To Grandmother's House We Go

By Hattie Foote

My nine-year-old daughter looked around at us, apparently bored with our company and said, “Welp, I’m going to pack a bag and head to sleepover at GG’s house.” I couldn’t blame her, I too wanted to go where treats and snuggles were unlimited. My mom living five blocks away is one of my life’s greatest gifts and I don’t think my kids fully grasp how lucky they are. I explained to them that back in my day I would only get to see my grandparents about twice a year. They were horrified and impressed that I would fly by myself at a very young age to visit them on the East Coast. They are some of my most treasured memories and I appreciate them more now than ever.

This past year I lost both of my grandmothers and my grandfather. Top that with the searing pain of losing my dad in 2021, and I have been knee deep in grief. I know this occurrence is not unique to me, it’s the human experience, the circle of life. I feel so lucky to have had my grandparents in my life for 39 years, what a gift. And how special for my children to have known their great grandparents! We took the kids to Rochester, NY to visit my Grannie for her 100th birthday last year, and I got to show them all the things I did growing up. I didn’t want to say goodbye when it was time to go, knowing it was probably the last time I would hug her. She slipped her usual $20 in my hand, and I laughed and called it her drug dealer move. As our little American Eagle plane departed over upstate New York, I sipped my cheap iced chardonnay and listened to Marjorie by Taylor Swift. I don’t recommend that travel combo, a surefire way to have people mildly concerned over the sobbing lady in 5A.

After losing Grannie, I lost my Mati and Coke in New Mexico within months of each other. I think the hardest part was watching my mom lose her parents, I hated that. I found that everyone deals with grief differently and we all need to be patient with each other. Also, a sense of humor and wine is helpful. At this point I can see the beauty in the process, I find comfort in photos and stories. I wear my Mati’s aquamarine ring she gave me; I watch videos of my Coke wearing a wig and a leather vest while goofily singing to our family, and Chris reminds me often how I remind him of Grannie. Because that’s just it, they still live in us. It’s up to us to tell their stories and honor their memory. I do struggle with not being able to ask more questions that I should have asked. However, a few years back Chris went behind all our backs and worked with Grannie to tell her story. He asked her questions, and she would take her time and write back thoughtfully worded responses. When they were finished, he printed everything and had them made into books for us. It’s the most touching gift, and I highly encourage you to ask the questions if you are still able to.

In the process of understanding our family history, we did Ancestory.com which I am obsessed with. I always knew I was German but didn’t know I was a 50% super German! I mean it makes sense; the Heidi Klum resemblance is uncanny. I see my strong Croatian blood from Mati and my sister, cousins, and I blame any wild streaks on that DNA. My son Hunter got a rogue 2% Spanish inheritance that he is very proud of. Someone told me Ancestry kits are a great White Elephant gift and that is going to be my go-to this holiday season. Gosh, my intention of this column was to talk about honoring your grandparents, and all of the sudden I’m crying and hawking DNA kits. In conclusion, grandparents are the actual best, and we love you so much! Happy Grandparents Day (September 10th mark your calendars)!