THE C&K MAGAZINE
SPRING 2 019 “LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART, SOUL, STRENGTH, MIND. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.“
Luke 10:27
Includes COUR AGE TO FORGIVE FREEDOM FROM FOOD YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE WHY I WORSHIP ALL THINGS NEW FINDING GOOD COMPANY IN FRIENDSHIP
ADVERT LIVES HERE
A Look Inside the first Issue P. 4
CONTRIBUTING TEAM & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
P. 7
LET TER FROM THE EDITOR
LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL OF YOUR
P.
12-13
P. 1 4 - 1 7
P. 1 9
MY PARENTS ARE COOL
Heart
FE ATUR E S TORY
ALL THINGS NEW LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL OF YOUR
Soul
P. 2 1 - 2 2
FREEDOM FROM FOOD
P. 2 3 - 2 5
YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE
P. 2 6 - 2 7
WHY I WORSHIP
P. 2 9 - 3 1
GUY'S CORNER
P. 3 2 - 3 3
FINDING GOOD COMPANY
P. 3 4 - 3 5
EVEN IF
LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL OF YOUR
Strength
LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL OF YOUR
Mind
W W W. C O U R AG EO U S A N D K I N D .O RG
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Issue
One
The Team Founding Editor Jessica deLinde Dyckman Creative & Art Director Rachel Coney Copy Editor Chelsea Prince Marketing Director Libby Lopez C&K Contributor Team Ginger Battles Angel Bentley Marlena Copado Nicole Crabtree Alissa Giangregorio Ilissa Goines Julie Harr Jessica Magley Jessica Wuerffel Janelle McCammack Sydney Murrell Cris Rapier C&K Advisory Board Amber Bell Julie Brierly Monica Groark Lindsay Goldsmith Becca Hoyt LJ Pocsi Amanda Skawski Amy Walsh C&K Guest Contributors Austin Prince Janice Carhart I N S TA G R A M FACEB O O K 3 ISSUE#1
@TheCourageousandKindProject @TheCourageousandKindProject
IMAGE CONTENTS
A Letter from the Editor Hey, y’all! Welcome to our first edition of COURAGEOUS & KIND digital magazine! We are thrilled at the opportunity to share our stories with you! This project is a collective effort from a team of women in my life (my friends, family, neighbors, role models, and mentors) who have agreed to share their hearts and everyday lives with you in an attempt to create an authentic and transparent space for community. I believe women are ready to hear about the “real” parts of real life. We’re tired of scrolling through the highlight reel of social media and ready to read about the things that truly matter. Us. Our lives. Your family. Your friends. Your hopes, dreams, desires, and disappointments. Your challenges. Your successes and struggles. It’s time to get real about what’s really going on in life. Last year I was in the middle of a big season of change. I had just gotten married, followed my man to a new city for a new job, bought our first home, and said goodbye to a decade of friends and memories, volunteer service, career achievements, and the beautiful beaches. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t sure what was next. One of my longtime best friends asked me this: “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t had the time?” I casually replied that I’d like to create a magazine that wasn’t photoshopped or fixed to only show the pretty things in life. I wanted to read stories and see pictures that were real. I wanted a space that was authentic in telling stories and sharing godly advice to women. It is
so easy to get beaten up and worn out by today’s media and news. Take this pill, drink this juice, see this surgeon, be all to everyone, have it all, do it all, fake it until you make it. This advice left me empty. I wanted a place where real women told real stories and gave real advice. No slant, nothing fake, not completely perfect or polished, but authentic and transparent. I wanted something that was Bible-based and would be encouraging. Something everyone, no matter the faith base, could get behind, and the words “Courageous & Kind” came to mind. Two things every woman wants to be. Courageous in overcoming our fears and failures and kind to one another and ourselves. So here we are! With the foundation of “Love the Lord with all of your heart, soul, strength, mind; and love your neighbor,” from Luke 10: 27, you’ll see that our stories fit in one of these founding tenants. As you read this be encouraged and consider helping us tell your story! Because you matter. You have a God-given purpose that only you can live out. Cheers to building a community of courageous and kind women. Xoxo
Jes
Jessica deLinde Dyckman
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Forgiveness Takes
Courage
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.� Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV) 8 ISSUE#1
Have you ever known someone who really knows how to poke the tender parts of your heart? You know which parts I am talking about. I have, and whether or not that was their intention, their ability to get under my skin seemed effortless. I can remember, growing up, there always seemed to be one group of girls who would make me question my self worth. These girls were the ones that everyone knew, most adults couldn’t see through, and were mean when no one was looking. Some of these girls I would have even identified as my “friends”. As an adult, I have intentionally chosen friends who encourage me, pray for me, and are genuine and great women. When I lost my dad a year ago, those friends stepped in and stepped up. They prayed for me and with me, they brought me everything from scripture cards to toilet paper. Their love and kindness showed me the love of Jesus. At the same time, those mean girls stepped out too. Not the same ones from my childhood, but new women who were close to my circle. Here’s the thing about our enemy, Satan, who knows no boundaries. He takes pleasure in keeping us in a place where hate and discontentment can creep into our hearts. Sometimes, he even uses someone in your circle to do his dirty work. During that time of great loss, my already broken heart was being targeted by Satan. He used someone with access to my hurt to embed hate and anger into the cracks, and sadly I let it in. I allowed myself to justify the hate that I felt. I spent nearly an entire year making excuses for why I should be allowed to feel that way. I was proud and unforgiving. Then, Jesus. Sweet Jesus stepped in. Y’all, it is a moment I will never forget as long as I live. I was in the shower singing along with Lauren Daigle when Jesus’ precious truth hit me as if he was standing in the room with me. I was convicted of this:
“Her broken heart will not heal yours.” I broke. I immediately saw my sin and tears stained my cheeks. Right then and there I had to allow Jesus to heal the cracks that I had filled with anger, resentment, and hate. I realized I spent precious time hating someone who was also in pain. I repented and in that moment I knew forgiving her was my only option. “Forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you.” I wish I could say, “THE END,” but the truth is that forgiveness is a process. First we have to decide to forgive, and that is when the real work begins. It is a daily decision to release ourselves from the bondage of hate and bitterness. It doesn’t excuse the actions of the other person, but it allows us to step back and see someone as Jesus does.
Jesus has forgiven the unforgivable in us and has asked that we offer the same mercy and grace to each other. Sometimes, it feels awkward and even wrong to offer forgiveness. The world wants us to think that some people do not deserve it. News flash, none of us do. It is unmerited, unearned, undeserved favor. And IT. IS. HARD. to offer forgiveness to someone who has offended you. It is difficult, but it is not impossible. While forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget or always make amends, it simply means you’ve decided to love the way Jesus does. He is the healer, friends.
Only Jesus.
Ilissa
Ilissa Goines
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Prayer Requests Let us pray for you and your family! Submit your prayer requests at Courageous and Kind webiste under Pray with Us. We have a C&K prayer team willing and excited to pray for you and with you.
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Verse of the Day "But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him." Jeremiah 17:7 Coming soon COURAGEOUS & KIND Verse of the Day! Sign up at www.courageousandkind.org
My Parents are Cool B Y Julie Harr
“ L E T LOV E A N D FA I T H F U L N E S S N E V E R L E AV E YO U ; B I N D T H E M A R O U N D Y O U R N E C K , W R I T E T H E M O N T H E TA B L E T O F Y O U R H E A R T.” P R O V E R B S 3 : 3 ( N I V )
While driving back home recently with two of my teenage daughters, ages 19 and 15, I heard from the back seat, "I tell people that my parents are cool." They proceeded to discuss among themselves the fact that their parents are cool. They both knew I was sitting in the front seat driving, so obviously they knew I heard them too. My first thoughts were, "Am I hearing them correctly? Is this what they tell their friends? What exactly does it mean to be a cool parent? What did I do to become a cool parent?" The word “cool” can have several meanings. I'm fairly certain my daughters were not implying I was cool to the touch, or that my mere presence caused the temperature in the room to drop a few degrees. While I like to think myself trendy or stylish, I know it doesn't quite describe me or my husband of 20 years. And I hope I have conveyed to my children that we are not unenthusiastic or uninterested in the workings of their lives. Instead, I like to think of us as calm and composed. Steady. When my daughters were small, people would constantly say to us how difficult it would be to have three teenage girls in one house. They would feel sorry for my husband who would have to deal with four women in his house at one time. What they didn’t know is that my husband is a very calm and patient man who in turn has helped all the women in his house be peaceful and calm. My husband and I decided as young parents, with the help of God, to try and maintain our composure no matter what our daughters did as they were growing up. We did not want our girls to ever be afraid to tell us the truth about anything due to fear of our reaction. They would break things or spill things and we would try not to get upset or yell, although there were certainly times we did not maintain our "cool.” There were plenty of days where I would say to myself, constantly, "Lord give me strength." As they got older they would confide in us.
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Our girls trusted that we loved them and our relationship was unshakeable. In the same way, we can sit across the table with Christ and share all the gritty details of our mistakes, trusting that He loves us even in our sin. And, through repentance, we have complete confidence in a restored relationship. Our God is a steady, forgiving, and loving Father. In the model of the Gospel, we disciplined our children. All three girls would agree that they each had their fair share of "time outs", discipline, instruction, and guidance. But they knew it was for their own good and it came from parents who loved them unconditionally. The discussion in the back seat continued on as my daughters said how they never felt the need to lie or sneak out of the house because Mom and Dad always remained "chill." They said Mom and Dad respected them and supported them individually in each of their own dreams. I was shocked to hear my daughters talk like this about us, and so was my husband when I relayed it to him later. He then gave me a fist bump and said, "Good job, Mom." To which I responded, “Good job, Dad." We never thought we would get to this point in our lives where our children thought we were "cool.” That was never my goal. In the beginning the goal was to survive, which was sometimes a lot harder than I thought. My goal now is to raise our three daughters to be smart, strong, loving, and independent women. I want them to love and believe in themselves and to be kind to everyone they meet. I want them to say their prayers and trust in God in all the decisions they make, because that is the only way my husband and I made it this far in our parenting journey. Without God's guidance we would not be cool parents.
e i l u J
“ S TA RT CHIL D REN O FF O N T HE WAY T HE Y SHOULD GO, AND EVEN WHEN THEY ARE OLD T H E Y WIL L N OT T U R N FROM I T.” PROV ER B S 22:6 (NIV)
“LE T LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS NE VER LE AVE YOU; BIND THEM AROUND YOUR NECK, WRITE T H E M O N T H E TA B L E T O F YO U R H E A RT.” PROVERBS 3:3 (NIV)
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Feature Story:
Marlena Copado
In a society fighting for polished and perfected, Marlena Copado wants to be known for her ratched love for Jesus. The worship director is passionate about breaking the muddy mold of expectation and inviting people into an authentic worship experience with God the Father. As a military kid and first-generation Italian-American, Marlena loves big and lives loud. She got kicked out of children’s choir for her voice being “too big”, won San Diego Battle of the Bands in junior high, lost her dad and biggest fan as a teen, and walked away from a drug addiction to accept Jesus because she believed He was better than her own self-coping. Marlena testifies of the sincere love of Jesus Christ through her life and music. Her desire for others to experience God through elevated worship permeates the stage as she shares the redemptive Gospel message of hope, healing, and forgiveness. Her album “Reckless Love” dropped in 2015 featuring the title song “Reckless Love” along with other fan favorites “How You Love” and “Higher,” which tell the story of God’s unabandoned and unending love.
You grew up as a military kid. Yes, my father was in the U.S. Marine Corps. We lived in Tunisia in North Africa for a while when I was a little kid and then moved to San Diego, California, where he retired. My sister and I call North County San Diego home. When did you get into music? From a young age, I always had an interest in music. My mom recently gave me a photo of my dad and I. He was playing his guitar and I had my little toy guitar. I loved to watch my dad play. And, I wanted to play so bad that I ended up teaching myself how to play guitar by watching him. I also picked up and remembered melodies real easily. My mom sang, too, so there was also a lot of music in the house. It was ultimately my Nona [Nona is Italian for grandmother] who was the inspiration and biggest cheerleader for my music. My dad traveled a lot, so my Nona got me into guitar and voice lessons. From a young age, it was obvious I loved music and wanted to play. Wait, you won San Diego Battle of the Bands competition while in Junior High? And, you lettered in surfing? What a high school experience! In middle school, I started playing, hanging out with other friends who played music,and ended up forming a band. By seventh and eighth grade, we started playing at bars. I always loved playing the guitar and drums; I never wanted to sing and be the front person. One of the things most people don’t know about me is that I was the most shy and withdrawn kid growing up. It was music that brought out my personality.
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One of the things most people don’t know about me is that I was the most shy and withdrawn kid growing up. It was music that brought out my personality. With our band, we had to get escorted on and off the stage by our parents and bouncers. My dad was always there video taping. We went “on tour” and played some local places. We also played in Battle of the Bands San Diego that year and won! Yeah, we had surfing as a PE class in high school. It was a sport! During off-season, we had to hit the weight room and run. I competed in competitions and surfing was what got me my varsity letter.
At one point, my mom was in the hospital and was so sick, she ended up coming home from the hospital to live out her life in hospice- type care. In the midst of that, my Dad, who was my hero and rock, randomly died in his sleep one night. That rocked my world. While my mom was sick and we had expected her to die, it was my dad that died unexpectedly. Wow, I’m so sorry. Talk about your world being turned upside down. How did you cope?
It almost sounds like high school was a dream.
I found comfort in alcohol and drugs. I overdosed twice. After my dad died, I basically raised myself. I had people—my aunt and uncle, grandmother— but I chose to raise myself. I didn’t trust anyone, I detached myself from everyone because I didn’t want to get hurt.
Yeah, but it wasn’t. It was in high school that my mom was diagnosed with a bad sickness and underwent radiation. My mom was sick and she battled with sickness throughout my life.
It got to a point where things were really bad. I remember saying, “Lord, if you are real. You are going to have to do something; otherwise, I am going to destroy myself.”
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The next day at surf PE, a teammate and friend who attended Daybreak Church, invited me to a winter youth camp at Forest Home. My friend didn’t go because she was sick, so I was stuck there all by myself with all these Christians. And, the Lord met me there. I the physical presence of the Lord on me. I felt love. I felt His presence. I felt Him speak to me. I felt everything rush into me at once and fell to my knees that Saturday night during worship while singing the song, “Here I am to Worship”. The lyrics of “Here I am to bow down./ Here I am to say that you’re my God.” I felt something so real and knew that nothing could be fake about what I was feeling. [That feeling Marlena was experiencing was the Holy Spirit in the Presence of the Lord.] I felt an intense feeling of love. I started asking God, “All I know is that I need you God. How do I get you? How do I keep you?” My youth leader, a last-minute add, helped me pray. I asked God to be the master of my life and that I would follow Him. That’s awesome to see how God interrupted your life. Shortly after I had gotten home from camp, I had a fight with my mom and wanted to cope with what I was feeling with her. I had drugs and alcohol in the house. I remember going to it, looking at it, and started crying. I gathered everything up, threw it in a box, got in my truck, and drove to an underdeveloped land, and started throwing everything out the truck window, saying that I can’t go back. I knew that I couldn’t go back to the drugs and alcohol.
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I went cold turkey in two weeks. I decided that Jesus was better than the drugs. I just knew in my heart that Jesus was better and that I wasn’t going to back to the drugs and alcohol. Cold turkey! What happened after that? At this time I was in tenth grade and failing most of my classes. One of the hardest things is that I lost all of my friends. All of my party friends no longer wanted to hang out because I wasn’t doing drugs. My bandmates were upset because I wanted to start playing church songs, so the band broke up. By my senior year of high school, I realized that I wanted to go to a four-year school. I retook some of my sophomore classes so that I could graduate with good grates and get into a university. Eventually, I ended up at Cal State San Marcos for college and graduating from there. It sounds like God has placed the right people in your life at the right time. Yes. Each step of my journey God placed a mentor or friend in my life. During high school, I had my surf coach, Coach Cooper, who mentored me. Throughout college, I had a mentor with Intervarsity, Natalia Kohn, to hold me accountable in my leadership position. During a mission trip with Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), my teammates were great friends and shared the love of Jesus with me. Daybreak Church became a family away from family. The founding pastors, Dan and Debbie Grider, were at my high school graduation when my mom couldn’t be.
"Nothing is out of God’s reach. There is nowhere that God is unwilling to go with you." You just mentioned Daybreak Church, where you’ve been the Worship Director there for the past seven years. How did you get there? Throughout my time in college, the worship leader at Daybreak Church, Rick Calvi, invested time and energy into teaching me how to lead worship. I began leading worship part-time for the youth program and when Rick and his family moved to Montana, I was asked to lead worship at church full -time. I agreed to be the interim worship leader and that was over seven years ago. I remember Jason and Corri Graves, the current pastors at Daybreak, believing in me from the start. Jason told me at the time they invited me onto staff, “Marlena, you were meant to lead.” What’s been some of your biggest moments as a worship leader?
Teaching people how to worship. I love giving people permission to come to Jesus through worship music. And, I’m talking explosive worship where people can feel as they can freely come to God and sing out their hearts. I’ve also had to opportunity to write songs for Daybreak worship and record an album titled “Reckless Love” in 2015. It’s been cool to invite people to sing to God and to come to Him. You have quite the story, girl! What’s one that you’d love to tell people about Jesus. Nothing is out of God’s reach. There is nowhere that God is unwilling to go with you. You are His child. He’s not ashamed of you. He wants to make you more like Jesus. God will take the broken pieces of your heart back to you in a better condition and covered in His love. God’s forgiveness and healing love is always worth living for.
Teaching people how to worship. I love giving people permission to come to Jesus through worship music. And, I’m talking explosive worship where people can feel as they can freely come to God and sing out their hearts. I’ve also had to opportunity to write songs for Daybreak worship and record an album titled “Reckless Love” in 2015. It’s been cool to invite people to sing to God and to come to Him.
YO U C A N F I N D M A R L E N A O N I T U N E S , S P OT I F Y, A ND SUNDAY MOR NING S AT DAY BR E A K CHURCH IN C A R L SB A D, CALIFORNIA. FOLLOW MARENA ON IN S TAG R A M A N D YO U T U B E @ M A R L EN ACO PA D O.
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BE A PART OF OUR MISSION!
C&K
Interview Nomination We’d love to hear from you and share your story! We’re looking for both big and small stories of courageous and kind women. Nominate her today at www.courageousandkind.org. We’ll feature the C&K story among our social media and digital platforms: blog, magazine, podcast. With your help, we’ll share God’s love and truth through our community of testimonies and stories.
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All Things New B Y Ginger Battles
I acquired an old chest of drawers not too long ago. Some friends of mine and I had this idea that we were going to spruce up this “old” piece of furniture and turn it into something “new.” By the time I got over to my friend’s house, they had emptied out all the stuff that was packed away in it and moved it out to the living area where we would begin the renovation process. We got out some heavy duty sand paper and went to work getting the old varnish off. In no time at all, we were surrounded by dust. It was time for the real fun to begin… PAINTING! Coat by coat, the chest of drawers began to come alive, so to speak. My friend had taken a picture of the “old” and when compared it to our finished product, it was a huge difference! After a few hours of drying, it was ready for its new home. I still look at it today and think back on the major transformation that took place. I’ve been going through a period in my life where I feel a bit like that old chest of drawers. A little beat up, paint coming off, and filled up with “stuff.” Some of that stuff is relevant, but most of it hasn’t seen daylight in years. As I searched and leaned into God’s Word, one phrase stood out and made its presence known: All. Things. New. What exactly does it mean to be new? The Bible says , “Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new person. All that is related to the old order has vanished. Behold, everything is fresh and new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (TPT)
To become new, we have to change. From a human standpoint, change is not one of our favorite things to do. We get into routines and a lot of us are reluctant to step out of it. It’s comfortable, it’s predictable—all the things that we crave. Even as Believers, we sometime struggle with the thought of doing something different. Jesus didn’t come so that we would remain the same. He came to make us new. Instead of resisting the change, our best option is to lean into Him and become NEW. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us about seasons, and that every season is tied to a purpose. As I have looked back on my faith journey, I can see how each season of my life was a building block for the next. One thing that Jesus is showing me right now is that I am bringing some stuff and situations from previous seasons along with me. For me to be able to fully grasp onto the new that is coming, I have to let go of the old. As long as these things are with me, there will never be enough room for the new to take shape. God wants to strip away the old varnish of our lives (the destructive habits, hurts, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness ) and get us ready to be painted with new life. He is emptying out all the stuff—emotionally, spiritually and physically—that we no longer need in order to make room for the new.
r e g n Gi
What “stuff” in your life do you need to clean out? Is it time
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Freedom from
Food
Our culture is seemingly obsessed with all things food. There is a disconnect between the endless solutions to better health and nutrition, and the cycle of bad habits that so many of us can't seem to break. B Y Sydney Murrell
Obesity is at an all-time high, yet the diet industry is estimated to bring in a total of 70 billion dollars this year. Why are we spending so much money on diet products that are not working? You might not be spending money on a diet pill, a cleanse, a fast, or adopting a restrictive way of eating, but do you have a right relationship with your food? Too many of us are putting too much focus on what we eat rather than who it is that is sustaining us. It’s occupying much more space in our lives than necessary. I studied Nutritional Science at Point Loma Nazarene University in San Diego and spent the last five years working in the field of nutrition. Although I would not consider myself an expert, I believe God designed us for more than our culture tells us about food. When people find out what I do, they tend to do one of two things: ask me what I eat, as if I am about to unlock the secret to their nutritional struggles; or they go on the defense, mentioning that they typically “never eat this way” and the cookie they just ate was because they had the best workout of their life that morning. The truth is I don’t really care if they eat the cookie, nor do I have the secret to unlock their dream body; however, I do think we’re focusing on the wrong thing. When you look at the creation account in the Bible, God designed food to fuel us and sustain life. One of the very first commands God gives mankind is what to eat. Genesis 1:29 (NIV) “Then God said, ‘I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.’” Genesis 1:29 (NIV)
God designed us to need food to sustain life. He intended for the food we consume to bless us and nourish our bodies. We intuitively know this to be true. When we are eating healthy and taking care of the bodies God gave us, we naturally feel better. On the other hand, if we are careless about what we put into our bodies, we can feel the negative effects of that, too. God designed us with such careful thought and intention. Why do we find it so hard to listen to our bodies? Where have we gone wrong and why do we struggle so much when it comes to food? The answer is found in the Bible. In Genesis, you’ll find the story of Adam and Eve where sin entered the world with just one bite of the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden. Nothing in our world and in our lives is immune to sin, not even when it comes to our food. What once was made in perfect design now falls subject to a fallen, sinful world. We have taken what was made for the perfect purpose of fueling our bodies and have found ourselves idolizing it. We find examples of this throughout scripture. One that has always stuck out to me is the story of the Exodus out of Egypt. We find a people freed from their once enslaved lives grumbling against God because, essentially, they are hungry. Exodus 16:3 (NIV) “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”
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The Israelites were too focused on what they did not have to remember what God had done and was doing in their lives.They witnessed an amazing miracle— God had split the Red Sea in two, delivering His people. Even amidst their grumbling, God was leading them to the promised land, a land flowing with milk and honey. We can so easily think like the Israelites, focusing on ourselves and missing all that God has done and is doing. When that type of thinking begins to creep in, one of my favorite prayers is found in Psalm 139 and reads: Psalm 139: 23-24 (NIV) “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Where are our hearts when it comes to food? Are we condemning others for choices that are different from ours? Do we feel the need to post our homemade, organic, gluten-free, sugar-free, keto, “whatever” on social media just to feel a little bit of worth? Maybe we are envious of the mom who packs organic everything for her kids and would never hit up the McDonald’s drive-thru in a pinch. Maybe we wish we could fit into our old pair of skinny jeans still sitting in the back of our closets. Or maybe we focus on fixing the picture perfect meals to avoid some deep hurts we have lingering in the background. Whatever it may be, don’t let it distract you from the real purpose God has in store for you. We were created for so much more than what our culture has taught us. It is not bad to want to be healthy. It’s even Biblical to honor your body in such a way. But know this: God cares more about the condition of your heart than the results of what you put into your body. So next time you sit down for a meal, enter it with grace and a thankful heart. That’s what God really wants.
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Let’s honor God and give glory to Him by taking care of the bodies He has entrusted to us. Let’s care for them the same way that He would. What does that look like? • Eat as many “God-made foods” as you can.This includes things like fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains and meats. • Know there is no one-size-fitsall diet plan. When you feel better if you eat gluten-free, great! Continue doing so! Our guts were created just as diverse as our souls, and so no one plan will work for everyone. • Extend grace to yourself and others. There’s no reason to judge others for what they do and do not eat. We all have different needs, different tastes and preferences, but we all have one God! In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians we find a perfect example of this, the believer's freedom. 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NIV) “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.”
y e n Syd
Your Body is a
Temple
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit….Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19a, 20b B Y Jessica Wuerffel
We know it. We’ve heard it. But how often do we think of it? REALLY think of it? In our day-today moments, it is not often we think, “WOW! I’m a walking church! This action/food/thought is a direct-deposited into God’s home. I’d better clean things up around here!” What a difference a shift in perspective can make. That one simple thought “I am a walking church" can have tremendous impact on your daily living. All of a sudden those words, that donut, that anger you’ve been holding onto may not be as welcome as it once was. What are some steps we can take to “tidy up house”? Without stealing any credit from Marie Kondo, how can you do a little tidying of your own? Let’s consider our bodies as not just temples, but as tabernacles. The tabernacle was a portable church that went everywhere the Israelites did as they wandered the desert (Ex. 26). No matter where the feet of the promised people stepped, they always landed on solid ground, because God Himself traveled with them.
God does so with us, too! In OUR portable church, our bodies. Keeping those bodies mobile, in good condition, and active becomes a pertinent part of church maintenance.
Step 1: Maintain mobility. (And yes, I’m talking about exercise here, ladies. I know…ick.)
This does not mean we need to be at the gym seven days a week for two hours, train for a triathlon, or bike across America. Fitness happens in small steps. Small steps that add up to big steps, that add up to daily maintenance of an incredible church! (Isn’t it nice when we don’t have to clean ALL the stained-glass windows and polish ALL the offering plates because we have cleaned them each, one at a time, along the way?) Our fitness paths can take their first small steps by parking as far from Target as we can, by taking the stairs instead of the elevator, by going on a bike ride during lunch, or by asking a friend to meet us for a walk instead of nachos.
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“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7. God is already IN us. Yes, in Spirit, but in body, too. YOUR body.
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Step 2: Breathe. Big, long, deep, slow breaths. Each breath is like a Lysol wipe for our insides.
After we take our first small steps a few times (think: toddler learning to walk), we are ready to progress. Progression in fitness happens when you are ready and is a natural part of maintaining our tabernacles. Progression can include asking a friend to hold us accountable to twenty minutes of motion five days a week, committing to a race or fitness challenge, or hiring a personal trainer to really push our limits.
Step 3: Set goals. One simple act of progression
includes goal setting for yourself. Setting goals is an impacting and encouraging way to hold ourselves to the task of keeping in motion. The trick is to remember that goals do not need to be huge, far-reaching ventures. Goals, just like our initiation into fitness, should happen in small steps. Each goal should make us feel good about ourselves, so it should be easily attainable (i.e. eating one more serving of vegetables per day, taking five deep breaths each morning, doing three stretches before bed, taking that first walk, or trying one new fitness class). When we see ourselves succeed, we boost our self-confidence and eliminate fear. Always remember: YOU CAN DO IT! And setting small goals will remind you of that. Fitness can be a daunting subject to broach, especially if you have not exercised previously, or have had a bad experience with exercise. But please remember, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 God is already IN us. Yes, in Spirit, but in body, too. YOUR body. His church. YOU. CAN. DO. IT. Because He lives in you. Take care of His house.
a c i Jess
Surviving Motherhood
Podcast
Surviving Motherhood is a podcast featuring Cris and Rachel, two moms, sister-in-laws and friends who are navigating motherhood and just trying to survive together. You’ll find them talking through all the ups and downs of life, and hopefully laugh, relate, and feel motivated along the way! Find Cris and Rachel at survivingmotherhoodpodcast.com IG: @SurvivingMotherhoodPodcast Subscribe & listen on your favorite podcast platform! ISSUE#1
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“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.� Romans 8:37-39 (NIV)
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I AM A DAUGHTER WHY I
p i h s r Wo B Y Marlena Copado
As a worship director at a local church, designing sets and creating environments for authentic worship during events is literally my job.
I have been blessed to be a part of many diverse communities and events experiencing the power of our God through corporate worship. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank the Lord for what I get to be a part of. However, I haven’t always been as consistent to show my thanks. While my story in coming to know Jesus is definitely a gritty mess, the Lord has been faithful to draw my heart delicately and outrageously close to His. My transformation and choice to follow Jesus is an outstanding one for sure, and my passionate, explosive worship for Him comes from a place of near death and utter desperation, as well as such gratefulness that God, the Holy of Holies, the Great I AM would love me. I thought, “This is it! My life is where I need to be and I have reached an enlightened and elevated form of worship and adoration for my God.” I have always had a reason to sing. A reason to worship. A desire to let God know how much I loved Him, because of what He has done for me through Christ Jesus. So when I went into some pretty intense and hard spaces these last few years, I was thrown into chaos and confusion that left me asking why and how. I tried to reason with the confusion, “But I’m a worship leader! I work at a church and I can’t not be OK?!” On top of releasing an album and being asked to be on a particular singing TV show I felt the pressure rising. Then I lost my voice to nodules and it felt like everything was fell apart. “God, where did You go?” I can’t explain how many times I asked that question the last few years of wandering in my wilderness of discontentment and identity crisis. I found myself giving into lie after lie that I was a failure and that everyone was disappointed and done with me. Even God. I found myself in this cycle where truth and lie just seemed to blend together. But God wasn’t done and He
had never left me. Things started to shift as I became more and more dependent on God’s Word and what HE had to say. The Bible isn’t just a book of “rules,” it is a true north. When the Lord leads you into a wilderness, it reveals what you really believe. My wilderness showed I was living with unbelief that the Lord would take care of me. Within that unbelief and faulty thinking, I started to hustle for my own needs, for my truth, and for what I thought I deserved. But God used His Word, the Bible, to catch my attention with a verse in 1 Thessalonians. “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT) It wasn’t that I wasn’t praying enough or that I wasn’t trying to be joyful or thankful. No, it was the last part of the scripture that got me, “for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” WHO BELONG TO CHRIST JESUS. Do I believe that I belong to Jesus? This hit me like a wall right in front of my face. I remember the tears that came and the release of pressing into this truth. I belong to Him. I am not Marlena Copado, worship leader. I am not my successes or achievements, nor am I my failures. I am Marlena Copado. I am a Daughter. Daughter to the most high King, and He loves me. And let me tell you, that is why I worship. That is why I sing. That is why no matter my circumstances, nothing can separate me from my God. And because of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I am a conqueror. This is why WE worship, family. The Word of God reminds us of who He is so that we remember who we are. This shifted my heart and my perspective. Knowing that I am a daughter, a child of the one true God. Knowing I belong to Him I then can find joy, pray and give thanks, and worship. I hope you find encouragement in this truth. To worship God is to know who you are and you are His.
a n e l Mar
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What I'm Listening to-Marlena Copado This is a place I love to share what has me inspired or keeps me connected or is just AWESOME! Feel free to follow the C&K Spotify Playlist for a few of what I am really digging at the moment and feel will help you stay inspired, keep you connected, and courageously worship! Music C&K Spotify playlist Albums Worship: Kierra Sheard “Free” Barrett (self titled album) Elevation Collective “Evidence” Phil Wickham “Living Hope” Misc. Victory “The Broken Instrument” Jackie Hill Perry “The Art Of Joy” Podcasts Jonathan David and Melissa Helser (literally has changed my life) Erwin McManus Elevation with Steven Furtick City Lights Dubai (specifically Alex Seeley – A Full Life In The Emptiest Of Places) COURAGEOUS & KIND Spotify Playlist- https:// open.spotify.com/playlist/4o58zjZ2s1vJ1UhAajomC0?si=fz8ZgGdQQ3-7vbdJeQvadg
COURAGEOUS & KIND Podcast is coming soon! APRIL 2019! Look for us on iTunes and other streaming devices.
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THE GUYS CORNER
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Who Says?
Seeking God's Standard Over Tips and Tricks for a Successful Marriage B Y Austin Prince
One of life’s single most helpful questions is, “Says who?” When faced with any truth claim, it’s important to know by what standard that claim is being made. What rules are being applied? What authority does the statement have?
"'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV)
The reason this is so helpful is because we live in an age of half-truths and nebulous creeds. Every day we see hundreds of platitudes lining our social media pages like a perpetual senior quotes bulletin. To many, these sayings help them get through a tough day or season of life. To others, they become life’s rallying cry. But most are about as authoritative as Monopoly money.
Paul is saying that marriage (when a man and wife hold fast to each other) is a profound mystery because it is an explicit reflection of Christ and the church.
Unfortunately, much of advice for Christians is “truthy.” It has the appearance of truth — it smells Christian enough — but it isn’t rooted in any real authority. To be clear, it’s not that all quotes outside of scripture are wrong, but if the feel-good quote of the month doesn’t have any true root, then it can’t produce any true fruit. They become a low-grade pastiche of scripture. We want to be people of The Book. Truth-slingers and authority-seekers. In all things we want the question of, “Says who?” to be answered with, “God says.” It is scripture, as 2 Timothy 3:16 (ESV) says, that “is authoritative and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” With that understanding, let’s talk about marriage. In the world of “try this” Christian marriage strategies de jour, are there true and lasting directives for wives and husbands? Is there authoritative advice for the difficult adventure of marriage? The answer is yes, and the advice is timeless, tough and trustworthy. It’s God’s word, and it is standard over slogan, principle over platitude. I offer these hard but beautiful gems from Ephesians 5 as an example.
In other words, there is a standard or purpose for our marriages, and that purpose is to express and expose the Gospel– Christ and his Church. Our marriages are not aimless endeavors meant to fulfill our personal desires or comfort the years of our troubled lives, but rather, they are a public covenant display of God’s beauty in the way He has loved the whole world. The benefits are fruit, not root. Not only does God say that there is a specific goal for our marriages, but there are specific roles within our marriages, too. The ways are humbling and hard, but they are the only way to do marriage right. They are standard. In my own marriage, it is often the case that our recurring frustrations (which, if we’re being honest, is a polite term for arguments) can usually be traced back to the same essential offenses. Because men and women are distinct in their creation, yet are intended to complement each other, their needs are generally different. Like how some cars run on different types of fuel, I as a man generally run on the fuel of respect, while my wife runs on the fuel of love.
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WHAT WE'RE READING “Grit” by Angela Duckworth “It’s Not Supposed to be This Way” by Lysa TerKeurst “Dare to Lead” by Brene Brown “Gospel Fluency” by Jeff Vanderstelt “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever” by Michael Bungay Stanier “Remember God” by Annie Downs “Mom Up” by Kara-Kae James “Unshakeable Hope” by Max Lucado “Before We Were Yours” by Lisa Wingate “What Love Is” by Kelly Minter
Let’s be social! Follow us: IG: @TheCourageousandKindProject FB: @TheCourageousandKindProject Sign up for the C&K Newsletter at www.courageousandkind.org
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W W W. S T U D IO - S TA N DA R D . C O
The lowest common denominator in our frustrations can usually be traced back to a discord in this area. She can love me well (and she does), but if I feel that she doesn’t respect me then I get discouraged and annoyed. In a similar way, I can respect her how I wish I was respected and neglect to love her well, which has an oversized influence. God’s Word in Ephesians 5 is very helpful here as well. God commands us to love in ways that aren’t natural to us. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:22-25 (NIV) Wives, submit. Husbands, die. Wives, honor. Husbands, love. The Gospel isn’t shocking because it makes sense, it is shocking because holy love willingly sacrifices for the benefit of the undeserved, and our minds can hardly comprehend it. As husbands, our role in marriage is to imitate the sacrificial work of Christ. Go and die. Get familiar with the feeling. Quit complaining. Knock off the self-pity and lay our lives down. Teach how Christ loves by imitating Him. What if she is being sinful, should I continue to sacrifice for her? Romans 5:8 tells us Christ did just that. Wives, your role in marriage is to imitate the Church’s willing response to Christ. Submit and be responsive. Honor and serve your home with willing hands just like the Church models obedience and submission to Christ. Obviously your husband isn’t Christ, but the way you serve him shows publicly what a redeemed life of joyful service looks like. Do you need to submit to every man this way? No, the text says that this is reserved for our own husbands. Should you serve him if he is being sinful? Yes, outside of sinning to serve your spouse, 1 Peter 3:1-2 says “wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” These aren’t sweet strategies or spicy suggestions. They’re standards, and they are meant to honor the covenant of a fruitful and lasting marriage. Says who? God says.
n i t s Au
C&K
Help Wanted Would you be willing to let us interview you (or a friend!) for a COURAGEOUS & KIND feature story? Can you think of a time that you overcame something with God's strength and courage? If not you, do you know someone who has? Let us know! Tell us! We’re building a community of C&K women and we need your help! www.courageousandkind.org
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Finding Good Company in Friendship B Y Cris Rapier
As a mom of four little boys, I can’t even begin to count the number of strawberries I’ve cut up. My boys eat more fruit than I ever knew was possible! After I buy strawberries, I immediately bring them home, wash and cut them. I find that cutting them up makes the strawberries look more appealing to the boys, and also feels less like an “involved” snack later for me if they’re ready to go in a bowl in the refrigerator. One part of this process is to pick out the mushy ones. You know what I’m talking about, right? The mushy, fuzzy, white moldy strawberry that’s right in the middle of all the other ones. I’ve found that if you leave the mushy strawberry in the bowl, it will start to affect all the other ones and make them mushy and moldy, too. If my 6-year-old sees a bad strawberry, he thinks I might as well ditch the whole package and start over. Even if the package has 20 good strawberries and one bad one, leaving the one strawberry will slowly start to turn the whole thing bad. Just as a bad, mushy and moldy strawberry can ruin a perfectly good one, the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:33 that bad company can corrupt good character. This isn’t the only warning we see about this subject. We also see this theme all over the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 13:20 tells us, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (NIV) “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn you learn his ways and tangle yourself into a snare.” Proverbs 22:24-25 "Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge" Proverbs 14:7
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Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." As Christian women, we have to be diligent and mindful of who we are allowing in our “bowl” of life. We need to be surrounded by women who will encourage and lift us up, pray with us, be there for us and carry our burdens, and get down in the trenches with us. We need a strong tribe of truth-speaking, life-breathing, inspiring women. The old adage “birds of a feather, flock together” is true. We become like those with whom we surround ourselves. When is the last time you’ve taken time to think about who’s in your company? Do you have friends in your “bowl” (your workplace, neighborhood, carpool or community group, etc.) who encourage you or tear you down? Do you feel refreshed and inspired when you leave their company or drained and worn out? If we don’t take time to pick out the bad in our bowl, the mushy and moldy can creep up in our lives. We don’t need to throw out the whole package, but we can’t keep a company of friends who breed negativity through gossip, lies, manipulation, ungratefulness, or bitterness. Let’s pay attention to who is in our bowl of life as keeping good friendships can be one the biggest blessings in life.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
My hope is that this magazine creates a culture of just that - a sense of community where we belong. We need to stick together and sharpen each other. Let's be mindful of the mushy strawberry. After all, we are aiming for the fruit of the Spirit! “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
Cris
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Even If B Y Ilissa Goines
Dream Killer. Have you ever thought of God this way? Have you ever wondered why we are allowed to dream big things only to find out that those things are not in the will of God? I remember growing up and every adult in my life saying things like “You can be anything you want to be!” Well, I wanted to be a gymnast as a kid but God gave me the flexibility of a 2x4. My mom enrolled me in a gymnastics class and a year later, I still couldn’t do a cartwheel. It just wasn’t in the cards for me. But man, I used to watch the gymnastics teams during the Olympic games and wish I could do all of that tumbling. How fun it would have been to compete at that level? A dream that I would never see become a reality because it wasn’t a part of my journey. As a kid we dream big things that sometimes go outside the realm of actual possibility. As adults though, I think we tend to dream within a box. We know that there are certain things that are attainable in life. Things like graduating college, getting married, buying a house, starting a career, and having babies. What happens when these things that we see as a “sure thing” seem to stay outside of our reach? What about when God says “no,” or “not now?” What do we do when God denies us what we saw as certain for our future? What about when we lose a parent early in life? Grief takes hold. We grieve a life that could have been or should have been. What about a divorce? How could this possibly be within the will of God? Life is so full of unknowns and limited on guarantees. When I think about the ideal life, I think about the American dream. In this country, we are so blessed. We are free to make decisions that affect what our life looks like in the future. Not everyone is afforded this luxury. We grow up, get married, have 2.5 kids (I’m still not sure how the .5 works, HA), and live happily ever after. Or at least that’s how we see it going. We never make concessions for the “what ifs”. What if I don’t meet Mr. or Mrs. Right? What if it takes me years to land my dream job? What if I am unable to have babies? These are all unfortunate realities that so many of us face. It causes us to come face-to-face
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But what happens when these things that we see as a “sure thing” seem to stay outside of our reach? What about when God says “no,” or “not now?”
with the reality that our dreams may be outside of the will of God. Oh friends, that is where Jesus can do so much work! What if we took our what-ifs and turned them into even-ifs? Mind. Blown. One of my favorite Bible stories growing up was the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendago and the fiery furnace. King Nebuchandnezzer had erected a giant idol of himself for the people to worship. When our three friends refused, they were threatened with certain death by fiery furnace. “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendago replied to him, ‘King Nebuchandnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand. But EVEN IF he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up. “ Daniel 3:16-18 (NIV) (emphasis added) What a powerful statement in the face of death. We
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COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT: TABLE OF GRACE B Y Janice Carhart
Grand Avenue United Methodist Church hosts the “Table of Grace” a weekly community meal. Grand Avenue United Methodist Church hosts the “Table of Grace” a weekly community meal in Hot Springs, Arkansas.
know our God and that He is capable of perfecting every situation, but should He choose to not save us, we will worship Him alone anyway. WOW. There is no situation that is beyond the touch of the one true God. He is the author and perfecter of our faith, our lives, and our dreams. Maybe God has a plan that is bigger than the dreams we dream for ourselves. Maybe we need to say that EVEN IF God does not deliver me from infertility, singledom, cancer, or whatever else this life can use to kill our spirit, OUR GOD IS STILL GOOD. We will not allow our faith to waiver just because we cannot see the big picture. God is still God. Jesus still reigns, even in the midst of despair. God is not a dream killer. We just haven’t dared to dream big enough yet.
a ss i Il
We have a community meal every Sunday evening. We chose Sunday because there aren’t any other meals offered in Hot Springs on Sunday evening. Last Sunday, we served over a hundred guests, as well as twenty-seven church helpers. We open our doors at 4:30PM and have musical entertainment from community volunteers, followed by a short devotion. This is also a great time of fellowship and laughter for all involved. The tables are set with prayer cards and pencils for our guests to leave prayer requests. We also have a staffed prayer table for those in need of immediate prayer. We also have a Blessing Box outside the church doors. People bring food and toiletries and leave there. This is a blessing to many in our community, including our Table of Grace friends. ️ A few weeks ago, a lady came into the church office, saying that the Blessing Box had enabled her to feed her grandchildren, which she is raising. She had some extra money, and wanted to give back. She gave the pastor $3.00. She was so proud to be able to help. He purchased more food for the blessing box with her $3.00!
GRAND AVENUE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH 841 QUAPAW AVENUE
e c i n a J
HOT SPRINGS, ARKANSAS 71901
To give, volunteer, and find out more visit www.gaumc.org or call (501) 623-5626 Do you know someone or an organization making a difference in your community? Let us know! Email the C&K Editor at editor@courageousandkind.org ISSUE#1
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