C Q #5 | AN INDIE POWERED PUBLICATION!
BLANK SPACE An in-depth look at the writer’s block!
INDIEPRETATION Malaysia’s indie publishers speak out
LEFT SPEECHLESS A moment in New York!
FOUND IN TRANSLATION The trials and tribulations of translating texts!
WAXING LYRICAL The rhythm and hues of lyric writing!
STRUCTURING STORIES Usurping La Usurpadora
LAUNCHING RPG Interviewing the creators of Missing Seasons!
SELAMAT PAGI, CIKGU A chat with Hassan Muthalib
BEHIND THE SEEN" Four film writers discuss the scene in Malaysia
RAWK AND ROLL We trawl through Banana Punk Rawk Trails
MIGHTIER" THAN" SWORDS THE POWER OF THE WRITTEN WORD
#2 | CQ MAGAZINE | 29
EDITORIAL NOTE! Editorial Board Where else to begin but at the start? My father always said that there can be no writing without reading. The themes we come up with for each issue of CQ can be little more than nomenclature that serves as a guiding light for those who need it; there will be articles related to them, but that’s not to say that we would completely discount something that doesn’t overtly fit in. Covertly, though, writing is a theme that encapsulates all. When we write, we are essentially mirroring our thoughts on paper (or screen). This process is a useful one, something that helps to remind us how we are communicating not only with others, but also with ourselves. Going beyond its linkage to the thought process, it is also the starting point for almost everything. The essence of films, for example, can certainly be traced to the written word found on the script. At the same time, music and lyrics are difficult to replicate in time and tune, without relying on notations made on the music sheet. Even in less obvious scenarios, writing remains integral to many things, from cooking (we’d be eternal guinea pigs without recipes) to the formation of buildings (it’s difficult to build them without blueprints). In this issue, we present to you a diverse world of words, ranging from submissions on the importance of lyrics to the tough task of translating different languages. We have interviewed not one
or two, but five different film writers, all of whom have valuable perspectives on the Malaysian film criticism scene. There’s also an interview with the creators of the visual novel Missing Seasons. A new contributor digs deep into her past, tracing the starting point of her love for the artist who painted millions of words, Affandi. Speaking of the past, we also tracked down a recording of a discussion on independent publishing in Malaysia. Though not exactly new, the concerns and issues for alternative book publishers remain fresh and current. Of course, our staple diet of short stories and poems is also here. And I haven’t even mentioned the piece on the infamous writer’s block, as well as the 13 writers who unblock it in their own ways. All of this adds up to our biggest issue yet, with over 60 pages packed with quality. If it is true that reading begets writing, it is my sincere hope that not only do you do justice to the efforts of the writers here by reading them, but also by expressing your own story, regardless of whether it’s with the written word or not. Let the ink flow, people.# FIKRI JERMADI EDITOR IN CHIEF
EDITORS IN CHIEF FIKRI JERMADI WANI ARDY
EDITOR AT LARGE EZZAH MAHMUD
SUB EDITORS AISYAH EZRAL AMANDA HO SZE YIN# DEA ISHAK JAZELIA JASMENE# NURUL ISMAWI SHEMSI ELSANI# SITI NOORAIN
CONTRIBUTORS ASTRID BESTARI# EMILLIO DANIEL# EZZAH MAHMUD# HASSAN MUTHALIB# MAYA SAPIURKA# MEERA SUPRAMANIAM# NATALIE CHIN# NAZIRA ZIYANA# NURUL ISMAWI SABAH CARRIM# SHEMSI ELSANI# SITI NOORAIN TANG MEI SAN# WANI ARDY# ZAIDAH Z#
LAYOUT DESIGNER ADI ISKANDAR
FRONT COVER TOSHIYUKI IMAI / FLICKR
CQ Magazine is an indie powered e-publication for creative explorations adhering to a high standard of professional writing and journalism. The opinions of contributors do not necessarily represent the views of CQ Magazine. Design inspired by Swedish Film magazine. Licensed under Creative Commons.
cqmalaysia.blogspot.com
@cqmalaysia
cqmalaysia@gmail.com
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 1
CONTENTS!
IMAGE: EAST-WEST CENTER / FLICKR!
48 IMAGE: MARK NOTARI / FLICKR!
15
52 IMAGE: PHOTOSTEVE101 / FLICKR!
33 IMAGE: A.OTGE / FLICKR!
IMAGE: ELVIS KENNEDY / FLICKR!
24 2 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
8 IMAGE: WAZARI WAZIR / FLICKR!
3 THE LONG HUG MEERA SUPRAMANIAM! 4 WET, WILD AND WONDERFUL WANI ARDY! 8 CANVASSING EMOTIONS ASTRID BESTARI! ! 11 A SAD LITTLE BOY SHEMSI ELSANI! 12 ON REALITY SABAH CARRIM! 15 MAINSTREAMING THE FRINGE ADI ISKANDAR AND ZAIDAH Z! ! 20 NARRATOLOGY AND STRUCTURE IN LA USURPADORA NAZIRA ZIYANA! 24 WRITTEN SOMETIME IN 97 MEERA SUPRAMANIAM! 26 PLAYING THE GAME EMILLIO DANIEL AND NATALIE CHIN! ! 30 FROM ACADEMIC TO EPIC NURUL ISMAWI! 33 LIRIK MENYELAMATKAN AKU WANI ARDY! 37 ADA APA DENGAN PENTERJEMAHAN EZZAH MAHMUD! ! 40 WRITERS ON WRITING FIKRI JERMADI! 44 REAL FILM CRITICISM CANNOT BE TAUGHT HASSAN MUTHALIB! 48 BEYOND WORDS TANG MEI SAN! ! 50 COMING UP BLANK MAYA SAPIURKA! 52 ATTACK THE BLOCK COLLAGE! 56 SHIBBOLETH SITI NOORAIN! ! 60 HOPELESSNESS SHEMSI ELSANI !
POETRY MEERA SUPRAMANIAM
The Long Hug TEXT: MEERA SUPRAMANIAM! IMAGE: ALLAN BERGMAN / FLICKR!
The long hug,# Of forgotten memories,# Reawakened,# The sharing of the missing,# Of the years that have gone by,# Of the gladness of the meeting,# Of the why haven´t we done this sooner.# # It´s so good to hold you now,# To know, we´re here... today. First published on 12 July 2008 ! (areem-12july2008.blogspot.com).
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 3
REVIEW WANI ARDY
Wet, Wild and Wonderful The Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon at Sunway Lagoon reconnected Wani Ardy with her childhood IMAGE: WANI ARDY!
The last time I went to Sunway Lagoon was probably when I was 15. Growing up in Subang Jaya, it had always been the place where my friends and I would spend our school holidays at, and also where I would bring my cousins to when they came to visit. Basically it was one of those ways for me to look cool and to impress my relatives so that they will have something to brag about when they balik kampung. Then years passed by, and this Subang girl slowly turned into a busy woman, tied to responsibilities and commitments. I am lucky, though, as I am married to a guy who is forever young at heart (in the sense that he watches cartoons almost every night!), and my son Ikhlas is just one super active boy who does not stay put. So imagine our excitement when we found out that Asia's first Nickelodeon themed land has opened at Sunway Lagoon. Time for us to have fun! We arrived early evening when the weather was hot and sunny. Surprisingly we didn't feel as hot because the lagoon was full of shady trees and monumental stones. True to its name - the Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon - this hidden ten acres of lush tropical sanctuary is a perfect one-day getaway for our family from the hustle bustle of the city. It has everything from waterslide rides, retail shops, games, food service establishments and more. You know how huge Sunway Lagoon is; there's no way you can experience all attractions in a single day. So I simply love the fact that it's realistic and possible for me to cover everything at the Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon. Money-worthy! Needless to say, the Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon became my favourite section of the theme park. We didn't need to go anywhere else! We
actually took the little train twice to check out other sections but we went back to the Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon because it was more fun and less crowded! Based on first impressions, the Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon has already won the hearts of my family. With famous prime characters such as SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora the Explorer and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it's no wonder that my boys loved it in an instant. My husband has always been a big fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles since he was a little kid, while my son just adores SpongeBob SquarePants. I bet if I had a daughter she'd love Dora the Explorer! Okay, fine, that's another story. My point is, there's something for everyone. The Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon turned out to be not just another kiddie pool. Thank God, because honestly in the beginning this was my worry. Instead, it caters to all ages, and has a lot more to offer. If you're not a fan of cartoon characters, the attractions are still awesome for you to explore. Being a parent, I've always felt disappointed going to theme parks (or funfairs, or carnivals) because the majority of the rides are either suitable for adults or kids. The Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon, however, has a nice balance of both, which I think is important so that nobody feels left out. We managed to try every single slide there was, from the Jungle Fury, a ride which fit our whole family, to the Primeval, which brought us sliding through the sights of nature. The Monsoon 360 gave my husband and I a great adrenaline rush, #5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 5
I should thank my son. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't care about chilling out
REVIEW WANI ARDY before we experienced the drop-andreverse free-fall that is the Kubarango. Finally, the Wild Chase Coaster took us on a speeding-twisting-turning journey before a final big whooping splash. Slides and coasters are my favourites forever, which I secretly took pleasure in a little bit more than my screaming boys! Don't fancy intense rides? Don't worry, there are lots of beautiful attractions and interesting adventures in the rainforest surrounded by relaxing waterfalls, ponds, bridges, rivers, hills, and trails. Hippo Valley, Marimari Rapids, Moolalah Adventure River, and Explorers Trail are safe and suitable for visitors with different preferences. My 4 year-old had the best of his time at the SpongeBob Splash Adventure and the Splish Splash. It was where most of the children were playing. This massive tribal fort of SpongeBob
SquarePants seems to be the centre piece of the lagoon and is packed with soaking slides, wild showers, and water cannons, making it the kids' favourite. I was surprised by how much I actually enjoyed riding every slide here with Ikhlas! Not your typical, boring kiddie pool indeed. After about five to six hours of fully-loaded amusement at the Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon, we all went home smiling and satisfied. Tired but very much contented. It was a great outing for our family and I haven't felt that way in such a long time. To be frank, I used to love cartoons. I lived for Saturdays, even if it meant getting a spank from my mom for watching the telly instead of completing my homework. I used to love going to parks and having a good time in the pool. I was a water baby. I could swim before I could walk. I don't know where did that part of me gone to.
I should thank my son. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't care about chilling out, about taking some time off, about doing fun stuff. It's like being reborn, you know? Or if that sounds too dramatic, it's like rediscovering yourself. Rewind and reflect. It's amazing how sometimes I think I'm going insane being a mom and trying to achieve all these ambitions in life, but at the same time being a mom also ensures that I stay sane. I guess my son is my teacher in so many ways. I am blessed. Nickelodeon Lost Lagoon opens to the public on 3 February 2016. Enjoy the many attractions on offer at RM150 for those aged 12 years and above, and RM120 for those below the age of 12 years. More information can be obtained at Sunway Lagoon’s Facebook page (fb.com/ sunwaylagoonmalaysia).
IMAGE: WANI ARDY!
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 7
FEATURE ASTRID BESTARI
Canvassing " Emotions
Astrid Bestari connects with the emotional bond # found in the works of Indonesian artist Affandi IMAGE: EAST-WEST CENTER / FLICKR!
When I was 5 years old, my mother introduced me to the world of paintings. She had art collector friends and would occasionally take me along with her to visit museums and art galleries. These events made me fall in love with the world of fine art, as I came across various painters ranging from the likes of Don Antonio Blanco and Adrien-Jean Le Mayeur to Van Gogh and Monet. Few can compare, though, to the moment I saw Affandi’s artwork.# #
Affandi’s actual journey in becoming a painter started right after he joined Kelompok Lima Bandung, a collective with other Indonesian painters such as Hendra Gunawan, Barli Sasmitawinata, Sudarso and Wahdi Sumanta. He studied art at Tagore University in Shantiniketan, India, with another Indonesian painter named Rusli. They practiced and studied together to become painters. Impressionists and renaissance artists, such as Sandro Botticelli, Francisco Goya, and Edvard Munch, influenced most of Affandi’s artworks.#
I could not recall the name of the auction, but I remember falling in love with Affandi’s work at first sight. I was amazed by the combination of colours, instantly touching my soul. I find joy in seeing paintings that are hard to understand; the viewer would need a moment to translate what the artist is trying to express. Affandi painted things that were difficult for people to translate visually.# #
#
However, Affandi created his own mark on his paintings, known as ‘suffering’. He preferred painting suffering objects than beautiful ones, like a half-starved, halfnaked old woman, or a black mountain. Why? He wanted people to learn something from his works, and he painted suffering to describe what is really going on in real life. #
Born in West Java in 1907, Affandi Koesoema is an example of the brave person who chose to follow his passion. Although his father wanted him to be a doctor, he dropped out of school to become an artist. At first, his approach was as a realist painter, where his paintings can be easily understood, like a picture taken with a camera.#
#
#
He had a unique method of painting, which was using the back of his hand. He actually discovered the technique by accidentally squeezing the paint from the tube onto the back of his hand when his brush was broken and he was unable to paint curvy lines. His technique is one of the reasons why I adore his paintings, because that means every line on his paintings is produced directly from his hands, with nothing in between.#
It was in one of his realist paintings, SelfPortrait, that the seeds of his expressionist ideals can be seen. Painted in 1944, that was a moment when he reflected unto the canvas his emotions. He did not just show his ability with visual impressions, but also mastered the art of pouring emotion and aesthetics to his paintings instead. # # 8 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
# After seeing Affandi’s works, I realised that I fell in love with expressionist paintings because I am a firm believer of emotional bond. Expressionist paintings reveal the emotions of the painter on canvas. Even
IMAGE: ANDY NELSON / FLICKR!
FEATURE ASTRID BESTARI
when they didn’t paint the objects clearly, I feel connected to them emotionally after that first time seeing them. #
exhibitions in Europe, such as in England, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Italy. #
#
His major success led to his appointment by the Indonesian government to represent Indonesia in the Sao Paulo Biennale in 1953. He also visited the United States, taught at Ohio State University and was appointed as an Honorary Professor in Painting. Additionally, he painted a mural in the East-West Center, Hawaii, and later on received a ‘Grand Maestro’ title from Florence, Italy. These achievements verified him as the most important figure in the Indonesian art scene, and showed that these countries really appreciated his talent. #
Affandi wonderfully painted his objects without needing to actually reveal the object clearly. Pouring his emotions towards the objects instead, he used various colors and mixed it into a work of art. His works affected the way I interpret paintings. It was like a wake-up call – I finally understood how to appreciate art, by feeling how the pieces speak to me. #
#
# After that, I am no longer attracted to works of art that did not communicate to my soul, works of art that only attracted the eyes. These works of art do not represent emotional bond between the artist and his or her work; rather, they were made for commercial purposes, to conform to the market. # # He might not be the only Indonesian who is involved in modern contemporary art, but it is safe to say that he was the first Indonesian painter who dares to paint things in a different way during his time, without paying attention to what others might think. Although most Indonesians back then had difficulties grasping the idea of his paintings, Affandi successfully attracted the world’s attention through his 10 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
museum complex in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. # Affandi was a fighter, a man who truly dedicated his life to art despite the obstacles that came along his way. His life journey showed how much he stood by what he believed in, whether people liked it or not. Limitations did not stop him from learning or from pursuing his passion as a serious painter. He painted suffering on canvas where people mostly expected beautiful objects. He intended to make others learn a little from his work, a risky choice that very few would understand. #
# Today, his paintings are displayed in his own museum in Yogyakarta. It displays 250 paintings by Affandi that are not for sale. Unfortunately, due to the humidity and temperature of the country, as well as a shortage in funds and revenue at the museum, they could not take care of the paintings properly – causing concerns regarding the condition of his paintings. Hundreds of his paintings are being sold to art collectors by prominent international art dealers, such as Jimmy D. Robinson, Inc., as well as international auction houses like Christie’s and Sotheby’s for millions of dollars. He is now buried at his own
# I’m not saying that Affandi is the only Indonesian painter who should be appreciated. There are many other Indonesian painters nowadays whose works are as meaningful as Affandi’s. However, Affandi’s journey to become an internationally-acclaimed painter, with what most Indonesians would call “bad paintings” which they could not understand, should be a reminder for those in our generation to keep producing artworks without thinking about what others will think. It may not have been his direct intention, but I learned that rather than producing works for the sake of being liked, creating art to make others learn is what really counts in the end.
POETRY SHEMSI ELSANI
Beyond those haze, there he was, sitting alone Loneliness was with him, like an obedient companion Understanding and being understood, like those clouds and the rain Different yet connected Those big brown eyes, blinking, as if tried to shake out reality Staring farther away, beyond the haze Wondering what would be there, behind those curtains of particles Would there be happiness? He was all alone, listening to the rhythm of nature Neither hurting nor entertaining Like those clouds swept away by the wind Away they go as the wind blows Those clouds are neither happy nor they would be sad They wouldn't, he thought He felt the wind blowing Brushing his delicate skin, caressing it like he was theirs He would smile, imagining what it would be like to be loved That wind wouldn't say a thing to him, yet he heard their whispers As if they were trying to reach him He thought they were That stone he was sitting on, felt cold His bare skin flinched reluctantly Yet he sat on it like it was a soft comfy chair He had nowhere to go, nor anyone to care for him That cold stone, those loneliness were all he ever had
A Sad Little Boy TEXT: SHEMSI ELSANI IMAGE: FFION ATKINSON / FLICKR
10 | CQ MAGAZINE | #3
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 11
SHORT STORY SABAH CARRIM
On Reality TEXT: SABAH CARRIM IMAGE: ASIAN DEVELOPMENT BANK / FLICKR!
“A cynic is a disillusioned idealist.” “How much does it cost?” asks David. “About 400 per assignment,” answers another voice. A business transaction is obviously going on. We are in the cafeteria and David and the other person are sitting a few steps away from my table. “Marks guaranteed?” David asks. “Of course. Nothing less than an A,” is the reply. “What if I get a B plus or a B minus for it?” “Not my fault, man! It’s the marker, the examiner who is screwed up.” “How can you guarantee standards?” They are silent for a while but I reckon after the shuffle of bags and documents that I overhear, something is handed over to David. “Proof of my former customers’ marks after I did their assignments,” says the voice. “Names highlighted.” “Yes, but I don’t have proof that you did their assignment.” The tone of the other voice changes: “Listen, you want it or not, man? It’s fine if you don’t want me to do the work for you. I don’t need your money.” “Ya...Ya... OK. What the hell. I’ll give you the 12 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
cash once the work is done,” says David. “The deal is you pay me half now and half after I submit the work to you.” “Okay. See me tomorrow at 2 pm for the money.” A few seconds later, I see the face of the other person who was with David. He looks familiar. He walks in the direction of the exit. David gets up from his table and moves to mine. “You heard right? Listen, I know you and I know you can keep your mouth shut, so I was not worried. This stays between us two, you hear?” “Of course. So you were getting him to do your assignments. Who is he?” “One of our seniors. He hardly comes to class but he is a smart ass.” “Have you always done this?” “What?” I want to say ‘Pay someone to do your assignments.’ But I am trying to be tactful and don’t want to jeopardize the trust he already has in me. “Ask someone to do your assignments?” I say. “Yes, I have always done that. Why bother slogging when you can pay to get the work done by others? If you’re already forking out
so much from your pocket for a decent education, you might as well pay to make sure the end product is decent too. It’s all about a damn paper, right? And we need papers to pass fucking job interviews.” “But...” “But what?” “Well, prospective employers don’t only look at the paper - the certificate - because they know that it doesn’t necessarily define who you are.” David sneers. “Really?” he asks looking at me disbelievingly. “Well, yes. I’d think so.” “Nonsense. It’s all about pretences and appearances. You think they won’t judge you by virtue of that paper you carry around? The only recipe for success, that is if you are a smart ass and a good actor and confident enough about who you are, is in your ability to fake it all the way. We are all fake people anyway. What does it matter if I put in extra effort to be more fake?” David continues after a pause of a few seconds. “You remember Adam, that chap who used to ask questions all the time?” “Adam?! How do you know him?” “We went to the same secondary school.” “Oh, and how did you know I knew him?” “He used to talk about you all the time. He was my neighbour. When I saw you in college, I remembered.”
I am from a country previously colonised by barbarian sailors and hardy soldiers from Europe. In other words they were all white men
SHORT STORY SABAH CARRIM I am surprised. I didn’t know that David was Adam’s neighbour. David continues. “I don’t want to end up like him, man! The problem with him was that he expected too much out of the world. That honesty he carried about him, which made him want to get to the bottom of every damn situation, did him more harm than good. He was a bag of disappointment. You shouldn’t believe too much in the world, in its goodness, in its sincerity. Because when you do, you end up either like Adam or you end up like a damn bitter gourd.” I peer at David silently and think about how refreshing certain encounters can be, no matter how often I choose to be in my own company. It’s time for class. Surprisingly, David doesn’t accompany me but says he has some work to do. We say goodbye to each other. I walk slowly towards the staircase, mulling over my interaction with David. He is probably right about trusting me to keep his secret. I don’t think what he is doing is wrong. His action is the inevitable result of a system that has its own share of disbelievers who, in order to play along and get by in life, have to come up with smart ways to beat it. I’ve decided to take the lift to class today. Is there a particular reason? Not really. I am waiting on the floor labelled ‘G’ and the dean, Mr. Nathan, as well as a seriouslooking white guy are both standing next to me. I am from a country that was previously colonised by a bunch of barbarian sailors and a few hardy soldiers who came from Europe. In other words they were all white men. I’ve been programmed to think that they are superior to us. It’s the media and the history books that were part of our school’s curriculum. I had to shake the feeling off for a long time and I still need to remind myself to do it time and again. My solution is to imagine the white guy with a tan that makes him so brown that he looks Indian. That way the white man looks quite ordinary and more relatable. He can now be my father, my cousin, or just any ordinary man on an Indian omnibus. I’m eavesdropping on their conversation and I am pretending that I am not by staring placidly at the floor, lost in my thoughts. I gather that the white guy is an external examiner from a prestigious university in the United Kingdom. I am guessing that it’s
either Oxford or Cambridge because our college has entered into certain agreements with them. Mr. Nathan seems to be complaining about the academic standards of the students. “Our students, I tell you, are terrible. Their standards are so low. They can’t even write English properly. Forget that; they can’t even think, Professor Richard! It’s our system of education that is a problem. It teaches people to memorise everything for exams. There is no thinking involved, no creativity whatsoever.” The white guy seems to be listening intently but I can tell that he is not too happy with Mr. Nathan’s comment. “Mr. Nathan...” “Oh don’t call me Mister Nathan. You can call me Nathan. You are a professor, I am just an ordinary guy. Call me Nathan please.” The white guy frowns. “Well, Nathan, I’ve just returned from Madrid and it’s the same there. Students memorise everything. It’s not just the system of education in this country that ought to be blamed. Trust me on this.” # Mr. Nathan is quiet. I’m looking at the grey hair at his temples. I wonder how easy it would be for him to reconsider a belief that he has been holding on to for so long with so much faith and conviction. The lift appears. We walk into it. Mr. Nathan presses number 4. He turns to look at me and says, “Girl, which floor are you going to?” I don’t like being addressed as ‘Girl’. There
is a hierarchy that annoys me: Professor Richard, Nathan and Girl. It’s utterly disrespectful, but of course I keep this thought to myself. “The same floor as you, thank you,” I reply. The door closes. The conversation between them continues. Mr. Nathan insists, “My niece Alia studied in England and she says the education there is definitely better.” The white guy doesn’t reply. I think he doesn’t want to engage in a debate when he has said what he needed to say. Not every battle should be fought. Mr. Nathan has a sudden epiphany. “You must meet her, Professor. She is a wonderful girl. She is so brave it drives me to tears when I think about it. Do you know what she does? She teaches small children how to speak English. They have that disease. What’s the name again? I forgot...” Mr. Nathan is pointing his finger at his arm. His head is bent as he is trying to recall the name of the disease. “AIDS. AIDS! Yes those small children have AIDS. I warned her to be careful that she might catch the disease by being there but she wouldn’t listen to me. She is very stubborn; she won’t listen to me, but she is very courageous Professor...” I observe his brown wrinkled skin as teardrops roll down his cheeks and stick to the sides of his chin. This is unbelievable. I cringe. I wince. This can’t be possibly happening. How badly does it reflect on who we are and how we identify ourselves! The lift stops rattling. The door opens. Nathan makes way for Professor Richard and then Girl has to wait to walk out last. Sabah Carrim’s second novel, Semi-apes, can be purchased from Amazon.com.
IMAGE: CINEFIL_/ FLICKR! 14 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
FEATURE ADI ISKANDAR AND ZAIDAH Z
Mainstreaming the Fringe Zaidah Z and Adi Iskandar reported on three independent publishers who shared their experiences and ideas of the Malaysian alternative books scene. IMAGE: SHAM HARDY / FLICKR!
Bring up the issue of independent publications in Malaysia, and chances are there will be more than a few heads turned. Many such books have been branded with varying degrees of controversy, with eyecatching titles deemed unsuitable by some for many. Though some publishers actively court such attention, it’s not fair to tar everyone with the same brush. Aloy Paradoks of Selut Press certainly felt that way. Citing the example of Fixi, he stated that some publishers aim for such material. “They encourage slang language. That’s how they market themselves. A number of others take the same approach, and before you know it, everyone thinks that it is the same for all publishers. Absolutely not! I don’t publish such materials.” Delving a little deeper into who does what also necessitated the question of what being independent means. Merpati Jingga’s Faisal Mustaffa believes that such a question is worthy of greater consideration before falling back on general forms of categorisation. “What is your definition of independent? Since I have received funds, does that mean I am truly independent? We got some funding from the Krishen Jit Astro fund to publish Hassan Muthalib’s Malaysian Cinema in a Bottle. Do I consider myself as an independent publisher?” Whether they’re independent or not, Fikri Harun considered the telling of truths to be of paramount importance. “In my book, I wrote that sex is not a sin. Talking about it is not a sin. Even doing it is not a sin. It is only a sin if you misuse it.” The logic of stirring that pot in Malaysia made some students shift uncomfortably in the hall, but #
the head honcho of Buku Hitam Press continued. “Why should we be so afraid or afraid of sex? That is a gift from God. We in Malaysia regard sex as taboo.” # “I relate religion to sex as something that is not taboo,” he continued. “That is why we encourage people to write about politics, religions, sex and society.” A pause, then he shifted his attention from the moderator to the audience. “You guys will know when you get married. It’s going to be incredibly awkward, precisely because you didn’t have sex education.” How important, though, is having a formal education in the field? After all, Aloy himself didn’t finish his studies at Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) and Akademi Seni Budaya dan Warisan Kebangsaan. He did not, however, allow that to be a hindrance. “What I wish to emphasise here is when we believe that we can do something, there are many ways we can attain that knowledge.” He certainly attained something, being enterprising enough to find ways to make his first zine. “The first time I wrote in a zine, it was a cheap thing we photocopied for RM1, and sold for RM5.” That profit margin came about in spite of the quality of the product. “Honestly, the book wasn’t very good because there were typos, spelling errors, and incomplete grammar.” “The cover was awful, the quality was terrible. I didn’t know how to do the layout,” he continued. What he did know was how to make it work, even if it was a little primitive. “I typed, before printing it and cutting up, then I pasted it inside the book. I made copies of it to be sold.”
From such acorn seeds do great oaks grow. “With RM200, I established Selut Press and published the first book, entitled Jiwa Berontak by Khalil Gibran.” With the copyright having expired, he rewrote the entire book in bahasa Melayu, to fit the target audience. Aware of his financial limitations, he printed only 30 units at a time, a method called print-on-demand. “That sparked the growth of both Selut Press and Sang Freud Press.” Merpati Jingga had an altogether different start. “Around 2002, blogs became an important medium of expression,” Faisal began. “At the time it was also used by the Reformasi-era conformists. I had my own blog and became an influential blogger.” An equally important factor in his transition was his relationship with the actor Zaharil Adzim. “He said, ‘Why don’t we publish the articles we wrote on the blog?’ He needed someone to manage his writing in a more organised manner.” Fikri’s own origin story is not entirely dissimilar, even if the actual location may be vastly different. Having started up his own blog, it was a trip to Brunei that lit the fuse. “That was when I started my ‘toilet notes’. I would write and then post straight to the blog. The comments and critiques would come in, and that’s how the blog became popular.” Though unconventional, he claimed that the toilet is the best place to get ideas. It even became the inspiration for the title of his first book, Bukan Dari Jibril. The aforementioned blog posts were collected and curated, to be presented in a single book form. “Jibril was the angel from whom #5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 15
If anyone asks what the difference is between the alternative and the mainstream, I will say only one thing: filter
FEATURE ADI ISKANDAR AND ZAIDAH Z life again. “No one was publishing poetry,” noted Aloy. This was not a surprise, given that poetry didn’t usually sell well; even internationally recognised poets have trouble making ends meet, but Aloy wasn’t about to be put off. The success of Langit Vanilla by Wani Ardy (CQ’s editor in chief) and Fazleena Hishamuddin’s Seksi Ovari were the two hits in a sea of misses kept Aloy afloat. Standing out from the crowd is something Faisal himself strongly advocated. “In economics theory, we look at supply and demand. We see what is in demand.” Using films as an example, he illustrated the tendency for such demands to trend for certain periods of time. “We watch a vampire film, then everyone will want to make one. The same goes for comedies. So we asked the questions, ‘Who created that demand? Isn’t it you yourself?’” He paused. “We are the supplier, and we are the customer.” What makes Merpati Jingga special, then? “The genre or niche I prioritised then is that the publication must be based on a true story, or something inspired by the author’s real life,” he explained. “When you publish a true story, there must be an interesting story there. That can become a lesson to us all. I do it as a form of corporate social responsibility. I know it may not sell, but I
want to publish it.” Fikri takes it one step further, emphasising not only on niche but also branding that niche. He cited the example of Tony Fernandes, rarely seen without his nowubiquitous red AirAsia cap, before recalling the first time they sold their books at Frinjan, an event organised by the eponymous arts and culture collective. “We went there with two books, and I managed to ask my friend to make Buku Hitam t-shirts,” he smiled. “That night, we managed to make nearly RM2,000! The most important thing wasn’t the stage, but the fact that I planted two huge buntings with the Buku Hitam Press logo as big as possible. That’s branding.” That same night also gave us a deeper insight into Fikri’s perspective as well. “When we edit, a lot of the problems we have are related to grammatical issues. The minor typos, we allow for that.” That’s not to say that he doesn’t care. “For me, being particular is not the same as being a perfectionist. If you’re a perfectionist, it can kill you.” This eye for particularity was useful that first night. “For Frinjan, the books arrived at night, with the glue marks still on the spine,” he revealed. “We looked at it, and
IMAGE: WRITING FITA!
Nabi Muhammad received his revelations. What I received in the toilet, for sure it was not from Jibril!” The scene, however, not limited to the three of them. In fact, it mushroomed a lot earlier around 2008. “That was when Sang Freud Press was founded by Sufian Abas,” explained Aloy. “At that time, Fixi wasn’t around yet. Amir Muhammad had published books, but it was under a different moniker, Matahari Books. Amri Rohayat was also on the scene. They were the early pioneers of alternative books at the time.” It was Amir’s later effort, Fixi, that had a bigger correlation with Selut Press’ fate. Not only did they register their companies on near-identical dates, Fixi’s efficiency was something Aloy used to motivate him. “While I was still editing at home, Amir already published two books,” he recalled. “I felt challenged by this, so I released mine a month later.” He was also more than happy to clarify the connection between Selut Press and Sang Freud Press. “At the time, Sang Freud wasn’t doing very well,” he said. Having mutual respect with Sufian, he suggested they collaborate. Sufian eventually agreed, shutting down Sang Freud Press. A gap in the market that brought it back to
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 17
FEATURE ADI ISKANDAR AND ZAIDAH Z
18 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
“He said, ‘These books will mislead people’. I asked him whether he has read them. He said he didn’t have the time to read. He just looks at the title.” Faisal went on to explain such titles are merely used to attract attention in a crowded marketplace, not entirely untrue in and of itself but certainly inaccurate if taken at face value. “In Bogel Menuju Tuhan was there any nudity in it? Anyone naked in it?” Though the case was eventually dropped, the experience was not without its scars. “I was still affected by it, because I have to clear my name, my family’s name, my company’s name.” The one silver lining was the indication that Faisal is on the right path. “I felt it was a positive sign that we’re being known, and that we managed to challenge the bigger publishing companies.” Aloy concurred as he interjected his own experience at the International Book Fair. “At the time, people thought, ‘Let’s stick the independent kids beneath the escalator’.” That didn’t hinder them from attaining a high sales count, to the point that some of the more established publishers began to complain. By the time the next event rolled around, they were placed inside the main hall. “Now the independent kids have to come into Dewan Tun Hussein Onn at Putra World Trade Centre.” He smiled. “What they want is the crowd. With a lot of people lining up at our booth, they want people to enter their booths as well.” Though satisfied with this success, resting
on their laurels is not a tactic Fikri hoped many will adopt. “Don’t just focus on books, if you really want to succeed in this field. If we want to make it as an industry, we need to diversify our business,” he said. “The best example in this industry is Lejen Press, which have many diversified business interests.” It is something Merpati Jingga is experimenting with. “Now we’re venturing into e-books territory as well, even though I’m not entirely sure how popular this will be from a sales perspective,” Faisal admitted. “People don’t read books on tablets. They still want to touch the paper and smell the ink.” Speaking of sales, another aspect of the industry that requires change is the chain of distribution. Fikri claimed this as the biggest drawback for publishers without deep pockets to begin with. Having printed the books, they’re then passed on to the distributor, who will take a 50% cut of the price. “If the price of the book is RM20, the distributor will pay us RM10 for them,” he explained. The disruptive cog in this well-oiled machine is the book shops. “They pay the
Who created that demand? We are the supplier, and we are the customer
IMAGE: WRITING FITA!
we can say this is art, but my principle is, ‘We cannot be perfect’. This glue mark reminds me that we are not perfect.” Imperfect, financially unsound, and potentially faced with many rejections. What makes the alternative book scene so attractive, though? Given the struggles of those present at the start of their career, it hardly seems like the best advert for the industry. The panelists, however, promoted its advantages. “If we compare to the mainstream publishers, there will be all sorts of procedures and levels you have to go through,” said Faisal. “You have to send to this department first, who will present it to a panel, who’ll discuss once a month, and it’s only then that you might be called back. It takes months, and it’s this process that people don’t want.” He used Haliza Misbun, the author of Cinta Rimau, to illustrate his point. “When Haliza feels like she has a story, they tend to be controversial, like incest or sexual freedom. These things do happen, but Karangkraf would have problems with it.” Pitching her idea to Faisal instead, she found a more receptive audience. “I give freedom. That freedom, a lot of them don’t have it in the mainstream.” Fikri agreed. “For me, if people ask what’s the difference between the alternative and the mainstream, I will say only one thing: filter.” He was at pains, however, to enumerate that it did not mean total freedom. “It doesn’t mean that we are free from responsibilities. We are only free from the barriers to tell these stories.” This is the main reason behind Buku Hitam Press’ policy of using the authors’ real names. “We want them to be responsible for their own writing.” However, others may have different ideas about such responsibilities. Faisal still seethed as he recalled an incident with the Selangor Islamic Department (JAIS). “When JAIS turned up, at first we thought it was a Wakenabeb type of shoot, because they brought cameras with them, but it turns out to be the real police force,” he remembered. “I see the books being taken away, the quantity, and then I waited to be summoned. I actually produced an invoice, saying that they have to pay for the books they took. The officer in charge said they have a right to grab anything under warrant.” The titles grabbed included Bogel Menuju Tuhan, Syurga Yang Hilang and Aku Manusia Berdosa. Faisal protested his innocence to the officer in charge, claiming that there’s nothing unIslamic about them.
FEATURE ADI ISKANDAR AND ZAIDAH Z
IMAGE: WAZARI WAZIR / FLICKR!
distributor using credit, which means that they will only see the money six months later,” he lamented. “What of the publishers? If this is not changed, the industry will die. The bookshops are the troublemakers.” Trouble will also come to those without enough knowledge. There can be no writing without reading, and Faisal himself reiterated Islam’s stance on this. “Islam asks us to read. Read and study all the way to China.” Fikri concurred, stating that greater research is always required. “You probably think that your idea is the best, when in fact others have done it better. That’s why we need to read.” Getting an early start is also important. Aloy strongly promoted the idea of planning ahead. “Make art, write, do theatre outside of university, from your first semester,” he advised those in attendance. More to the point, it’s important to make these activities known from the start. He recalled the struggles of his friends, superstars in schools, from whom entire faculties would support and celebrate. “But when they do it outside, no one came to watch. Why? Because they didn’t brand themselves from the first semester. In the end, that disappointment may well cause you to give up.” Not giving up is important, because evolution is always required. Aloy believed that there will be a new generation of writers who will come to usurp them one day. It is a pattern noted in many industries; the legendary director Akira Kurosawa may be celebrated today, but the generation of Japanese filmmakers immediately after him derided his groundbreaking films as cliched, having been used to the different as the norm. “There will be a new wave of writing that will appear. The ones who produces zines will have their own company. They will say Buku Hitam, Merpati Jingga, Selut...they are all cliche. Poetry is no longer relevant. The time will come when they will compete against us,” he concluded, looking at the rest of the panel. “We will be old by then. Without the young, there will be no change, and without that...art will die.” Indiepretasi: Penerbitan Buku Alternatif di Malaysia was hosted by the Creative Writing Programme of the Faculty of Film, Theatre and Animation, Universiti Teknologi MARA in November 2013. You can watch the entire session on the Writing FiTA YouTube channel.
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 19
FEATURE NAZIRA ZIYANA Television shows around the world are abound with genre and narrative forms. These include the likes of action, film noir, history and even soap opera. The narratology or narrativity of these shows depends heavily on the genre. That’s not to say that only the bigger shows, like mini series or made-for-TV movies demonstrate narrative mannerisms. Simple clips such as music videos and advertisements also tells the audience a story. Gaby Allrath said that music videos frequently enact the theme and storyline based on the song’s lyrics, while a commercial endorsing pain relievers may rely on argument and comparison of products. Besides narratology, broadcast television also possessed an extensive range of styles, positions and structures. Tony Bates stated that he believed in variety of style and structure in each genre of shows produced. As such, an educational TV programme’s structure cannot be the same as a soap opera. The style and structure are part of the crucial elements in bringing the audience to love the show and understand what they are watching. When it comes to soap operas, many of them are written in five, or recently, six acts. In between these acts are commercial breaks, placed with a certain purpose in mind. In the late 1990s and early 2000s, nonWestern soap operas from the Philippines, Indonesia and Latin America conquered the flow in mediascape, providing a bulk of such cultural texts available for consumption in Malaysia.# #
As Md Azalanshah suggested in a 2011 article published in the Malaysian Journal of Media Studies, the attentiveness and devoutness of audiences who watch these soaps are quite astounding; the daily routines such as cooking for the family, doing the laundry and other social activities are planned not to collide with the show time of the soaps. It’s therefore pertinent for us to dig a little deeper on the narrative side, to understand why this was and still is the case. Genre and Ideology of Telenovela Simply put, soap operas can be categorised as audio-visual media broadcasted on television. One of the must-watch texts of the time was La Usurpadora (The Pretender). Known as a telenovela, they are acutely described as an on-going television show, presented through multiple episodes in any given week. Laura Stempel Mumford considers the narratology as being composed of interlocking plots and theme, focusing on the specific community of characters. Certainly, there is a clear community of viewers as well, largely composed on 20 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
Narratology and Structure in La Usurpadora TEXT: NAZIRA ZIYANA! IMAGE: DAVE BLEASDALE / FLICKR!
IMAGE: EUGENE SMITH / FLICKR!
IMAGE: NAZIRA ZIYANA / FLICKR!
FEATURE NAZIRA ZIYANA
women, primarily housewives who are relaxing in front of the television when the shows are aired in the afternoon. The show itself focuses on the Bracho family who owns a ceramic factory. As a serial soap opera show, the conflicts in each episode were bring forward to the next episode, sometimes even continuing until a few episodes after that. The presentation of family bond and romance (especially of that between Paulina and Carlos Daniel) certainly supports the narrativity theory mentioned previously by Mumford. Additionally, the criminal acts of Paola Bracho certainly helps with the intrigue. Watching the series, the key ideological issues noted are sexuality, family and class. The Bracho family is seen to be in high social group of people as they live in a big house and own a successful ceramic factory for three generations. On the other hand, one of the main characters, Paulina, originated from a small village in Cancun where she lived in a small hut by the sea, with her sick mother. An example of sexuality as a site for conflict can be seen in the 21st episode, where Carlos Daniel is unhappy about Paola taking over the management of the 22 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
factory. He mentioned that no woman of Bracho has worked before, and that she should do the same. Only men should get involved with the business while women should stay home, go on vacation or go shopping if they wish to. According to Allrath, narrativity of soaps comprises of two major characteristics that contribute to a successful TV show which are the visual channel as well as the audio channel. The visual channel can be further breakdown into categories such as nature of image and treatment of image. As seen above, treatment of image is the mise-enshot as it deals with the behind-the-scene works, such as cinematography and editing. These works will then produce the cohesiveness of the narrativity of each episode, and details how viewers see each acts in the soaps. The nature of image is, however, often described as the mise-enscene of the show which involves the actor cast, props used and body language. Visual Channel" In the final episode of La Usurpadora, when Estefania Bracho confronted her real mother after getting to know that she was actually adopted into the Bracho family, the camera focused on her face to get a closeup shot. This shot was meant to get the viewer to be immersed in the mood of the
act at that point of the drama. The camera was also tilted upright in the same scene as she was sitting down and looking up towards her mother while crying. This may also symbolise Estefania as emotionally and psychologically weaker than her mother, as she was crying from not having a mother figure to lean on when she went through difficult events throughout the series. Whenever the whole family were present in a same place, a wide shot is used to include everyone in the frame. It’s also worth considering the actress behind the character. She is Gabriela Spanic, a former Miss Venezuela in 1992. Here she played two characters, the twin sisters Paola Bracho and Paulina Martinez. This choice of casting was to attract a specific audience to watch the show. The beauty and fashion sense of Gabriela Spanic may attract female viewers to watch La Usurpadora. In order to differentiate the twins, the characters put on different make up and dressed differently. Paola wears heavy make-up and painted dark or bright coloured lipstick on her. She also wears sexy dresses that portray elegance but are also seductive as she plays the role of having relationships with a number of different men. Paulina on the other hand has a more respectable and natural look, both with her make up and clothes.
FEATURE NAZIRA ZIYANA Paulina went back as Paola, nobody would acknowledge that anything was different, for they thought she was Paola. Was there a disruption here? Perhaps, but that recognition did not come to the fore. #
Maphosa also said that the disruption to this equilibrium can happen many times, lasting for a number of episodes. This disruption happened when Paola decided to leave her handicapped boyfriend and went back to her house after a year of Paulina staying there. Paulina made a lot of changes while she was there, and helped the family a lot with their business by gaining funds to improve their status as well as aiding the recovery of Mrs Bracho. These were the things Paola never cared much for. In fact, for the most part she had only ever been interested in money. Returning from her holiday, everyone in the house had known of the pretender that had replaced her this past year. They despised Paola, including her husband who adored her all this while. This can be categorised as the recognition of that disruption that went unnoticed earlier. # After numerous episodes of crime committed by the ‘devil’ Paola, she ended up dying from being critically injured in a car accident. Before she passed away, she tried to repair the damage she had done by agreeing to let Paulina and Carlos marry each other and live a peaceful life. She herself wished to repent for all the mistakes she had done by apologising to everyone. Having repaired the damage, this new equilibrium state is confirmed in the final episode of the telenovela, where Paulina wed Carlos. They are inferred to continue living a peaceful life with his two children and other family members. Finally, everyone is happy and content with their lives. Conclusion In the end, it is clear that the narratology and structure of La Usurpadora was made up of the elements from a typical soap opera. The narrativity of continuous conflicts in few number of episodes fit in with the theory of drama soaps genre. The auditory channel consist of both diegetic and non-diegetic sounds, whereby nondiegetic sound helped in improvement of a particular scene for viewers. Mise-en-scene and mise-en-shot were the two elements as the fundamental of visual channel. Just as importantly, it can be seen how Todorov’s theory of equilibrium aids an understanding of not only how this particular telenovela has reached its conclusion, but also how other television shows attain their own state of (happy) endings.
IMAGE: QUENTIN THEURET / FLICKR!
Furthermore, since the telenovela revolves around the life of the Bracho family, the most used location in the whole show is the Bracho residence. It’s a big house with facilities such as a gymnasium, swimming pool, spacious garden, including garage was used to portray the social class of the family. # Auditory Channel Sound is an important element to a narrative television style. In order to spice up the soap opera, non-diegetic sound is edited into the frames to provide the viewers the sense of suspense, happiness or sadness. An example of non-diegetic sound is background music. This element is often used in all types and genres of television shows, as well as films. Interestingly, Paola Bracho has her own background music for every scene she makes appearance in. The score, La Usurpadora Capitulo 37, is one example of non-diegetic sound being put in to scene in order to provide a dramatic act of the character. We can hear her so-called ‘theme song’ playing in the background at the beginning of the episode, when Paola make her big entrance to meet her husband and in-laws. Being non-diegetic in nature, this is not heard by them then and now. An example of diegetic sound would be the dialogue between the actors, as well as monologues spoken out loud by a character. In contrast, the monologue heard from an actor’s mind, when he inaudibly converse to himself is categorised as nondiegetic sound. Tzvetan Todorov’s Equilibrium Theory Todorov’s Equilibrium Theory is divided into five stages. According to Yvonne Maphosa, it consists of the equilibrium state, the disruption to this equilibrium, a recognition of this disruption and the attempt to repair it, before a new state of equilibrium comes into being. # In the first episode, the main characters Paulina Martinez and Paola Bracho accidentally meet in a club and realise they look so much alike. Paulina works there, while Paola was there to socialise. Paola is married to Carlos Daniel Bracho but she also has many secret affairs with other single and rich bachelors in Mexico. Life of the Bracho family was briefly broadcasted too, to provide an inside look of the family’s daily routine for the viewers. # The third episode showed how Paola, who loves to travel and enjoy life outside of the Bracho house, decided to frame Paulina, so she would pretend to be her and go back to her house. Based on Todorov’s theory, these two episodes are categorised as a state of equilibrium, where the characters are living their usual everyday lives: even if
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 23
POETRY MEERA SUPRAMANIAM
Written sometime in 97 TEXT: MEERA SUPRAMANIAM IMAGE: ELVIS KENNEDY / FLICKR!
I love trees.# There is a path I take to school,# Where trees line the lane,# I don’t know their names,# # But I know their little leaves# that flutter down on windy days,# # And I know the light yellow# carpet of leaves which they make.# # And the sun that passes through the leaves,# making little shadows on the little lane# I take to school. First published on 12 July 2008 (areem-12july2008.blogspot.com).
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 25
INNER VIEW EMILLIO DANIEL AND NATALIE CHIN
Playing the Game CQ discusses the visual novel scene with Emillio Daniel and Natalie Chin, whose Missing Seasons visual novel will be released soon. IMAGE: EMILLIO DANIEL!
Hi guys! Let’s start at the start: who are you and what do you do? Emillio: Hi! Well, I’m Emillio Daniel, the director for the Missing Seasons visual novel project. I overlook the creative direction, story and overall business side to the project.# Natalie: I’m Natalie, the lead writer for this project. I assist in overlooking the story and proofreading. I also fix his typos; Emillio never fixes his own typos when writing! What was it that kick-started your interest in this area? Was there a particular “Aha!” moment you can identify? E: Leading up to the start of the project, I got tired of how static my company was in the last year. I felt I needed things to really pick up in life, and making a visual novel happened to be at the top of my bucket list. It’s pretty much the thing I wanted to happen the most before I die. How did you guys get together to create Missing Seasons? E: I basically asked around within my contacts for a potential hire for the project, someone who understood the Anime, Comics and Games (ACG) community enough and could relate to the writing we would be doing. N: One of my lecturers emailed me one day, informing me about one of his students who was on his way to starting a visual novel. He said he needed more people on the team who were familiar with the genre. Apparently, I came to mind because I cosplay. E: It’s surprisingly hard to find someone who understands the community and our culture, on top of being able to write. As such, Natalie was perfect for the job, really. 26 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
N: I was really honoured! I still am, actually. Being on this project was extremely fun and fulfilling. At this stage it’s probably best to lay our cards on the table: what is the Missing Seasons project? " E: The Missing Seasons project, when addressed that way, mainly addresses the plans for an entire franchise based around the world of Missing Seasons that will be introduced through the visual novel we are currently working on. I like to refer to the visual novel we’re currently making as ground zero, the place where it all begins. N: Think of it as an e-book with pictures, one that gives you the ability to make a choice for the main character in the story at certain turning points, and change the outcome of the story based on your actions. It’s meant to immerse the player, to be the main character, as opposed to reading their story as the third-person. This also gives it a game element. In more general terms, what is the scene like for visual novels in Malaysia? E: As far as I’m aware, there are only two developers in Malaysia that make visual novels. However they’re both small-time independent studios. I believe Zeiva Inc. is one of the developers; they’ve made appearances at Comic Fiesta before. The other is an Otome game, a visual novel specifically made for ladies. In general, there isn’t really much of a scene for it in Malaysia that people would point to this country when speaking of the genre. However, I wouldn’t take my word for it. At the initial planning stage, we didn’t really put the Asian market as our main target. We’re not saying no to readers here, but we’re specifically targeting the United
States. As it turns out, they have around 30% of the English language visual novel market. What is the story about? N: Well, basically it focuses on a girl named Elena Escarra who lost her mother at a very young age. She was raised by her dad, who did not pay much attention to her due to his job. Not given much of a chance to make friends, she grew up with very low selfesteem. As the story progresses, she opens up after meeting other main characters. Without going in too deep, let’s just say all of them have very, very unique personalities. I am betting my bottom dollar that everyone who is willing to take time to play this game seriously will definitely get attached to them. On Facebook, Emillio mentioned the story’s layers as its foundation. Intriguingly, you also said this: “The first layer is the most basic way Visual Novels are, in which you play a character that goes about their life.” What does that mean, ‘play’ a character? E: We refer to it as ‘play’ to make the connection; a visual novel is still considered a game despite the lack of traditional gaming elements. The programming behind all the choices that the player can make definitely works on a similar score-based system as how other games operate, giving you a ‘win’ or ‘lose’ scenario. In terms of what it means to play the character herself, it’s just a way of putting the player in the shoes of the main character. In our case, this would be 16-year old Spanish high school girl named Elena Escarra. 16 year old girl with a less-than-stable personal life: it seems like a universal-
INNER VIEW EMILLIO DANIEL AND NATALIE CHIN
IMAGE: EMILLIO DANIEL!
enough theme. Were there any inspirations from other sources that helped to give a certain focus to this character’s development? E: Anime. A lot of anime! This is pretty much the staple of anime. Plus, from a marketing perspective, it’s easier to ‘sell’ a young girl rather than an older one. Even when they were developed in writing first prior to being handed over to our lead character artist, there was a strong aesthetic approach to their development. We get inspired by fashion in this regard. What someone wears often tells us a lot about themselves, after all. It is set in an alternate world, in which Hitler was executed by Japan and Spain. How did you decide which bits of our ‘real world’ to keep or modify? E: I’m a bit of a history geek, so I enjoy it a lot. I’ll proudly say that I got an A+ for it in my SPM exams back in school! When I was deciding what to keep and modify, a lot of it had to do with trying to plunge the world into as much chaos as I can due to Hitler, enough that it gets the world to unite against him. This was done in order to have a post-war world that looks at patriotism in a different way; to the people of this world, it’s better to be proud of the reasons for
28 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
fighting instead of the country of origin. I wanted to break the borders between nations enough that sharing countries and diversity in one country is seen as a show of love and care, of unity. I wanted to mirror our own world in a very different way. Love is a central theme in the story, with angels playing an influential role. It definitely strikes an emotional and spiritual tone. How deliberate is this? N: It’s designed to evoke that rhetoric in people, to evoke a specific pathos that speaks for the importance of what’s inside when you make a decision in life, instead of what’s merely on the surface. However, without giving spoilers, just have a heads up that not all angels are… good in this story. We play very strongly with the idea of the ‘love’ that humans have and the one that angels are supposed to have. We sort of tip-toe over the morally grey area of questioning what might be going on with the world of angels and demons, we know so little of it despite what religious books may teach us. We basically filled in the blanks with science and other lore-centric things. Just going over the overall synopsis, it seems clear that this is more akin to
world- and myth-building, rather than just telling the story of a young girl. How did you go about doing this? I imagine meetings where basic rules of engagement are set up first, rather than developing the story of Elena… E: I actually developed much of the lore earlier before Natalie came on board through an experiment I conducted. I created a Minecraft server that had around 20 regular players in it, and started a fake religion and slowly started building the story of that religion in response to how the players live in the server. N: Sounds like fun!# E: It was! When Natalie came on board, I pretty much just ran the basics by her and continued working on it in parallel with the main narrative. It wasn’t too complicated since the world operates behind the story. I specifically wanted the world to seem like a character of its own, in which I take a cue from postmodern fiction, of breathing life into a world slowly plunging itself into dystopia through a polemic beyond the characters control. In this sense, Elena is kinda just stuck with whatever she’s being given as the world slowly makes itself known to the player through subtle cues on its culture and how it looks.
INNER VIEW EMILLIO DANIEL AND NATALIE CHIN
IMAGE: EMILLIO DANIEL!
While we’re here, explain to us the process of writing this. As I understand it, there’s a team of writers working together. How does it work? E: It’s actually mostly just me and Natalie. We had a third writer on board, but I fired her within a month because I didn’t like her work. N: This is what we do. Given that I’m situated in Johor and Emillio is in Kuala Lumpur, we don’t get to meet very often. We’ve only had one face-to-face meeting so far. Hence, we make it a point to hop on this desktop application called Discord once every other week to discuss the progression of the story and characters. We’ll have Google Docs open on another tab and the next two to four hours will consist of us brainstorming in front of our laptops. The whole Discord meeting is usually really laid back, but we always get a lot done! Emillio, you have a bit of a background in music production. What kind of influence did that have on this project? E: It made me feel a little bit like Quentin Tarantino on the project! Music is very important for this visual novel. There’s over 30 tracks already confirmed for this visual novel. The direct and obvious influence is that I knew exactly how I wanted things to sound. Even though there’s a vast variety of music in there from Shoegaze synth music to 40’s Jazz, everything kind of fits together somehow in response to the narrative, so it’s not too jarring. Every character in the visual novel has their own ‘genre’ of music attached to them. So if you play through the visual novel multiple times, it’s likely it’ll sound different for you depending on what you choose in the story. And here’s a fun fact: Tarantino and I share a birthday! Nice! Switching from a primarily auditory platform to a more visual one can’t have
been easy. What kind of challenges did you face in doing so? E: It wasn’t that hard actually. I’ve always been closely linked to visuals in my work, so making the shift was just a matter of thinking in terms of visuals-to-music as opposed to music-to-visuals. Natalie, you’re known as a cosplay performer. What inspired you to develop that interest further? N: Being a cosplayer is another way of saying I'm a sucker for fictional characters – so much so that I feel happy dressing up and pretending to be them for a day. In cosplay, you're really just portraying an existing character - their expressions, gestures, and habits. But writing a visual novel is a completely different thing altogether. How so? N: All the characters are written and created by you. Now, you're in charge of their existence – what they say, what they like and hate. I guess in a way cosplay helps me connect more with the characters I'm writing, to see what it's like to literally be in their shoes. When I'm creating or expanding each character, my experience helps me make sure whatever they're saying or doing is grounded to their personalities and quirks. I'm able to "keep in character" when I visualise them. Is this a step forward for you, moving above and beyond cosplay? N: I don't think joining this project acts as a step forward, more like an extension of my cosplay hobby. I never thought I would be given the chance to take part in the making of a visual novel, to be honest, but I definitely wasn't going to let the opportunity slide!
I understand that you have partnerships with U.K.-based Cult Classic Records and Hoax Music from Malaysia. What kind of contributions do they bring into the mix? E: Cult Classic Records lends us much of their discography free for us to use, and as it’s a hip-hop centric label, you get this really cool feel to the visual novel right from the start, a sort of Nujabes chill on a Saturday afternoon kind of thing. I specifically wanted the music from their label as it generally has a Jazz-hop feel to it – it was cool but slow enough to register in the background. Hoax contributes specifically two of their artist: Zysia and Viktoria, whose music from their Saccharine EP we used for one of our main characters. It has a very sexy femme fatale feel to it, like a modern take on film noir. There’s also a link established with Phyrnna Zorich. How did that happen? E: Phyrnna and I go way back. We met around seven and a half years ago through an online community called Newgrounds. She’s actually the person who inspired me to take up music production. We’re very close, so when I was talking to her about the visual novel I wanted to make, I figured we could just use her character in the story and the persona she already portrays to her fans. I always thought it’d be cool to see an actual story given to her character that her fans could take in. She’s a darling; do go check out her music! I don’t think we’re going to be using any of it in the visual novel itself, but who knows? What’s the barometer for success here? Is there a certain threshold you’re aiming for that would be a mark of satisfaction? E: A really fat bank account. N: Amen! What’s next for the both of you? E: With the writing being mostly done and character concept art ready, I’m trying to get a RM300,000 funding grant for the project to really push the development forward. We just need to hire the rest of the team, such as programmers and our lead artist on a fulltime basis to get this show on the road. Hopefully that’ll come soon! N: At this point, I just really want everyone who plays Missing Seasons to love it as much as I do!# E: Oh, and we also have a ‘trap’ character! She’s cute! Play it for her if nothing else! That’s it for now. Thanks for your time! E: You’re welcome! It was our pleasure! Nat, say something nice! N: No! Okay, just kidding. Thank you so much for being interested in our work! Follow their progress on Facebook at fb.com/missingseasonsvn.
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 29
Would you expect an expatriate to know more about the country you are living in than yourself?
REVIEW NURUL ISMAWI
From Academic to Epic Nurul Ismawi explains why Marco Ferrarese’s Banana Punk Rawk Trails has it all. IMAGE: MARCO FERRARESE!
Would you expect an expatriate to know more about the country you are living in than yourself? If you have the names of social scientists in your mind, you would probably answer the question with a ‘yes’. But what if we are talking about our underground scene, the music and cultures derived from foreigners? We may think we know our own versions of ‘underground’ well, but Marco Ferrarese may get you second-guessing. Come In From The Cold. Literally Tucked in among the wide array of events in the Georgetown Literary Festival 2015, the Banana Punk Rawk Trails book launching had me thinking, “Did SIRD, that publisher which publishes real smart things, really publish this book? SIRD do punk now?” Formally known as the Strategic Information and Research Development Center, is an independent publishing house in Malaysia that tends to focus on more scholarly endeavours. It was a gig. A smoke-filled, mosh-pitting, ear-aching gig. Before the launching, another book launching, also published by SIRD, took place at the same venue. Ferrarese warned the audience, including the ones that came for the previous book launch, that it will be very loud. To my surprised, they stayed and left only because it was getting late. Apart from those who belong in the scene, there were scholars, publishers, writers, readers, tourists, and even your ordinary mak ciks and pak ciks nodded along to the songs. A few aunties stood at the front to check out the bands. Ferrarese left Italy to teach languages in China. After travelling far and wide, he
finally set his anchor in Penang. The book contains excerpts from his PhD thesis, which explains how I sometimes feel like I was deported into a realm for the intelligent. But don’t let me give all of him away here. I bumped into him a few times and I cannot believe this guy is a wholly different person on stage. Destroy the Template It is about time when the local metal punk scene gets something written about it. Aren’t we all tired of misspellings and grammatical mistakes in zines? Some people would dodge the bullet by saying, “This is punk, no one cares about spellings and grammar mistakes. It is supposed to be dirty.” However, to an outsider, petty mistakes are unacceptable. Those typos in the zines are not going to take you anywhere, and I believe punk is much more than just music and doing things DIY. Ferrarese has taken the readers away from the usual anti-capitalists, screwing the police theme templates. And hey, no typos! None that I can recall, at least. The eighth chapter, entitled Western Dreams, Brutality and Bloodshed For All, spoke out to me the loudest. Being the ‘white guy’ has given Ferrarese a different but neutral eye on what we see as dogmas. We pay a month’s worth of rent to see a Western band play in the country. Given the tiny amount of salary that we earn, a ticket worth a hundred is mind-boggling and for the author, rather startling. Let’s face it, we tend to involuntarily worship whatever that comes from the West, hence the amount of money we pay to see some white guys playing on stage. Malaysia is easy money,
but not for the local bands. With the race card being so cheap in the Malaysia (allowing anyone to play it), the Malay Nazis are mentioned in the book. You read that right; Hitler would be so confused. Malay Nazi contradicts the idea of Nazism itself, which amuses the author. He talked to a few guys from SHARP (acronym for Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice), but it might have been more enlightening if he had a few interviews with the Nazis and see if he would get beaten up by those guys. Don’t worry Marco, I’ll call for back up. Apart from his critical thinking, Ferrarese is indeed very witty. He has got me hooked even from the preface. I am not going to comment too much about this, for you’ll have to get the book and read for yourself. Spoiler alert: he used good metaphors. I am not even half-joking when I tell people that this book has put me into laughing coma not once, but a few hundred times at the most random parts of the book. His creative words make the serious matters written adaptable, even for those who are strangers to the scene. Keep It Or Trash It? Keep it. Treasure it. Take it from someone who’s a lesser punk than anyone who has written a review on this book: this book is a monster. A good kind of monster. Taboo topics are raised, but debated fairly. The author had cut himself in half to debate his own topics. I don’t know for sure, but he does not appear to be biased in his writings and that makes him a good writer. But what makes him great? What was it that made me read #5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 31
REVIEW NURUL ISMAWI
32 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
IMAGE: MARCO FERRARESE!
this book cover to cover? It is the fact that he has never left me reading alone. It was as if he held out his hand and takes you on journeys that he has known so well, but unknown to many of us. Things are pictured in detail and often in the shape of narratives. And when you are not busy listening to his stories, you would be sitting in a classroom where the air is thick with curiosity, full of questions and everything that you need to know. Ferrarese has the answers. I like this guy. I like this book a lot. I wish people, especially the locals from the scene, made the effort to discuss and write a book like this. He came from Italy, wrote 456 pages about us, got it published by SIRD, which means there are important things worth talking about in this book. RM48 for 456 pages and a CD hidden at the back sleeve? This book is a steal! Don’t worry if you are not involved with metal punk in anyway. If you want to get to know the scene, get this book. If you want to know more, get this book. If you suspect that your kid is a punk or a metalhead, get this book and see what your kid has been up to. Banana Punk Rawk Trails is available online from Gerak Budaya. You can find out more about the book at bananapunkrawktrails.com. Follow Marco on Twitter at @monkeyrockworld.
FEATURE WANI ARDY
Lirik Menyelamatkan Aku Wani Ardy berkongsi peranan penulisan lirik dalam hidup dan dirinya IMAGE: SODANIE CHEA / FLICKR!
"...Ketika itu di nusantara Ada seorang anak pemuda Berhemah tinggi tekun berusaha Sedia berbakti… berbakti untuk negara Pemuda gagah kulitnya gelap Sering harung ribut dan taufan Seorang pelaut yang amat cekap Luas lautan menjadi mainan Telah dibawa oleh penjajah Sebagai kelasi di atas kapal Lantas mencipta satu sejarah Kisah panglima yang berhati cekal Belayarlah dia mengembara Ke Eropah dan (juga) ke selatan Amerika Panglima Awang masyhurnya nama Manusia yang pertama mengelilingi dunia..." (Al-Kisah, Cahaya Pena/Feminin, 1993)
Lirik menyelamatkan aku. Aku sering fikir aku bodoh. Dan iya, aku masih bodoh. Namun dahulu hakikat kebodohan yang membelenggu fikiran aku adalah terlalu jelek sehingga aku benci terhadap diri sendiri. Malu untuk wujud. Tidak membanggakan sesiapa. Yang markah ilmu hisabnya dua puluh tiga per seratus dan markah ilmu geografinya empat belas per seratus - itulah aku si murid dungu. Apa yang aku gemar selain bercerita melalui matapelajaran Bahasa Malaysia dan sejarah? Aku suka menghafal lirik dan menyanyi. Biarlah lunyai lembaran senikata yang tersisip dalam kaset album Feminin, KRU, Ideal Sisters, Iklim, dan Sheila Majid, asalkan jangan terkoyak. Kalaupun terkoyak - The Beatles, The Carpenters, ABBA, Bee Gees, dan Cat Stevens semuanya sanggup aku pitakan semula, elok molek seperti baru. Dalam bilik mandi, sebelum tidur, sambil berjalan ke sekolah, sambil menyiram pokok bunga, malah menangis memegang beg memikir patut tidak patut lari dari rumah juga bibir aku ralit menyanyi menenangkan hati. Lagu-lagu adalah candu yang mendamaikanku, begitulah barangkali. Bukan aku tidak cuba untuk mendalami congak dan sosok sains - aku cuba, tetapi ia menghakis jiwa aku untuk berdegup. Aku tidak mampu. Dan ini aneh sebenarnya, mengenangkan bagaimana
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 33
FEATURE WANI ARDY
aku fasih mengingati beribu ribu perkataan dalam beratus ratus lirik, namun baru tiba sifir tujuh, kaki aku sudah menggigil kerana aku tahu pastinya rotan bakal menyinggah tubuh. Fanatik, KRU, 1997. Seni adalah remeh pada mata majoriti di mana aku dibesarkan, maka minat aku dilihat sebagai tidak lebih daripada hobi hobi picisan. Ibaratnya, cita-cita doktor dan peguam saja diambil serius. Penyudahnya aku turut terpengaruh dengan mentaliti ini, lalu tidak memandang diri sendiri sebagai manusia yang mampu serba serbi. Aku tidak berani. Aku hanya mahu berada di tempat yang ku rasakan selamat. Dengan keputusan PMR dan SPM yang mengecewakan seluruh semesta dunia yang selama ini aku kenali, aku melangkah pergi, mencipta sebuah dunia baru, satu satunya dunia yang aku tahu dan mahu. Dunia penulisan kreatif. "...Di dalam keayuan Wanita, Sheila Majid, 1995. Ada kekuatan Engkaulah racun Selingan: Kau penawar insan Manis sebenarnya perkongsian lirik yang satu ini kerana bulan aku menulis warkah Bagai dermaga di pelabuhan ini adalah bulan termaktubnya Hari Wanita Berdiri gagah sendirian Antarabangsa. Dalam ratusan lagu-lagu Hadapi gelombang kehidupan tempatan yang mengangkat darjat wanita, Engkau memberi menerima lagu dendangan Sheila Majid adalah yang Menempuhi segala dengan rela..." terpaling menyentuh hati. Lembut pada senandung, tegas pada lirik. Tidak sukar (Wanita, Sheila Majid, 1995) menghakimi sebuah lagu semata atas melodi. Namun melodi cuma kulit buku. Lirik adalah sendinya, uratnya, darahnya. Dan hei, siapa kata lirik yang bagus pasti akan diiringi irama yang bosan? Berbekalkan cinta terhadap sastera dan muzik, aku melanjutkan pengajian, mempelajari seni persembahan dan teknologi kreatif. Kembara seronok dan sakit ini tidak tamat di peringkat diploma dan sarjana muda; Maha Pemurah terus meminjamkan rezeki ke tahap pasca graduasi. Proses persekolahan aku tidak terbatas antara empat dinding; turut ku kutip pengalaman jalanan dan kawankawan karyawan. Menulis atas meja dan atas rumput. Menyanyi di pentas gah dan kaki lima. Bermain muzik di studio dan ruang-ruang terbiar. Lokasi tidak menjadi soal, yang penting akal dan jiwa aku mula terisi, terubat. Buat pertama kali dalam hidup, aku telah berjumpa rumahku dan tujuanku.
34 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
"...Kini irama bertahta membina empayar Program utama untuk menakluk dunia Tak gentar dengan misi walaupun kontroversi Aku rela mati dari hidup penuh hipokrasi Setengah dekad daku mengembara Setengah nyawa telah diduga Namun tetap teguh bersama Iramaku tak akan mati Selagi membara semangat ini Ku laung ku kibarkan panji Semua punya misi sendiri Antara permata dan kaca Terpulang pada penilainya Namun satu seni itu Subjektif pada individu..." (Fanatik, KRU, 1997)
IMAGE: S. PARKER / FLICKR!
FEATURE WANI ARDY "...Everything I want the world to be Is now coming true especially for me And the reason is clear; it's because you are here You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen I'm on top of the world Looking down on creation And the only explanation I can find Is the love that I've found Ever since you've been around You love's put me at the top of the world..." (Top of the World, Richard Carpenter/The Carpenters, 1972)
Top of the World, The Carpenters, 1972 Perlahan-lahan aku sedar signifikasi seseorang manusia memahami matlamat kewujudannya. Mungkin aku tidak merawat orang yang sakit tenat, tidak memandu pesawat yang hebat, tidak menyelesaikan kes-kes jenayah berat, dan tidak juga mencipta jentera tahan karat, tetapi apabila aku merenung mata anak-anak muridku dan para penontonku, aku bersyukur atas kebarangkalian bahawa karyaku membuatkan manusia berfikir dan merasa. Berfikir dan merasa. Di era yang sarat pendustaan dan kekerasan yang membutakan kita, aku percaya peranan seni dalam memanusiakan manusia. Aku tidak pernah setuju bilamana dikatakan seni itu melalaikan dan menjauhkan kita daripada Tuhan. Sedangkan ia tertakluk kepada bagaimana kita memandu diri kita. Bagi seorang kecil aku, setakat berbelas tahun usia mentah aku dalam bidang ini, seni membawa aku lebih dekat kepada Maha Pengkarya. Semakin hari aku berasa semakin kerdil dan semakin kagum dengan ciptaan-ciptaanNya. Jika kita manusia mampu berkarya sejauh begini begitu, bayangkan Dia, yang kuasaNya tiada batas walaupun sekelumit satu. Dan tentu sekali aku sudah belajar untuk tidak bersetuju bahawa seni itu tidak sepenting sains dan matematik. Kita tidak lebih penting; kita sama penting. Kanakkanak boleh mati, jika tidak jasadnya, jiwanya, tanpa bermain. Dan dalam diri kita, bagaimana keras pun, ada seorang kanakkanak yang hidup. Dalam konteks aku yang tidak bernyawa tanpa seni, mungkin bermaksud kanak-kanak dalam diri aku lebih besar daripada diri aku sendiri. Where do the Children Play, Cat Stevens, 1970. Ada yang mendakwa, lagu-lagu zaman dahulu, liriknya lebih bererti berbanding lagu-lagu zaman sekarang. Pada pandangan aku, ini tanggapan yang terlalu mudah. Sebetulnya dahulu atau sekarang, kedua-duanya mempunyai culas dan cerdik yang tersendiri. Bezanya, dahulu media suka untuk menegaskan dan mengedepankan lagu-lagu yang bermakna. Hari ini, media memilih untuk memutarkan dan mengulang-ngulang lagu-lagu yang kurang kandungan, asalkan ianya popular. Dahulu media membentuk pemikiran masyarakat. Hari ini masyarakat membentuk pemikiran media. Tiada lagi "apa kita mahu audiens dengar hari ini ya?" tetapi "apa audiens mahu kita mainkan hari ini ya?" Maka kelihatanlah seolah-olah yang wujud hari ini hanya lagu-lagu tin kosong saja. Walhal itu tidak benar. Lagu-lagu yang berintipati dan bercerita masih ada. Kita
IMAGE: SANDER VAN DER WEL / FLICKR! "...Well I think it's fine, building jumbo planes Or taking a ride on a cosmic train Switch on summer from a slot machine Get what you want to if you want 'cause you can get anything I know we've come a long way We're changing day to day But tell me Where do the children play?..." (Where Do the Children Play, Cat Stevens, 1970)
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 35
FEATURE WANI ARDY
36 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
IMAGE: A. OTGE / FLICKR!
perlu lebih peka dan terbuka. Lirik menyelamatkan aku. Aku yang dahulu seorang budak tolol, yang sekadar tahu menangis, menyanyi, dan menulis. Sejarah telah membuktikan bahawa bukan aku sahaja, malah ramai lagi manusia yang pernah diselamatkan oleh lirik, lagu, muzik, dan seni secara amnya. Apabila kau merindui wajah yang sudah berkubur, apabila kau berpijak atas kerusi tempang memegang tali gantung, apabila kau merasa keseorangan putus harapan, bukankah ada lagu yang menemani kau menangis dan memimpin kau kembali ke landasan? "...Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can No need for greed or hunger A brotherhood of man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one...? (Imagine, John Lennon, 1971) Bait-bait kata dalam lagu kegemaranmu bukan sekadar puisi beritma atau nyanyian yang termasyhur di corong-corong radio. Ianya lebih daripada itu. Ia suara yang terluah bagi pihak bibirmu, dan ia tulisan yang tercatit bagi pihak hatimu. Ia adalah surat darimu, sama ada kepada Tuhan, atau kepada diri sendiri yang tidak kau akui, atau kepada seseorang yang tak tercapaikan. Buku terbaru beliau, Mesin Cahaya Masa, diterbitkan oleh Sang Freud Press.
FEATURE EZZAH MAHMUD
Mengenang kembali penterjemahan buku Reclaim Your Heart, Ezzah Mahmud membuka hatinya untuk berkongsi pengalaman tersebut. IMAGE: JERZY DURCZAK / FLICKR!
Ada Apa Dengan
“Saya rasa kamu patut terjemah buku ini.” Inilah salah satu baris ayat yang tidak mungkin akan saya lupa selama hayat saya dikandung badan. Kenapa? Sebab ayat ini secara langsung telah mengubah paradigma dan perspektif saya terhadap kerja penterjemahan dan karya penterjemahan. Penekanan terhadap perkataan ‘patut’, ‘terjemah’ dan ‘buku’ juga. Semuanya bermula sewaktu saya pertama kali ditawarkan untuk menterjemah buku bestseller karya Yasmin Mogahed berjudul Reclaim Your Heart. Buku motivasi Islamik ini adalah sebuah buku yang disayangi, dicintai dan dihargai sebesar-besarnya oleh para pembacanya yang terasal dari seluruh pelosok dunia. Saya juga tidak terkecuali. Mengimbau kembali perbualan saya dengan penerbit buku ini, saya masih tidak percaya yang saya telah berjaya menterjemah, apatah lagi menyiapkan projek penterjemahan buku Reclaim Your Heart ini. Buku ini, andai ditelusuri, bukan sahaja mempunyai nilai dan ilmu Islami yang tinggi, malah sangat puitis kerana ia terdiri
daripada lenggok bahasa yang indah dan memikul makna yang bukan sahaja dalam, malah berlapis-lapis. “Ish… boleh ke nak terjemah ni.” Saya yang waktu itu baru sahaja memasuki semester akhir Diploma Penulisan Artistik di Fakulti Filem, Teater dan Animasi UiTM agak kurang pasti dengan tanggungjawab dan kebarangkalian yang akan saya tempuh sewaktu menterjemah buku ini. Bising-pekik yang ternyata hadir daripada suara kecil syaitonirrajim buat seantero saya rasa tidak layak, tidak mampu dan jelas tidak cukup ilmu untuk menterjemah. Tetapi selepas diyakinkan oleh penerbit, dengan apa yang buku Reclaim Your Heart versi bahasa Melayu ini bisa lakukan kepada anak watan, kepada ibu-ibu, bapa-bapa dan warga Malaysia dan Indonesia, dan sesiapa sahaja yang faham bahasa Melayu boleh dapat apabila membaca buku terjemahan saya kelak, terus, saya gagahkan dan kayuh asa saya untuk setuju dan mula menterjemah buku ini. Di dalam benak fikir saya waktu itu, orang pertama yang saya kira boleh saya berikan buku ini untuk dibaca, ialah mak saya. Mak saya tidak begitu fasih berbahasa Inggeris, tetapi mak saya jugalah yang bertanggungjawab mendidik dan memupuk semangat membaca di dalam diri saya. Kalau bukan sebab mak rajin bawa saya dan kakak ke kedai buku tatkala ada rezeki lebih untuk dilaburkan ke buku, saya tidak mungkin akan jadi saya yang sekarang. “InsyaAllah, saya akan cuba.” Jawab saya, tenang. Waktu itu juga, saya fikir, saya sememangnya perlu menyumbang kepada buku karya terjemahan di Malaysia. Adalah sangat klise, andai dikhabarkan perihal rakyat Malaysia malas membaca, dan secara stereotipikal, sangat lekas kita menghadirkan konklusi, membanding-banding rakyat Malaysia dengan rakyat negara-negara membangun lain perihal kadar pembacaan. Mungkin ada betulnya, tetapi, saya yakin dan percaya, (dan saya petik kata-kata ini daripada penulis buku Harry Potter, J.K.Rowling) orang yang tidak suka membaca ini, mungkin dia belum ketemu sama buku yang sepatutnya, buku yang boleh buat dia jadi pencinta buku. Saya harap, buku terjemahan ini mampu jadi buku yang mungkin dapat membuatkan pembaca jatuh cinta dengan ilmu dan bahasa, sebab sungguh, inilah antara perkara yang mencanting batik identiti kita sebagai seorang individual. Bermulalah episod suka duka saya sebagai penterjemah. Andai dikisahkan secara teliti mengenai bagaimana saya terjemah buku #5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 37
IMAGE: SHANNON KOKOSKA / FLICKR!
FEATURE EZZAH MAHMUD
ini kepada bahasa Melayu, mahunya sebuah buku baru boleh saya tulis. Tetapi, akan saya cuba tamsilkan apa yang berlaku di dalam artikel ini. Buku Reclaim Your Heart yang versi bahasa Melayunya berjudul ‘Hati Ini Milik Mu’ ini akhirnya diterima oleh pihak penerbit hanyalah selepas saya selesai menulis draf keempat. Ya, benar, draf keempat. Dua draf pertama saya ditolak, dan draf ketiga pula, saya padam (saya akan kisahkan perihal ini di bawah) dan Alhamdulillah, syukur kepada Tuhan, draf keempat saya diterima. Sewaktu menulis draf pertama, saya ambil masa setengah tahun. Menterjemah/ menulis sambil menyiapkan tugasantugasan semester akhir sebagai pelajar Diploma Penulisan Artistik. Saya baca dan tulis, baca dan tulis, baca dan tulis. Waktu itu, ada dua cabaran yang sangatlah menggerunkan. Pertama, saya sangat takut sekiranya apa yang saya sedang terjemah, dan akan terjemah, ini tidak membawa konotasi yang serupa dengan apa yang penulis asal cuba sampaikan, makanya saya terjemah serupa dan secara literal apa yang ditulis di dalam buku itu. Pada saya, saya ini penterjemah sahaja, bukannya penulis. Buku ini akan dijual sebagai buku Yasmin Mogahed, bukannya Ezzah Mahmud jadi saya perlulah meng’YasminMogahed’kan buku ini. Kedua, saya dapati 38 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
saya dikerumuni oleh rasa tidak cukup kosa kata. Terjemahan bukanlah kerja senang. Saya sedar perkara itu, tapi tidak pula saya sangka ia akan jadi sesukar ini. Perkara paling sukar adalah mendatangkan makna suatu ayat bahasa Inggeris itu kepada bahasa Melayu sambil memastikan ia membawa maksud yang sama, dan, dan, dan masih mempunyai laras kepuitisan yang tinggi. Seiring dengan apa yang ditulis oleh Yasmin Mogahed. Aduh, gundah gulana saya dibuatnya! Bagaimana mahu terjemah “love is in the air” kepada bahasa Melayu? Cinta. Di. Udara? Hnnph! Memang letup pecah jugalah kota fikir saya sewaktu cuba menterjemah, tetapi yang pasti saya berjaya siapkan draf pertama. Saya berikan kepada penerbit. Selepas penerbit membaca muka surat pertama, terus saya disuruh untuk mula menulis draf kedua. Memang, saya sendiri percaya saya perlu tulis draf kedua. Saya sendiri pun, walau usai dikumpul asa dan ditembokkan muka, mahu buang draf ini jauh-jauh dan siapkan draf kedua. Saya mula tulis draf kedua. Kali ini, saya ubah teknik penulisan. Daripada mengikut sebiji-sebiji apa yang ditulis di dalam buku Yasmin Mogahed, saya lebih relaks dan menulis berdasarkan apa yang saya faham
tetapi masih berat mengikat diri saya kepada karya asal. Saya ambil masa tidak lebih 5 bulan untuk menyiapkan draf kedua. Saya lebih yakin dengan diri saya dan saya cuba sedaya mungkin. Kali ini, makantidur-terjemah-tulis adalah rutin saya sehari-hari kerana saya sudah selesai diploma dan hanya fokus dengan terjemahan. Cabaran masih serupa dengan draf pertama, cumanya kali ini saya tahu apa yang boleh saya ubah dan perbaiki. Selepas selesai menterjemah dan menulis, saya berikan draf ini kepada penerbit. Masih, draf kedua ini juga ditolak, cumanya bukanlah bulat-bulat persis draf pertama. Draf kedua saya penerbit baca lebih daripada satu muka surat. Antara komentar yang diberikan ialah tidak cukup warni dan tekstur. Belum boleh dinikmati oleh pembaca Malaysia. Draf kali ini masih terasa persis diterjemah. Saya kira, antara sebab buku terjemahan ini tidak digemari oleh pembaca ialah pembaca dapat rasa ianya persis diterjemah. Buku terjemahan yang tidak baik, tidak bisa buat pembaca kembali membacanya seperti kali ‘pertama’, kerana ianya jelas di tulis semula dan diterjemah semula dan pembaca sudah jadi pembaca sekunder, dan mungkin agak jauh daripada apa yang sepatutnya pembaca rasa, seperti
FEATURE EZZAH MAHMUD saya gunakan ilmu dan lenggok bahasa yang saya faham dan kenal, bahasa Melayu yang saya rasa menarik untuk dibaca, yang saya, sebagai pembaca, mahu baca. Saya cuba sedaya upaya untuk menghasilkan buku terjemahan yang andai dibaca, tidak terasa bagai diterjemah. Terasa seperti ianya ditulis di dalam bahasa Melayu. Saya seronok menulis draf keempat. Saya baca semula draf ini sebelum dihantar kepada penerbit. Draf keempat saya diterima! Begitulah sedikit sebanyak apa yang terjadi, proses yang saya lalui untuk menterjemah. Selepas beberapa bulan, buku Reclaim Your Heart versi bahasa Melayu, Hati Ini Milik Mu selamat dicetak dan boleh didapati di kedai buku seluruh Malaysia. Sewaktu buku ini dilancarkan di Pusat Konvensi Putrajaya (PICC) oleh penulis asal, Yasmin Mogahed, saya hanya mampu menonton siaran lintas langsung melalui internet kerana saya sudah memulakan Ijazah Sarjana Muda di United Kingdom. Namun, hanya Tuhan sahaja yang tahu betapa saya sangatlah bersyukur dan gembira untuk akhirnya melepaskan buku ini daripada dakapan saya untuk dibaca oleh sesiapa sahaja yang faham akan bahasa Melayu. Kini, saya gian mahu menterjemah buku. Bersungguh saya usaha dan usaha untuk mencari ruang dan peluang menterjemah buku bahasa Inggeris ke bahasa Melayu. Bagai bulan jatuh ke riba, saya diberi peluang untuk menterjemah buku yang sangatlah dekat dengan diri saya, serta salah satu yang paling banyak diterjemah kepada bahasa asing, Le Petit Prince karya Antoine De Saint Exupery. Buku kanakkanak (sesuai juga dibaca oleh orang
dewasa sebenarnya, kerana mesejnya yang universal) paling popular ini walau sudah diterjemah ke dalam pelbagai bahasa, belum lagi diterjemah ke dalam bahasa Melayu. Oleh itu, saya bingkas manfaatkan peluang ini untuk sekali lagi menyumbang ke bilangan buku terjemahan di Malaysia. Kali ini, proses penterjemahan jauh lebih mudah kerana saya sudah punya keyakinan itu, saya lebih matang dalam memilih perkataan dan teknik yang saya aplikasikan untuk memahami maksud yang ditulis agar karya terjemahan saya itu sama tinggi nilai maknanya dengan karya asal serta menarik untuk dibaca. Ternyata, kerja penterjemahan ini bukanlah satu kerja mudah. Seseorang penterjemah itu perlu menguasai kedua-dua bahasa, dan mempunyai pemahaman yang dalam dengan konteks ayat dan makna tersurattersirat yang mahu disampaikan oleh penulis asal. Saya impi agar saya diizinkan Tuhan untuk menterjemah lagi karya-karya unggul agar boleh rakyat Malaysia yang faham akan bahasa Melayu baca dan nikmati indah hebat karya-karya bahasa lain yang wujud di muka bumi ini. Saya berikan kedua-dua buah buku ini kepada mak saya. Saya rasa, frasa ‘patut’ terjemah yang saya bumikan di dalam diri saya, awal-awal dahulu, sewaktu saya setuju untuk terjemah buku pertama, kini sudah bertukar menjadi ‘wajib’ dan ‘mesti’, kerana karya-karya ini bukan milik saya, milik kita semua. Saya hanya pena yang menulis semula. Hati Ini Milik-Mu boleh didapati di kedaikedai buku berhampiran anda.
IMAGE: KATE TER HAAR / FLICKR!
penerima alkisah yang primer. Saya pun kemudiannya mula menulis draf ketiga. Draf ketiga berbeza dengan draf pertama dan kedua, kerana draf ketiga tidak berjaya saya selesaikan. Draf ini saya padam sewaktu ianya 70% siap. Ya, memang luar alam juga saya kira. Tetapi waktu itu, saya memang dalam kondisi yang tidak begitu kondusif untuk menulis. Saya tertekan. Saya stress. Dan saya fikir ianya hanyalah satu fasa, hormon mungkin, tetapi saya jadi pegun dan tidak bisa menulis dan menghasilkan. Otak beku. Membatu. Khali. Selepas itu, mahu saya perlu berjawab dengan penerbit. Alhamdulillah, syukur penerbit sangat memahami. Saya jelas telah terlepas tarikh untuk saya hantarkan draf ketiga kepada penerbit dan saya sedar saya tersekat dan tersangkut dan hampir lemas dalam tekanan. Langsung, saya berhenti melakukan semua kerja penterjemahan, ambil cuti, rehat, tidak pandang langsung buku itu, rehat dan rehat dan relakskan minda. Syukur, selepas depresi selama tiga minggu, saya sedar yang saya perlukan rehat ini. Saya mula menulis draf keempat. Akhirnya, selepas jerih, payah, darah, luka, jatuh, bangun, jatuh lagi, bangun balik, saya sedar yang selama ini teknik saya tidak begitu efektif. Saya mula membaca semula buku Yasmin Mogahed, khatam tiga kali, dan setiap kali saya menterjemah sesebuah artikel, saya akan baca dan faham sesebuah petikan, dan kemudian menulis dengan apa yang saya faham daripadanya sambil memastikan konteks yang ingin disampaikan sama. Saya kekal positif sepanjang proses penterjemahan. Saya masukkan ’saya’ di dalam penulisan ini. Maknanya, apa yang saya lakukan adalah
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 39
FEATURE FIKRI JERMADI
Writers on Writing Fikri Jermadi talks to four writers about the Malaysian film writing scene. IMAGE: KENNETH LU / FLICKR!
“I’ve always followed,” starts Aidil Rusli, a columnist for the Malay Mail, “or tried my best to follow Robert Warshow’s famous words: ‘A man goes to the movies. The critic must be honest enough to admit that he is that man.’” Writing about films for any given audience can be a tricky thing to do. It’s a balancing act few can pull off to satisfy all. Have a critical view, and chances are there aren’t many who will take to it. Be too kind, and you may well be accused of having a vested interest yourself. For Fadli Al-Akiti of the Tonton Filem website, there are two different types of film writing in Malaysia. “There is the mainstream form, which can be found in newspapers or magazines,” he says, “or the digital form, a field to which I contribute.” For many years, though, the only stream was the mainstream, a singular mode of expression through which writings on films could be found. Fadli lists Ku Seman, Raja Uda in Utusan Malaysia, Hizairi Othman in Massa and A. Wahab Hamzah as writers he would look up. “Even though his final reviews were a little too pandering for me, after A. Wabab Hamzah stopped reviewing films, it felt like the world of Malaysian film criticism in Malay had stopped.” Going beyond Malaysia, Leonard Maltin’s book Rating the Movies was a particularly inspirational point of reference. “That book, as well as a number of other titles, was my guide at the Laser Disc shop in Bangsar Shopping Centre at the time,” Fadli recalls fondly. 40 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
Someone who got his start in the more traditional media was Allan Koay, who now runs The Storyboard. “I was formerly a journalist, and I covered a lot of entertainment and film stuff,” says Allan, “so I was always writing about films anyway.” Having left his job, he is now able to focus on the website. “I already had it since 2007, but left it stagnant due to my day job.” Combining both the old and the new is Kr8tif Express, an initiative that focuses on news about the creative industries of Malaysia. “As we are working together with the National Film Development Corporation, writing about film is definitely a priority for us,” says editor Amzar Anizam. “However, we strive to write more than just about the film itself. We want to explore more on the up and coming talents, crews, directors and producers. We want to look at their struggles, the production journey and eventually the success of the film.” They appear to be doing it at the right time. “I think we are at an interesting time in Malaysian cinema,” says Allan, “especially after the success of The Journey in 2014, a largely Chinese-language film that became the biggest Malaysian film at the time.” If variety is the spice of life, Aidil is equally keen to note how spicy things will get. “Like everything else local and artsoriented, there’s a chronic lack of documentation, archiving and opinionmaking on Malaysian films, so I just thought it’d be fun to at least do my share, even if the things I write about them are not always positive.” That lack does not necessarily equate to an
absence of interest, just not of the creative and constructive kind. It is a trend Aidil notices. “Unfortunately it is true that Malaysians just love gossip, which explains why shows like Melodi and Meletop are watched by millions.” Amzar agrees, albeit with reservations on that assessment. “I can see that nongossip film websites and blogs are getting more attention today than the same old gossip portals.” For Allan, he acknowledges that such interests may not necessarily be all that sincere to begin with. “Those who are into the personal and private lives of stars are not really interested in films.” That’s not to say that their word of mouth is any less effective. Fadli cites Syamsul Yusof’s latest film Munafik, which made the majority of its RM13 million collection (at the time of writing) after its initial week of screening. The reverse was true for another film, Penanggal. “A lot of people watched Penanggal in the first week,” he recalls. “However, the second week numbers dropped like a stone, because the friends or family members who did see it did not like it. There were those who didn’t understand it, and those who did found it boring.” When such opinions bleed online, it can be difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff. Platforms such as Internet Movie Database, Amazon and Facebook are common ground for many to stand up with their opinions. Whether they can be regarded as critiques, however, is probably another story. “Tweeting ‘Boboboi 8/10’ is regarded as a critique for some members of the audience,” Fadli laments. “Even worse,
Social media can be a good thing for the industry, as there is an avenue for the filmmakers to listen to the audience
FEATURE FIKRI JERMADI
IMAGE: WWW.HAAIJK.NL / FLICKR!
in Western media, their promoters would use such sources as abridged quotes without context on film posters and promotional materials everywhere!” Aidil agrees. “Most of the time, it’s just people summarising the films without actually giving their opinion about them,” he says. “It is a shame, as quite a lot of these blogs have really high traffic.” How much of that traffic impact these writers? For Allan, given the wide reach of the Internet, he considers the extra information his potential target audience may require. “I still write with Malaysian readers in mind, but whenever I can, I do try to give context so that overseas readers can also understand. I’ve had friends abroad saying they get a better picture of Malaysian cinema through my writing.” Amzar himself believes in painting a more optimistic picture. “I believe with the advancement of technology, such as social media, people are more expressive, opinionated and critical of their writing and reporting,” he says. “This can be a good thing for the industry, as there is an avenue for the filmmakers to listen to the audience.” Relative to the others, Kr8tif Express has a more niche audience in mind. “Our primary
42 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
target readers are the creative industry players,” Amzar continues. While they do not discount those foreign to the industry, it does mean that their articles are based on business and commercial angles. That approach is not without its own problems. “As our content is based on facts and figures, the most difficult part is to ensure we did not misinterpret or misreport them,” he admits. “Thus, before publishing the article, we make sure that we verified the information and the source correctly.” Fadli identifies the same reason for his biggest challenge. “The most difficult for me was a paper I had to prepare for Mahrajan, an international seminar in Sabah. It was about the cinema of Rahim Razali, which I connected with the discourse of Islamic cinema.” It’s also uncomfortable having to ask yourself whether you’re willing to stick it to your friend. Aidil concedes as much, when asked about the difficulties he faces in writing such articles. “I guess the most difficult pieces are when I personally know the people involved in making the movie.” For Allan, the trickier part is the thinking, a process that can be made smooth by watching a cornucopia of movies. “Watch
as many different kinds of films as you can,” he says, considering the ways those who are interested can move forward with their writing endeavours. “Make it as diverse as possible. Include even the stuff you hate.” Going beyond watching, reading and writing are key for Amzar. “If you want to be a writer, you have to prepare yourself to do a lot more than just writing,” he advises. “Writing is a process. A lot of research goes into one article, and this does not include the revisions and such. Reading is the key; offline or online, it will definitely help you.” Aidil adds that passion is important. It is the key to satisfaction, which is crucial for the job. “Just do it out of love and you’ll be happier for it.” Fadli agrees. “We need that, without needing to care much about what others might say. Just do it.” At the end of the day, it is the watching of films that makes for an informed audience. In order for the critic to admit he is that man, he must first go to the movies. Opinions may differ, but if reading is the fuel for writing, then watching is the plutonium of film writing. As Fadli says, “it is only when we dive into the ocean that we truly understand the different sweet and salty tastes of the water.”
INNER VIEW HASSAN MUTHALIB
“Real film criticism " cannot be taught.” CQ Magazine spent some time with Hassan Muthalib recently, talking to # the guru about the art and scene of film writing in Malaysia. IMAGE: HASSAN MUTHALIB!
Greetings Encik Hassan! Thank you for your time. Let’s start at the start. What motivated you to start writing about Malaysian films? Well, I had been compiling material on Malaysian cinema since the 1980s. But it was only in 1998, after my return from jury duty at the Pyongyang International Film Festival, that I wrote my first piece. What was it about? I did two articles in the form of a dialogue between two persons (see page 46). It was a humourous critique of the Malaysian delegation that attended the festival. It was accompanied by two cartoons that I did of the jury proceedings (see page 47). That sounds sensational. After all, you do have a strong background in animation. True. My first real writing only came about when I was the coordinator for The Film Forum of Kuala Lumpur that was set up in the year 2000 by Dr Anuar Nor Arai. He was a film lecturer at Universiti Malaya, and he wanted to seriously talk about cinema. More importantly, he made sure that we had our talks in writing so that it was a record and could also be published. What kind of role did he play in your career?# He became my unofficial mentor wherein he critiqued my writing. I also learnt from the way he wrote and presented his papers. In fact, he was the first person to motivate me to talk publicly on film. In 1985, he invited me to debate his paper at his university. I was thrown into the deep end of the pool for my first ever presentation! Every writer remembers that first time they were published. Tell us about yours. 44 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
My first article for publication only came about when I was asked to write for the book Being and Becoming: The Cinemas of Asia published by Cinemaya in India in 2002. That was when I began to be serious about writing critically. Speaking of critical writing, how critical were writers on films and filmmaking back then? I think the only real film critic was Anuar. He was looking at film as film, not looking at it from the perspectives of communication, cultural studies, psychology or anthropology. I, too, am interested in the cinematic aspects of film – how technique, in fact, is narrative. This is not found in the articles of all those who have been writing on film, and those who have the temerity to call themselves film critics! # How would you categorise them, then?# Most of them are no more than film reviewers. Most speak outside the text, rather than sticking to what is in the text. Others are ‘in love’ with what they write and so become pretentious. What comes out is not what they are saying about the films, but more of how they are ‘knowledgeable’ about films, which can actually amount to very little. These are, in the words of Dr Anuar, ‘Internet Critics’. They pick up bits and pieces of information from the internet and piece them together. How should such criticism have been presented, then? Real film criticism should come from the mind and feelings of the writer, something subjective that is ultimately put across objectively with sound arguments, references, and also intertextuality, where necessary, that comes from a wide range of
disciplines that include, among others, literature, theatre, music and philosophy. When it comes to intertextuality, though, I suppose a fair amount of interest in films is driven by off-screen gossip… There has been no proper film culture and film criticism in Malaysia. In the 1980s, a start was made, spearheaded by Anuar and Johan Jaafar, a literary and theatre stalwart. The group included myself, Nasir Jani, Mansor Puteh and a few others. Articles came out in the papers written by Anuar, Hatta Azad Khan and Nasir. But it fizzled out, as did The Film Forum of Kuala Lumpur. We still do not have a proper movement like Cahiers du Cinema as envisioned by Anuar. Can’t I argue for the case of mainstream newspapers here? The mainstream newspapers mostly accept articles that are light, written for a working class audience, and slanted towards the popular actors and directors. And when there’s some controversy attached to the film, the creatives, actors or crew, the newspapers then go to the town with it. It’s all about selling newspapers and perpetuating a horizontal film mentality. There is that history, though, of space given for film criticism. You mention the likes of Hatta Azad Khan and Mansor Puteh. I raise you Dr Norman Yusoff, who wrote recently about Indonesian cinema for Utusan Malaysia. Even Utusan Malaysia, which has been supportive of serious writing, sometimes does not publish or edits articles that are ‘too critical’. The Star, I think, provides more in-depth writing but it is still not film criticism in the real sense of the word.
Real film criticism should come from the mind and feelings of the writer
As for Dr Norman, he is one of the better writers on film. He has come very close to film criticism but I would like to see him go further into how the director uses his miseen-scene to present his thesis or ideas. This is where you realise the true intentions of the director. As Ingmar Bergman has said, “If you want to know what a filmmaker is saying, look at how he is saying it.” The ‘how’ is the least explored aspect of film criticism. Going back to the Internet, what kind of role do social media play here? I think social media is playing a big role in bringing about a film-literate audience. There’s a number of blogs and Facebook sites which have serious as well as general discussions and reportage on film. But still, most are not knowledgeable enough about what is cinema. It’s a start anyway. 46 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
Could this be because there’s less happening on the ground, relative to other nations? I don’t think so. There are frequent film screenings after which discussions are encouraged. I think all this is generating interest to see film as film, especially in the last two years when a number of well-made alternative films have come out. The resultant comments herald something positive: celebrating cinema that will not be seen in racial terms, that it is a Malay, Tamil or Chinese movie, but a Malaysian film. Good examples are Jagat and Ola Bola. Who do you write for? Personally, unless it’s for an academic journal, I never have a target audience in mind. Most of the time, I write depending on the mood I am in at the moment of writing. I do not explain myself as I expect my readers to be knowledgeable enough to #
understand what I am saying. And when I critique certain people or the Establishment, I try to use wit, comedy, parody, satire and irony. But, of course, most of it goes over most people’s heads. As a critic, what is your role, here? What is it that you are supposed to do? A film critic should not write so that it is easy to understand. That means bringing yourself down to the level of your reader. The critic should maintain his or her status as someone who knows more than the reader, specifically about the cinema. The arguments, based on the film text, should be intelligible enough that it ‘forces’ the reader to do some thinking and create the ‘aha!’ effect, and maybe even have them reevaluating their earlier stance on a particular film.# I also do ‘entertaining’ film criticism by
IMAGE: HASSAN MUTHALIB!
IMAGE: MARIUSZ KLUZNIAK / FLICKR!
INNER VIEW HASSAN MUTHALIB
INNER VIEW HASSAN MUTHALIB When all the parts of a film are structured, patterned and organized well, the good gestalt will emerge and make it a film worth writing about. There are no two ways about it. That’s the secret to truly understanding film and the filmmakers’ intentions. Your writing will then be on the ball… Hassan Muthalib’s book, Malaysian Cinema in a Bottle: A Century (and a Bit More) of Wayang, is available in all good bookstores.
I write only about the good films. I don’t talk about the bad ones. No point in flogging a dead horse!
IMAGE: HASSAN MUTHALIB!
having two characters talking. This is parodying the form of a film script and film dialogue. Based on the feedback I receive, this has become popular. But even though it seems humourous and very down-toearth, there are many allusions and hidden barbs aimed at certain people, organisations and the Establishment. I also include many elements that are topical, using it to make fun of some of my friends. There are some who say they disagree with what I have written. I ask them if they understood what I was saying. That usually flummoxes them! Perhaps they were flummoxed by the term ‘flummox’. What’s the most difficult piece you’ve written? The difficult ones have only been those for academic journals and some overseas publications, where I have to do a lot of research and give references. Actually, I hate doing that but it’s a necessity. I like to sit and write and finish in one sitting. If I leave it and start again, it’s not the same feeling anymore. If I do, it’s mostly editing that is involved, with some minor revisions. How do you decide which films to write about? There’s plenty to go around! I write only about the good films, that which show potential and those that I like. I don’t talk about the bad ones. No point in flogging a dead horse! Also, you will be giving them undue prominence. My father said that without reading, there is no writing. How much do you agree with this statement? Yes, indeed! I recommend lots of reading, both fiction and non-fiction, especially autobiographies. There’s been plenty of stinging words delivered in this interview. Any kind ones that might encourage people to explore this field further, either as a writer or reader? Real film criticism cannot be taught. You can only learn some rules, but true writing comes from within you. You may be wrong sometimes but if you are sincere, it will shine through. You can get personal but when you do, use parody, satire and irony. People will be confused at what you’re trying to say. And that’s where the fun is! It’s good to watch the classic films, especially of the 1940s and 50s, a time when innocence and naiveté were still around, but were being edged out by a new and volatile era. Do travel a lot and meet all kinds of people and cultures, and be around people who are better than you are. All this will have an effect on you and make you a better writer. Above all, look for gestalt, or form, in a film.
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 47
FEATURE TANG MEI SAN
Beyond Words TEXT: TANG MEI SAN! IMAGE: MARK NOTARI / FLICKR!
She came in, quietly but swiftly, and shuffled through the not so crowded subway car. I did not even notice her presence, not until she walked past me and quickly dropped a little strip of paper on the empty space next to me. I lifted my eyes briefly from Thomas Piketty’s Capital and saw that she was doing the same to everyone else in the car - just dropping the same paper strip to everyone else in the car, not saying a single word, not asking for anything. I took a quick glance of that paper strip and noticed that it was about the “mute and deaf”. It aroused my interest and I was very tempted to pick it up, but for some reason, I hesitated. I thought, perhaps, it would be best for me to do so after this little old lady has left. Why did I feel that way? Was I afraid of picking up that little piece of paper? Was I afraid of being seen by this little lady, or was I afraid of being seen by others in the car? The truth was, every other passenger seemed to have maintained a level of indifference to this quiet figure that was passing by us. Most of them had their headphones on; some with their eyes closed, some with their eyes fixated on their phones; some just maintaining a blank look. Were these efforts to focus on their own tasks at hand, or simply efforts to just ignore another person that is trying to make herself heard by us? The television series Touch tells the story of an autistic young boy, Jake Bohm, who has never spoken a word since birth, but tries to communicate with his father, Martin Bohm, through means beyond words. In one of Jake’s monologues, he observes and reflects on how human beings are always obsessed with communication technologies. It is a reflection of our human desires to want to send out signals constantly; it is within our human nature to want to be heard. Our thoughts and ideas define us as human beings; they define our variability and diversity as a species collectively. Therefore, it is only natural for us to want these ideas and thoughts to be 48 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
FEATURE TANG MEI SAN
heard and shared by another human being. But why was I denying this lady of her privilege to be a human being? Was it simply due to her unconventional way of communicating? Was she not deserving of being heard, simply because she and I did not share the same way of communication? Could I not look and listen beyond the surface of words? It was an irony for me to be reading Piketty’s work and his ideas of social inequality. How close would we ever come to achieve social equality, if our decisions and circumstances in life have already largely been predetermined by what the majority deemed as conventional, if there was no way of seeing past these constructed conventions and accord the outliers in the society, which they deserved its privileges? The train announcement for the next stop was made and the lady quickly made another round through the car, this time to pick up all the unattended paper strips. She came past me once again and picked up the paper strip left next to me. The train stopped and the car doors opened. I watched her left and felt a surge of disappointment in myself. Later that evening, as I walked towards the train heading home, a lone figure walked past me in the opposite direction. A slightly stooped figure, carrying two huge bags, presumably one of the many homeless wandering the city. I did not remember if our sights met, but it was not before a few more brief steps, that I heard a voice behind me, “how are you doing this evening?” In just a split moment, I stopped briefly and just turned around partially, seemingly to decide if that question was directed at me, or if I should even be bothered. It was not long before I decided to resume my walk towards the subway station, but at the same time, I responded, “I’m good, thank you.” I could not decide if my response was merely loud enough for myself, or was it audible to that figure behind me. Whatever it was, I heard a response, “Have a good evening!” I let out a quiet laugh and headed towards the subway station.
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 49
FEATURE MAYA SAPIURKA
Coming Up" Blank
50 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
TEXT: MAYA SAPIURKA! IMAGE: DREW COFFMAN / FLICKR!
One of the most interesting and entertaining parts of following my favourite authors on Twitter is witnessing a little bit of the writing process. Getting a peek into how my favourite books are written is like watching a real-time behind-the-scenes DVD featurette. But not every update is a positive one. There’s something that haunts all writers, be they professional or amateur: writer’s block. Writer’s block can be difficult to define, because no two people share the same experience of it. Probably the simplest and most straightforward definition comes from Dr. Patricia Huston: a distinctly uncomfortable inability to write. But what could be the cause of this vaguely described problem? Has a writer’s Muse simply deserted them, or can we find an explanation hidden somewhere in the brain?#
When we speak of writer’s block, we may actually be talking about a ‘creation block’. M Yashna
# The location of language While there haven’t been any published
FEATURE MAYA SAPIURKA strong increases in brain activity in the frontal lobe, particularly in the language areas. In the “brainstorming” condition, the subregions involved included those associated with planning and control, whereas many of those regions involved in the “creative writing” condition were involved with memory and the motor areas related to the physical act of writing. So when we speak of writer’s block, we may actually be talking about a “creation block” – the inability to make the connections and the plans that allow creative writing to occur. So we’ve got an idea of where writer’s block is happening – but what can you do to fight against it? There’s no pill you can take to make it go away, but there are some simple things that you can try to loosen up your frontal lobe, all recommended by Dr. Huston in 1998: 1. Read someone else’s writing. Studies have shown that people are more creative when they’re exposed to the creative ideas of others. Just make sure you’re only inspired by their writing and not copying from it. 2. Break the work down into pieces. If you can’t get the introduction to flow the way you want it to, try something in the middle. Check off each part as you finish so you #
can get an accurate sense of how much you’ve completed.# 3. Write without stopping. Try writing a whole draft without going back and rereading what you’ve written. Some of it may not be great, but I bet a lot of it will be usable. At the very least, it will give you a place to start. 4. Plan breaks into your writing schedule. Many swear by pomodoro technique, but find a rhythm that works for you. Go for a walk or grab a meal with friends or watch that video of the puppy that can’t roll over (a personal favourite). Relaxing will make it easier to get back into the writing spirit. 5. Don’t procrastinate. The more you put off what you have to write, the more anxiety you’ll feel. This is always my stumbling block (and why I’ve watched half of the second season of Fringe while writing this). Ultimately, be kind to yourself. You’re not the first to go through this and you’re not the last. Being stuck doesn’t make you a bad writer or a bad person. It makes you a human being with a flawed (but marvellous) brain. Maya Sapiurka is a graduate student of University of California, San Diego. This article was first published on The Conversation, an independent source of news and views delivered with academic rigour and journalistic flair.
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
# IMAGE: DATABASE CENTER FOR LIFE SCIENCE!
scientific studies on people with writer’s block, we can take a few different avenues to try and determine what parts of the brain may be affected. One of those is looking at where words come from in the first place. Language has traditionally been thought to be one of the few skills found in a very specific location in the brain: on the left side of the front part of the brain, fittingly called the frontal lobe. This is called Broca’s area (see image), named after the scientist who first reported that damage to this area led to the inability to form words, called aphasia. Since writer’s block is, fundamentally, an inability to write down words, this makes the frontal lobe an excellent place to start in researching the underpinnings of writer’s block. We can also look at writer’s block as an inability to come up with a story, be it fiction, non-fiction, or the story of how to program your remote. Most who experience writer’s block aren’t having trouble producing words – they simply can’t figure out what should happen next. A small number of studies have looked at the concept of “story creation” and what areas of the brain might be involved. In one study from 2005, participants were presented with a set of three words and asked to create a story based around them. On some trials, they were asked to “be creative” and on others to “be uncreative”. When this task was done in an fMRI scanner, which measures blood flow to different regions of the brain as an indicator of increased or decreased activity, there was a significant increase in activity in the prefrontal cortex. This increased activity was seen not just on the left side, where Broca’s area is located, but also in the right prefrontal cortex. Some of these areas, such as the anterior cingulate cortex, that are associated with making associations between unrelated concepts – a critical skill for a great writer. In another study, from 2013, participants were asked to actually write a story while in the fMRI scanner. They were given the first 30 words of a familiar text, asked to brainstorm a continuation of that text, and then given two minutes to physically write out their story. These stories were then scored based on creativity and measured against the brain activity data generated while in the scanner. Both the “brainstorming” and “creative writing” portions of the experiment showed
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 51
COLLAGE WRITER’S BLOCK
Attack The Block
13 writers discuss how they overcome the writer’s block IMAGE: PHOTOSTEVE101 / FLICKR!
52 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
Azmyl Yunor, musician Writer’s block isn’t like a flu to me. I don’t overcome it; I tend to allow it to happen if it comes my way; I just use it as a downtime opportunity to reflect or catch up on other things in my life that I might have overlooked. And surprisingly by not paying attention to the ‘block’, you tend to find yourself back in the groove, although it might not be the groove you had in mind the first time around, which to me, is the basis of the joy of writing in all its forms. His latest album, Was Was, is available now. Find out more at azmylyunor.com Pak Agi, poet Whenever I face writer's block, I always go back to myself. By being myself I get new creative ideas overcoming my writer's block. Apa Kata Orang Tentang Agi, co-written with Shahanz Akbar, is available in bookstores. Bernie Yeo, writer Whether or not you call yourself a writer,
you ought to know how this feels: sit down to write, stare at the screen. Get up for some air. Sit down. Stare at the screen again. Get up for a snack. Sit down and stare at the screen. You are yet another victim to the vicious cycle of caffeine, calories and anguish known as writer's block. Much to your dismay, your muse has abandoned ship and you've depleted your emergency stash of creative juices. What do you do? What can you do? Talk to an invisible friend (maybe someone might talk back). Watch a horror movie (maybe it might shock your brain out of its stupor). Drink more coffee (caffeine helps, says the person who doesn't even do java) – advices are plenty. At depressing times such as these, I find myself reaching for my colouring book and coloured markers – a recent upgrade from colour pencils. A dose of colours, as I find, is a formidable cure for writer's block. Other times – usually when nobody is watching – I give in to my obsessive-
IMAGE: HENRIK JOHANSSON / FLICKR!
Kalau konsep dah ada tapi idea tidak ada, saya biasanya akan berjalanjalan sekitar kota dan memerhatikan orang sekeliling
COLLAGE WRITER’S BLOCK compulsive tendencies and go rearrange my bookshelves. By first name, by last name, by size, by colour – who cares. You'd be amazed at how much wisdom you can glean off the like of Michel Foucault, JK Rowling and HP Lovecraft in one setting. Astelier is the only magazine distributed to the most preferred banking clients, World MasterCard members and Platinum cardholders in Malaysia. Find out more at asteliermagazine.com. Syahrul Musa, playwright Usually when I'm having writer's block, I will do something else which is not related to a subject I write but can give great inspiration. It’s kind of like a refreshment to your brain. It could be something that you love to do. As for me, I would watch a live performance such as a musical concert or theatrical performance, or maybe watching a live football game at the stadium. Traveling to a new place also can give great inspiration when you have a mental block, but you must bring some material, maybe to read or a small notebook to scribble in. Syahrul’s play, Gugurnya Kopiah Putih, was staged last year at The Experimental Theatre, Universiti Malaya. Budi Citawan, general manager Hot choco, and lots of marshmallow. Budi is the general manager of the Tun Siti Hasmah Foundation. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram: @BudiCitawan. Lee Seng Foo, managing editor I try to overcome writer’s block by listening to music that is relevant to my articles. When I got stuck writing my story about Australian-born Malaysian footballer Brendan Gan, I played a bunch of Australian songs like Men At Work’s Down Under and Peter Allen's I Still Call Australia Home. Or, when I was writing about Johor Darul Ta’zim FC, I looked up for chants like Ayuh Johor and Hidup Mati Johor on YouTube and listened on repeat. This method usually puts me in the right mood to finish my articles, but the downside is I often get earworms for days! The football magazine FourFourTwo is available at all good bookstores. Winaldo Swastia, artist Stop writing, do something else or go somewhere, then observe. Restart in about six hours. Sometimes it’s different. My book is a short story compilation. I always write shorts no more than three hours. As I start, I won’t stop until it’s done. I tried writing novels 54 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
about two times, and I cancelled it. Maybe someday I’ll continue, but I believe that the story doesn’t to be unfolded yet. I’ll wait for it to change its mind. His book Memorabilia 8 Februari can be purchased on Gramedia.com. The film Aach… Aku Jatuh Cinta was recently released in Indonesia, and will be released in Malaysia in 2016. Tan Su Fen, journalist Read, whether it’s articles or short stories, and hope it’ll spark an idea or two. If the block persists, then walking away from it for a while might help. Coming back with a refreshed mind can sometimes do wonders. Buro 24/7 is an online magazine covering issues in Europe, the Middle East and Asia. Mahadi J. Murat, filmmaker# My writing approach is a ‘take-off-light’ writing style. What I did or prepared initially was only for the purpose of helping me to
The completed first draft becomes everything to my actual writing. It is the booster, the guide and inspiration for fine writing
COLLAGE WRITER’S BLOCK
IMAGE: SHAM HARDY / FLICKR!
Malaysia may not consider me her son, but in more ways than one, she's my mother
When I was writing about Johor Darul Ta’zim FC, I looked up for chants like Ayuh Johor and Hidup Mati Johor on YouTube and listened on repeat
IMAGE: INCESSANT FLUX / FLICKR! enter into the first draft stage in a light and easy-to-go manner of putting of words on paper. This will reduce the probable potential of the writer’s block. The approach also creates a situation of being able to write anywhere – any place, anytime, whether in a quiet or noisy place. I normally make short sentences, with few words as the point. This is the outline for the purpose of a free flow of words and sentencing draft. The objective is to be able to write consistently and arrive at ‘first words on paper’ draft as soon as possible. The completed first draft becomes everything to my actual writing. It is the booster, the guide and inspiration for fine writing. If I encounter the so-called writer’s block along the way I just move on to the next point, because I know I am still on track and on course with my objective. The part that stumbles, blocking my work,
finally become a plot point that makes my writing stronger and more meaningful. This makes writing an enjoyable journey of being a writer. The feature film Luqman will be released later this year. Liyana Fizi, musician By doing anything and everything besides music, and doing that until I’m tired and miss writing music again. Driving around, eating out alone and watching people helps too. Liyana’s song You Know is available on iTunes. Her new single will be released soon. Chen Yihwen, journalist" I usually travel (alone is good) to just look at things, talk to strangers and experience new cultures. I also go for long hikes, runs or rides - activities that not only push my physical limits, but also my mental strength. I do all these with the aim of emptying my mind to start again on a clean slate with a new perspective. " " When all else fail, I talk to like-minded people that I trust." The Star is Malaysia’s leading Englishlanguage newspaper. Nami Cob Nobbler, penulis Apabila saya dapat writer's block, perkara pertama ialah saya cuba kenal pasti writer's block itu berkenaan idea cerita atau konsep. Kalau konsep dah ada tapi idea tidak ada, saya biasanya akan berjalan-jalan sekitar kota dan memerhatikan orang sekeliling, atau memerhatikan benda yang viral di media sosial, atau memerhatikan pop culture. Saya juga akan menonton filem atau mendengar lagu untuk mendapat idea atau konsep. Kalau nak dapatkan maklumat tentang konsep, biasanya saya akan mula membaca dan mendapat gambaran awal dari Wikipedia atau Google sebelum cari lebih dalam di dalam Reddit atau forumforum lain.# Nami’s latest book, Awek Chuck Taylor 1: Kapsul Masa, is published by Lejen Press.# Ehsan El Bakri, author# How do you overcome writer block? First of all, ask yourself what the fun things are that appear in your mind. If you have any ideas, write them down. Don’t care about how bad it is. Secondly, read it. After that, chat with your friends, asking them about the best and worst experiences in their lives. Finally, add their experiences in your writing. You can change it a bit so that it will fit the points.# Infeksi and Psiko are available now.
#5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 55
SHORT STORY SITI NOORAIN
Shibboleth TEXT: SITI NOORAIN IMAGE: SADIQ ALAM / FLICKR!
It was not my first time driving my car and myself to this place. It’s a roundabout-like square, and surrounding it are numerous and humongous buildings, roads and bridges; a mediocre-looking lake can be seen even from afar.# #
a street food vendor. I was famished. I had not eaten anything since lunchtime. I walked, and sometimes skipped some of the tiles plastered on the pavement, just to kill my boredom. My attire looked quite immaculate, the hem of my shirt still tucked inside my pants, and the buttons were all still intact, except for the upper one near my neck.#
The time was almost 6.30 p.m. and I had not had the urge to go home yet. Thus, I drove my car all the way to Putrajaya. I did not have any plans about coming to this province. Hence, the stop I suddenly yet leisurely chose was Putra Square, at Precinct 1.# #
A few steps ahead, I stood in front of a pickup truck food vendor that sold kebabs and mineral water. I bought a chicken kebab and a bottle of mineral water for myself. Then, I scanned around and continued walking.#
# Since it was very late in the afternoon, the parking lots were already almost full. Humans were scattered around, not only people who came back from work, but also people who did not go to work at all. There were also toddlers and kids, walking and holding hands with their parents, who obviously did not go to work that day.#
***#
***#
#
#
I mentally slapped myself for forgetting the existence of this place. I knew it had a number of restaurants, thus I would not have to buy the kebab if I had not forgotten about this place. However, it was the right decision for me to buy my food from the food vendor, because immediately after I arrived here, most of the shops were already closed. Only a few were still open for business, and I could have counted with my two hands how many people were waiting to be served.#
It was a serious pain in the ass to find a vacant seat to settle myself down around Putra Square. The place was undeniably big, but it was so hard to find even a small place for me to enjoy my kebab. The kebab itself slowly lost its heat, reduced to the standard room temperature because of my own warmth. My mineral water started to sweat (or bleed, as I always call it), indicating the coldness that’s slowly seeping away. #
I drove three times around the roundabout just to find a vacant parking lot. After swiftly but carefully reverse parking my car, I turned off the engine and got out. The environment that hit me totally reflected the activities that were being carried out around the square. It was stuffy, smelly like a dirty damp cloth, as the air suffocated me. Not literally, but the smell and the feeling of the surroundings made me want to lock myself inside my car and watch everything from inside.# #
I walked until I reached the i-Centre, a onestop information point for visitors who have any inquiries regarding Putrajaya. Surrounding the centre was a bunch of umbrella-lookalike Arab camps; beneath them were seats for visitors and tourists to rest. I looked at each one, searching for a free spot as my stomach angrily grumbled, asking to be fed. I found one, but with not enough space to put down my ass and eat my kebab.#
#
56 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
#
#
#
It had been ten minutes since I got here. With the thought of fighting off the massive traffic jam and super powered heat from the sun, I decided to stay, albeit in the stuffy, smelly, damp air. I walked towards the sidewalk across the road, searching for
I looked at the people near the spot, hoping they would understand my telekinetic stare, but to no avail. A man who accidentally read my look immediately called his son and forced the boy to sit there. The boy shook his head, wailing his voice off stating that he wanted to play ball. Suddenly, a male Caucasian tourist came near the man and asked for a seat. The man unashamedly gave the tourist a big crooked smile and patted the spot, his gesture screaming the action of him forcing the tourist to sit. I looked at the man and smiled at him, and continued walking until I found the stairs to Souq Putrajaya.#
#
#
Even if that wasn’t the case, I would still feel my decision of buying food from the street vendor was right, because the prices for the food at those restaurants were insanely expensive! Although I worked for a private company, this was out of this world; how the hell can nasi briyani cost up to RM20? A glass of teh ais cost more than RM2. I was lost for words and facial expressions. I decided to climb up the stairs and walked towards the concrete barrier near the lake.
This was when I was lost in the ideas of why Dataran Putra was made with all those buildings and places"
SHORT STORY SITI NOORAIN Finally, I put down my ass and started to chow down my kebab. It tasted just okay, with the heat totally gone by now. It was like eating cold rice with chicken. Taking my final bite, I opened up the bottle of mineral water. Before drinking, I wet my hands with the sweats dripping off the bottle. I took off the cap and gulped down almost half of the bottle. Yes, I was that thirsty. Then, I drank the rest of the water.#
my shoes and went straight to the toilet. I went for a pee and had my ablution. From afar, I could see the Imam had already started the prayer, and jogged towards the saf, joining the others.# #
After only fifteen minutes, I finished my prayer and concluded my doa. I had not expected the Imam to read two whole intermediate-sized surahs for the prayer. I crossed my leg on the carpet and let out a long sigh. A late thought came through my mind: I should have prayed alone. I should not have followed the Imam.#
#
The time then was 7.10 p.m., and the sky was slowly covered with darkness, little bits of orange and red rays in between the clouds. The moon already appeared, its surface bright but uneven. The sun was already gulped down by the clouds. Mosquitos started to circle the darkness, or anything that was dark, like my hair and my pants. Feeling irritated, I immediately got up and walked away.# #
In under five minutes, the azan for Maghrib would be heard all across Putrajaya.# # This was when I was lost. Lost in the ideas of why Dataran Putra was made with all those buildings and places.# # I brought myself to the centre of the square. At the centre, there was a very tall and big flagpole, holding up the Malaysian flag. I could not be bothered with the pole actually, but I stood next to it. I looked at my surroundings and I started to walk around the flagpole. I steadied my pace while looking at the people and the activities they were doing. In general, there were families, Muslims and non-Muslims, lepaking and hanging around. # #
While I was walking around the flagpole, the azan was on but it could be clearly seen that the call was being ignored, especially by the Muslims. Mummies and daddies were busy playing with their children; teenagers interlocked their fingers together as they swing their hands and enjoyed their little stroll. Kids were shouting, wailing, giggling, laughing, snorting and running around like the square was theirs. # # And there it was, Masjid Putra, in its pink colour, standing grandly with awe, waiting for those people to come inside and perform their prayers. All I could see was people, coming from nowhere, parking their vehicles near the mosque before entering it, probably to perform their prayers. The rest were still busy with their own activities. # #
***# # I decided not to be like those who were immensely enjoying themselves at the square. I brought myself to the mosque. It was a huge, beautiful mosque; the pink colour gave a soft yet steady look. I took off
I only had the liberty of taking a short nap for less than ten minutes when a man came along and woke me up. Feeling groggy, I immediately sat up and opened my eyes. I set my eyes straight to the man who was on his knees, as my telekinetic look shot him ‘what’s wrong?’ look. “Maaf, ye. Kamu tak boleh tidur sini,” the man stated matter-of-factly, objecting to my nap.# I was not surprised to hear his words. I knew that he had already encountered a number of such incidents throughout the day, and thus already knew what he had to say.#
# Letting out another sigh, I stood up and walked towards the end of the building. I plumped my ass down the carpet and started to stretch my legs. Feeling comfortable, I laid down and shifted into the foetal position, clasping my fingers and putting them below my head.
58 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
IMAGE: BOON CHUAN LOW / FLICKR!
# I put on a little smile, asking for a short respite while waiting for the next prayer time. “Baring kejap pun tak boleh ke, bang? Saya nak tunggu Isya’ terus.” My
SHORT STORY SITI NOORAIN expression indicated that I was tired and needed a tiny nap. #
rule.”#
#
***#
put the filter in between my lips. I breathed in a long breath and slowly let out the smoke.#
The man smiled and nodded, even as he rejected my request. “Tak boleh. Nanti Tok Siak datang pun dia cakap benda yang sama. Lagipun kamu mesti dah ubah kedudukan duduk kamu. Nanti kena ambil wuduk lain. So, eloklah kalau kamu bangun dan duduk di belakang. Atau baca AlQuran.”#
#
# I decided to kill time by walking, again. Thus, I put on my shoes and went to the centre of the square. I thought that some people had already gone home, but I was wrong. Cars were busy circling the road, trying to find vacant parking spots. Some drivers even double parked their cars, in what I would consider as a totally douche move.#
***#
#
# Scattered around the square was a bunch of street sellers, selling kites, toys and whatnot. When the air suddenly became too stuffy, I made my way to the seating area near the i-Centre. I found a vacant seat and immediately put my ass down. I let out a sigh, took off my shoes and crossed my legs onto the seat. From my position, I could see people who were enjoying the night cruise at Putrajaya Lake. #
I was taken aback. My mouth was gaping open as my cigarette continued burning. My mind was somewhere else as my right hand handed out the pack of cigarettes towards the old man. The old man smiled again and shook his round head.#
#
# I let out a small laugh. I wondered how many mosquitoes were with those people on the cruise, since it was almost pitch black, with the exception of the lights glued to the boat’s roof.#
I smiled insincerely, and automatically my right hand turned into a fist upon hearing his voice. I slowly shook my head and unfisted it.#
#
#
The man stood up and smiled, again. Over time, he looked like he was going to shout at me with his facial expression that slowly reminded me of The Joker in Batman. I stood up, straightened my pants and made my way out of the mosque. # # A question came out from my mouth.# #
“Since when people are not allowed to sleep in a mosque? This must be a new
#
Suddenly, an old man, looking immaculately dressed in his black suit, took a seat beside me. He let out a short sigh, his hands placed on his knees. Looking down at the space in between his legs, he let out another sigh. Slowly, he sat straight and greeted me with a smile. #
#
“I don’t smoke. See. My lips are still pink in colour.” He spoke with low tone, his white straight teeth showing.#
#
#
“Oh. I’m sorry. By the way, what are you doing here, Datuk? Haven’t gone back home yet?” I retorted when the shock cascaded. I took a small puff from my cigarette, and put out the fire on the concrete coated seat.#
I turned my sight towards Perdana Putra. It is the primary building for the Malaysian Prime Minister. It looked so freaking huge from my seat. The big green dome was visible at its centre, with numerous windows and stairs. If I was not mistaken, visitors are not allowed to come near the building at night. I’m not sure if they and tourists could visit the building during the day. At night, though, it’s just a green and beige building, with a huge dome at the centre of it.# #
#
“Nah. Actually I wanted to have some fresh air after being locked up in my office since this morning. But, I made the wrong move. Why are all these people still here? It’s late. And tomorrow is Friday. The kids have school,” the old man rambled matter-offactly. #
Why put the building near the square if visitors could not take a closer look at it at night?#
#
#
# ***#
“Well, I’m lost for words as to why these people are still here.” I snorted, putting my pack of cigarettes into the pocket of my pants.#
#
Since I did not want the situation to turn into silence, I replied.#
Feeling bored, I stood up and walked again. I followed the pavement made for pedestrians and runners, and I walked. Sometimes, I skipped some of the tiles. With both hands in my pockets, I continued until I realised that I had circled the square. I found myself standing in front of Perdana Putra. The building was gigantic in size. I wondered just what they do inside the building. It was so massive that I felt my left knee wobbling just by looking at it. # #
“Well, then, I am lost, too.”# #
That was probably the first time I heard the Prime Minister of Malaysia said, with full honesty, that he was lost.# # Lost in his own kingdom and people.
# I found a seat and settled there. I decided to face the square, just to laugh at those people who had not gone home yet after spending two to three hours at the square. I took out a pack of cigarettes and pulled out a cigarette from the box. I lit up the end and #5 | CQ MAGAZINE | 59
POETRY SHEMSI ELSANI
Hopelessness TEXT: SHEMSI ELSANI IMAGE: FUMIGRAPHIK-PHOTOGRAPHIST / FLICKR
In the darkness, so sad and horrid, Being pushed and pumped upon, Beat by beat, torn and castigated, Left to the emptiness of time. For so young it hurts, So deep inside, unbearable pain, Keep fighting, loud and noisy, Screaming the muted voice. Reaching for help, yet to come, Beyond the horizon far away, Where the eyes failed to see, Holding tightly upon the faith. So alone in a crowd, Being betrayed by the blood, Only blackness seeping in, For the happiness is just a myth.
60 | CQ MAGAZINE | #5
#2 | CQ MAGAZINE | 29