Operation Homelife

Ways to Keep Kids Connected Through Deployment

by Jennifer Derg

“When Daddy gets back, does he still live in our house?” The day my daughter asked me this, at age 6, I was stunned. She had been through five deployments at this time, so why was she confused now?

I quickly learned that no deployment is the same, and your kids are not the same in each one. Through six deployments, two children, eleven years, and countless mistakes, I have found some ways to keep a strong family connection through the separations. Of all the tips I’ve ever gotten, here are ten that worked amazingly for us.

Deployment Wall A deployment wall displays items like a map showing where your loved one is, clocks showing their time, and some fun countdown items. I believe this helps them feel informed and more in control of that information, in a time they don’t feel very in control of much.

Ice Cream Party Countdown Ice cream makes all things better. First, we laminate a big construction paper ice cream cone and tack it on the deployment wall. Then, we have an ice cream party the day before shipping out. Every month we have an ice cream party and we add a colorful scoop to the laminate cone on our wall. It’s a delicious and fun celebration every month as we get closer to our homecoming, as well as an easy visual for little ones to count.

High Five Hand A deployment counselor did a high five hand for us, and my kids absolutely loved it. Your deploying loved one traces their hand and writes a message in it, then we cut it out, laminate and hang it up where the kids could high-five it on their way out the door each day. The kids absolutely loved high-fiving Daddy everyday and would sometimes run back into the house if they forgot!

LEGO Sets Have you ever put a seven-year-old on the phone with someone and watched them try to have a conversation? They suddenly have nothing to say, they can’t think of anything they’ve been doing and lose all ability to speak in multi-word sentences. One of the very best tips I was given was to have them do an activity together instead, and it was life-changing for us! By buying two of the same LEGO sets and sending one to my husband abroad, they could sit on FaceTime for hours helping each other build their sets. It feels more like spending time together, instead of just talking when you can share an activity. Another idea could be reading the same books to discuss together.

Two Game Boards To keep avoiding kids sitting mute on a call, sending some travel-size board games with your loved one is an awesome way to make the time apart more quality. Games like Checkers, Yahtzee, and Battleship are excellent games you can play while apart on FaceTime. Of course, you can do games online together, but there is something tangibly satisfying about a board game. For my youngest, a travel Candyland game made his day every time his dad busted it out.

Love Box This little item became my kids’ favorite way to connect with their dad. My kids don’t have their own phones yet, so their dad could text messages to this box from his phone. When a message is received at the box, the heart spins around alerting them of a message. My kids ran through the house every morning screaming to see if the heart was spinning, to get their message from Dad. (https://www.uncommongoods.com/blog/2018/modern-love-thelovebox-spinning-heart-messenger/ )

Involve Kids in Care Packages One way my kids felt more involved was to help shop for and pack up care packages to send their dad. They would draw pictures, pick out special treats, write letters, and include special items which would give them excitement when he received the packages. It helped them feel like the deployment was something we were all in together, and that they were doing their part. Also, the USPS makes care packages easier than ever right now, by delivering up to five military care kits at a time to your home. Simply order them on their website and a full set of boxes, tape, and forms arrive at your door! (https://store.usps.com/store/product/shippingsupplies/military-care-kit-P_MILITARYKIT )

Baby Onesies A lot of these tips are for older children, but when you have a baby at home, it can be hard for your spouse to really see their rapid growth. A very simple and sweet way to do this is to include your baby’s latest size onesie in a care package to them, so they can really see the size and change as the time passes.

Notebook of Events It can often be long periods of time in between real phone calls with your loved one. When they do call, it’s hard to recall all the things you wanted to say at a moment’s notice. Keeping a notebook handy to quickly write down what happened at the end of the day, or a funny story you don’t want to forget is a great way to keep those conversations more engaged. If you do this as a family, it’s an easy way to keep a bunch of news for your loved one handy when the phone rings.

There are so many other ways to connect, and families have been so creative in times apart, these are just a few that I hope help a family facing separation soon!