Operation Homelife All We Want

All We All We Want for Want for Christmas Christmas

by Krysta Murray

My Christmas tree has never been up this early before but quite a lot of things are just different this year.

With another surge of COVID-19 cases dimming our holiday lights and diminishing our holiday cheer, it isn’t the only time military families have had to get creative for holidays apart.

The first Christmas my husband and I spent apart he was deployed to Iraq. He was one of the only married members of his assigned team and I remember buying Dollar Tree stockings for all four of them and gluing their names on the front with glitter. They got there just in time to be hung in their sleeping quarters along with anything I could think of to stuff them with to bring them all a little piece of home. New music they may have not heard, a set of cards to pass the time, favorite candy and snacks.

I had the ability to go home to my family for the holidays that year and it was a fairly typical holiday season for me otherwise. Being from New England, we would go to the farm and cut our tree down, tie it to the truck and bring it home to set it up. We’d hang stockings on the mantle and hold Christmas cookie exchanges, holiday parties and cook all the traditional meals.

Years later while we were stationed overseas, we had another holiday apart. My son and I took the long flight home

to be with our family while my husband spent it on the ship in a foreign port. Though celebrating in another country is kind of an interesting experience, most people still miss the nostalgia of home for the holidays.

I think we’ve had three or four Christmases apart up until now, but eventually the holidays and events blend together.

There are times though, like this year, where the travel doesn’t work. We have spent holidays with either just each other, hosted the holiday and invited friends or attended events and dinners where they invited us. This was especially common with Thanksgiving when most military families have a hard time trying to get home for a long weekend if they also planned to go home for Christmas break and New Years.

Now, though, even that is becoming a challenge to do and still abide by CDC guidelines. Not only are many of us staying where we are and not visiting our families, but even gatherings with our friends for festivities is a risk. Back to getting creative. How can we celebrate and not feel heartache for what we don’t have?

My husband has had to do this as have many of our military members and though it may not be an equal trade off, it can definitely be worth the effort to keep our spirits up this season. One thing for sure is we did put up the holiday decor early to celebrate longer. Some families I know have actually done Christmas Day earlier as they anticipate a separation over the actual day. They opened gifts, they had a traditional meal, maybe they partook in a family tradition such as Christmas movie marathons and wore matching pajamas. That brings me to one way to celebrate together but apart. Matching holiday pajamas! I mean, it definitely makes those Zoom chats a lot more fun and helps us feel connected. Maybe we all wear our ugly sweaters. So perhaps arrange to make it happen with those you can’t physically be with but can share moments with in other ways. Maybe you can each buy the same advent calendar and open them at the same time each day. Make the same treats and compare or make a special holiday drink to virtually do a cheers.

Also, care packages. This is a common practice for families of deployed service members to send little gifts or letters and reminders of home. We can do that with our loved ones anywhere. Send our grandparents or parents a traditional letter and printed photos or create a small album of photos you’ve taken this year. What I love about care packages is that I can tailor them specifically to the recipient or make them generic for anyone to enjoy. For example, most people love Doritos and I’d throw in a bunch for my husband to share with others. But I know specifically that my husband’s favorite is Cool Ranch, so I made sure to have that.

Holiday exchanges are always a fun option as well. Secret Santas can still be done through the mail. Especially with so many stores offering free delivery or local shops offering gift wrap options. I have seen many do this type of gift exchange with books, a new ornament, socks and grab bags.

Another option is to do something small on the holidays, but plan something bigger later. If you have a traditional Christmas dinner with family in May, no one is going to judge you. Technology has also made it possible to do some things together separately, like attending online church services live. Maybe your family normally attends church services but instead you’ll attend together from home. We can do the same with holiday movies or specials, New Year’s countdowns and buddy reading books. When my husband and I were apart we’d choose a book to read or a show to watch together so we could discuss it.

This year has just been strange, but it is for all of us. As much as the isolation is, well, isolating, we are all in it together at the same time which ironically makes us more united in that sense. My family is on the other side of the country and we are all very bummed to not be together, but it’s been fun to plan other ways to celebrate so give it a try and hang in there. Get creative, spread some holiday cheer as well as treat yourself this season.