PATTY’S NIGHTMARE

Denise believes in building up families and communities to strengthen mental health.

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Asking a person how they are feeling can be difficult. We’re fearful that if we see the warning signs we won’t know what do to. But so too can be responding honestly and saying, ‘Yes, I am thinking about taking my life.’ If we can get the message out there that everybody gets distressed, that it’s okay to be not okay, if we educate our communities on how to identify the warning signs, then I think we can make a significant difference. I’ve worked on a daily basis with people who were either suicidal, had made an attempt, or were thinking about suicide, so I have worked with quite a diverse range of people in distress. People often say the most important thing for them was someone listening, someone who gave them options to ease their pain, somebody PSYCHOLOGIST DENISE KINGI-’ULU’AVE HEADS UP LE VA, A PASIFIKA WELLBEING ORGANISATION presenting them with alternatives, taking the time to really listen, and giving them hope. I was born and bred in Rotorua. My dad Sio came to New Zealand from Kolofo’ou, Nuku’alofa, in Tonga, when he was in his late teens, for work. He was a painter and paperhanger for Keith Hay Homes. We were one of very few Pasifika families in Rotorua at the time and I recall feeling extremely anxious during the Dawn Raids period when many Pasifika families were being targeted by police. Fortunately, our family was not affected. Dad really wanted us to succeed in New Zealand, so we were never taught to speak Tongan. Looking back on it, it was disappointing but it was the same in many Maˉori families of that era too. To get ahead you learned the Paˉkehaˉ way! My mum was from Oamaru, o she sort of helped avigate us through he different cultural ttitudes of the day. My husband Tanira Maˉori and we have nsured our three hildren [now aged etween 25 and 35] ave a strong sense f identity. They all ttended koˉ hanga reo hen they were little. I went to Western eights High School. here were quite a few ll Blacks at the school the time. Buck Shelford a really good friend –e were neighbours. I left school at 16 d got work as a bank ller. Back then you uld pretty much walk to any job, although cording to my father ing ‘successful’ eant being a lawyer, ctor or accountant. I’ve always been interested in people and I’ve always been sporty. I was into marching when I was very young. I saw them practising at primary school one day, so I just went along and joined in! I played touch for New Zealand and soccer at rep level so although I only really got into psychology once the kids were at school, the psychology of sport –why one day the team could perform really well and the next game was not so good –sparked my interest. I gained a postgraduate diploma in clinical psychology from Massey University, then worked in prisons for my internship before we moved to Canberra, where Tanira was completing his PhD in agricultural economics and development. I worked in child and adolescent mental health services there for three years, then when we returned to New Zealand I became involved with adult and Maˉori community mental health services. Historically, a lot of funding has gone into the secondary services –the patient in-units, crisis management, those with severe mental illness. But by building up confidence in our families and communities, if we can identify problems CREA ‘It’s ok to be n to be n ot okay’

and provide the support early enough, then considerably fewer people will need to be referred on to secondary services. Of course there are fears and barriers experienced on both sides. At Le Va, we are working directly with the community and looking at more of an early intervention/ prevention perspective. It is really rewarding. In my previous role at Le Va, as senior manager, I had clinical oversight of all of our programmes and led the design and development of our two Ministry of Healthfunded national suicide prevention programmes –FLO Pasifika for Life and more recently the LifeKeepers suicide prevention training programme, which I’m doing my PHD on. I’m also the “Dee” behind Aunty Dee, an online tool that helps young people cope with stressful life experiences by providing them with a stepby-step structured approach to problem solving. Creating hope that life can get better is so important.” # As told to Julie Jacobson

How I live...

THEY’RE YOUR STORIES weekly PEOPLE

TING HOPE ay to be n ot okay’ What’s in your handbag right now? Far too much unnecessary crap! When and where are you happiest? Hanging out with my family or at home in Maketu. One thing the world needs more of? Less of a judgmental and blaming culture, and more compassion for one another. Quick-fire: