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Her — Fall 2019
Meet our team
From the editor Fifty years ago, in August 1969, almost a half a million people descended on a dairy farm in rural New York to attend Woodstock. It was a concert that birthed hippies, rock music, peace, love and happiness. There might have been some sex, drugs and rock and roll, but peace and happiness were at its core. Woodstock to this day still reminds us that music has the ability to heal and transform the world and
Christina Ruotolo Editor
that people can still live harmoniously. My dad, Nick, was 22 when Woodstock happened. He was a hippie living in New England, had long hair, a thick mustache, wore bell bottoms and loved folk music. He was a free thinker studying to be a scientist, loved astronomy, writing poetry, painting and playing the banjo. He married my mom three years later and they had two kids. Growing up in the '80s he was
Deborah Griffin Photographer
Christina Ruotolo is an advertising account executive, Hot Dish writer, and a creative writing instructor at Pitt Community College. She enjoys reading, is addicted to HGTV and is a proud mom to a pug named Tex.
Brandi Callahan Designer
Deborah Griffin, is a reporter and photographer with The Daily Reflector. She lives on a farm in Williamston with her husband and their two boys. She regularly contributes to Eastern Living magazine.
Karen Eckert Contributor
Jackie Sugg is a registered dietitian at the Pitt County Health Department.
still that hippie. He drove a white Volkswagen van, a “bus” that was big enough for me to walk around in. We would listen to Peter, Paul and Mary, The Kingston Trio and The Brothers Four, singing loudly on road trips. My dad wore a fedora and strummed his banjo at night and
Chris L. Tyndall Contributor
Jackie Sugg Contributor
Brandi is a graphic designer at The Daily Reflector. Her interests include loud music, surreal art and good food. Contact her at bcallahan@reflector. com. Karen Eckert is a reporter at The Daily Reflector and a writer for Her magazine. She was born in Florida but has lived in several places in North Carolina. She enjoys reading, traveling and spending time with her family. Chris L. Tyndall is a partner with Tyndall Stroud Wealth Management LLC. He helps clients design income, savings and investment plans to address key retirement risks.
we danced with wild abandon. In a way, my childhood was a mini Woodstock, and I thank my parents for those beautiful moments. Inside this issue let us take you back to 1969. You will reminisce and be reminded to find yourself in music, breathe, meditate, dance and let that hippie vibe move you.
Joy Moses-Hall Contributor
Joy Moses-Hall teaches physics and astronomy at Pitt Community College. She has a doctorate in oceanography and is the author of the novel Wretched Refuge.
Allyson Daugherty is a physical therapist with over 20 years of experience. She enjoys spending time with her family and two pugs, practicing Pilates, Yoga, Allyson Daugherty gardening and reading lots of books. Contributor
Contents Cover Story
4 A Life-changing experience: Greenville resident Beth Capillary remembers Woodstock 50 years later
Food
10 Her Nutrition
Inside
9, 19 Her Panel 11 Empower mothers to breast feed 12-13 HER Remembers 1969
Contact Her Christina Ruotolo — editor
14-15 HER Remembers Woodstock 16 Scene Around: Sunday in the park – The Monitors Concert 18 Woodstock Sonata: A concert overlooked 20 Budget and Save 21 Business Spotlight 22-24 Healthy Relaxation 25 Crossword Puzzles 26-28 Sexual Revolution 29 HER Happenings
Meet Her
30 Mary Elizabeth Capillary
Christina Ruotolo | Editor | 329-9532 Craig Springer | Advertising | 329-9632 Brandi Callahan | Designer | 329-9598 Email: cruotolo@reflector.com
Her — Fall 2019
Cover image of the 1965 VW Bus "Ernie" is located at Joe Pecheles Volkswagen in Greenville 3
A life-changing experience By Christina Ruotolo
Greenville resident Beth Capillary remembers Woodstock 50 years later
The year of 1969 is considered one of the most influential and important periods in our recent history. A man finally landed and walked on the moon, the Beatles made their final public performance in London, and 250,000 people marched in Washington in protest of the Vietnam War, which had been raging since 1965. Members of a cult headed up by Charles Manson murdered five people, including actress Sharon Tate, Hurricane Camille made landfall on the Mississippi coast killing 248 people, the United Kingdom abolished the death penalty, and police forces were cracking down on student protests in the U.S. It’s no wonder the hippies, young people and free thinkers were looking for an escape, and it would come in August of 1969 in the form of an open air concert called Woodstock. Greenville resident Beth Capillary was a rising senior attending East Carolina University in 1969 and was dating her now husband, Tony. They met a few months earlier in April 1969 while attending an outdoor concert in Atlanta. They both enjoyed concerts with folk and rock musicians. “My music preferences ranged from folk to rock and blues. I loved the beat and rhythms but it had to be about the message for me and the connections to the lyrics.” Beth was studying political science and had been involved in the civil rights movement and antiwar movements of that time like so many others. The idea of hippies and those choosing their own path were growing steadily in the world, and Beth was part of that crowd. “I was living in Kenansville and attending ECU. Tony and I really wanted to go to Woodstock, so Tony worked in tobacco that entire summer in order to earn enough money so we could go while I was attending summer school. I guess we were considered hippies in the way we dressed and the people we associated with, but we still had a strong sense of wanting to make a difference in society. I wanted to be with people who were authentic, kind, and nonjudgmental. I was also searching for spiritual insight as to what it all meant to be me and how I could best serve my fellowman.” Tony earned enough money for him and Beth to attend Woodstock, so she put her school books away and they headed out for an adventure that little did they know would be an anchor on the memories for the rest of their lives. “I was 21 when I went to Woodstock. Four of us from
ECU drove an older model Chrysler which was very roomy but bad on gas mileage. I went with my boyfriend and two other guys. We were some of the few who had planned and purchased the $18 tickets in advance for the event. We left early and arrived Thursday night before the event started so we avoided most of the long lines and traffic jams. We spent our first night in a farmer’s barn in our sleeping bags. On Friday we began to see the thousands pour in and hear the stories of people abandoning their cars and walking in.” Even though Beth and Tony had tickets, they soon learned that the lack of proper event planning by event organizers turned the paid concert into a free concert and the people started rolling in droves. “Rumors were rampant about it becoming a free concert and who was coming. Maybe even the Beatles and Bob Dylan who had not been advertised! By Friday night the roads were clogged and no one could get in or out except by foot it seemed. “The concert started late but we had good seats and saw the first act: Richie Havens who performed for over two hours. I was afraid to move because I didn’t want to lose my spot and since I am also directionally challenged, I was terrified of losing Tony and never finding him again. We had some food and drinks we had brought with us so we were OK the first day. “Later Friday night, I remember my hero Joan Baez playing and talking about her husband, David, who was in prison for war resistance. Joan Baez and Bob Dylan were my first concerts in high school, so I was really looking forward to hearing her again. I remember thinking that she looked tired and sad.” Joan Baez was actually six months pregnant at the time of Woodstock. Rounding out the evening were Arlo Guthrie and Ravi Shankar. Later that night, it started raining and the thousands of spectators were drenched by rain but their spirits were not dampened in the slightest. They took the deluge in stride
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and danced in the rain and in mud puddles as the music played on. “I don’t remember when the rain started but I know that by Saturday morning we were all soaked and getting around became difficult. Thankfully we had most of our belongings in our car and we could still access dry clothes and even get respite from the rain for a few minutes. Most people had no shelter and some stayed in their wet sleeping bags in front of the stage for several days. We wore shorts and tees, bell bottoms and I wore short dresses. After day one, bras were optional. I remember being so dirty and muddy that I was willing to take a bath in a local pond with hundreds of others, most of whom were naked. I was too shy to shed everything so I wore my bra and undies and felt like I was in a bathing suit. Nudity was everywhere as was promiscuity, but somehow it didn’t seem ugly but freeing in a sense.” Within the first two days, food ran out and many had reactions to a bad batch of LSD that was going around. Beth said drugs were a part of the culture but not for her. She didn’t use drugs at Woodstock like so many other people did. “People shared whatever food and drink and drugs they had. Seeing how chaotic the situation had become made me wary of doing any drugs as I wanted to keep my wits about me and be aware of my surroundings. There were multiple warnings from the stage about not taking the ‘brown acid’ which freaked me out somewhat. Tents were set up for people who were experiencing bad trips and everyone was encouraged to take care of the person beside you who was your brother. Amazingly that is exactly what happened! We all began to sense the community we were creating and that we had to work together to survive and make this a positive experience 6
of the promised peace, love and music festival we had anticipated. And the music kept us all entertained.” Beth said many people were saying that the government had seeded the clouds to cause the rain to try to get the crowds to go home. But that did little to distract and change the mind of concert-goers. “It made us more determined than ever to prove we could survive and self-govern.” Local churches and farmers brought food and the security detail, called the Hog Farm, set up free feeding stations in the woods and even brought out granola in cups to give to the crowds who wouldn’t leave the stage area. Beth remembers when Wavy Gravy, one of the stage announcers, famously said, “What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for 400,000.” She said most people had never had granola before! The people still danced and the concert kept going. “Tony and I found a local bar after our swim/bath and drank a couple of drinks to warm us up and keep us out of the rain. At one point I was so hungry I decided to try eating a hot dog. While I stood in the long line for a red boiled wiener with only a bun, a man came up behind me who was stark naked and obviously sunburned.” Needless to say, she is no longer fond of red hotdogs. Saturday night band highlights were Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplane, Santana and Sha Na Na among others. Sunday morning brought the sun and everyone’s spirits were lifted. “People were announcing things from the stage like looking for someone to marry, finding lost children, and to please keep off of the sound systems. We were again encouraged to share and look after one another. Country Joe and the Fish came on and had everyone dancing and singing along. I especially remember the soulful sounds of Joe Cocker who is still a favorite of ours and the energy of Crosby, Stills and Nash.
Her — Fall 2019
“By late Sunday afternoon, my little entourage decided we had better try to get out and head towards Greenville as we had class the next day. Tony decided to stay and hitch hike home. I hated leaving him behind but I had no choice. He ended up having quite a ride and was one of the few who actually got to see Jimi Hendrix perform early Monday morning.” Beth said attending Woodstock changed her outlook on life. “With almost 500,000 people in attendance with little food and shelter, drugs, mud and rain, it was and is amazing to me that only two people died by accident, there was no violence to speak of, and people truly did get along for four days. It gave me hope that Americans can self-govern when given the chance. If it had gone on longer I’m sure it would have been different, but I can truly say it made me thankful to be young and living in our great country where freedom to choose was still available.” Folk guitarist and singer Richie Havens, one of the first performers at the festival, said that “Woodstock was not about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. It was about spirituality, about love, about sharing, about helping each other out, living in peace and harmony.” For many, Woodstock was a turning point in their lives. It was the comma in the middle of their sentence and most have looked back on Woodstock as a breath of fresh air and a true expression of peace, love and happiness during a time when the world was anything but. Elliott Landry produced a commemorative photo book of Woodstock in 1994 and he summed up Woodstock harmoniously in this quote, “The festival was like a conception. Now the cells are busy dividing and multiplying, separately and together, in nearby and faraway places. It was a cosmic sign, both symbolic and actual, telling us that our ideals could be made real, that a new time was approaching, telling us to keep on trying. And it is still. Many years later, telling us that.” For Beth and Tony, Woodstock was an incredible memory and journey that they still remember with fondness. After Woodstock, life went on as normal. “After Woodstock, I finished my degree in political science and urban planning. I went on to marry Tony, the love of my life, and lived in several states until finally resettling once again in Greenville in the early ’80s where we stayed and raised our children. I went back to ECU and got my master’s in counseling and spent most of my career as a middle school counselor in Craven County. I also became a Reagan conservative and have been active in politics and spiritual activities through the decades here in Greenville.” For Beth and Tony, who have been married for over 40 years, the music is not over. For two people who met at an outdoor concert, the music lived on from Woodstock and in the time they spent there together. “We still love music and go to concerts frequently as our mode of entertainment, but there will never be another Woodstock.”
701 W. 14th St. Greenville (252)752-2106 Kim Cobb
Kitchen & Bath Designer 252-714-0020
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Kitchen & Bath Specialist 252-814-7438
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Her — Fall 2019
425 Garner Road New Bern (252)633-4104 Debbie Carter (252) 670-2548 Shannon Traxler (252) 241-0418
IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WHY?
panel
LADENA TILLEY, 50 GREENVILLE
“I choose love because God is love. Just knowing that God loves me gives me an assurance that I can conquer any situation that I am faced with. Love always wins!”
JEANNIE CLEATON, 69, AYDEN
“I would choose happiness. I feel every day if you are happy, your day means so much. It makes who you are if you are happy or have happiness around you. My many friends bring so much happiness to me.”
MEG HOWDY, 37, WASHINGTON
“I would choose peace. When you are at a place of peace, that is when love and happiness can occur without the turmoil in the world or within your heart and soul.”
VICKIE JOYNER, 57, GREENVILLE
“I would choose love, because love covers all. If you have love, you can find peace and happiness, regardless!”
LAVETTE LANG FORD, 47, GREENVILLE
CINDY REEVES, 41, AYDEN
“Love – because peace and happiness come out of love.”
“I would have to choose peace. At this stage in my life, I value having a peace of mind and possessing a tranquil and peaceful lifestyle.”
DEDE SMALLS, 49, WINTERVILLE
MINNIE ANDERSON, 74, GREENVILLE
“Happiness. It is taking responsibility for my life. Knowing my values and purpose. Cultivating awareness and recognizing my choice in every moment and expressing my authentic self”
“I would choose peace! I always try to find peace in any situation and rather not deal with anyone or anything that is going to bring drama into my life.”
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nutrition
A delicious alternative to traditional pancakes, this recipe is a great way to use bananas whose peels have started to brown. The riper the banana, the easier to mash and the more flavor they will give the pancakes! Top with peanut butter or chopped nuts if desired.
Serves 2 - Serving Size: 3 pancakes Prep time: 5 minutes Cook time: 20 minutes Total time: 25 minutes
Directions: In a medium bowl, combine eggs, bananas, rolled oats, baking powder, vanilla extract and cinnamon. Batter should be cohesive and without lumps. Heat olive oil in medium skillet on medium-low heat. Once heated, spoon ¼ cup portions of the batter onto skillet and cook until golden brown on both sides (about 4 minutes on each side). Heat fruit in small skillet until warm, stirring occasionally. Serve over pancakes. You can also serve pancakes with chopped nuts or peanut butter on top.
Ingredients: 2 eggs, beaten 2 bananas, mashed ½ cup of rolled oats, uncooked ½ teaspoon baking powder ¼ teaspoon vanilla extract 1 ∕8 teaspoon cinnamon ½ teaspoon olive oil ½ cup fruit of your choice (optional)
Nutrition Information per serving: (Based on ½ cup frozen mixed fruit) Serving size: 3 pancakes Vegetables: 0 cups Fruits: 1¼ cups Calories: 302 Carbohydrates: 47 grams Fiber: 6 grams Protein: 11 grams Fat: 9 grams Sodium: 198 mg Recipe courtesy of medinsteadofmeds.com
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Her — Fall 2019
A few years ago, a friend of mine started a tradition of choosing a few words of inspiration on New Year’s Eve. The words were chosen to set an intention for the upcoming year and to offer motivation, such as compassion, courage or gratitude. They were a way of replacing the very lofty self-improvement goals that many of us set, like learn a new language or meditate every day. You know, the ones that never really stick. Well, I recently heard the word “empower” and I immediately thought about the ripples of inspiration from its meaning: enable, galvanize, inspire, authorize, encourage. It had “word of the year” written all over it! The word was presented to me as the 2019 World Breastfeeding Week theme, “Empower Parents, Enable Breastfeeding.” The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action coordinates this annual campaign to protect, promote and support breastfeeding. The theme emphasizes the importance of supporting both parents to create an environment for successful breastfeeding. This idea is refreshing! Both parents have a role in nurturing children, and although breastfeeding is in the mothers’ sphere, support from partners improves breastfeeding success. Breastfeeding in the early hours, days and weeks can be challenging for some women. Learning a new skill like
breastfeeding takes practice for mom and baby. Feeling empowered during this time is a valuable tool for families who need to seek help, guidance or reassurance. In a supportive environment, new parents are encouraged to learn and problem-solve, rather than question their competence in silence. Together, as a community, we can empower families who are navigating the waters of their breastfeeding journeys. One upcoming resource is the annual World Breastfeeding Celebration which will be held 10-11:30 a.m. on Tuesday, Aug. 20, at the Pitt County Health Department. This free event offers community resource exhibits, education about healthy eating, positive parenting and safe sleep practices. It is designed for families, expectant parents and anyone interested in learning more about breastfeeding. A craft area will be available for children. If you are wondering, I don’t choose words of inspiration on New Year’s Eve, but if I do, you can bet that empower is the word that I am picking! Jackie Sugg is a registered dietitian at the Pitt County Health Department.
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Famous Events Commander Neil A. Armstrong, command module pilot Michael Collins and lunar module pilot Edwin “Buzz” E. Aldrin landed in the Sea of Tranquility on the Moon on July 20, 1969. It was "one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." The Manson Family committed a series of murders under the influence of Charles Manson’s Helter Skelter philosophy. One of the victims was Sharon Tate and her unborn child. Hurricane Camille makes landfall in Mississippi killing over 300 people. Winds reach 200 mph. Richard Nixon becomes the 37th president of the United States of America on Jan. 20. Highest grossing movie of 1969: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. It made $102,310,653 worldwide. Starred Robert Redford, Paul Newman and Katherine Ross. Movie takes place in Wyoming in the early 1900s. Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid are the leaders of a band of outlaws. After a train robbery goes wrong they find themselves on the run with a posse after them.
Top Song Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In by The 5th Dimension
Top Toys Hasbro Lite Brite (Retailed for $5.66)
Top Books The Godfather by Mario Puzo is published in June 1969
Top Car
1969 Motor Trend Car of the Year: The Plymouth Road Runner
1969 Firsts
The Scooby-Doo cartoon aired its first episode on CBS.
Minimum wage - $1.60 Average annual income - $6,500 New house cost - $40,000 Postage stamp cost - 6 cents A loaf of bread cost - 23 cents A gallon of gas cost - 32 cents
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Baron W olman NinjaJournalist.com
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NinjaJourn alist.com m reddit.co
The Woodstock Music Festival was created by four men, John Roberts, Joel Rosenman, Artie Kornfeld and Michael Lang. They were 20-something men looking for investment opportunities. Lang was known for organizing the Miami Music Festival the year before, Kornfeld was the vice president at Capitol Records and Roberts and Rosenman were businesman from New York who were involved in building a Manhattan recording studio. The four formed Woodstock Ventures Inc. and decided to host a music festival. The three-day Woodstock Music Festival began on Aug. 15, 1969. It did not take part in Woodstock but instead on a 600 acre dairy farm in Bethel, New York owned by Max Yasgur.
NinjaJourn alist.com
The event was promoted as “Three Days of Peace and Music.” There was also a lot of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. It wasn’t all peace, love and happiness. There were changes made to the location only days before, bad weather caused lots of rain and then mud, and the concert ended up becoming a free concert after attempts to secure the location did not work. Traffic was so congested that the organizers had to hire helicopters to take the performers from their hotels to the stage. The police turned thousands of cars away. It is estimated that close to 500,000 people attended the event. Sources - History.com and Thoughtco.com list.com NinjaJourna
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scene around
PITT COUNTY JULY 14, 2019 PHOTOS BY SCOTT DAVIS 1 Jesse - Nolan - Avett Shepherd 2 Monica Harris - Patricia Harris - Joanne Atkinson 3 Tony and Beth Capillary 4 Rocky Russell and Kadie Moore 5 Ray and Mary Dennis 6 Lauren and Maddox McLean 7 The Monitors
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Her — Fall 2019
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Overlook Mountain may have had grandiose visions of overlooking history’s landmark music festival. Always an art and music colony, still an art and music colony, Woodstock, New York, has always dabbled in grandeur, nurturing Hudson River artists and Bob Dylan musicians and even Chevy Chase comedians over the years. But the festival tickets printed in 1969 cemented its hippie reputation. This music concert would be immersive and earthy and a cultural fest. And that quintessential hippie culture is looked over by Overlook. As mountains go, it’s an ordinary Catskill, albeit with the town of Woodstock nestled in its nethers. All of the Catskills are leftovers from 350 million years ago, when tall mountains called the Acadians towered to the west. The Acadians were massive and jagged, edgy and steep, crushed and pressed upward from the limestones of a shallow sea. As they wore down, from wind and rain and ice, the highest craggy peaks washed away in rivers and landslides to a pile of battered rubble at the bottom of another shallow sea. Slowly, steadily, the rubble was buried under more rubble, stressed and distressed, pressed and repressed, cooked and coalesced into new rock. Eventually, the rubble sea bottom had its own turn wedging upward, this time to become a dry plateau. Once hefted up and exposed to air, rivulets and rivers etched v-vallies into the flat and compressed bedrock. Millions of years later, glaciers carved u-valleys into the rest, whittling mountains into the plateau. In that sense, the Catskills are more like broken pavement than towering topography. Washington Irving, the author of Catskills fiction, might have described these mountains as Ripped and Van Winkled into the sleepy sweep of strata. But the ancient rubble of Overlook overlooked the site of a concert that wasn’t there. Mom and Dad were not at all inclined to look over the psychedelic, beady-dressed hippies that might converge on Woodstock-the-town instead of Woodstock-the-festival. 18
We lived eight miles away from the town of Woodstock, on the far side of Little Tonche Mountain, south of Overlook. Woodstock-the-festival was held 43 miles away in Bethel, N.Y., but Mom and Dad feared the influence of spaced out and grooved in hippies who might not fully grasp the navigational location of the concert, strung out as they might be in their quest for rock ’n roll’s best, on their impressionable offspring. Woodstock music was not their thing. They were partial to classical. They scoffed when I listened to contemporary artists and rolled their eyes when I called it music. The zenith of their melodic existence was early in their courtship when Mom sat down at a piano in Florida and spontaneously played Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Dad was smitten. Mom, who grew up in a Brooklyn neighborhood in New York City in a brownstone duplex with cousins downstairs and a warm concrete yard out back, was schooled in the genteel arts of music, chemistry and aquatics. Dad was a Renaissance man from the poor side of the Great Depression in Utica, New York, who had passed many youthful hours in the upholstery shop of an elderly neighbor, learning the tucks and tacks of canvas and carpet, and emerging with the skills of a mechanic and the musical tastes of a baroque prince. Together, they were east and west, trough and crest, right and left, and classical. Janis Joplin might as well have been a cuss word. Every Sunday on Little Tonche we had chicken for dinner and Tchaichovsky for dessert. Snobby music was the glue of our family relationship. So, as the days of Peace and Music loomed, we went to Canada. And completely overlooked the Woodstock Festival. Joy Moses-Hall teaches physics and astronomy at Pitt Community College. She has a PhD in oceanography and is the author of the novel Wretched Refuge. Follow @jmoseshall on Facebook.
Her — Fall 2019
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MINNIE ANDERSON, 74, GREENVILLE
“My favorite song was Jim Hendrix's "Hey Joe". It was the time when the counter culture movement reached its peak. Woodstock made real all the things the hippies believed in – peace, music and harmonious living. It was a time when hippies could get together and feel united.”
MARTY SMYTHE, 60, WASHINGTON
“Joy to the World" (Jeremiah was a bullfrog...) by Three Dog Night. It is whimsical, upbeat, nonsensical, joyful and contains a nice message of throwing away the cars and the bars and the wars and making sweet love to you. I gladly ride the wave of that desire to give up the conflicts and merge with the oneness of love. Can't get much more Woodstock-y than that! I can relate, man. I can relate.”
LINDA MOORE 47, GREENVILLE
“The song that I feel would define me would be "Video" by India.Arie. The lyrics speak volumes to me and represents me fully. Anyone who knows me and knows this song would say "yep, that's Linda alright."
LAVETTE LANG FORD, 47, GREENVILLE
"I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross. When I hear that particular song, I feel liberated and accepted for who I am.”
LIEN HOU, 47, GRIMESLAND
“The song that I love the most is "I Can See Clearly Now" because it's such a gleeful and positive song that makes my day!”
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I’ve spent over 20 years of my life in the financial industry. I’ve learned a few things along the way that I’ve shared with my daughters. Today I am going to share some of those foundational principles with you. I have counseled my daughters on the entirety of the time spectrum. So, if you are 20 years, 10 years or five years from retirement or already retired … read on. Ever since they were little I have told my daughters “Live toward the end.” I’d hear the retort, “Dad, what does this mean?” In part, it means to be conscious of time. Time is the only thing we’re not guaranteed, we can’t get back or exchange, and it’s the same number of hours in every day for all. They’re both young adults now. And this is the first thing they’ve learned. “So what’s your plan?” I ask. “Well Dad, here’s what I’m going to do: I am going to create a written budget (the plan for retirement starts with the pen and paper). I will write down every single expense item I have in my life. Once this is done, I am going to prioritize these expenses. My priority will be based on whether or not it’s a basic need or a want. I will have to think very carefully about this. I realize most people have difficulty distinguishing between needs and wants but I know that this is critical. “Once I have them divided, I am going to write down my net income on another sheet. I will subtract my expenses from 20
my net income which shows me the amount of my disposable income. I will have two values: net income less needs and net income minus the total because I’m going to scrutinize my “wants” in light of my retirement. I am going to calculate how much I need to save over the next 20 years using time value of money calculators online.” At this point I step in and say, “Wait a minute. Let’s go back to that budget thingy.” I tell her that she’s forgotten something very important and simple, yet a cardinal rule to prepare for retirement years. I ask her, “How much can you set aside today from your disposable income for your retirement fund?” I tell her that once she gets that figure, then she can calculate that “number.” This “number” has to be sufficient to provide lifelong income high enough to sustain living expenses coupled with her projected social security. As she gets closer to retirement, I will instruct her to set-up and review her social security account online at, www.ssa. gov. Then she says, “Also, I will avoid junk debt like the plague!” This is a proud, Papa! The order of calculation is very important in the planning process. It all starts with the written budget that is revisited every month. Even if you are near or in retirement … a properly written budget matters. So, in saving for retirement, develop an understanding of how to structure savings toward the end of your working life.
Her — Fall 2019
At or in retirement, the size of your 401(k), your house, your boat, or your cottage is not the matters most. What matters most is your income! Income is retirement! Ask yourself, “How much guaranteed, lifetime, income do I have? Will I run out of money? How much of my saved money do I really need to convert to an income stream? What’s going to be the tax effect?” I tell my daughter that at this point in her life she will need to see a financial adviser and her tax professional about this — if I’m not here, that is. The distribution period is complex and varies from person to person. In the early years the key words are budget and save; in the retirement years — it’s budget and income.
Physical Therapy General Wellness & Fitness Sports Performance Training 1301 E Arlington Blvd. Greenville (252)565-8812
Chris Tyndall is a partner with Tyndall Stroud Wealth Management in Winterville. He has over 20 years of experience in insurance, investments and financial services.
business spotlight Kevin and Jennifer Youngs, owners of Youngs Physical Therapy & Sports Performance were recently named the 2019 Small Business Leaders of the Year by The Greenville-Pitt County Chamber of Commerce. Kevin and Jennifer opened their first clinic in Greenville in October of 2012. The 1,650-square-foot space was an ideal starting point to establish a successful physical therapy practice, but Kevin knew it was not his ultimate vision. Specializing in sports-related injuries and an active population, Kevin’s vision was to have a physical therapy clinic with a sports performance component where athletes could rehab and then train in their sport. In April of 2017, Kevin’s vision became a reality with the opening of a new 9,330 square foot facility, and with a new building came a new name — Youngs Physical Therapy and Sports Performance. The modern office has an open treatment area for physical therapy as well as three private exam rooms. Other features include an open space for group exercise classes and personal training, a massage therapy room, a space dedicated to Pilates and yoga, and a sports performance area that includes turf, track lanes, weight training area and a batting cage. Youngs Physical Therapy & Sports Performance has three components to
their business: physical therapy, sports performance training and general fitness and wellness. The goal is to create wellness plans for clients, whether they are athletes or general population. Clients are encouraged to achieve their personal best and that’s accomplished most effectively through a team approach. Jennifer and Kevin now have over 25 staff members including physical therapists, physical therapy assistants, athletic trainers, personal trainers, strength and conditioning coaches, baseball and softball instructors, yoga and Pilates instructors and massage therapists. They all work TOGETHER to make themselves and their clients STRONGER! Kevin and Jennifer would like to personally thank their employees, patients and clients and community for helping to make Youngs Physical Therapy & Sports Performance a success. "It is a blessing to be able to help our patients and clients stay strong, achieve their goal and live an active life, states Jennifer Youngs. We truly are TOGETHER STRONGER!"
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By Karen Eckert "Keep calm and relax!" are more than just words you might see in an internet meme. They offer advice that can contribute to healing, health and a life filled with peace, love and happiness. Kara Emmy', a practitioner of Reiki; Betsy Lehman, a hypnotist and practitioner of energy medicine; and Jess McNally, a practitioner of yoga, understand the benefits of relaxation in alternative healing practices and the important role that it plays in the work that they do. Reiki is a Japanese technique for relaxation that also promotes healing, said Emmy' of Heartfelt Energy Work. In a Reiki session with a client, Emmy', who practices out of her home, said she focuses on the energy centers, called "chakras," that surround a person's body, bringing those 22
centers into balance. There are seven major chakras up and down the spine, and the energy comes in through the aura field, Emmy' said. For a session, clients lie on a comfortable table, like a massage table, face up and fully clothed, except for their shoes and watches. Emmy' said she helps clients go into a very deep, meditative state in which they are very relaxed. Practitioners use a technique called palm healing which transfers energy through the palms of the practitioner to the patient. Reiki treatments can involve light touch or no touch according to the International Association of Reiki Professionals website. "I don't touch a lot because I'm more easterly trained.
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I may touch someone's shoulders," Emmy' said. "I lived in Japan for a bit and that's where I first learned Reiki." Emmy' has also studied in Tibet and India, she said. Clients tell me that after a session when chakras are aligned and the aura field is cleared up, they feel as if they are "coming back from a beautiful vacation," Emmy' said. Some of her clients come to her experiencing the emotional pain of going through a divorce or dealing with post-traumatic stress. Some clients may be facing physical or medical challenges. Studies have been done with women who have breast cancer who receive Reiki treatments in addition to their medical treatments for the disease, Emmy' said. The research shows that the women who use Reiki emerge from their experience with less scarring, less infection and less pain and with a feeling of more hope and optimism. "Reiki is not a religion, has no dogma and is compatible with all spiritual beliefs," according to a statement on Emmy's website, www.heartfeltreiki. com. Relaxation also plays an important role in Eden Energy Medicine, a method of energy healing practiced by clinical practitioner Betsy Lehman. While Reiki focuses on the one energy system known as the chakras, energy medicine addresses nine separate energy systems, said Lehman, who started out as a Reiki practitioner, but who has also received advanced training in Eden Energy Medicine. "The body does not heal when it's all tensed up and out of sorts. So bringing that body some relief and relaxation allows the body to, many times, bring some of those systems that are unbalanced into balance. And so, just by removing fear (and) anxiety with a period of relaxation can be most helpful. But I can further that with the energy medicine to work on very specific things." Cancer patients are among Lehman's clients, and Lehman said that, although she does not diagnose, the medical aspect of energy medicine is one of her favorite things about it. As with Reiki, energy medicine clients lie on a massage table fully clothed, except for shoes, and are in a totally relaxed state, said Lehman, who also practices out of her home. She said she likes the fact that with energy medicine practitioners can teach their
clients not to be dependent on them. "We show our clients what we find to be out of balance and we show them how to work on that every day, just a few minutes at a time, maybe three or four times a day, to bring it into balance and then we can go a little bit deeper." Lehman is also a practicing hypnotist who is board certified with the National Guild of Hypnotists and has seen the benefits of relaxation through hypnosis. Lehman said that just recently she worked with a couple who told her their birthing process was everything they wanted and more — 16 hours, no drugs and they stayed calm and relaxed through the whole thing, she said. Relaxation also plays a role in yet another type of practice and that is yoga. Yoga classes can be relaxing and a very good way to relieve stress, calm the nervous system and make the body more flexible and limber. The physical practice of yoga can make people just a little more aware of their mind and body connection, said Jess McNally, owner of Purple Blossom Yoga Studio in downtown Greenville. McNally's studio offers classes for beginners and for the more experienced. A Restorative yoga class allows students to enter into meditation, followed by relaxing, restorative postures. Work done in this class can result in the relief of "anxiety, depression, headaches and more" according to the course description on the studio's website. While yoga has physical and emotional components to it, yoga can also be a spiritual journey that is "hard and rough and
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messy," McNally said. Many people who practice yoga also embrace Reike or Eden Energy Medicine or both, McNally said. Many of these practices might be considered outside the mainstream to varying degrees. “(But) things are changing," said Emmy'. "Just a few years ago chiropractic was considered alternative and now insurance companies are covering that. A lot of insurance companies are covering acupuncture. Nurses now are getting continuing education hours to learn Reiki because of the studies that are being done," she said. Emmy' said she believes firmly that the old ways of healing, such as Reiki and other hands-on methods, and the ways of modern medicine should be working together. Lehman said that one of her favorite stories is about how doctors used to think that the "aura" surrounding the human body had little or no scientific basis, but now they admit it exists. They can see it and they call it the "biofield," she said. For further information about Reiki, Eden Energy Medicine, hypnosis or yoga, visit heartfeltreiki.com, theinnergatenc.com or purpleblossomyogastudio.com.
Betsy Lehman, clinical practitioner of Eden Energy Medicine.
Client practice yoga at Purple Blossom. File photos/The Daily Reflector
Clients practice yoga at Purple Blossom. File photos/The Daily Reflector
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CLUES DOWN 1. Popular mid-size Kia 2. Image management (abbr.) 3. Prongs 4. Cools 5. It produces milk 6. Trends 7. Concurred 8. Chinese cabbage __ choy 9. Greek war god 10. Straits along the Red Sea 11. Railway 12. Washing with water 13. Supreme being 15. Ductless gland 18. Parts producer (abbr.) 21. Not arranged in a straight line 24. Red sweet peppers 26. Famed protest yacht 27. Drain 30. Distributes
51. Arad 53. Medea 55. Sora 56. Taros 58. Nat 59. Basal 60. ID 61. Whirligig 64. BA 65. Cornice 67. Reseals 69. Rhymes 70. Emerge
SOLUTIONS DOWN 1. Optima 2. PR 3. Tines 4. Ices 5. Cow 6. Styles 7. Agreed 8. Bok 9. Ares 10. Tiran 11. EL 12. Sluicing 13. Allah
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29. Han 30. Mrs 31. Dat 33. Min 34. Lwei 36. Patina 38. Eliot 40. Pregl 41. Ranted 43. Sawn 44. RBE 45. SAG 47. RMS 48. Tab
41. Spoke angrily 43. Separated with a tool 44. Relative biological effectiveness (abbr.) 45. Actors’ group 47. A type of ship (abbr.) 48. Bar bill 51. Romanian city 53. Greek sorceress 55. Small water bird 56. Tropical Asian plants 58. “Unforgettable” singer 59. Belonging to a bottom layer 60. Potato state 61. A toy that spins 64. “A-Team” character 65. Ornamental molding 67. Covers again 69. Poets write them 70. Appear
32. Small, savory dishes 35. Web of Things (abbr.) 37. Defunct aerospace company 38. Lacking consistency 39. Type of retriever 42. Barrier 43. Senior officer 46. Categories 47. Call it a career 49. Suitable for growing crops 50. High jumping legend Iolanda 52. Hairy 54. Dish made with lentils 55. TNT broadcaster Craig 57. Used to align parts 59. Cold, dry Swiss wind 62. Water in the solid state 63. A great play 66. Atomic #45 (abbr.) 68. Big shot lawyer (abbr.)
SOLUTIONS ACROSS 1. Optics 7. Abates 13. Apricot 14. Gorilla 16. LT 17. New Yorker 19. UD 20. Lines 22. Lee 23. Sapir 25. Amos 26. Femes 28. Nice
CLUES ACROSS 1. Study of sight 7. Becomes less intense 13. Juicy, soft fruit 14. A great ape 16. All-time NY Giants great 17. Big Apple native 19. Home of the Flyers (abbr.) 20. People stand in them 22. Automotive legend Iacocca 23. Influential linguist 25. __ and Andy, TV show 26. Wives (law) 28. Discriminating 29. Star Wars hero Solo 30. Married woman 31. A digital tape recording of sound 33. Chinese dialect 34. Angolan monetary unit 36. A type of sheen 38. “Ash Wednesday” poet 40. Nobel Prize-winning chemist
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15. Adrenal 18. OEM 21. Nonlinear 24. Pimentos 26. Fri 27. Sap 30. Metes 32. Tapas 35. WOT 37. TRW 38. Erratic 39. Labrador 42. Dam 43. SMA
46. Genres 47. Retire 49. Arable 50. Balas 52. Downy 54. Dal 55. Sager 57. Shim 59. Bise 62. Ice 63. Gem 66. RH 68. AG
It’s no secret that we have sexual needs and desires, but somehow it took a revolution in the 1960s to bring the conversation about women’s sexuality to the forefront. We are still exploring all that women’s sexual health encompasses, and I will address some of the most consistent concerns, and debunk some of the myths about sex. The 1960s established a shift in our culture with breakthroughs like the birth control pill, Playboy Magazine and the publication of Helen Gurley Brown’s Sex and the Single Girl. Vibrators started being endorsed by women’s magazines for sexual pleasure. Thanks to those people courageous enough to start the conversation that sex was healthy and normal, much has changed in 50 years including the accessibility of pornography of every genre via the internet, vibrators of all sorts delivered to your door in two days (Thanks Amazon!), and now a “little pink pill” (Addyi) to help women who have hypoactive sexual dysfunction (often compared to Viagra). While all of these advances are leading down a most enjoyable path to pleasure, it is common for women of all ages to experience sexual problems along the way. Often 26
women are uncomfortable discussing these issues with their partners or doctors, sometimes thinking that they are “broken” and accepting these problems as an end to their sexual enjoyment or ability. Compounding this issue is that most healthcare professionals do not ask their patients about their sexual activity or sexual health.
What is normal? Whether it’s about body image, or frequency of sex, I get this question a lot. Women are more and more concerned about what looks “normal,” with the misperception that they aren’t. This has caused a rise in vaginal rejuvenation in an often misguided attempt to achieve the “perfect” body part. Every body is different and that goes for our vaginas too. “The Great Wall of Vagina” (artist Jamie McCartney, 2008) illustrates this beautifully. Four hundred women allowed her to make castings of their vulvas and she made it into art. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made, and your vulva and vagina are normal! Research also shows that frequency of sexual encounter varies by age, health status and whether you are single, partnered or married. Every couple is different. The “right” frequency is one that satisfies both partners. Communication with your partner is the key to success with regard to frequency.
Sexual complaints in women A study from Laumann et al published in JAMA in
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1999 determined, of 1,749 women who were ages 18-59, that sexual dysfunction is more prevalent for women (43 percent) than men (31 percent). Of these women, 32 percent complained of lack of sex, 27 percent were unable to achieve orgasm, 28 percent found sex not pleasurable, and 21 percnet had pain during sex. Another study found Baby Boomers who self-reported good sex exercised at least two times a week, enjoyed onetwo social drinks a week, had good gum health, a healthy BMI and stayed hydrated. Factors that contributed to poor sexual activity included musculoskeletal problems, cancer, bowel and bladder problems, poor vision, cardiovascular disease, joint pain, gum disease, hearing loss, dementia, poor communication and financial worries. I recommend a good physical exam and treatment to address physical issues that may be contributing to decreased sexual health and satisfaction by a GYN or pelvic health physical therapist.
Self-exploration It can be difficult to have great sex with a partner if you are unfamiliar with your own body. I encourage all women to grab a hand mirror and spend some time examining your girl bits as diligently as we do with our faces. We need to understand what all the parts are, how they work, and notice any changes in skin condition, discharges, odors, etc. Many women have never looked at, or touched themselves due to shame, fear and cultural or religious pressures. How can we expect our partners to know how to push the right buttons, if we don’t know ourselves? There are some great books on this subject that I recommend to my patients. Two of my favorites are Come as You Are, by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., and the Women's Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure by Sheri Winston. I encourage you to read them and share them with your partner, the conversations and experiences to follow can be delightful.
Lube, toys and care Not all lubricants are the same. Many common brands that are used in doctor’s offices contain ingredients that are vulvar irritants. If you are experiencing burning, itching or stinging
during sex, your lubricant may be to blame. Check ingredients carefully. Coconut oil is often recommended, but this can sometimes disrupt the good bacteria that live in our vaginas. Stick with water-based or silicone-based lubricants for vaginal penetration, oil-based lubricants work best for anal sex. Waterbased is also best for use with condoms. Vaginal moisturizers are different than lubricants and contain ingredients to keep the vagina well-moisturized as should contain good hydrating ingredient like what we use on our faces. Many women after menopause, or after cancer treatments, complain of significant vaginal dryness and a combination of vaginal moisturizers and lubricants is a winning combination for comfort with sex! There are many varieties of vibrators, and I recommend that every woman have at least one. Seventy percent of women are unable to achieve orgasm by vaginal penetration alone! That’s right, most women need some other type of stimulation to achieve climax. Toys of all shapes and sizes can assist with not only orgasm, but there are types that also help with arousal. Women need increased time for sexual arousal (here’s where foreplay comes in) to help with tissue engorgement similar to what men experience. Lubricants and toys make everything more enjoyable with achieving both arousal and climax whether solo or with a partner! There is no need for vigorous cleaning of our girl parts. The vagina is like a self-cleaning oven, and needs no special soaps, lotions, douches or over-cleaning. Our vaginas have a microbiome much like our gut that keeps our pH balanced. Harsh soaps, douches and some lubricants can disrupt this pH balance and cause irritation at best, and infections like yeast and bacterial vaginosis at worst. The best care is gentle soap and water to the labia majora, and your backside, but go no deeper than that! No scrubbing needed. Your pelvic floor muscles are super important for bowel and bladder control, as well as sexual satisfaction. Dr. Arnold Kegel (rhymes with bagel) was an American gynecologist who identified weakness in pelvic floor muscles after childbirth can be detrimental, and the promoted exercises to strengthen them. These muscles can be too tight and inflexible which can cause pain, constipation, and urinary incontinence. Or they can be too lax, causing bowel and bladder incontinence, and pelvic organ prolapse. Getting these muscles working
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in a coordinated manner can not only eliminate bowel and bladder issues, but increase orgasmic appreciation! If you have issues with your pelvic floor muscles, get yourself evaluated by a pelvic physical therapist or gynecologist for a treatment plan.
Sex is an activity of daily living Sexual health is a state of mental, physical, and social well-being that requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships. It is integral to having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion and discrimination. It is every bit as important and eating, sleeping, and exercising for our bodies. So start exploring your bodies, and enjoy some fabulous sex! Allyson Daugherty, PT, CLT, CFm is a physical therapist with over 20 years of experience. She is the owner of Avila Physical Therapy for Women’s Heath in Greenville. She specializes both in pelvic and abdominal health issues of women and men including bladder/bowel incontinence, pelvic pain, prenatal and postpartum wellness and sexual health. She lives in Winterville with her husband and son. She is a member of the APTA, ISSWSH, and Women for Women of Pitt County. She fosters for the Humane Society of Eastern Carolina and enjoys spending time with her family, her two pugs, and practicing Pilates, Yoga, gardening and reading lots of books. 28
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September 6 and October 4 First Friday Artwalk in Uptown Greenville First Friday of the month from 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. Aug. 17, Oct. 19 and Dec. 7 Pitt Area Chess Open - One day three round chess tournament for all levels (US Chess Federation rated) 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. Sheppard Memorial Library, Greenville Oct. 31 - Nov. 3 Down East Holiday Show Greenville Convention Center Oct. 12 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer of Eastern North Carolina Town Common 8 a.m. - 1 p.m.
meet
M A RY E L I Z A B E T H C A P I L L A RY ( B E T H ) 71 | Greenville, NC
Tell Me About Your Family: I’m married to Tony Capillary (1971) and we have two children, a daughter, Angela Capillary Martin, who lives in Little Rock, Ark., who has two children, Ainsley (3) and Easton (7 months). We also have a son, John Capillary, who lives in Dunedin, Fla., and has two children, Christian (3) and Micah (1). My father was a Presbyterian minister and mother was a home economics/science teacher. What is your anthem? All You Need is Love by the Beatles
Tell us about your Job: I am currently retired but was a middle school counselor
Signature Scent: La vie est belle “Life is Beautiful” (Lancome)
Who is your style Icon? Candice Bergen (love her style and sass, but not her politics!) If you could have dinner with any famous person dead or alive, who would it be and why? Ronald Reagan, 40th president of the USA. He restored my beliefs in a conservative, simpler lifestyle and helped me to become a political activist as a young wife and mother. Your favorite food: seafood, all kinds! Favorite Book: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
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