Are You Using Your Filter Of Reason?

By: Liz Fleming

ROD STEWART PROBABLY SAID IT BEST: “I WISH THAT I KNEW WHAT I KNOW NOW WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.”

Rod’s right – we do get wiser as we get older – it’s the big reward for wrinkles and grey hair. The question is this…is there any way to increase the wisdom without adding the years? Can we get smarter faster?

No brain-boosting vitamin supplement’s going to do the trick and, so far, there’s no mind-sharpening surgery available. Our best strategy for wiser decision making is to use the same filter of reason that keeps us safe on the job every day. The filter of reason is a mental framework that can be put to work in the midst of any challenging situation – whether we’re on the fire truck, in the firehouse or at home with our family and friends. Quite simply, it’s a logical decision-making

process that tells us when our impulses are about to get us into trouble.

Remember that time when you impulsively chose to go out for a few drinks with the team when you could – and should – have gone to your daughter’s soccer game instead? If you’d turned on your filter of reason before you headed to the bar, you wouldn’t have disappointed your daughter or had to deal with the death stare from your partner for the next week.

The filter of reason is a straightforward process of questioning and analysis. That all sounds complex and scientific, but the truth is you’re simply looking for

clarity, relevance, logical consistency, evidence and fairness.

Let’s go back to that after work trip to the bar. A quick check of your calendar would have clarified your daughter’s soccer schedule and you’d have realized that it was not only relevant to her, but to you and your partner as well. The logical choice, based on the

OUR BEST STRATEGY FOR WISER DECISION MAKING IS TO USE THE SAME FILTER OF REASON THAT KEEPS US SAFE ON THE JOB EVERY DAY.

evidence of your daughter’s enthusiasm for the game and for having both of her parents in the stands would have convinced you that the fair choice was to go to her game.

Filter of reason thinking isn’t a long, drawn out process: sometimes it happens in a split second. Imagine that you’ve been talking about getting a new car. A big purchase, it’s something you’ll want to research and consider carefully so you don’t end up with crippling monthly payments that could strain your budget to the bursting point. Your ego may be urging you to go for the top-of-the-line models, but if you run the numbers through your filter of reason, you might decide that you won’t be happy paying the piper – and the bank – for years to come.

Collecting and analyzing data is key to this kind of thinking as is the ability to reason critically and

objectively, set aside any preconceived notions or biases, and approach situations with an open mind. Filter of reason thinking involves considering all possible options and outcomes to make fact and evidence based decisions rather than making assumptions or simply trusting your gut.

Whether you’re at a family dinner or sitting around the firehouse kitchen table with your crew, you’re always building, testing and stretching alliances that involve your filter of reason. If you’ve ever flown off the handle during an argument and said things you wish you hadn’t, consider turning on your filter of reason the next time you feel your temper heating up. Use it to navigate those challenging emotions, biases, and preconceived notions that can sometimes interfere with effective communication and damage relationships.

Was your son really being disrespectful when he didn’t answer your question immediately? Run his response through your filter of reason and you might decide that he was distracted, tired or simply didn’t hear you. Rather than responding with impulsive anger, you might have chosen to move closer to him, put your arm around his shoulders and repeat your question in a calm, logical way that will get you what you really wanted –an answer.

Your filter of reason will also help you to listen actively to that answer (you do have to want to hear what’s being said). Firefighters are

trained to listen carefully, take differing perspectives into account, actively seek out alternative points of view, ask questions to clarify understanding, and avoid making assumptions or judgments based on limited information. Use those skills off the job too. The better you understand your children, your partner, your friends and your colleagues, the stronger your bonds will be.

Managing emotions is another key use of your filter of reason thinking. High pressure situations at work often cause frustration and anger, but putting your filter of reason into action can help you evaluate and defuse situations before they cause emotional blowups you’ll later regret.

Imagine coming home after a long, challenging shift to find that your neighbor’s kids have left their bikes lying across the end of your driveway – again –meaning that you have to get out of your car to move them before you can pull in. Your angry impulse is to roll right over those damned bikes (they’d make a very satisfying crunch, after all) but if you activate your filter of reason, and evaluate the options for a hot minute, logic will tell you that there’s a better choice. Crushed bikes will have to be replaced – to the tune of many hundreds of dollars – and your relationship with your neighbors will be permanently damaged. Unless you or they are ready to put a for-sale sign on the lawn, you’ll stir up a world of tension for the foreseeable future. And you

don’t want that. Your filter of reason will tell you to move the bikes to the neighbor’s front porch and follow up with a firm phone call… after you’ve cooled down. In the short term, you’ll avoid buying new bikes and the long term effect will be to create a happier home situation.

Filter of reason thinking emphasizes the importance of empathy and respect in

IT'S LIKE CONSULTING AN OLDER, WISER VERSION OF YOURSELF

dealing with every person we encounter, each of whom has a unique perspective, set of experiences and needs. That approach not only defuses anger and tension but also leads to continuous personal learning and improvement. Stay open to feedback and be willing to make changes to your communication style and you’ll inevitably build better relationships. Setting aside assumptions or biases and approaching family conversations and commitments with an open mind and a willingness to manage emotions can make a huge difference.

We all realize that setting priorities can be a challenge, particularly when your job is demanding and opportunities for blowing off steam can seem far too few. Don’t you deserve to play golf occasionally? Isn’t that night out with your coworkers an important way to decompress? Shouldn’t you be able to treat yourself to a few luxuries in life?

Of course you should and of course you are. And your filter of reason won’t automatically prevent you from any of these things. What it will do is enable you to see conflicts with your plans and desires as they arise and help you to determine what’s reasonable and fair, what’s comfortable and effective and, ultimately, what’s going to be best for you and those around you. Playing a round of golf or having a night out with your buddies are great recreational choices, provided they don’t prevent you from spending important time with your family. Buying that great new vehicle could be a wonderful choice if it gives you joy and a worry-free, reliable means of transportation. You just need to run the options through your filter of reason to be sure that it won’t become a financial burden, instead of the treat it was meant to be.

Using the filter of reason thinking is like consulting an older, wiser version of yourself – one that can offer you the benefit of sound judgment and an understanding of the future effects that might result from choices you make today. Your filter of reason recognizes your current needs, desires, challenges and emotions and can help you to avoid bad decisions and make good choices. It’s a great way to get smarter faster!