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The Post of the Resurrection by Gittel Fruma

This little ship called life is being rocked by one of the most turbulent storms I’ve ever weathered. Its persistent waves are teaching me the limits of my innate stubbornness and my acute desperation for the strength of the Holy Spirit.

Anniversaries of past tempests are passing on dates so inconspicuous that no one marks their passing besides me. I celebrate them with the comfort that things might soon stabilize. We were so stagnant for so long, stuck in the apartment where God taught me gratitude for 8 years, and now we can’t seem to find a place to rest our heads.

This time has been marked by an acceptance of things I did not ask for as God uses them to equip me for that which I did ask. It would be ironic were He not so faithful and so truly gentle.

Concurrently, within this onslaught rages the deathless battle between the rational evaluation of my finite existence and my abject emotional wallowing. I know more about the inside of my head than I ever wanted to and, let me tell you, it’s not a space I was formerly unfamiliar with. The cynic within me rises up to begin a protracted commentary about the life of a self-aware believer and is swiftly quelled. Let us not indulge that vain sort of martyrdom.

Why now? This is the overarching existential question du jour. Why is now the time?

Why is now the time to chase after my dreams and work for their realization? Why is now the time to march around Jericho? Why is now the time to follow Elijah on one more errand? Lord, I am tired. Lord, you see my crazy life. Lord, how on earth is that supposed to happen right now? Why is now the time?

On few occasions do I ask the Lord, “Why?” It’s not a common question in my arsenal. I find it both irrelevant and presumptuous. To ask the question assumes I merit and would understand the answer. God owes me nothing, and His answer would likely be beyond my comprehension. And in this particular instance, the question itself is redundant because the answer is obvious.

Now is all we have. If not now, when? Promises are realized in the now. Dreams are pursued in the present. The past has only lessons to be learned, and every future we get in this life is a gift. Nothing is guaranteed except your chosen destination. I will be with Christ, I have chosen Him, but my reward is being constructed in heaven as I work here. I do not work for my reward, I work for my God, yet my reality in heaven is more concrete than that before my eyes.

“Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ.” (Hebrews 3:12-14 NLT)

Unbelief is a sneaky beast. I could not honestly deny belief in Christ, although the enemy sometimes prowls the outskirts of my mind. But, if I took my eyes off Jesus, he would quietly unravel my faith in the plans of God for my life. Satan can’t take my salvation, but he would settle for my calling.

So, here I take up the mantle once more. Here I say, “I believe in what You said to me.” Here I take another step. The road seems no shorter, but in faith, I am closer. I plant here the post of the resurrection where I will raise my banner. Here the Spirit of the Resurrection quickens my veins and my purpose. He hovers over me and once more makes beauty out of chaos.

Why now? Because we were made for such a time as this.

Now, go.

Gittel Fruma came to believe in Jesus after growing up as an Orthodox Jew. Gittel lives with her husband and son in Clearwater, Florida. She is currently working on a book about her testimony and recording her first album. You can find her at her website GittelFruma.com or on Facebook at @GittelFrumaMusic.

Photo by Karen Ruhl

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

John 11:25-26 NKJV

Photo by Karen Ruhl

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