Hospice Nurse Keeps Spirits High

Planting Seeds

Hospice nurse keeps spirits high

By Mackenzie Tewksbury Greenville: Life in The East Photos by Juliette Cooke

Hillary Jarman picks out flowersat Plant And See Nurseryin Winterville

Hillary Jarman is no stranger to nurturing planted seeds, whether she’s in her backyard gardening or helping families find peace in what her hospice patients leave behind.

“Rather than focusing on that the person is gone, I focus on the life they lived and the people they’ve touched and the seeds they’ve planted. That’s what’s really important,” she said.

Jarman is a R.N. Case Manager at AseracareHospice in Winterville. Hospice, or “comfort care”as Jarman explained it, is the care patients receivewhen curative treatmentsare no longer effective or thepatient no longer wishes toreceive curative treatments.The 25-year-old spends herday tending to 10, 12 or even15 patients, working withdoctors, social workers,nursing homes, families,etc, in an attempt to keepher patients —who are oftensuffering from terminallyill diseases — in the know,while also keeping theirspirits high. And whetherthat’s attending weddings,talk ing a nd laughing,amending crisis’ or providing medical procedures,Jarman has learned to stay on her toes — prioritizingpatients’ needs and truly expecting the unexpected.

“My day can change in the blink of an eye,” Jarman

...I focus on the life they lived and the people they’ve touched and the seeds they’ve planted.

said. “And when they need you, they need you.”Jarman has no “cookie cutter” patient, as each

of her relationships with her patients is extremelydifferent. But, they do haveone thing in common — sheremembers they are reallyjust like her.

“You make su re toremember t hey a re aperson. They are not justsome disease and symptom.Everybody has their ownstory,” Jarman said.

A nd wh i le ho s pices omet i me s c a r r ie s anegative con notation,Jarman said it’s really justfinding ways to comfortthe patient using a holisticapproach. If a patient hasheart failure and fluid built up in their body, insteadof trying to cure it, she’ll focus on helping withfluid—trying to make the patient as comfortable aspossible.

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“Everyone always just jumps to the conclusion that the person is giving up — they just lay there and die. That’s not the case. A lot of the time, we just change the focus of treatment. We can’t cure the patient, so we focus on symptom management,” Jarman said.

Jarman studied nursing and is a 2015 graduate from Lenoir Community college in Kinston. She decided to try hospice care, but for her, it wasn’t so much as a natural fit as it was stepping out on a limb. She said she had good experiences with hospice care with her family members, and she didn’t really know exactly what she wanted to do after graduation, she thought she’d give it a shot.

And three years later, Jarman has treated more patients than she can count, going in and out of homes, hospitals, nursing homes and talking to patients about her life. She said hospice has taught her more about herself than she thought was possible, and forced her out of her com-

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fort zone, making her a more talkative, outgoing person.

“I used to be very shy about meeting new people,” Jarman said. “I was quiet, timid and not very outgoing. Just on my own. It was putting me out of my comfort zone.”

Jarman, as a people pleaser, said it was hard at first to be able to have the really honest, difficult conversations required to do her job, but it came with ease over time.

Jarman said some patients are strictly business — they want to know what’s going on and that’s it — while others want to sit and talk with her about her husband, her friends and her life for hours. She said her biggest goal is just finding out what the patient wants and tending to their needs as much as possible, even if it means ordering a movie off Amazon and watching it with them.

“I like to talk to them just like I would with every other person. Thats the biggest thing. Trying not to always treat them like they’re dying,” Jarman said. “They don’t need to be reminded of that.”

Even though Jarman is often caring for patients at the end of their lives, she said there is still some beauty and peace in the day to day hospice care, calling it a “celebration of life” instead of grief.

And although there are times where Jarman can grieve with her patients, she tries to always keep a positive outlook, finding her own peace by planting seeds in her relationships and in her backyard.

“I want the whole world to just be plants,” Jarman said with a laugh.

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