Assertiveness and Self-Confidence Instructor Guide
TABLE OF CONTENTS Preface ..............................................................................................................................................4 What is Courseware? ................................................................................................................................ 4 How Do I Customize My Course? .............................................................................................................. 4 Materials Required ................................................................................................................................... 6 Maximizing Your Training Power .............................................................................................................. 6 Module One: Getting Started .............................................................................................................8 Housekeeping Items.................................................................................................................................. 8 The Parking Lot ......................................................................................................................................... 9 Workshop Objectives ................................................................................................................................ 9 Pre-Assignment Review .......................................................................................................................... 10 Action Plans and Evaluations.................................................................................................................. 11 Module Two: What Does Self-Confidence Mean To You? .................................................................. 12 What is Assertiveness? ........................................................................................................................... 12 What is Self-Confidence? ........................................................................................................................ 14 The Four Styles ........................................................................................................................................ 16 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 18 Module Two: Review Questions.............................................................................................................. 19 Module Three: Obstacles to Our Goals ............................................................................................. 20 Types of Negative Thinking..................................................................................................................... 20 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 22 Personal Application ............................................................................................................................... 23 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 24 Module Three: Review Questions ........................................................................................................... 25
Module Four: Communication Skills ................................................................................................. 27 Listening and Hearing; They Aren’t the Same Thing .............................................................................. 27 Asking Questions .................................................................................................................................... 29 Body Language ....................................................................................................................................... 31 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 32 Module Four: Review Questions ............................................................................................................. 34 Module Five: The Importance of Goal Setting ................................................................................... 35 Why Goal Setting is Important ............................................................................................................... 35 Setting SMART Goals .............................................................................................................................. 37 Our Challenge to You .............................................................................................................................. 38 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 39 Module Five: Review Questions .............................................................................................................. 40 Module Six: Feeling the Part ............................................................................................................. 41 Identifying Your Worth ........................................................................................................................... 41 Creating Positive Self-Talk ...................................................................................................................... 42 Identifying and Addressing Strengths and Weaknesses ......................................................................... 44 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 46 Module Six: Review Questions ................................................................................................................ 47 Module Seven: Looking the Part ....................................................................................................... 49 The Importance of Appearance .............................................................................................................. 49 The Role of Body Language .................................................................................................................... 50 First Impressions Count........................................................................................................................... 52 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 53 Module Seven: Review Questions ........................................................................................................... 54 Module Eight: Sounding the Part ...................................................................................................... 55 It’s How You Say It .................................................................................................................................. 55
Sounding Confident................................................................................................................................. 57 Using “I” Messages ................................................................................................................................. 59 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 60 Module Eight: Review Questions ............................................................................................................ 61 Module Nine: Powerful Presentations .............................................................................................. 62 What to Do When You’re on the Spot .................................................................................................... 62 Using STAR to Make Your Case ............................................................................................................... 63 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 64 Module Nine: Review Questions ............................................................................................................. 65 Module Ten: Coping Techniques ....................................................................................................... 66 Building Rapport ..................................................................................................................................... 66 Expressing Disagreement ....................................................................................................................... 68 Coming to Consensus .............................................................................................................................. 69 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 71 Module Ten: Review Questions .............................................................................................................. 72 Module Eleven: Dealing with Difficult Behavior ................................................................................ 73 Dealing with Difficult Situations ............................................................................................................. 73 Key Tactics .............................................................................................................................................. 74 Case Study............................................................................................................................................... 76 Module Eleven: Review Questions .......................................................................................................... 77 Module Twelve: Wrapping Up .......................................................................................................... 79 Words from the Wise .............................................................................................................................. 79 Parking Lot .............................................................................................................................................. 79 Action Plans and Evaluations.................................................................................................................. 79
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. Chinese Proverb Preface What is Courseware? Welcome to Courseware.com, a completely new training experience! Our courseware packages offer you top-quality training materials that are customizable, user-friendly, educational, and fun. We provide your materials, materials for the student, PowerPoint slides, and a takehome reference sheet for the student. You simply need to prepare and train! Best of all, our courseware packages are created in Microsoft Office and can be opened using any version of Word and PowerPoint. (Most other word processing and presentation programs support these formats, too.) This means that you can customize the content, add your logo, change the color scheme, and easily print and e-mail training materials.
How Do I Customize My Course? Customizing your course is easy. To edit text, just click and type as you would with any document. This is particularly convenient if you want to add customized statistics for your region, special examples for your participants’ industry, or additional information. You can, of course, also use all of your word processor’s other features, including text formatting and editing tools (such as cutting and pasting). To remove modules, simply select the text and press Delete on your keyboard. Then, navigate to the Table of Contents, right-click, and click Update Field. You may see a dialog box; if so, click “Update entire table” and press OK.
(You will also want to perform this step if you add modules or move them around.) Page 4
If you want to change the way text looks, you can format any piece of text any way you want. However, to make it easy, we have used styles so that you can update all the text at once. If you are using Word 97 to 2003, start by clicking the Format menu followed by Styles and Formatting. In Word 2007 and 2010 under the Home tab, right-click on your chosen style and click Modify. That will then produce the Modify Style options window where you can set your preferred style options. For example, if we wanted to change our Heading 1 style, used for Module Titles, this is what we would do:
Now, we can change our formatting and it will apply to all the headings in the document. For more information on making Word work for you, please refer to Word 2007 or 2010 Essentials by Courseware.com.
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Materials Required All of our courses use flip chart paper and markers extensively. (If you prefer, you can use a whiteboard or chalkboard instead.) We recommend that each participant have a copy of the Training Manual, and that you review each module before training to ensure you have any special materials required. Worksheets and handouts are included within a separate activities folder and can be reproduced and used where indicated. If you would like to save paper, these worksheets are easily transferrable to a flip chart paper format, instead of having individual worksheets. We recommend these additional materials for all workshops:
Laptop with projector, for PowerPoint slides
Quick Reference Sheets for students to take home
Timer or watch (separate from your laptop)
Masking tape
Blank paper
Maximizing Your Training Power We have just one more thing for you before you get started. Our company is built for trainers, by trainers, so we thought we would share some of our tips with you, to help you create an engaging, unforgettable experience for your participants.
Make it customized. By tailoring each course to your participants, you will find that your results will increase a thousand-fold.
Use examples, case studies, and stories that are relevant to the group.
Identify whether your participants are strangers or whether they work together. Tailor your approach appropriately.
Different people learn in different ways, so use different types of activities to balance it all out. (For example, some people learn by reading, while others learn by talking about it, while still others need a hands-on approach. For more information, we suggest Experiential Learning by David Kolb.) Make it fun and interactive. Most people do not enjoy sitting and listening to someone else talk for hours at a time. Make use of the tips in this book and your own experience to keep your participants engaged. Mix up the activities to include individual work, small group work, large group discussions, and mini-lectures. Page 6
Make it relevant. Participants are much more receptive to learning if they understand why they are learning it and how they can apply it in their daily lives. Most importantly, they want to know how it will benefit them and make their lives easier. Take every opportunity to tie what you are teaching back to real life. Keep an open mind. Many trainers find that they learn something each time they teach a workshop. If you go into a training session with that attitude, you will find that there can be an amazing two-way flow of information between the trainer and trainees. Enjoy it, learn from it, and make the most of it in your workshops. And now, time for the training!
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Learning is not a spectator sport. D. Blocher Module One: Getting Started Welcome to the Assertiveness and Self-Confidence workshop. Assertiveness and self-confidence are comprised of important interpersonal communications skills and traits that can be learned and practiced. This workshop will provide you with many tips, techniques, and opportunities to try out your own skills.
Housekeeping Items Take a few moments to cover basic housekeeping items.
If you need an opening or a way to introduce the participants to each other, utilize the Icebreakers folder to begin or between breaks during the day.
Let participants know where they can find washrooms, break facilities, and fire exits.
Ask participants to turn off their cell phones or at least turn them to vibrate. If they must take a call, request that they do it outside.
Take this time to encourage the group to ask questions and make this an interactive workshop.
Write the words Respect, Confidentiality, and Practice on a piece of flip chart paper and tape it to the wall. Explain to participants that in order to get the most out of this workshop, we must all work together, listen to each other, explore new ideas, and make mistakes. After all, that’s how we learn!
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The Parking Lot Explain the concept of The Parking Lot to participants.
The Parking Lot is a visible place where you will “park” ideas that arise which are not on the agenda, may be off topic, or are better addressed outside of the program.
At the end of the session, we will review parked ideas and follow up, or make suggestions for your own investigation when you are back at work.
Suggestions for the trainer: 1. If you are working with a large group of participants, you may wish to nominate a recorder to park items as you are facilitating. 2. It’s a good idea to note the name of the contributor along with the parked item. 3. Items noted on the parking lot can be useful to you later as you plan future training sessions.
Workshop Objectives Research has consistently demonstrated that when clear goals are associated with learning, the learning occurs more easily and rapidly. With that in mind, let’s review our goals for today. By the end of this workshop, you should be able to:
Define assertiveness and self-confidence, and list the four styles of communication
Describe the types of negative thinking, and how one can overcome negative thoughts
Explain the difference between listening and hearing, and understand the importance of body language and questioning skills in communication
Define the importance of goal setting, and practice setting SMART goals for assertive behavior
Utilize methodologies for understanding your worth -- and the use of positive self-talk
List reasons why a pleasing appearance and body language are critical for creating a strong first impression
Practice sending positive communications phrased as “I-Messages”
Use the STAR model to make your case during a presentation challenge
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Display rapport-building skills through assertive methods of expressing disagreement and consensus-building techniques
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Practice strategies for gaining positive outcomes in difficult interpersonal situations.
Pre-Assignment Review The purpose of the Pre-Assignment is to get participants thinking about their current feelings in regards to their assertiveness and confidence. You will also find a Pre-Assignment handout in the Activities folder. Describe an event where you found yourself being assertive and confident. _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ Describe an event where you were not assertive or confident and in hind sight feel that you should have been. _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________
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Action Plans and Evaluations Explain the action plan to participants: During this course, you will be adding ideas to your personal action plan. The plan uses the SMART system. This means that your goals must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Pass out the participant action plans and evaluations, available in the activities folder. Ask participants to fill these out throughout the day as they learn new things and have ideas on how to incorporate the things we discuss into their lives.
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Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others. Leib Lazarow Module Two: What Does Self-Confidence Mean To You? Self-confidence plays an important role in our everyday lives. Being confident allows us to set and reach our goals. It provides stability when we are faced with a challenge; it gives us that push that helps us overcome difficulties. Self-confidence is necessary in our personal and professional lives, as without it one would not be successful in either. It gives us the ability to stand up to face our challenges and to pick ourselves up when we fall.
What is Assertiveness? An assertive person is confident and direct in dealing with others. Assertive communications promote fairness and equality in human interactions, based on a positive sense of respect for self and others. It is the direct communication of a person’s needs, wants, and opinions without punishing, threatening, or putting down another person. Assertive behavior includes the ability to stand up for a person’s legitimate rights – without violating the rights of others or being overly fearful in the process. A skill that can be learned, assertive behavior is situational specific; meaning different types of assertive behavior can be used in different situations. Assertive behavior involves three categories of skills; self-affirmation, expressing positive feelings, and expressing negative feelings. Each will be explored during this course.
Estimated Time
15 minutes
Topic Objective
To appreciate the value in oneself and others as a first step toward practicing assertiveness
Topic Summary
Know Yourself
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The ability to be assertive, rather than aggressive or passive, comes from understanding that as a person, you have value. This exercise helps participants understand how they see themselves and others. Materials Required
Paper and pens
Planning Checklist
None Provide paper to each participant. Ask everyone to:
Draw a self-portrait. (Explain to reluctant participants that this is not an art contest.)
Turn the paper over and write five words they would use to accurately describe themselves. Encourage them to use the first five words that come to mind
Divide participants into groups of four. Tell group members to:
Show their drawings to each other
Ask them to pay particular attention to things like how much space the drawing takes up -- or whether positive or negative words were used in the description.
Once they have looked at other people's drawings, ask everyone to analyze their own work and share any insights with the group.
Have group members post their pictures on the wall.
Ask everyone spend a moment writing something positive on each picture.
Conclude the exercise by allowing members time to read the positive statements other people have written about them.
Recommended Activity
In debrief, ask: How do you feel when you see positive words, as opposed to negative words?
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What is Self-Confidence? Self-confidence is a belief in oneself, one's abilities, or one's judgment. It is freedom from doubt. When you believe you can change things -- or make a difference in a situation, you are much more likely to succeed. As a self-confident person, you walk with a bounce in your step. You can control your thoughts and emotions and influence others. You are more prepared to tackle everyday challenges and recover from setbacks. This all leads to a greater degree of optimism and life satisfaction.
Estimated Time
10 minutes
Topic Objective
To identify self-confidence actions and behaviors in a classic poem about assertiveness “If”
Topic Summary
The Rudyard Kipling poem “if” offers a number of tenets for assertive behavior. In this exercise, we ask participants to list 3-5 behaviors described in the poem that foster self-confidence. Handout One: “if” by Rudyard Kipling
Materials Required Flip chart paper and markers Planning Checklist
None Divide participants into groups of four. Provide the handout to each participant. Tell the groups to read the Kipling poem.
Recommended Activity
Ask each group to list on flip chart paper 3-5 behaviors (in modern day language) that we can take from the Kipling poem as best practices to foster self-confidence. Reconvene the large group. In debrief:
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Compare findings among groups.
Ask: What are some of the challenges of behaving with selfconfidence in today’s world?
An electrician went to a life coach: Coach: What stops you noticing all the opportunities around you? Electrician: Fear of failure Coach: What would you like instead? Electrician: Confidence Coach: What stops you feeling confident? Electrician: Fear of failure Coach: What would you like instead? Electrician: Confidence Coach: Notice the loop? Now can I ask you - do you really want to change? Stories to Share
Electrician: Yes I want to. I want the confidence to make the changes Coach: OK. SO imagine 3 light bulbs screwed into a board with a common cable. The first one is a 10 watt, second 100 watt, and third 1000 watt bulb. What bulb is the brightest? Electrician: The third one Coach: If the same cable brings equal power to each socket, what's the difference? Electrician: Electrical resistance - ah, I see it is me that is resisting opportunity. Coach: Life, like electricity consists of pure energy. It flows through all is us equally. There is no end to this supply - only you can cut it off through resistance. Stop blaming external factors and accept full responsibility for your actions. Source:http://mabelandharry.blogspot.com/2007/02/lesson-on-selfconfidence.html
Review Questions
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Let’s list three behaviors of self-confidence.
The Four Styles There are four styles of communication: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. The Passive Person Passive behavior is the avoidance of the expression of opinions or feelings, protecting one’s rights, and identifying and meeting one’s needs. Passive individuals exhibit poor eye contact and slumped body posture, and tend to speak softly or apologetically. Passive people express statements implying that:
“I’m unable to stand up for my rights.”
“I don’t know what my rights are.”
“I get stepped on by everyone."
“I’m weak and unable to take care of myself.”
“People never consider my feelings.”
The Aggressive Person An aggressive individual communicates in a way that violates the rights of others. Thus, aggressive communicators are verbally or physically abusive, or both. Aggressive communication is born of low selfesteem, often caused by past physical or emotional abuse, unhealed emotional wounds, and feelings of powerlessness. Aggressive individuals display a low tolerance for frustration, use humiliation, interrupt frequently, and use criticism or blame to attack others. They use piercing eye contact, and are not good listeners. Aggressive people express statements implying that:
The other person is inferior, wrong, and not worth anything
The problem is the other person’s fault
They are superior and right
They will get their way regardless of the consequences
They are entitled, and that the other person “owes” them.
The Passive-Aggressive Person The passive-aggressive person uses a communication style in which the individual appears passive on the surface, but is really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way.
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Passive-aggressive people usually feel powerless, stuck, and resentful. Alienated from others, they feel incapable of dealing directly with the object of their resentments. Rather, they express their anger by subtly undermining the real or imagined object of their resentments. Frequently they mutter to themselves instead of confronting another person. They often smile at you, even though they are angry, use subtle sabotage, or speak with sarcasm. Passive-aggressive individuals use communication that implies:
“I’m weak and resentful, so I sabotage, frustrate, and disrupt.”
“I’m powerless to deal with you head on so I must use guerilla warfare.”
“I will appear cooperative, but I’m not.”
The Assertive Person An assertive individual communicates in a way that clearly states his or her opinions and feelings, and firmly advocates for his or her rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication is born of high self-esteem. Assertive people value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. They are strong advocates for themselves -- while being very respectful of the rights of others. Assertive people feel connected to other people. They make statements of needs and feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully. Feeling in control of themselves, they speak in calm and clear tones, are good listeners, and maintain good eye contact. They create a respectful environment for others, and do not allow others to abuse or manipulate them. The assertive person uses statements that imply:
“I am confident about who I am.”
“I cannot control others, but I control myself.”
“I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.”
“I know I have choices in my life, and I consider my options. I am fully responsible for my own happiness.”
“We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”
Estimated Time
15 minutes
Topic Objective
To practice identifying statements as aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, or assertive
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What Type Communication? Topic Summary
It takes practice to learn to discriminate the differences between the four communication types. This exercise gives individuals that opportunity is safe, small group environment
Materials Required
Worksheet One: What Type Communication?
Planning Checklist
None Divide participants into groups of four and distribute the worksheet.
Recommended Activity
Ask groups to review the situations in statements and then classify each aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, or assertive. (Answers to the exercises are provided below.) In debrief, discuss the responses to the exercises with the large group:
Review Questions
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How difficult was it to evaluate the communication type for each statement?
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How can an understanding of the four communication types help you at work, or elsewhere?
Remind participants to consider adding an item to their action plan.
Case Study It seems that today, many people who are used to saying yes are taken for granted, and used by other people. Steven had to live with the idea for 20 years which he spent working at a job he did not enjoy and for people who he did not like at all. He never said no to anyone, until an event changed the way he thought. At work, a new person was hired who was extremely confident and knew how to say no without feeling ashamed. This idea quickly brought him up the ladder and he became a chief in no time. Steven took the idea and started to improve his self-confidence which granted him a good belief in his abilities and judgment. In the end, Steven managed to know when to accept to do something and when to say no, which improved his life a lot.
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Module Two: Review Questions 1) Which of the following is not a skill involved by assertive behavior? a) b) c) d)
Self-affirmation Aggressive imposing opinion on others Expressing positive feelings Expressing negative feelings
2) Which of the following statements IS NOT true? a) b) c) d)
Assertive communications promote fairness and equality in human interactions Assertive behavior includes the ability to stand up for a person’s legitimate rights Assertive behavior can be learned Assertive behavior is universal and the same for every situation
3) Self-confidence is freedom from: a) b) c) d)
Fears Other people Doubt Anxiety
4) Who wrote the poem “If”? a) b) c) d)
Rudyard Kipling Walt Whitman TS Eliot Emily Dickinson
5) Which of the following is not a type of communication? a) b) c) d)
Passive Aggressive Assertive Passive – assertive
6) Which of the following statements IS NOT true? a) An assertive individual communicates in a way that clearly states his or her opinions and feelings b) Assertive people feel connected to other people c) Assertive people are manipulators d) Assertive people maintain good eye contact
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If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. Frank A. Clark Module Three: Obstacles to Our Goals Obstacles are encountered every day of our lives, but what we do and how we react during these events will determine the outcomes of such events. Our reactions to these obstacles will determine if the situation becomes a minor annoyance to a major event. Over reacting to a small annoyance can magnify the issue and make larger than it actually is. These are the types of reactions that should be kept in check, what is an appropriate response to each obstacle that we encounter? Like many things the obstacle will determine the response.
Types of Negative Thinking Negative thinking is the process of thinking negative rather than positive thoughts. Seemingly, positive thinking requires effort while negative thinking is uninvited and happens easily. A person who has been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where people value success and self-improvement will have a much easier time thinking positively. One who was brought up in a poor or difficult situation will probably continue to expect difficulties and failure. Negative thoughts center on the individual, others, and the future. Negative thinking causes problems such as depression, pessimism, and anxiety. Typical types of negative thinking are described below.
Type of Thinking Overgeneralization
As the thinker, you: Make a general universal rule from one isolated event
Global labeling
Automatically use disparaging labels to describe yourself
Filtering
Pay attention selectively to the negative, disregarding the positive
Polarized thinking
Group things into absolute, black and white categories, assuming that you must be perfect or you are worthless
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Self-blame
Persistently blame yourself for things that may not be your fault
Personalization
Assume that everything has something to do with you, negatively comparing yourself to everyone else
Mind reading
Feel that people don't like you or are angry with you, without any real evidence
Control fallacies
Feel that you have total responsibility for everybody and everything, or that you have no control as a helpless victim
Emotional reasoning
Believe that things are the way you feel about them
Estimated Time
15 minutes
Topic Objective
To analyze types of negative thinking and write rebuttals Negative to Positive
Topic Summary
This exercise provides several negative self-statements, asks participants to classify their types, and asks for possible rebuttals to the thoughts.
Materials Required
Worksheet Two: Rebuttals to Negative Thinking
Planning Checklist
None Divide participants into groups of four and distribute the worksheet. Tell participants to:
Recommended Activity

Read each negative self-statement

Identify the type of negative thinking

Create a possible rebuttal to combat it.
In debrief, compare results. (See possible answers below.) Review Questions
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Why is it more difficult for people to produce positive than negative statements?
Case Study The following case study will help participants analyze obstacles to a person's ability to reach a goal. Joe Smith has been a lawyer at Big City Law Firm for six years. He is a high performer, and has been told that he will be up for partner at the firm within the next twelve months. Sue Smith has worked for five years as a financial analyst at Neighboring Town Manufacturing Company, receiving excellent performance reviews. She is well thought of by her peers and has willingly taken on some sticky special projects in the past two years. Joe and Sue have two children, a boy in fifth grade at the local elementary school, and an eighth grade daughter at Magnet Junior High School in Big City. Sue has the major responsibility for the children’s transportation, extracurricular activities, and medical appointments. When the accounting manager recently announced he was leaving the company to live a green life in Colorado, Sue was encouraged by the Chief Financial Officer to submit a job bid for the manager’s position. Excited about the opportunity, Sue shared the news that evening with Joe. He said to her: “How do you know you can perform that job with your experience?” “Who will look after the kids while you’re stuck at work late into the evening solving last-minute accounting problems?” “Don’t I make enough money to support this family without you having to be away from home, the kids, and me even more?” Sue knows that Joe is the breadwinner, and she is reluctant to assert herself. Help Sue out by writing some assertive statements that she can make to Joe in support of her goal of gaining a promotion to manager.
Estimated Time
15 minutes
Topic Objective
To brainstorm responses to negative statements that reflect obstacles to a goal Sue’s Replies
Topic Summary
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The groups are asked to write positive or rebuttal statements to three negative statements made by a spouse who objects to his partner’s work
opportunity Handout Two: Sue’s Replies Materials Required Flip chart paper and markers for groups Planning Checklist
None Divide participants into groups of four and distribute the handout. Ask the groups to read the case and to review Joe’s statements to Sue. Tell participants to write an assertive response to each statement on their flip chart paper.
Recommended Activity
Reconvene the large group and post the flip-charted results. In debrief, read each statement in order, asking a spokesperson from each group to share their replies and any rationale used to write them. Compare results. Pay attention to the language used by each group. If themes develop, point them out to the group.
Review Questions
What consequences might Sue have if she doesn’t respond assertively to Joe?
Personal Application We all have situations in our personal lives where the ability to be assertive helps us achieve our goals. Now we'll each practice the opportunity to develop assertive responses. Standing up for yourself will translate into success throughout your personal and professional lives. It will help grow a person's self-confidence, and make the challenges that we encounter every day that much more easily to overcome.
Estimated Time
10 minutes
Topic Objective
To develop assertive responses to non-assertive interpersonal communication
Topic Summary
Stand Up for Yourself! Two interpersonal scenarios are provided along with communication from
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the other person that is not necessarily assertive. The participants’ task is to write assertive responses appropriate to the situation. Some participants may prefer to create their own scenario. A blank format is provided for that. Materials Required
Worksheet Three: Stand Up!
Planning Checklist
None Distribute the worksheet to participants, who will work individually on this assignment. Explain that 2 situations are provided, or participants can choose to write their own third situation based on their unique life experiences.
Recommended Activity
Ask him to read the situation, review the statements made by the other party, and write assertive responses. In debrief, ask participants:
Review Questions

How did you feel another person trying to deflect or subvert your goals?

How did writing assertive responses make you feel empowered with respect to your own rights?
How can you find ways to practice assertive communication as you go through day to day living?
Case Study Every day, many of us face obstacles which appear whenever we try to fulfil our goals. Whether a person aims at getting a promotion of making a successful change in his life, there are certain tips which need to be kept in mind that have been designed to overcome obstacles. Maria was a pessimist person who always thought that the world was working against her. Her negative thinking mad her lose a lot of things. This continued to happen until Maria suddenly decided that perhaps the problem was her pessimism, so she tried her best to turn it into optimism. This way, her abilities of reaching a goal also improved after a bit of time. Maria began to tell others what to do and to take each new step with the belief that everything will turn out to be alright.
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Module Three: Review Questions 1) Recognize the type of thinking based on the followings statement: As the thinker, you believe that things are the way you feel about them. a) b) c) d)
Personalization Emotional reasoning Mind reading Global labeling
2) Recognize the filtering type of thinking: a) As the thinker, you pay attention selectively to the negative, disregarding the positive b) As the thinker, you c) As the thinker, you group things into absolute, black and white categories, assuming that you must be perfect or you are worthless d) As the thinker, you feel that you have total responsibility for everybody and everything 3) Which of the following is an obstacle Sue has to face with on her way to a new job? a) b) c) d)
Her lack of experience Her responsibilities with the kids The fact that her husband earns enough money The fact that her husband does not give her support
4) Why is Sue reluctant to assert herself? a) b) c) d)
Because she thinks she does not deserve the new job Because her husband is the breadwinner Because she feels bad for neglecting her responsibilities with the kids Because she really agrees with her husband
5) Which of the following statements IS NOT true? a) Standing up for yourself will translate into success throughout your personal and professional lives b) Assertiveness is practical only for professional life c) Assertiveness will help you build your self-confidence d) Assertiveness will help you overcome the everyday challenges 6) Which of the following statements is true? a) b) c) d) Page 25
Assertive people are usually too aggressive in communication Assertiveness often brings trouble as well We all have situations where the ability to be assertive helps us achieve our goals None of the above
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