Holiday Island

By HATTIE FOOTE

This is a safe space to confess my deepest, darkest secrets, right? I don’t love Hallmark/ Lifetime holiday movies. There, I said it. Which is funny because it’s my favorite way to describe life in Coronado. Just this Halloween, our friends invited us to a birthday party, and the words “Sorry, we can’t, Chris is a judge in the town pet Halloween costume contest” left my mouth. Or when we pulled up to the CSF Tiki Party at the Del puka shells around our necks, banana leaf print dresses flowing in the golf cart wind. We all looked at each other and said is this real life? I feel like I say that to myself weekly, in good ways, in bad ways, in nutso crazy ways. Like the time we had a girl’s dinner at Jolie, seven moms having a glass of wine, laughing, and enjoying a minute without kids crawling all over us. All of a sudden, this man lost his absolute mind and screamed at us that we were a “bunch of cackling hens that need to shut up.” We were

stunned, the entire restaurant dead silent, staring at the drama. Listen, I’m sure we were a little loud, it’s a small restaurant. We would have gladly left if we knew we were bothering anyone. Instead, we sat there in shock, vibes ruined immediately as we had to finish dinner with this man who hated us, shooting death stares. The poor staff at Jolie felt terrible, bringing us desserts and apologizing profusely. To this day, we talk about how insane it was, again, a drama fit for a cable TV movie.

While I don’t love the implausible, unhinged holiday movies, I do love the holidays! In fact, I bought two gingerbread mugs the last week of October, and my best friend read me the riot act, she was incensed that I would buy a Christmas mug before Halloween. It became a running joke, and someone said that this was the drama they enjoyed: festive friend feuds. It made me laugh, and I thought about what a brief of the official Coronado Lifetime movie would look like:

The charming seaside town of Coronado is busy decking the halls for the upcoming holiday parade, but all is not silent and bright. Two best friends become enemies after a nasty argument about holiday drinkware at the town Fall Harvest Festival. The handsome innkeeper and handsome candlemaker are forced to break it up, leading to a town divided. But when one receives a surprising letter informing them they are actually a princess of a small European country and the other gets a stalker, will they turn to each other in a time of need? Meanwhile, a mysterious wealthy newcomer causes a commotion by trying to convert the charming village into the next Mall of America. Will the local schoolchildren convince him to have a change of heart during their angelic holiday performance during the parade? Meanwhile, a woman was missing her snowy hometown in Vermont, so she built a sand snowman to cheer herself up, only for a shooting star to shoot over Coronado Beach, bringing the sand snowman to life. They have a beautiful love affair, but will the town accept her new relationship with a sand snowman? All will be revealed at the parade, but only if the light engineer gets back from a last-minute trip to see his mother —who tragically broke her pinky toe in a cookie-baking competition— to light the tree on time! Phew, I don’t know about you, but I definitely will be tuning in. Maybe this is the movie that will change my opinion on this genre of films! To be honest, after another hard year for our world, I hope this made you smile for a second. It is never lost on me how incredibly fortunate we are to live in this town. I hope you enjoy this season with your loved ones and that you find joy where you can. I found mine at the bottom of the gingerbread mugs that I bought aggressively early! Cheers, and see you all at the (very dramatic) holiday parade! ◆