MOTHER’S CHEESY CLAM ROLLS
Ingredients: • Butter, warmed on the kitchen counter at least a week • Hot dog rolls, frozen and leftover, thawed • Canned clam pieces, drained (pour juice in the dog’s bowl) • American “cheese” slices, not individually wrapped • What’s left of the canned grated parmesan cheese (who put it in the cupboard?) Instructions: 1. Turn on the broiler. That’s the drawer under the main part of the oven. Remove the pan lids and prone box of King Vitamin cereal first. 2. Butter the hot dog rolls liberally and top with an even distribution of clam pieces. 3. Peel “cheese” slices from the cold stack; they will probably stick together and break apart, but that’s to be expected. Lay the ripped triangles over the clam mounds. 4. Shake some canned cheese over the rolls. 5. Place under the broiler until the kitchen begins to have an unpleasant aroma. 6. Forget the tin foil until it’s too late and allow the bubbled clam juice and cheese bits to escape through the broiler pan’s guttered rows to that dark Neverland beneath. ca. 1976, Buffalo, New York 23
