Getting older has many little daily surprises

I’m getting older... and as they say “that’s better than the alternative.”

But I have a little beef with all of those who aged before me. There are a few things that you failed to tell me about that would have been very helpful. Now I knew some things were coming.

I saw my grandmamma’s breasts taking up her lap space when she sat down. I saw old men walking around with their mustaches growing down from their nostrils and their ear hair growing out and joining their sideburns. But, there is oh so much more.

I sigh now. I sigh. For no apparent reason. I’ll be sitting there and say, “Oh Lordy.” I do this more than once or twice a day – like when I sit ... when I stand ... when I am just contemplating my day. It just comes out. What does that even mean?? I can remember my grandmamma doing the same thing.

Am I now channeling her aged spirit?

I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night without having to go to the bathroom. Two and three times a night is no longer unusual. At least I can still hit the toilet. What is it about older men and losing their aim?!?! I swear, there are times I walk in there after him and I am not sure anything actually went in.

And oh my goodness ... don’t dare sneeze or cough with a full bladder. I haven’t wet myself since I was 2. Nope, can’t say that anymore! Depends are beginning to look like an excellent wardrobe choice. They come in purple now, you know.

My teeth are beginning to crack or fall out. It’s not just me. When I get together with friends my same age, having to go to the dentist stories are only second to the weekly doctor appointments for everything!

Senior Living Advice

with BETH DOW, Geriatric Care Manager

Everything hurts, or aches or burns and when you ask your doctor about it – what does he say? “Well, you know you are getting older?”

I strained my back and couldn’t hardly move for a week, putting on my bra!!! Come on!

And where did my eyebrows go? They used to be there. I used to have to pluck (and yes we plucked) those suckers. One nicely formed unibrow. But no more. Now, I have to pencil those babies in. I can remember dropping something on the floor and picking it up immediately. Not anymore. Now if I drop something, I sit and look at it and ponder if at a later time there will be something else on the floor that will also have to be picked up. Or, if it is actually hurting anything by being on the floor. Some things just aren’t worth the effort. And everything I eat makes me burp! What is that about? Tums has become one of my major food groups. I could go on and on, but I think I need a nap. I nap now also. Oh Lordy!

Beth Dow is a Dementia and Alzheimer’s Educator, CAEd and Geriatric Care Manager. She is also the owner of Home Helpers of GA & AL in Newnan. Readers can contact her by email at bdow@ homehelpershomecare.com.