Forget Resolutions: Four Ways to Revitalize Yourself in the New Year

Forget Resolutions:

4 Ways to Revitalize Yourself in the New Year

by Coronado SAFE

2020 has been a chaotic year, the usual New Year's resolution may not suffice, and it may be time to think outside the box. Most resolutions in a typical year deal with change - losing weight, eating better, finding time to read more books - which are all noble pursuits. These are the types of actions we take to change ourselves for the better. Think for a second about all the change we have experienced just out of necessity, such as working remotely, distance learning, and changing plans at a moment's notice. If you really look at it, because of the pandemic, many of us are more resilient. This year instead of trying to invent a new you, take a minute to ponder the changes that have been forced upon us and give yourself a pat on the back for simply surviving these changes. It is time to give ourselves and others a little grace.

Keeping up with the Jones’ is an age old phenomenon of constantly comparing yourself with your neighbor. This could sound like, “Who has a nicer house?” or “My child is struggling with remote learning, am I a bad parent?” We have all had similar thoughts, and it's counter productive. Take time to give yourself credit. The scope of the challenges we have faced are unprecedented in our lifetime. Assess the enormity of it and we just might realize we haven't done too bad after all.

As we enter the New Year it might be time to dig deep and recognize our own goodness, our strengths and our needs. We are often more critical of ourselves than others. Here are four ways to recognize and operate out of a place of inner-acceptance and innerstrength this new year:

Remember Our Basic Needs Come First

It is ok to set goals even if they are lofty. Achieving these goals may be difficult if you are not in touch with the three areas of your life that hold the keys to success: mind, body and soul. Throughout your day check in with yourself and ask what your body needs. Do I need to eat? Is this food nourishing me in the way it needs to? Am I getting enough sleep? Do I need to move my body? Do I need to take a mental break from my computer? Do I need to connect with a friend? Do I need to pray or practice mindfulness? Do I need alone time? Between the challenges of working from home or distance

learning, it’s important to give yourself permission to take care of your needs.

Set Boundaries

Sometimes to take care of our basic needs, we need to set boundaries with ourselves and with others. This might look like turning down an invitation from a friend, delegating tasks at home, or not checking emails outside of work hours. Working from home can make it all too easy to have weak boundaries when it’s time to work and when it’s time to be, “off the clock.” Ultimately, by saying “no” to something is saying, “yes” to something greater.

Use Affirmations

Notice the way you talk to yourself. Then ask yourself, “Would I talk to someone I loved like this?” Give yourself the same grace you might extend to someone else. One way to do that is to tell yourself affirmations that honor your goodness such as “I’m only human.” “I’m a good person who makes mistakes.” “I am capable of what lies ahead.” “I am lovable no matter what.” “This is hard and I can ask for help.” You can also practice this with your children by saying affirmations like, “I know this is hard and we’re going to get through this together” or “I believe in you.”

Reach Out to Others

Asking for help is easy if we realize that we all need it from time to time. Nobody can do it alone. Don't let pride keep you from asking for assistance. The simple act of asking for someone's help may allow that person to have the courage to ask for help themselves. The village will provide if you let it. We live in a dynamic community full of knowledge and helping hands. Let's all strive to break down those walls and get to know our neighbors. What can you do to enrich your neighbors’ lives while allowing them to share their gifts with you?

In summary, take stock of all the things you have accomplished during these tough times while giving a nod to how you may have done some things better. Take credit for the wins and assess the losses. Resolve to take care of yourself, a healthy you is the key to helping others. The resources you may need are a stone's throw away. Many youth and families in Coronado utilize Coronado SAFE’s services to help them help themselves. The best way to succeed is to get out in front of these issues before they reach a critical level. SAFE can provide much needed tools to avoid crisis before it takes hold. There is no shame in community, we are after all, the sum total of all our parts.

To learn more about Coronado SAFE’s counseling, programs or workshops go to CoronadoSAFE.org or call 619-522-6884. If not SAFE, then find a trusted source of support, SAFE also helps with referrals and resources are available.

Let’s face it, we live in a world where everything is at our fingertips. And with the technology of today that includes, literally, just about everything. There’s no doubt that millions of people have made 2021 New Year’s resolutions and with technology there is likely an app that can help you achieve them, or at least give you encouragement to keep going. Don’t get me wrong, all of the techie devices and automated gadgets are pretty awesome, convenient, and quite simply amazing, but it also leaves me to ponder sometimes, what happened to simple?

I grew up in a world where the telephone was mounted to the wall with a spiral cord a mile long and a private call with my friends would mean pulling that cord as far down the steps as I could stretch it. A world where we had to fill up ice cube trays and wait for them to freeze and we had to hold the vacuum cleaner handle to navigate it around the house. Growing up in a family of eight girls, we all took turns doing the dishes. I will never forget a salesperson asking dad if he was interested in buying a dishwasher; dad’s response was that he didn’t need to buy a dishwasher because he had eight at home. The look on her face was priceless. Those are memories to cherish. To this day, I prefer hand washing my dishes.

It’s easy to get caught up in the most up-to-date digital, musttry newest trends out there, as we scramble to keep up with the latest and greatest. How many different types of blenders do we need to make juice and smoothies? Do we need a television in every room in various sizes? Even the simple task of selecting a toothpaste has become overwhelming, enough to leave you standing in the aisle scratching your head and asking yourself, do I want my teeth whitened and strengthened or ultra white with tartar control? I would like to think we all have similar goals when it comes to our teethcleaning regimen, so are 100 different types of toothpaste necessary?

Remember when your parents said to “take time to stop and smell the roses?” I like to call it living simply and simply living. I think the year 2020 reminded us how important those two meanings truly are. Living simply is about decluttering visually and mentally, clearing space to think, being creative and more productive with less time and energy. This leaves more time to spend simply living. Simply living is appreciating the blessings; the family and friends, the things you love to do, helping others and building community.

The two go hand-in-hand. It’s amazing how productive and more energetic you can be from decluttering a space. It took me years to figure this out, but once I started with simply boxing up the many ‘extras,’ including shoes, purses, clothes and yes, the blenders, I felt lighter and my space was brighter! Plus, donating gave me a sense of community because I knew it was helping others. (Reality check, I’m not going to fit back into the jeans I wore in high school so in the box they go.) The emotional attachment has long gone and now it’s actually pretty easy for me to get rid of things that bog me down, a task I set aside for myself two times a year.

I also realized that I am more creative with my writing and I discovered a love for flower arranging, a creative side I didn’t even realize I had. Yes, one reason for this, I got rid of the old and welcomed in the new. (Note: welcomed new experiences, not new things.)

Not having all the stuff has given me space to bring in plants and flowers. Cleaning takes minimal time so I have time to get out and simply live! I go for more walks and enjoy and see the outdoors and the beauty of nature. My awareness of my surroundings is heightened. I spend more time with my family and I’m generally happier. Equally, when I limit my screen time things don’t clutter my mind and I sleep better.

So as 2021 kicks off to a new start, why not take a look around, inside and outside of yourself and your surroundings. The cliché of New Year’s resolutions abound, putting stress on those who have great intentions to finally drop the 20 pounds, put away more in savings, finally reading Tolstoy’s “War and Peace,” etc. While these are not bad things to strive for, why not make living simply and simply living a priority? Reevaluate and write down small goals instead, checking off each small task as it’s completed. Work on removing the clutter, cutting down your time on tech devices and fully appreciate being in the now. You might just see a whole new world that has always been there waiting for you.