BE WELL, FRANKEN-MAMA by Gittel Fruma

God is speaking to me through the shredded fabric nose of my son’s stuffed bear. The little bear, whom he affectionately dubbed “mama,” became my son’s companion after he abruptly decided he would no longer use his binkie, his pacifier. It fell on the floor at the store and I gave him a new one when we got home. But by then he had already resolved to reject binkies forever. He never took a binkie again. It was shocking because he was the kid who ALWAYS had his binkie in his mouth. I had wondered how I would ever get it away from him.

A couple of days after he was all done with the binkie, he got sick for the first time. He was inconsolable, with no means of coping. Then, I got the idea to give him the little bear. It was love at first bite. He started chewing the bear exclusively and refused all teethers. After about a month, I told my mom how attached he had become to the “mama.” Her response struck fear into my heart. “How many of these ‘mamas’ do you have?” Like a madwoman, I hunted down and bought three of the now discontinued bears.

I tried to save the mamas and cycle through them evenly, but once teeth started coming in, their little organic cotton noses didn’t stand a chance. About three months ago, I started having to mend them every time they got washed. We cycle through a mama at least every day. You can imagine what the mamas started to look like. In case you can’t, here’s an idea…

Behold the transformation to Franken-mama.

Photo by Gittel Fruma

I mended the one on the left with fabric from a sheet. The one on right lost cotton through the hole in its nose and became a very sad bear-pug. When my son found a stray thread on them, he brought them to me repeating “fix mama,” which resulted in some stitching or scissoring to temporarily mend the mama. I decided to try re-stuffing their noses with a sheet. The process of slicing the mama’s actual nose open unsettled me, but it was necessary. As I sat there, using the point of my fabric scissors to stuff pieces of the sheet inside the mama’s nose, I started thinking about the daily lengths I go to for my son. Here I was, performing this procedure on the first of four mamas, thinking about how best to get the job done in an aesthetically pleasing way so my son would be happy with a nose well-sewed. I have spent countless hours chasing after lost mamas, darning their noses, cutting pieces off them as they unravel, and searching for new ones on the internet. Why the obsession with the mamas? Because I want my son to feel comforted, happy, and secure.

Even through my best efforts, I will never give my son what God can give him. I look at the badly stitched, blue-threaded nose of the mama and I think to myself, “this is so clearly my work.” There are times in life when we just need to commit our works to God, however imperfect they may be, and say, “Amen.”

I will continue to give my best to my son. He is a blessing from the Lord. I love him more with each passing day. And yet, I can never love him as much as God loves him. As I waited to meet him for nine months, God carefully crafted him inside my womb, down to the last hair that would someday be on his head. He loves him more than I’ll ever know or understand. He loves all of us that way. The Holy Spirit wishes to have a relationship with each of us. He leaves nothing incomplete. He restores everything. He shapes us into the people He meant for us to be. As much as we let Him, He will transform our lives. There is nothing that He cannot do. He wills for all things to be used for our good. If God had mended the mama, she would have glowed upon leaving His gentle touch.

While I am here, laboring for the cause of my Messiah, I pray I would be found faithful in those things entrusted into my hand. Surely, my children will be the most precious things given to me to care for. My husband, my children, my sisters, my parents, my family in Christ, and all of those with whom God knits me together should be the constant recipients of my wisdom and kindness. I will invest all I have into the Kingdom of God and I hope to be a light in the darkness all my days.

But my efforts alone will never be enough because they were never meant to be. I thank God that He sent His Son to be the sacrifice for my sins and that He sent the Holy Spirit to be my constant comforter on earth. I can’t do it by myself. I can’t live up to my own standards, let alone those of the One, Holy and Sovereign God. Someday, all things will be made new again, and all things broken will be made beautiful. In the meantime, I thank God for the work He does in our lives as we commit our paths to Him.

This is the most important lesson I can teach my little son. When all else fails, including the nose of your mama, God will always be there for you. Be well, Franken-mama. May your nose be ever intact.

Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually! (I Chronicles 16:11 KJV)

Gittel Fruma came to believe in Jesus after growing up as an Orthodox Jew. Gittel lives with her husband and son in Clearwater, Florida. She is currently working on a book about her testimony and recording her first album. You can find her at her website GittelFruma.com or on Facebook at @GittelFrumaMusic.

Photo by Gittel Fruma