Reading erotica is a valid first step to learning about sex

Sex is still a taboo topic in many parts of the world -- within America and outside of it. When one is shamed for discussing it, finding resources may be scary. Stumbling across it in a book may be the first step into even knowing how it works.

By Atirikta Kumar

Books open our minds to different kinds of worlds, perspectives and realities.

We learn about various forms of cultures, places and perspectives from reading different genres. Reading can help us better understand ourselves and the world around us, so it’s reasonable to learn about sex through reading fiction – specifically erotica.

Growing up in India, topics like relationships outside of marriage, sex and even periods, are considered taboo, among many others. Given the tight-lipped nature of anything related to sex, my school in India had little to no information on sex-ed. In fact, the boys and girls were separated in my seventhgrade biology class when the chapter was on puberty.

Skimming through everything in the textbooks, this chapter was a whisper in the curriculum that semester. Girls and boys could not talk about it in front of each other, and how could we, when we didn’t know what to talk about? There was just this knowledge that our bodies go through changes when we are growing up, and that there is something called sex that happens and that’s how babies are made.

When I moved to Texas at the start of my freshmen year in 2017, I wasn’t taught sex-ed in any of my health classes. I’m not sure whether it was because my class already had a lesson on that prior

to freshmen year, or it was because my school didn’t teach sex-ed.

With practically no knowledge about sex, my first encounter with any form of sexual relations was when I unknowingly stumbled across a sex scene in a book I was reading my junior year of high school. I barely had any sex-ed knowlage, so while I knew that sex was two people being intimate, I had no knowledge of what it entailed and or anything surrounding it. Instead, I only knew it to be something ominous because of its taboo nature, both within the school and the environment in India.

At first, I was very confused when I first read a sex scene, and a little embarrassed too. I skimmed through it at first and eventually, as I started reading more fantasy and new adult books that included such scenes I became more comfortable with it. I essentially learned what sex was and what it entailed: intercourse, foreplay, sexual and emotional intimacy through books that included explicit scenes.

It is important to note that while some romance novels may include explicit scenes, not all of them do. There is a distinction between a romance novel that includes sex and an erotica novel. considering safe and sound sex, especially for women, can lead them to not know anything about sexual relations until later in life. Important topics like consent, queer sex, sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases and sexual intimacy are not taught in sex-ed classes in school, and in Texas sometimes not at all.

Literature becomes a safe way of consuming and learning about sex. Erotica is defined as ‘art intended to arouse sexual attraction.’

Everything I know about sex education comes from first discovering intimate scenes in books, and then going on to read more about sex-ed. While reading is a valid and safe way of learning about sex, it’s not created with the intent of education and is not always accurate. It can in turn promote toxic ideas.

However, erotica is mainly targeted towards females. Women react better to reading erotica as it caters to their emotions. It, unlike visual porn, does not use women as a means to an end. That in turn helps the women to take control of their sexuality and understand it.

And reading erotica can be a great way to deal with anxiety and stress, and be better for your mental health. The books can help turn negative emotions into positive ones. Through detailed prose, erotica gives the readers an emotional connection.

Along with that, has there been a novel where the female main character does not finish? Reading can give women a chance to explore what they like sexually and advocate for themselves in bed. When women become accustomed to this idea in books, it may lead to the normalization and expectation that both parties finish every time.

Many books that have themes such as ‘alpha males’ and ‘damsels in distress,’ can have explicit scenes that draw comparisons to sexual assault. It is important to note that while literature can be a helpful tool, it is a work of fiction.Not all relationships and sexual expereicnes in books are healthy representations of real life scenarios.

The books might not be completely accurate, but they give their reader a safe space and the privacy to think about what they have read and liked. Through different stories, the readers can also gauge an understanding of how a couple could build-up to sex and manage it within the context of their lives, unlike porn which often just shows people having sex with little context.