer needed the added parking on East Parkway and, thus, no longer needed to run trams through the Old Forest or on city streets. The city’s General Services lot on the east side of the park will instead become parking and green space for Overton Park. But all of this will take time. Morrison’s plan won’t end Greensward parking until 2019. Also, the plan gave the zoo legal latitude to park on the entire Greensward until the new changes are instituted. However, zoo officials have said they will continue to park cars on its traditional footprint, which is roughly the top third of the 12-acre Greensward. The new agreement does not set legal boundaries for park entities, a contrast from the council’s March 1st resolution, which gave the zoo control of two-thirds of the Greensward. Instead, council members gave the city engineer authority to establish those boundaries — flexibility to change the plan as engineers fit the 415 spaces in the area. All of this raised the ire of Citizens to Preserve Overton Park (CPOP), an independent park advocacy group. “And just to put a cherry on top, this action was a violation of state Sunshine Law, because the public had zero access to this resolution or exhibit until a citizen requested that information during the city council meeting,” read a CPOP post on Facebook. Details of the final plan were not divulged until the council’s executive session, only two hours before the group was set to vote on it. The resolution was passed out to council members during that session but wasn’t made available to the public beforehand via the coun-

POLITICS By Jackson Baker

Democrats’ Discontent

July 28-August 3, 2016

After WikiLeaks’ revelations of DNC efforts favoring Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders moves to tame the tempest.

PHILADELPHIA — Unsurprisingly, internal tensions are predominating at this week’s Democratic National Convention — held, ironically, in a city whose name translates from its Greek roots as “city of brotherly love.” In that regard, the Democrats gathered here face a challenge somewhat similar to one the rival Republicans had to deal with at their own nominating convention last week in Cleveland. In a rough sense, both parties have nominees that a significant part of their membership have doubts about. In the case of the GOP, that was Donald Trump, the shoot-from-the-lip billionaire and newly minted politician who continues to be anathema to rightof-center Republicans who favored Texas Senator Ted Cruz, as well as a continuing irritant to establishment Republicans in general. Cruz eased Trump out of his predicament somewhat by making a prime-time convention speech that conspicuously avoided even a wink and a nod toward formally endorsing the nominee. The speech was generally regarded, even by many delegates hitherto loyal to Cruz, as so lacking in elementary class and protocol as to deflate whatever resistance might have been building up against Trump. The issue in Philadelphia also concerns a case of two rival candidates — former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, whose nomination for President was a given as the week began, and Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, the “democratic socialist” whose

Senator Bernie Sanders in Philadelphia

challenge to Clinton’s inevitability seemed capable of succeeding at several points during their extended Democratic primary contest. So close was that race, so late was Sanders’ concession to Clinton, that a WikiLeaks release of hacked emails showing what appeared to have been a concerted effort by DNC officials to slant the outcome toward Clinton threatened to cast asunder the party’s tenuous and newfound sense of unity. Certainly it galvanized the doubts of disenchanted supporters of Sanders and his call for a political revolution, especially the youth brigades that had come to his support during the primary race in numbers huge and enthusiastic enough to recall the reformist fervor of the 1960s. And those Sanders followers, along with partisans of Jill Stein of the Green Party, Black Lives Matter activists, and various other representatives of the political left, came together in Philadelphia to form a protest contingent so large and potentially unmanageable as to challenge local law enforcement (heavily augmented by police forces from elsewhere, as was the case in Cleveland). On Monday, as delegates and other conventioneers inside the Wells Fargo Center expectantly awaited a primetime address by Sanders, thousands of protesters collected in a fenced-in park area, several miles long, adjacent to the arena, where they bore signs and shouted chants decidedly hostile to Clinton and the DNC — the mildest of which was “Hell No, DNC, We Won’t Vote for Hillary!” For all that, the Democratic establishment in Philadelphia, like the Republican establishment in Cleveland,

POLITICS

• The strong Sanders feeling, and the unease of party members regarding the offending DNC emails released by WikiLeaks, could be observed in meetings of the Tennessee delegation, as well. In a rousing address to the delegation’s Tuesday breakfast meeting at the Radisson Hotel in Valley Forge, one of that morning’s featured speakers, 9th District congressman Steve Cohen, minced no words. Hailing the Sanders delegates in attendance, Cohen, a Clinton supporter, declared, “It was wrong, what the party did,” and said the responsible DNC members should be fired because “they crossed the line.” But, said Cohen, “Bernie wants you to be for Hillary.”

• Another Memphian making an impact at the convention and elsewhere is District 91 state Representative Raumesh Akbari, who was scheduled to receive on Wednesday the National Juvenile Justice Network’s 2016 Reformer Award for her leadership efforts in juvenile justice reform. That award was to be part of the Network’s annual forum at the University of Memphis Law School. It was unclear whether Akbari would be able to receive the honor in person, since she began the week as a member of the Tennessee delegation in Philadelphia, where on Thursday, as she will be one of the featured speakers on the main convention stage — one of several chosen to represent her party’s diversity. Telling it like it is, Congressman Steve Cohen at the dais.

m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

caught a break. But, whereas the stroke of fortune for the GOP had come, as indicated, from the churlishness of the dissidents’ potential leader, Cruz, the deliverance from the Democrats was owing to the good will of Sanders, who acquiesced to Clinton’s victory with a strong statement of support for her in his convention speech, coupled with encouragement to his legions to fall in line. The only potential mischief coming from Sanders was a statement from the dais congratulating his thousand-plus delegates on the convention floor and the glee he demonstrated in anticipating their votes for him during roll-call time on Tuesday night.

The congressman also used the occasion to attack the administration of Republican Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam for what he saw as adulterations to the mission and purpose of the state lottery, which Cohen is acknowledged to have been the father of, as a longtime state Senator prior to his election to Congress in 2006. Cohen criticized Haslam for freezing the maximum amount of the Hope Scholarships subsidized by the lottery at $4,000 per annum, even as inflation has raised in-state tuition rates to levels far beyond that figure, while meanwhile draining off lottery funds to pay for the free community-college tuition grants under Haslam’s Tennessee Promise initiative. Arguing that those changes had routed money from a scholarship program that was both need-based and merit-based toward a “needless- and meritless-based” pattern of communitycollege subsidies, Cohen said the Promise program was created “because Bill Haslam wanted to leave office saying he did something,” and he said flatly, “Bill Haslam is a terrible Governor.”

NEWS & OPINION

Protesters voice their ire outside the arena at the Convention.

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intentions to eliminate seven copy editor and five design jobs in Memphis, centralizing much of that work at Gannett’s “design studio” in Nashville. Memphis Newspaper Guild President Daniel Connolly has a special name for this outsourcing of work to the Tennessee Capitol. Connolly, a longtime CA reporter and Guild leader, calls the newspaper’s creeping Gannettization the “Hunger Games,” after Suzanne Collins’ popular dystopian novel trilogy and the subsequent movie franchise. For the handful of people who’ve somehow avoided exposure to Collins’ work or the Jennifer Lawrence vehicles, The Hunger Games tells the story of a distant and decadent ruling class that forces poor kids to fight one another to the death for entertainment, and to remind citizens who might consider resistance or rebellion, they’re entirely at the Capitol’s mercy. As Connolly recently wrote in a message to Guild members, affected Memphis employees can apply for the Nashville jobs or for six new “digital producer” jobs in Memphis, forcing coworkers to “compete for economic survival.” Connolly’s literary comparison is a clever one, only in this case there’s no obvious Katniss Everdeen, radiant as the sun, ready to save the day with her flaming dress and flashing bow and arrow. Or with a red pen and deep well of local knowledge. The Guild is doing what it can by INCLUDES: filing grievances challenging Gannett’s assertion that some employees who’d NAIL TRIM been working for the Commercial Appeal

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for years before Gannett took over don’t merit severance pay. It’s good to know that somebody has the workers’ backs. But who’s there to look out for the readers and subscribers? Who’s there for advertisers who pay to put their product in front of a steadily diminishing number of eyeballs? The CA’s staff, like the newspaper itself, seems to get smaller with each passing year. And it’s difficult to hear about these new cuts and not reflect on a recent, tone-deaf headline that resulted in an apology from editor Louis Graham, and a protest by members of the Black Lives matter movement. The headline — “Gunman Targets Whites” — wasn’t technically incorrect, but it contextualized the facts in a racially insensitive way that called to mind, however unintentionally, the newspaper’s shameful Jim Crow-era reporting. It’s difficult to understand how that kind of error could happen, given a modicum of time and writers and editors with some sense of the current political climate and sensitivity to Memphis culture. It is, however, exactly the kind of mistake one might expect if these decisions are made and approved elsewhere. Tennessee’s grand divisions aren’t merely geographic, they’re cultural, and local editing is every bit as important as local reporting. It’s hard to remember a time when the Flyer wasn’t reporting on layoffs and buyouts at The Commercial Appeal. And with Gannett turning Tennessee’s major daily publications into a statewide version of USA Today, it’s impossible to know when it will end.

aug13 2016 5pm

VIEWPOINT By Chris Davis

Donald the Great Republicans have no solutions. Neither did Cleveland’s protesters. since anybody who wasn’t rich to begin with has seen a pay raise. Easy pickings for a master scammer who knows the con can’t work without establishing a modicum of trust and good feelings. Let them eat Trump Steaks. Misleading facts about poverty within the Latino community were accompanied by comments broadly linking Mexican immigrants to heinous crimes. He blamed President Barack Obama for racism and African Americans for violence in the streets. He said he would be this campaign’s “law and order” president, echoing tropes of Nixon’s 1968 campaign. Nixon used “law and order” to capitalize on white paranoia brought to a fever pitch by civil rights marches and urban riots. Trump’s doing the same, but with less diplomacy and subtlety.

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m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

Racial tensions have yielded a lot of nonsense talk, comparing 2016 to 1968, even though the two years are nothing alike. For example, in 1968, America was embroiled in a deadly, heavily televised war in Vietnam. These days, drones do most of our civilian killing, and all the action happens comfortably off screen, out of mind, and outside the context of a formal military conflict. In the absence of righteous fury, middle America can wallow in the unrighteous kind, and Trump’s acceptance speech received some of its best applause when he promised to be the law and order candidate and end this reign of minority terror — FAST! The unanswered question to most of Trump’s vague proposals: How? How will he make America rich — “FAST”? How will a Federal executive end violence — “FAST”? Does he really think he’s running for CEO in chief? Critics have described his acceptance speech as being too dark. Fans have described it as brutally honest but hopeful. Better descriptives would be empty, incoherent, and delusional. To his credit, there’s an enormous constituency for that. Chris Davis is a Flyer staff writer who is covering the Republican Party and Democratic Party conventions.

NEWS & OPINION

What separates us from animals, really? Elephants mourn their dead. Monkeys use tools. Octopi are creative problem solvers able to escape the tightest fixes. Even pigeons, filthy as they are, choose monogamy and mate for life. That leaves people with one thing — self-delusion. And nowhere is this tendency more evident than motivational speaking events where famous and near-famous people like former Minnesota Viking Fran Tarkenton dance to inspirational music, quote Vince Lombardi, and tell ordinary schmoes the only person standing between themselves and the wealth we all deserve is the person in the mirror. On second thought, it’s probably more evident at a Republican National Convention, where delegates literally wrap themselves in the flag and pretend to care about the minorities their platform is almost certainly designed to harm. In Cleveland last week, where New Jersey Governor Chris Christie incited a slobbering mob and G.E. Smith’s band cranked out AC/DC covers between speakers, it was sometimes hard to make distinctions. “U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A.!” On the closing night of the 2016 RNC, in the rust belt metropolis of Cleveland, Ohio, presidential nominee Donald J. Trump tricked conservatives into golf-applauding a brave plea to not mass murder members of the LGBTQ community. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that brave, or even a plea, exactly. But that’s what passes for progress in the Ghastly Old Party with its explicitly heteronormative platform. It was a weird moment in a long, smug address that played out like an infomercial for the “Blue Collar Billionaire,” who grew his fortune through bankruptcy after bankruptcy, leaving investors to hold the bag for his profitable profligacy. To borrow from daughter Ivanka’s media-approved “smart” and “savvy” speech, you’ve got to judge the man by his results. He’s loaded, right? While clichéd protesters waved ignorant signs about Trump being the Antichrist, chanting the same lame chants they’ve been chanting for decades, Trump, who knows a thing or two about get-rich-quick scams (cough-Trump University-cough) promised to make America rich again — FAST. That’s got to be an appealing message in a desperate place like Cleveland, which was named the poorest big city in America in 2004. A decade later, one in three Clevelanders still lived in poverty, and, as Trump noted, it’s been a long time

7/26/16 11:57 AM

You know the drill. These kinds of stories are stock-intrade for local publications all over the country — and probably all over the world. “You Know You’re From Swaziland If … ?” One reason these stories are so popular is because they’re fun, and who are we to argue with popular and fun? Nobody, that’s who. So, a couple weeks ago, we put out the call to Flyer readers and staffers to come up with some truly Memphiscentric answers, and boy, did they come through. Have fun.

… at least one person told you to have a “blessed day” in the past 24 hours. … you remember all the restaurants that have been on the “death corner” in Cooper-Young. … you have a really good “Hurricane Elvis” story. … Jay Reatard got high at your brother’s house. … you brag about never having been to

July 28-August 3, 2016

COVER STORY BY FLYER STAFF ILLUSTRATIONS BY GREG CRAVENS

Graceland. … Kerry Hayes pitched a story idea to you today. … you’ve worked in a Morgan Jon Fox film. … you got drunk with Joe Walsh that one time. … scared the shit out of a visiting friend by taking them to Wild Bill’s.

… you use the word “flodging” instead of “flaking.”

… you still think bike lanes will kill business on Madison.

… you call people “mane.”

… you had an opinion on the Bar Louie dress code.

… your coworker is the aunt of your former roommate’s first-grade teacher. … you hate Nashville.

… you ever called them the “City Clowncil” or the “Shitty Council.” … you understand the Parkway system, and you hate to leave it. … you know your mayor is close by, just by his laugh.

… you can spell Gatti, Keltner, Bienvenu, and Montesi. … you’ve gotten a speeding ticket on Peabody. … you know you’re supposed to hate the song “Walking in Memphis” but might kinda like it. … Summer is your Poplar.

… you wore a Greensward shirt to the zoo.

… you know “grit and grind” isn’t just a Grizzlies thing; it’s who we are, dammit.

… you sub the house-made potato chips for the tortilla chips on your nachos at Central.

… you balk at the thought of paying more than $800 a month in rent.

… Karen at Earnestine & Hazel’s knows your name.

… you know who we’re talking about from the following description: rubber chicken, no shoes, Zambodian.

… you use the “old Hi-Tone” as a reference for giving directions in Midtown. … you have a name for every Kroger: Murder Kroger, Mob Kroger, Krosher, Mexi-Kroger, etc.

… you refer to any area beyond the Parkways as “out East.” … you learned to ice skate at the Mall of Memphis.

… you say “errrbody.”

… you know about the two-for-one beers at Huey’s.

… saw Prince at the Coliseum, the Pyramid, and the New Daisy.

… you pretend to like Justin Timberlake.

… you’ve partied with Paul Ryburn.

… you miss Black Lodge Video.

… councilman Joe Brown has ever asked you a “querstion.”

… you’ve seen A C at the Union Kroger at midnight.

… you’ve been creeped out at Decadence Manor.

… you’ve driven by “Voodoo Village.”

… you know that A C aren’t initials.

… you’ve hung out at Pat’s Pizza.

… you pretend to understand Black Snake Moan in front of your out-of-town friends.

… you’ve been to the Gold Mine inside of Mall of Memphis.

… you were ever kicked out of 616. … you claim to have seen R.E.M. at Antenna.

… you went to Catfish Cabin for your birthday. … you’ve been to Adventure River.

… you remember JAM-JAM1.

… you remember the Big Shoe on Lamar.

… you select a barbecue place like you’re picking a fine wine.

… you open the doors of your car and stand outside it for two minutes in the summer to let the interior cool off. … you know what “Get Buck” means. … you know what the the Zippin Pippin is.

… you’ve seen Craig Brewer at Target.

… you drank the Ghetto-Aid at Alcenia’s.

… you know what sizzurp is.

… you’ve bought weed from Thorne Peters.

… you cried when Triple 6 won that Oscar for “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.”

… the words “dry rub” make your mouth water. … you can remember the Corey B. Trotz phone number, but only if you sing it. … you own a “Memphis as Fuck” T-shirt. … you have a secret crush on Mark Goodfellow.

… you’ve gotten naked in a Mike McCarthy movie. … still call Zinnie’s “Old Zinnie’s” even though there’s only one Zinnie’s now. … you’re sweating right now.

… you’ve seen Muck Sticky at Wizards.

… you’re instantly suspicious of lists like this one.

… your cabinet is filled with Flying Saucer “keep the glass” night pint glasses.

… “fireworks or gunshots” is a for-real game you play.

… you’ve got a “Superman Dam Fool” tattoo.

… you go to West Memphis to buy fireworks from Jerry Lawler’s and then stop by the West Memphis Walgreens for a 30-pack.

… you don’t know who your city councilperson is but can talk extensively on barbecue nachos.

… you think turn signals spoil all the mystery and excitement.

… when you say you’re running to the “beer store,” you mean the Cash Saver. But when referring to the Cash Saver, you call it The Pig. … you still call U of M “Memphis State.”

… you still call it Seessel’s.

… you know that Rockbone is probably the most Memphis beer name ever. … you remember Manny the Manatee in McKellar Lake.

… you freak out at any mention of snow, but shrug off tornado warnings.

… you just go to Bass Pro Pyramid to ride the elevator and drink.

… the Malco Jedi has ever filmed you parking on the Greensward or eating at Bar Louie.

… a toothpick shot out of some kid’s straw dropped onto your plate at Huey’s.

… you have more than one Growl Towel. … you bitched when when they added bikes lanes on Riverside — or when they removed them.

… you’ve never put as much as your big toe in the Mississippi River, and, by god, you never will. … you’ve ever gotten your change at Mapco in lottery tickets.

… you know Mud Island isn’t an island. … you’ve been panhandled at the Krystal drive-through. … you give directions based on the river and where things used to be: “You’ll wanna head down Madison, away from the river, and go about two blocks past where Anderton’s used to be.” … you’ve ever written on the bathroom wall at the P&H Cafe. … you’ve sat by Jerry Lawler in a movie theater. continued on page 14

COVER STORY m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

… you remember when the people in the P&H told their own jokes.

… you refuse to shop at the CVS at Union and Cooper because you’re still mad about that church they tore down. Whatever its name was.

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continued from page 13 … you had a pleasant conversation with a delightful older person in line at Walgreens, then later realized that person had several hit records, many of which you’ve danced and made a fool of yourself to.

… you can spot Raiford’s car in the daytime.

… If they say it might really snow, you get a day off work.

… it doesn’t take much to get you buck jumping.

… you’ve run into Rick Ross on more than one occasion at Wingstop.

… you remember when the Levitt Shell was falling apart.

… when you see smoke billowing from a building, you just think it’s a new barbecue joint.

… you’ve ever had someone in a foreign country go out of their way to do you a kindness because they love your city’s music.

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… you can’t see a pole without thinking of Janis Fullilove.

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… you remember when Myron Lowery fist-bumped the Dalai Lama. … you think of West Memphis as the place where Memphis keeps its fireworks. … New Orleans feels closer than Nashville even though it’s so much further away.

July 28-August 3, 2016

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… you haven’t been to Graceland, but you were a lifetime member at Graceland Too. … you only need to set aside 15 minutes to get anywhere.

… you honestly don’t know how people in other cities tolerate that horrible stuff they call water.

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… all you need is a smell to say which barbecue joint your food came from.

… you believe grammar requires one to follow most adjectives with the word “ass.”

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… 99 percent of the cups in your cabinet are from Young Avenue Deli.

… Sue or Ann ever made you leave the Lamplighter for cussing. (Make that Shirley or Ann. Sue would just give you a warning.)

… you know that Vance Lauderdale is more than just an intersection in South Memphis. … you’re still ticked off about Cleveland getting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. … when somebody mentions “the doughboy,” you don’t automatically think of Pillsbury. … you know that Sivad is not a new pill for erectile dysfunction. … you know that Happy Hal is not the name of a neighborhood dope dealer. … you know that McLean is not pronounced “McLane.” … you know the way to Jerry’s Sno-Cones. … you think a yellow traffic light is nothing more than a pretty decoration for that intersection.

FROM FLYER READERS ... … you’ve ever vultured the Pho Binh buffet waiting for the lemongrass tofu refill. — Laura Jean Hocking … you’ve chanted “Whoop that Clip,” while yellow fuzz is clogging your lungs, with 18,000 of your new best friends. — Emily Taylor … if you think nothing of the fact that Quince becomes Rhodes becomes Semmes, Walnut Grove becomes Union, and Shady Grove runs east and west before turning south where it then becomes Ridgeway before becoming Hickory Hill! — Philip W. Cruzen … you came home with Gus’s Fried

Chicken and Gibson’s Donuts in the same bag. — Aaron Prather … people from out of town refer to you as “that guy from Memphis” or “Memphis dude.” — Richard Jones … a car goes by and has its music bumping and everyone within earshot starts dancing. — Jennifer Bald

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COVER STORY m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

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We Recommend: Culture, News + Reviews By Bianca Phillips

Iris Lefleur

What happens when a cast of drag queens accidentally ends up on a senior citizen cruise? That will all be revealed in The Drag Boat, the fourth in the series of George’s Truck Stop and Drag Bar plays performed at Evergreen Theatre. The original production, being put on by Friends of George’s, opens on July 29th and runs two weekends. The play’s protagonist, Maybelline (played by Bill Zachery), wins a free cruise through a fruitcake contest at her local Piggly Wiggly. But when she and her family and friends board the ship, they realize they’re surrounded by old folks. “It’s a loose take on the TV show, The Love Boat,” says Ty Phillips, a scriptwriter and board member for Friends of George’s. “It’s not a parody of the show, but it’s loosely based on it. If you’re a fan of the campy old show, then this would be a fun show to watch.” In The Drag Boat’s prequels, George’s Truck Stop and Drag Bar 1 & 2, the crew of queens from the burned-down Krankshaft drag bar take refuge in George’s Truck Stop, where they entertain the redneck patrons in the seedy diner. The third in the series — Dragnificent — was a variety show featuring the same cast of characters. Friends of George’s was originally formed in 2010 to organize a reunion of former patrons of the long-defunct George’s, one of the city’s oldest and most-beloved gay bars. After the successful reunion, the group became a resident theater company with TheatreWorks at Evergreen. “A lot of our audience members used to attend George’s Disco in the late-’60s and ’70s,” Phillips says. “It was like the community center of that time, and they were known for their very elaborate stage shows. They rehearsed. It was wasn’t like people just showed up and got on stage, so we try to bring that level of quality to our productions, too. We take a more theatrical approach to doing drag shows.” Each production benefits a local LGBTQ nonprofit. Proceeds from The Drag Boat will go to the Tennessee Equality Project.

July 28-August 3, 2016

“THE DRAG BOAT” AT EVERGREEN THEATRE, FRIDAY-SATURDAY, JULY 29TH-30TH AND AUGUST 5TH-6TH. 8 P.M. $25. WWW.FRIENDSOFGEORGES.ORG

Dreams of December amid summer heat waves and election madness The Last Word, p. 39

Going with the flow — Ghost River’s new groove Bar Report, p. 32

FRIDAY July 29

SATURDAY July 30

Clerks Halloran Centre, 7-10 p.m., $8 Classic 1994 Kevin Smith indie film about convenience store clerks. Billy Currington Live at the Garden, 6:30 p.m., $40 Country music artist Billy Currington takes the stage at Live at the Garden.

A Mid-Summer Renaissance Night at the Academy Howard Vance Guitar Academy, 5-8 p.m. A preview of performances at the upcoming Mid-South Renaissance Faire. “Cu in Summer” Metal Museum, 5-7 p.m. Opening reception for this exhibition of metal works by students from Knowledge Quest.

Jill Scott Landers Center, 8 p.m., $25-$125 Concert by R&B star and actress Jill Scott. Harry Potter Midnight Release Party The Booksellers at Laurelwood, 10 p.m.-midnight A celebration in honor of the release of the eighth Harry Potter story. Includes trivia and a costume contest.

Repticon Landers Center, 10 a.m., $10 Expo to fulfill all your reptile needs — cages, feeders, pets, etc. Plus animal seminars. Jurassic World CTI 3D Giant Theater, 4 p.m., $9 Dinosaur shitstorm on a giant screen!

KEVIN REED PHOTOGRAPHY

Queen on a Cruise

Ladies’ Night

By Susan Ellis

The Step Ahead Foundation provides the women of Memphis and Shelby County with free long-acting, reversible birth control. The foundation was created by retired judge Claudia Haltom, who saw from the bench women having families before they were physically, emotionally, and financially prepared. Providing birth control gives these women control of their lives. “The Future Is Female,” this Thursday at Amurica, is in that same spirit. Step Ahead’s five interns — Nicole Quinones, Jasmine Murphy, Abigail Gardiner, Dekitra Durant, and Latrice McClorn — were given full responsibility for planning the event, from the decorations and budget to the space and food. Quinones helps with research, following up with patients. She says the event is aimed at “anyone with a uterus.” They’re having an OBGYN speak, and there will be a Q&A. She says guests can eat and mingle before the talks starts. There will be icebreakers, such as the interns’ take on the headband game during which participants will have a sticker on their back with a different form of birth control and others have to guess the method. Step Ahead marks its fifth anniversary this year. The choice of Amurica for venue, says Belinda Simpson, the organization’s community outreach director, is fitting, as Step Ahead will be moving into Crosstown Concourse. Simpson says she’s already seen Step Ahead’s impact, that women are waiting longer to start their families. Quinones, too, sees the bigger picture. She says that birth control is only one part of the answer; the other is education. “Teaching women to plan their lives is empowering,” she says. “THE FUTURE IS FEMALE” AT AMURICA, THURSDAY, JULY 28TH, 6-8 P.M.

TUESDAY August 2

Benefit Concert for Ruby Wilson B.B. King’s, 2-6 p.m., $10 A fund-raising event for the Queen of Beale Street. Includes a silent auction and live entertainment.

Another Bizarre Bazaar: The Art of Larry Edwards Crosstown Arts, 1-6 p.m. One-day show and sale of work by Larry Edwards.

Shades of Blue: A Celebration of Memphis Music and History Levitt Shell, 6:30 p.m. Facing History and Ourselves hosts this community event examining our history of racism and other societal ills. With music by Alvin Youngblood Hart.

Potterfest Rec Room, noon-9 p.m., $15 Harry Potter party with movie screenings, Quidditch (which may or may not be exactly like beer pong), trivia, a costume contest, a sorting ceremony, and more. It’s all ages from noon to 6 p.m., then 18-plus.

Coloring Between the Wines The Booksellers at Laurelwood, 6 p.m. Coloring plus wine-drinking. And snacks!

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

SUNDAY July 31

m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

Anton Yelchin (left) as Chekov and Zachary Quinto as Spock in Star Trek Beyond Film, p. 34

M U S I C F E AT U R E B y J D R e a g e r

Snowglobe Returns. Brad Postlethwaite on his band’s first show in four years.

ot too long ago, the Memphis psych-rock band, Snowglobe, was one of the most popular and prolific acts in town. Over the course of an eight-year span from 2002 to 2010, the group produced four excellent full-length albums, an EP, and two B-sides collections, toured regularly, and even dabbled in acting in Craig Brewer’s $5 Cover series for MTV. But not much has been heard from the group in recent years. 2010’s Little More Lived In was Snowglobe’s last official release, and the band hasn’t played live since 2012. In that time, some members of Snowglobe pursued other projects — Tim Regan in his new Austin, TX-based group Texas Never Whispers, Jeff Hulett in Glorie and a solo act, Luke White with James and the Ultrasounds, and Nashon Benford with too many bands to mention. Over five years ago, the band started working on what would become a new, self-titled album with producer/ engineer Toby Vest at High/Low Recording. That record comes out this week on Regan’s Super Sonic Sounds label, and Snowglobe is re-convening for a release show this Fri-

Snowglobe

day at the Levitt Shell. Brad Postlethwaite, the frontman and founding member of Snowglobe, spoke to the Flyer this week about the band’s latest chapter. — JD Reager The Memphis Flyer: Why did it take so long to make this record? Postlethwaite: We’ve all had different things going on in our lives over the past five-plus years. There have been periods of intense effort and focus on this record, but we have also had to take a lot of extended breaks due to work, family, and other reasons. We had no deadlines, no interested labels, no one breathing down our neck. No expectations. It was beautiful. If it took 10 years to get things sounding right, so be it. We were making a record for the

sake of doing it, not for any other reason. What was it like working with Toby Vest and Pete Matthews at High/Low? I had about 20 songs demoed when I brought the project to High/Low. Toby and the rest of the band helped to sort through them, decide what to try and record, etc. Of those 20, we ended up recording about 16 or 17 tracks, and then cut about five songs at the tail end of the project. At that point, we knew that mixing the remaining 10 or 11 songs was going to be a real challenge given the number of instrument and vocal tracks in each session. It also became clear, to me, that mixing would be a lot easier if I removed myself from the process. Are you a perfectionist in the studio? I am certainly a perfectionist and a little obsessive when it comes to finishing a record. There are often a handful of tracks that, to me, sound incomplete or just not representative of what I hear in my head. For me, the final step in completing a record is reachcontinued on page 23

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S N OWG LO B E R ETU R N S continued from page 18 ing a state where I’m able to let that go. In this case, I was lucky, as Toby really understood the vision I had for all of these songs. In the end, once the record was ready to be mixed, I was very comfortable leaving things in his and Pete’s capable hands. Mortality is a topic you address frequently on the new album — where does that come from? Many of the songs dealing with issues of death and mortality were inspired by events in my life or those close to me. A few were inspired by experiences I had as a medical student or resident. On a daily basis, you are being exposed to these really tragic situations and experiencing them with the patient’s families. It’s an overwhelming amount of emotions that are hard to put into words.

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What do you see happening with the band from here? More albums for sure. Between family and work, touring would certainly be difficult. I’ve always dreamed of getting back on the road again with my boys, but in the words of Michael Bluth, “Family first.” Snowglobe at the Levitt Shell, Friday July 29th. 7:30 p.m. Free Admission.

ALVIN YOUNGBLOOD HART SUNDAY, JULY 31ST LEVITT SHELL

DELOREAN SATURDAY, JULY 30TH. MINGLEWOOD HALL

THE BAND CAMINO SATURDAY, JULY 30TH THE HI-TONE

After Dark: Live Music Schedule July 28 - August 3 Alfred’s 197 BEALE 525-3711

Karaoke Thursdays, TuesdaysWednesdays, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., and Sundays-Mondays, 10 p.m.-2 a.m.; Mandi Thomas Fridays, Saturdays, 6-9 p.m.; The 901 Heavy Hitters Fridays, Saturdays, 10 p.m.-2 a.m.; Flyin’ Ryan Fridays, Saturdays, 2:30 a.m.; Memphis Jazz Orchestra Sundays, 6-9 p.m.

B.B. King’s Blues Club 143 BEALE 524-KING

The King Beez Thursdays, 5:30 p.m.; B.B. King’s All Stars Thursdays, Fridays, 8 p.m.; Will Tucker Band Fridays, Saturdays, 5 p.m.; Memphis Mojo Tour Saturdays, 11:30 a.m.-4 p.m.; Lisa G and Flic’s Pic’s Band Saturdays, Sundays, 12:30 p.m.; Blind Mississippi Morris Sundays, 5 p.m.; Memphis Jones Sundays, Wednesdays 5:30 p.m.; Doc Fangaz and the Remedy Tuesdays, 5:30 p.m.

Blue Note Bar & Grill 341-345 BEALE 577-1089

Queen Ann and the Memphis Blues Masters Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m.-midnight.

Blues City Cafe 138 BEALE 526-3637

July 28-August 3, 2016

Nathan Belt & the Buckles Thursday, July 28, 9 p.m.; Blind Mississippi Morris Fridays, 5 p.m., Saturdays, 5:30 p.m., Monday, Aug. 1, 7 p.m. and Wednes-

day, Aug. 3, 8 p.m.; Brandon Cunning Trio Sundays, 6 p.m., and Mondays, 7 p.m.; Brad Birkedahl Band Thursdays, Wednesdays, 8 p.m.; Earl “The Pearl” Banks Saturdays, 12:30 p.m. and Tuesdays, 7 p.m.; FreeWorld Sundays, 9:30 p.m.

Club 152 152 BEALE 544-7011

1st Floor: Mercury Boulevard Mondays-Thursdays, 6:30 p.m.; DJ Dnyce Sundays, 11 p.m., and Thursdays, 11:30 p.m.; 3rd floor: DJ Crumbz Fridays, Saturdays, 10 p.m.; 2nd Floor: DJ Kaz Fridays, Saturdays, 11 p.m.; DJ Tubbz Mondays-Wednesdays, 11 p.m., and Fridays, Saturdays, 11:30 p.m.; Sean Apple Sundays, 1 p.m.; Adam Levin Sundays, 1 p.m.; After Dark Band Sundays, 6 p.m.

Handy Bar 200 BEALE 527-2687

Bad Boy Matt & the Amazing Rhythmatics Tuesdays, Thursdays-Sundays, 7 p.m.-1 a.m.

Hard Rock Cafe 126 BEALE 529-0007

Laramie Friday, July 29, 8 p.m.; Brad Birkedahl Sunday, July 31, 6 p.m.

Itta Bena 145 BEALE 578-3031

Kayla Walker Thursdays, 67 p.m.; Ruby Wilson and Family Thursdays, 7-9 p.m.; Susan Marshall Piano Fridays, Saturdays, 6-9 p.m.; Susan Marshall Fridays, Saturdays, 7-10 p.m.; Nat “King” Kerr Fridays, Saturdays, 9-10 p.m.; Susan Marshall Wednesdays, 6-8 p.m.

Jerry Lee Lewis’ Cafe & Honky Tonk

King’s Palace Cafe Tap Room

310 BEALE 654-5171

168 BEALE 576-2220

The Johnny Go Band Thursdays, Sundays, 7-11 p.m.; Rockin’ Rob Haynes & the Memphis Flash Fridays, Saturdays, 7-11 p.m.; Live Band Karaoke Fridays, Saturdays, 11 p.m.-3 a.m.; The Memphis House Rockers Saturdays, 37 p.m., and Wednesdays, 711 p.m.

King Jerry Lawler’s Hall of Fame Bar & Grille 159 BEALE

Eric Hughes Thursdays, Fridays, 5-8 p.m.; Karaoke Mondays-Thursdays, Sundays, 8 p.m.; Live Bands Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m.

King’s Palace Cafe 162 BEALE 521-1851

Nancy Apple Thursday, July 28, 5:30 p.m.; David Bowen Thursdays, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Fridays, Saturdays, 6:30-10:30 p.m., and Sundays, 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Memphis Style Friday, July 29, 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m., and Saturday, July 30, 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m.

King’s Palace Cafe’s Patio 162 BEALE 521-1851

Mack 2 Band Mondays-Fridays, 2-6 p.m.; Cowboy Neil Mondays, Thursdays, 711 p.m., and Saturdays, Sundays, 2-6 p.m.; Fuzzy & the Kings of Memphis Fridays, Saturdays, 7-11 p.m.; Chic Jones & the Blues Express Sundays, 7-11 p.m.; North & South Band Wednesdays, 7-11 p.m.

Don Valentine Thursdays, Tuesdays, 8 p.m.-midnight; North & South Band Friday, July 29, 9 p.m.; Metropolitan Avenue Saturday, July 30, 8 p.m.

New Daisy Theatre 330 BEALE 525-8981

Boys of Summer Thursday, July 28, 5 p.m.; Carcass Friday, July 29, 7:30 p.m.-midnight; Anders Osborne (NEW DATE) Wednesday, Aug. 3, 8-11 p.m.

Society Sundays, 8 p.m.midnight; Brian Hawkins Blues Party Mondays, 8 p.m.midnight.

Earnestine & Hazel’s 531 S. MAIN 523-9754

Amber Rae Dunn Hosts: Earnestine & Hazel’s Open Mic Wednesdays, 8-11 p.m.

Silky O’Sullivan’s

Huey’s Downtown

183 BEALE 522-9596

Barbara Blue ThursdaysFridays, Wednesdays, 7-9 p.m., Saturdays, 5-9 p.m., and Sundays, 4-9 p.m.; Dueling Pianos Thursdays, Wednesdays, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., Fridays, Saturdays, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., and Sundays, Tuesdays, 8 p.m.-midnight.

77 S. SECOND 527-2700

Beat Generation Sunday, July 31, 8:30 p.m.-midnight.

Memphis Cook Convention Center 255 N. MAIN 576-1200

The Soul Lounge featuring Kindred the Family Soul along with Avery Sunshine and the 4Soul Band (Gerald Richardson and Carmen Hicks) Friday, July 29, 8 p.m.midnight.

Rum Boogie Cafe 182 BEALE 528-0150

Young Petty Thieves Thursday, July 28, 5-8 p.m.; Vince Johnson and the Boogie Blues Band Wednesdays, Thursdays, 8 p.m.-midnight; Pam & Terry Friday, July 29, 5:30 p.m.; Eric Hughes Band Friday, July 29, 9 p.m.-midnight; Jo Jo Jeffries & Ronnie Caldwell Saturday, July 30, 5:30 p.m.; Little Boys Blue Saturday, July 30, 9 p.m.1 a.m.; Memphis Blues Society Jam Sundays, 7-11 p.m.

Rum Boogie Cafe’s Blues Hall 182 BEALE 528-0150

Memphis Bluesmasters Thursdays, 8 p.m.-midnight, and Sunday, July 31, 8 p.m.-midnight; Plantation Allstars Fridays, Saturdays, 3-7 p.m.; Little Boys Blue Friday, July 29, 8 p.m.-midnight; McDaniel Band Tuesdays, Wednesdays, 8 p.m.-midnight, and Saturday, July 30, 8 p.m.-midnight; Low

Blind Bear Speakeasy 119 S. MAIN, PEMBROKE SQUARE 417-8435

Paulette’s

Live Music Thursdays-Saturdays, 10 p.m.

RIVER INN, 50 HARBOR TOWN SQUARE 260-3300

Live Pianist Thursdays, 5:308:30 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays, 5:30-9 p.m., Sundays, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., and MondaysWednesdays, 5:30-8 p.m.

Brass Door Irish Pub 152 MADISON 572-1813

Live Music Fridays.

Center for Southern Folklore

Premiere Palace

123 S. MAIN AT PEABODY TROLLEY STOP 525-3655

629 MONROE 725-5625

The Boom Bap Friday, July 29, 9 p.m.

Roy Brewer’s Old School Friday, July 29; J Train Blues Band Saturday, July 30; Melinda Milligan & Friends Sunday, July 31.

Purple Haze Nightclub 140 LT. GEORGE W. LEE 577-1139

DJ Dance Music MondaysSundays, 10 p.m.

Double J Smokehouse & Saloon

Rumba Room

124 E. G.E. PATTERSON 347-2648

303 S. MAIN 523-0020

Live Music Thursdays, 7-11 p.m., Fridays-Saturdays 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

Salsa Night Saturdays, 8:30 p.m.-3 a.m.

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Half Step Down Saturdays, 7-10:30 p.m.

Blue Monkey 2012 MADISON 272-BLUE

Karaoke Thursdays, 9 p.m.midnight; Delta Soul Revival Friday, July 29; Heart of Memphis Band Saturday, July 30.

Boscos 2120 MADISON 432-2222

Sunday Brunch with Joyce Cobb Sundays, 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.

Celtic Crossing 903 S. COOPER 274-5151

CARCASS, CROWBAR, AND MORE AT THE NEW DAISY The New Daisy has already had some of the biggest names in metal come through their doors this year, but Friday’s show that features grindcore legends Carcass along with Night Demon, Crowbar, and Ghoul might be the biggest metal bill of 2016. Formed in 1985, Carcass have been at the top of the grindcore food chain for most of their existence, mostly due to the unprecedented success they experienced for the album Heartwork, the record that essentially landed the band a deal with Columbia Records. Carcass broke up in 1995 but re-formed in 2007, and as they are considered by many to be the fathers of grindcore, the reunion was highly anticipated by new and old fans alike. While all the supporting acts on this full U.S. tour are capable of filling the headlining slot on their own, Night Demon are certainly the newest band on the bill, having formed in 2011. With their massive fan base, they certainly belong on this all-star bill. New Orleans sludge masters Crowbar are no strangers to Memphis or the New Daisy, and their loyal fan base should make up most of the crowd at Friday’s show. Rounding out this insane lineup is Ghoul, the punk/metal band that features members of Phobia, Exhumed, and Wolves in the Throne Room. Ghoul come from the same school of thought as GWAR, meaning they adopt stage names (Cremator, Fermentor, Digestor, and Dissector, to be exact) and often use props during their performance. This one should get nasty. — Chris Shaw Carcass at the New Daisy, Friday July 29th. 6 p.m. $20-$25 The Silly Goose 100 PEABODY PLACE 435-6915

DJ Cody Fridays, Saturdays, 10 p.m.

South Main

South Main Sounds

Loflin Yard

South Main Sounds Songwriter Night #33 Friday, July 29, 7-9 p.m.

7 W. CAROLINA

Paul Taylor Thursday, July 28, 7-10 p.m.; The Joe Restivo 4 Friday, July 29, 7-10 p.m.; John Paul Keith Saturday, July 30, 7-10 p.m.; Jeremy Pinnell & the 55s Sunday, July 31, 5-8 p.m.

550 S. MAIN 494-6543

DJ Tree Fridays, 10 p.m.; DJ Taz Saturdays, 10 p.m.; Jeremy Stanfill and Joshua Cosby Sundays, 6-9 p.m.; Candy Company Mondays.

Canvas 1737 MADISON 443-5232

The Other Jesse Davis Friday, July 29, 9 p.m.

The Cove 2559 BROAD 730-0719

Ed Finney & the U of M Jazz Quartet Thursdays, 9 p.m.; Chinese Connection Friday, July 29, 9 p.m.; Petty Gene Saturday, July 30, 10 p.m.; Justin White Mondays, 7 p.m.; Don & Wayde Tuesdays, 7-10 p.m.; Karaoke Wednesdays, 10 p.m.

Dru’s Place 1474 MADISON 275-8082

Karaoke Fridays-Sundays.

Hi-Tone 412-414 N. CLEVELAND 278-TONE

Wray, GT, Switchblade Kid Thursday, July 28, 9 p.m.; Dead Soldiers, Faux Killas, HEELS Friday, July 29, 9 p.m.; Space Face, the Band Camino, Sold Under Sin Saturday, July 30, 9 p.m.; Tinderbox Circus Sideshow Monday, Aug. 1, 8 p.m.; The Year of the Hare Wednesday, Aug. 3, 9 p.m.

High Cotton Brewing Co. 598 MONROE 896-9977

Bar DKDC 964 S. COOPER 272-0830

The Sheiks Friday, July 29; Marcella & Her Lovers Saturday, July 30; Southern Ammunition Wednesday, Aug. 3.

High Cotton Brewing Co. presents ATX natives Tennessee Stiffs Sunday, July 31, 3-5 p.m.

Otherlands Coffee Bar 641 S. COOPER 278-4994

The Chaulkies Sunday, July 31, 4-7 p.m.; Bluff City Soul Collective Sunday, July 31, 8:30 p.m.-midnight.

Blackwater Trio, Tony Manard Friday, July 29, 8 p.m.; Bryan Hayes & the Retrievers Saturday, July 30, 8 p.m.

The Salvation Army Kroc Center

1532 MADISON 726-0906

800 E. PARKWAY S. 729-8007

Battle of the Bells.

Lafayette’s Music Room 2119 MADISON 207-5097

Rob & Trey Thursday, July 28, 6 p.m.; Patrick Sweany Thursday, July 28, 9 p.m.; Idle & Wild Friday, July 29, 6:30 p.m.; Susan Marshall & Friends Saturdays, 11 a.m.; The River Bluff Clan Saturday, July 30, 3 p.m.; Pam & Terry Saturday, July 30, 6:30 p.m.; Graham Winchester & the Ammunition Saturday, July 30, 10 p.m.; Joe Restivo 4 Sundays, 11 a.m.; John Moreland Sunday, July 31, 8 p.m.; John Paul Keith & Friends Mondays, 6 p.m.; Snake Blood Remedy Monday, Aug. 1, 6 p.m.; Travis Roman Tuesdays, 5:30 p.m.; Elizabeth Wise Tuesday, Aug. 2, 8 p.m.; Breeze Cayolle and New Orleans Wednesdays, 5:30 p.m.; Paul Cauthen Wednesday, Aug. 3, 8 p.m.

P&H Cafe Rock Starkaraoke Fridays; Gloryholes, HEELS, Fresh Flesh Saturday, July 30; Open Mic Music with Tiffany Harmon Mondays, 9 p.m.midnight; Tail Light Rebellion Tuesday, Aug. 2.

The Tower Courtyard at Overton Square 2092 TRIMBLE PLACE MEMPHIS, TN 38104

Acoustic Courtyard last Thursday of every month, 6:309:30 p.m.; Bluesday Tuesday Tuesdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m.

Wild Bill’s 1580 VOLLINTINE 207-3975

The Soul Connection Fridays, Saturdays, 11 p.m.-3 a.m.

University of Memphis

Levitt Shell

Ubee’s

1928 POPLAR 272-2722

Alvin Youngblood Hart Sunday, July 31, 7:30 p.m.

521 S. HIGHLAND 323-0900

Karaoke Wednesdays, 9 p.m.-2 a.m.

Midtown Crossing Grill

East Memphis

394 N. WATKINS 443-0502

Name & the Nouns Saturday, July 30, 7:30-11 p.m.; Memphis Ukelele Meetup Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m.

Minglewood Hall 1555 MADISON 866-609-1744

DeLorean Saturday, July 30, 7 p.m.; The ’90s Party featuring the 69 Boyz Sunday, July 31, 6 p.m.

Murphy’s 1589 MADISON 726-4193

Sadistic Ritual, Shards of Humanity Thursday, July 28; Hauteur, Death Card Machinist, X-Ray Vision Saturday, July 30; Hormonal Imbalance, Wicks & the Tricks Monday, Aug. 1; Steve Smith Monday, Aug. 1, 7 p.m.; Faux Killers, Day Creeper Wednesday, Aug. 3.

Buckman Arts Center at St. Mary’s School 60 N. PERKINS EXT. 537-1483

Roudnev Youth Ballet’s Nutcracker Prep (Pre K-2nd Grade) Thursday, July 28, 9 a.m.-noon, and Friday, July 29, 9 a.m.-noon; Roudnev Youth Ballet’s Nutcracker Prep (Ages 9 - 18) Monday, Aug. 1, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Tuesday, Aug. 2, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., and Wednesday, Aug. 3, 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

continued on page 27

Thursdays $10-$15 • FIRST 200 LADIES FREE 6pm-10pm

7.28 Ghost Town Blues Band 8.4 Almost Famous 8.11 Hillbilly Casino 8.18 Burning Las Vegas

#PBodyRoof • peabodymemphis.com

come early · stay late · turn up

m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

Huey’s Midtown 1927 MADISON 726-4372

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

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GRAHAM WINCHESTER & THE AMMUNITION 10PM J U LY 3 1

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ELIZABETH WISE 8PM AUGUST 3

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2 1 1 9 M A D I S O N AV E N U E MEMPHIS, TN 38104 (901) 207-5097 L A FAY E T T E S . C O M

After Dark: Live Music Schedule July 28 - August 3

551 S. MENDENHALL 762-8200

Intimate Piano Lounge featuring Charlotte Hurt Mondays-Thursdays, 5-9:30 p.m.; Larry Cunningham Fridays, Saturdays, 6-10 p.m.

Shelby Forest General Store

Pubapalooza with Stereo Joe every other Wednesday, 8-11 p.m.

Maria’s Restaurant 6439 SUMMER 356-2324

Karaoke Fridays, 5-8 p.m.

Fox and Hound Sports Tavern

7729 BENJESTOWN 876-5770

Arlington/Eads/ Oakland/Lakeland

Tony Butler Fridays, 6-8 p.m.

Collierville

Rizzi’s/Paradiso Pub

Huey’s Collierville

6230 GREENLEE 592-0344

2130 W. POPLAR 854-4455

Live Music Thursdays, Wednesdays, 7-10 p.m.; Karaoke and Dance Music with DJ Funn Fridays, 9 p.m.

Gary Escoe’s Atomic Dance Machine Sunday, July 31, 8-11:30 p.m.

Huey’s Germantown

The Crossing Bar & Grill

7677 FARMINGTON 318-3034

7281 HACKS CROSS, OLIVE BRANCH, MS 662-893-6242

Memphis All Stars Sunday, July 31, 8-11:30 p.m.

Ice Bar & Grill 4202 HACKS CROSS 757-1423

Unwind Wednesdays Wednesdays, 6 p.m.-midnight.

Karaoke with Buddha Tuesdays, Thursdays, 8 p.m.midnight.

Fitz Casino & Hotel 711 LUCKY LN., TUNICA, MS 800-766-5825

Dantones Band Friday, July 29, 4-8:45 p.m., and Saturday, July 30, 4-8:45 p.m.

Hollywood Casino

5101 SANDERLIN 763-2013

Karaoke Tuesdays, 9 p.m.

2016 Mazda CX-3

Huey’s Poplar 4872 POPLAR 682-7729

The Settlers Sunday, July 31, 4-7 p.m.; Charvey Mac’s Six String Lovers Sunday, July 31, 8:30 p.m.-midnight.

$23,470

Memphis Botanic Garden 750 CHERRY 636-4100

Live at the Garden: Billy Currington Friday, July 29, 6:30 p.m.

1150 CASINO STRIP RESORT, TUNICA, MS 662-357-7700

Live Entertainment Fridays, Saturdays, 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

Huey’s Southaven 7090 MALCO, SOUTHAVEN, MS 662-349-7097

Living Past Sundown Sunday, July 31, 8 p.m.-midnight; Karaoke Night Mondays, 8-10 p.m.

Landers Center 4660 VENTURE, SOUTHAVEN, MS 662-280-9120

590 N. PERKINS 761-9321

Jill Scott Saturday, July 30, 8 p.m.

T.J. Mulligan’s

5960 GETWELL, SOUTHAVEN, MS 662-890-2467

Mortimer’s Van Duren Solo Thursdays, 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Mesquite Chop House John Richardson Saturdays, 7-10 p.m.; Patio Party with Juno Marrs Wednesdays, 7-10 p.m.

1817 KIRBY 755-2481

Karaoke Tuesdays, 8 p.m.

Various locations WWW.UNDERGROUNDFINDING. COM

Dream Dates Pop-Up Dinner and House Concert Thursday, July 28 and Friday, July 29.

The Windjammer Restaurant 786 E. BROOKHAVEN CIRCLE 683-9044

Karaoke ongoing.

Poplar/I-240 East Tapas and Drinks 6069 PARK 767-6002

Carlos & Adam from the Late Greats Thursdays, 7-9 p.m.; Elizabeth Wise Tuesdays, 7-9 p.m.

$0down & $344mo

GOSSETT MAZDA

Owen Brennan’s Lannie McMillan Jazz Trio Sundays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

Summer/Berclair Barbie’s Barlight Lounge 661 N. MENDENHALL

Possum Daddy’s Karaoke Saturdays, 9 p.m.-2 a.m.

Tunica Roadhouse 1107 CASINO CENTER, TUNICA, MS 662-363-4900

Wadford’s Grill & Bar 474 CHURCH, SOUTHAVEN, MS 662-510-5861

662DJ, Karaoke/Open Mic Saturdays, 7-11 p.m.

G0118346 MSRP $24250-75 MO@2.34% GOSSETT DISCOUNT $780.00-INCLUDES ALL FACTORY REBATES & INCEN-PF $498.75 EXCL T,T&L-WAC-OFFER VALID THROUGH 7/30/16. DEALER STOCK ONLY NOT ALL CUSTOMERS MAY QUALIFY.

Raleigh Stage Stop 2951 CELA 382-1576

Neil’s Music Room

THE REGALIA, 6150 POPLAR 761-0990

Charlie Daniels Saturday, July 30, 8 p.m.

Live Music Fridays, Saturdays.

1870 Covington Pike • 901.388.8989 Gossettmazda.com

5727 QUINCE 682-2300

Jack Rowell’s Celebrity Jam Thursdays, 8 p.m.; Eddie Smith Fridays, 8 p.m.; Triple X Reunion Friday, July 29, 8:30 p.m.; Memphis Funk ‘n’ Horns Saturday, July 30, 8 p.m.; Band of Brothers Sunday, July 31, 5-9 p.m.; Debbie Jamison & Friends Tuesdays, 6-10 p.m.; Elmo and the Shades Wednesdays, 8 p.m.-midnight.

The Fitz 711 LUCKY LANE 1-800-766-LUCK

Whitehaven/ Airport Marlowe’s Ribs & Restaurant 4381 ELVIS PRESLEY 332-4159

Karaoke with DJ Stylez Thursdays, Sundays, 10 p.m.

Bartlett

Cordova

Hadley’s Pub

Fox and Hound Sports Tavern

2779 WHITTEN 266-5006

Hillbilly Mojo Thursday, July 28, 7 p.m.; Rewind Friday, July 29, 9 p.m.; Wolf River Rednecks Saturday, July 30, 9 p.m.; Charlie and Juno All Star Experience Sunday, July 31, 8 p.m.; Whiskey Revival Wednesday, Aug. 3, 8 p.m.

Old Whitten Tavern 2800 WHITTEN 379-1965

Live Music Fridays, 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

RockHouse Live 5709 RALEIGH-LAGRANGE 386-7222

Live Bands Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Open Mic Mondays Mondays, 8 p.m.-midnight; Live Music Tuesdays, Wednesdays, 8 p.m.-midnight.

Mesquite Chop House 3165 FOREST HILL-IRENE 249-5661

819 EXOCET 624-9060

Pam and Terry Wednesdays, 7-10 p.m.

Huey’s Cordova

Russo’s New York Pizzeria & Wine Bar

Karaoke Tuesdays, 9 p.m.

Open Mic Blues Jam with Brad Webb Thursdays, 7-11 p.m.

West Memphis/ Eastern Arkansas Southland Park Gaming & Racing 1550 N. INGRAM, WEST MEMPHIS, AR 800-467-6182

1771 N. GERMANTOWN PKWY. 754-3885

9087 POPLAR 755-0092

Live Music on the patio Thursdays-Saturdays, 7-10 p.m.

Live Music Fridays, Saturdays, 10 p.m.; Live Band Karaoke Wednesdays, 7 p.m.

Germantown

North Mississippi/ Tunica

The New Backdour Bar & Grill

Soul Shockers Sunday, July 31, 8:30 p.m.-midnight.

Bobby Lanier Farm Park 7901 POPLAR PIKE

Germantown Farm Park Farmers’ Market Thursdays, 4-7:30 p.m.

Huey’s Southwind 7825 WINCHESTER 624-8911

The Dantones Sunday, July 31, 8:30 p.m.-midnight.

BankPlus Amphitheater at Snowden Grove 6285 SNOWDEN, SOUTHAVEN, MS (662) 892-2660

Mercy Me w/ Jeremy Camp Friday, July 29, 7 p.m.

302 S. AVALON 596-7115

Ms. Ruby Wilson and Friends Sundays, 7 p.m.-midnight; Karaoke with Tim Bachus Mondays, 8 p.m.-1 a.m.; DJ Stylez Wednesdays, 8 p.m.1 a.m.

m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

Folk’s Folly Prime Steak House

High Point Pub 477 HIGH POINT TERRACE 452-9203

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

continued from page 25

SEE IT NOW AT THE

P!NK PALACE! EXHIBIT

CALENDAR of EVENTS:

July 28 - August 3

TH EAT E R

The Evergreen Theatre

The Drag Boat, set sail with Friends of George’s in a brand-new original drag musicalcomedy. (482-0502), www.friendsofgeorges.org. $25. Fridays, Saturdays, 8-10 p.m. Through Aug. 7. 1705 POPLAR (274-7139).

Houston High School

Music Man, Jr., master showman Harold Hill is in town, and he’s got “seventy-six trombones” in tow. www.gctcomeplay.org. July 29-Aug. 8. 9755 WOLF RIVER (756-2370).

Theatre Memphis

3D MOVIE

Debbie Sings: Judy, Just for You. (682-8323), theatrememphis.org. $30. Fri., Sat., 8-10 p.m., Sun., 2-4 p.m., and Thurs., 7:30-9:30 p.m. Through July 31. 630 PERKINS EXT. (682-8323).

TheatreWorks

Moon Vine. Winner of the 2014 NewWorks@ TheWorks Playwriting competition. www. playhouseonthesquare.org. Thurs.-Sat., 8 p.m., and Sun., 2 p.m. Through July 31. 2085 MONROE (274-7139).

Memphis College of Art, Nesin Graduate School

Artist reception for 2016 Biennial Alumni Exhibition, www.mca.edu. Fri., July 29, 6-9 p.m.

Closing reception for “Session 88.1 | She Love,” exhibition of illustrations expressing love for women by Siphne Aaye. Sat., July 30, 1-5 p.m. 1130 COLLEGE (590-4591).

Metal Museum

Artist reception for “Cu in Summer: Student Art Showcase,” exhibition of metal work by students. www.metalmuseum.org. Fri., July 29, 5-7 p.m. 374 METAL MUSEUM DR. (774-6380).

OTH E R A R T H A P P E N I N G S

“Another Bizarre Bazaar: The Art of Larry Edwards”

One-day show and sale. Sun., July 31, 1-6 p.m.

July 28-August 3, 2016

CROSSTOWN ARTS, 430 N. CLEVELAND (507-8030), WWW.CROSSTOWNARTS.ORG.

Battle of the Bells

Submit original song and be a part of a live audience performance. Judged by music pros. Free. Through Aug. 31. THE SALVATION ARMY KROC CENTER, 800 E. PARKWAY S. (270-9120), WWW.SALVATIONARMYMEMPHIS.ORG.

“Come As You Are” Free Portrait Days

Have your photograph made and take home a free print or digital file by studio resident Andrea Morales. Sundays, 1-5 p.m. Through Aug. 7. CROSSTOWN ARTS, 430 N. CLEVELAND (507-8030), WWW.CROSSTOWNARTS.ORG.

Hands on Activity: Gold Leafing

Create a brooch or bring a small object to gold leaf. Family-friendly event for ages 5 and older. Free for members, $10 nonmembers. Sat., July 30, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. METAL MUSEUM, 374 METAL MUSEUM DR. (774-6380), WWW.METALMUSEUM.ORG.

Introduction to Henna: A Hearts of Gold Pit Rescue Fund-raiser

THE DIXON GALLERY & GARDENS, 4339 PARK (761-5250), WWW.DIXON.ORG.

“Recrudescent: The Art of the Poster, 1980-2016” A collection of posters by Nick Canterucci. Fri., July 29, 6-9 p.m. CROSSTOWN ARTS, 430 N. CLEVELAND (507-8030), WWW.CROSSTOWNARTS.ORG.

Shoot & Splice: Misadventures in Screenwriting

Chris McCoy presents a case study in screenwriting, using his experiences writing his latest feature-length script Flash Crash to illustrate some lessons on the dark art. Tues., Aug. 2, 6:30-9 p.m.

When Writers Unite 2

Memphis Slim Collaboratory

BEST IN 2016?

Curator Emeritus, Achenbach Foundation for Graphic Arts, Fine Arts Museum of San Francisco, will discuss Henri Guérard’s fascination with fans. Free with admission. Sun., July 31, 2 p.m.

Crosstown Arts

477 S. MAIN.

WHO WILL BE THE

Opening lecture by Robert Flynn Johnson: “Fan Male”

CROSSTOWN ARTS, 430 N. CLEVELAND (507-8030), WWW.CROSSTOWNARTS.ORG.

430 N. CLEVELAND (507-8030).

P!NK PALACE MUSEUM

CANVAS, 1737 MADISON (443-5232).

A R TI ST R E C E PT I O N S Artist reception for “Gravity Waves,” exhibition of paintings challenging the viewers’ Jungian sense of personal experience. jacamp.weebly.com/gravitywaves.html. Thurs., July 28, 6-10 p.m.

PLANETARIUM

environment. Includes all supplies and wine or bottled waters. $25. Last Thursday of every month, 7 p.m. Through Dec. 31.

A skilled instructor will show you how to use a henna cone to make beginner designs. You will work on both paper and each other in a fun, social

Artists and youth will come together to close the generational gap between adolescents in the community and young adults who could artistically inspire them. Bring hygiene items, underclothing, and back-to-school items. Sat., July 30, 2-5 p.m. CROSSTOWN ARTS, 430 N. CLEVELAND (507-8030), WWW.CROSSTOWNARTS.ORG.

Zine Fest

Join fellow zine-sters for a fun-filled evening featuring work by our middle school and high school students. Free. Fri., July 29, 4-7 p.m. CROSSTOWN STORY BOOTH, 422 N. CLEVELAND (573-8444), WWW.CROSSTOWNARTS.ORG.

Send the date, time, place, cost, info, phone number, a brief description, and photos — two weeks in advance — to calendar@memphisflyer.com or P.O. Box 1738, Memphis, TN 38101. DUE TO SPACE LIMITATIONS, ONGOING WEEKLY EVENTS WILL APPEAR IN THE FLYER’S ONLINE CALENDAR ONLY. 985 S. BELLEVUE (948-9522).

C O M E DY

Cannon Center for the Performing Arts

Clean Comedy Experience #58, elegant affair with a black-and-white theme featuring comedy celebrities from BET, HBO, Comedy Central, and others. (951-444-1610), $25. Sat., July 30, 8-10:30 p.m. MEMPHIS COOK CONVENTION CENTER, 255 N. MAIN (TICKETS, 525-1515).

Hi-Tone

Don’t Be Afraid of Blacksmith Comedy 27, featuring Best of Memphis winner, multi-time finalist for Funniest Person in Memphis, co-host of the “You Look Like” roast show, and mother of two, Katrina Coleman. Special guest: Josh McLane. $5. Tues., Aug. 2, 8:15 p.m. 412-414 N. CLEVELAND (278-TONE).

Memphis Made Brewing Company

Drafts and Laughs 3, show with craft beer, the best comedians in town, original sketches, and benches made from real wood. (917-912-0389), $2. Thurs., July 28, 7:30-9:15 p.m. 768 S. COOPER (207-5343).

P&H Cafe

Open Mic Comedy, Thursdays, 9 p.m. 1532 MADISON (726-0906).

PO ET RY /S PO K E N WO R D

Amurica World Headquarters

Spillit Story Slam: Adventures and Travels, join us for an evening of your stories and opportunity

Comedy meets craft beer — Drafts and Laughs 3 at Memphis Made Brewing Company, Thursday, July 28

C A L E N D A R : J U LY 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 to share five minutes of you with a room full of kind folks who appreciate stories. www. spillitmemphis.org. $10. Fri., July 29, 7 p.m. 410 CLEVELAND.

B O O KS I G N I N G S

Booksigning by Angela Kay Austin

Author discusses and signs Run for Freedom. Fri., July 29, 6-9 p.m.

Author discusses and signs We Come to Our Senses. Thurs., July 28, 6:30 p.m. THE BOOKSELLERS AT LAURELWOOD, 387 PERKINS EXT. (683-9801), WWW.THEBOOKSELLERSATLAURELWOOD.COM.

L E CT U R E /S P EAK E R

Black Girls Code, Memphis: Women of Color in STEM Panel

For girls, ages 7 to 17 and their parents/guardians. Featuring a panel of women working in the fields of science, technology, engineering, and/or mathematics (STEM) discussing the gender gap in these fields in the U.S. Free. Sat., July 30, 1-4 p.m. MEMPHIS ACADEMY OF SCIENCE AND ENGINEERING, 1254 JEFFERSON (333-1580).

“The Future Is Female”

Featuring Real Talk with five young women currently studying at LeMoyne-Owen College, Rhodes College, and the University of Memphis. Thurs., July 28, 6-8 p.m. AMURICA WORLD HEADQUARTERS, 410 CLEVELAND, ASTEPAHEADFOUNDATION.ORG.

TO U R S

Old Forest Hike

Walking tour of the region’s only urban old-growth forest. Last Sunday of every month, 10 a.m. OVERTON PARK, OFF POPLAR (276-1387).

S P O R TS / F I TN ES S

Go Ape Treetop Adventure

Course in Shelby Farms Park open for its second season. Ongoing.

SHELBY FARMS, 500 N. PINE LAKE (767-PARK), WWW.GOAPE.COM.

M E ETI NGS

Just City Dialogues 4: #TopCopTalk Thurs., July 28, 5-6:30 p.m.

Zine Fest at Crosstown story booth. Friday. Free.

Listen for a Change: Sacred Conversations for Racial Justice

Opportunity to bring more people to the table and to deepen conversations and actions already taking root in our community. Fri.-Sun., July 29-31, 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

WHITEHAVEN BRANCH LIBRARY, 4120 MILLBRANCH (396-9700), TOPCOPTALK.SQUARESPACE.COM.

ST. MARY’S CATHEDRAL, 700 POPLAR (527-3361), WWW.STMARYSMEMPHIS.ORG.

Lapel Project: Women Inventors

RWOP General Meeting

Featuring panelists Dr. Esra Roan, Kayla Rodriguez Graff, Kelli Meade, and moderator Elizabeth Lemmonds. Light dinner served. Thurs., July 28, 5:30 p.m. COWORK MEMPHIS, 902 S. COOPER (505-0675), WWW.COWORKMEMPHIS.COM.

Featuring guest speaker Tennessee Senator Mark Norris. Lunch included. Register by phone or email, rwoplunch@gmail.com. $25. Wed., Aug. 3, 10:30 a.m. TPC AT SOUTHWIND, 3325 CLUB AT SOUTHWIND (413- 1262), WWW.REPUBLICANWOMENOFPURPOSE.COM.

continued on page 30

True Story:

Love one another. It’s that simple.

First Congregational Church

Bicycles. Actors. Dancers. Farmers.You call this a church? You bet we do!

Come be part of it.

www.firstcongo.com Phone: 901.278.6786 1000 South Cooper Memphis, TN 38104 Sunday Worship 10:30 am

SAVE THE DATE SUNDAY AUGUST 28TH STARTING AT 9AM BARDOG TAVERN

REGISTER AT BREAKAWAY RUNNING, BARDOG TAVERN, OR ONLINE (UNTIL 8/27) FOR $35 OR SAME DAY FOR $40. HTTPS://RACESONLINE.COM/EVENTS/BREAKAWAY-BARDOG-5K

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Booksigning by Odie Lindsey

m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

SOUTH MAIN BOOK JUGGLER, 548 S. MAIN (249-5370), WWW.ANGELAKAYAUSTIN.COM.

C A L E N D A R : J U LY 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 continued from page 29 KIDS

Harry Potter Midnight Party and Celebration

Countdown leading up to the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, a special rehearsal edition script book, giveaways, and activities. Celebration on Sunday. Sat., July 30, 8 p.m.-midnight, and Sun., July 31, 10 a.m. BARNES & NOBLE, 2774 N. GERMANTOWN (386-2468), WWW.BN.COM.

Roudnev Youth Ballet’s Nutcracker Prep Camp (Ages nine to 18)

Comprehensive camp for dancers ages 9 to 18. All participants will get a role in the Nutcracker production, which will be cast during camp. $285. Aug. 1-5, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. BUCKMAN ARTS CENTER AT ST. MARY’S SCHOOL, 60 N. PERKINS EXT. (537-1483), WWW.STMARYSSCHOOL.ORG.

Storytime: Secret Pizza Party

Raccoon loves pizza more than anything else. But everyone is always chasing him away with brooms. The only solution is to throw a party. Sat., July 30, 11-11:30 a.m. BARNES & NOBLE, 2774 N. GERMANTOWN (386-2468), WWW.BN.COM.

Youth Zine Workshop

Free for middle- and high-school

students. Register online or by email, nat@crosstownarts.org. Through July 29, 2-4:30 p.m. CROSSTOWN STORY BOOTH, 422 N. CLEVELAND (507-8030), WWW.CROSSTOWNARTS.ORG.

S P EC I A L EVE N TS

Benefit Concert for Ruby Wilson

Featuring special guests, entertainment, live music, and silent auction. All proceeds go to Ruby Wilson. $10. Sun., July 31, 2-6 p.m. B.B. KING’S BLUES CLUB, 143 BEALE (524-KING).

Early Voting for Federal and State Primary and County General Election Through July 30.

VARIOUS LOCATIONS, SEE WEBSITE FOR MORE INFORMATION, WWW.SHELBYVOTE.COM.

Explore Memphis 2016

Interactive summer learning program that encourages families to read, attend library programs and events, and explore city attractions free of charge. Free. Through July 31. WWW.MEMPHISLIBRARY.ORG.

Get Pop Cultured

See website for comic convention special events including Star Wars, Manga, Pokémon, and more. Through Aug. 6. BARNES & NOBLE, 2774 N. GERMANTOWN (386-2468), WWW.BN.COM.

July 30-31, 10 a.m.

Harry Potter Midnight Release Party

LANDERS CENTER (DESOTO CIVIC CENTER), 4560 VENTURE, SOUTHAVEN, MS (863-268-4273), WWW.REPTICON.COM.

The bookstore will be transformed into Hogwarts, featuring magical activities for all ages, including a costume contest and HP Trivia. Sat., July 30, 10 p.m.-midnight.

Scenes of the Dinosaurs

Travel back in time to when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and get closer than you ever could have imagined. Visit the life-like dinosaurs and interactive learning stations. Free for members. Through Oct. 2.

THE BOOKSELLERS AT LAURELWOOD, 387 PERKINS EXT. (683-9801), WWW.THEBOOKSELLERSATLAURELWOOD.COM.

A Mid-Summer Renaissance Night at the Academy

MEMPHIS PINK PALACE MUSEUM, 3050 CENTRAL (636-2362), WWW.MEMPHISMUSEUMS.ORG.

Renaissance music and costumes sneak preview of scheduled performances at the Mid-South Renaissance Faire at Shelby Farms the last two weekends of August. Fri., July 29, 5-8 p.m.

Shades of Blue: A Celebration of Memphis Music and History

Brings the community together to explore our historical roots and examines how racism, antisemitism, and prejudice affect the choices we face every day. Featuring Alvin Youngblood Hart, food, and sponsor deck access. Sun., July 31, 6:30 p.m.

HOWARD VANCE GUITAR ACADEMY, 978 REDDOCH (767-6940), WWW.HOWARDVANCE.COM.

National Dance Day Celebration

Free Beginner Hustle class followed by time to mingle and practice. Dance off for title of Hustle King and Queen. Prize for best 70s costume. Free. Sat., July 30, 1-3 p.m. CAT’S BALLROOM, 45 BB KING (359-6467), CATSBALLROOM.COM.

Paris Chanel Agency Grand Opening

Paris Chanel Modeling, Talent, and Marketing Agency, INC. is having their grand opening. RSVP is required. Space is limited. Sat., July 30, 1-3 p.m.

SHARE THE RIDE Less Fuel….Less Pollution….Less Stress

UNION CENTRE, 1331 UNION (881-3556), WWW.PARISAGENCYGRANDOPENING.COM.

Peabody Rooftop Party

Each week features entertainment, themed snack buffet, and drink specials. $10-$15. Thursdays, 6-10 p.m. Through Aug. 18. THE PEABODY, 149 UNION (529-4000), WWW.PEABODYMEMPHIS.COM.

Grand Opening for Paris Chanel Modeling, Talent, and Marketing Agency Repticon Memphis Reptile & Exotic Animal Show

Reptile event featuring vendors offering reptile pets, supplies, feeders, cages, and merchandise as well as live animal seminars and raffles. $10. Sat.-Sun.,

LEVITT SHELL, OVERTON PARK (272-2722), FACINGHISTORY.ORG.

Silent Disco Wizard’s Ball

In the spirit of the festivities for Potterfest, potions will be cooked up at the bar in the form of mixed drinks and wizardly decorations for this one-of-akind ball. Costumes encouraged. 21+ event. $10-$15. Fri., July 29, 10 p.m. REC ROOM, 3000 BROAD (209-1137).

SINGLE BURGER COMBOS INCLUDES:

July 28-August 3, 2016

MEDIUM FRIES & 32 OZ. DRINK

PROGRAM

MIDSOUTHCLEANAIR.ORG

GET ONE 2 PC DARK DINNER

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Dine In & Drive Thru: 3571 Lamar Ave • 2520 Mt Moriah Drive Thru / Carry Out: 1217 S. Bellevue • 4349 Elvis Presley • 811 S Highland

2484 Jackson Ave • 1370 Poplar Ave • 890 Thomas

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Unforgettable: 117 Years of Excellence Grand Reunion 2016

Celebrate Manassas High School with a class reunion for all years. For more information, call 490-7669 or email yacobbs98@yahoo.com. $250. Thurs., July 28, 4 p.m. HOLIDAY INN SELECT, 2240 DEMOCRAT (581-9111).

Volunteer Opportunity: Trail Work

Meet at temporary Visitor Center. Wear closed-toe shoes, and bring a personal water bottle. Gloves are encouraged. Sat., July 30, 9 a.m.-noon. SHELBY FARMS, 500 N. PINE LAKE (767-PARK), WWW.SHELBYFARMSPARK.ORG.

VARIOUS LOCATIONS, SEE WEBSITE FOR MORE INFORMATION, WWW.CITYTASTINGTOURS.COM.

Dream Dates Pop-Up Dinner and House Concert

Dinner at a private home on Thursday and a concert at Ardent Recording Studio on Friday with Holly Houx, Emma Swift, and Frenchtrained nomadic chef and founder of Underground Fine Dining, Dustin Brandt. Thurs., July 28, and Fri., July 29. VARIOUS LOCATIONS, SEE WEBSITE FOR MORE INFORMATION, WWW. UNDERGROUNDFINEDINING.COM.

Food Truck Fridays

Fridays, 11:30 a.m. Through Sept. 30.

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Auction at Graceland

Online bidding begins July 25 for rare authenticated Elvis memorabilia. Through Aug. 13. GRACELAND, 3717 ELVIS PRESLEY (332-3322), WWW.GRACELANDAUCTIONS.COM.

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Downtown Food Tours

Savor tastings at five popular eateries, interact with chefs and managers, and sample a range of local flavors while learning about Memphis historic landmarks. Meeting location

THE DIXON GALLERY & GARDENS, 4339 PARK (761-5250), WWW.DIXON.ORG.

Taste of the Town

Featuring live music and local chefs presenting a taste of their best benefiting Main Street West Memphis. $35. Tues., Aug. 2, 6-9 p.m. SOUTHLAND PARK GAMING & RACING, 1550 N. INGRAM, WEST MEMPHIS, AR (870-735-8814), WWW. BROADWAYWESTMEMPHIS.COM.

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Lincoln Center: Alvin Ailey including Revelations

The program continues with Wayne McGregor’s Chroma, Ronald K. Brown’s Grace, and Robert Battle’s Takademe. $19. Tues., Aug. 2, 7 p.m. MALCO PARADISO CINEMA, 584 S. MENDENHALL (682-1754), WWW.MALCO.COM.

Memphis Heat: The True Story of Memphis Rasslin

Roundhouse Revival Film Series featuring special twilight fairgrounds tour led by Memphis historian Jimmy Ogle, Beatles’ cartoons, and feature presentation. Free. Sat., July 30, 6:30 p.m. MID-SOUTH COLISEUM, 996 EARLY MAXWELL (274-3982), WWW.COLISEUMCOALITION.ORG.

Movie Mania

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National Parks Adventure 3D

Ultimate off-trail adventure into the nation’s awe-inspiring great outdoors and untamed wilderness. Through Nov. 11. CTI 3D GIANT THEATER, IN THE MEMPHIS PINK PALACE MUSEUM, 3050 CENTRAL (636-2362), WWW.MEMPHISMUSEUMS.ORG.

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people know Ghost River now.” Hieroglyph was enlisted for the rebranding. “You can’t have a name like Ghost River and not do something really great with it,” says Josh Horton of Hieroglyph. Initially, the idea was to do something outdoorsy. That was struck for coloring and images for each beer that tell a story. There are gold coins on the Gold label; the beer is Ghost River’s bestselling beer by far. “It’s been our bread

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feasible to run an operation off-site for 20 hours while maintaining the brewery. Ghost River’s building offered no give, either — until it did. “We didn’t have room,” Randall says. “Then we said, ‘Let’s tear down some walls.’ Sure enough, we have the space.” Ghost River offers three core brands: Ghost River Gold (formerly Golden Ale), Riverbank Red, and 1887. The 1887, an IPA named after the year the sand aquifer was first tapped, is now offered year-round — a nod to Ghost River’s overall rebranding. The cypress tree, the unifying visual element of all of Ghost River’s beers, has been axed for a look that gives each beer a strong identity. “When we first started, we needed brand recognition. We needed people to know Ghost River,” Randall says. “Well,

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he space is a mess — dusty concrete floors, hanging wires, pipes sticking out of the floor, plastic hung over doorways. But soon, this will be Ghost River Brewing’s new taproom. The new taproom comes, along with a change in branding, just in time for the craft brewery’s 10th anniversary. The space was carved out of the front of the Ghost River building. Office

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and butter beer. It speaks well to the palates of non-craft beer consumers,” Randall says. “It’s a wonderful stepping stone out of mass-produced light lagers and moving into craft beer.” The Riverbank features a copperhead snake on the label, which delves into a bit of Ghost River history. Riverbank started as Home Run Red, which was brewed to be served at AutoZone Park during Redbirds games. The beer proved to be a hit, so they decided to make it year-round, which necessitated a name change. They landed on Copperhead Red, but were thwarted when they discovered a Copperhead Pale already existed. The 1887 has a bird’s-eye view of a well, a tribute to the sand aquifer. “It’s a nighttime scene. You can see the crescent moon reflecting off the water

in the bottom of the well, and there are ripples across the water like someone’s thrown a coin down and made a wish,” Randall says. Each label has a black background, connnoting mystery and harking back to the ghost. On the bottle neck label is a lantern, which has multiple meanings, including the idea that Ghost River, as the first modern brewery in Memphis, led the way. As for getting rid of the cypress tree, there was some pushback. “There’s a lot of love for the cypress tree, and there are a lot of people who miss it,” Randall says. “Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of a story associated with it, and we’re finding that our prime market really wants to have a story involved.” The new branding kicked in about six weeks ago, and the taproom could be open as soon as early October. “It’s coming up,” Randall says. “Closer and closer.” Ghost River Brewing, 827 S. Main, 278-0140, ghostriverbrewing.com

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Star Trek Beyond The new crew of the Enterprise finally gets it right.

July 28-August 3, 2016

t ain’t easy being a Trekkie. From the beginning, we’ve been an aggrieved bunch. The fandom coalesced in 1968, when NBC threatened to cancel the original Star Trek after two seasons, prompting a “Save Trek” letterwriting campaign organized by sci-fi zines and word of mouth. It worked, but the third season had fewer classic episodes, which led to Trekkies discovering their other favorite pastime: Complaining about Star Trek. In the 1970s, as Trekkies were successfully lobbying to have the first space shuttle named Enterprise, they backed series creator Gene Roddenberry’s quest to create a new series. After the tremendous success of Star Wars, those ideas were transported onto the big screen for 1979’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Trekkies were gleeful, because not only did they have new Trek to watch, but, since many found the film to be ponderous and selfimportant, they also had new stuff to complain about. For director Nicholas Meyer’s 1982 sequel, The Wrath of Khan, the haters were drowned out by the cries of Trekkies grieving for the death of Spock. When the franchise (and Leonard Nimoy, who had his own love/hate relationship with Trek) gave them what they wanted and brought Spock back to life in the third installment, Trekkies declared that “odd-numbered Trek movies are always bad.” Star Trek: The Next Generation debuted in 1987, and for the first two seasons, Trekkies, who were tuning in religiously every week, hated Captain Picard. Then he was assimilated by the Borg, and everyone decided they had always loved him and please don’t take him away. And so it went for 25 seasons of four consecutive spin-off

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series until Enterprise went off the air in 2005 just as it was getting good again. At this point, it probably will not surprise you to learn that I was less than impressed with the two J.J. Abrams-directed reboot films, Star Trek (2009) and Star Trek Into Darkness (2013). Sure, they looked good, and the new crew, led by Zachary Quinto as Spock, was well cast, but the writing—done by the same team who wrote Transformers—was just downright stupid. Abrams

ditched Roddenberry’s techno-utopian humanism in favor of post-9/11 paranoid cynicism. The tenor of the times was not a good fit for Trek. So it was with considerable trepidation I approached Star Trek Beyond. Abrams jumped ship for Star Wars, but his replacement is Justin Lin, best known for three Fast & Furious movies. The screenplay is by Simon Pegg, the comedy writer behind Shaun of the Dead, who is also returning for his third go-round as Scotty.

Pegg’s script elevates Star Trek Beyond to the best Trek movie since 1996’s First Contact. Chris Pine’s rendition of Captain James T. Kirk has been the weakest link in the rebooted cast, but in the film’s opening scene, when Kirk’s diplomatic mission spirals into farce, Pine finally finds the handle on the character. Later, when a a rescue mission to an unknown planet turns into an ambush, the Enterprise crash lands, scattering the crew. Pegg’s script pairs off Spock and Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban), giving the two frenemies some great scenes together as they fight for survival in the alien wilderness. Uhura (Zoe Saldana) and Sulu (John Cho) both get meatier roles, and Idris Elba provides a credible villain with the fascist space vampire Krall. While the character moments are the best parts, Trek has never looked better. The frontier of the Federation doesn’t simply resemble rural California, and the gravity-bending design of Starbase Yorktown is an instant classic. The second-act space battle between the Enterprise and a swarm of Krall’s drones is visually inventive Sofia Boutella and harrowing. But, as the film (left) and progresses, Lin’s tics resurface. Simon Pegg in Star Trek He puts Kirk on a motorcycle, Beyond his nervously roaming camera becomes tiresome, and he fumbles the climax, which seems to be on loan from Guardians of the Galaxy. What Pegg and Lin get right is the sense of camaraderie among the diverse crew. Star Trek Beyond carries Roddenberry’s conviction that we can solve our problems by sticking together and applying equal parts compassion and logic, and its optimism is catchy. Star Trek Beyond Now playing Multiple locations

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TH E LAST WO R D by Tim Sampson

Donald Trump

#BKatDQ

m e m p h i s f l y e r. c o m

I am dreaming about December. Not because of the Christmas holiday. I am not a fan of crowds trampling each other like animals, trying to get the best deal on gadgets. No, I’m dreaming of December for several other reasons, the two main ones being that it will be less than 110 degrees outside, and I can get off the political crack pipe and not torture myself by watching political conventions or watching the news about the elections. Donald Trump will either be president and I can adapt accordingly, or he will lose and go away. I just want it to be over. The Republican National Convention is indeed crack. You know watching it is bad for you, but you’re hooked, albeit only out of morbid curiosity. And I’m not talking about plagiarized speeches. I actually feel sorry for Melania Trump for that snafu but not as sorry for her as I feel because she’s married to the Antichrist who will no doubt gold leaf the White House if he wins the presidential election. It’s just that each speaker seemed to be more insane than the preceding one, and I couldn’t seem to stop watching them. I must have done something in a past life that I’m punishing myself for. By the time this issue of the paper comes out, that whole debacle will all be over and the Democratic National Convention will be well underway, and I’m just hoping for the best. Having said that, I did not watch Trump’s acceptance speech. I just couldn’t. I feared it would be too much to bear, and from what I’ve seen of the news clips and what I’ve read, my intuition was right. He pissed off pretty much the whole world except for the lemmings who buy into his fear-mongering and isolationism. We are the butt of the joke of the entire planet — except for maybe Russia, where he got good press on his remarks. And speaking of butts and dreaming of the election being over, we need this 8th Congressional District race to be OVER NOW and never again allow the candidates to buy television commercials during the campaign. If I see those two women drooling and drawling on and on and on about George Flinn one more time, I think I’m going to actually start smoking crack. Nothing personal against Flinn or the women. He’s not a bad guy. The women are probably perfectly sweet in real life. But those commercials give me much the same feeling as having shingles and being in the desert and having someone throw me against a giant cactus and pour gasoline on me. I hope I don’t know the people at the advertising agency who created those commercials. Who the hell needs a shovel to put a campaign sign in a yard? The really sick thing? I want to see more. I want to see just how bad they can get. I also need to see a shrink. And other commercials aren’t much better. Among my favorites are the ones for David Kustoff, in which the voice over says, “Pro gun, pro life.” Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron given everything that’s going on around us? And why does this guy — or any of the candidates trying to be the congressional king of West Tennessee — think he can defeat ISIS? Hell, the entire U.S. government, FBI, CIA, and military haven’t been able to do that, but he promises that he can? And then there’s Brian Kelsey. Again, nothing personal, but this is the guy who introduced the legislation some time back that would allow business owners to refuse service to gay people. It wasn’t until it got national, humiliating press that he backed off that one and went back to Dairy Queen. I’m not kidding. This is a recent post from his Facebook page: “Tonight I spoke at the Tipton County Reagan Day Dinner, and afterwards I stopped by the Milington [sic] Dairy Queen to speak with voters! #BKatDQ”. Now, if that’s not the way to wipe out ISIS, I don’t know what is. But he really knows how to get great legislation passed. One totally awesome bill he sponsored and helped get signed into law “prohibits state funds from being expended in support of the office for diversity and inclusion at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville; diverts such funding to a program for placing decals of the national motto on local and state law enforcement vehicles.” SWEET. Forget diversity, and put decals on cars instead. Maybe I’m taking this out of context, but it just doesn’t seem like a rule that would stick. So come on, December. Or better yet, come on, January 20, 2017. If Hillary Clinton gets sworn in, we (or at least some of us) can breathe a little better. We know the White House won’t be gold-leafed. We know there won’t be a Rolls Royce or a Bentley parked out front with a doorman. However, if Donald Trump wins the election and indeed is sworn in, we’ll never have to worry about crime or terrorism again, because on that day, he “alone” will fix it.

THE LAST WORD

REUTERS/AARON P. BERNSTEIN

I just want it to be over.

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