Finding Refuge in God’s Grace By Joel Berry As many months passed without success, I decided to search for a job. A licensed CPA, I expected to find something I could do; but employers expressed no interest in hiring a self-employed fifty-something-year-old who had spent the past fifteen years doing only one thing. Months turned to years as I desperately sought new opportunities. I pleaded with God to intervene, often reminding Him of my faithfulness to Him, as though that should merit His favor.
The Great Recession dealt a devastating blow to my business. Following a record-setting year, I looked forward to signing contracts with several major new clients. The addition of only one major client would allow me to retire early, still in my fifties. I never expected to retire early, but God blessed me with a business engagement that provided abundance, both for my family and my employees. I looked forward to financial security and freedom to play golf whenever I wanted. Then came the recession. By mid-2008, all of my prospects vanished as people lost their jobs and decision-makers imposed moratoriums on new contracts. As the year drew to a close, I reluctantly released all of my employees. My wife, Cheri, and I lived below our means, saving for emergencies. We knew from experience how to survive income gaps. We felt prepared to ride out the recession, even with both of our sons in college. Surely, the economy would turn around in a few months. We trusted God would provide the next opportunity as we recalled times over the past fifteen years that He had brought new clients, seemingly out of nowhere.
After three years of searching, I found a national company that expressed interest in signing a contract. I thought, “Praise God, He finally heard my call and answered my prayers!” But later that same week, just before Cheri and I left the house to attend a fundraising banquet, my contact called to tell me that their V.P. decided to cancel the project. We left for the banquet, discouraged and in no mood to listen to an appeal for donations. I later recorded in my journal:
The past few days I have struggled with the thought, “does God really even care?” I know, deep in my soul, that He does, but my anger and bitterness have clouded my vision. I have continued my daily Bible reading and have tried to pray, but I don’t have much to say to God. I don’t know what to say to God. This morning, before I started my search for new prospects, I surrendered to God’s will once again. I asked Him to fill me with His Spirit, then I recalled specific events in my life where I have clearly seen His provision. He assured me that He is faithful and that I need to persevere.
I quoted from 2 Corinthians 12:9–10: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (NIV) 56 | M AG A Z I N E N A M E PAGE 55 3
