This is 40

By HATTIE FOOTE

As you read this, it is a hopefully warm spring-like March day. For me, it’s currently Valentine’s Day, and I am sitting in Starbucks sipping my silly iced coffee and writing, all while wearing a braid in my hair tied with a pink ribbon. It’s very cute and festive, but I can’t help hearing the quote “Am I too old to be here?” from the movie “This is 40.” Do I look like an idiot wearing my hair like this? But then I get that gorgeous realization that comes with age: that I don’t really care what anyone thinks of it. After so many years of people pleasing and being wildly insecure, I couldn’t think of a better gift to myself as I turn 40 on March 19th! Shout out to all my dreamy, delicate Pisces out there!

While I am not freaking out about this milestone birthday, I can’t say it isn’t a little jarring hearing that number. I still feel 25 on the inside; when did 40 happen? I also feel this way in parenthood often, like how am I the one in charge? I’m just a little girl with a pink ribbon in her hair! I will say that losing my dad three years ago really put life into perspective for me. I am so grateful for every birthday that I can have because life is so precious. The same goes for my family; while I had a giant lump in my throat as I watched my daughter hit double digits this year, it didn’t make me wish she was little again or want another baby. I just couldn’t believe my luck that I got to have all those memories with her and, hopefully, many more years to make more.

So how to celebrate the big 4-0? I have no idea; my husband and best friend are in charge because, as you may or may not know, an event celebrating me alone is my nightmare scenario. I am pretty confident that I had one of the first pandemic Zoom parties, as my birthday was the week the world shut down. Chris told me he had a “special surprise,” and I was like oh my gosh, is everyone outside? Then he gave me a bottle of champagne and opened the laptop, and there were a bunch of my friends just staring at me on Zoom. It was the most depressing party I have ever been to; I’ll tell you that! Last year, my friends surprised me with a day on the bay, complete with Taylor Swift blasting, champagne, and charcuterie, and everyone was wearing

matching hats that said Don’t Worry Be Hattie. The minute I realized what was happening, I burst into tears, feeling so loved and surprised while also wanting to jump off the side of the boat to escape. So, while I am smug in my “I don’t care what people think,” I should probably tackle my “attention on me” issues next. Hey, as the saying goes, if you aren’t growing, you are dying, so it’s never too late. Work on yourself!

I saw this prompt recently that said, “You meet your 18-year-old self; what do you say?” I have been thinking about that a lot as I approach 40, and here are a few things that come to mind: Leave your eyebrows alone! No is an answer. Don’t forget your sunscreen! Stay true to yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable. Stop comparing yourself. Perfect is boring, weird is so cool. Listen to your body. You are not marrying Leonardo DiCaprio (PS you married someone so much better). I just want to hug that 18-year-old girl and tell her to enjoy the ride because it will be turbulent, then smooth, and it will fly by.

I feel so appreciative of this space to share my many thoughts and stories with my community. It’s incredibly fulfilling, and it makes my heart swell when readers share their tales with me, too. I feel very loved and supported, and it’s such a gift; thank you for your readership. So, cheers to 40; just know I will be toasting to you all with my Aloe & Cucumber cocktail from The Tavern (my current drink fixation if anyone wants to send the birthday girl a drink)!