Not Caring What Others Think of Me

Not Caring What Others Think of Me

Dave Richards, SourcePoint Creative Writing Group

My recipe for not caring what other people think of me is not really a recipe, like baking a cake, it’s more like making soup. It’s a state of mind. It also is different for each one of us. Things we do or don’t do can affect what others think of our actions or words and we can vary with the time and place of these actions. Think of standing up and giving a hearty football cheer during church services. While you may not care, any friends or family sitting with you might be embarrassed as they try to sneak away hoping no one sees them with you.

So, if you really want to use the concept of a recipe the first ingredient has to be personal self-control.

Now picture yourself in a community meeting. The point of the meeting turns out to be something other than what you thought and now you are not sure you want to be there. As the meeting continues, you find they are trying to get a group together for a community improvement project. That’s when you realize this is something you wish would happen and work towards, but knew you couldn’t do alone. A dream realized.

So, the second ingredient is dreaming for things to do in the future.

You come across a beggar on the walkway of a busy street; you pause and look at the beggar. A passerby tells you there are a lot of beggars on this street and he’s here every day looking for easy money. When you take a closer look at him you find he’s dirty, smelly, with bad yellow teeth. His looks tell you he’s been living on the street. Do you ignore him to fit in with the others or do you ignore what they may think of you and help, even if it’s just a little?

So, the third ingredient is caring about others.

You are in a meeting, it really doesn’t matter what kind, and you are volunteered to lead a project. You really don’t want the job responsibility. You know many of the others assigned to your team and feel less qualified than they are. Do you do it or back out?

So, the fourth ingredient is taking on a challenge and doing the best you can.

You are in a crowded store waiting in the checkout line. Behind you is a young couple struggling to keep their four kids in control. Dad is holding one in diapers and trying to keep a two year old near. Mom is holding one kid’s hand and trying to keep the other from getting into the cart of someone in the next line. Do you join the chorus of “control your kids” or do you say something lightly humorous to them and tell them to go next, in front of you?

So, the final ingredient must be having a sense of humor in less than pleasant situations.

This is my recipe for not caring what others think of me. On giving this more thought about where my state of mind developed this attitude, I remembered this sounds a lot like Dr. Kavanagh’s quote, “To succeed in life you need three things: a wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.” To which I add the caring bone and control bone into the soup.

Respectively offered for a successful life, Chef Dave.

Dave Richards is a creative writing participant at SourcePoint’s enrichment center.