Best of the Bay Creative Loafing Readers' Poll

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READERS' POLL THE READERS HAVE SPOKEN BY DAVID WARNER

Y

TODD BATES

ou’ve done it again. And then some. Approximately 17,000 of you voted in the 2010 Best of the Bay Readers’ Poll — a new record — casting 185,000 total votes in four categories. The biggest vote-getters were not exactly surprises — huge wins for USF, for instance, in Best Local College or University, and for the Tampa Bay Rays and Joe Maddon. (Raheem Morris, on the other hand — voted Worst Sports Coach — may have to earn your love.) We none-too-subtly tried to head off votes for big chains with hints like “The-Please-Not-Starbucks-Again Award,” but our efforts to retire another longtime BOTB champ didn’t work out quite so well: See the award for Best Troublemaker. Many new names surfaced in this year’s poll — from bikini designer Bunny Couture to the breakfast mavens at Pinky’s Diner. And an unusual thing happened on the culinary front: For the first time in memory, CL’s restaurant critic and CL readers chose the same person as Best Chef: Greg Baker of The Refinery in Seminole Heights. The results in two categories proved particularly heartening. Readers expressed surprisingly strong support for transit, whether high-speed or light-rail, in their votes for Best New Idea for Tampa Bay. And they showed their sympathy for the fallen TPD police officers Kocab and Curtis by posthumously voting them Local Heroes. The winners and runners-up in all the Readers’ Poll categories follow, the runners-up listed in descending order of votes received. In cases where there were close races, you’ll see more than two runners-up listed; in cases where the runner-up was far in front of the competition (except for the winner, of course), only one name is listed. We've also included some of the voters' choicest comments, their opinions (and their spellings) kept pure and unvarnished. Read. Enjoy. Argue. And thanks for voting.

Winner of the Readers' Poll for Best Local Fashion Designer, Bunny Couture, center, with models Jennifer Johnson (left) and Nikole Kristine wearing Couture's trademark sparkly bikinis.

cltampa.com | SEPTEMBER 16-SEPTEMBER 22 ,2010 | 63


PEOPLE

BEST LOCAL TV nEwSPERSOn

BEST BuCS PLAyER

BEST LOCAL TV wEATHERPERSOn

BEST LigHTning PLAyER

BEST LOCAL HEROES

Steve Jerve Runners-up: TIE: Dennis Phillips and Jim Weber Or: “The suspender guy”

& POLITICS Officers Jeff Kocab and Dave Curtis (in memoriam) Runners-up: Tampa Police Chief Jane Castor, George Steinbrenner, Tony Dungy Other: “The 3 ladies who called 911 on the shooting of our 2 TPD officers”; “The 4-year-old who called 911 for his great grandmother”

BEST LOCAL POLiTiCiAn

Pam Iorio Runners-up: Mary Mulhern, Kevin Beckner, Charlie Crist, Kathy Castor The Second Coming: 12 votes for “Charlie Christ”

THE ROndA STORmS AwARd fOR wORST LOCAL POLiTiCiAn

Kevin White Runners-up: TIE: Charlie Crist and Jim Norman; Brian Blair Question: “can we still vote for rick baker?” Him again: 9 votes for “Charlie Christ”

THE JOE REdnER AwARd fOR BEST LOCAL TROuBLEmAkER

Joe Redner Runners-up: Bubba the Love Sponge, Peter Schorsch, Catherine Durkin Robinson Other: “my 3 y.o. son”; “it’s been pretty dull lately” Note: We didn’t want to give the Joe Redner Award to Joe Redner, but he blew away the competition. We now permanently retire the award; it’s Joe’s in perpetuity.

BEST nEigHBORHOOd, HiLLSBOROugH

Seminole Heights Runners-up: Hyde Park/South Tampa, Westchase

BEST nEigHBORHOOd, PinELLAS

Old Northeast Runners-up: Historic Kenwood, Dunedin, Gulfport

BEST BEACH

Fort DeSoto Beach Runners-up: Clearwater Beach, Pass-AGrille, St. Pete Beach

BEST nEw BuiLding Tampa Museum of Art Runners-up: Salvador Dali Museum, Signature Place Condominiums, Glazer Children’s Museum Comment: “We should probably stop building”

Gayle Sierens Runners-up: Brendan McLaughlin, Reginald Roundtree

BEST LOCAL COLumniST

Howard Troxler Runners-up: Ernest Hooper, Catherine Durkin Robinson, Eric Deggans

BEST CLTAmPA.COm COnTRiBuTOR

Catherine Durkin Robinson Runners-up: Mitch Perry, Amanda Allwood Comment: “None they all suck. You’re a bunch of Liberals!”

BEST LOCAL BLOggER

Catherine Durkin Robinson (Out in Left Field, Daily Loaf) Runners-up: W.B. Philip (Lightning Shout!), Miss Destructo

BEST LOCAL PERSOnALiTy TO fOLLOw On TwiTTER

Miss Destructo Runners-up: Jesse Scotto; TIE: Catherine Durkin Robinson and Cowhead Comment: “Anyone but Miss Destructo... please. 10, 000+ tweets and what does it fucking matter”

Ronde Barber Runners-up: Cadillac Williams, Barrett Ruud

Martin St. Louis Runners-up: Steven Stamkos, Vincent LeCavalier

BEST LOCAL RAdiO STATiOn

WMNF 88.5 FM Runners-up: 93.3 WFLZ FM; 97X

BEST LOCAL RAdiO PERSOnALiTy

Bubba The Love Sponge Runners-up: Rat Boy and Stay Puff; Rob Lorei

BEST PARk

Fort DeSoto Park Runners-up: Curtis Hixon Park, Vinoy Park

BEST wEEkEnd gETAwAy

The Mystery Monkey Runner-up: 1-800-AskGary Amphitheatre Comment: “s o many head hurts ! omg” Classic Florida: “Pasco Woman Sells Trailer that’s not hers...and knifes someone in jail”; “sex toy recycling in Pasco” Classic anywhere: “The lady pulled over for ‘shaving her privates’ while driving

BEST-kEPT SECRET

Orbit 19 Lounge Runners-up: Bula Kafe, Tempus Projects’ Secret Movie Lectures, Pink Credit Other: “My 3-space parking lot at Sunset Beach... and no I won’t say where it is!”; “how many people have tigers in their backyards. It’s true!” Many versions of: “not telling, it’s getting crowded already” and “im not telling! i dont need a gang of douche bags up in my spot”

BEST SPORTS COACH

Joe Maddon Runners-up: Urban Meyer, Tony Dungy

BEST nEw idEA fOR TAmPA BAy

wORST SPORTS COACH

Raheem Morris Runner-up: Jim Leavitt

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BEST LOCAL SEx SCAndAL

BEST BizARRO LOCAL nEwS STORy

Orbit 19 Lounge Runners-up: Blue Martini, MacDinton’s Other: “my kitchen...pick up those dishes, bitch!”; “1:00 a.m.…any bar…”

Bulls Runners-up: Gators

Evan Longoria Runners-up: Carl Crawford, Carlos Peña

Orbit 19 Lounge Runners-up: At home, The Hub Other: “In my car as I drop his no car or license 32 year old ass off at work :)”; “If you can’t swing national TV… then facebook is a nice fall back”; “the police station...you never know!!”; Skyway Bridge

BEST PiCk-uP SPOT

BEST fLORidA COLLEgE TEAm

BEST RAyS PLAyER

Nova 535 Runners-up: Don CeSar Resort, the beach Typical comment: “DON’T DO IT!” The Vegas guy: “Again… Las Vegas, baby!!”

Kevin White Runners-up: Teachers having sex with kids; The Hogans Other: “BP screwing all of us” Dialogue: “Again....Anyone have the Gayle Guyardo pictures???????”; “Pathetic Question — Get a Life!!”

University of South Florida Runners-up: University of Tampa, Eckerd College

Tampa Bay Rays Runners-up: Buccaneers, Lightning

BEST PLACE TO gET mARRiEd

Anna Maria Island Runners-up: Don CeSar Resort, Fort DeSoto Most fun to say: “Tubing the Ichetucknee” Least likely to stay: “Las Vegas...handsdown....what you think Plant City can compete?”

BEST LOCAL COLLEgE OR uniVERSiTy

BEST LOCAL SPORTS TEAm

& checking things out in St. Pete, lunch/dessert at The Globe, then cocktails” Back-up plan: “Capital Grille… if the date sucks, at least you can get a great steak & wine...Roy’s too!!”

BEST PLACE TO BREAk uP

Valerie troyano

continued from page 63

BEST PLACE fOR A fiRST dATE

Ceviche

Ceviche Runners-up: Tampa Theatre, Vertical Ventures Other: “segway tour of downtown tampa”; “stroll on Bayshore”; “day of vintage shopping

High-speed rail Runners-up: Light rail, mass transit In other words: The overwhelming sentiment among BOTB voters was, “Let’s get going with transit already!”

wORST nEw idEA fOR TAmPA BAy

Moving the Rays Runner-up: Nothing else came close


Most overrated thing about taMpa bay The weather Runners-up: Ybor City, sports teams, strip clubs, beaches Booster of the Month: “Nothing is overrated. Tampa is great.” Ouch: “The fact that Creative Loafing acts like they’re important to the Community!!”

Most underrated thing about taMpa bay

The beaches Runners-up: Ybor, Downtown St. Pete, the arts scene Other: the friendly toll-booth operators”; “That Babe Ruth and Jack Kerouac both lived here for decades”; “the amazing volume of talented professionals willing to work for rates lower than normal to live here…”; “flipflops” Exclamation points: “The RAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!”; “Lack of oil on our beaches!”; “Its Beauty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”; “everything!!!””

GOODS

& SERVICES best Clothing boutique, FeMale

Dara Lauria Runners-up: Georgette’s Fashions, MISRED Outfitters

best Clothing boutique, Male

Urban Body Runners-up: Monaco Boutique, Sacino’s Formalwear

best loCal Fashion designer

Bunny Couture Runners-up: Judy Tampa, Raven Reda, Ben Chmura

best vintage Clothing store

La France Runners-up: Sherry’s YesterDaze, Squaresville, Revolve Clothing Exchange Comment: “sorry,no spending 300 on a dress im BOUND to spill beer on anywho for me…”

best hair salon

Spa 801 Runners-up: The Hair Company, Mikel’s Salon, Bentley Salon

best spa

Spa 801 Runners-up: Safety Harbour Resort & Spa; Spa Jardin; Blue Lotus Day Spa; Glow

best tattoo artist

Keller, Classic Tattoos Runners-up: Angelo Nales, RedLetter1; Frankie D Comment: “That stupid fad is still going? Grow up people, its a life sentence of stupidity”

best gyM

YouFit Runners-up: LA Fitness, Lifestyle Family Fitness Comments: “It’s fun to stay at the YMCA”; “who works out?”

best plaCe to volunteer

SPCA, Largo Runners-up: Metropolitan Ministries, CASA, Humane Society

best bike shop

Flying Fish Bicycles Runner-up: Chainwheel Drive

best plaCe to take the kids

Lowry Park Zoo Runners-up: Busch Gardens, Disney World; TIE: Florida Aquarium and MOSI Comments: “a one way trip to Siberia”; “Anywhere that you spend time with them without a cell phone”; “OUTDOORS!”

best aniMal resCue organization

Big Cat Rescue Runners-up: ASPCA, Humane Society of Tampa Bay

best environMental organization

Tampa Bay Watch Runners-up: Sierra Club, Audubon Society Comment: “fucking oxymoron isn’t it?”

best eCo-Friendly store

Whole Foods Runners-up: Rollin’ Oats, Why Not/Sweet Emotion Boutique R.I.P.: The top vote-getters in this category were Whaley’s and Tampa Street Market, both of which are now closed.

best bookstore

Barnes & Noble Runners-up: Haslam’s Book Store, Inkwood Books

best publiC WiFi

Starbucks Runners-up: Tampa International Airport, Panera Bread, Wilson’s Book World Alternative: “My neighbor, who doesn’t password-protect.”

best sex shop

The Todd Runners-up: XTC SuperCenter, Shhh! Don’t

Tell Mama Superstore Comment: “I can’t believe you’re ranking this”

best head shop

High Tide Runners-up: Purple Haze, Wooden Nickel, Headzup Smoke Shop

best yoga studio

South Tampa Pilates Runners-up: Yogani, Yoga Energy Studio

best dry Cleaner

Sew Fast Runners-up: McNatt’s Cleaners, Sacino’s Fine Dry Cleaning Comment: “I sell skateboards. I don’t use drycleaning.”

FOOD & DRINK best CheF

Greg Baker, The Refinery Runners-up: Peter Leonavicius, Toasted Pheasant Bistro; Suzanne Crouch, Ella’s Comment: “Pia Goff from Pia’S Trattoria in Gulfport (she’s not only the best chef but she’s the prettiest chef, too ;-))”

best neW restaurant

Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café Runners-up: The Refinery, Toasted Pheasant Bistro, Burger Monger

best bargain restaurant

Pizzaiolo Bavaro Runners-up: La Teresita, The Refinery

best splurge restaurant

Bern’s Steak House Runners-up: Ocean Prime, SideBern’s, Mise en Place

best pizza

Pizzaiolo Bavaro Runners-up: Cappy’s Pizzeria, Mellow Mushroom, Sally O’Neal’s Pizza Hotline

best Wings

Hooters Runners-up: Beef O’Brady’s, Buffalo Wings ‘N Things, The Wing King

best burger

Five Guys Runners-up: El Cap, Square One Burgers

best Cuban sandWiCh

The Floridian Runners-up: La Teresita, Brocato’s Sandwich Shop

best seaFood restaurant

Mitchell’s Fish Market Runners-up: Bonefish Grill, Salt Rock Grill, Frenchy’s

best soul Food restaurant

Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café Runners-up: Unique Soul Food; Savannah’s Café; TIE: Mary’s Miracle Restaurant and New Soul Sandwich Shop

best steakhouse

Bern’s Steak House Runners-up: Charley’s Steak House, Outback, Ruth’s Chris

best vegetarian restaurant

Grass Root Organic Restaurant Runners-up: Leafy Greens Café, Consciousness Blossoms

best barbeCue restaurant

Smoke Runners-up: Smokin’ J’s BBQ, Jimbo’s Pit BBQ Comment: “HAHA!!! 12 bones in asheville north carolina!”

best Chinese restaurant

P.F. Chang’s Runner-up: Hao Wah Chinese Comment: “nothing since Ming Dynasty”

best Cuban restaurant

La Teresita Runners-up: Columbia Restaurant, Pipo’s Café, Habana Café

best greek restaurant

Acropolis Greek Taverna Runners-up: Athenian Garden, Louis Pappas, Hellas

best indian restaurant

India Grill Runners-up: Cilantro Indian Cuisine, Taj Indian Cuisine

best italian restaurant (the pleasenot-olive-garden-again aWard)

Pizzaiolo Bavaro Runners-up: Carrabba’s Italian Grill, Bella’s Italian Restaurant, Rigatoni Tuscan Oven

best MexiCan/tex-Mex restaurant

Taco Bus Runners-up: Estela’s, Red Mesa, Miguel’s

continued on page 68

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Best neiGhBorhood Bar, pinellas

Best Beach Bar

Byblos Runner-up: Fez

Old Northeast Tavern Runners-up: Georgie’s Alibi, Orbit 19 Lounge, Dunedin House of Beer

Best thai restaurant

Best party district

Best wine Bar

continued from page 65

Best Middle eastern restaurant

Jasmine Thai Runners-up: Nitally’s Thai-Mex Cuisine, Thai Terrace; TIE: Siam Garden and Thai Island

Best GourMet Market

Mazzaro’s Italian Market & Deli Runners-up: Fresh Market, Whole Foods

Best sandwich shop/deli

Datz Delicatessen & Foodie’s Market Runners-up: Lucky Dill Deli, Publix, Reservations Gourmet-to-Go

Best coffee shop (the please-notstarBucks-aGain award)

Kahwa Coffee Runners-up: Buddy Brew Coffee, Indigo, Cafe Hey Comment: “shut up, I love Starbucks”

Best Breakfast

Ybor Runners-up: TIE: Downtown St. Pete/Grand Central and SoHo/Hyde Park Party pooper: A vote for Ybor City, with caveat that there’s “too much crime and gays in the evening hours”

Best dive Bar

The Hub Runners-up: Emerald Bar, Tiny Tap Tavern Comment: “I avoid those, I want to live to see my grandchildren”

Best sports Bar

Ferg’s Sports Bar Runners-up: Press Box, Beef O’Brady’s

Best draft selection at a Bar

World of Beer Runners-up: The Independent, Dunedin House of Beer, New World Brewery

Pinky’s Diner Runners-up: Lenny’s, Daily Eats (including 8 votes for “Daily Eats, although service sux”), and three-way tie between Pach’s Place, Skyway Jack’s and First Watch

Best local Brewery

Best Brunch

MacDinton’s Irish Pub Runners-up: The Chase Club, Grillsmith

Oystercatchers Runners-up: Island Way Grill, Pinky’s Diner (tie) Other: “naked at home”

Best Bakery

Alessi Bakery Runners-up: Pane Rustica, Kalupa’s Bakery

Best ice creaM/Gelato shop

Paciugo Gelato Runners-up: Coldstone Creamery, Bo’s Ice Cream

Best Juice/sMoothie Bar

Xtreme Juice Runners-up: Jamba Juice, Tropical Smoothie Café

Best drunk eats

The Wine Exchange Runners-up: A Taste for Wine, Taps, The Grape

Best late-niGht restaurant

Ashley Brown, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Runners-up: Anthony Santos, Rigatoni’s; Cary Shirai, Pinky’s Diner Other: “All the shameless hussies at The Tilted Kilt, Clearwater”

Best Martini

Taco Bus Runners-up: Mema’s Alaskan Tacos, Taco Bell

Best neiGhBorhood Bar, hillsBorouGh

Best MarGarita

Superfruit 1800, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Runners-up: Red Mesa, Estela’s Mexican Restaurant

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Best local JaM Band

Cope Runners-up: Poetry ’N Lotion, Green Sunshine, J. Coker & Westbrook

Best local reGGae/ska Band

Best place to Buy Booze

Best local punk act

Total Wine & More Runners-up: The Hub Package Store, ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, Lueken’s Liquors Comment: “Anywhere that’s not Total Wine and More”

ARTS

& ENTERTAINMENT Four Star Riot

Elysium Runners-up: Localism; TIE: Doll Partz and Misunderstood Superheroes

Best local Metal/hardcore

Lo Runners-up: Elysium, The Absence

Best instruMentalist

Jon Oliva (Savotage, Jon Oliva’s Pain) Runners-up: Kiley Astle, violin (Will Erickson and Local Roots); Gary Schutt, guitar

Best local cover Band

Four Star Riot Runners-up: Hell-Bent, Category Three, Circle Sky

worst local Band naMe

Best Bartender

Best server

The Stick Martin Show Runners-up: Rebekah Pulley, John Allison

Reality Band Runners-up: Tribal Style, Johnny Cakes & the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso, Magadog

Best happy hour

Demitry Lewis, The Chase Club Runners-up: Christina at Mahuffer’s, Kevin Gallagher at The Palm Other nominees: “Dude with the red beard at the Dubliner”; “the one with the huge tits at blur in dunedin”

Best local sinGer/sonGwriter

Taco Bus Runners-up: Bella’s Italian Restaurant, Ceviche

Cigar City Brewing Runners-up: Dunedin Brewery, Tampa Bay Brewing Company

Blue Martini Runners-up: Orbit 19 Lounge, Timpano Italian Chop House, Café Alma

The Independent Runners-up: Maloney’s Local Irish Pub, World of Beer, Tiny Tap Tavern

Caddy’s on the Beach Runners-up: The Undertow, Frenchy’s Original Cafe

Best local Band

Four Star Riot Runners-up: Reality Band, 10th Concession, John Q

Best local aMericana/roots/altcountry act

The Loving Thorns Runners-up: Have Gun, Will Travel; J. Coker & Westbrook

Best local Blues act

Damon Fowler Runners-up: T Blue, Nervous Turkey, Lee Pons

Best local indie rock/pop act

10th Concession Runners-up: Dynasty & DJ Sandman; Green Sunshine; Auto? Automatic?

Best local hip-hop act

The Stick Martin Show Runner-up: Green Sunshine

Pitbull Toddler Runners-up: Psycho Jesus, Not Tonight Josephine, Johnny Cakes and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso Other worthy candidates: Blood Fart, Twisted Thong, Ladies of Death Row Swimsuit Calendar, Peace Mole and the Psychedelic Multicolored Litmus Paper Test, Dreadful Memories

Best record store

Vinyl Fever Runner-up: Daddy Kool Records Comments: “Ha ha like there is such a thing anymore”; “They still have those?”; “what’s a record store?”; “iTunes”

Best larGe concert venue

1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre Runners-up: Jannus Live, St. Pete Times Forum Variations: “1-800-Axe Gurry Amphitheater”; “1800 ask gary or roz AMPLITHEATER”; “1800 Ask Gary Amphitheatre (so ghetto)”; “Ford Amphitheater (I refuse to write the other name)”; “1-800...... UGH”; “Jannus- NOT Jannus Live. Booo!!!!”; and the ever-lovely “Janice Landing”


Best small ConCert Venue

Jannus Live Runners-up: Skipper’s Smokehouse, State Theatre, The Hideaway Café, Crowbar Other: “ruth exists hall”

Best ConCert in the last 12 months

restART Spring Forward @The Orpheum Runners-up: Not Tonight Josephine feat. Framing Hanley and The Veer Union; Dave Matthews Band Other: One vote for the immortal “Bruce Springstein”

Best Jazz ensemBle

Buster Cooper Trio Runners-up: Nate Najar Trio, LadyFingers, Impromptu

Best loCal soul/r&B/Funk aCt

The Black Honkeys Runners-up: Green Sunshine, Kickin’ Again

Best Visual art exhiBit

Best strip CluB

Best loCal Visual artist

adult perFormer, Female

Chihuly Collection Runner-up: Grey Matter at Tempus Projects Variations: “Chahulli - I know I spelled that wrong;( ”; “CHIHULLY Gallery”; “Chihouly Collection”

Anesti Vega Runners-up: Len Neff, Ana Briancesco; TIE: Duncan McClellan and Frank Strunk III

Best Film FestiVal

Motion Film Festival Runners-up: Tampa International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, Sarasota Film Festival

Best open miC niGht

Yeoman’s Pub Runners-up: Dunedin Brewery, Café Hey

Best danCe CluB

Steve Alex Runners-up: Stick Martin, Cave McCoy, Jeremy Thomas

Czar Runners-up: The Castle, Push Ultra Lounge Comment: “We dont have a proper one. The inside of Push makes me feel like Jonas inside the whale.”

Best theater Company

Best CluB dJ

Best loCal Frontman/Frontwoman

American Stage Theatre Company Runners-up: Jobsite Theater, Stageworks Theatre

Best loCal theater produCtion

Got Jokes? Improv Troupe Runners-up: Hair (American Stage in the Park); Pericles (Jobsite Theater)

Best loCal aCtress

Allison Burns Runners-up: Summer Bohnenkamp-Jenkins. Dahlia Legault, Meg Heimstead

Best loCal aCtor

Jeff Norton (in memoriam) Runners-up: David Jenkins, Steve Garland, Bob Devin Jones

Best danCe Company

Moving Current Dance Collective Runners-up: Hip Expression Belly Dance, Tampa West Ballet Company

Best museum

Salvador Dali Museum Runners-up: Museum of Fine Arts (St. Petersburg); MOSI; Tampa Museum of Art

Best art Gallery

Vitale Art Studio Runners-up: Morean Arts Center, Tempus Projects

DJ Mega Runners-up: DJ Sandman, DJ Fresh

Best weekly CluB niGht

Filthy Richard, Fridays at Czar Runners-up: Klick Klack at The Lobby; Turbo Tuesdays at Fubar Saddest comment: “I have work.”

Best Gay/lesBian Bar

Georgie’s Alibi Runners-up: G Bar, PLAY Ybor

Best draG perFormer

MACAViTi Runners-up: Traila Parks, Kori Stevens Joke winner: Marcus Kempton (Marcus, we think your friends were playing a joke on you — but let us know if you actually do deserve the crown)

Best draG name

Traila Parks Runners-up: MACAViTi, Amber Alert Other suggestions: Scarlett O’Whora, Miss Anita Cocktail, Cherry Poppins, Ronda Storms

Best karaoke

Pornaoke at The Pegasus Lounge Runners-up: PLAY Ybor, Wilson’s, The Refinery

Mons Venus Runners-up: 2001 Odyssey, Oz Indignant voter: “Can’t believe you’re even asking. Why not ‘Best escort service’ or ‘best place to find a hooker’?”

Stephanie Shippae Runners-up: Delilah Strong, Lillith Vain Comment: “Who asks names at a Strip Club?”

Best adult perFormer, male

Jack Hammer Runner-up: 6Pak aka Andrew Six Other nominees: Fuck You the Hobo Clown; Rick Scott

Best JukeBox

The Hub Runner-up: New World Brewery

MISCELLANY prediCt the BiGGest news story oF 2011

Oil and hurricanes Specifics: Readers expect that oil will still be making headlines next year. Among the possibilities: “BP CEO killed by activists”; “BP suffers no consequences of any kind”; “Mutant shark samurais walk the earth avenging fallen brothers.” A major storm — or, as one BOTB voter resignedly puts it, “Probably some darn hurricane…” — is also on tap. Several prognosticators see a female governor in Florida’s future, but there was a wide range of opinions about who will control Congress after Nov. 2. Here’s one: “Republicans take power and finish running the country into the ground.” Another voter predicts a “Tea Party revolution — everyone throws their health insurance into Boston Harbor.” Obama, in various prophecies, will turn out to be: a Russian, an alien, a woman, another Tiger Woods. And an uncomfortable number of you predicted a presidential assassination attempt. But then, you were all about the celebrity deaths, counting the days for Betty White, Phyllis Diller, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, Dick Clark and (finally) Abe Vigoda. One consolation: “Anna Nicole Smith — ALIVE!” Readers also seem to be obsessed with celebrity outings: according to you, not just Charlie Crist but Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Ronda Storms, Ryan Seacrest, Obama, Tiger Woods, Oprah, Sarah Palin and LiLo will all come roaring out of the closet. And “Al Ruechel’s sex tape”? That’s just wrong. Doomsday sentiments are in vogue, as we get closer to 2012. It might be later than we

think, according to one prophet: “World Ends as we discover Mayans were off by one year.” Overall, CL readers showed a mix of optimism, despair and gallows humor. Here are some more of the headlines you’re expecting to see: • Apple invents the iWife. • Enraged flamingos swarm Tampa • Global Warming: Wow, you weren’t kidding were you? • Jesus Returns, brings pork chops. • Mass suicides over facebook site crash • New fad diet! Eat less, exercise more! • RAYS WIN THE WORLD SERIES • Rays MGMT found guilty of “accidentally” blowing up the Trop and forced to pay to build new stadium on existing site • Something embarrassing we do here in FL that takes the heat off a real news catastrophe or political scandal • Successful Business Woman Dies After Spending an Hour of Time She Doesn’t Have Filling out an Awards Survey

what’s the Best way to punish Bp?

Oil and feather ’em Details: Angry much? We got suggestions for boycotts, banishment, fines, floggings, even decapitation (in jest, we hope). Some measures seemed, if not plausible, at least satisfying, like: “Evenly distribute all remaining tar balls recovered to the living room of the top 100 executives” or “Make the executives sit in a room and watch 24/7 BP propaganda commercials” or “Free gas for 3 months in Gulf states.” There were some respondents who spoke up for the mom-and-pop BP stations, and others who called for perspective: “Don’t punish them. US companies have been doing much worse in Nigeria for years!!” But the most far-reaching, and actually doable, response might be to follow this reader’s directive: “Sell your car, buy a bicycle.”

who should host this year’s loaFies?

DJ Mega Apologies: DJ Mega ran away with this competition, and would have been a great choice. But he has a conflict on Sept. 15, so he can’t make it. And we couldn’t get Stephen Colbert, or Ellen DeGeneres, or “I should, I”m awesome,” among the many, many other nominees for the position. And to tell the truth, this question was kind of an, um, accident. The editor thought he’d deleted it from the ballot before it went live and... well, oops. And who knew so many of you would want the gig? But whoever’s hosting, we think this year’s Loafies party is going to be a good time. Take a look at photos from the party at cltampa. com/loafies.

READERS' POLL cltampa.com | SEPTEMBER 16-SEPTEMBER 22 ,2010 | 69


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