FIGHT FLIGHT FREEZE OR FLOW
DRAMA FREE COMMUNICATION
IF YOU ARE LAUGHING, THEN YOU ARE LISTENING & IF YOU ARE LISTENING THEN YOU ARE LEARNING
GOAL OF TRAINING RETENTION THROUGH RESPECT
“CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS AND THE THINGS YOU LOOK AT CHANGE”
~Dr. Wayne Dyer
QUESTION: WHAT IS THE BEST VITAMIN FOR A DRAMA FREE COMMUNICATOR? ANSWER: B1
TACT IS THE ART OF MAKING A POINT WITHOUT MAKING AN ENEMY
~Isaac Newton
LISTEN JOD, I DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT TACT S&%@! YOU TEACH AT THE COLLEGE!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASKCAN I ASK YOU A ? HOW ARE YOU DOING; CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO HELP ME… HOW DO I WORK BEST WITH YOU?
PARTIALLY PARROT THEM
SHOULD SHOULDN’T NEED TO DON’T NOT OUGHT TO HAVE TO STOP
YOU ARGUE WITH REALITY YOU LOSE, BUT ONLY 100 PERCENT OF THE TIME” ~BYRON KATIE
“WHEN
IT IS WHAT IT IS!
ISLAND FLOW
CONFLICT RESOLUTION WAVE ONE DISCUSSED HOW TO CREATE THE AWARENESS ZONE. THE AWARENESS ZONE IS JUST SHORT OF THE “SHOULD” ZONE
“Breathe…robotic, neutral, positive… go…” [1] GREET THEM AND PERSONALIZE THE MESSAGE [2] TELL THEM WHAT THEY DID [VERBAL REPLAY] [3] TELL THEM HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL orTELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY DID THAT [4] USE AN AWARENESS STATEMENT [TELL THEM YOU JUST THOUGHT THEY SHOULD KNOW TELL YOU, PUT IT ON YOUR RADAR, LAY IT ON THE TABLE, MAKE YOU AWARE OF IT, TALK ABOUT IT, BRING IT UP OR OUT IN THE OPEN] ISLAND FLOW
CONFUSE THEM! DON’T DEFUSE THEM!
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN IT’S TIME TO ACT?
“Breathe…robotic, neutral, positive… go…” STEP 1: A ASK/INVITE THEM TO TALK/MEET [WAIT 10 MINUTES] STEP 2: C CLEAR CONCISE STATEMENT [10 15 WORDS] STEP 3: T TRANSFER RESPONSIBILITY [REPEAT 10+ TIMES] STEP 4: [!] IMPLEMENT CONSEQUENCES [IN SETS OF 2 OR MORE] TIME TO ACT!
Toucan Lego of Drama Now!
EXPLAINING WHAT IS WORKING ALWAYS SEEMS TO WORK. EXPLAINING WHAT ISN’T WORKING, RARELY SEEMS TO WORK.
.
NOTE
The
method
delivering
news”
DELIVERING A REPORT STAR responses incorporate the following four elements: ituation: Set up the situation by describing the context [be brief and address who, where, what, when, why and how] ask: Describe the task you had to accomplish or the problem you had to solve Action: Explain the action/s you took to complete the task or solve the problem esult: Identify and quantify the result of your efforts; explain the outcome
:
STAR
works well for answering job interview questions and
“bad
GOAL: To explain a situation from a concise point of view/action
. COMMUNICATING RULES GOAL: To communicate rules in such a way that you get maximum compliance positive immediate certain PIC negative immediate certain NIC
.
GOAL: To best get through another’s expression of anger aimed at you • ● acknowledge the person’s feelings by stating what you see/feel: • “you are really upset.” A • note aloud what they said by paraphrasing them: “so, you are angry because I have been late for our last two team meetings?” N • gauge the intensity/importance of the issue: “is this something new or have you been concerned about this for awhile? G • engage in solutions to the problem being presented to you:
the next time I am late…” E • remind them of your relationship intentions in a positive way: “I am sorry for upsetting you because I really enjoy working with you… R
HANDLING ANGER
“ok,
[KEY = No Excuses] P Polite & Professional interpersonal introduction and overall tone A Agree with one of their points, Apologize & Appreciate a quality or service S Share how you plan to Solve your own problem, “next time I” or ask what to do T Thank them for the opportunity to meet/communicate – Tell how you value them with a positive relationship statement PUTTING IT IN THE PAST
SUMMARY
~PEOPLE WILL BEHAVE POORLY WHEN TRIGGERED; THAT’S HUMAN NATURE ~YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOUR CONTROLABLES & THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU HAVE CHOICES ~CHOOSE WISELY!
TOUCAN FLOW WITH THE
THANK YOU!
ANY QUESTIONS?
