Anger Management Instructor Guide
TABLE OF CONTENTS Preface ..............................................................................................................................................5 What is Courseware? ................................................................................................................................ 5 How Do I Customize My Course? .............................................................................................................. 5 Materials Required ................................................................................................................................... 7 Maximizing Your Training Power .............................................................................................................. 7 Module One: Getting Started .............................................................................................................9 Housekeeping Items.................................................................................................................................. 9 The Parking Lot ....................................................................................................................................... 10 Workshop Objectives .............................................................................................................................. 10 Pre-Assignment Review .......................................................................................................................... 11 Action Plans and Evaluations.................................................................................................................. 12 Module Two: Understanding Anger .................................................................................................. 13 The Cycle of Anger .................................................................................................................................. 13 Understanding Fight or Flight ................................................................................................................. 16 Common Myths about Anger.................................................................................................................. 18 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 19 Module Two: Review Questions.............................................................................................................. 20 Module Three: Do’s and Don’ts ........................................................................................................ 21 Unhelpful Ways of Dealing with Anger................................................................................................... 21 Helpful Ways of Dealing with Anger ....................................................................................................... 23 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 24 Module Four: Gaining Control .......................................................................................................... 27 A Word of Warning ................................................................................................................................. 27
Using Coping Thoughts ........................................................................................................................... 29 Using Relaxation Techniques .................................................................................................................. 31 Blowing Off Some Steam ........................................................................................................................ 32 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 34 Module Four: Review Questions ............................................................................................................. 35 Module Five: Separate the People from the Problem ........................................................................ 36 Objective vs. Subjective Language .......................................................................................................... 36 Identifying the Problem .......................................................................................................................... 39 Using “I� Messages ................................................................................................................................. 40 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 42 Module Five: Review Questions .............................................................................................................. 43 Module Six: Working on the Problem ............................................................................................... 44 Using Constructive Disagreement .......................................................................................................... 44 Negotiation Tips...................................................................................................................................... 46 Building Consensus ................................................................................................................................. 48 Identifying Solutions ............................................................................................................................... 49 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 51 Module Six: Review Questions ................................................................................................................ 52 Module Seven: Solving the Problem ................................................................................................. 54 Choosing a Solution ................................................................................................................................ 54 Making a Plan ......................................................................................................................................... 56 Getting it Done ....................................................................................................................................... 57 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 59 Module Seven: Review Questions ........................................................................................................... 60 Module Eight: A Personal Plan.......................................................................................................... 61 Understanding Hot Buttons .................................................................................................................... 61
Identifying Your Hot Buttons .................................................................................................................. 63 A Personal Anger Log .............................................................................................................................. 64 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 66 Module Eight: Review Questions ............................................................................................................ 67 Module Nine: The Triple A Approach ................................................................................................ 68 Alter ........................................................................................................................................................ 68 Avoid ....................................................................................................................................................... 70 Accept ..................................................................................................................................................... 71 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 72 Module Nine: Review Questions ............................................................................................................. 73 Module Ten: Dealing with Angry People ........................................................................................... 74 Understanding the Energy Curve ............................................................................................................ 74 De-escalation Techniques ....................................................................................................................... 77 When to Back Away and What to Do Next ............................................................................................. 80 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 82 Module Ten: Review Questions .............................................................................................................. 83 Module Eleven: Pulling It All Together .............................................................................................. 84 Process Overview .................................................................................................................................... 84 Putting It into Action............................................................................................................................... 86 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 87 Module Eleven: Review Questions .......................................................................................................... 88 Module Twelve: Wrapping Up .......................................................................................................... 89 Words from the Wise .............................................................................................................................. 89 Parking Lot .............................................................................................................................................. 89 Action Plans and Evaluations.................................................................................................................. 89
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. Chinese Proverb Preface What is Courseware? Welcome to Courseware.com, a completely new training experience! Our courseware packages offer you top-quality training materials that are customizable, user-friendly, educational, and fun. We provide your materials, materials for the student, PowerPoint slides, and a take-home reference sheet for the student. You simply need to prepare and train! Best of all, our courseware packages are created in Microsoft Office and can be opened using any version of Word and PowerPoint. (Most other word processing and presentation programs support these formats, too.) This means that you can customize the content, add your logo, change the color scheme, and easily print and e-mail training materials.
How Do I Customize My Course? Customizing your course is easy. To edit text, just click and type as you would with any document. This is particularly convenient if you want to add customized statistics for your region, special examples for your participants’ industry, or additional information. You can, of course, also use all of your word processor’s other features, including text formatting and editing tools (such as cutting and pasting). To remove modules, simply select the text and press Delete on your keyboard. Then, navigate to the Table of Contents, right-click, and click Update Field. You may see a dialog box; if so, click “Update entire table” and press OK.
(You will also want to perform this step if you add modules or move them around.)
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If you want to change the way text looks, you can format any piece of text any way you want. However, to make it easy, we have used styles so that you can update all the text at once. If you are using Word 97 to 2003, start by clicking the Format menu followed by Styles and Formatting. In Word 2007 and 2010 under the Home tab, right-click on your chosen style and click Modify. That will then produce the Modify Style options window where you can set your preferred style options. For example, if we wanted to change our Heading 1 style, used for Module Titles, this is what we would do:
Now, we can change our formatting and it will apply to all the headings in the document. For more information on making Word work for you, please refer to Word 2007 or 2010 Essentials by Courseware.com.
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Materials Required All of our courses use flip chart paper and markers extensively. (If you prefer, you can use a whiteboard or chalkboard instead.) We recommend that each participant have a copy of the Training Manual, and that you review each module before training to ensure you have any special materials required. Worksheets and handouts are included within a separate activities folder and can be reproduced and used where indicated. If you would like to save paper, these worksheets are easily transferrable to a flip chart paper format, instead of having individual worksheets. We recommend these additional materials for all workshops:
Laptop with projector, for PowerPoint slides
Quick Reference Sheets for students to take home
Timer or watch (separate from your laptop)
Masking tape
Blank paper
Maximizing Your Training Power We have just one more thing for you before you get started. Our company is built for trainers, by trainers, so we thought we would share some of our tips with you, to help you create an engaging, unforgettable experience for your participants.
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Make it customized. By tailoring each course to your participants, you will find that your results will increase a thousand-fold. o
Use examples, case studies, and stories that are relevant to the group.
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Identify whether your participants are strangers or whether they work together. Tailor your approach appropriately.
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Different people learn in different ways, so use different types of activities to balance it all out. (For example, some people learn by reading, while others learn by talking about it, while still others need a hands-on approach. For more information, we suggest Experiential Learning by David Kolb.)
Make it fun and interactive. Most people do not enjoy sitting and listening to someone else talk for hours at a time. Make use of the tips in this book and your own experience to keep your
participants engaged. Mix up the activities to include individual work, small group work, large group discussions, and mini-lectures. 
Make it relevant. Participants are much more receptive to learning if they understand why they are learning it and how they can apply it in their daily lives. Most importantly, they want to know how it will benefit them and make their lives easier. Take every opportunity to tie what you are teaching back to real life.
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Keep an open mind. Many trainers find that they learn something each time they teach a workshop. If you go into a training session with that attitude, you will find that there can be an amazing two-way flow of information between the trainer and trainees. Enjoy it, learn from it, and make the most of it in your workshops.
And now, time for the training!
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha Module One: Getting Started Welcome to the Anger Management workshop. Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” We would like to add a third item to his list: anger. Anger can be an incredibly damaging force, costing people their jobs, personal relationships, and even their lives when it gets out of hand. However, since everyone experiences anger, it is important to have constructive approaches to manage it effectively. This workshop will help teach participants how to identify their anger triggers and what to do when their angry.
Housekeeping Items Take a few moments to cover basic housekeeping items.
If you need an opening or a way to introduce the participants to each other, utilize the Icebreakers folder to begin or between breaks during the day.
Let participants know where they can find washrooms, break facilities, and fire exits.
Ask participants to turn off their cell phones or at least turn them to vibrate. If they must take a call, request that they do it outside.
Take this time to encourage the group to ask questions and make this an interactive workshop.
Write the words Respect, Confidentiality, and Practice on a piece of flip chart paper and tape it to the wall. Explain to participants that in order to get the most out of this workshop, we must all work together, listen to each other, explore new ideas, and make mistakes. After all, that’s how we learn!
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The Parking Lot Explain the concept of The Parking Lot to participants.
The Parking Lot is a visible place where you will “park” ideas that arise which are not on the agenda, may be off topic, or are better addressed outside of the program.
At the end of the session, we will review parked ideas and follow up, or make suggestions for your own investigation when you are back at work.
Suggestions for the trainer: 1. If you are working with a large group of participants, you may wish to nominate a recorder to park items as you are facilitating. 2. It’s a good idea to note the name of the contributor along with the parked item. 3. Items noted on the parking lot can be useful to you later as you plan future training sessions.
Workshop Objectives Research has consistently demonstrated that when clear goals are associated with learning that the learning occurs more easily and rapidly. With that in mind, let’s review our goals for today. By the end of this workshop, participants will be able to:
Understand anger dynamics in terms of the anger cycle and the fight or flight theory.
Know common anger myths and their factual refutations.
Know the helpful and unhelpful ways of dealing with anger.
Know techniques in controlling anger, particular reading anger warning signs, using coping thoughts, exercising relaxation techniques and blowing off steam.
Understand the difference between objective and subjective language.
Know tips in identifying the problem.
Express a feeling or position using I-messages.
Know skills and techniques in making a disagreement constructive, including effective negotiation and solution-building.
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Reflect on one’s hot buttons and personal anger dynamics.
Know alter, avoid and, accept ways of responding to an anger-provoking situation.
Understand the energy curve and how it can help in responding to someone else’s anger.
Learn and practice de-escalation techniques.
Gain an integrated view of anger management and how it can be best practiced.
Pre-Assignment Review The purpose of the Pre-Assignment is to get participants thinking about the Anger Management strategies they are already using and where they need to improve. As a pre-assignment, we asked participants to think of a situation where they had experienced anger, preferably one that no longer affects them in the present time. We also asked them to recall the exact symptoms they experienced, and the way they responded to the symptoms. The following guide questions can help during this process: During your anger incident, 1
What symptoms did you experience A. Physically? B. Mentally? C. Emotionally? D. Behaviorally?
2. What was your response to your anger symptoms? 3. Was your response helpful? If yes, in what way was it helpful? If your response was not helpful, in what way was it unhelpful? We asked the participants to take a moment to review their responses. The participants were also requested to keep their responses in mind during the workshop, as they can assist in grounding the ideas to be presented into their practical lives. NOTE: A worksheet for these questions can be found in the Activities folder.
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Action Plans and Evaluations Pass out the participant action plans and evaluations, available in the activities folder. Ask participants to fill these out throughout the day as they learn new things and have ideas on how to incorporate the things we discuss into their lives.
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Anger always comes from frustrated expectations. Elliot Larson Module Two: Understanding Anger Before we discuss specific anger management strategies, it is helpful to first understand the nature of anger. While most are familiar with this emotion, not everyone is aware of its underlying dynamics. In this module, we will discuss the cycle of anger, the fight or flight response, and common myths about anger.
The Cycle of Anger Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. It’s a pervasive emotion; it affects our body, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Anger is often described in terms of its intensity, frequency, duration, threshold, and expression. Anger typically follows a predictable pattern: a cycle. Understanding the cycle of anger can help us understand our own anger reactions, and those of others. It can also help us in considering the most appropriate response. Illustrated below are the five phases of the anger cycle: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery, and depression.
Crisis
Escalation
Recovery
The Cycle of Anger Trigger
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Depression Normal/ Adaptive Phase
1. The Trigger Phase The trigger phase happens when we perceive a threat or loss, and our body prepares to respond. In this phase, there is a subtle change from an individual’s normal/ adaptive state into his stressed state. Anger triggers differ from person to person, and can come from both the environment or from our thought processes. 2. The Escalation Phase In the escalation phase, there is the progressive appearance of the anger response. In this phase, our body prepares for a crisis after perceiving the trigger. This preparation is mostly physical, and is manifested through symptoms like rapid breathing, increased heart rate, and raised blood pressure. Once the escalation phase is reached there is less chance of calming down, as this is the phase where the body prepares for fight or flight (to be discussed later). 3. The Crisis Phase As previously mentioned, the escalation phase is progressive, and it is in the crisis phase that the anger reaction reaches its peak. In the crisis phase our body is on full alert, prepared to take action in response to the trigger. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if not impaired because the anger instinct takes over. In extreme cases, the crisis phase means that a person may be a serious danger to himself or to other people. 4. The Recovery Phase The recovery phase happens when the anger has been spent, or at least controlled, and there is now a steady return to a person’s normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning and awareness of one’s self returns. If the right intervention is applied, the return to normalcy progresses smoothly. However, an inappropriate intervention can re-ignite the anger and serve as a new trigger. 5. The Depression Phase The depression phase marks a return to a person’s normal/ adaptive ways. Physically, this stage marks below normal vital signs, such as heart rate, so that the body can recover equilibrium. A person’s full use of his faculties return at this point, and the new awareness helps a person assess what just occurred. Consequently, this stage may be marked by embarrassment, guilt, regret, and or depression. After the depression phase is a return to a normal or adaptive phase. A new trigger, however, can start the entire cycle all over again. Below is an example of a person going through the five stages of the anger cycle. Josephine came home from work to see dirty plates left in the sink (trigger phase). She started to wash them, but as she was doing so she kept thinking about how inconsiderate her children are for not cleaning after themselves. She was already tired from work and does not need the extra chore. She felt the heat in her neck and the tremble in her hands as she’s washing the dishes (escalation phase).
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Feeling like she can’t keep it to herself any longer, she stormed up the room to confront her kids. In a raised voice, she asked them how difficult could it be to wash the dishes. She told them that they are getting punished for their lack of responsibility (crisis phase). Having gotten the words out, she felt calmer, and her heartbeat slowly returned to normal. She saw that her kids are busy with homework when she had interrupted them. She was also better able to hear their reasoning, as they apologized (recovery phase). Josephine regretted yelling at her children and told them that she’s simply tired and it’s not their fault (depression phase). NOTE: How long each phase lasts differ from person to person. Some people also skip certain phases, or else they go through them privately and/ or unconsciously.
Estimated Time
15 minutes
Topic Objective
To enumerate and describe the five phases of the anger cycle. Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. It has five phases:
The Trigger Phase. The trigger phase happens when we perceive a threat or loss, and our body prepares to respond.
The Escalation Phase. In the escalation phase is the progressive appearance of the anger response.
The Crisis Phase. The crisis phase is when the anger reaction is at its peak. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if not impaired.
The Recovery Phase. The recovery phase happens when the anger has been spent, or at least controlled, and there is now a steady return to a person’s normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning and awareness of one’s self returns.
The Depression Phase. The depression phase marks a return to a person’s normal/ adaptive ways. A person’s full use of his faculties return at this point. Consequently, this stage may be marked by embarrassment, guilt, regret, and or depression.
Topic Summary
Flipchart and Markers Materials Required 01-Cycle of Anger
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Planning Checklist
Prepare an example to illustrate the 5 phases of anger, preferably one that’s suited to the profile of the group. You may also use the example in this manual. Print out Worksheet One for everyone (optional).
Recommended Activity
Ask participants to think of a person whose anger reaction they have observed. It can be a family member, a friend, or a co-worker. Ask them to think about how this person goes through the five phases of the anger cycle (or any of the five they have seen). Discuss their observations. NOTE: Keep identities confidential! If a participant is comfortable with self-analysis, then he or she can choose to analyze a personal anger incident for this activity. The incident they thought of for the pre-assignment review can be a subject for the activity. Worksheet One is an optional guide for this activity.
Delivery Tips
At this stage of the workshop, the group may not yet be comfortable around self-reflection and self-disclosure. Succeeding modules, however, have many areas of self-analysis. You may set up for this methodology by explaining to the group early on that the workshop topic may be sensitive and personal, but learning can be maximize if concepts are related to personal experiences. Model self-analysis and self-disclosure to the group to set the tone. Encourage acceptance and contract for confidentiality.
Review Questions
What are the 5 phases of the anger cycle?
Understanding Fight or Flight The Fight or Flight theory, formulated by Walter Cannon, describes how people react to perceived threat. Basically, when faced with something that can harm us, we either aggress (fight) or withdraw (flight). It is believed that this reaction is an ingrained instinct geared towards survival. The fight or flight instinct is manifested in bodily ways. When faced with a threat, our body releases the hormones adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol. These chemicals are designed to take us to a state of alertness and action. They result in increased energy, heart rate, slowed digestion, and above normal strength. Understanding the fight or flight instinct can help us understand the dynamics of our anger response. The following are some of the implications of the fight and flight theory on anger management:
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First, the theory underscores how anger is but a natural response. There is no morality to anger. Anger is a result of perceived harm to self, whether physical or emotional. Second, this theory reminds us of the need to stay in control. When we are angry, our rational self gets overridden by a basic survival instinct. There’s a need to act immediately. This instinct can then result in aggressiveness, over-reactivity, and hypervigilance, which are all contrary to rational and deliberate response. Conscious effort towards self-awareness and control is needed so that this instinct does not overpower us.
Estimated Time
10 minutes To understand the fight or flight theory.
Topic Objective
Topic Summary
To understand the implications of the fight or flight theory to anger management. The Fight or Flight theory describes how people either aggress (fight) or withdraw (flight) when faced with threats. The fight or flight response is accompanied by physiological reactions designed for alertness and action. This theory helps to realize that anger is an instinctive reaction, and conscious effort is needed so that it does not overpower us.
Recommended Activity
Ask the group for examples of “fight” and “flight” responses during anger. Flip chart
Materials Required Markers
Stories to Share
Animals also have this instinct. The importance of understanding this section is to be able to tap into that part of us that would stop us from acting like animals when faced with anger triggers.
Delivery Tips
Emphasize the implications of the fight and flight theory in anger management.
Review Questions
What happens to our bodies when we perceive a threat?
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Common Myths about Anger Here are five common myths about anger: 1. Anger is a bad emotion. There is no such thing as a good or bad emotion; they are instinctual reactions and we don’t make conscious decisions for them to come. In fact, some anger reactions are appropriate, such as the anger against discrimination, injustice, and abuse. What can be judged as positive or negative/ healthy or unhealthy is how we react to anger. 2. Anger needs to be ‘unleashed’ for it to go away. It’s true that anger needs to be expressed in order for symptoms to be relieved. However, expressing anger in verbally or physically aggressive ways are not the only way to ‘unleash’ anger. Nor is anger an excuse for a person to be aggressive. The expression of anger can be tempered by rationality and forethought. Note that venting anger does not necessarily results into the anger disappearing, although venting can relieve the symptoms. At times, processing personal experiences, seeing concrete change and genuine forgiveness are needed for anger to go away. 3. Ignoring anger will make it go away. Generally, all kinds of emotions do not disappear when ignored. The anger just gets temporarily shelved, and will likely find other ways of getting expressed. It can get projected to another person, transformed into a physical symptom, or built up for a bigger future blow up. Some of our behaviors may even be unconscious ways of expressing anger. While there are situations when it’s inadvisable to express your anger immediately, the very least you can do is acknowledge that it exists. 4. You can’t control your anger. This myth is related to the second one. As discussed earlier, the fight and flight instinct can make anger an overwhelming emotion. However, this instinct does not mean that you’re but a slave to your impulses. Awareness of anger dynamics and a conscious effort to rise above your anger can help you regain control of your reactions. 5. If I don’t get angry, people will think I am a pushover. It’s true that a person can lose credibility is he makes rules and then ignores violations. However, anger is not the only way a person can show that there are consequences to violations. In fact, the most effective way of instilling discipline in others is to have a calm, non-emotional approach to dealing with rule-breakers. Calm and rationality can communicate strength too.
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Estimated Time
10 minutes
Topic Objective
To list common misconceptions about anger and their refutations. Common myths about anger includes: 1. Anger is a bad emotion. 2. Anger needs to be ‘unleashed’ for it to go away.
Topic Summary 3. Ignoring anger will make it go away. 4. You can’t control your anger. 5. If I don’t get angry, people will think I’m a pushover. Flip chart Materials Required Marker Present each of the myths to the class in the form of a debatable question. Example: “Is anger a bad emotion?” Recommended Activity Solicit opinions and encourage a friendly group debate before providing the factual refutation of the myth. Delivery Tips
You may also solicit from the group other anger myths that they know.
Case Study Ever since he was a young boy, Jeff was known to have problems related to his anger management. He used to get angry on other children whenever they played with his toys or wouldn’t allow him to join a game. As no one tried to understand Jeff and his condition, he grew up with a short temper which cost him a lot in his life. Jeff lost a total of 3 jobs and started living on a pension in a home with poor conditions. One day, Jeff miraculously decided to approach people and ask for their advice. He thought that this way, he will be able to understand how anger works and help others get rid of theirs before it brought consequences. This way, Jeff learned a lot about the cycle of anger, its phases and also how to help others control it. He started working on building himself a career in this niche by taking courses and helping people whenever he had free time. This has provided him with a nice income, but also made people understand which aspects of anger management were myths and which were facts.
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Module Two: Review Questions 1. How many phases are there in the Cycle of Anger? a) b) c) d)
3 4 5 6
2. Once a person returns to a normal or adaptive phase, a new trigger cannot start the entire cycle all over again. a) True b) False 3. _______ or _______ describes how people react to a perceived threat. a) b) c) d)
Win or lose Run or hide Smile or frown Fight or flight
4. Anger is a result of perceived harm to self, whether physical or __________. a) b) c) d)
Real Emotional Negotiated Escalated
5. Which is not a common myth about anger? a) b) c) d)
Anger needs to be ‘unleashed’ for it to go away Ignoring anger will make it go away You can’t control your anger You can control your anger
6. Anger is never an appropriate reaction? a) True b) False
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How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. Marcus Aurelius
Module Three: Do’s and Don’ts Now that we’ve established that anger is a natural, unavoidable, and instinctual reaction, let’s look at how we can respond to anger appropriately. In this module, we will discuss the dos and don’ts in responding to anger.
Unhelpful Ways of Dealing with Anger The following are unhelpful ways of dealing with anger: 1. DON’T ignore the anger. Some people respond to anger by not admitting, even to themselves, that they are angry. Defense mechanisms often used to ignore anger include laughing an issue off, distracting one’s self from the problem, and trivializing the trigger’s impact. 2. DON’T keep the anger inside. There are people who do recognize that they’re angry. However, they choose to obsess about their anger in silence rather than express it. They can bear grudges for a long time. People like this, also called ‘stuffers’, are more likely to develop hypertension compared to others. They are also likely to just ‘explode’ one day, once the anger has built to the point that they can’t keep it inside anymore. 3. DON’T get aggressive. The right to vent your anger doesn’t extend to doing it in ways that can hurt others, hurt yourself, and damage property. Aggression can be verbal or physical. 4. DON’T get passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressiveness refers to indirect and underhanded means to get back at the person who made you angry. Examples of passive-aggressive behaviors are gossiping, tardiness and backbiting.
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5. DON’T use non-constructive communication styles. Avoid the use of indirect attacks and unproductive statements. These include blaming, labeling, preaching, moralizing, ordering, warning, interrogating, ridiculing and lecturing.
Estimated Time
10 minutes
Topic Objective
To present unhelpful ways of dealing with anger. Don’ts in dealing with anger include:
Topic Summary
Preparation Checklist
DON’T ignore the anger.
DON’T keep the anger inside.
DON’T be aggressive,
DON’T be passive-aggressive.
DON’T use non-constructive communication styles.
Make sure that you prepare enough materials, proportionate to the size of the group. Check the venue before the workshop to know the best place to post the large sheet(s) of paper. Flip chart
Materials Needed
Large sheets of paper (newsprint, manila paper or cartolina paper are fine; you may also opt to just use the writing board for this activity) Markers Tape (This activity can be the activity for both sections of this module: unhelpful ways of dealing with anger/ helpful ways of dealing with anger) Post large sheet(s) of paper on one wall of the conference hall. Provide several markers the group’s use.
Recommended Activity
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Give the group five minutes to write on the paper/ board as many ways of dealing with anger that they know. These can be things that they do themselves, or things they see others do. Encourage the group to write the first thing that comes to their mind and not to worry if their answer is a good strategy or a bad one.
Once everyone is done, the group can then pick out the ways of dealing with anger that they think are unhelpful. You can cross out these ways with a different colored marker. Encourage a discussion on why their choices may be unhelpful ways. Relate the principles to be discussed in this module to the examples of unhelpful ways of dealing with anger presented by the group. Delivery Tips Surface other unhelpful ways of dealing with anger not mentioned in this manual. Review Questions
Give three unhelpful ways of dealing with anger.
Helpful Ways of Dealing with Anger The following are helpful ways in dealing with anger: 1. DO acknowledge that you are angry. It is important that you know how to recognize that you are angry, and give yourself permission to feel it. This can be as simple as saying to yourself “I am angry.” Remember, you can’t control something you don’t admit exists! 2. DO calm yourself before you say anything. In the previous discussions, we saw how there is a biological reason why anger can feel overwhelming --- our body is engaged in a fight or flight response. It helps then to defer any reactions until you have reached the return to normal/ adaptive phase of the anger cycle. Otherwise, you might end up saying or doing something that you’d later regret. Count 1 to 10! 3. DO speak up, when something is important to you. This is the opposite to ‘keeping it all in.’ If a matter is important to you, so much so that keeping silent would just result in physical and mental symptoms, then let it out. If it’s not possible to speak to the person concerned, at least look for a trusted friend or a mental health professional. 4. DO explain how you’re feeling in a manner that shows ownership and responsibility for your anger. Take ownership and responsibility for your feelings. This makes the anger within your control (you can’t control other people). One way to take ownership and responsibility for your anger is through the use of I-messages, which would be discussed in a later module.
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Estimated Time
10 minutes
Topic Objective
To present helpful ways of dealing with anger. Do’s in dealing with anger include:
Topic Summary
DO acknowledge that you are angry.
DO calm yourself before you say anything.
DO speak up, when something is important to you.
Do explain what you’re feeling in a manner that shows personal responsibility for your anger.
Flip chart paper Materials Required Markers
Recommended Activity
From the previous activity, you already have a list of ways to deal with anger, with the unhelpful ones crossed out. This time, encircle all the remaining helpful ways of dealing with anger. Discuss with the group what makes these ways helpful. Relate the principles to be discussed in this module to the examples of unhelpful ways of dealing with anger presented by the group.
Delivery Tips Surface other helpful ways of dealing with anger not mentioned in this manual. Review Questions
Give 3 helpful ways of dealing with anger.
Case Study Unfortunate events happen all the times in most of our lives. This was also the case with Bella. After having to cope with a difficult family situation, she started to develop anger management issues which made her unable to build a career in a company. She used to get angry out of nothing and deal with her anger by trying to ignore it, keep it inside and trying to keep her calm, but these ideas only made her feel weaker. Fortunately, Bella managed to get out of this situation thanks to a colleague who thought her a few secrets in order to make sure that she won’t lose her job. This way, Bella learned to how to acknowledge that she is angry, but also how to calm herself and when to speak up. The tips helped make her regain control and respond to anger in the logical and correct way.
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Module Three: Review Questions 1. Ignoring anger is a helpful coping tool. a) True a) False 2. Being aggressive can be projected verbally or physically. a) True b) False 3. Saying to yourself “I am angry� is a simple way to acknowledge your anger. b) True c) False 4. Counting to 10 is not a useful way to try and calm down. a) True b) False
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END OF FREE PREVIEW FULL WORKSHOP AVAILABLE EXCLUSIVELY AT:
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