Journeying With Joy

By Devanie Conrad

Joy is innate.

Children don’t have to be taught joy because they exude it. Ever in the present moment, unconcerned about their past or present, they are free to focus all their energies on what is right in front of their faces or on their pathways: a chewed piece of gum on a sidewalk is an object of awe; the squishy texture of mud; a slithering worm; or a shiny penny gets the full focus of delight of what’s new in their moment. Big smiles, squeals of excitement, and happy body movements often accompany these experiences. Unless they are experiencing physical discomfort, this is where they live. This is their constant state of being. And we are carried into this bubble of joy with them, forgetting everything else, we journey into their state of joy, held completely raptured out of everything else around us.

Why are we drawn to their joy?

Why do we try and recreate it? Why does it seem so elusive? What is it that we are truly seeking? When we reflect on these questions, the answers come. Sometimes the answers just arrive, seemingly out of nowhere. Other times the answers come from a magazine article, book, passing comment or google search. I absolutely can state that they do not come from thelips of those who have lost their joy, nor from those who choose to live their life bitter and jaded by the many difficulties life delivers insporadic or relentless waves.

If we have lost our joy, regaining it can “seem” impossible, and elusive.

It was never meant to be elusive. It can be our constant state of being. Adult life is founded on being independent from our parents’ provision by choosing to responsibly acquire what we need to survive. All those responsibilities can be so demanding that joy is not allowed any space. So, instead, we snatch little snippets of joy by taking time to engage with small children who know joy as an art. Often we are too satisfied with those tiny moments, not realizing we can be completely responsible, disciplined and joy-full.

To discover how to regain our journey with joy, let’s look at joyful children. We first see that they are trusting. They expect all their needs to be met automatically or if they ask and complain. They don’t engage in worrying about the possible negatives tomorrow might deliver. They also don’t commiserate about the mistake they made that landed them in the corner an hour ago. The past and future don’t exist for them. They are always completely absorbed in the moment. These three things are the major components of joy, but not the only important ones.

So, in order to make space for joy, we have to refuse to entertain the regret filled thoughts of our past and all anxious thoughts about our future. If we want to journey with joy in a constant way, we must understand that we control our thoughts, and it is our thoughts that determine our emotions. If we can discipline our thoughts and learn to cast out the thoughts that take us out of the moment, constant joy is our reward!

In my learning to journey with joy I stumbled upon a method to discipline my thoughts to a new way. It was something I would never have put together on my own, at all. As I committed to learning to be in the moment to cultivate joy, I had no idea into what a place of power I would elevate myself, nor that I would hear my grown daughter say, “In the past two years, I have watched your soul grow”. That method starts with writing down three different gratitudes for 21 days without duplicating any gratitude! After that, you repeat it twice more. Those sixty-three days help to break the habit of thinking about the negativity in the past or thinking anxiously about the future. There’s more to this journey, but here’s a tool to get you started: “How to Rewire Your Brain” by Dr. Caroline Leaf. It’s the best money you’ll spend to elevate yourself to joy, which is your power place. Stay tuned next month.

Creating joy is my purpose in life. What's great is that it can be done with a smile, touch, joke, a shared meal, craft item, or as simple as using your servers’ name and inquiring about their life. It can involve teaching on a myriad of subjects or be a heartfelt hug. But before you can share joy, you have to cultivate it. It must become constant that is unmoved by circumstance. I love sharing my Journey with Joy, with others. As a business woman, wife, and grandmother, I have a gold mine of victories. Let's cultivate joy!