INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Dr. Jody Janati 651.210.2246 Office Kopp 3304 WELCOME!
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION DAY 1
CRISIS DANGER OPPORTUNITY
COMMUNICATION PATTERN Cliché Fact Opinion Emotion “Stay on the GROW”
INTRODUCTIONS 1. NAME 2. MAJOR 3. CLAIM TO FAME 4. WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN
INTENTION
CONTEXT
WHAT IS LIFE? The words or phrases that come to mind, which best capture my life are: ¤ As I think about it now, my life is like: ¤ My life feels as though: ¤ My life is similar to: ¤ My life reminds me of: ¤ I might compare life to: AreHidingYouFrom Happiness
Life is a Gift [I Accept it] Life is a Journey [I Adventure] Life is a Mystery [I Unfold/Discover it] Life is a Puzzle [I’m Solving it] Life is a Game [I Play it] Life is a Struggle [I’m Fighting it] Life is Beauty [I Admire It] Life is an Opportunity [I’m Engaging it] Life is My Mission [I Will Fulfill It]
WHAT IS DUE FOR NEXT CLASS? What is Life? [your story] -1 Page
EFFECTIVELY DAY 2
COMMUNICATING
“The curve of a smile can set a lot of things straight!”
CONTEXT INTENTION
~R.W.
“What you are speaks so loudly, I can barely hear what you are saying” Emerson
NONVERBAL
COMMUNICATION
MAIN FUNCTIONS OF NON VERBAL MESSAGES Expressing emotion Conveying interpersonal attitudes [like/dislike, dominance/submission] Presenting one’s personality to others Accompanying speech for the purposes of managing turn taking, feedback, attention, etc.
SOCIAL COMPETENCE AND NON VERBAL MESSAGES Interpersonal Orientation: She is trying to dominate me/ he didn’t seem very into that Attitudes – I could tell that you didn’t like that movie Intentions or needs: She wants to leave – he needs help Physical states: I’m in pain, he’s tired Personality: Matt is shy… Christi is outgoing Personal Characteristics: He doesn’t look a day over 30 Intelligence: he is not as dumb as he looks/she looks smart Deception and Insincerity: I thought she was a phony, I like you… really Appearance and Behavior: Remember her; she is the smiley one, he is the one with the dandruff.
CHALLENGES OF NON VERBAL MESSAGES The are often ambiguous: meaning is often only known by the person displaying them. They are continuous: no start/end point They are multi-channeled: like reading multiple books at once They are culture based We project our own qualities onto objects Perceptions are influenced by which people we choose to observe
“RUDENESS IS THE WEAK MAN’S IMITATION OF STRENGTH”
“You are what you repeatedly do” ~Aristotle
Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Way You Use Your Voice/Vocal Variety PARALANGUAGE [VOCALICS] PLEASE SIT DOWN, YOU ARE ROCKING THE BOAT OF COURSE I’LL HELP SERVE REFRESHMENTS I AM SO GLAD YOU GAVE ME YOUR PERMISSION WE CAN GO HOME NOW JERRY NO, STOP THAT. DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID ARE YOU ALWAYS SO HELPFUL THAT’S THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER HEARD
ARTIFACTS Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Way You Dress/Decorate Your Body Status Protection GenderDecorationSpecific Sexual Attraction Age ConcealmentSpecific Attitude/Mood GroupSelfAuthorityAssertionIdentification
EFFECTIVELY DAY 3
COMMUNICATING
AFFECT DISPLAY Reference http://www.paulekman.com/wp content/uploads/2009/02/Facial Expression Of Emotion1.pdf
“S/he looked right through me”
“We had a stare down”
“S/he gave me the stink eye”
“S/he could kill with that glance”
“What a cold stare”
“S/he’s got shifty eyes”
“Eyes are the windows to the soul”
“He shot daggers across the room”
Nonverbal Messages Regarding Your Eye Behavior
“There was a gleam in his eye”
“She gave me the evil eye”
OCULESICS
“S/he made eyes at me”
“We’re not seeing eye to eye”
Nonverbal Messages Regarding Your Eye Behavior OCULESICS Functions of Gazing Regulatory: flow of com is open, your obligation to interact [server in a restaurant] Monitoring: feedback, reactions from others “look at me mom” infuses meaning, can also be a violation of Cognitiveprivacy:thinkingand processing Expressive:expressingemotions
Nonverbal Messages Your Movements
KINESICS
Regarding
Body
KINESICS
Nonverbal Messages Regarding Your Body Movements
Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Use of Touch HAPTICS Organizing Touch Functional/Professional Social/Polite Friendship/Warmth SexualLove/IntimacyArousalSelfTouch
Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Use of Touch HAPTICS Touch as Influence Compliance touching; is this ethically right? Touch as Interaction Management Tapping someone; baptisms Task Related helping someone into/out of a wheel chair Touch as Healing Touch as Symbolism rock star - they “rubbed off on me” the “untouchables”
Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Use of Space PROXEMICS Territorial Encroachments: Violations – space/tailgating, eyes/staring, taking up two seats on bus, voice/loud cell phone use, smell/apt cooking, time/use of a room, touch/airplane, Invasion – war takeover, wife turning garage into craft room Contamination – dirty hotel rooms or silverware when guest, dog’s pooping Territorial Defense = Prevention: where we stake out territory – hold my seat, we use territorial markers: umbrella, coat, notebooks, etc.
Nonverbal Messages Regarding Smell OLFACTICS [grass, pine needles, barbeque, the sea, Vicks vapor rub, puppy breath, horse stables, old books, fresh linen, Coppertone suntan lotion, campfire, coffee, pipe tobacco, leather, burning rubber, Crayola crayons, paste that comes in a tub with a stick, movie theatre popcorn] “Smell is the #1 Thing Linked to Your Memory”
Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Use of Time CHRONEMICS Time as Location Well timed = the exact moment I needed it most, ill timed = we don’t eat turkey dinner at 5pm. Time asProper/improperDuration length of events “I have been here forever.” “Speaking too long,” “waiting too long” Time asTheIntervalsrateat which something happens – “I haven’t seen you in a long time,” “email response time”
CHRONEMICS
“We need to save time” “It’s a waste of my time”
“I don’t have time for that” “I need time to myself”
Nonverbal Messages Regarding the Use of Time
“I’ll put some time aside” “I divide my time between”
“I spend a lot of time on” “I’ll make time for us”
