My Morgan Family April 2012
Easter Ma & Her Passing Garden Photos Book Fair Gardening
The girls had a lot of fun for Easter this year. They started their Easter Celebration at the Hulbert Family Easter Egg Hunt Extravaganza. Then later on that day, the Easter bunny made a visit to our house. She gave each of the girls a wind up plastic chicken which pooped out jelly beans as it walked. It was a big hit with the girls!
The black pages you see in the photo at the left are pretty neat. As the girls used the wooden dowls to draw, the black wax was removed to reveal a rainbow of colors behind their drawn lines. The bicyle on this page is little Goosey’s, given to her by the Easter Bunny. Her very first bicycle was a handy-me-down from Brookie, which Sydney had already out grown. She squealed and started running when she saw her bicycle sitting atop a picnic table in the play area. The two older girls were also given new, identical bicyles, as they both liked the same color. I placed a zip tie around one of the handlebars to distinguish the two from each other.
Go Sierra go! Since she has been bikeless for at least a year or so, maybe more, Sierra is still using training wheels. We don’t have an area big enough for her to practice riding her bike at home, to become good enough to ride without the training wheels so Jason and
I will need to take her to her school, which has a big blacktop, for her to ride to her heart’s content.
Brooke had also been bikeless for about a year and also needs training wheels for her new bike. She was super excited and super happy to see her bike sitting atop one of the picnic tables. Brookie still believes in the Easter Bunny where as Sierra has come to the knowledge that the Easter Bunny is really mommy
and daddy. She keeps her newfound knowledge a secret though. I think she is excited to be in on a secret that her little sister doesn’t know about. Just look at that little pony. Doesn’t she look content riding in her little basket? Can I ride in there too?
April 6, 2012 The worst is over. Ma is in the hospital now. What a huge relief.
little movement could cause a breakage. Tomorrow we will find out whether she will be able to have surgery or not. The doc said that Ma’s cancer is too advanced to do anything to attempt to save her and that she was dying to which Ma replied, “That’s fine”. Ma will now need hospice care once she is released from the hospital. What an emotionally draining day. For Ma, Jason, Will, Sierra and I. I am glad that tomorrow is a new day with new energy to tackle the day. Tomorrow I am hoping to take the girls up to the hospital to see Ma. Maybe we will bring her flowers from her garden and some dark chocolate as a treat. I don’t know if she will be able to get that down though, seeing that she has only been able to eat icecream for the past few days.
This morning around 9:00, Jason called me up to say that his mom called but he couldn’t understand what she was saying. So he wanted me to go down to her house to check on her. As soon as I walked in I heard Ma moaning in a high-pitched type of moan, one that I’ve never heard before. She wanted me to help her straighten out her left leg, where her pain was coming from but whenever I tried to move it, just a fraction of a centimeter she would yelp out in pain and tell me not to move it. She thought that maybe her leg popped out of her hip socket. I gave her some Tylenol and Ibuprofen but it With the help of Brendian, Sierra and Brooke were able to didn’t really ease the pain any. forget about their worries and to play freely and completely unburdened as little kids should. Brendian picked them up She was in soo much pain that she wanted me to call an am- and whisked them away for half the day to have fun playing bulance to get her. with Conner and Emma, munch on pizza and enjoy icecream from Baskin Robins. I am soo grateful to Brendian for comYes. ing when I needed her the most. She is my best friend and a huge blessing in my life. I love her soo much! I am soo glad She actually said that. that she moved back from Idaho to California. So that only confirmed to me that she was in extreme pain. I called Thumper up. He left work and called Will up too, to meet him at his mom’s house. They spoke with her and decided that yes, an ambulance was needed. One was called and about 6 EMT’s filled Ma’s living room. To make a long story short, she was loaded into the ambulance and taken to Marshall Hospital where the doctors are now taking care of her. Jason and Will have yet to see her since she has been admitted. What a relief. She will finally get the medical care that she has soo desperately been needing and yet refusing. She’ll have better pain management. Tylenol and Ibuprofen just wasn’t doing it but Ma was accepting of that. I am soo relieved and happy for her, in that, she won’t be living out the remainder of her days in a state of suffering. This crazy, stressful morning has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Thanks be to God for hidden blessings now revealed. Update: Jason called me later on today to say that it has been confirmed that Ma has lung, breast, liver and bone cancer. It also has been confirmed that Ma’s leg is broken and that it was a really bad break. The doctors are wanting to do surgery on her leg tomorrow to reset it. The docs said that Ma’s bones are really brittle due to the bone cancer and that any
April 9, 2012
Jared & Brendian Seymour and their kids and Bishop Hawkins arrived some time before us. It was a full room! Ma looked around most of the time and stayed quiet. She only spoke a few sentences. What I did notice was that the sides of her mouth were constantly drooping down, almost like in a perpetual frown. That was different since the last time I saw her, which was on Saturday night, where she talked my ear off for an hour. And she was talking soo well, pronouncing her words, albeit quietly. We stayed and visited with one another for a half an hour more and then everyone left. I stayed to spend a little more time with Ma. She soon fell asleep once everyone had gone. It was quiet besides the soft sounds of Ma’s uneven breathing.
Jason, Sierra and Brookie went up to the hospital today to visit Ma after her surgery. She was still pretty groggy from all of the drugs in her system, but she was alert enough to visit with the family. According to Jason, Will and Kari went to visit with her later this evening only to find her sleeping. I’m guessing that the surgery was a success. I haven’t heard anything to the contrary. If Jason gets home in time tomorrow night to watch the kids, I will go and visit Ma again. Sydney hasn’t been able to visit Ma at the hospital yet because she has been sick with a virus and we don’t want it to be transmitted to Ma. I feel badly for Sydney though, because she is chomping at the bit to go see her. She became soo upset and cried when we told her that she couldn’t go see grandma today until she was better. Poor little Goosey. She misses her grandma. I am glad Bishop Sellers came by to checkup on Ma. Although she probably doesn’t know it now, she will know when she Sierra point blank asked me yesterday about what was hap- gets to the other side, that he cared enough to see her. Shortly pening with Ma. So I finally told her the truth that Ma has after that, Marilyn Goff, Connie and Sheri stopped in. I visited cancer, will not get better but will become sicker and die. Si- with them shortly and then took my leave as the family was erra burst out into tears and and sobbed. I quietly held her. locked out of the house and I was the only one who had the Then Brookie heard all of the commotion, saw her sister vis- keys! I didn’t want to leave though. If I could, I would have ibly upset, and gave her a hug–not knowing the reason behind stayed the entire night with Ma. It’s soo quiet in Ma’s room her tears. So then I told Brookie. She seemed a little sad at that I was thinking of bringing in a portable radio to play a cd first. Her eyes watered a little bit. But as the news slowly sunk with songs sung by the Tabernacle Choir. I know Ma would in, she became more and more upset and sad. She then started enjoy that. I was also thinking of softly singing to her. Now, I to cry. By the time Jason came in, she was sobbing also. I held am sooo shy that I don’t really sing when others are around, both of my girls in my arms as they cried over their grand- with the exception of my girls and occasionally in front of Jama. They said they loved her, will miss her and didn’t want son. And my voice isn’t trained or even that pretty, but at least her to die. I continued to hold them tightly. Sadness–it was it will bring some life to the void. That’ll be something we can just total and complete sadness. Difficult as it was, I told the both laugh about when we meet again on the other side! girls that I had to leave to go visit grandma. I almost stayed home instead because that is what Brookie wanted, but then she changed her mind and was okay with my leaving. Sierra made grandma a drawing and gave her a glow in the dark star, both with a little message on them written by Sierra. Brooke wrote grandma a message also which said I love you. Brookie climbed onto Jason’s lap, crying. I grabbed her little seahorse she dubbed, Lucky, gave him to her and then covered her up with a blanket. I wanted her to feel secure and comforted during such a difficult time. I love my girls. It makes me sad to know that they are sad and hurting. April 11, 2012 My family and I went up to the hospital today to visit with Ma. I didn’t know what to expect. I was a little apprehensive as to what state we would find her in. To my great joy, Ma was awake when we walked in the room…but she was different. Saturday night, her spirits were high but today, that feistiness which is soo characteristic of Ma, was gone from her eyes. I immediately noticed it. And she didn’t smile…not even once…
April 13, 2012
busy at work, Jared and Brendian Seymour helping where ever they could, Mariano also helping out in the kitchen. Hi Ma, Mariano and Darren barbequed the tri-tips as well. And soo many others from our ward family busy in helping What’s it like? Being on the other side? I know you’d tell me make your memorial a success. if you were allowed. Oh the conversations we’d have over a can of Dr. Pepper (for you and Pepsi for me) and a game I’m sure you were surprised but I wasn’t, by the amount of of Rummy! I wonder what they have you doing there? You people who showed up to honor you. I know many more are with Richard now, and your mom, and Grandma & would have come if they could, like the Johnson’s and RichGrandpa Seymour and sooo many of your friends and fam- ard’s family back in Utah. What did you think of Will’s euily. How happy they must’ve felt knowing you were coming. logy? I thought it was great. Kari’s program was fabulous. I know it’s a party up there! We miss you. I feel like you and She received a lot of compliments. Years back she went to I need some catching up to do. You’ve been soo sick and college, in Oregon maybe, for graphic design. I loved my consumed with soo much suffering the past few months pic of you which Smokey chose to put in the program, the that you weren’t yourself anymore, especially these last few one of you leaning up against a tree wearing your gun belt, days. I’ve missed visiting with you. I love you Ma. Come and looking off into the distance. Remember how it took and visit me, if you can. me many years to wear your no down to a yes to finally allow me take photos of you? That was a fun day and out Love, of that day, I was able to capture one of my most favorite images of you. Phani I was sad that I missed Jason’s portion of the program, but P.S. Please tell my mom that I say hi, I love and miss her. you know why I had to. Wah-wah was being ever soo crazy so I had to take her out. I took her on a walk outside. SydP.P.S. I’m glad that you are happy now and free of suffering. ney saw a few lady bugs in a bush so I caught them for her Love you Ma. and let them crawl on her hands. She squealed with delight! That kept her occupied for about 10 minutes. We continued our walk and stumbled upon Mariano and Darren barbecuing the yummy, deeeeelicious tri-tip. We then continued May 2, 2012 our walk around the church. I picked a stem with about 10-15 little flowers attached to it. Sydney liked it and carHi Ma! ried it around with her. Then back into the church we went. Jason was wrapping up his presentation when Goosey ran Jason told me that Sierra woke up at 3:00 a.m. this morn- up to the pulpit. She stayed standing even as he finished ing, excited to help decorate the church for your memo- and sat down. As President Dold started speaking at the rial service today. She stayed up and at 6:oo a.m. then woke pulpit, Sydney ran to the organ and began playing some Thumper up and soon after, they left for church. notes. I’m sure you got a good chuckle out of that! President Dold made a funny comment but I can’t remember what it This morning I woke up excited knowing you would be was. It took Jason and I to wrangle her out from the corner. at your memorial service at the church, and although I I took Goosey out once again! I’m sure you noticed that! wouldn’t be able to see you, I KNEW you were there, and Thanks for all of the times you took her out during sacrathat helped to comfort me. On our way up to Placerville this ment, when she was younger. morning, I thought of how beautiful the morning was with the sun shining brightly and the air nice and cool. Brookie, The older girls cried throughout the service. Brookie was Sydney and I left a half an hour earlier than I had planned. especially sad today. I felt badly that I had to leave them to Jason called me from the church asking me to bring the bag sit with friends while I took Goosey out and while Jason of onions, vase of flowers and Sierra’s hearts which had ac- was on the stand. I really wanted to stay to comfort them cidentally been left behind. Amazingly, we actually arrived during their time of need. 30 minutes before the services were to start. That was a tiny little miracle in itself. After the program was finished, it was time for grub. The food was fabulous! Did you notice the homemade hearts As I entered the building I saw the Relief Society Presidency left on the tables? Sierra made those specifically for you to
include in today’s decorations. Ross Crosby came over to talk with Jason and Will and said that, at church, you were pretty quiet, but after having heard your eulogy, he felt like he was able to know you a little better. I think he liked the person he discovered in the stories that were shared today. I think you and Ross would’ve made great friends. I have a lot of respect for Brother Crosby. He is soo knowledgeable about the gospel. Here is who sat at our table: my family, Will’s family, Warren (Kari’s dad), and Elaine. We all were able to squeeze in. Oh, I just remembered! Did you see me slip on that big piece of sauteed bell pepper ? Ha! Ha! I didn’t fall but I almost did the splits for the first time in my life! I know that gave you a good laugh! So I hope you liked your memorial service today. I thought it was perfect. We’ll talk about it one day for sure. I know that as you sat in the very back row, like you used to, you saw and heard many things that amused you! Can’t wait to hear about them when I get to the other side. We’ll have a lot of catching up to do! I love you Ma! See you in a bit, Annie Oakley
After the initial cry, peace settles in my heart and quiets the pain and I am able to enjoy spending time at Ma’s place. This morning I went into her garden to take a few pics of her flowers. What a gloriously beautiful spring day. I don’t think it could get any more beautiful than this with the sun shining, birds chirping in the trees, and a soft, warm wind gently blowing. My heart is at peace this very moment. Peace is a beautiful thing.
At the beginning and end of every school year, we Sierra wanted more books so she worked extra take the girls to the book fair. Sierra usually reads chores for extra money and bought 8 books altobooks over 200 to 300 pages long. The thicker the gether. Brookie bought 4-6 books. I love finding book, the better. Brookie is also an avid reader. I my girls with their noses deep in a book instead am impressed at how well she reads for her age. of their eyes glazed over, playing their computers!
So I’ve been talking with the fabulous Amy Hulbert about gardening. She is very knowledable. She showed me her garden a few weeks ago and let me just tell you, she has a fabulously organized garden. You can tell that it was well thought out prior to planting. Her veggies look fabulous also. I love her little carrots. They are the perfect size for little hands to dig out, wash and eat--straight from the garden. It can’t get any fresher and healthier than that. I looooove her drip system. I want the same kind whenever my garden gets to that point. With a drip system, I’m not limited to watering at early morning and dusk to avoid the leaves of the plants burning from the heat of the sun. It gives me freedom to water the plants whenever I want to, and
it waters them at their stems instead of atop their leaves. Amy referred me to The Vegetable Gardener’s Bible which I bought at Lowe’s since Home Depot didn’t carry it. Shame on you Home Depot! A few days after I bought it, Jason saw it and said that Ma just recently bought the same book and looks totally brand new, as if she hadn’t gotten around to reading it yet. So I returned the one I bought and I am planning to use Carol’s. Thanks Ma! I skimmed through this book and love it! There is soo much new (for me) information jam packed in it. I know that I’ll need to read it over and over again before becoming familiar with the information. Thanks Amy, for the fabulous recommendation.