COLUMNIST
CO NTEM PL ATI N G WITH CHARLOT TE
Sustainable Relationships Take the time to evaluate your relationships honestly and set healthy boundaries
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egardless of whether you consider yourself an introverted or extroverted individual, we are all united in our extremely human desire to be connected with others in our lives as we navigate the complex social world of friendships and intimate relationships. It is then even more surprising when we consider cultivating these healthy, secure, and meaningful relationships is a process that is, well, kind of learnt on the job. Unfortunately, I’m sure we’ve all experienced relationships, both friendly and intimate, which have crumbled, twisted, or turned in an unexpected and undesirable direction. A person you thought was one of your people turned out to be someone who was just passing by, and sometimes this can leave us feeling at a loss or emotionally wounded. Sound familiar? I feel you.
“Building lasting social relationships with one another in such an intricate manner sets us apart” Building a sustainable relationship Making a relationship sustainable might sound like something you’d expect to read in a self-help magazine, but trust me, it’s legit. Often, I think many of us are so eager to connect with someone that we begin to lose sight of glaring warning signs trying to tell us that the relationship might not be built to last. But if we want to surround ourselves with relationships that are inspired with both meaning and longevity, taking time to make a sustainable foundation will save you a lot of stress, dramatic WhatsApp group exits, and heartache. Choose your relationship partner carefully. We all get rushed away in the feeling of meeting
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someone new, regardless of our intentions. Ask yourself, would you admire their work as a colleague? Would you introduce them to your closest friend? Do you share conversations beyond mutual interests? Does the relationship balance in terms of both giving and receiving care, attention, effort, and importance? If you have hesitations, you might need to re-think. Look for emotional responsiveness Emotional responsiveness involves one partner being attuned to the other’s emotions and their impact upon their wellbeing. An emotionally responsive partner is emotionally present and communicates their concerns for the other’s feelings with a desire to help. These individuals typically make great friends and significant others, willing to invest time and effort to make you feel heard. Maintain closeness & check-in Being in a sustainable relationship requires effort. Long-lasting friends might go weeks without talking, but when you’re forming a new relationship, you’ll need to check in and maintain a sense of closeness with your partner. Importantly, you should also ensure they are doing the same with you. Set healthy boundaries from day one Make sure you are clear on your boundaries. Boundaries help us look after ourselves in relationships but also ensure that they are long-lasting and mutually beneficial. Set your boundaries in terms of respecting each other’s time, how often you’d like to talk, what information you choose to share with one another, and how you feel comfortable supporting their needs. @charlottesophiewrites
